Louis Tomlinson

just praying, hoping that they give you something in return that will not change the reality, but just, you know, be there for you or whatever.

And that, nothing prepares you in life for those kinds of situations.

That's something that I will forever, forever, ever be in debt to him for, because yes, you know, this is an unfathomable, it's a really impossible situation for me and my family to have found ourselves in.

But there are other people at play too, you know, and I can only imagine how hard that was.

And he knew how hard it was for me and how I just lost my mum.

And there are no words, right?

I'm sure you're just scrambling your brain trying to find the words and there isn't any.

Also, bear in mind everything that I've said before this.

if I was to dumb my role down to like one thing in life, I'd maybe say like to look after people.

Well, like in the context of my sisters, they're protector, right?

To lose my sister in the manner that we did, even though I know, I knew that it wasn't fair on myself.

Like I felt,

I felt utterly guilty.

I felt powerless.

And I felt like I'd let my sister and like I'd let my mum down, really.

My mum said to me, in the last couple of weeks of her life, she was like, you better promise me you'll look after your sisters.

And I'm like, yeah, you know, of course, you know I will.

And she was like, but specifically Felicity, you know, she's fragile.

I felt like I'd failed at the time.

that that that that's the truth um i know now that i didn't and if she was here now she would say that you didn't um but yeah it doesn't change the feeling and that's again you know that that was that's always been the role i played in the family so and all i was trying to all i was trying to do after my mom was just put me and my sisters and my grandparents in a bubble and just like let's just nothing's gonna get to us you know so that that uh