Mallory Ervin

And it was like such, when I tell you, like my whole body felt something. And I was so, I never felt that worthless. And I think I share this story because, and I was afraid to open my book with this because I was like, I don't want women reading this and be like, oh really? I can't connect with you. Like you had that moment over your hair extensions. Like I've gone through actual trauma.

And it was like such, when I tell you, like my whole body felt something. And I was so, I never felt that worthless. And I think I share this story because, and I was afraid to open my book with this because I was like, I don't want women reading this and be like, oh really? I can't connect with you. Like you had that moment over your hair extensions. Like I've gone through actual trauma.

That was actually like that big of a low point for me. And I think that so many women,

That was actually like that big of a low point for me. And I think that so many women,

to attach our self-worth to our appearance and as we start to age and as we can't really control what we look like and we start looking we we start looking different and I think people don't know what's happening to them and I didn't know that I was becoming that attached to that until they took that away from me and that was the first thing that they did for me uh

to attach our self-worth to our appearance and as we start to age and as we can't really control what we look like and we start looking we we start looking different and I think people don't know what's happening to them and I didn't know that I was becoming that attached to that until they took that away from me and that was the first thing that they did for me uh

I say for me now, but like back then, I thought it was the worst thing that they did to me back in treatment. But it was truly the thing that like it revealed to me something that was really crippling me. And we started to work through it. And then it was about a month later. And, you know, okay, I've gotten used to the hair extensions being out. Now I'm not as attached to my appearance.

I say for me now, but like back then, I thought it was the worst thing that they did to me back in treatment. But it was truly the thing that like it revealed to me something that was really crippling me. And we started to work through it. And then it was about a month later. And, you know, okay, I've gotten used to the hair extensions being out. Now I'm not as attached to my appearance.

But I was still singing at this little chapel that we had where everybody's families would kind of come. And it was just this moment where I could set myself apart from people because I still was able to show my talent. Mm-hmm. And be like, okay, yes, here I am in rehab. And here I am looking like this, different than I've ever looked before. And I also gained 30 pounds in treatment.

But I was still singing at this little chapel that we had where everybody's families would kind of come. And it was just this moment where I could set myself apart from people because I still was able to show my talent. Mm-hmm. And be like, okay, yes, here I am in rehab. And here I am looking like this, different than I've ever looked before. And I also gained 30 pounds in treatment.

So I felt overweight and like all of these things. And I'd kind of become okay with that. And they said to me again, they said, you're going to take a break from singing and chapel. And that was really another shift for me because then I had nothing. Mm-hmm. I felt so average and like everyone else and like I looked different and I was different.

So I felt overweight and like all of these things. And I'd kind of become okay with that. And they said to me again, they said, you're going to take a break from singing and chapel. And that was really another shift for me because then I had nothing. Mm-hmm. I felt so average and like everyone else and like I looked different and I was different.

And I was like, now you're going to tell me I can't talk about being anything that I'd done, Miss Kentucky or Miss America or The Amazing Race. You know what's funny, too, is my third season of Amazing Race was airing while I was in treatment.

And I was like, now you're going to tell me I can't talk about being anything that I'd done, Miss Kentucky or Miss America or The Amazing Race. You know what's funny, too, is my third season of Amazing Race was airing while I was in treatment.

And they let us watch TV on Sunday nights and they would turn on TV and like there I was and they would like turn it off or they would turn the channel because they like they didn't want me to talk about. They wouldn't let me cling to that old self because they were doing so much work of stripping that away and showing me what was underneath it and making me okay with what was underneath it.

And they let us watch TV on Sunday nights and they would turn on TV and like there I was and they would like turn it off or they would turn the channel because they like they didn't want me to talk about. They wouldn't let me cling to that old self because they were doing so much work of stripping that away and showing me what was underneath it and making me okay with what was underneath it.

Because I had the self-confidence. I believed that I was enough. Even going through what I was going through in treatment when I could still say to people, but I did this and listen to me sing. And, you know, it was the last little shred of my old self and my shiny shield that I was holding out to other people.

Because I had the self-confidence. I believed that I was enough. Even going through what I was going through in treatment when I could still say to people, but I did this and listen to me sing. And, you know, it was the last little shred of my old self and my shiny shield that I was holding out to other people.

And they really knew what they were doing with me because that's when I really did the real work because I had nothing left. And I just felt... what I think a lot of women feel their whole lives for the first time. I felt that. And I didn't want to live like that. And they taught me in three months of work that I did.

And they really knew what they were doing with me because that's when I really did the real work because I had nothing left. And I just felt... what I think a lot of women feel their whole lives for the first time. I felt that. And I didn't want to live like that. And they taught me in three months of work that I did.