Mallory Ervin
speaker
199 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Mallory Ervin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And I think, Jamie, you cannot access the incredible life that like, I feel like I'm leading right now, this incredible life. I couldn't have accessed that had I not gone through that. So if you're a person that nobody knows what you're going through, right now and you're sitting there and you're thinking, I feel totally hopeless. I hate my life. Maybe you're like I was.
I'm not going to live another six weeks. I will physically die. If you can have the strength and the courage to make it through this and walk through this, you can access the most incredible life. You cannot imagine the life that you can access. But you oftentimes have to be the person.
I was very lucky to have my parents and people on the outside see that there was something wrong and they stepped in. But sometimes, Jamie, people don't have that person. And sometimes people have to be the person that chooses to walk into this fire. And it is the most daunting thing ever to think about walking into a treatment center or approaching a person about help.
Because there is a hard part that you have to walk through to access that beautiful life on the other side. But my Lord, if I can just scream one thing from the rooftops till the end of my life, it would be, in a way like you are the lucky one, because if you, if you have that sort of low, you can have this sort of life on the other side.
And it's only accessible through going through the blazing fire that is walking through addiction or walking through leaving an abusive relationship or walking through a really scary career change or a complete reinvention. Um, what you get on the other side is so amazing. So I would say to that person, like, remember what's on the other side.
Don't just think about the pain and the hard stuff and the embarrassment and all that stuff. Cause that's, that's all going to be in the middle, but I want you to think of the other side. Cause it's, it is so awesome. It is so awesome. And it is the reality.
If you walk into any AA meeting, if you talk to anybody, like look at all the people that we look up to and that you've already had on the Jamie Kern Lima show. Look, the Oprahs and the Ed Milets and the Robin Roberts, every single one of them has a story of walking through the fire.
Yes. Oh, I'm so glad that you said that. Yes, that is a fact. That is a fact that we talk about that people love you the most for your authentic self and all of these things over and over. But I want to tell you the story of how I told my family, essentially, and what I was met with. So, okay, we grew up on this farm.
So my grandparents are in the middle, and we're all surrounding them on this big, beautiful piece of property. My whole life, I was an example to these people.
Yes. They were proud of me. And I was a good example in every single category, Jamie. You want to talk about academics? I was valedictorian in my class. You want to talk about like, you know, singing? I was on every single stage in our hometown and then like national. They were just so proud. They were just so proud of me.
You're a role model for our kids. Yes. They said the night of Miss America, you could walk out on your back porch. It's a farming community and that it's a live show, you know, and obviously you see the contestant going from the next level to the next level. They said that you could hear from across the cornfields.
You could hear people screaming and cheering and like that my whole town supported me, not just my family. But my family, I have an incredible, amazing family that has always been very legacy focused. Why are you here and what are we doing in the world? And we can change the world.
And like, you know, we did this thing where we would come together once a year, we would come together quarterly and like have meetings and stuff, but once a year and we would come. And even though we lived on the same farm, we would go on this like trip together and we would all go to this place. And
we would stay and we would play the same slide show of my grandparents, like our family story and our legacy, what we stand for and how many times my grandpa's like entrepreneurial endeavors failed. And like, we all knew this story, but we would retell it and we would come together and we would talk about like who we wanted to be in the world. And, what we were doing in our lives.
And, you know, we were kids. We were, I was the oldest and they started this when I was in college. But some of my cousins were five years old and they're talking about legacy and like, how do you want to show up in the world? And like, that's what kind of family I came from. And, and yeah, we'd heard the stories about my grandpa's failures in the entrepreneurial business, but he always succeeded.
And like, he always made it through and he never had to declare bankruptcy. And it was always like, here's our pain point in our family, but like, here we are overcoming. So when I went to treatment, I was very isolated from my family when things were getting really bad. So I don't think people knew how bad it was getting for me. And so I went to this program.
And I was about four months into the program or five months into the program when our annual family legacy thing was, trip was. And it was this little like these sets of cabins called Evans Mill. It's in Tennessee. And we would all come together in this great room. And we had different segments where we were talking about different things.
And they had decided that what I was going to do and my counselors and everything at treatment were like, this is going to be really good for you. You should stand up and you should talk about what you're going through to your family. And like my family knew that I was in a program. But I had literally never shared a failure or failure.
I don't think anyone in our family had ever shared a failure while they were in it where it wasn't like the, and this is what happened from it, and this is on the other side. So I had to stand in front of my family and all my cousins, all my aunts and uncles, our advisors, and like all the people that I loved, that loved me, and had to tell them
what I was going through and what I was learning in treatment about myself and how I'd gotten there. And I was so nervous to, to stand up there. And it was the first time I'd ever shared any story of failure in front of the people that like, I love so much. And I was so afraid that I,
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