Lewis Black

So it's safe to say air travel is in rougher shape than RFK Jr. 's larynx. And all of these mishaps are no coincidence, since America treats its air traffic controllers like crap.

So it's safe to say air travel is in rougher shape than RFK Jr. 's larynx. And all of these mishaps are no coincidence, since America treats its air traffic controllers like crap.

How is this possible? There are 300 million people in this country and we can't find any more air traffic controllers? Listen, America, some of you need to help land airplanes. We can't all be TikTok influencers. And I was doing it first. What up, fam? Remember to smash that like button or I'll kill myself. Wow, three million likes. Joke's on you, I'm still gonna kill myself.

How is this possible? There are 300 million people in this country and we can't find any more air traffic controllers? Listen, America, some of you need to help land airplanes. We can't all be TikTok influencers. And I was doing it first. What up, fam? Remember to smash that like button or I'll kill myself. Wow, three million likes. Joke's on you, I'm still gonna kill myself.

So yes, it seems like air traffic controllers are in a wee bit of trouble. Luckily, inbred Freddie Mercury is here to help.

So yes, it seems like air traffic controllers are in a wee bit of trouble. Luckily, inbred Freddie Mercury is here to help.

Natürlich, mit all dem Chaos, könnt ihr auf dem Flugzeug verärgert sein. Aber es gibt viele unvergessliche Wege, um eure Angst zu lösen.

Natürlich, mit all dem Chaos, könnt ihr auf dem Flugzeug verärgert sein. Aber es gibt viele unvergessliche Wege, um eure Angst zu lösen.

Oh Gott, that is beyond dumb. I'm sure your seatmate would love to spend seven hours listening to you snap a rubber band and mumble, I'm okay, snap. Everything is fine, snap. No one else can smell my nervous diarrhea, snap, snap, snap. Personally, when I'm flying, I like to ease my anxiety by screaming, there's a bird in the engine, we're all gonna die. But hey, you do you.

Oh Gott, that is beyond dumb. I'm sure your seatmate would love to spend seven hours listening to you snap a rubber band and mumble, I'm okay, snap. Everything is fine, snap. No one else can smell my nervous diarrhea, snap, snap, snap. Personally, when I'm flying, I like to ease my anxiety by screaming, there's a bird in the engine, we're all gonna die. But hey, you do you.

Of course, if you're riddled with anxiety, why not distract yourself by watching my latest TikTok?

Of course, if you're riddled with anxiety, why not distract yourself by watching my latest TikTok?

The Oscars are just around the corner. That magical night when America's finest actors seethed with rage while British people pretending to be Americans steal their awards. And if you're not excited about the Academy Awards, welcome to the club. They suck. For years, the Oscars broadcast has drawn fewer people than the strip aerobics class I teach.

The Oscars are just around the corner. That magical night when America's finest actors seethed with rage while British people pretending to be Americans steal their awards. And if you're not excited about the Academy Awards, welcome to the club. They suck. For years, the Oscars broadcast has drawn fewer people than the strip aerobics class I teach.

It's exercise, and it helps me unlock my sensuality. So this year, the producers are trying to get us watching again in ways that range from the idiotic to the insane.

It's exercise, and it helps me unlock my sensuality. So this year, the producers are trying to get us watching again in ways that range from the idiotic to the insane.

You can't cut out the men and women who work behind the scenes. Without them on stage, the Oscars are just awards for Hollywood's greatest sex criminals. How sad is it that the Academy has decided that the reason people don't want to watch its award show is that there are too many awards? Recognizing excellence through awards is the whole point. Without that, the Oscars are totally meaningless.

You can't cut out the men and women who work behind the scenes. Without them on stage, the Oscars are just awards for Hollywood's greatest sex criminals. How sad is it that the Academy has decided that the reason people don't want to watch its award show is that there are too many awards? Recognizing excellence through awards is the whole point. Without that, the Oscars are totally meaningless.

Also, with that, the Oscars are totally meaningless. It's especially unfair not to broadcast the makeup and hairstyle Oscars. Those people are the backbone of our industry. I have a whole team of people working hours to make me this beautiful. Now, if people simply don't care about the little awards, then sure, cutting them will make the show more appealing.

Also, with that, the Oscars are totally meaningless. It's especially unfair not to broadcast the makeup and hairstyle Oscars. Those people are the backbone of our industry. I have a whole team of people working hours to make me this beautiful. Now, if people simply don't care about the little awards, then sure, cutting them will make the show more appealing.