Lindsay Addario

To be back in New York and to be sitting in a conference room with – surrounded by a bunch of editors and to see on my BlackBerry at the time, to look over and see that they had been killed in Libya as like the headline of an email.

I couldn't hold myself together.

Everything sort of came crashing down on me.

And I think it was because, you know, in those moments I asked myself those questions of like, why?

Why?

Why did we survive and they didn't?

You know, why?

Who decides these things in life?

And there are no answers, of course.

But it just felt like –

The proximity, my own proximity to death became so clear in that moment.

Maybe I just tucked it aside and just thought, okay, you know, like I tell myself every time I'm in a near-death experience, maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

I don't know.

I think they play off one another.

I think a few things are happening.

I think, yes, journalists are routinely killed and targeted with impunity.

I think that no one – very few people are ever held accountable for killing journalists, although there have been obviously people like the Committee to Protect Journalists.

There are organizations that very – they take –

incredible, extraordinary measures to document every single death of a journalist and make people aware of the fact that this is a profession that is increasingly dangerous.

But I also think that the rhetoric of fake news and the rhetoric against the truth and journalism itself is