Maddie

So they put this little device on top of your head and it literally like stimulates portions of your brain that are supposed to like make you happy. Wow, okay. Yeah. And the first treatment- And once a day for 60 days? Yeah. Is that what it is? Okay. And once I did the first treatment, I felt amazing. Like I've never felt this good in my life. I've never been this happy, never been this motivated.

Like I was getting up at six in the morning, going at my treatment, coming home, like fully doing all the floors and cleaning the entire house and then going to work. Like I was on top of it. So since I did so well, I asked if I could get a second round. And they said yes, of course, because my insurance covered it. And I had really great insurance at the time.

Like I was getting up at six in the morning, going at my treatment, coming home, like fully doing all the floors and cleaning the entire house and then going to work. Like I was on top of it. So since I did so well, I asked if I could get a second round. And they said yes, of course, because my insurance covered it. And I had really great insurance at the time.

I did not respond well to this treatment the second time. I started getting so paranoid. I thought people were following me. I went manic. I started talking to my customers all crazy. I was still at this job. I thought... Was it like just too much? Yeah.

I did not respond well to this treatment the second time. I started getting so paranoid. I thought people were following me. I went manic. I started talking to my customers all crazy. I was still at this job. I thought... Was it like just too much? Yeah.

Yeah. It was just like overstimulating. And like I... I can't blame anything else other than the TMS. It's just like one day, like I thought Max was cheating on me with like zero, zero evidence. Like Max is really at home sleeping in bed. I have his location and I'm literally like, oh, the neighbor sleep, the neighbor skipping over and like fucking him.

Yeah. It was just like overstimulating. And like I... I can't blame anything else other than the TMS. It's just like one day, like I thought Max was cheating on me with like zero, zero evidence. Like Max is really at home sleeping in bed. I have his location and I'm literally like, oh, the neighbor sleep, the neighbor skipping over and like fucking him.

Like, I have no idea where these thoughts came from, what triggered it or like what was going on, but I needed help again.

Like, I have no idea where these thoughts came from, what triggered it or like what was going on, but I needed help again.

I was.

I was.

And also, in a weird way, I think selling it also kind of helped me too because selling it, it's so regulated and everything is so much accounted for that you cannot get away with opening a bottle and drinking half of it and then going trying to drop that bottle off to a bar to sell it. You can't get away with that. So that's also something that really helped me at that job was...

And also, in a weird way, I think selling it also kind of helped me too because selling it, it's so regulated and everything is so much accounted for that you cannot get away with opening a bottle and drinking half of it and then going trying to drop that bottle off to a bar to sell it. You can't get away with that. So that's also something that really helped me at that job was...

No, not just seeing it. I think the only reason, like the only way I really kind of miss it is like after those shifts or like after a long day or like at our Christmas party, you know, like everybody was drinking at our Christmas party.

No, not just seeing it. I think the only reason, like the only way I really kind of miss it is like after those shifts or like after a long day or like at our Christmas party, you know, like everybody was drinking at our Christmas party.

Yeah. But honestly, as long as I can have a shot of Coke with everybody else whenever they're all cheersing or if I can drink sparkling water out of a wine glass, that'll make me feel better about it. But it's just small things like that that I do. Right. So whenever I started going crazy and manic, Bonnie stepped in again because she's my boss. Yeah. She was like, hey, girl.

Yeah. But honestly, as long as I can have a shot of Coke with everybody else whenever they're all cheersing or if I can drink sparkling water out of a wine glass, that'll make me feel better about it. But it's just small things like that that I do. Right. So whenever I started going crazy and manic, Bonnie stepped in again because she's my boss. Yeah. She was like, hey, girl.

But this time I was like, I don't need rehab. And I'm not going to a mental hospital. I don't need that. I'm just going to try to ride this out. I don't know what to tell you, but I'm not taking off. And Bonnie was like, OK. I mean, there's nothing else I can do. So then I just kind of stopped working. I just kind of got in my own head like,

But this time I was like, I don't need rehab. And I'm not going to a mental hospital. I don't need that. I'm just going to try to ride this out. I don't know what to tell you, but I'm not taking off. And Bonnie was like, OK. I mean, there's nothing else I can do. So then I just kind of stopped working. I just kind of got in my own head like,

just cooped up in the house in my room just going stir crazy destroying property like destroying my phone um getting new number like I got two new numbers um just insane behavior uh finally 2023 April 1st Bonnie calls me and she said hey we can't do this anymore like yeah love you but