Lindsay Addario

My head is always where I'm not.

Hi, Lucas.

Well, I mean, it plays absolutely like our lives, you know.

I mean, the thing is, this is a constant negotiation and a constant give and take in our lives.

And Paul and I have those conversations routinely because what, you know, I try to line up these stories.

What happens in most of the places I cover is that they are extremely hard to access and

So it's not like you can just fly into the heart of a war and, you know, shoot for 10 days and leave.

Like, often it takes me days, if not a week, to actually get to a story and then I have to work.

And so, you know, a lot of that is I'll sign up to be the mystery reader at school and I go and read to Alfred's class and then I have to cancel because I get stuck in the Darien Gap or everyone always says, do you FaceTime with your kids when you're gone?

And

Actually, I find it almost harder on them because then they're just reminded of the fact that I'm not there.

And so, you know, it's just so – there's so much packed into that clip that you played because it's stuff I've been grappling with since I became a parent.

And it kills me that my kids don't have just a normal mother who can be present all the time.

And that's why I really didn't think I would ever have children because I just didn't think this profession would allow me –

the ability to sort of be able to stop and have kids.

And it wasn't until I met Paul and Paul said, you know, I will be the full-time parent and you can continue doing your work.

So it was sort of like our prenup, you know, it's like, I don't want money.

I want my freedom and I want my time to be able to work.

That's all I wanted out of

My marriage and when we talked about looking forward was like we just realized we love each other.