Lisa Bilyeu

But he actually never asked me to in the first place.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, I made sure that I didn't blame Tom and I needed to make sure it was true before I said it. But the truth was he didn't force me. The truth is I never said I was unhappy. Like all of these things I had to be very honest about of where my actions actually contributed to where I was. I actually interviewed recently a guy called Jefferson Fisher and he- Oh yeah, I like Jefferson.

Yeah, I made sure that I didn't blame Tom and I needed to make sure it was true before I said it. But the truth was he didn't force me. The truth is I never said I was unhappy. Like all of these things I had to be very honest about of where my actions actually contributed to where I was. I actually interviewed recently a guy called Jefferson Fisher and he- Oh yeah, I like Jefferson.

Okay, so he even said, when you're having a tough conversation, instead of saying, I want to talk to you, right, that makes it very personal, you say the room. So you're saying, I want this room to be a safe space where I can be transparent and honest. Are you comfortable with that? And so you're saying it's the room instead of them. You're then getting their buy-in to say yes.

Okay, so he even said, when you're having a tough conversation, instead of saying, I want to talk to you, right, that makes it very personal, you say the room. So you're saying, I want this room to be a safe space where I can be transparent and honest. Are you comfortable with that? And so you're saying it's the room instead of them. You're then getting their buy-in to say yes.

And you're then saying, I don't need you to fix it. I need this to be a place where you can listen. And so you're telling them what to expect. So learning the language to communicate with your partners so you don't trigger them so that you both can have an emotionally sober conversation, I think ends up being the most fruitful thing that we can do.

And you're then saying, I don't need you to fix it. I need this to be a place where you can listen. And so you're telling them what to expect. So learning the language to communicate with your partners so you don't trigger them so that you both can have an emotionally sober conversation, I think ends up being the most fruitful thing that we can do.

That's so good. That's so simple and so good. And one other thing that you just mentioned that was almost subtlety, it takes out the absolutes of like, you never do this for me. Because I think that when you're trying to make an effort and then someone says you don't ever, it's kind of like, well, why am I even bothering? And so if you say we, there was no absolutes in the we.

That's so good. That's so simple and so good. And one other thing that you just mentioned that was almost subtlety, it takes out the absolutes of like, you never do this for me. Because I think that when you're trying to make an effort and then someone says you don't ever, it's kind of like, well, why am I even bothering? And so if you say we, there was no absolutes in the we.

Yeah. So you mentioned earlier about how sometimes we can misunderstand or miscommunicate and we think one thing is one thing, but actually it's the other. So the compromise versus the sacrifice in your words.

Yeah. So you mentioned earlier about how sometimes we can misunderstand or miscommunicate and we think one thing is one thing, but actually it's the other. So the compromise versus the sacrifice in your words.

Yeah. Amazing. I actually have a few more because I was like, OK, what are the things that get us trapped in a relationship? Going back to like the settling thing and why we either choose the wrong person or we end up staying in a relationship that isn't right. And there were a few things that I think that we get confused.

Yeah. Amazing. I actually have a few more because I was like, OK, what are the things that get us trapped in a relationship? Going back to like the settling thing and why we either choose the wrong person or we end up staying in a relationship that isn't right. And there were a few things that I think that we get confused.

So I've written a few down that I'd love to talk about. So actually, let's start with love and lust. So how would you look at the difference between love and lust and how if someone's listening right now, can they decipher which one they're in?

So I've written a few down that I'd love to talk about. So actually, let's start with love and lust. So how would you look at the difference between love and lust and how if someone's listening right now, can they decipher which one they're in?

That's so good. What's interesting, I've been with someone for 25 years, we've never once had makeup sex. I'm just thinking about that.

That's so good. What's interesting, I've been with someone for 25 years, we've never once had makeup sex. I'm just thinking about that.

Yeah, that's almost like actually because once we've like kind of come to an agreement, I'm still so raw. And so I just need to be cuddled. I need sweetness. Like the last thing I want is like crazy sex.