Listener (Aaron)

I mean, again, with respect for this meditation practice, which does sound like it's been very powerful for you, and I'm glad to hear that. It's just not something I would personally point to and say, I think we can be confident that dad is safe for our child. Now he's healed. We can bring our family around him. I just don't know.

The other side of this coin is the process that you went through. You can't quite articulate how your dad has changed, so I guess I just want to ask, is it possible that you might have let your father off the hook a little too easily for what he did, or at least jumped to forgiveness rather quickly?

The other side of this coin is the process that you went through. You can't quite articulate how your dad has changed, so I guess I just want to ask, is it possible that you might have let your father off the hook a little too easily for what he did, or at least jumped to forgiveness rather quickly?

The other side of this coin is the process that you went through. You can't quite articulate how your dad has changed, so I guess I just want to ask, is it possible that you might have let your father off the hook a little too easily for what he did, or at least jumped to forgiveness rather quickly?

It does. Or maybe he just fast-forwarded through some stuff, which I guess that's basically the same thing, but... The piece of this that's most significant to me is that he tends to be super forgiving in order to avoid harboring resentment. That's the thing.

It does. Or maybe he just fast-forwarded through some stuff, which I guess that's basically the same thing, but... The piece of this that's most significant to me is that he tends to be super forgiving in order to avoid harboring resentment. That's the thing.

It does. Or maybe he just fast-forwarded through some stuff, which I guess that's basically the same thing, but... The piece of this that's most significant to me is that he tends to be super forgiving in order to avoid harboring resentment. That's the thing.

Yeah. I mean, harboring resentment toward a parent, especially for something as awful as sexual abuse, is obviously very painful. It might also be appropriate. I'm not saying that he should walk around with a burning rage toward his father for the rest of his life. He can and he should go through a process of grief and acceptance and all the things.

Yeah. I mean, harboring resentment toward a parent, especially for something as awful as sexual abuse, is obviously very painful. It might also be appropriate. I'm not saying that he should walk around with a burning rage toward his father for the rest of his life. He can and he should go through a process of grief and acceptance and all the things.

Yeah. I mean, harboring resentment toward a parent, especially for something as awful as sexual abuse, is obviously very painful. It might also be appropriate. I'm not saying that he should walk around with a burning rage toward his father for the rest of his life. He can and he should go through a process of grief and acceptance and all the things.

And maybe that leads into saying, dad, in my own way, I forgive you. But anger, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness. I think all of these feelings deserve to be on the table, too.

And maybe that leads into saying, dad, in my own way, I forgive you. But anger, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness. I think all of these feelings deserve to be on the table, too.

And maybe that leads into saying, dad, in my own way, I forgive you. But anger, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness. I think all of these feelings deserve to be on the table, too.

So where do those feelings go when you can't tolerate the distress of feeling them? They have to go somewhere, right? They go underground. They become unconscious. They come out in other ways, including perhaps this fear he has about how his partner will respond to this revelation.

So where do those feelings go when you can't tolerate the distress of feeling them? They have to go somewhere, right? They go underground. They become unconscious. They come out in other ways, including perhaps this fear he has about how his partner will respond to this revelation.

So where do those feelings go when you can't tolerate the distress of feeling them? They have to go somewhere, right? They go underground. They become unconscious. They come out in other ways, including perhaps this fear he has about how his partner will respond to this revelation.

Which is an interesting detail. And who knows what process that sister went through. It might have been very healthy and productive. She might also be struggling to work through this. But there's at least one example in this family of someone going, this is not okay. We can't be close.

Which is an interesting detail. And who knows what process that sister went through. It might have been very healthy and productive. She might also be struggling to work through this. But there's at least one example in this family of someone going, this is not okay. We can't be close.

Which is an interesting detail. And who knows what process that sister went through. It might have been very healthy and productive. She might also be struggling to work through this. But there's at least one example in this family of someone going, this is not okay. We can't be close.

Yeah, you just need to sit, bro. But it's interesting that the other sister feels differently. Apparently she's done a lot of processing before. he said, around this trauma and they're friendly now.