Lane Beachley

And I thought, Dad and I just pieced that together as saying, okay, maybe a Scottish backpacker that just found herself in a compromised situation and wasn't able to keep the baby.

And that was enough for me.

I was satisfied with that information and felt like I was...

I felt a little bit more grounded in myself.

Like, okay, I know that perhaps where I come from isn't the story that I told myself up until this point in time.

And that's the nature of adoptees too, right?

We tend to have a common denominator of rejection and abandonment that serves us, that supports us.

We either behave in a way that

gives us reason to be rejected, or we reject people first.

And that keeps us in the illusion of control.

It keeps us safe.

It keeps us continuously testing the boundaries.

Who's really here for me?

So how did you and Maggie make direct contact with one another?

Mum initially found out who my dad was and made contact with him.

Dad knew that I had started searching for her and he didn't feel threatened or intimidated by it.

He was very encouraging and supportive of that.

And when he was called by Maggie...

He basically told her that I was in Indonesia, didn't tell her what I did or who I was or what I'd achieved, and that I would make the effort to contact her when I was ready.

So he placed very clear boundaries around that and said, give me your number, I will share it with Lane.