Mallory Ervin
speaker
199 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Mallory Ervin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I'm from a very faith-filled family, but I always felt the presence of God so strongly and saw so many signs that He existed and just felt that, that I feel like that was a gift that He gave me that I never doubted that He existed. Mm-hmm. I never doubted that he existed. And I would be around people that really questioned their faith.
And I would feel so lucky that I'd always felt that so strongly. And it wasn't like a blind faith. I see some people have a blind faith, just like, this is what I'm told. And this is what I read. And this is what, but I felt it in my bones. Like you knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I felt it. I would always ask for signs and stuff ever since I was a little girl.
And I would have some of the most insane experiences where I just, I knew he existed. And I knew that even in really hard times, like when I almost lost my life to addiction, when I watched my sister lose a baby, when I went through pregnancy losses, when I went through really hard things in my relationship. And in my career, I always knew He existed.
And then once I started going through hard things, And seeing what would happen on the other side and how much greater things would be on the other side and realizing that I had to go through that thing.
Then when I was in the middle of these hard things that were happening to me, I could say something that I couldn't say in the beginning, which was sometimes through gritted teeth, but thank you, God, for what I'm about to go through because I know it's about to change my life. And I said that, you know, we just lost a pregnancy.
pretty far along, and I had to have a D&C, and it was terrible, and we'd seen the heart beating, and the baby was fine, and all these things, and it was really hard. And even on the day where we showed up at that sonogram, and there was no more heart beating, I knew, gosh, I'm gonna have to walk this road again.
I still, I had faith in God, and I remembered the other side of all of those losses that You know, I lost four babies before I had my daughter. And when I look at my daughter, I would go through every one of those pregnancy losses once a year, every single year to get that child. I would. And I think that loss and hard things that happen in our lives
especially if we can see what happens on the other side. It's so much easier in a way. Losses are always hard and it's still hard to go through terrible things, but you can know that like, God is bringing me something greater on the other side. He has every single time. He has.
Yep. Undeniable faith. And you know what? My sister had that too. And she was the one that was like really in it. And I can still remember like after that happened and they took him off of life support and we came back to their house and like they had to walk out of a hospital without a baby. And she sat on her couch and she looked at me and she said, and I wrote about this in my book too.
And it was like so hard to write that chapter, but I was like, I got to write about this. You know, it's another hard thing that happens that people have happened in their lives. And I want to share this story. And the first thing she said was she looked at me and she hadn't lost her face. She looked at me and she said, do you feel like he's like a grown up angel or a baby angel in heaven.
Like she was still, she, she didn't lose her faith. It was really hard. And she was bawling, crying and she was upset and she was sad, but she did not doubt that the Lord was still up there. And then she saw her baby up there. And I think that people's experiences are different at the end of loss because some people are like screaming at God and some people lose their faith. And, um,
I think that different people's journeys are different, and I just hope that they can find their way back to faith. Because I do think that you can be really angry at what's happening, and you can question your faith and come back around to it. I think that people's journeys are different. Maybe you don't feel like I did, and you haven't always felt the presence of God.
Um, but I also feel like, uh, this is something that I heard someone say to me when I was a really little girl and I always prayed for it. I had a priest one time and he said, you need to pray, pray for hunger for God, pray for hunger for God. And I was like, what an interesting prayer.
And I started praying that when I was probably 10 years old, like I pray for hunger for God and I, and I pray to feel his presence in my life.
And I always did. And I think that maybe some people aren't praying that prayer. And I think that's a really great prayer to pray. Good one to start.
You know, he had a different faith journey. So I was raised Catholic by a big Catholic family that always, we were in church every Sunday and it was really solid. He was raised, his mom was Baptist and his dad was Catholic and he would alternate churches. And I think he has a really interesting faith perspective because here's what I think. I think it does not matter what religion you are.
I think if you believe in something greater than yourself, like it is all, we are all, I think, trying to get to the same place. It's just all different roads. And so he saw something that I didn't have the opportunity to see, which was two totally different faith walks, because there is a big difference in the way that a Catholic mass is said and the way that a Baptist service is.
And he, whenever we got married, he made the choice to become Catholic because we wanted to raise our kids in the same church. Because I think that there is beauty in that, but I also think that it is nice to streamline that and to go to the same church on Sunday just as part of a community.
But he always says... And I'd had not just my husband, but people that I had dated before whenever I was younger that always said, your faith has made my faith stronger. And he always says that to me. He's like... The way that I am, and he prays as much or more than I do now. And he prays with our kids as soon as we get in the car on the way to school.
And, you know, I'll be like, gosh, I haven't been praying with him later. I've been forgetting. He's like, I have. We pray on the way to school. Sometimes they pray for their pet turtle that is no longer living that they don't realize. But, you know, goofy little things. But like he, it has lifted his faith.
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