Louis Tomlinson

And then they told me that she passed away and I literally was like, okay, right.

Um, I can't tell you why.

Cause it was, it was just, it was just, uh, it was only me and my best friend and my ex-girlfriend at the time.

So it wasn't like a pride thing of maybe like, okay, like I'm cool.

I'm fine.

I just, I think I didn't, I just,

not only did I, was I in denial at that moment, like I just refused to even compute it.

It was just like, okay, cool.

And then I remember shutting the door and then I told the people I owned the house with and obviously then they start crying and obviously then I think your brain starts catching up with you.

Yeah.

And something that was really, really tough for me at this moment in time, and this is a stupid thing to say because I know that he was more than willing to be there for me, but my best friend who I was living with at the time, he was here today.

I remember him saying, I'm just so sorry.

And he was crying his eyes out.

I was just like, I'm just so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I felt guilty that he felt like that, which is stupid.

And so I'd said before about how this is, you know, me and my family are some of the characters in the story, but often what's not spoke about in the name of grief is people like my best friend and the role that they have to play.

Now, these are not trained therapists.

These are not people who've had any kind of reference of this kind of pain.

And all you're doing as a best friend there is actually demanding pain.