Lewis Howes

And attraction is largely governed by testosterone and estrogen, sex hormones.

Men and women both have both.

By the way, I mean, men have both and sort of women, men obviously have more testosterone, women have more estrogen.

And that's how you spark, which is why no matter how emancipated and modern you are, you still want to look nice.

And the reason is because that's what actually sparks in the brain of somebody that you want to connect to.

Interest.

The second part is where it gets really complicated and interesting.

This is when the neurochemistry actually really starts to flow in terms of noradrenaline, norepinephrine, and dopamine.

And that's anticipation of reward and euphoria.

So when you're kind of interested in somebody, you have this undue interest in like, I think I just got a text from her.

It's a text.

Who cares?

You asked, want to get dinner?

and you're waiting for the next.

That's because your neurochemistry is really, really hopped up.

You've got high levels of norepinephrine, which is a stress hormone, and dopamine, which is anticipation of reward.

Then when you're falling in love, this weird thing happens, which is that your serotonin tanks

by like a third.

Now, when serotonin is low in the synapse, that provokes the feeling of clinical depression.

And that starts this process of ruminative sadness.