Mallory Ervin

I loved the person underneath that without all of those things more than I loved the person that I went into treatment as. With all of those accolades and achievements and achieving all of those dreams. Um, I walked out of there, you know, 35 pounds heavier with two inch long hair, not talking about any of the stuff that I'd done, not singing in the chapel, not, and I loved that.

I loved the person underneath that without all of those things more than I loved the person that I went into treatment as. With all of those accolades and achievements and achieving all of those dreams. Um, I walked out of there, you know, 35 pounds heavier with two inch long hair, not talking about any of the stuff that I'd done, not singing in the chapel, not, and I loved that.

That was the closest to the person that I want to be than I've ever been in my life was take was without all of those things.

That was the closest to the person that I want to be than I've ever been in my life was take was without all of those things.

Yes, it is. And you know what was really hard about it and why I think I... I lived that way for so long. It's really hard when the thing that you're attached to is seen as a positive thing.

Yes, it is. And you know what was really hard about it and why I think I... I lived that way for so long. It's really hard when the thing that you're attached to is seen as a positive thing.

A talent. Or being Miss Kentucky and representing my state.

A talent. Or being Miss Kentucky and representing my state.

And you know, I can even remember, Jamie, like when I, even after, when you're Miss Kentucky, you walk into the room and you got a crown and banner on. You don't even have to like, that's the worst thing for a perfectionist because it's like, oh, you don't know who I am. Here you go, right here on the banner. Like, look, here I am, the queen. I used to introduce myself to people.

And you know, I can even remember, Jamie, like when I, even after, when you're Miss Kentucky, you walk into the room and you got a crown and banner on. You don't even have to like, that's the worst thing for a perfectionist because it's like, oh, you don't know who I am. Here you go, right here on the banner. Like, look, here I am, the queen. I used to introduce myself to people.

And this is the first clue to feeling probably unworthy. I needed them to know in the first minute and a half that I had done Miss America and The Amazing Race. And I needed them to know those things because I felt like that was the reason that they would want to continue the conversation for me. I didn't feel like enough, you know, just being me and showing up.

And this is the first clue to feeling probably unworthy. I needed them to know in the first minute and a half that I had done Miss America and The Amazing Race. And I needed them to know those things because I felt like that was the reason that they would want to continue the conversation for me. I didn't feel like enough, you know, just being me and showing up.

And I just had to have them know those types of things, especially as I got further and further from those things that I saw as big, shiny dreams. as I stopped achieving bigger things, I just started to feel worse and worse about myself. And I was so disappointed in myself. And I felt like so many people were disappointed in me for not doing bigger and bigger and bigger things.

And I just had to have them know those types of things, especially as I got further and further from those things that I saw as big, shiny dreams. as I stopped achieving bigger things, I just started to feel worse and worse about myself. And I was so disappointed in myself. And I felt like so many people were disappointed in me for not doing bigger and bigger and bigger things.

So when I would be just talking to you, if you and I were in a room, I would need to tell you all of those things about myself because of the lie that the world tells us. But I really believed that lie.

So when I would be just talking to you, if you and I were in a room, I would need to tell you all of those things about myself because of the lie that the world tells us. But I really believed that lie.

It is so impossibly hard. Yeah. A baby step to worthiness. I love that. I did this program in Nashville called Onsite. It's like a little, you know, three-day program. It's just like this cool transformative, like very like...

It is so impossibly hard. Yeah. A baby step to worthiness. I love that. I did this program in Nashville called Onsite. It's like a little, you know, three-day program. It's just like this cool transformative, like very like...

cool thing where it's called uh what's it called uh living centered living centered I was like centering something yes and that's a big thing there they were like don't you can't say what you do yes and it was really really hard and I'd already been through all of this stuff like and I already kind of felt good in my skin even without people and it was still really hard it was hard to not to ask other people what they did and I'm like why do we qualify I

cool thing where it's called uh what's it called uh living centered living centered I was like centering something yes and that's a big thing there they were like don't you can't say what you do yes and it was really really hard and I'd already been through all of this stuff like and I already kind of felt good in my skin even without people and it was still really hard it was hard to not to ask other people what they did and I'm like why do we qualify I