Marie
Appearances
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
Don't come and sing that song to me, boys will be boys. I lost my child. Those kids, they get to go home. They get to be whoever they want to be. Well, my son wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to be a neurosurgeon. You just cut it up like that. And then what happened? Nothing. Nothing. And I have to take it like that? No. I lost my child. My one and only child. My good son. My beautiful son.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
And I remember he was five years old. One day he says to me, Mommy, will I ever have a father? I said, you had a father. Your father was big. Your father loved you very, very much.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
I have a big plaque for George. He did say hazing is the cause of death. And Cornell put it in the wall where all the students have to pass that wall to go sign up to become a brother or a sister to be part of the sorority. And they can read it. I want them to think because it's a crime. No parent should bury their children. Not when they are healthy.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
No parent should send their kids to college and not to have the police come and tell them something like that. Sometimes I walk on the street and I still hear the police voice in my head.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
He was the captain of the soccer team. Once George set his sights on a career, his dream school quickly became clear. Cornell was his choice from the beginning. When he got the letter from Cornell and he took it, went to his room, closed the door, and when he opened it, I just heard a scream. And I went and I said, what's going on? He said, I got accepted.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
What do brothers do for brothers? What do sisters do for sisters? We help each other. We talk.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
When it first happened, the humiliation that I went through, because everybody looking at me like, you know, oh, he was drinking, he was drinking. As a mom, I felt like I failed him. Maybe there is something I didn't tell him. Maybe there is something I forgot to say for him. But George did exactly everything he was supposed to do. He called the chaperone car to pick him up.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
And they decided that because they were planning a kidnapping to make their big brother happy. and my poor child become dead.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
The first person who called me, she called me from California. She said, Marie, I'm sorry for what you went through. If you want to talk, I'm here for you. I'm sorry you joined our club.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
And I still can hear his screams still today. He was so happy because that was the school he wanted to go to. And then when he find out they were going to give him all those scholarships, it was, to me, I was so happy.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
We spoke about drugs, we spoke about alcohol, we spoke about sex. I said to him, I know I'm not there, but please do not drink. Because when you drink, you drink to get drunk. I said, just be careful. And remember, because you have a goal, you cannot play with your life doing all those things.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
As for the fraternity, I didn't know anything about the fraternity. This is not something that came in my mind at all. This is that one conversation that I didn't have with him. And then I said, that's the only thing I didn't know anything. Because if I knew, I would ask questions. I would talk to him about it.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
He only told me about it after he did it, when he came home in December. And he says to me, I'm one of the brother now. And he explained to me, this is why he said, you see, I'm okay.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
We always talk every week. This is what was important. So he can call me anytime. I said, call me as you're going to your dorm or as you're going to school, to a class. This is the way he was. He never missed one Friday, except for that dreadful Friday.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
He was getting ready. He had two interviews because he had two internships coming. So he needed to prepare himself for the interview. He went to his girlfriend because she knows how to do interviews and he was practicing with her.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
I saw two police officers. I got a call from the police at Cornell to say that my son died in his sleep. And I said, no, that's not true. I spoke to him yesterday. He's fine. And they just said they couldn't look at me. And I think I fell on the floor and I was screaming. And then the next thing I know, they took me to the ER. And I still didn't know what happened.
Campus Files
The Hazing of George Desdunes
George, he was a child who wanted to learn everything. As a young age, he loves to read, love math and science.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
We're just glad you're feeling better. Yesterday wasn't great when you came in.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Hi, Dr. John. My question for you today is, gosh, just dealing with the I guess memories and like consequences and just struggles of my past and coming into a new marriage with a wonderful man. Um, yeah, it's just been, it's been hard and I'm just wanting to fully enjoy him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Um, but having that past and kind of thinking I had, you know, gotten through it and left it and was, um, yeah, moved, moved through it. But then you like bring a new person into your life and, um, Yeah, it's been hard.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah. I'm 28, and my husband and I met only a year ago. But we are both believers, and so just right away we knew that, like, this was the person God had been preparing us for.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah. I guess just, yeah, I mean, my past is a lot more like checkered with just a lot of different like strings of relationships and, um, kind of like finding my home and whoever I would be dating. Um, and my husband's wonderful. He waited for, you know, his wife. And so that's been such a blessing, but also just wishing I had had that to offer to him too.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Um, and I did share like upfront, like I was like, this is everything. And I wanted to be like fully known by him. And, um, I guess also like, there's an element that I feel like I, I wish I didn't like take him from someone better, you know? And I, I don't know why that's, that's a thing because we're so happy together. Truly. Like he's wonderful.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
I don't know. Okay, I'm worried. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
I guess, I mean, I guess I, I guess I think I am, you know, I have like, gosh, you just, I just go back and forth. I'm like, I wish I knew better. Like, I don't know. I just feel like I was, like, my brain wasn't even there until I was 25, you know?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I know I have a lot to offer him, and I just, like, I kind of, it's just more, I think it's just, like, the memories, you know? Like, those are going to be there no matter what.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah. I have wonderful parents, but it was just a really like stressful home. And I, They were trying to do what's best for me, and they kicked me out of the house at 18. I mean, they still supported me in other ways, but I just kind of felt like I had to find somewhere.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Just a really stressed out family. Okay. I don't have like a ton of memories of it, but my sister is older than me and she, you know, She held a lot of anger and then of what she went through. And I think I just blocked it out mostly. So what I remember of the stress is from like secondhand from her telling me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
My past is a lot more, like, checkered with strings of relationships. And my husband's wonderful. He waited for, you know, his life. And so that's been such a blessing. But also just wishing I had had that to offer to him, too. Why don't you think you're wonderful, Marie?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
He's awesome. He's kind of a redneck. He works on cars and he's... comes from a really good family. He's got a twin sister who loves him and his whole family is just wonderful. And I mean, he's in the military and he works on airplanes and he loves me. And I do think it's the first time I've actually felt safe. I know you use that word for the other relationships.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah. But just meeting him, I knew that he really sounds cheesy, but really saw me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
No, I don't think so. I don't think I miss it. I want it to stop coming through my head.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
I don't know. Probably like a swim cover-up going to the beach. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah, I had it two weeks ago, and it was rough.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
Yeah. Tell her to wait for it. To try to be patient.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
I mean, like half our sales team is down with it. There are so many people down with it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
even though he was primary caregiver of the children when I'm not there and handled so much.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Yeah, it's tricky to navigate sometimes.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Yes. Yes. I actually just got married in December.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
It's been great. I have a lovely husband. I can't say anything negative about him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Very challenging, yeah. I definitely felt burnt out these past few weeks taking on the extra responsibilities, and it's just left me with nothing to come home with. My husband has been you know, taking on a lot of those responsibilities that were mine at home as a result.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Oh, yikes. I don't want to be. I definitely don't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I did try to bring this up to her recently, this past Friday. And a lot of emotions came up on her end. Initially, she said, well, you know, I just need someone here that can handle it, that can help me out. I need help more than ever. And just really...
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
putting that pressure on me, um, making me feel like if I, you know, speak up on, on what's troubling me, feeling burnt out, um, too much, then I could lose my position. She'll just replace me with someone who's willing to just do it, you know, work full time, overtime, no break. Like, like I have been for the past few weeks.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Yeah. No, I know it's not her intention, but I feel like she's been put in a tough spot.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
They are, yes. I haven't had much of a break these past few weeks. I'm sorry.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Yeah. I know there's that people pleaser tendency in me to just, you know, grit and bear it. And, you know, I have my faith to fall back on. I don't feel like I'm going to break, but it is difficult. really need to be in this situation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
I had feelings even before this happened, even before he left that, um, it was starting to become an unhealthy work environment, not really being appreciated, um, the way I feel like I should, but, um, And your answer has been confirmed. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've She's had to lean on me for emotional support a bit in this situation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
I wanted to ask your advice on something. My question is, how can I support a family in crisis while balancing my own priorities?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Convince My Sister to Leave Her Husband?
So I am a nanny. I take care of two children. I've been with this current family for a little over two and a half years. And they... The parents are going through some marital issues. The dad has been inconsistent with his presence. He kind of left abruptly a few weeks ago, and the mom and I are just kind of picking up the pieces and trying to manage the household without him. Oh.
The Ramsey Show
Go Slow: Never Invest in What You Don’t Understand
it's still in a negotiation we offered like 3 000 less than we had originally offered if they're not going to include the appliances but we're still waiting to hear back i think that since we're just at that five percent i think i'm just like nervous that your border your borderline i mean you're not you're not stroking a big check here you know i the other thing you could do is say uh i don't have to buy this house
The Ramsey Show
Go Slow: Never Invest in What You Don’t Understand
Hi, I'm doing good. Thank you guys for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Go Slow: Never Invest in What You Don’t Understand
So me and my husband just finished up Baby Step 3D, and we are buying our first home. So we just put in an offer for a house that we really like. It was very reasonably priced. We have about 5% down that you guys recommend for the first home. And in negotiations, the sellers weren't willing to give up their appliances because And so that was going to be an extra $3,000 cost.
The Ramsey Show
Go Slow: Never Invest in What You Don’t Understand
We have like the 5% down, a little bit extra for closing costs, and our emergency fund. And I'm not sure if that $3,000 should come from taking a little bit less down, our emergency fund, or if it's a sign that we're just not ready to buy a house yet.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Well, I guess what we've seen is from the beginning, we've always said we want you saving. 75% has always been our rule. Wow. But just because that we just set up to be able to pay for cars and things like that. So he did real good. He bought his old truck. We met him halfway there. But really, since then, it's been hard for him to meet that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Something comes up, things like that, which is understandable. I know he's a teenager.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I'm just letting you know. I know, but they're full. When they have to pay for everything... I just, I want them to get there and, you know, have some spending money and maybe not have to work when they're in college. But right now he doesn't have anything really. And so we've recently even said, if you can't figure it out with paying for gas,
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
and saving 75% and giving that we might even pull paying for insurance and let him take a year off of having a car.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
But you wouldn't. You wouldn't threaten to take their car insurance if they don't aren't wise with their money this summer.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I would say let him budget it. He doesn't have it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I think he definitely can. But, I mean, we're still an 18-year-old at times. Sure. I mean, he's 18. There's definitely light. There's ability there for sure. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Well, I have four kids. My oldest is 18. And looking at college this fall, I am trying to, I'm wrestling, me and my husband are wrestling with how to instill the wisdom that we want him to have. He's had a job since he was 16, on and off.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
around school and things like that but we've recently told him he's got to start paying for his own gas in his old truck that we we helped him pay for halfway like dave teaches and it just feels like it's a big burden on him um we're going to pay for his schooling but he's got to pay for all extras and after two years he has to pay for even his schooling so we're really trying to teach him we want you to start learning really how to save and manage your money
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
And I just, I don't know. Am I being too harsh? Is it too much? He's just got a door knocking job right now. He has a full time job lined up, but it's not started yet for this summer. I just, I'm trying to strike that balance between being too harsh and helping him. I just don't know. So I wanted your advice.