Lee Hopkins
speaker
252 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2026
last heard 25 Apr
Lee Hopkins’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.
Appearances
I want to make sure that, you know, you know, that's that's how I function.
If it's a close relationship with this person, I may have expectations for them to sit down, go away from me with that because we had talked already about this boundary.
I expect them to do more work and support me and figure out what it is that they need.
Like if I say I do not want any interruptions between 4 and 5, like in your example, I want the space to myself.
When turning off notifications and they come knock on my door at 4.15, I would feel upset.
And so it'd be hard for me to help them regulate because we are in a close relationship already.
I've said this, and there's an expectation that they do something else.
There'd be an expectation.
So in other relationships where maybe the expectation hasn't been set, maybe the words haven't been said already, I would, let's say an acquaintance or something, I would remind them.
And I would also, this is the way I think about it, is to help them realize that this is a strong boundary
And I would not be able to help them regulate.
I would not be able to help them regulate by spending my time.
As I think about it this way, I said between 4 and 5, I'm going to have some me time.
They come to me at 4.15 and they say, no, you can't have me time.
I don't like it.
And then you spend the next 45 minutes up to 5 o'clock trying to get them to go away.
because they're upset you lost all your me time and your boundary was crossed and they learned nothing so what i would do is not try and regulate people if i'm i'm dysregulated or if i the the fact that they got all your time is important to know so i would hold that boundary and then i would talk to them afterward
when both of us could be in a more calmer space because i know that emotions they feel like they're going to be around forever but they're not they last for just a moment if we do some breathing if we go right about it if we go do something else and come back to the specific topic in a calmer state we can then help each other because while one of us is spinning out the other one is
can be close to spinning out too and being just as frustrated so i don't recommend to try and co-regulate in the times where the boundary is crossed
both are probably frustrated at the height of their emotion it it's go to different corners and let's talk about what to do when that happens next time like calm down let's talk about what to do when that boundary is crossed but you you have to have that conversation and talk about what you can do in those situations like what your friend can do who has crossed their boundary what your close connection can do what your associate whatever they can do in times where the emotion is not running high
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