Louis Tomlinson

And then she told me.

And you know what it's like, anything like this in life, when you hear something like that carries any kind of weight, like the first 10 thoughts are either it can't be true.

Maybe she's got it wrong.

Maybe the doctors have got it wrong.

Just all these stages of denial before actually, you know, even embracing the thought.

It wasn't really, it wasn't kind of really like me.

I didn't even feel like it was like a cry for help at the time.

But that night I got absolutely battered.

I got really, really drunk.

There'll be nights where, you know, and this has been nights in the past where I'll have a little bit too much to drink.

More from not knowing my limit.

But in this kind of situation, it's not something I've ever really used drink for, to be honest.

But I just, that was, I felt the only way just to completely escape that moment in that, in that, at that night.

what I found really challenging during even that first conversation with her about it was I still wanted to inspire hope.

I still wanted to, like, cause she was really hopeful and she was like,

So I was trying to have this genuine worry that any son would, but I also was trying to shield a bit of my mum from that.

I didn't want her to feel like she'd upset me, even though obviously it wasn't her choice.

But I can remember that idea of really trying to...

I would be real with my mom about how I was feeling, but there were times when I wouldn't be because I wouldn't want her to feel guilty.

So she told you over the phone that she'd had a diagnosis?