Laura

So like halfway through that, we get engaged, then we get married and we're married for a year or two before we decide we want to have kids.

So we go, I get off of birth control.

I start trying to have kids with him and it just doesn't happen because

And he goes to see a fertility specialist.

I go as well.

They deem that there's nothing wrong with me, but there's something wrong with like his like sperm count, mobility, whatever.

I don't really know, but I know that it's just...

unlikely to happen naturally so they put me on like these meds that make me like extra fertile they put him on some kind of regimen so that he can be extra fertile and they're like go try it for a while and we try for a while and then i think that put a big strain on our marriage because we were trying and nothing and trying and nothing and trying and nothing so ultimately we were like we can't do this naturally so we have a couple of options in front of us we could go

IVF or a week ago adoption.

And at this point, were you blaming yourself?

Yes.

Okay.

The whole time I'm blaming myself.

Like this is because of what I did.

This is my fault.

And I am not as severely depressed as I was like for those first couple of months afterwards.

But...

Anything abortion related triggered me very, very badly.

So a commercial on TV, a plot point in a show is very common.

There would be like protests, random protests somewhere in town and we would drive by them.