Lindsey Carnick
speaker
315 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Lindsey Carnick’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So when it comes to cultivating a safe space for discussions about
finances and money and goals and priorities, the same rules apply as every other safe space.
Yes, your partner needs to know that firstly, you're on their side, that this is not an adversarial engagement.
Yes, this is your partner, not your opponent.
And often on any of these topics, when we already have the sense that there's a disagreement or we're not on the same page, or maybe one person is having some
severe doubts or concerns that the other person isn't we sort of default into this me and you mentality and i'm over here on this side of the volleyball net and you're over there on that side of volleyball net and this is oppositional you better believe me and i'm gonna spike this ball across the net with enough force to make sure you get it right and it's there's gonna be a winner and there's gonna be a loser and i don't want to be the loser so i guess i gotta be the winner yes
And so when people come out the gate with that sort of win-lose mentality, obviously you've already lost the team mentality.
When you're on a team, you're not trying to beat your teammates, right?
That's completely antithetical to being on a team.
You are allegedly working together for a common purpose and understood goal.
So taking a minute or anything else before you get into even the generalities, let alone the weeds of what you're talking about,
And reminding yourself, looking lovingly at this person and reminding yourself, this is my teammate.
This person is on my side.
And just as on any team, there may be
disagreement about how to get the ball in the net, right?
And people may be advocating for one strategy over another or one play over another or one piece of equipment over another.
But everybody has a shared goal.
And there's a shared understanding that this person next to you on this team wants the same thing you do at the end of the day.
And reminding yourself that this is not an opponent situation.
is a really important first step to creating any safe space.
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