Lane Beachley

And I kept abusing myself and expecting myself to show up where deep down I knew

My health was compromised.

My mentality was compromised.

My relationship with myself was under immense stress and I was in pain.

I was struggling and yet I wasn't willing to put my hand up and ask for help.

And when I finally did, the catalyst to putting my hand up was waking up several times throughout a week, waking up each morning and thinking, I can't do this any longer.

There's got to be a way to end my life that's not going to hurt.

Instead of embracing the fact that this hurts now, but this too shall pass if I'm willing to face it now.

And when I rang a dear friend, Joanna Griggs, who was an Olympic athlete and swimmer, and I knew she'd been through a similar situation with glandular fever, which is the precursor to chronic fatigue.

I skipped the glandular fever part, which straightened to chronic fatigue.

Anyone surprised by that?

I doubt it.

I'm certainly not.

And when I picked up the phone, the first thing she said to me was, Hi, Lane, what took you so long?

So our friends and our family, our loved ones, they know that we're not coping.

But we put on this brave face or this facade and until we're willing to accept the part we've played in it, we will never own it.

I did cane myself for the first seven years with this victimised mentality, this belief that it had to be nothing but suffering and pain and

And then in 1996 was when I truly embraced the healing process.

In 1997, I became runner up to the world title for the second time.

And once again, I was ready to go.