Leslie John

I was like, great.

I didn't even remember this.

But clearly, that was like the second thing she said to me.

One of my favorite psychology studies and findings, it's called the spotlight effect, where we think that people notice what we do and care what we think and do more than they actually do.

which maybe sounds cynical, but I think it's liberating.

One of my best friends, the way he assuages me, he's like, nobody cares.

So in this case, there literally was a spotlight on her.

It was a videotape.

But she went down this road of like, think about it.

Okay, so there's this tape that exists.

It's as if for that to be true, for them to have seen her, they'd have to have watched all of the footage, right?

Exactly, yeah.

And the study that was a hilarious oldie but a goodie social psych study where they got...

One of them was they had people wear Barry Manilow t-shirts, like big blaring Barry Manilow t-shirts, which I love Barry Manilow, but maybe they were like uncool or something then.

And they forced them to wear it for the day and asked them how many people they thought would notice.

And of course, people wearing it think everybody's going to notice and they'll be a fool, but really nobody notices.

So we're really kind of self-absorbed in that way.

Completely.

Yeah, they kind of start to take...

secrets start to take a life of their own and they compound each other.