Laura Key
Appearances
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
All right. So tell ADHD AHA listeners what is climbing the walls about.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
When we started talking about this, I was like, oh, this is going to be about the pandemic and the rise of TikTok. That's all this is going to be about. And it goes so much deeper.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
It's like a tray of hors d'oeuvres that we have here on our fancy new ADHD aha set. All right, Danielle. So on climbing the walls, you talk a little bit about yourself. Today on ADHD AHA, we're going to talk about you. How does that make you feel?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
As a member of the team here at Understood and as an editor and getting to listen as this has been created, it's just I'm learning so much about myself as a woman with ADHD as I'm listening to these episodes. And I'm curious, what have you learned about yourself through the creation of this show?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah, I mean, your life surrounding the scenario, obviously, is extremely unique. But yeah, I understand. I mean, with ADHD, we speak to, I think we're past our 100th episode now. And it's just... Like, isn't this going to get repetitive? Isn't this going to get boring? But no, there's so many different ways that ADHD impacts people's lives. But there is that kind of that universality.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
You talk to so many people. experts and obviously to women with ADHD throughout the course of this. It's a six episode series. What conversation was particularly resonant to you? I know it's hard to choose amongst
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Mm hmm.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
It's really intimate, the show. It's so impressive to me the way that you tackle these really heady kind of scientific ideas, but then the humanity that's brought in with like, but this is really... a huge deal for the women it impacts.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Was there any conversation with an expert or anything like a fact that you learned along the way that just kind of blew your mind, that you had no idea before you started the work on this show?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
That's all I do on the show. I overshare. So you're in good company.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah. I mean, just the ground that you cover in six episodes is so phenomenal, right? Because it's a show about the rise of ADHD diagnoses in women, right? And why that happened. But it's also a history of ADHD, which is really interesting in and of itself. You add this gendered layer on top of it. You have personal stories. And then it's really about what's next. What do we actually need?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
If you could sum up, what do we need? What would you say?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Let's talk about your diagnosis. When were you diagnosed with ADHD?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
And it's a great start. And we need like 10,000 more of these because how many years of catch up are we doing? Exactly. Right. So one of the things that I appreciate about this show is that you tackle it from every angle, every possible angle that, say, an ADHD hater might have. Like, is it even real? Is it actually different in men and women? Is it being overdiagnosed?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Were we is this like an evolution related thing? Like so maybe it's not all ADHD haters, but like the really like the questions, the glossy questions.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
What was happening? Why did you seek out an evaluation?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Sometimes they're from haters and sometimes they're not. Right. And just done in such a balanced way. And I really appreciate that. What was the most interesting of all those questions to tackle or the most difficult?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
And it's a particularly hard one to grapple with because you – In this world that we live in, if you start talking about things as a trait that could be a favorable trait and then balance that with like, but this is like there's deficits here. This is a disorder. It's like you don't want to go so rosy that people don't take it seriously.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Right. Or that it's not something that needs to be reckoned with. Because my take is that my take that you spoon fed to me in the best possible way is that we need this research. We need to learn more about what's going on because it does matter.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
impact people's lives women's lives in unique and really difficult ways yeah so it's it's hard to tackle that and to give it credence give credence to the like there are positive things here and
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
You balance that nuance really nicely in the show. You know, ADHD diagnoses in women rising. Overall, this is a positive thing that there's more awareness about what's going on. And I'm just so grateful to what you've been doing. I mean, how long have you been working on the show?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Well, I'm so glad that you two found each other and that you're here doing the show. I'm so proud of ADHD AHA and what we do on the show. It's much easier to make a conversation show than it is to do what you're doing. So I just want to express that to the people who are listening or watching right now that like this is this is different.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
This is a very deep, very thoughtful, not that ADHD AHA isn't thoughtful, but body of work.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
That is a long time in the making because it needed to be a long time in the making because we had to get it right and we wanted it to be high quality. So I'm so excited for everybody to hear it. It's out now. Everybody go check it out, Climbing the Walls. Wait, do you want to talk about where the title of the show comes from before we sign off?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
I remember when you when you all landed on the title. I was like, that's it. That's perfect. Danielle, thank you for trusting me with your story. It really is helpful for our listeners to hear about it and to get to know you better because they're going to get to know you on climbing the walls. And so now they have a little bit more information.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Thanks for listening today. As always, if you want to share your own aha moment, email us at adhdaha at understood.org. I'd love to hear from you. And check out the show notes for this episode. We have more resources and links to anything we mentioned in the episode. This show is brought to you by understood.org.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org slash give. ADHD AHA is produced and edited by Jessamyn Mollie. Say hi, Jessamyn. Hi, everyone. And Margie DeSantis. Hey, hey. Samaya Adams is our supervising producer.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Video is produced by Calvin Knie and edited by Alyssa Shea. Our theme music was written by Justin D. Wright, who also mixes the show. Brianna Berry is our production director. Neil Drumming is our editorial director. From understood.org, our executive directors are Scott Koshear and Seth Melnick. And I'm your host, Laura Key. Thanks so much for listening.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah. And now here you are. Here I am. Tell me about the relationship and what was going on.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
I was feeling weird about how I acted. You telling that story, I hear you that it was like it was a big deal. And this visceral reaction has led you down this path of exploration. I've been in some breakups. That doesn't sound that bad to me.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah. So... Not an unusually flared up, dramatic breakup scenario, but for you in the context of your life.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
So you probably, you tell me, you felt like you went from zero to 100.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
But in reality, maybe it was 99 to 100 and you had been kind of holding it in.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
I mean, I've kind of been a little bit cheeky in my responses to you, but I do I hear you like it's really painful. I've just some of the situations that I've been in have been I look back and I do one of these like, oh, I don't even want to think about it because I'm so ashamed of the way that I it's mortifying. I'm like, I was so childish. I was so petulant. What was I doing with my body?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Why did I raise my voice like that? Why did I?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Well, didn't have the experience with those situations because you'd been bouncing around. Yeah.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Bouncing around and sounds like you travel a lot. And then I know from the show that you talked about that that was the first serious relationship you'd had or.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
This is ADHD AHA, a podcast where people share the moment when it finally clicked that they have ADHD. My name is Laura Key. I head up our editorial team here at understood.org. And as someone who's had my own ADHD AHA moment, I'll be your host. I am here today in person with documentarian and science journalist Danielle Elliott. Danielle, your work has been featured on
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
So tell me about the feeling that you get when you are on the go. Talk to me about this need to travel. It's something that you've mentioned a few times on Climbing the Walls. Tell me what that feels like and does it work out the way that you hope it will work out?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Do you think you would have discovered that you had ADHD sooner had you not been able to travel for your career or in your life?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Yeah. I think that's where I'm going with that statement. I'm just thinking about like if you can't scratch that itch of novelty through travel, would you have tried something else or would it have bubbled over and like it would have... It's such a good question.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Hold on.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Do you want a different one, by the way? I'm kind of liking this one.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Listeners of the show know that the very first episode I shared my own ADHD story and the impetus for my discovery and I had ADHD was also a breakup and a very, very dramatic breakup that left me kind of reeling. And like, I got to figure out what's going on with me. And it was a slow path to discovery. And I'm still I'm like one eighth of the way through it.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Is it too personal if I ask you? Have you been in a serious relationship since then?
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
HBO, NBC, The New York Times, ESPN. I know there's a long list. I don't have my computer in front of me, so I can't go on and on and on. But so excited to have you here today. Danielle is also the host and the journalist behind Understood's brand new podcast called Climbing the Walls. We're very excited. We're going to talk about that. Welcome, Danielle. Thanks for being in person with me today.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
In one of the episodes of Climbing the Walls, you share audio from, it was your sister's wedding. You were the maid of honor and there was like some self-deprecating humor about your relationship experience. I think you referred to yourself as like erratic or I actually wrote it down. See, I have a note card, like refusing to grow up.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Exactly. Talking with you is making me realize that there may be a lot more people listening with RSD, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, but they're not experiencing it because they're anticipating it and they're just avoiding it.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
So rejection sensitivity as a journalist. Let's talk more about that.
Climbing the Walls
Danielle’s story: A breakup, an intense reaction, and ADHD diagnosis (from “ADHD Aha!”)
Well, now that climbing the walls is out, you're here. You didn't hide. Congratulations. It's not out yet. When this goes up, it will have gone out.