Mallory Ervin

life shifting things that have, that's ever happened to me in my life. And what happened was I walk into this hair salon and, um, they were going to take my hair extensions out because they were halfway falling out. And, uh, you know, for 10 years, I'd never had them out of my head. And I don't think I really thought about that.

life shifting things that have, that's ever happened to me in my life. And what happened was I walk into this hair salon and, um, they were going to take my hair extensions out because they were halfway falling out. And, uh, you know, for 10 years, I'd never had them out of my head. And I don't think I really thought about that.

And so they took all these extensions out of my hair and I was faced backwards. So I So they did that first before they were getting ready to color my hair. And I can still remember there was a silver tray next to me. And I can remember seeing her take these permanent extensions out of my hair and putting them on this silver tray beside me.

And so they took all these extensions out of my hair and I was faced backwards. So I So they did that first before they were getting ready to color my hair. And I can still remember there was a silver tray next to me. And I can remember seeing her take these permanent extensions out of my hair and putting them on this silver tray beside me.

And when she turned my chair around and I looked in the mirror, I had an out-of-body experience and my life like flashed before my eyes. Really? It was very bizarre. And I was so emotional that my hair was out. My hair was like two inches long underneath that. It was all different colors because I had two inches of dark roots. And I had just never seen myself like that.

And when she turned my chair around and I looked in the mirror, I had an out-of-body experience and my life like flashed before my eyes. Really? It was very bizarre. And I was so emotional that my hair was out. My hair was like two inches long underneath that. It was all different colors because I had two inches of dark roots. And I had just never seen myself like that.

And I think also just everything that I'd gone through, I was a different version of the person that I'd expected to become. And it was so emotional and so visceral, this reaction that I had. And then she went on to say, okay, now we're going to color your roots. And I was already having this moment. I was like, okay. So she colored my hair and it ended up not going well.

And I think also just everything that I'd gone through, I was a different version of the person that I'd expected to become. And it was so emotional and so visceral, this reaction that I had. And then she went on to say, okay, now we're going to color your roots. And I was already having this moment. I was like, okay. So she colored my hair and it ended up not going well.

And so it was like orange and white stripes and it was two inches long and it was, then she had to cut it. And I got back in the white van and they drove me back to the treatment center and I walked straight into my counselor. And I said, I know you guys think you know what you're doing with me and with my case.

And so it was like orange and white stripes and it was two inches long and it was, then she had to cut it. And I got back in the white van and they drove me back to the treatment center and I walked straight into my counselor. And I said, I know you guys think you know what you're doing with me and with my case.

And I know you guys know, think you know what you're doing with me, but you don't because now I feel worthless. I've never felt the way that I've felt about myself. Now I want to go out on the streets and do the hard drugs. I don't even want to like live anymore because I felt so terrible about myself. And I was like, I want to go home.

And I know you guys know, think you know what you're doing with me, but you don't because now I feel worthless. I've never felt the way that I've felt about myself. Now I want to go out on the streets and do the hard drugs. I don't even want to like live anymore because I felt so terrible about myself. And I was like, I want to go home.

And I almost left treatment that day because it was such a, I'd never felt so worthless in my life. taking out my hair extensions.

And I almost left treatment that day because it was such a, I'd never felt so worthless in my life. taking out my hair extensions.

It was the first part of my shell that they were cracking. And I didn't even realize, Jamie, that I was so attached to my parents. Cause I'd never been like attached to my parents growing up. I was never like the prettiest one in the room. I was always, I always had a talent and that's always kind of what I stood on. And

It was the first part of my shell that they were cracking. And I didn't even realize, Jamie, that I was so attached to my parents. Cause I'd never been like attached to my parents growing up. I was never like the prettiest one in the room. I was always, I always had a talent and that's always kind of what I stood on. And

pageants and like things around my looks was never even anything that was in my future. I really wanted to be a representative for my state. And I knew talent was 35% of the score at Miss America. I mean, I'm five feet tall. Like I didn't ever think I was going to do a pageant.

pageants and like things around my looks was never even anything that was in my future. I really wanted to be a representative for my state. And I knew talent was 35% of the score at Miss America. I mean, I'm five feet tall. Like I didn't ever think I was going to do a pageant.

But I think that something changed in me that year when they started talking about, because it's essentially like, you know, what our parents called them is beauty queens. You know, we were beauty queens. And I think that I had started to really become attached to to my appearance and to the person that I was. And that was the first real tick away at that.

But I think that something changed in me that year when they started talking about, because it's essentially like, you know, what our parents called them is beauty queens. You know, we were beauty queens. And I think that I had started to really become attached to to my appearance and to the person that I was. And that was the first real tick away at that.