Lisa Bilyeu

And so I realized over time that I cannot rely on him in that way.

Now, imagine I build my validation on how he greets me every day.

I think a partner is super important.

If he comes home and he's like, babe, you're amazing.

Having a loving partner that supports you and uplifts you, I wouldn't trade that for the world.

You're such a great wife.

Look at all this, right?

On those days, I feel amazing.

My husband is the most important thing to me in my life.

On the days that he feels terrible, that he hasn't slept well, that shit's hit the fan, work isn't going well, he's had employees, people have quit.

I would burn my company to the ground before ever doing anything detrimental to my relationship.

So I'm very clear.

And he comes home and he doesn't even notice that he's got his food cooked.

But even in saying that, it isn't fair on him.

He doesn't even notice that I've cooked and cleaned.

And it's not fair on me that my validation and identity is built on anything else other than something that I choose to.

Then I interpret that as my validation of maybe I haven't done a good job.

But it's all reliant on him and what he does.

And once I realized that, I spoke to him about it because sometimes he's just like, but I like being your knight in shining armor.

And so I realized over time that I cannot rely on him in that way.