Logan Urie

And so I definitely think people are having a hard time right now. There's burnout. There's a lot of things that are challenging. But I also want people to know that that is a part of putting yourself out there and risk being rejected. And some of it is the tech, but a lot of it is just human nature. That's true.

Oh, no. People are having a hard time. Absolutely.

Oh, no. People are having a hard time. Absolutely.

Oh, no. People are having a hard time. Absolutely.

So what you said reminded me of this really helpful term, which is that researchers used to refer to relationshiping which is the experience of going from meeting a new person and having that turn into a romantic relationship. And now they refer to relation shopping, which is shopping for a potential partner the way that you would shop for any other product.

So what you said reminded me of this really helpful term, which is that researchers used to refer to relationshiping which is the experience of going from meeting a new person and having that turn into a romantic relationship. And now they refer to relation shopping, which is shopping for a potential partner the way that you would shop for any other product.

So what you said reminded me of this really helpful term, which is that researchers used to refer to relationshiping which is the experience of going from meeting a new person and having that turn into a romantic relationship. And now they refer to relation shopping, which is shopping for a potential partner the way that you would shop for any other product.

And so if you were shopping for Bluetooth headphones, you might say, how much do they weigh? How long is the battery life? How much do they cost? And then you'd look for something online that meets those specs. And people sometimes try to do that with online dating, but... people are not digital goods. People are not things that are just a combination of all of their different traits, right?

And so if you were shopping for Bluetooth headphones, you might say, how much do they weigh? How long is the battery life? How much do they cost? And then you'd look for something online that meets those specs. And people sometimes try to do that with online dating, but... people are not digital goods. People are not things that are just a combination of all of their different traits, right?

And so if you were shopping for Bluetooth headphones, you might say, how much do they weigh? How long is the battery life? How much do they cost? And then you'd look for something online that meets those specs. And people sometimes try to do that with online dating, but... people are not digital goods. People are not things that are just a combination of all of their different traits, right?

That's why matchmaking is so hard. That's why finding your person is so hard because we're so much more than our height, our weight, our religion and things like that. And it's really when I am in front of you on a date, what side of me do you bring out? What's the dynamic between the two of us?

That's why matchmaking is so hard. That's why finding your person is so hard because we're so much more than our height, our weight, our religion and things like that. And it's really when I am in front of you on a date, what side of me do you bring out? What's the dynamic between the two of us?

That's why matchmaking is so hard. That's why finding your person is so hard because we're so much more than our height, our weight, our religion and things like that. And it's really when I am in front of you on a date, what side of me do you bring out? What's the dynamic between the two of us?

And so really a lot of the work I try to do with my clients is moving people away from relation shopping and have them actually tune into how do I feel when I'm around the person? What side of me do they bring out? And moving from the checklist mindset to really an experiential mindset of how does it feel to be with that person?

And so really a lot of the work I try to do with my clients is moving people away from relation shopping and have them actually tune into how do I feel when I'm around the person? What side of me do they bring out? And moving from the checklist mindset to really an experiential mindset of how does it feel to be with that person?

And so really a lot of the work I try to do with my clients is moving people away from relation shopping and have them actually tune into how do I feel when I'm around the person? What side of me do they bring out? And moving from the checklist mindset to really an experiential mindset of how does it feel to be with that person?

So a metaphor that I find helpful here is to think about your dating app and who you see on Hinge as a club, like a nightclub. Okay. And then the way that you set your filters is the bouncer for the club. And so when people go on and they make their profile, they're not thinking that hard about it. They're just like, oh... six feet or taller? Sure, that sounds great.

So a metaphor that I find helpful here is to think about your dating app and who you see on Hinge as a club, like a nightclub. Okay. And then the way that you set your filters is the bouncer for the club. And so when people go on and they make their profile, they're not thinking that hard about it. They're just like, oh... six feet or taller? Sure, that sounds great.

So a metaphor that I find helpful here is to think about your dating app and who you see on Hinge as a club, like a nightclub. Okay. And then the way that you set your filters is the bouncer for the club. And so when people go on and they make their profile, they're not thinking that hard about it. They're just like, oh... six feet or taller? Sure, that sounds great.

I'd love to meet a six foot guy. And then they put that as their filter. And then suddenly they're like, why is there no one in my club? Where are all the guys? And it's like, well, you filtered out 86% of men who are under six feet tall. And now you're wondering why I'm having a hard time. And so people are creating really harsh filters and then not seeing a bunch of people.