Liliana

They were like, you probably sat there on the bus going like, yeah, that's a good lie.

I'll go with that one, huh?

And I was like, I'm telling the truth, dude.

Like I'm telling the fucking truth.

And yeah, I got beaten pretty badly for that.

Yeah, I just find it really odd that you grilled me for like 20 minutes, but you asked that other girl one time, another white girl that she brought in.

I was just internalizing so much.

I felt like a freaking black hole on the inside all the time.

All the time.

Just something's wrong with me.

I don't know why other people treat me this way, but they do.

And I'm turning myself inside out.

I'm praying to God.

This God that I'm being told exists and is watching me all the time.

I'm asking him to just do whatever you need to do to make other people treat me nicely.

If I have to sacrifice something, just tell me what it is.

I just, I hated it.

Or I was just like, you know, I would literally pray to just die in my sleep.

Like I'm like eight years old, seven, eight years old praying to just die in my sleep because I'm so unhappy.

To cope with my emotions, like because I wasn't allowed to express anger, especially like anger, big no-no.