Listener (Aaron)

Totally. She might meet him with compassion and acceptance, which is what I hope she does, especially because this was not his fault. He had nothing to do with the abuse. And it's obviously been so painful for him to live with what happened. But she could also meet him with any number of reactions, anger, fear, disappointment. She might just be weirded out. He can't predict that perfectly.

And I'm sure that's terrifying.

And I'm sure that's terrifying.

And I'm sure that's terrifying.

Yes. And actually, he touched on this theme in a different way when he said, I hate to think that this thing I had no control over could doom my love life.

Yes. And actually, he touched on this theme in a different way when he said, I hate to think that this thing I had no control over could doom my love life.

Yes. And actually, he touched on this theme in a different way when he said, I hate to think that this thing I had no control over could doom my love life.

Again, to your point, I think that speaks to just how powerful shame can be.

Again, to your point, I think that speaks to just how powerful shame can be.

Again, to your point, I think that speaks to just how powerful shame can be.

Yeah, there's no greater form of control than controlling how other people see us.

Yeah, there's no greater form of control than controlling how other people see us.

Yeah, there's no greater form of control than controlling how other people see us.

Which might also be part of the urgency that he now feels, or at least I hope it is. You know, if having a child is suddenly making him realize that he doesn't want to hide this big thing from his partner, then I actually think that's a good thing. And I hope he follows that impulse. And I hope he taps into the courage to trust her with this information because it is very important.

Which might also be part of the urgency that he now feels, or at least I hope it is. You know, if having a child is suddenly making him realize that he doesn't want to hide this big thing from his partner, then I actually think that's a good thing. And I hope he follows that impulse. And I hope he taps into the courage to trust her with this information because it is very important.

Which might also be part of the urgency that he now feels, or at least I hope it is. You know, if having a child is suddenly making him realize that he doesn't want to hide this big thing from his partner, then I actually think that's a good thing. And I hope he follows that impulse. And I hope he taps into the courage to trust her with this information because it is very important.

By protecting this part of his story, he's depriving himself of the opportunity to find out if this history with his dad is in fact as shameful and as dangerous as he suspects it is.

By protecting this part of his story, he's depriving himself of the opportunity to find out if this history with his dad is in fact as shameful and as dangerous as he suspects it is.

By protecting this part of his story, he's depriving himself of the opportunity to find out if this history with his dad is in fact as shameful and as dangerous as he suspects it is.

He's also depriving her of the opportunity to appreciate a very significant part of his life, this trauma he's been through, and I'm sure it was a trauma for him, even if he wasn't the primary victim, and to accept this part of his story, which, frankly, he deserves, too.