Leo Skeppi

Everything's been a transaction for me.

With that, I've felt fucked over by God.

So many times and for so long.

So I kind of see how that could happen because like you got to throw it at something bigger than people in life when it gets to a point of where you just wake up and feel betrayed.

It's like a betrayal has just been a constant thing in my life.

I'm feeling fucked over and feeling like I always get the short end of the stick.

I kind of like God showed me like a different route, which is unconditional love.

That's something that scares the shit out of me.

And I talked about it in the last episode where I said, feeling blessed is terrifying to me.

Like to acknowledge that I'm blessed.

is horrifying because if I'm blessed and I don't know why, I don't know how to maintain staying in God's favor.

I don't know how to not piss you off.

I don't know how to continue earning your blessing.

So it all kind of has just been like coming to a head in different little ways.

But since just entertaining the idea of,

of unconditional love and kind of like feeling it a little bit through the lens of how God does.

I feel like he showed it to me for a second.

Anything about me that I used to feel value from gone, wiped out.

Like I, last night,

had probably one of the worst nights I've had in a very long time.