Madeline Berenson

So I had boarded the plane to Portland, Oregon, where I was headed for my grandson's third birthday.

And in my hand I had my boarding pass, and on my boarding pass was printed my row and seat, 8B.

And when I got to row 8, I saw that the women in seats A and C both had gray hair.

And since I am also a woman with gray hair, I found it kind of funny to be completing this little trio of crones on a plane.

And when I sat down and I got a better look at my seat mates, I saw that it was even funnier than I thought because each of us had a very distinct style that reflected a different persona.

So we were kind of like, you know, the Spice Girls, Granny Edition.

The woman in the window seat, seat A, was fit and thin and she was wearing all Patagonia.

Sporty granny.

The woman in the aisle seat was wearing this drapey velvet dress and a crystal necklace.

Mystic granny.

And I was in the middle in one of my cotton vintage dresses that I paid like $3 for.

Drift store granny.

So all put together in a row like this, we look like a real time 3D Buzzfeed quiz.

Which modern, funky granny are you?

And I was kind of proud of that, and I was feeling very pleased with myself about the way we were redefining the post-menopausal woman, right?

Like, look at this world.

You don't have to devolve into the stereotypical, cranky, judgmental, busybody who's in love with Barry Manilow.

You know, you can still be yourself.

Not that there's anything wrong with Barry Manilow.

Anyway, then this gorgeous couple comes on the plane and stops at the row in front of us, row seven.