Maddie

But so I did start getting into the service industry and I'm still in the service industry now. I love it. I it's a love hate relationship, but I will I feel like I'll forever be entwined in it. With the service industry also comes, you know, the service industry people who all like to drink and smoke pot and do coke and get fucked up after work. And that's how we cope.

But so I did start getting into the service industry and I'm still in the service industry now. I love it. I it's a love hate relationship, but I will I feel like I'll forever be entwined in it. With the service industry also comes, you know, the service industry people who all like to drink and smoke pot and do coke and get fucked up after work. And that's how we cope.

And so I fell into that at a very young age. Yeah. As soon as I moved up here at 18, I fell into that. In fact, whenever I was 19, I got my first DWI. I was working at a bar in Fort Worth and. We went across the street. We closed and we closed at two in the morning and we went across the street. Very illegal, by the way. I went across the street to a bar and drink after hours.

And so I fell into that at a very young age. Yeah. As soon as I moved up here at 18, I fell into that. In fact, whenever I was 19, I got my first DWI. I was working at a bar in Fort Worth and. We went across the street. We closed and we closed at two in the morning and we went across the street. Very illegal, by the way. I went across the street to a bar and drink after hours.

And it was just kind of for like the service industry people. Yeah. So that's where I was. And I remember being. And I also didn't drink just to casually have fun. I liked the feeling of being out of my fucking mind. I didn't want to just drink and have fun. I wanted to get fucked up. I was on a mission.

And it was just kind of for like the service industry people. Yeah. So that's where I was. And I remember being. And I also didn't drink just to casually have fun. I liked the feeling of being out of my fucking mind. I didn't want to just drink and have fun. I wanted to get fucked up. I was on a mission.

I think that's what I liked. And again, that's kind of like where I also say I relate to my dad in a lot of ways is because I crave that addiction. Yeah. I still crave alcohol because this is so fucked up because I miss that feeling of being out of my mind. Like I know there is nothing else in the world that will make me feel like that ever again.

I think that's what I liked. And again, that's kind of like where I also say I relate to my dad in a lot of ways is because I crave that addiction. Yeah. I still crave alcohol because this is so fucked up because I miss that feeling of being out of my mind. Like I know there is nothing else in the world that will make me feel like that ever again.

And that's so fucked up because that's what like, you know, destroyed my life. But now looking back on it, I still crave it so much.

And that's so fucked up because that's what like, you know, destroyed my life. But now looking back on it, I still crave it so much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I loved, like, people are like, I don't really like drinking because I don't like being out of control. I'm like, fuck control. Like, I just want to go to sleep. Like, zanned out, baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I loved, like, people are like, I don't really like drinking because I don't like being out of control. I'm like, fuck control. Like, I just want to go to sleep. Like, zanned out, baby.

But I still to this day crave that feeling. So that's why I still say, you know, my husband was in the car the other day and he was like, why do you still consider yourself an alcoholic? And I was like, every single day I think about it. Like, I know that's scary to hear, but it's the God honest truth.

But I still to this day crave that feeling. So that's why I still say, you know, my husband was in the car the other day and he was like, why do you still consider yourself an alcoholic? And I was like, every single day I think about it. Like, I know that's scary to hear, but it's the God honest truth.

You know, like every day, you know, some days are easier than others, but there's, especially now that I've picked up serving shifts on the weekend, And like gone back into that environment, I like sometimes I'm like, dang, it really sucks that I can't go get a drink with my coworkers after this.

You know, like every day, you know, some days are easier than others, but there's, especially now that I've picked up serving shifts on the weekend, And like gone back into that environment, I like sometimes I'm like, dang, it really sucks that I can't go get a drink with my coworkers after this.