Listener (Aaron)

He's also depriving her of the opportunity to appreciate a very significant part of his life, this trauma he's been through, and I'm sure it was a trauma for him, even if he wasn't the primary victim, and to accept this part of his story, which, frankly, he deserves, too.

He's also depriving her of the opportunity to appreciate a very significant part of his life, this trauma he's been through, and I'm sure it was a trauma for him, even if he wasn't the primary victim, and to accept this part of his story, which, frankly, he deserves, too.

That's a good point because this might reverberate in the way that they meet certain aspects of their child, right? We can only be as empathetic to other people, especially our children, as we are to ourselves. So this matters in a few big ways.

That's a good point because this might reverberate in the way that they meet certain aspects of their child, right? We can only be as empathetic to other people, especially our children, as we are to ourselves. So this matters in a few big ways.

That's a good point because this might reverberate in the way that they meet certain aspects of their child, right? We can only be as empathetic to other people, especially our children, as we are to ourselves. So this matters in a few big ways.

I really love that script. And by doing that, you're also giving your girlfriend all of the information she needs to know where you are with all of this, what to make of it, how she feels. Because, look, you cannot secure her empathy by trying to manage things in a way that, you know. makes her identify with you.

I really love that script. And by doing that, you're also giving your girlfriend all of the information she needs to know where you are with all of this, what to make of it, how she feels. Because, look, you cannot secure her empathy by trying to manage things in a way that, you know. makes her identify with you.

I really love that script. And by doing that, you're also giving your girlfriend all of the information she needs to know where you are with all of this, what to make of it, how she feels. Because, look, you cannot secure her empathy by trying to manage things in a way that, you know. makes her identify with you.

I think that might be another subtle form of control, but by letting her in on why this part of your life has been so painful to talk about, by being vulnerable about everything that your dad brings up for you, I think you will be inviting the best parts of her to this conversation and she gets to decide how to respond.

I think that might be another subtle form of control, but by letting her in on why this part of your life has been so painful to talk about, by being vulnerable about everything that your dad brings up for you, I think you will be inviting the best parts of her to this conversation and she gets to decide how to respond.

I think that might be another subtle form of control, but by letting her in on why this part of your life has been so painful to talk about, by being vulnerable about everything that your dad brings up for you, I think you will be inviting the best parts of her to this conversation and she gets to decide how to respond.

But all that said, you have to go into this conversation understanding that you will never know 100% what you're going to get back. You asked us whether this news will make her see you in a different light, whether she's going to lump you in with your dad. And my answer to that is, I don't know. There's no way to know. I really hope that she meets you with empathy, curiosity, understanding.

But all that said, you have to go into this conversation understanding that you will never know 100% what you're going to get back. You asked us whether this news will make her see you in a different light, whether she's going to lump you in with your dad. And my answer to that is, I don't know. There's no way to know. I really hope that she meets you with empathy, curiosity, understanding.

But all that said, you have to go into this conversation understanding that you will never know 100% what you're going to get back. You asked us whether this news will make her see you in a different light, whether she's going to lump you in with your dad. And my answer to that is, I don't know. There's no way to know. I really hope that she meets you with empathy, curiosity, understanding.

And if your relationship is as strong as you say it is, I think it's extremely likely that she will. So try to go into this with hope, with confidence. But Part of that confidence is knowing that there are good reasons to tell her about what your father did, even if you don't get the exact response that you're hoping for. It's her job to listen to your story with compassion.

And if your relationship is as strong as you say it is, I think it's extremely likely that she will. So try to go into this with hope, with confidence. But Part of that confidence is knowing that there are good reasons to tell her about what your father did, even if you don't get the exact response that you're hoping for. It's her job to listen to your story with compassion.

And if your relationship is as strong as you say it is, I think it's extremely likely that she will. So try to go into this with hope, with confidence. But Part of that confidence is knowing that there are good reasons to tell her about what your father did, even if you don't get the exact response that you're hoping for. It's her job to listen to your story with compassion.

It's also your job to welcome her response, whatever it is, with openness. It's a tough story to take in. It has some very big implications for your relationship, for how you guys are going to parent your child, for the family that she's entering, for the rules that you guys are going to establish, for the new family you're creating. There is... a lot going on for your partner as well.

It's also your job to welcome her response, whatever it is, with openness. It's a tough story to take in. It has some very big implications for your relationship, for how you guys are going to parent your child, for the family that she's entering, for the rules that you guys are going to establish, for the new family you're creating. There is... a lot going on for your partner as well.

It's also your job to welcome her response, whatever it is, with openness. It's a tough story to take in. It has some very big implications for your relationship, for how you guys are going to parent your child, for the family that she's entering, for the rules that you guys are going to establish, for the new family you're creating. There is... a lot going on for your partner as well.