Lewis Black

Yes, global warming means you can cook right in your car, which is great news for my new restaurant, Louis Black's Hyundai Sonata chimichangas. The secret ingredient is wiper fluid. So yes, as we've known for a while, every year the earth is getting hotter and hotter like me and Paul Rudd.

Yes, global warming means you can cook right in your car, which is great news for my new restaurant, Louis Black's Hyundai Sonata chimichangas. The secret ingredient is wiper fluid. So yes, as we've known for a while, every year the earth is getting hotter and hotter like me and Paul Rudd.

And that's why we need every single government body working to fix the problem instead of jerking us around with elementary school science projects.

And that's why we need every single government body working to fix the problem instead of jerking us around with elementary school science projects.

We're all going to die. Thanks, National Weather Service. Now, we all know what it would look like if a pack of Skittles got its period. So quick safety tip. OK, if you're going to leave your kid in a hot car, remember to grab the crayons first. It's hard to know whether to be more worried about the record heat or the record stupidity.

We're all going to die. Thanks, National Weather Service. Now, we all know what it would look like if a pack of Skittles got its period. So quick safety tip. OK, if you're going to leave your kid in a hot car, remember to grab the crayons first. It's hard to know whether to be more worried about the record heat or the record stupidity.

But at least when the earth finally explodes, we'll be eating delicious dashboard banana bread along the way. Thomas Jefferson was right when he famously said presidential elections suck ass. Hell, I have to stay drunk from April to November just to get through it, which is two weeks longer than I'm normally drunk.

But at least when the earth finally explodes, we'll be eating delicious dashboard banana bread along the way. Thomas Jefferson was right when he famously said presidential elections suck ass. Hell, I have to stay drunk from April to November just to get through it, which is two weeks longer than I'm normally drunk.

But this election sucks extra ass because it might have huge consequences for our country. And it all comes down to turning out one crucial voting block. Young people. Sticky, disgusting young people. Now, it used to be that all you needed to turn out young voters was a beloved musing star threatening to kill people. God, that was fun, wasn't it?

But this election sucks extra ass because it might have huge consequences for our country. And it all comes down to turning out one crucial voting block. Young people. Sticky, disgusting young people. Now, it used to be that all you needed to turn out young voters was a beloved musing star threatening to kill people. God, that was fun, wasn't it?

Can you believe Pete Diddy turned out to be an alleged sexual abuser? And here I thought he was just a harmless murderer. But these days, if candidates want to reach young people, there's really only one way. Social media influences.

Can you believe Pete Diddy turned out to be an alleged sexual abuser? And here I thought he was just a harmless murderer. But these days, if candidates want to reach young people, there's really only one way. Social media influences.

This is what it's come to. Our election rests with the same people trying to sell you diarrhea infused beauty cream. And if you're unfamiliar with the influencer culture, here's a quick peek. Move over, Fred Astaire. Captain Frito-Lay is in the building. In the old days, doing a karate kick at 7-Eleven didn't make you a millionaire. It made you a meth head in Florida.

This is what it's come to. Our election rests with the same people trying to sell you diarrhea infused beauty cream. And if you're unfamiliar with the influencer culture, here's a quick peek. Move over, Fred Astaire. Captain Frito-Lay is in the building. In the old days, doing a karate kick at 7-Eleven didn't make you a millionaire. It made you a meth head in Florida.

But if the campaigns are focused on courting these influencers, surely you'd think they must be getting some primo content in return.

But if the campaigns are focused on courting these influencers, surely you'd think they must be getting some primo content in return.

Theater kids are losing their virginity at the DNC? Well, there's hope for you yet, Cory Booker. By the way, if anyone got dicked down at the DNC, it's Joe Biden. But don't worry, Democrats. There are dipshit TikToks for conservatives, too. Whoa, what the was that? That video makes me pro-gun just so I can deep throat one in the bathtub.

Theater kids are losing their virginity at the DNC? Well, there's hope for you yet, Cory Booker. By the way, if anyone got dicked down at the DNC, it's Joe Biden. But don't worry, Democrats. There are dipshit TikToks for conservatives, too. Whoa, what the was that? That video makes me pro-gun just so I can deep throat one in the bathtub.

And look, I appreciate shitty content just as much as the next person. I watch both seasons of MILF Manor and the behind-the-scenes featurettes. It doesn't mean I'm going to let the MILFs tell me who to vote for. But as TikTok stars gain political clout, both camps are now planning entire campaign stops around meeting them, like when Trump and Logan Paul had this meeting of the minds.

And look, I appreciate shitty content just as much as the next person. I watch both seasons of MILF Manor and the behind-the-scenes featurettes. It doesn't mean I'm going to let the MILFs tell me who to vote for. But as TikTok stars gain political clout, both camps are now planning entire campaign stops around meeting them, like when Trump and Logan Paul had this meeting of the minds.