Manda Scott

I don't want to screw up this puppy.

I am pretty aware that 30 years ago or 40 years ago, the things that I thought were the right way to behave with a dog were not good.

And it may well be that if I were to live another 40 years, I would discover that the things we're doing now are not ideal.

But I am doing my absolute best to bring this pup up to be resilient, to have secure attachment, to be a really well-rounded little person in a world that is frankly going mad.

And I have a pretty perpetual fear.

I have several, actually.

Okay, let's split them up.

I am not giving her enough time.

That's one.

I don't have enough knowledge to do what I want to do.

That's hovering around the edges.

There's a kind of perpetual Presbyterian background.

Whatever I do is not good enough and I'm not working hard enough, which I think is slightly separate to each of these.

And I can feel the shape.

So let's pick the last one.

And if I am sensing inside and really let myself sink into

The reality of a part of me that believes that this is true, and I am not doing, this is not IFS therapy.

I'm not going to go and particularly talk to that part.

I could, and I might well do it later.

But at this moment, I am simply feeling into the physicality of that feeling.