Lisa Miller

Yeah.

Yeah.

Beyond just, like, I want to leave the party at 10.

You know, that's, in a way, that's easy.

Like, do I want to have a sexual relationship with my husband?

Do I want to leave my corporate job?

Do I want to, like, these are much bigger questions.

I mean, one psychotherapist said to me, you know, romantic partnerships, marriages are invested in stability and everything staying the same.

And so we have books about what happens when you're going through the death of a parent or when you move or when you have a baby.

Like, these are gigantic life changes.

But we haven't spoken about what happens when one partner's body completely changes and their feelings about their body completely change.

But I talked to a lot of couples, and what I concluded after speaking to them was that the couples that seem to manage it

best were couples who weren't rigid in their expectations of one another.

What do you mean?

What I mean is you can't get too committed to, like, we are the people who have dinner.

I wasn't sure what you were going to say.

You can't be too committed to, like,

I make this lasagna and he loves to eat it.

We have two margaritas on Fridays with the so-and-sos.

Those kinds of rituals, which are very reliable and very defining for couples, especially if you've been together for a really long time,