Lewis Howes

Nobody changes because you tell them to.

Why?

Because it triggers the primary fear that we all have, which is the fear we're not enough.

Yeah.

And ultimately then we won't be loved.

So if you try to argue with anyone or even help them by saying, yeah, oh, I've got a great way that you can get out of this problem.

What most people hear isn't, oh, here's somebody trying to help.

What most people hear is, oh, I'm not good enough doing what I'm doing now and you're trying to fix me.

Everybody will push back against that.

And family member or stranger or work colleague doesn't matter because it triggers that primary fear, which is the fear we're not enough.

And most people do almost anything to avoid that, including stay in their victim story so that, you know, at least they have some certainty that they know how, you know, how bad things are.

Yeah.

Wow.

Well, again, I'll give you some context for the audience as well.

So people know what happened.

Yeah, yeah.

I was in a litigation, a business deal with a multi-billion dollar company, arguing over a multi-million dollar deal that we'd done years before.

And it was a contractual dispute.

I thought they were just bullying me.

I didn't want to stand for it.