Lost My Virginity to My Stepbrother and Got Pregnant
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What happens when you lose your virginity to your stepbrother?
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Why do people stay silent about traumatic family secrets for years?
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My name is Laura. I have a story about kind of my whole life, but really when it comes down to it, it is the story of me losing my virginity to my stepbrother. who was much older than me and ending up pregnant and how my decisions from that situation kind of shaped my life for many years to come and how I really internalized and allowed myself guilt for a really, really long time. And I think I'm at the point where I am in a much better place. I am not healed, but I'm like at terms and at peace with everything that happened. And it's very much something that happened and is behind me. So when it comes down to it, I did a lot of things that I regret, but in the end, it brought me to where I am now.
And I think too, you know, with a topic like this, I feel like It goes one of two ways. Like you either don't talk about it at all. And I'm sure there are some people that completely disassociate from it. Or you hold it in. You have that guilt. You know, because it's something that why would you want to talk about it, you know? Yeah. So the fact that you're able to speak out about it and I guess, you know, you'll get into it obviously for those listening. But the fact that you're able to openly talk about something traumatic that happened to you and it's so true. You know, when things happen to us, they do shape our lives. And while they don't define us, they might like set the tone for a big chunk. You know, so I think it's so amazing that you're willing and able now, you know, to speak out about that.
How does shame affect decision-making during an unplanned pregnancy?
And if there's anybody, because I always say there's so many people that can relate to things, different portions of things. And I think it's really, really important. So you should give yourself a lot of credit for that. Even though you're not, no one, I don't think anyone's ever completely healed because things are always happening in our life. That's part of life. But to get to a place that you're at is a pretty big step in a healing journey. And I.
Don't talk about this.
What does it feel like to regret an abortion immediately after it happens?
Right. So I recently shared this story with my therapist just to be able to say it again to make sure that I still remembered it and that I wasn't going to just forget big parts of it or totally break down in the middle of it or anything. But before I told her about it, it had been years since the last time I spoke about it.
Why do pregnancy jokes trigger panic years later?
And not a lot of people in my family know, very few people outside of my family know. Pretty much it's the people who were around me during the time that it happened. And then also like my husband and one or two other people.
What challenges do couples face with infertility after trauma?
So did you decide after just seeing the show? Yeah. Wow. That's incredible. I love that. That's what I tell people all the time. I'm like, that is another – there's so many full circle things about it, but it's things like that where it's like people that never have told their story or thought I never would, they – The people that come on here, they give so many people courage and confidence to own their story and not let it own them. And that's like – I feel like you are an incredible example. That's amazing. Yeah.
I mean, I've listened to – I found it on TikTok. Okay.
How can therapy help release guilt tied to reproductive trauma?
And that's kind of where I found a couple snippets. And then I was like, oh, there's a podcast. I'll listen to the podcast. So I've listened to a lot – like most of the episodes, honestly, in the podcast. And I was just listening to one on the way home from work one day. And I was like, I think I should –
Yeah.
I think I should try to share my story here.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What happens when you lose your virginity to your stepbrother?
0:00–0:23
2
Why do people stay silent about traumatic family secrets for years?
0:23–2:32
3
How does shame affect decision-making during an unplanned pregnancy?
2:32–3:00
4
What does it feel like to regret an abortion immediately after it happens?
3:00–3:28
5
Why do pregnancy jokes trigger panic years later?
3:28–3:46
6
What challenges do couples face with infertility after trauma?
3:46–4:18
7
How can therapy help release guilt tied to reproductive trauma?
4:18–5:05
8
What lessons can be learned from the adoption journey after trauma?
5:05–1:15:24