Lewis Howes

Correct.

Correct.

Yes. It's the same thing with happiness. Like you're chasing it and you think that if you achieve something, you're going to get it. And you also, or at least I, felt the most loved. when I was little, when I was achieving something. And I think that most parents kind of fall into this camp.

Yes. It's the same thing with happiness. Like you're chasing it and you think that if you achieve something, you're going to get it. And you also, or at least I, felt the most loved. when I was little, when I was achieving something. And I think that most parents kind of fall into this camp.

And it's really interesting to write a book about this and sort of trace back how we go from being little teeny babies that would crawl up to a mirror and put our hands up and kiss ourselves and love the sight of ourselves to being a self-loathing adult that stands in front of a mirror and either ignores or criticizes your very existence.

And it's really interesting to write a book about this and sort of trace back how we go from being little teeny babies that would crawl up to a mirror and put our hands up and kiss ourselves and love the sight of ourselves to being a self-loathing adult that stands in front of a mirror and either ignores or criticizes your very existence.

And I believe that a lot of this has to do with the fact that so much of what you learn as a kid is if you do what I tell you to do, then I'll like you, then I'll love you. And so much of your existence becomes complying, fitting in, not making people angry. You learn how to sort of go in and out of spaces, belong to groups, make sure people like you and you stop complying.

And I believe that a lot of this has to do with the fact that so much of what you learn as a kid is if you do what I tell you to do, then I'll like you, then I'll love you. And so much of your existence becomes complying, fitting in, not making people angry. You learn how to sort of go in and out of spaces, belong to groups, make sure people like you and you stop complying.

focusing on how you were born, which is looking in a mirror and liking yourself. So my formula for being somebody that was worthy of love is, well, if I'm accomplishing all this stuff, then I'm lovable. If this person over here that I love loves me back, then I'm lovable. If somebody likes me, then I'm lovable. Notice where all the sources of love were coming from? Outside.

focusing on how you were born, which is looking in a mirror and liking yourself. So my formula for being somebody that was worthy of love is, well, if I'm accomplishing all this stuff, then I'm lovable. If this person over here that I love loves me back, then I'm lovable. If somebody likes me, then I'm lovable. Notice where all the sources of love were coming from? Outside.

but I never really understood how do you learn how to put yourself first? How do you learn how to love yourself, Lewis? How do you do that? We know we need to, but the question is how?

but I never really understood how do you learn how to put yourself first? How do you learn how to love yourself, Lewis? How do you do that? We know we need to, but the question is how?

Okay, so this is kind of my brand of advice. It's gotta be incredibly stupid on the surface. It's gotta be so simple, it's really implausible that it works. And once you start unpacking it, it has to have a crazy bananas amount of scientific proof and real life proof in people's lives. to prove why it works.

Okay, so this is kind of my brand of advice. It's gotta be incredibly stupid on the surface. It's gotta be so simple, it's really implausible that it works. And once you start unpacking it, it has to have a crazy bananas amount of scientific proof and real life proof in people's lives. to prove why it works.

So I'll tell you the story first behind the high five habit, because I did not set out and go like, okay, I've written the five second rule book. I need to come up with another five. I have been toiling away with what book to write for nearly five years. So it's been five years since I've had a book in print. And I had this random morning where there's a lot going on in my life.

So I'll tell you the story first behind the high five habit, because I did not set out and go like, okay, I've written the five second rule book. I need to come up with another five. I have been toiling away with what book to write for nearly five years. So it's been five years since I've had a book in print. And I had this random morning where there's a lot going on in my life.

I'm not going to get into it because it's a boring story, but I was just having a really hard time in my life. And I woke up, got out of bed. I made my bed like I always do. I walked into the bathroom. I'm standing there brushing my teeth. And I catch my reflection in the mirror. And my first thought is, God, you look like hell. Seriously.

I'm not going to get into it because it's a boring story, but I was just having a really hard time in my life. And I woke up, got out of bed. I made my bed like I always do. I walked into the bathroom. I'm standing there brushing my teeth. And I catch my reflection in the mirror. And my first thought is, God, you look like hell. Seriously.

And I know women in particular can relate to this, but what a lot of people don't realize is you guys are incredibly hard on yourselves too. And so as I go, God, you look like hell. I start then cataloging all of the things that are wrong with my appearance. I'm like, your gray hair is coming in. You've got stripes on your neck. One of your boobs is lower than the other.

And I know women in particular can relate to this, but what a lot of people don't realize is you guys are incredibly hard on yourselves too. And so as I go, God, you look like hell. I start then cataloging all of the things that are wrong with my appearance. I'm like, your gray hair is coming in. You've got stripes on your neck. One of your boobs is lower than the other.