Lisa Neff
speaker
151 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2026
last heard 2 Apr
Lisa Neff’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 2.
Appearances
We start to have a recognition that relationships are really the heart of it all.
And so that is something we really prioritize.
The problem is...
those processes of avoiding or minimizing those everyday tensions can be difficult in those early stages of a relationship.
There's something known as the relational turbulence model, which suggests that as we're establishing a committed relationship, basically two people are merging their lives together, right?
They're becoming more interdependent.
They're having to coordinate their daily routines and compromise on their daily activities.
And that's an opportunity where tensions are
more likely to crop up.
And so it is a time in a relationship where it can be especially hard to avoid or minimize tensions, unlike in longer standing relationships when you've been with that person for decades, you really get good at picking your battles, you know what to expect.
In those new relationships, you're still getting to know each other and it can be harder to avoid those landmines and avoid those tensions on a day-to-day basis.
I mean, I guess it follows that dating is exhausting at any age.
Because when I have been single and I just enter a relationship, I don't know, all the new stuff you got to do, all the stress of it, all the worry, it really sweeps you up.
It really is exhausting.
I'd like to think that wouldn't happen for older folks, but I guess it does.
Yeah, so it does happen for, it happens for everybody.
Relationships are hard for everybody, no matter the age.
The issue that we found in our research is that because older adults are so strongly motivated to avoid negativity and to maintain those harmonious relationships, when they have difficulty doing that, such as
When you're just getting to know someone in the early stages of a new relationship, that inability to avoid those tensions can take a greater toll on older adults than it does on younger adults.
Is it because stress kind of hits the body, hits the mind harder as we age and new relationships, it would seem, are inherently stressful?
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