Laura Danger

That's the other part of it is when there is one person managing more of the mental and emotional load, they get blamed when things fall apart for not giving directions or not asking nicely enough or not thinking all of those things through.

It sure can.

And unfortunately, it is a bit of an embarrassing issue because that sort of inequity does not align with the values a lot of people talk about or proclaim to have.

And so...

I talk to a lot of people who behind closed doors are sort of protecting this inequity and this resentment that happens privately at home because they don't want to embarrass.

They don't want to reveal this sort of painful dynamic that so many, even the most progressive, like feminist people, this is happening behind closed doors.

There are.

Thankfully, there are many answers.

And it really, it's a couple of things.

And I hate to boil it down to this simple, but a lot of it is changing the framing as to how we look at this work.

This is valuable work.

This is work that really is the core of our lives, that make our lives unique, is the decisions and values and ways that we shape our lives.

And when you are building a life with someone, it is a collaborative effort.

And if you can make room for each other and encourage each other to take part, that's really the foundation of it is this approach that this is something we are doing together.

Thank you.

Oh, 100%.

And I'll tell you that this is where in my own personal experience, I have experienced it the most.

Absolutely.

And again, there's research on this that a lot of times women are doing a lot of the non-promotable tasks, a lot of the planning of the office parties, of doing all of that connection work that happens in the workplace, even taking notes, the sort of stuff that you're thinking, oh, didn't we leave this 50, 70, 100 years ago, this gendered labor?

But a lot of times they call it it's the failing on purpose, but also failing at the menial tasks or the things that are really annoying to do.