Leslie John

So I became an over-giver, over-share, over-people pleaser because I wanted everyone to like me.

And I wanted to feel safe emotionally.

Yeah.

And then it took the last like seven years, like a swing of me learning how to create better boundaries, learning how to heal deeper, to not feel like I need everyone to like me or to constantly give to everyone.

And by doing that, by creating these boundaries, it kind of...

You know, as I've reclaimed that energy and I've put it into the people that I care about the most.

And it doesn't mean I don't speak to people if they reach out, but it's like, I learned to say no a lot more than when I was, you know, my twenties and early thirties.

I think I understood people because I felt very deeply and I didn't have any friends and I felt very empowered.

incapable of of being smart based on my results in school right right so since i felt deeply and i i allowed myself to be in a suffering state internally constantly yes oh like what's wrong with me why am i here what's the point of this life kind of like this ruminating thought and feeling of like i sucked i'm bad i'm wrong i'll never be as good as anyone in my class let alone in the world yeah

What's the point of being alive?

This type of rumination.

And I think because of that, I eventually got the courage to say, okay, let me reflect on why am I feeling this.

And let me try to learn.

If I can't learn in school, let me find ways to learn outside of school.

And that's human dynamics, human behavior.

And why do people think and feel and act and speak and walk and talk the way they do?

Let me just watch them in a reserve and try to learn from human dynamics and behavior.

And so as a, I guess as a Harvard business professor, what I'm hearing you say is that you think EQ is way more valuable than IQ.

Completely.

But most people in the world are trying to become smarter at something and accomplish more degrees and more credibility when that's not the answer.