Lane Beachley

So I lost Valerie, I lost Christina, and then mum, when I first met her, was also HIV positive.

So I knew it was just a matter of time before I lost her as well.

So I was afraid to connect.

And so when I received this phone call, I did not hesitate.

I booked a flight and flew out the next day because three weeks, you don't know how long they're going to be conscious when you've been given three weeks to live.

And I'm really, really grateful that I did that.

Like I just put everything aside.

Now, in the lead up to that, over the years, I had attempted to reach back out and seek connection with her.

I sent her a card explaining...

saying I'm sorry and explaining why I did the things that I did, basically saying I was never trying to prove you wrong.

I was always trying to prove myself right.

And I sent her a necklace saying I love you, mum.

It took a lot in me to say mum because I didn't trust that word mum.

And then her response to that was, thanks for your note.

Thanks for the gift.

Don't know how I'm meant to take it.

So I was rejected time and time and time again.

So it was a great teacher.

She was a beautiful teacher for me in dealing with that rejection piece and navigating my way through that experience.

Long story short, when she called me, I jumped on a plane the next day, flew to Spokane, and I read in my diary yesterday about what was going through my mind.