Lala Appleberry
Appearances
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
The last thing you want to do is sit in a courtroom in front of the person that did all of this and be scrutinized and people talking about you and not believing you because there's so much when it comes to being believed. Nobody wants to deal with that. What happens is later on in life, survivors will then come forward and prosecute. They don't typically do it right after the fact.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
Yeah, absolutely. So when we're thinking about sex trafficking or commercial sexual exploitation, and we're talking about domestically, we're looking at what we call boyfriending or romance or seduction. They pinpoint the vulnerabilities. And everybody's vulnerabilities are different. Some people's are money. Some people is the way they value themselves, their esteem, their family dynamics.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
When it happened to me, I was super vulnerable. I was super insecure. I didn't like how I looked. I didn't like how I dressed. I didn't like my family. I didn't like anybody or anything. And so when this person came along and told me how beautiful I was, I didn't have to stay at my family anymore. I could live with him. We were really young and developed a relationship. I fell in love in about...
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
Two weeks. I was 16. I was a regular teenager. You know, the things that I thought was like the end of the world, I look back and like, that's what all teenagers go through. You know, I just couldn't deal with it, I guess. And so this person came along and in hindsight was not that attractive. But at the time I was like, oh my God, it's so handsome. I love the way he dressed. I love how he moves.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
I love how he talks. I love everything about him. And came along and was like, do you want to go to eat? And I'm like, yeah. Can I pick you up from school? It started with one day, then it was every day, then it was multiple days. And then it was, oh, well, I have my own place. You want to hang out? And yeah, of course I want to hang out.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
My mom was a single mother who didn't really like have a lot of resources. And so this... person was taking care of a lot of things. And I also, when we're talking about romancing, sex trafficking, commercial sexual exploitation, I did not have a strong father figure. I did not understand what a father was supposed to do and how they were supposed to protect because mine didn't do that.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
And so early on, actually, on the contrary, I learned that Abuse and violence and negativity amongst relationships was normal.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
So you're falling in love with this person, right? This person is your everything. They have proven that they care about you. And then they say one day, hey, I'm struggling financially. They're trying to test the order. They're trying to see how you're going to respond. They're showing that they're stressed out. They're talking as if they're stressed out.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
And they're like, oh, my God, I can't pay our rent. I can't pay our bills. It was something like that. Rent or bills, whatever it was, I can't pay was what I heard. And at the time, I was very much our relationship. He was a drug dealer. And so our house where I lived with him was what you would call a trap house.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
My homeboys come over all the time because our house was like people were hanging out all the time. And they come over and just spend time with them. And then just like dropping these little bugs. Like I have this homeboy. He has a lot of money. He'll probably give you some money if you just kind of hang out with him.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
Because if he's going to give me money, then I know we can use that to pay the bills that you can't pay. Right. And then that's how it happens the first time. It's phrased like that. This can be like your decision. And then after that, it's a more direct ask. Hey, I remember you did that last time. We made so much money. And then they get you thinking like you're this team, right?
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
Like I'm the body of the client. Like we're going to do this teamwork. We're going to get this money together and we are going to make it work. And then you're really locked in because you're doing all this stuff. And you're giving your body and you're doing these things for this person that you really love. You're really locked in at that time.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
It was a possibility that was introduced in the conversations that led up into the moment. with that person, with the trafficker. And then once we got into the space with what we would call a John, there was no defense. It's almost as if the trafficker and that person talked, conversed about what was going to happen. And I was just a willing participant at the time.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
It doesn't always have to start off as like intercourse. It can be kissing or groping or touching or other things. And it's gradual, right? Because they're testing the waters to see what they can get away with. And so that happens at one time and then maybe weeks go by and it's like, oh, I never want to do that again.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
And you're venting, you're saying, and the trafficker doesn't make you do it again. But then a few weeks later... Hey, we're going to go out of town and he's more direct. We're going to make a lot of money. We're going to go to New York. There's this party we're going to go to. There's all these high earners. There's all these people here, so on and so forth. And we're going to make money.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
This is the hardest part for people to grasp and understand. There's an alliance that this groomer has created because they got into the minds of this very vulnerable person and decided they were going to feel those vulnerabilities. If somebody came to me and said, stop, you're a victim. This is what's happening. I would have been like, yeah, right. You're stupid. That's not true.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
This is my boyfriend. What are you talking about? I will do anything for him because he would do anything for me. It's a non-tangible core. Think about like a tie, like you're tied up, but you can't see the ties. They're invisible.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
For me... My mom. I was still 16. I was still minor. So I had some protections. But I have to say, without going into detail, right before my mom found out what was going on, I had been assaulted. And that was kind of the breaking point where I had to tell somebody because I needed help. And it was a friend that I told. And that friend then kind of got my mom. And then that's how she found out.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
And so it was this very blunt intervention that not happened. Who knows?
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
When somebody told me... Right after, it was when somebody told me, you're a victim. And I was in denial. And I'm like, no. And then you read the literature and you read the books and you hear the other stories of other survivors. And you're like, wow. So it's not unique to me. I was blessed enough to begin working for an organization in Massachusetts called My Life, My Choice. And they mentored.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
young girls and the women who had similar experiences to mine and that's when I really knew because now I would hear their stories and I'm helping them get out of their situations and I'm like I'm literally having the deja vu because I was just there like four years ago five years ago what and then it really begins to hit you and you even go through like this
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
this phase of even more denial and discovery and trauma, like you really start unpacking all of that stuff because you think you're unique. You think that this situation was just your situation until someone tells you no. The way I deal with it and then I teach the members of the network to deal with it is by owning it.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
Extreme ownership of your story because for so long as a victim, things are taken from you. You have no choice. You have to kind of do what you're told to do. When you take your story and you own it, this is mine and you can't make me feel bad about it, anybody. You can't make me say anything wrong. You literally cannot attack me with my own story.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
So once you own it and then decide I'm going to use it for good, I'm going to talk about it. publicly to whoever will listen. I'm going to educate about it because this is an injustice.
Diddy On Trial
What is sex trafficking?
Well, because first of all, you don't think you're a victim. You don't think you're a victim until someone pulls you out and tells you you're a victim, especially when you're a minor. But secondly, you've experienced the worst trauma of your life and you are literally unpacking all of it on a day to day.