Mallory Ervin
speaker
199 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Mallory Ervin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Not that they would be disappointed in me because I knew the kind of family that I was from and I knew that they would support me in whatever I had to go through because we loved each other deeply. But I did feel like, you know, they wouldn't see me as the same, that it would kind of like erase all the things that I'd done in my past and that they'd see me like a little bit different.
So I stood up there and I shared everything and nobody really said anything. And at the end of it, they all, they clapped for me and they were all clapping and, and saying like, we're so proud of you. And I remember my uncle being like, wow, we're so proud of you. They're all wrestling coaches. And they were, it was like, they were cheering me on, you know, we're so proud of you.
And how can we support you as a family? And, um, what can we do better to make it easier on you and, um, They loved me, and I was on an even higher pedestal to them.
And it was one of those moments that I'll never forget. You always hope that the people around you will accept you for who you are and the things that you go through in life. But so often, Jamie, people love you 10 times more for those things, those failures and those dark things and those— oh, the things that are just so tough to bring to the surface, they loved me even more for it.
And there have been so many times in my family that we've dealt with hard things since I went through that over 10 years ago. And they come straight to me. And they're like, hey, Mal, this is going on. And now I'm the person that can help other people. And I don't know why it's human nature to believe that those things will make people... see us in a worse light, in a different light, certainly.
And it still is a different light. Because so many times it's proven over and over that people love you so much more for showing up as you are with all of those things in tow, on display. And I'm so happy that what happened to me happened to me because I don't know that I ever would have learned that lesson.
because it's a lesson that I had to be pushed into. I really admire people who can just own it and show up and be like, I'm going to take this chance and show my real colors because I had to be pushed into it because I was really in deep with needing to remain the person that I thought I needed to be for everyone else.
And I'm really glad that I hit that rock bottom and I was forced to, through this recovery program, Figure out this truth because it is truth.
Oh yeah. A hundred percent. I struggle still probably today with workaholism. And I think that Like we just said in the beginning of this podcast, it's so hard because the brands that I'm building are, it's a motivational, true, like helping women brand. Or it's these amazing sweatshirts or it's these pajamas that like I'm so proud of. And it's all like really good stuff. Yeah.
And I think that I can get addicted to that just like I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Just like before that, I was addicted to achievement.
Just like before that, I was addicted to being a role model and example to my cousins. I certainly think that cross addictions are a real thing. And I think that at the root of all that, it is just accepting ourselves for who we are and where we are. And I think as a person that has an addictive personality too, I'm always looking for that hit somewhere.
And sometimes when I achieve something in my work or something really works out, It can feel the same in my brain. So I think that I know that going through what I went through in recovery, I learned a lot. So I notice now when those things are happening when I was unaware before and I can do something about it. But I also think that life is a constant process.
we need to be like looking at our lives at all times and being like, what are the things that I need to change? Because it's not just like, okay. I went to treatment and now I'm good for the rest of my life. Or I worked out one time and now I'm fit. You know, it is a constant, um, that's what living fully, I think is, it is constantly choosing to, no, I want to live. I don't want to live here.
I want to live here. You know, no, I don't want to do, I can do this better. I can be a better parent or be a better person in my business. I can be a better boss. I can be a healthier person. I can do that thing less. Um, it's, it's a constant re-awareness and yes, cross addictions are real things.
I was actually in treatment with a lady who had been sober for like 20 or 30 years and she was there for a shopping addiction, you know, and she was sober from drugs and alcohol still. And she, and it was a really fascinating thing to see.
And I really appreciated her sharing her story because it, it made me aware that like, you know, when you let go of one thing, it's like you want to grab onto something else. And, uh, Yeah, I think it's a natural tendency of the human being. For sure. What role does faith play in your life? Oh, gosh. Faith has played... Faith has been...
at the top of my pyramid in the very worst times in my life and in the very best times in my life. When I was at the very end of the road with, right before I went to treatment, I used to run, I lived on Music Row in Nashville, Tennessee. And the church that I went to was two miles from where I used to live. And I used to say the rosary and I would run, say the rosary all the way to this church.
And I would go into this church and there was nobody in this church. And I was really, really struggling. And I couldn't really pinpoint what it was. I didn't see it as like, this is addiction, but I felt so hopeless and so far from the person that I knew I wanted to be.
And I was really disappointed in myself and what I'd become after how I'd been raised and all these things that I achieved in my life. I was just really disappointed in what I had become because I just couldn't achieve anymore. I couldn't keep a job. And I felt like my family was starting to pull away from me because I was becoming unpleasant to be around. I was just a shell of a person.
And I used to go into this church and I would light candles and I would kneel down in front of like the altar. And I would like, I can remember like it would be in the summer because I went to treatment in the spring and I would like press my arms down on the floor and it was like this marble floor and it was like so cold. And I would just be, I would just say like, I'm sorry.
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