Lucy Hale
Appearances
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I do believe in the divine timing of my life. So at those moments, I did have what I needed. But I think what I really was craving was, I mean, honestly, like simply put, my connection with a higher power, my spiritual, I was spiritually broken is what I was.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Absolutely.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And that brought on more shame because even as a little kid, I was like highly connected to God. Like I remember speaking out loud and speaking to the universe and literally daydreaming about being in L.A. And I manifested that for my life. And at some point along the way, I just It's not like that left me. I cut myself off from that. That connection's always there.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
As people, we just forget, suppress, cut it off. But I think what I really needed was Well, I needed to get scared shitless is what I needed. And that's what happened when I got sober. I was scared. I was very scared. And not everyone needs that, but I needed, it was like someone was shaking me to wake up. And so I had to be so scared because I, it's not like I wanted to die. I wanted to live.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I needed, I needed my connection with something bigger than me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, I just, I was like, do I make it out of this? Or is this going to be my life?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Three years ago. I'm like, is this going to be my life? Because I was just in this pattern for years and I was so physically, mentally, emotionally tired. I couldn't even, I literally couldn't even look people in the eye because I was so ashamed of who I was. Wow. Because there was just a moment in my life, all I did was wear sunglasses because I was like people see right through me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I was just really lost.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Really, really lost. And the second I stopped running, I was just tired of running. I was like, for what?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think I knew that there was like this... box inside of me that I had like chains locked up. I didn't even know where the key was. I was like, no, no, no, it's good. We can just like shove that down as far as possible. And I, but I knew throughout all of this that if I just opened the box, sat with it, slowly unpacked it, that it would be okay because I knew that all the answers were there.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
My answers were all inside of me. It's never going to be outside of me. And
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
That was another way of numbing out.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, look, these people like me. Look at these followers. Look, I'm number one on a call sheet. And listen, let me preface with, I love what I do. My job has saved my life in so many ways. The fact that I get to create and collaborate... it's just blows my mind that I get to do that. But it was such a, uh, a fancy bandaid for a long time.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Um, because it was because my success was completely running parallel with my struggles.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's really weird. It's really weird.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Exactly. And I felt like my, um, issues with alcohol or numbing out were getting worse.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I was really clever about my, my, my ways. Um, because I wasn't drinking during the week because my job was important to me. But when I would go, I would go like weekends were mine. I was like, you know, the weekends are mine. And, and you know, I, they normally were blacking out and not remembering what I did.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And luckily I, you know, had people, you know, I was safe, but how I mentally and emotionally functioned, I don't know. Like I have, I have memories of being at work and like truly having to walk away because I was like, I was like, people, people know what's going on. Like I, I, I wasn't there though. Like a part of me was not there because I was just, it was survival.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It was like fight, what is it? Fight or flight all the time. And it, I just now, before we started, you were like, you feel so grounded. And it's just, I just now after three years, my nervous system is like, oh, we can relax now.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But it's true that when you truly honor your truth and live from the most authentic place. Because I had similar feelings. I was like, after I did the podcast, I was like, well, my career is over.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Bye, Hollywood. You know, but I was welcomed with so much warmth and so much love. And so it actually I could still cry thinking about it because I never thought I was deserving of that. And it just goes to show that when you honor that, who you are, there's no one else on the planet like you or me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And when you live in that truth, people, they have no choice but to, they don't have to like you, but they can say, damn, I respect that.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
For a long time. But also, to add another layer to that, being your authentic self and not caring if people don't like you. Because if you're truthful to you, and that's the best feeling for me. I don't know if you relate to this, but there's really nothing I would change. I mean, there's always growth and evolution of self, but there's nothing I would change about myself. I'm not hiding.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
There's no skeleton. No.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm like, there's some things that go with it.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
No, but I'm me. And if you don't like what I'm saying, turn it off. If you don't, don't follow me. But this is me, and I can sleep at night knowing that... I'm truly in alignment with hopefully one of the better versions of myself.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, it really ate away at me and it really messed with my head. I now look back and I'm so proud of, I mean, even though I handled it in a specific way, I am so proud of that juxtaposition because like it actually should have gone worse. You know what I'm saying? Because of how I felt.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I really, I've always kind of felt like in my life that I am kind of this like lone ranger, like I want to do it myself. I felt a little misunderstood in my life. And I definitely felt that way during that period of my life. And yeah, just like reflecting back on how I used to feel, it feels like almost like a different,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
lifetime ago but I can still it still resonates but you know I still there's still things I struggle with of course, but it really is the best gift to say, you know what? I did. It's not even, Oh, I, I, yes, I love myself, but it's more like, wow, I really did my best today. Where can I do better tomorrow? Like, who can I apologize to?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Like, is there any way to like clean up my side of the street? How do I challenge myself more? And now I'm just obsessed with, you know, I, I, I want to know more about myself and I want to, speak more with people and connect more with people. My friends, bless them, they hear me talk about all the different things that I try. I'm obsessed with spirituality and self-help.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Definitely, I've funneled my addictions into that, but I think it's better.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I still love caffeine.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's so true. And that to me is, I don't even like to use the word sober sobriety because to me it's, yes, I am sober, but it's less about not using drugs and wait, using drugs, drinking alcohol. And it's more, I love myself and my life so much. I would never do anything that's going to threaten my peace. And that applies to people that applies to society.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
environments, that applies to substances, that applies to everything. My peace and a calm nervous system is my top priority. And so it's more about, like you said, like anything that's going to shift me out of alignment, I'm not doing it. I'm sorry. There's not even an option.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, I... I feel like this whole journey has been, I'm not a changed person. I'm just going back to who I always was. It was like coming home to myself. It was like, and you know, and we all experienced that. Like life happens, happens, heartbreak happens. And it's like, we just get all this stuff piled onto us. And we're like, wait, I'm in here. Like, please come find me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so I always have felt really connected to my inner child. But I knew that my inner child or little Lucy, like I took on a lot of stuff early on. And so I knew that a lot of my healing was
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I think that's why I avoided it for so long is because I knew that I was going to not have to live in that space again, but have to really acknowledge what I felt and what I went through and who did those things. And it's just I was like, I'm not dealing. And, you know, for 20 years, I was like, I'm not dealing with it. But.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But what I realized is nothing's ever as scary as we make it up to be in our head. And you don't, I was like, now, now I realize I don't have to attach to those stories that we like. I was giving so much of an identity to alcoholic victim. I was complete victim mode and we don't have to do that. Real healing lies in letting, feeling it. you know, and then completely letting it go.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Half, not even half, all of the stuff that weighs us down are not our burdens to carry. None of it's our. And so.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
think when you're a kid you just do you just do kids are pure you know it's like oh you have no choice really and then I moved to LA young and grew up really quickly I was surrounded by adults I was making a lot of money early I like I You know, it's just kind of an expedited childhood. I didn't go to high school. I didn't go to college.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so there was a mixture of like wanting to be normal, intertwined with all of that as well.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But I moved out when I was 15. So I've lived here for 20, a little over 20 years. Wow.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I did. I did. I mean, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, this is definitely, but, but all that being said, I, I, I feel like the journey of my life, it still would have been the same thing, whether I was back home or here.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Probably so, but this ties back to my soul had a, you know, has a plan for me. There were bookmarkers I needed to reach. There's a million different ways I could have reached those bookmarkers. That's free will, right? But... but I needed to learn some lessons and, you know, they're tough, tough lessons.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But yeah, I really do believe I would have dealt with similar themes, maybe just, you know, not in the public eye.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think so, and of course, as a kid, I didn't have the vocabulary of channel or manifesting, but I thought I was just a really elaborate daydreamer.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But to the point, because I spent a lot of time alone as a kid, I didn't have many friends. I just I genuinely loved being alone because then I could be in my head and I could create these environments that made me really, really happy. And so I did a lot of music growing up. So music was always my emotional valve. And just that really got me through some stuff as a kid.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But yeah, I mean, I have I have memories of. being in my house or backyard or whatever on my trampoline and just knowing I was moving out of the city I was in. I knew I was destined to do something big. I knew it. And even at this point, I didn't even know what an actor was. I was just like, And this isn't, you know, talking bad about where I come from or my family.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I was just like, I feel kind of like a square and a, you know, what's the saying? Like, yes. I was like, I love my family and, but something's not right here. I always just felt like the black sheep of the family, just in how I, viewed people, the way I dressed, like my interests, everything. Um, but yeah, now I look back and I was like, dang, I knew how to manifest as a little kid.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So, okay, so there's a couple elements to this. Now, Do I believe in manifest? You don't have to believe in manifesting it is law but I feel like my destiny as a person was always to be in LA so Does that make sense?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So like, even if I was in a bad place in my life, like my soul wanted to be here, but I would say the biggest difference in manifesting from it's like I was manifesting things and they would happen, but I'd still have the feelings of unworthiness.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yes. And what's really interesting about, um, like I manifested some things after Pretty Little Liars and it was a couple of TV shows. And I'm talking, I did like three TV shows in a row that got canceled. And I was like, but you know what it was? It's because I had this limiting belief that I didn't deserve
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
What I had already or that I had already peaked or that, you know, and so I was manifesting jobs that weren't going to follow through.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, my God. And we were talking about like money beliefs earlier. Everyone read the Blue House book. But like I've had to really reestablish a healthy relationship with money and with success and realizing that success doesn't equal bad or evil. To me, more success equals success.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
wow, I get to connect with so many people or wow, I get to create content, movies, TV, films that's really going to help people or entertain them or give them a break from their day. David has really helped me with all of this stuff. my life has felt like a series of trial and errors like most people's.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But then I realized, oh my God, I realized my part in it because we are manifesting every second of every freaking day. And the biggest, like if anyone takes anything from this podcast, it is get really comfortable with your thoughts and make sure you're focusing more on the positive than the negative. I feel like what I realized was I was latching on to so many
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
negative limiting beliefs that were really hindering my my growth as both an artist and a human interesting and i was blaming other people that is the worst thing you can do is say well i'm not getting this job because this person's not working hard enough for me or and it's like no no no no we are so in control of whatever we want to create and that's a scary concept for a lot of people yes to accept a lot of people don't
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
don't want to accept that. But it is my belief. It is my belief that we are master, master creators. And we are so powerful. And like how cool that, I mean, look, I'm sitting here like two years ago, I was like, dang, I really love this podcast. And I was like, I could really see myself on this podcast. And here I am. But we're also manifesting little things like a cup of tea.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's just... I love it. I think it's fun to play.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I feel like it was around the time I got sober. I mean, definitely a year or two before I got sober, I started having these like little glimmers of hope or like things were really connecting for me spiritually or like how I was getting in my own way, how I was contributing to this sob story or like contributing to my own suffering, you know?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And that is the biggest wake up call a soul can have is when they're like, oh my God, this is my part in why I'm in so much pain. Because I think it's so easy for us to just like blame, blame, blame, blame, blame.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
No, I mean, I think I was just, yeah, it was like people around me or other people in the industry.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, it was like, oh, I'm not, I don't look a certain way or I'm not a good enough actor. Or like, what are these stupid stories that we tell ourselves that aren't true? Like, I was just giving my power away too easily. And all of that started to shift When I first I had to get clear headed. Right.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It was like, OK, stop drinking, stop doing all this stuff and just like really let's get back in alignment. And I had to be really clear headed. And, you know, the first year of sobriety was really about just in my environment changed. The people I was with changed. The second year was... Because you're not hanging out with the same people who are drinking on weekends.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
My whole life completely changed. But I have been lucky that a lot of... Like my family, I have some... All of my closest friends have been my friends for years, years, years. And they were, you know, stood by my side. But a lot of my life...
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
changed look different the second year was more about like okay i need to integrate into the world and have fun but i was you know i can't like sit at home in my house all day with my dogs although it's pretty fun too though and then the third year so the year i just came out because i'm in my going to my fourth year my third year was like everything changed really last year
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Everything I had bottled up came to the surface. It was like I got hit with everything one after one and I was like emotional whiplash. And luckily work was, I had a lot of time last year to deal. You know, it's funny how those things, I was like, thank you universe. Cause I really needed time to sit with it.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's like, I'm busy. Like I'm booked and busy. I don't have to worry about my like emotions or whatever. Like stupid. Um, but I had the time and, and it was during that year where I realized, Oh, like if I changed the way I think and I believe it and I embody that, like I can change everything in my life. And so,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
it wasn't all bad. Like there were moments, I think I've always had like an innate sense of purpose. Like I always was like, I'm here to do something important. I haven't always known what that is, but I've always had, I always feel like I've been very open and I've had a good heart. Like I wasn't just constantly like shitting on myself, you know? But I think a lot of the limiting beliefs were,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Playing small. I thought I needed to be really quiet.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And just, yeah. Yeah, really, I thought, because to me, the limiting belief of speaking up, setting boundaries, speaking your mind, I was like, oh, that is a troubled woman. Like, that is too much. That, this, a theme in my life, For all the girlies listening, I feel like it is a similar thing with women feeling like we're too much, too emotional, too complex, whatever it is.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I really tried to make myself small and and it worked because I'm like five foot two. I'm like, I'm physically small and I and I just need to be the nice girl and I need to be really polite and I need to do what people tell me. And then then, you know, I'm going to be accepted and loved and adored, whatever.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And it did kind of work for a while, but I felt I didn't feel like myself because I do have opinions and I do have ideas and I know what I want. I definitely know what I don't want. And it's so fun to be able to stand in a place of power while also being kind. I think I thought if you spoke up, you were not kind, but it's just not true. Like there's a way to do it.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
The courage to be disliked, like that is powerful. But guess what? You're actually doing things right if people don't like you, because living in your truth and be, I have found that when I've been, and it's kind of what we were talking about earlier, when I have felt the most aligned, been speaking my truth, like emanating my inner light,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
it triggers a lot of people oh yeah oh it triggers i've had the amount of people it's like are like there's a couple of people online they're like i don't believe her phony but it doesn't faze me because i know who i am so actually if you're pissing people off or people don't like you you're doing you're doing something right because there has to be duality to everything not everyone's gonna love you not everyone's gonna adore you 100%
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And actually it took the pressure off of me because I felt like I had to do that. And I'm like, it's too tiring.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think for me, I struggled a lot with being present in every sense of the word. Um, I think, I think that's why I liked being, I like being an actor is because I, I'm forced to be very present. Um, and I connected those dots. I was like, Oh my God, that's why I gravitated towards it as a child because it took me out of my head and I could just focus on whatever I was doing. Um, but my life,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
there's so much stillness in my life the last couple of years. And I'll just have these moments where it's not anything profound. I'm just like sitting, drinking my coffee with my dogs and I'll just be so moved to tears by how great I feel. It's almost like I can't believe I'm so comfortable in my own skin. I felt really afraid of myself for a long time. I was afraid of my choices. I felt like
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
you know, I felt like a wild card. And so to just be really, no, it was... Really?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, I mean, sober me, I was, but I was a people pleaser. And so I just never, I felt like I was trying on all of these different masks and none of them really felt like me. And so now I just like what I meant by that, that quote about miracles and magic is I feel so connected to myself and I feel connected to my, I call them my team, my guide team up there.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
What's up, man? I'm so happy to be here. This is, I mean, we've been trying to make this happen.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I just am in awe of what I've been able to do. I'm in awe of other people. I feel like I so much empathy for people and what everyone's fighting silent battles. We know nothing about, I mean, I'm like the perfect example of that for, for 10 years. And there were so many people who I don't have resentment towards them, but like, they just didn't know what I was going through.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And that's why it's so vital to be kind, to always be kind. And I don't think I would have, um, garnered that amount of understanding or empathy hat had I not gone through what I've gone through. And I don't think it, and I don't mean like enable people, but like we don't understand anyone else's point of view or what people are going through. So just be patient.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I wouldn't call them roadblocks, but we had some... the universe said, not yet, pause, pause, the timing isn't right.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Um, At moments, yeah. And then I would get mad that people wouldn't show up for me. And so then I'm like, oh, was I only doing those things to get something in return? Because that's not actually giving. If I'm giving my time or my energy just because I want them to show up for me, that's selfish. That's people pleasing.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so that was a big wake up call for me to be like, oh my God, am I not as good of a person as I thought I was? Because people pleasing is actually... Selfish like you can still be a good person, but it comes from a moment Yeah, and and if I act this way, then I'll be accepted and loved and adored.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And you were like attracting the same type of- Same person. Like this is what I mean about the lesson will keep repeating until you- Until it got really painful.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
That's so powerful the way you just worded that. And I did talk therapy for many years and we did a lot of inner child work, a lot of inner child work, a lot of like meditations where I visualize myself as a little kid. It's interesting to do for other people too, because if you're angry at someone, if you do a meditation or you can even journal about it, envision their inner child.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
You can't be mad.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Everyone's wounded. We're all wounded. Okay. The thing I just posted today says, the irony is that your light grows brighter the more you embrace your darkness. Isn't that crazy? The only way out is through. It's so, so true.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think as a kid and still sometimes now, I think definitely as a child, I didn't feel like I had emotional safety or I felt like I was, I was a very emotional child, very complex. Didn't know what to do with these big feelings. Like I'm talking like really questioning some big stuff as a small kid. And I think like purpose of life.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Like I felt, I remember telling my mom when I was very small, I was like, I feel like I'm going to die. Really? I feel like I'm gonna die young. I'm talking like three four years old crazy stuff And so there was a darkness there. There was a desire to To know and I was curious about a lot and I and I and I never really felt like I had a lot of people to connect to and I'm sure like
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
seeing a kid with like that kind of energy probably freaked people out, you know, as an adult, it's cool as hell. Like, I love it. I love that about me. But as a, as a little kid, you know, you didn't feel emotionally safe. No, I felt like if, if I were to express what I was truly feeling, um, there wasn't always an outlet to go to. Like I, I, I,
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I spent a lot of time in my room crying because like that is where I felt safe to like actually be myself. And I think that's also why I spent a lot of time alone. I also want to say my parents are amazing, by the way, I'm not saying it was just, I don't feel like it was very different than a lot of other kids I knew.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And, um, and that's why I think music came into my life because I think it became this like safe space for me. But I, but I also think, um, if i were to be sitting next to little lucy i think she just wanted to be understood and seen and um able to cry if she wants to able to laugh if she wants to like just free i think i just wanted freedom um why did you not feel free
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think without going too deep, I... How do I word this? I think a part of me was really scared of what I was feeling, my intensity. I still get scared of my intensity sometimes. But also, my parents were divorced when I was young. And so I think when something like that happens for a kid around like four or five...
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I didn't understand what was happening, but of course I'm absorbing the energy of that. And I wanted to make my dad and my mom happy. And so I was like a shapeshifter. I could do whatever I needed to do. I realized early on, if I acted this way, that made certain people happy. If I acted this way, it made certain people not happy. So I'm not going to do that. So I'm just going to be this person.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so I maybe took on some emotional burdens really young. that at all anymore. I've sorted through that. But, but also I think even before I moved to LA, I was just, I was growing up quickly and this is a lot of people's story, right? Like I'm sure as parents, I'm not a parent yet. I'm sure when you're a parent, you're going to screw up, you're going to mess up.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
They were doing the best they could. Um, and I have been really lucky that they've been very, my sweet mom, She's been so patient with me over the years and I've always been very supported by both my parents. I think at times maybe not understood by them. I think we're all different people, but I have a really good relationship with my mom and a good relationship with my dad too.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I see my parts of them in me. I definitely know what I've gotten from my dad and what I get from my mom. And it's such a nice place to have forgiven. This is what I mean about not blaming. How many people do you know are like, well, my so-and-so did this and that's why I'm this way. It's like, okay, keep telling yourself that and you're going to keep being miserable.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So I was like, I'm going to stop blaming all the characters in my life.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
the last couple of years.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah. I mean, this is new.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
This is what I mean about the victim mentality. It was, that's what it was like. Oh, well I came from a child of divorce. It's like, yeah, Lucy. So it was like 90% of America, you know, like get over it, deal with it. Don't, don't, don't, don't wallow in it anymore. Okay. That's the cards you've been dealt. What did it teach you? Everything's a learning experience.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Everything that happens to you, good, bad, ugly, pretty, whatever is there to teach you. If you choose to take that route. And I do. It's exhausting. Sometimes I'm like, ah, ignorance is bliss. But as you know, once you're on that path, there's no looking back. You don't stop. You don't just say, nah, I'm good here. No, keep climbing. Keep going.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Of course, you didn't deserve that Of course people don't deserve for those things to happen to you. Absolutely not condoning that But it's like you I'm sure you've had to say okay. This is what happened. I didn't deserve it.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And you've obviously taken such a beautiful path with it.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So wait, so it's anger, because I agree with you that anger is not necessarily bad, but I also believe there's like a spectrum of emotions, right? And like, you can't go from shame, depression, all the way to like bliss. You have to like work up the ladder, right?
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
You've got to learn through the ladder is better. Yeah, but I do agree.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's so true. You're so much more reactive.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's so true.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
What do they call it? Emotional alchemy.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's like transmuting it.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, that's power.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
That's so true. And I think that, you know, when people haven't seen me in a while, they're like, oh my God, you're just, you're doing great. And I'm like, I am doing great, but it doesn't, just because you make certain choices doesn't mean that every day is just glowing, glittery sunshine.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, there are days where I'm like, I feel like I'm on drugs because I'm so excited about life or passionate. Like, No, it's just like learning, oh, I'm having a really bad day and I'm going to let myself have a bad day and then I'm going to let it go and have a better day tomorrow.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, yeah, because it's easy. Oh, God, it's so easy to latch on to it.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Is it about dating?
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, I mean, it was a really unbelievably confusing ride to be on because externally, how I showed up in the world, my persona was successful on a big show, like cool clothes, good eyebrows, like all the things right. But then I'd go home at night and I had this unbelievable guilt and shame for having those things.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think about it in every type of friendships, family dynamics, romantic relationships, even people that I'm hanging out with just, you know, for a little bit, definitely working relationships. I think all of those have changed astronomically when I started putting myself first, because what happens, yeah, let's go. But I think it's, it's,
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
the type of people I was attracting in my past were people who were of a similar wound or were going to trigger my wound. I was like caught in that cycle. And that's how the universe works. I'm not a scientist, but like, Billy Carson can tell you how that works, right? I also was attracting, you know, some relationships without getting too specific that weren't for my highest good.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But now, oh, I think about this every day. But it's almost like I don't even need to worry about who's coming into my life as long as I'm true to me. Because if I'm embodying the person I want to be with, if I'm living from a place of love, of integrity, of value, of passion, whatever, I can only attract people who are that.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
No one else can even break through that barrier. And if they do, I recognize it very quickly. And I'm sorry, but they got to go.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Because like I said, where I'm at in my life, work too hard. I have a zero tolerance for people who aren't going to elevate my life.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm not pulling people up. I can connect. I can support. I can be there. But especially in intimate relationships, we have to be... of the same mindset. There has to be like a similar outlook in the world. Like spirituality is very important to me. But yeah, I feel like I'm very clear on the type of people I want to spend time with. Definitely.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I feel like transparency is super, super important to me. And I feel like when I have that, everything else is okay. Because if you're being honest and transparent with me, like, I can believe your word. I've been in so many dynamics where, you know, especially in LA, people are like, oh, yeah, you know, they'll tell you one thing and you never hear from them again.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
um and i mean it's more of i don't know if it's exact values but i'm seeking out people who are on a similar path as me who are actively working towards um getting to know themselves more um connecting with other people um but yeah i i don't know how you feel but when you're on this path like It's not that I don't want to say it's hard because that is a limiting belief that it's hard.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's just it's I feel like I'm in a phase of my life where it's weeding out the things that are not supposed to be a part of my life anymore. So cleaning it up, cleaning out, cleaning house.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I did. And I think that that was just a limiting belief I acquired at some point as a kid of thinking that... receiving meant selfish or that receiving meant you weren't grateful. And like, I just had this idea that I needed to humble myself. And so I felt really guilty for a lot of the things I had. And I want to say that that sort of shame. To me, shame is the lowest you can get as a human.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, it adds up.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Right. And I think, you know, this ties back to what little Lucy needed. Like I'm desiring emotional safety.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And for someone to look at me, look at... all parts of me, everything I've done, the woman I'm becoming, the woman I am today and say, I freaking love this woman. Like, I accept all parts of you and just feeling really safe. And I think that that for me, like I'm not going to go into my astrological chart, but like emotional safety is so important.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And to feel seen in that way is like.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So I know my, I hate this word, but I know my triggers. It's so overused. But I know my like fault lines. I know what's going to take me. So it's really important for me to start my day with like pure energy. So I do my best to wake up. I'm not reaching for my phone. Like social media, I wish I could be one of those people where –
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
you know, I look at social media for three minutes and I don't think about it, but it's not it. Like my brain goes, I'm going to grasp onto, you know, I'll just spiral. So I try to, you know, I stay off my phone. It's important for me to have a really intentional morning. And by that, I mean, whether that's meditating or outside walking with the dogs or just time where I can
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I call it prayer time, but you can call it whatever, talking to the universe, talking to yourself. And I get really clear on what my soul wants me to do that day. I literally ask, what do you need from me today? And so sometimes I'll like journal out just like stream of consciousness writing. And sometimes I hear really specific things like go do yoga.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
go drive this way to get coffee or go to this coffee shop or sometimes I hear nothing and that's okay. But I've been really leaning into learning to trust my intuition and really just getting comfortable with that and getting familiar with what my higher self is trying to tell me to do. But, you know, I'm also really intentional about the places I go, the people I see.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I love what I do, so I love being busy with work. But yeah, I'm just very intentional about what I'm going to step into. And if I do have to go somewhere where I know it's going to be overwhelming or maybe not somewhere I'd necessarily go, just protect myself with that white light and I go and then I all, you know what I do every day?
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Um, when I get home from like being around a lot of people, I shower, just get all that energy off and I just literally imagine and going down the drain. So I do like a lot of cleansing stuff.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I do sound healing, meditation, all the things, energy work, Reiki. I'm obsessed, obsessed with astrology right now. Um, and for me it's, it's important to remain curious and playful. I think I, um, I think we're all like, as we get, obviously when we get older, we lose that like childlike curiosity. And I find that I'm happiest when I'm, you know, researching about some very niche topic.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's make believe.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, it's more of, sometimes it's not like specific words, but it's more of a feeling of just, have you ever experienced this where you're just so overcome with gratitude that you have no doubt in your mind that you're in the exact right place in your life. And that's more what I feel these days.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Like when I was gonna do the podcast and then saw you at the gym, it's like moments like that, like that is God. God orchestrates things in your life to let you know you're on the right path. The synchronicities, the signs are always there. So it's more of just feelings. I get goosebumps all the time. Like that is how I know I'm in alignment is it's usually only my left side.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think it's like the worst feeling. I think it's a really scary place to be in. And I want to say that that shame is what fueled the drinking and the numbing out. Because subconsciously, I was sabotaging my life. Because I was saying I wanted success. I was saying I wanted a great relationship. I was saying I wanted
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's really interesting.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm screwed.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm screwed. But I do hear, you know, sometimes in meditations, I've heard some interesting things. Like I've heard, do I go here? Yes. Okay, I heard yes. So I've heard like names.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
um i i really have i i heard a name in a meditation and i had no idea what this name was but i heard it very loudly and i was like i don't know what doris who is doris so i called my mom i put in my notes app and i called her the next day i was like mom do we have a doris or a family she was like yeah honey that's your great grandmother wow yeah so i feel really connected to people who have passed
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
and i feel like it's hard for me to be still it's hard for me to quiet my mind but when i do the stuff that comes through is really profound yeah now people are gonna be like lucy talks to dead people i wish when was the so you moved here when you were 15. yeah when did you feel like you started going off
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah. Probably like 18. Okay. think that was around when I was living on my own and I started making and I'm not saying that living on your own and making money and success equals bad but for me yeah it was around that time I was living on my own and my career was taking off and
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah, but it's also like if you're a teenager.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
We were all doing that for a while. Everyone was wiling out. Everyone was staying up all night. And so I would say around like 18, 19, 20, I had the moments of, my behavior is a little different than everyone else's. And, oh, I'm seeing some videos of myself and that seems really scary. Or like the desire to want to continue the party.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I don't even like calling it partying because that makes it sound like it was enjoyable. But like to continue to, I guess like the benders started because I was, you know.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Mainly alcohol, but towards the end it was also drugs.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, well, so yes. So that was actually my first kind of addictive behavior was I, like undiagnosed, but I definitely had issues with it. I had a, from like 13 to mid twenties. And I actually think it was the eating disorder that fueled the drinking.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
One of the reasons, because I obsessed so much about alcohol. my weight and you know the amount of calories or how much I was working out that when I drink I'd eat whatever I wanted and I didn't think about anything and I thought I looked decent enough to go you know it was it just like really you know, it gave my mind a break from all of that. And so I think it was a reprieve from that turmoil.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
you know, to be respected, but I was doing things, at the time I wasn't conscious of them, but I was doing things, I was trying to implode my life because I felt like a fraud. Wow. And now, without getting too deep into it, I believe that we all have souls and I believe that my soul really needed to learn the lesson of unconditional self-love and unconditional self-worth.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah. And that's pretty common for people with addictive behaviors that you'll channel it into something different. So, um, so the, like the 15 years where I was, um, on and off sober. I did have long periods of sobriety, but the eating disorder would kick up. And then, you know, so it was constantly being fueled.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yes. And that's really common. So a lot of people that get sober will fall back into ED territory or... Or smoking or something else. A lot of people, you know, I got addicted to sugar. I'm still kind of addicted to sugar, but a lot of people like early sobriety will...
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
just candy candy caffeine caffeine you know what i never picked up though smoking it's probably shocking it's a good thing shocking i don't know i i was like i'm in my mid-30s i can't start now there was a moment where i was like should i no yeah yeah maybe you're 21 it's different yeah yeah yeah interesting okay so 13 is when the eating disorder started Around, yeah.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
That's when I remember having abnormal thinking.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I think I felt emotionally out of control. I saw things happening in my environment that were really uncomfortable. And so I don't want to speak for everyone, but a lot of people I know who have struggled with disordered eating it gives them a false sense of control of their life. And it's like the one thing that's theirs when everything else feels like it's out of control.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And it got really, the eating disorder got really heightened when I moved to LA. I mean, shocker. Because then it was not only the control thing, it was also I want to be an actress in LA and I felt like I needed to look a certain way. And the truth is I didn't. The truth is those stories we tell ourself are not true.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, maybe a different time in the industry, but I'm sure I would have been accepted and loved had I not been doing that. But what's crazy is that I had the eating disorder, booked all the jobs. So I was like, well, it worked. And so then it like further fueled these negative behaviors. It's kind of like the thing you're saying, anger will get you places.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's kind of the same mentality because I, you know, I was drinking and doing all this stuff, had the eating disorder, but I was still getting
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
The prize. But it didn't feel as good as I thought it would.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Because you're not aligned. You're getting things out of alignment.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Made them worse, actually, for me.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's such a hopeless feeling. I know this feeling so deeply in my soul. And it was always like, And I have these benchmarkers where I'm like, okay, if I just book a job, then I'm going to be happy. And then I'd get the job and I'd be like, yeah, well, maybe. And it's like, when does it end? It doesn't end. There is nothing outside of you. Does money make life easier? Yeah.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so I believe that my soul always knew I was going to go through this and that I really do. And I'm sure I could talk about this forever of like why I think we're here on the planet, but, but one of my big lessons was.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Does a great job make you happier? Yeah. Is it going to fix the broken parts of you? No, never, not ever. The only thing that can do that is you and your connection to something bigger than you. The only thing that's going to make you happy is already within you. You don't need to seek, search, make, spend.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But then the great news is the byproduct of doing that work and getting aligned is then you get the jobs, then you get the money, then you get the people that actually are in alignment with your truest self.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yes. And it feels good. Finally.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm like you.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I really relate to that though. But also like your mentality is why you're so successful because you're like, okay, cool. Now what? And it's good. It's drive. It's passion. And I really respect that. And I feel like I'm that way too. But remember how I was talking about being really present. I'm trying to really... take a moment, whatever it is each day where I'm like, that was cool.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, I liked that interaction or whatever it is. It's so important to be grateful because the more you're grateful, the more you find things to be grateful for. And then the more you find more things to be grateful for. And so gratitude to me is the secret sauce of life.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
learning to love myself, even though I had done things that I knew were out of alignment with my truth, you know, and and really like understanding why I was making certain decisions and like really getting curious about why do I want to sabotage my life? Why do I dislike myself so much? And you know, and then it took
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm just tearing up because I wouldn't have changed anything I wouldn't have because I love who I am today. I really do. But I would tell her how
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
deserving do i say me or she i would tell her that she's deserving of good things good people healthy love i'm worthy of everything that's coming my way and just to to never lose sight of that i think that that is what so many people struggle with is this like not feeling worthy and i don't know why we all kind of have that little inkling but but we really are.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I, and I wish without changing anything, just to remind that version of me, how powerful my mind is. And that at any second I can tap, I could, you know, like we were saying earlier, like that connection to something bigger than me never went away. And that all I needed to do was just like brush off the dust, you know, shine it a little, but that connection's always there. Um,
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But yeah, I think that version of me just needed a big hug and needed some support and needed. Yeah, just needed that emotional foundation, I think. But I got through it. Yeah, I got through it. And not only did I get through it, I got through it. I think maybe even more than my soul intended to. I think my soul is like, okay, okay, you can calm down, but I'm just, I, I love this path I'm on.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I literally wake up and I'm like, I'm obsessed with my life.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yes. And it doesn't mean I'm not, I still have things I'm working on. I will always be doing that. Um, I don't know. I'm in a good place. And it's not just because of me. I've also been very blessed with unbelievable resources and true guardian angels and friends and just pillars of strength and people who have been guiding lights and loved me when I literally felt unlovable.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And that I do not take for granted at all.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I don't think we as people, I mean, I don't know how I would explain this to her, but as people, we don't have to earn our worthiness. That is our birthright. That is what we are on this planet. We are, that is unlimited, you know? And I, that's such a tough question. Cause like, how do you get through to someone who's like, how do you convince yourself?
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But this is why I think things happen exactly how they should, because I've only been able to understand that I'm worthy through experience, through trial and error, through falling on my face, literally and figuratively. And realizing that I've always just had this voice that was like, no, you deserve more. Try again. Try again. Try again. And I realized that not everyone has that.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But that is such a hard question. How do you tell someone that?
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
How do you tell her? I don't know.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But I think I always did know. I think there was like... I'm not... That's such a hard... What would you say? That's such a hard question to answer.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I know. I'm like, wow.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
No, it's a great question.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
the path of sobriety and to me it's sobriety represents so much more than just not drinking or doing drugs. It represents getting to the core of the wound and then getting your life back in alignment. Um, and it took like 15 years of trial. Yeah, man. Like I, I struggled heavily at the peak of my success with the TV shows on pretty little liars. I was at my absolute darkest, most shameful.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I think it's like, we shouldn't fake it through life. Like, don't say things you don't mean. Like, I feel like if I were to tell my younger self, be worthy, I'd be like, but I don't. It's a slow burn, you know? You don't have to say, like, you can't go from feeling depressed or sad or struggling to automatic bliss and life is amazing. It really is...
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
To me, it's like, this is a two-parter. To me, it's like the more you focus on what is going right in your life, you're going to keep finding more things that are going right. And you're going to keep finding more things to be grateful for as much as you possibly can focus on what is going right. and the things that are going wrong will dissipate. I literally promise.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I understand people are in different circumstances and scenarios, but as much as you can, try to see, find the good thing, write them down. Wake up every day and say, some days it might just be, you know, look at that ray of sunshine or, you know, the sheets feel nice, but some days it'll be, wow, I met the love of my life or it will grow and grow.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so I think that like finding ways to be grateful. I know people used to tell me this all the time and I wanted to tell them to shut up, but it works. It really, really works. And also I think, A lot of people feel lost, don't know their identity, don't know where their place is in the world, feel so misunderstood. A lot of people are living in shame. I relate to all of those things.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I think however you can, Find out what makes you uniquely you. We always forget how incredible it is. There's 8 million people on the planet and there's only one of each of us. I firmly believe we all have a purpose. I firmly believe we all chose the vessel we're in. I firmly believe our soul wants great things for all of us.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so I think it's just like living and finding your truest passion. And not letting, choose yourself every day and don't let anything get in the way of that. Always choose you. I don't care what anyone says. Let them call you selfish. Put you first. Always. Get alignment, in alignment with yourself first. Everything else will fall into place.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah. Did you come up with a great answer? I feel like you did.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Integrity is everything.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
There's another quote, here I go. It says something like, disappoint as many people as possible as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I can't take credit. Whoever wrote that on Instagram, yes.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And so like that juxtaposition was unbelievable to me because and it's and it's really proof that you can have all the things you say you want and still feel empty because what was happening for me is I thought everything outside of me was going to make me happy. I thought the job the boy, the money, the whatever. I was like, that's really going to fix me. And shocker, it doesn't.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
yeah and i just think if i could have learned to be alone and be happy with myself yeah i could have been fine with a couple friends not trying to have everyone like yeah i also feel like because i i'm a person that needs an action sometimes i'm like i can't just sit so so you know like sit and like expect the answers to come but i feel like
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
What I'd recommend to people is like literally having the awareness of wanting something different or wanting more that is a beautiful seed planted and ask, pray. If it's not prayer, talk to the wall. I don't care. Talk to yourself, write it down. If you desire to want to find the answers in your life, I swear to you, they'll show up. And it's all there. The answers are all there.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
They've always been there, but your awareness might not have been able to find them.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It really is. And also being patient. Like sometimes we don't know best. Sometimes there's a bigger plan for your life.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Keep at it. Consistency is key for sure.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
You know what happens is when I'm in these conversations, I will leave and not have any memory of what I've said.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Trust the timing of your life. That is simply it. Sometimes I try to play God and I'm like, well, I know best and it needs to work out this way. And if it doesn't work out this way, then it's wrong. No, no. I firmly believe when you surrender to the timing of your life, magic unfolds, magic happens. I have seen it.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
When I've released the reins, when I've said, okay, I'm co-captain, I'm still on the ship, but you've got a better plan than me, higher self, God, like take over. And there's such a relief in that. And I've really been trying to embrace that. And I really believe the next 10 years of my life is because I'm in alignment. I'm doing all the right things. I know it.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I'm doing my best every day, trying to. And when I don't, you know, I apologize and I try better next time. But now I think the next phase of my life is really trust the timing of my life. And I'm really going to try to challenge myself more, do more things that scare me and really be okay being more visible. And by that, I mean not being afraid of world perception or what people think of me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I feel like that is not what's tying me down. I just feel like there's going to be so much freedom and just being like, okay, I did this. Let's see what happens.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Yeah. I think all of it, just living from risking, be a bit, bit more of a risk taker, but yeah. Trusting the timing.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
What would you say?
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So yeah, it took a lot of trial and error, a lot of really trying. It's not that I didn't try. I really, really, really always wanted to feel better and to understand myself more. And I had many rock bottoms, though, that would have appeared worse on paper. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Some I'll take to the grave with me.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I don't see that for us.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Well, you're writing books and changing lives.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Isn't that amazing that when you do... I feel the same way. When I'm honoring that inner child feeling, but knowing that it impacts others in a positive way, that's the best. That's the best feeling.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh, I think she'll, I mean, I think it might be similar to what I was saying. I think, you know, I'm really setting the groundwork for the next phase of my life. Like I really feel like, you know, I've, I've, I've not only closed a chapter, like I'm in a whole new book and you know, I, I loved the first book. I hope it's a bestseller, but like we're onto the second part of it.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And, um, and I feel like I'm really, uh,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
i'm really doing the things i feel like are best for me in the long term and and i don't mean like the practical physical everyday things i mean like i'm getting my mind trained i'm ready ready like and it really does take commitment to be like oh i just had a thought that i don't i don't think it's for my best interest let's like divert it this way and that's like mental tennis you know and
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Because I know that I have to do that because I know what I want to achieve and I know where I want to go. And I already see myself there and I feel that. And to be able to already embody that feeling, I know it's going to happen. And so it's easy for me to put in the work, put in the groundwork,
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
when I know that I'm going to be there because, you know, Billy Carson could explain this as well, but like everything exists at the same time anyway. So I'm my little me, I'm my present me, and I'm my future me all at once.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
A lot of rock bottoms, a lot of scary rock bottoms, a lot of really sad rock bottoms, losing relationships, you know, my own physical danger, losing my career, like all of these things. But the moment I got sober, it was the first time I had experienced like a spiritual intervention because that's really... I can still cry thinking about this moment because it was so visceral.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I love that question. It's very easy for me to be like, no, I like it here. It's really cozy and safe and I'm good. But no, I have this insatiable desire to keep going. I just have this feeling. you know, I'm obviously going to keep acting and I love what I do, but I have this feeling that in the next decade of my life, something's going to shift and change like an element of my career.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And I know that I need to be really dialed in and ready for it. I've literally not one clue what it is. I couldn't tell you. I believe it has to do with speaking, connecting with people, service. You know, it really is a passion of mine connecting with people. And so I need to be ready for that. So the dragon that must be slayed is being afraid of visibility. I think like, it's so interesting.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But that's a persona. But a lot of that's a persona.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Well, I feel like I do show up as myself, but there isn't part of it.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Right. And I have had this whole thing my entire life of like, look at me, look at me. And then everyone looks at me and I was like, why are you looking at me? It's kind of, and that is just me in a nutshell.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
it doesn't make sense to me at all how both of those things could exist at the same time. Like desperately wanting to be seen, but in a genuine way, but also feeling exposed when I end. And so I'm really thinking, that's why it's like so great to be having these conversations because We're talking about a lot of exposing vulnerable things. It's not a character.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
No, and I'm showing up as me and just learning to be okay with it and not second-guessing anything I said on my drive home today. Just knowing that whatever I said was the right thing that needed to be said. That's beautiful. Yeah, so the dragon would be slaying the dragon of fear of being fully seen.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
yeah so um i have a movie coming out well we have to finish it first but it's called white mars and it's a sci-fi thriller yeah i see that very fun that will probably come out next year okay and it's filming you're filming here uh in london we're gonna we filmed part of it in italy last year and so we have a few pickups to do okay um and then the release you're talking about we didn't even know the release was going out but it's a project that's in development at netflix and it
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's a book that I first read five years ago. And it's the first project I've been a part of from the very beginning where I was like, I have to make this into something. And, you know, it's a true story of believing in something and good things take time because it's been, you know, five years of, assembling the right team.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And, you know, Netflix is obviously a dream, like such a dream place for it. And I'm doing a rom-com in Ireland this summer called Princess. And then a few other things that I possibly, it's a little too early to say, but I will say, I love where my career's at. And when I started putting myself first, my career only blossomed as well.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
That's just like a great byproduct of choosing yourself as other things start to flourish.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
If you want to see pictures of my dogs, like me spilling my coffee, me talking about astrology, yes, that is the best place to find me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It was... Where were you?
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I was in Austin, Texas. Okay. I love Austin. I need to go back and make new memories there. But it wasn't like a crazy time. Like nothing really quote unquote bad happened.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Wow. That I've learned.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I feel like one major thing is we are all so connected in ways that we can't even possibly imagine. I'm talking from the trees to the animals, especially humans. And there is a oneness that I've experienced that, um, Once that like light bulb goes off for you like so much of the I Don't know.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I feel like when I discovered that like It just made me have so much empathy for other people just realizing like we all share a Consciousness and like your success is my success your pain is my pain, you know for better or worse We're all connected and I think that like never losing sight of that is really really important because I think we are
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
We grow up in a world that wants to separate us by religion, by politics, by culture, by clothing, by whatever it is. And that, um, dividedness causes obviously a lot of pain and chaos, but we are all so connected. Um, okay. That's one. Um, um, um, okay. And the other one, this is hard. This is hard. Two other truths. I would say that.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I already kind of said this, but we are the creator of our own realities. We can take full control. There's no need to, you know, blame anyone else, but we, our minds are so powerful and just like really remembering that innate source energy that we all have, like it's there. And I get so excited when I see people I know tap into it. And then the third.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, I had in the past, but this time it wasn't. I just remember I woke up and it was almost just like I knew that if I did not change my life from that moment forward, I was going to lose everything.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh my gosh, I'm having to like go to the depths of my brain. Repeat the question one more time.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Three lessons. There are no mistakes in life. There are things we could do differently with the knowledge we have, but there are no mistakes. There are no coincidences. I believe everything has a purpose and a place and a lesson and everything is always working for.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's important to take those moments and really, I needed that. Thank you.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
My definition of greatness is Okay, how do I word this? I feel like my brain, I see like blocks of thought, but articulating it is so hard. My definition of greatness is recognizing that your greatness is gonna look different every day. Some days your 100% is gonna be 50% a different day. And just always knowing that that's okay.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And always knowing that, I mean, it just goes back to that alignment thing. being in alignment is greatness, you know, and you make up your own definition of what greatness is. That's what's great about being human. We give meaning to things. So like my meaning of greatness is going to differ from yours. It's going to differ from everyone else's. And to me, that is greatness.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
And maybe even my life. Like it was that it was that clear to me and it was a sensation I felt and I felt the presence of you know, a higher power that loved me a lot and was like, listen, listen, girl, you know, it's not too late because I felt like it was too late because I had tried for years and years and years.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Like how cool that we can have our own definition of things and perception of things. But I think, yeah, for me, it's, it's recognizing that whatever greatness is to me, it's going to look different on any given day. And today it's good conversation. It's being open, meeting with integrity, my favorite word.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's not being afraid of the scary, you know, and just showing up as me, like showing up as yourself is the greatest gift you can give the world.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Oh my God. Dream come true.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Seriously. Dream come true.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
So I didn't start all the spiritual stuff until that's the place I'm in now.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
But I mean like rehab, inpatient, outpatient, every type of medication. You know, I did try religion. I tried everything. Everything. And nothing really... nothing stuck for me. And I really think that's because I believe patterns repeat in your life until all the lessons are learned. The same people will keep showing up. You'll keep making the same habits.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Everything will continue on until you've like really wrung out that rag of all the lessons. And my God, for some reason, my soul's like, no, again, again, again. And I really did
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
learn a lot about myself and and you know through those 15 years of what I was running away from I mean I didn't even realize until I actually got sober and like had the clarity and clear mind for a year like how much sadness and rage and anger I was holding on to that was so old wow like it felt ancient and
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I, you know, that really is my biggest lesson in being sober is being able to speak up for myself and set boundaries for myself and honor my truth because that is why I was drinking. I was drinking not because I like to take tequila shots and like run loose in the streets of LA. No, I was drinking because that in some weird way allowed me to be
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
to unleash these like parts of myself that I really didn't want to, I felt like I couldn't behave that way in my normal life. And so I do have a lot of darkness in me and a lot of depth and a lot of, I don't know, whatever you want to call it. And, and it scared me, I think a lot of my life, but now I kind of run towards that because I think people who
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
struggle in this way or struggle with anything it's just because we're afraid of our own power and and I'm not anymore and I if you can't tell I love talking about this because I This was bottled up for a really long time because I was like, well, I can't talk about it because no one's going to hire me. Like I can't talk about it. No one's going to want to date me. I can't talk about it.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
People are going to be scared of me. But when I first spoke about this a couple of years ago on another podcast, the amount of people that I have connected with and the amount of people who are like, that helped me get sober or that helped me realize like how I'm sabotaging my life. And that's why we talk about these things. That's why you do what you do.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It's because it's so important to be that ripple effect in someone else's life.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I mean, the funny thing about my old friend alcohol is that it starts out as a really good friend, right? Like, it's sneaky and, but I wanna talk to you because you don't drink.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Okay, I need to, I'm gonna circle back around to this because.
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Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Not for me.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
Okay. But not for me. So this, so there are certain people who like, it blew my mind that people could just have a glass of wine because if Lucy over here had a glass of wine, like I'd be buying the whole place. Yeah. Your mom shots like two hours later.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
I am an extremist, which is a blessing and a curse, but you can't say I ever didn't like go 100% with drinking because I went. And, and the other thing is, I never knew if it was going to be fun or if it was going to be, you know, blacked out crying on the phone to, you know, someone I'm going to regret talking to. Um, but I used alcohol. Yeah. So it was a slow creep up.
The School of Greatness
Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
It wasn't, it was always very clear looking back in hindsight that I was a binge drinker from the beginning. Um, But I would say around like early 20s because I went to rehab at 23. Wow. Yep. And I, that didn't work. It did for a little bit, but.