Mark
Appearances
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It doesn't have like a little like. It ain't got a pad. It's like a yoga floor.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I mean, awesome. That's crazy. Yeah, that stuff is great. It's just crazy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I was trying to see heel John Cena. Yeah, we got to see heel. You should have snuck in a leg drop or something. Just something a bit surprising.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah, he really loves wrestling. He really loves McCulloch. Yeah. McCulloch. McCulloch.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Didn't they sleep together and some shit like that? What? Didn't he do sleepovers?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
How'd you act that?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
How did you ask him for him?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
What do you say to Macaulay Culkin? Son, Michael Jordan was a legend. I mean, both were legends, though.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yo, take this bird home. His brother's eating majestic birds.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You saw the jewelry fly everywhere? Yup. Yeah, that was fire.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You saw a dove reaching for it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Would you agree that your memory's bad? Leading the witness. Look at him dominating you, son. Now I understand why he liked him.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
What the fuck?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
So we'll see what happens. He gotta check in when he comes back to New York.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
That was almost like a threesome because she had both of y'all's saliva. That's a good point. That was close to it. Devil's triangle there. What did the gay couple say about the kiss? Did they rate it? Did you share with the gay couple that you guys just had a kiss?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
No, worth it, though. Hell yeah, it was worth it. Me and Miles was like, oh, man, he's going to hurt himself jumping down.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
They got to stretch him out. He went left looking like Rey Mysterio.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I'm not letting him watch this special. I'm going to tell Monty's a surrogate. I'd be like, yo, we love you so much. We put you in another body. Everyone shares the love.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But now that things are swinging back and all the woke shit's done, are they back to real life?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Would you take down Meryl Streep?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
She got a little Martha Stewart in her, right? She got David lips. I see why you like her.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
He got some lips on him. I got lips. Is that something that you see in men sometimes? I mean, now that the focus is on him, he got some lips. You're just mad because he got lips that you don't.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh, shit. I missed that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
That's critical thinking.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Sugar and cigarettes. Yeah. You guys did it. Is that the thing? Sugar, cigarettes, and alcohol. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But yeah, I started putting shit in it. What do you mean? Like, put other chemicals. Like menthol. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Exactly.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It's like, who am I breath to smell good before killing myself?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You ate a Reese's last night.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah, I saw one dude. There's churches everywhere. You could have did it if you really wanted to do it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
The Lord always looks out. Did you do Palm Sunday? I used to like that day. Yeah, you could turn it into something. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, that was cool.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
How? Because if you fucking, that makes you feel good and a couple gonna get past the goalie.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You just said make you feel good. I mean, you're right.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It's Monday Night Raw every day.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah. Usually they'll bring up a topic and then whoever wants to go, they run it. Can pop it. Got it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
See, that's why I didn't jump in. I didn't want to get you in trouble. Because you didn't pass the physical. I didn't pass the physical. Thank you, man. He did the physical. He didn't pass the physical. I know.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
100%.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I'm on a juice, man. I'm on a juice. That's great. When was the last time you got a physical?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
And so that's so hard for time. We've gotten better. Like, this is the best time to live ever in the history. A hundred percent.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
So your priest gave you physicals? No, bro. It was not a priest.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It's like when you do an advertisement for AIDS. Yo, fuck you. Fuck you. I hope you get that shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
an increasing birth rate does that actually make the earth die faster like we don't actually know i've always wondered that i'm like maybe this is just the order of things and we're just like leveling out yeah like we used to put so much emphasis on have as many kids as possible and now like look at the little resources we all have and everybody's complaining so maybe this is just like hey bouncing itself out yeah it's a leveling a natural level which even that idea i think comes out of like agrarian societies and shit
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You're a real jerk. You're a real asshole. All those years you was complaining about how one ball was just crazy big. Why did you ever get it checked out? Why did I get it checked out? Yeah, when you had that ball issue for mad long.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
See, Cuomo was just trying to help out. Say again? What'd he say? Cuomo was just trying to help out. Wait, what was Cuomo doing? He put all the fucking old people in. Yeah, he's like, yo, we can't pay for these motherfuckers anymore.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It made for great content on the pod for years.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I'm tired of these stuffy cornballs. He likes to, you know, talk to his constituents. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Only $100,000 from the service? Like, only? The fuck?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Deadass.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
They got that confidence that they can do whatever and get away with it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It's like kickbacks to open some Turkish building or something like that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
That's how you feel about that? Come on, brother. What politicians not doing that?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah. Mayor, I like. Some would say our president is, you know, Russian. I said, I don't know. Some people say. Is he still a Russian? Debunked.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Miles is going to beat him to it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But what's this big, juicy one? It's still not fucking answered. We never get to answer that. Well, 9-11, we should get an answer. We know who did 9-11. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo, Dove, y'all got to do— Nah, Ian Carroll's doing some nasty work, y'all.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Both of my wives clutching their pearls. Just say the word, man. If it's on a cypher load or something. Yo, I'm going to be honest with you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
We've had this for a while, but Ian's cooking right now.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I don't know all the specifics, but the thing that people just keep trying. They can't seem to separate is that he's saying the Israeli government and everybody ties that by anti-Semitism. And he's talking about all Jews. And I don't think he's doing that. Right. But that's the way it seems like online.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
That's the only thing that I don't like because it's like he's really clear and just being like, oh, it's the Israeli government that's doing all these things. And then everybody's like, oh, anti-Semitism. He's saying Jews cause.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah, but he's not saying that. Sorry.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You should be able to criticize.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I can see that. Right?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Wait.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah. I do think that some of the frustration in Gaza is that, and maybe there is, and I'm missing it, but I don't see enough Jewish people speaking out against what the Israel government is doing. Like, I'm not subscribed to like... uh, what's, I don't know, one of your institutions, but I just don't see it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
So it's like, it seems like all Jewish people are in support of what's going on over there. Cause no one's speaking out against it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Now it feels like it's wrong.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Here's the other thing. Oh, no, yeah, you could. It could be a slippery slope, and I can understand why they wouldn't want to be like, all right, we're doing this bad, and then we're like, see, and now what else are you doing bad? I can see that. I have to morally prove myself to every person that I meet.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But I think Americans, we did it once we realized, hey, there's no weapons of mass destruction. We are here for no reason. This is wrong. Let's stop this. I think we called ourselves out on that shit. Have you apologized for that? Yeah, Al, did you publicly post it? I feel like I haven't heard you say anything about it. I put a post up. Black squared it in Chile.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Say sorry to the Iraqi people right now. We were like, it took us a while. We definitely got out of natural resources.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But we were calling out, we were saying like, this war is wrong. Like, I think the people were calling, saying the war was wrong once we found out that we're in weapons of mass destruction. Well, here's the thing. You don't think so?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
No, I didn't try. I was a little too far back.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
He didn't eat it this way or that way.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I mean, they're fun to make fun of. You know, like, the dude that would come over here sometimes, he would sit at the table. Yeah. Right. Our handler.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Our AIPAC delegate. That is what I think. We got an AIPAC delegate.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I don't know. You got that shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I saw you. It was a little too much effort. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah. No, I thought you could just go drink as many of those as you want. Yeah, because it's bone broth.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Downward dog. He's just going to take a butter knife.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
And it's on site for him. It is on site.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I was surprised to see the amount of adults there. I thought I was going to see way more kids. It was like maybe 5% kids.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
war with these people for a really long time yes maybe the government has been was gone a little heavy-handed with the response but until you're in it you really don't get it so you think that would help any sentiment my concern is you can't start any discussion with you don't understand okay well but put it differently i think i think that hey we got attacked
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
like our response, you might deem it as excessive, but we feel this is what's necessary in order to like end this conflict that's been going on for all these years.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. Like, I think people need to speak out more to help with that perception. Yeah. And I think that there's like a lot of like, because without speaking out, we feel gaslit. Like, oh, we can't say anything because you're just going to call us anti-Semitic. And not us. I'm just trying to speak on sentiment.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
That's maybe it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
He's like, yo, where are the kids, dude? You're a fucking creep. I was trying to keep him away from this guy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
We forget. We forget quick. I don't feel like Eric Adams is running for mayor.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Go.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I'm still doing that past life regression shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I'm going to come back to you and kill myself? Fuck out of here.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
He didn't come to my show. I went to the later one. We just had an annoying couple in the front that I was so happy. They went to the bathroom, the couple, and then while coming back, they both bust their ass trying to get back to the table. It was so good. And then she tried to get up and bust her ass again. I had to run out laughing. I would have disrupted the show. I couldn't hold it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh, poor Kanye. No, poor Kanye. Fuck Kanye.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh, you really give Kanye that much credit? Honestly. I really couldn't believe that he was talking to, he thought he was talking to Rogan.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh, to try to force his hand? Something like that. I don't know. But Rogue is not that tight. No, not at all. No. This is just sad. I think somebody just hit him with, like, hey, this is Rogue, and this is my new number. Oh, he believed it? Yeah. Wow.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You're right.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It usually is some gay shit. Do you see? I've recorded yourself playing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Well, do you know what he's doing? I'll be having matching outfits and shit like that. I do that shit too. I hate a lot of shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I go, Paddle Up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I even have to tie headband shit. Really? Like Agassi, yeah. That's why you're matching with a couch runner?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Always ass. That's me.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Soft power. So my birthday's next week. And so for this weekend, I'm going to a tennis hotel. That's a paddle. I've heard about these. So it's like five, six different courts. They just all year round. They have like different trainers there and shit like that. And so players just come in and out. All inclusive.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
In Dominican Republic. Yeah. Yeah. They have them in Hawaii. Right on the beach. So my shorty will just be on the beach. I'm going to be playing all day. Perfect birthday.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
They don't have a paddle hotel? They... Chelsea, you need to do that. I need to make it. You need to do that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I get that. We take it over the sport. We got Coco, we got Sheldon, we got a few. That's a good point. Yeah, there are a few. We're doing good. We're going to come for paddle, bro.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Stephen A. for president, bro.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
You need to get scoops. You need to get all this stuff. And he just got a hundred, a hundred M's. So they're not upset of what he's saying about LeBron. He said, they're like, yo, run it up. But that was a big misstep on LeBron though. Can you tell me what it was about? I mean, it was just like, keep my son's name out of your mouth type thing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah, but he said a bunch about Ronnie. So it's like, I'm pretty sure he's just tired of him constantly bringing up his son.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But he just made it 10 times worse.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Stephen A can make it awesome. That person makes it a monk before they get taken over. Yeah, also that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I feel like they've always talked shit about Braun. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's very little, but they've always done it throughout his career. You remember, he wasn't clutch in the beginning. You're right. You're right about that. His record in the finals. Like, he never got the Jordan treatment. And maybe that's why he's disgruntled about it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I think just too much competition in sports media. And it's like, Oh wow.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Everything sucks. And now I'm putting my son through this. So he's probably trying to squash it early. Like, yo, chill. You can talk about me, but chill out. Oh, that's a good ass. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
And he probably feels personally responsible because he knows his son doesn't belong in that spot. And it's because he leveraged his son to get in that spot. So now you're responsible for all that hate he's getting.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
It's tricky.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
And it probably is because the fact that he's balling in the G League, like, it's probably a mental thing when he gets in...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
But that was like, Zielinski, he should have did that in private. That's the misstep.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
And which goes back to perception because I'm pretty sure Trump is going to frame it that way.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
All the noise online is just like sports analysts. Everybody wants to be first to the take and you need to have the more outrageous, outrageous take.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh, you mean when it swings back? I thought you meant... Okay.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah, but we like story. We like a good story. Conspiracy is a good story.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Oh, this is you at the fucking museum. Do you see the symbol? For this reason. So...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
I don't think we ever get there. What you just said is boring. I know. I know. What happened to building number seven?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
He has presence.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Schulz's WWE Appearance, Israel’s PR Problem, & Sam Seder’s 20 v 1
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
I think that's the problem. People start driving with their head out the window. But do they track them? They must have trackers or something, right? Probably. Like, that's crazy. Wow. I took the boot off in college. How? I just took the wheel off, put the spare on. Did you really? I drove to where our campus security was, and I was like... Hey, take this off with the tire.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
I was like, I have shit to do today.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
What is that?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
That also makes sense with the Mormonism thing. They are the Manifest Destiny religion. American Primeval?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
I mean, it's actually JetBlue, Black & Decker, SkyWest, Marriott. It's a lot. I'm raising my kids Mormon. I've always said this. Mitt Romney.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
yeah dude like they're they're fucking impressive but like most americans they will believe whatever the fuck sounds most interesting yeah i think mormons are also like the highest tithing group of people so like a lot of times they can justify business decisions for the fact that the more money they are making they give back to the church 10 always go to the church pre-tax yeah
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
The therapist is living in the house and also is his therapist and is also manipulating the oldest son and being like, tell me what you've done wrong. I know something went wrong. I know you have guilt on your conscience. He's like, all right, I got a hand job. I drank a little alcohol and I looked at porn. And then that gets back to the mother.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
And then the mother goes, oh, the reason this house is cursed, the reason that the woman is still being possessed by the devil is because you're in the house doing...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
sinful things you have to leave he leaves at 17 the older daughter's in college and this is when the father is also being like basic excommunicated from the family and the woman is now having these like god these demon possessions overnight and the wife would go to the husband and be like hey i need to go upstairs i think if i stay with her tonight the demons won't affect her and this is where the like hookup accusations start to build the daughter in the documentary says i believe they were hooking up
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Not cute. Yeah, tough look. Not cute. Tough look. There's like videos of them on a jet ski. And they're like so like lesbian cute. They're like holding on to each other. And she's like, I'm going to go so fast. And she's like, don't throw me off.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Like there's no one around for an acre, two acres, three acres.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
From doing this cult, basically. Yeah, she basically runs, like, one of the best therapy situations. And it's, I don't want to say it's, like, the church isn't helping her, but the church is telling people, you can go to her.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
In, like, a closet. In the back of the closet.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Yeah. California is legislated against this. California right now just started a law where if your child is 60% of your content, you have to put away a certain amount of money for them. 30% of income.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
And there's a bunch of people who are leaving California being like, guys, we just don't like the lifestyle here. Like we're going to Tennessee. We're going to Texas. We had mold in the house or whatever these like sort of excuses are. But it's just so that they can enslave their children and make content. I don't know the full details.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
She also left... She saved all the raws. So there's all these offcuts of her being like, do it different. And then it being like, she saved all the raws. So there's all this evidence against her.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
The old days actually used to work.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
A male OnlyFans girl? No, no. I saw an OnlyFans girl on Instagram, on my Instagram, and I brought her up to Mark that I think this is crazy. I actually don't even want to say the allegation I have. Just pull her up. Yeah, just pull her up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
This is positive. There has yet to be a positive story.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
That's her. I think this is the girl that's using a filter because she's like, she's sort of too upfront about it. I think one of the captions that caught me off guard was like, I'm downs and also down or something crazy. I saw that one. And then I went on the Instagram account.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
yeah i think she's using ai face swap or like a something that's devious dude that's that's what i'm trying to say it's crazy right that like yeah that's her angle and yeah but who developed the ai face swap to make you look down like is she also coding no i'm sure it's an app i'm sure it's just so you think there's an app out there for sure what's it called i'm gonna find out
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
He's like, you guys should kiss.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
I'm off of that it bummed me out that it felt like Bangkok was quite close to this place in the show correct like it seemed like he got there pretty quick yeah Jamil stayed at this resort and I asked him I was like oh they're pretty close to each other like they'd be so amazing to be able to do both and he was like no they're flights away from each other it's like oh it bums me out because I would like to go to that resort like how long is a flight like 30 minutes or is it five hours like an hour or two yeah but I thought it was like you could go there for like you have to fly to Bangkok anyway I'm sure
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Wait, this is her?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
The only Steelman argument I can find online, I've been using Shaft GPT and shit, trying to find one, is that they're saying it could be framed as the, is the Boston Tea Party vandalism or was it terrorism or was it revolution?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
And I was like, no, I like this. This is good. Let's talk it out. Oh. That's kind of nice.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
White Lotus Saved TV, Drake Lawsuit Gets Worse, & Elon's Tesla Burning Terrorism
The difference with this is burning a car could affect a lot of people. You could catch a large fire. There's like throwing tea overboard doesn't affect people possibly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
She also has a bit of a weird accent because she's raised by the two of us. Yes. She's half Jersey, half British. This is Lars and Jean. Hi. Hey, Monica. Hey, Monica.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
9: Signed, Sealed, Silenced
Mark was known as the dog whisperer of Anacortes.
CreepCast
Best of Creep Cast 2024
Yeah, so I'm hoping to graduate in two years. Okay, do you want Pepsi with that?
CreepCast
Best of Creep Cast 2024
Bummer. Everybody want to point and laugh at him? He's a loser. This kid didn't get a balloon back, uh-huh.
CreepCast
Best of Creep Cast 2024
Man, I hope that if Josh is dead, I can still find my cat. Well, even if Boxes dies, he still has eight more lives, so it should be fine.
CreepCast
Best of Creep Cast 2024
I think I'm watching an angel. I think I'm watching an angel from heaven.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Good evening, gentle listeners and watchers, and welcome to Destructible. This episode, Mania Mark the Barmy Baker demands brainwork from the boys for finding fauna fanfares. Brunching Bob builds an illicit empire, emulates bird base, noses Gavrier Immer, and Tyler's termination. Wumbling Wade marvels at the man without fear, endures shitstorms, slaps hard, and screams.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
All right, okay. That was not close. I'll give you that one. Bob, what is this animal?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I've heard what Taz sounds like, and it's not that. Kind of terrifying. So no one gets the point for that, but there is a point on the table for this imitation. Wade, you're back up. Oh, God.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I mean, not dissimilar. The snort, I think, really helped you there. That was not bad.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Cause it's like two opposite takes of air. I don't think I could do that either. I'm going to give that one to Wade. He is Tasmania. Devil in the sheets, Tasmanian in the sheets. In the teats. Gotcha. All right, Bob, this is your animal.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
You know, that's not a bad guess. But honestly, I can't even remember what this animal is when I look at the name. So macaque is a good guess if I knew at all what this was supposed to be.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
So this is distractible. You found the right place. You've chosen us versus any other podcast out there. Maybe you were scrolling Spotify and you were just like, hey, I've never seen this one before. Why don't I give it a try? And here you are. And boy, how do you don't know what you're in for? This is a game show where I judge the performance of my friends, Bob and Wade here.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Because looking at the name, I'm just like, I know this name, have never attached it to an actual animal. So if that's a clue, Wade, here is one more time.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
That would make a hard sound to use in a beat like producers out there.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I don't think there's a third kind of those. I think it's alligators or crocodiles. Maybe it falls under one of those, but it's like the really long, needly-nosed one. I think, yeah, that's a crocodile type, I believe. It might be called a needle-nosed crocodile for all I know. Those are really good for taking outlets out of the wall. You know, I'm not going to give you an animal name.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I'm just confident that I'm close enough that it'll win. Uh, no. A gharial or a gavial? Maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A species of crocodile known for its exceptionally long and slender snout. Okay, then it is a crocodile type, but not your standard.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Both of you did not get it, and prepare to be shocked at what the hell this is.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Oh, I would not have guessed that's what those sound like. Yeah, me neither. Also, this video is terrifying. He's just chilling. If that was in the middle of the woods at night, just I saw eyes.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Everybody knows what a cassowary is. If I remember cassowaries, they're also assholes and will kill you. Unless that's an emu. I think a lot of the big birds are kind of a-holes. Anyway, no one got the point for that, but honestly, how would anyone ever? I mean, this... But there is a point possibility for imitating that. So Bob, you are up for the bonus point. All right. Yeah. Here.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Do I have to make the sound with my own voice or can I use tools? I'll allow a tool. Sure.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I'm not going to share it unless I win, then I'll share. All right. That was really close. Honestly, that sounded pretty good. It's good because I broke the thing I was using to make that sound.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
You can always throw, but I encourage you, hey, you never know until you try.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
It's either you fail miserably or you give the audience some ammo that they never should have had. My thing was just this 3D printed cup koozie scraping back and forth on the desk. I fucked up. I started delaminating layers off of it by jamming it in my desk too hard.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
well it got you a point so i think it can't be that big of a loss yep worth it why don't you try the heart all right all right wade open your ears i think i know this one i know this one i know this one
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Hi, I'm one of those two people. And the only reason I'm here to judge them, because last episode I won by a clear sweeping, almost tiebreaker victory. And so now I get to subject these two to my whims. And my first whims is to tell you something that I should have talked about in the last episode of Small Talk, because it's something that I did. But Bob, you reminded me of something that I did.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
That is, in fact, a loon! Oh, god damn, man. Yeah, good luck making that noise. And here's the video of the loon, just so you all know what this is.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
That's a common Ohio wildlife sound. They have little babies riding around on them. That's funny.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
At least I guessed bird. It's like a goose disguised as the Doppler effect. Ha! Yeah. All right, anyway, so, Bob, you got the point for what it is, but Wade, you have a chance if you can imitate this animal. Wait, doesn't he have to imitate first? Why do I have to do it first? Because you went first, I guess. I went first last time.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
It's not bad. That was pretty good. I think that was better than I could probably do. All right, Bob. Pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Man, this is a toss-up. I think the addition of the hand component of it got it acoustically closer. I would have to agree.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
You got one of those pull-cord speak-and-spell animal sound thing. The loon goes... Yes, yes, I do. Every day. I got it for James. The cow goes... No, James, we're getting the loon one! Next up, Bob, you're first.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I think that's a... Is that a magpie? No, unfortunately, it's not. I think I still know what it is. I think I just don't know what it's called because I can see this bad boy. It's obviously the African hissing cockroach. A damn fine guess, but a damn wrong guess. I think it is actually an African animal.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Okay, Bob, because I had to pull up what it was, I will give you half a point if you can describe what this thing looks like. Okay, I'm seeing it's a bird and it's like a black bird and it has kind of a big curvy downy beak. And when it's doing this, it's just sitting there with its mouth open, just like... But it's making all these crazy ass noises. It's not quite.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I mean, it's close, but when it's making the sound, that's like the differentiation. I'll let Wade also chime in on this because here is this animal. And I am unsure if this is actually going to make the sound in the video. I can't see how, but here we go. I see it. I see it. I see it. Damn. That's loud. That's so loud. That's terrifying. I mean, he got tall bird, right?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
This has nothing to do with the episode, and this only has something that I'm proud of. I made bread. Oh, successfully? Homemade bread's really good. We were out of bread, and I really wanted to make Nutella on toast. Just toasting bread and putting Nutella on it. So, of course, instead of going to the store and buying bread, I was like, making bread can't be that hard.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
If you feel like you have to, I can't stop you, but I don't suggest it. Pops first. All right. I don't know if this is going to hang on. Oh, did we ever say out loud that's a shoe bill? That's a shoe bill.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Yeah. Okay. This isn't 100% what I'm hoping for, but here we go. Ready? Ready?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
That's great. That's actually pretty close. Wade, you have to use your teeth. I used my teeth. Come on. Can you play it one more time?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I think that was closer. That was pretty good. It had the right resonance to it. What's on your desk?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Yeah, well, they're probably designed to withstand that. Also, ow, my hands hurt. Better than your teeth.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Wait, I think I know this. I might know this. Really? I'm optimistic. I have a guess. Wade has no chance. I do not. This is obviously a lemur that found a storage of helium. Honestly, I can't say that it's not that, but it's not that in this case. I feel less confident now. I'm going to go with my guess that I thought of that I got really excited about. Is this a prairie dog? You are so close.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
No, I'm going to throw this up to debate because I think that what this is is often confused for that to the point where I'm almost certain that they probably sound the same. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's similar to at least to what the sound prairie dogs make. But this is a marmot. Oh, I believe this is very closely related to a prairie dog.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
And it turns out, usually when you say that, cosmically, it means it will be the most arduous thing you've ever done in your life. But in reality, because we had bread flour and yeast already, so long as you have those things, you can pretty much make bread. You could even do it with like, I never remember if it's baking powder or baking soda. You want soda, I think.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
They live in burrows, but they're different sizes and different habitats. It's really close. Damn, that's close.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
And it's like, not even close. All right. Okay. All right. So now that you, we've definitely heard it a million times who can mimic this.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
If any of you can get up to this pitch, I'd be shocked. All right. Can you play it again?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Yeah, that's a toss-up between the two of you. I don't think any of you got close enough for me to... Not for us burly men that we are with our deep, rich voices.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I mean, not a bad guess. Not a bad guess. Can I guess an actual animal? Yeah, sure. It's definitely a turtle trying to climb up onto a slightly too high step. Okay.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
close but no wait this is clearly a mountain goat that just ate a hot pepper no unfortunately damn it all right so the truth is uh a lot less uh interesting oh it's a proboscis a proboscis monkey
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
How is that less interesting? Look at the way that thing flops around. Well, I'll give bonus for flopping if one of you can perform the flopping as you do this. Bob?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I'm just going to have to do it. Is that what it sounded like? I don't think so. Okay. Ah, that's close. That's pretty close. Yeah, kinda, yeah. Wade? Alright, points for flopping.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
All right. Good joke. That was almost a point there, Wade, but could have gotten it. But yeah, no, I made bread. So you made like a sandwich loaf? Did you put like a little honey in it or something? What direction? No, it was a sweeter bread. I found a recipe. You know, there's recipes online where you click there and then you have to scroll through a million pages to get to the actual recipe.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I think it's honestly just that it's kind of resonant and the audio is really clippy because it's trying to cut out background noise.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I got to give it for the effort to the burps. All right. And I'll give Wade half point for flopping because it wasn't on screen, but I believe you.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Bob. That's definitely the sound of a baby meerkat. No. It wasn't a baby anything, actually.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Why is he a ball frog? What happened to him? I think it's angry and it's like all puffed up and trying to intimidate.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Alright, who's going to imitate that? Or should we just skip this one because it's so high pitched? Oh no, we got this.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
No, it was Wade. I can't do any of those things, so... I'm going to do the jaw.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Did you put the butt crack in the middle? I did not. No, I didn't. Why does bread have a butt crack? Well, I could have, but, you know, I accidentally made too much. See, I split the recipe in two for every ingredient except the liquid that's in there. So every dry ingredient was perfectly halved. And I was like, perfect. And it was either water or milk.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
And I chose milk because I have this, like, higher protein milk. And I was like, ah, it'll have a little extra protein in it. And I boiled two cups. But then I decided to halve everything else. So I was like, perfect. Everything was halved. I did the math right. I double checked it. Dumped the whole two cups in there. Guess I'm making more bread, so I re-halved all the other ingredients.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
And then I made a ton of bread, and I proved it in the oven at like 85 degrees. It's like 85 to 90.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
From effusive eyeballing to outraged otarionay. Yes! It's time for Animal Noises 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
You can prove it in there. And I should have let it go a tiny bit longer. It was almost perfect, but it needed to prove just a bit more. But I made it, and it was great. It tasted delicious. It was really good. I couldn't believe it. I made bread. How long did it take to make it?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
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Distractible
Animal Noises Too
It took probably the mixing took about, you know, 20, 25 minutes to get all the ingredients measured out and make a mistake and then fix it. Proving it took about maybe like an hour. I probably should have let it go for a little longer than that, like hour 15. That's in a heated drawer. Bake it for 30 minutes, and it was done.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Right, Wade? Is this my time? Yeah, I kind of was like going off of Bob and Henry.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
What in the... You heard it from Wade. Fuck animals, eat chocolate. No, I know what choco rooms are, just the way that you ate that one was... I was angry. I was angry eating. I'm gonna get chocolate milk from upstairs. Well, congratulations, boys. Thank you for your good efforts. Bob, all that training paid off from the last episode. Well done. And thank you, everybody, for listening at home.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
And thank you, everybody, for watching at home. I feel like everyone got an equal experience. It's not all about the listeners or the watchers. We each get something. Right? Right. Be sure to check out the subreddit where we got all the memes, and you'll see a lot of copies of Wade's face from the last episodes. I apologize for that. I am not going to be deleting any of those.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I will be reinstating any posts that other moderators delete. It will just be Wade's face.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
That's fair. All right. Be sure to follow the podcast to be notified whenever a new one comes up. We're also on YouTube in case you were wondering, but video is on Spotify and YouTube now. Thank you. We will see you in the next episode whenever it comes. Podcast out.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I've had a loaf pan for meatloaf for a while, but it's small. So I made the rest in like this casserole dish. Both turned out fine. Each of them were perfect. It just, I took out one sooner than the other. And it was great. I never made bread, and it worked perfectly. I'm flabbergasted. You can just make bread.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Focaccia, or is that the flatbread with dimples? Oh, that's one of the ones I've had a lot of success with. Those are really good. I've never tried to make it, but Amy's tried to make it, and her success rate is a little iffy. I mean, okay, not a little iffy. That's putting it into question, but she's had a few failures where it just does not do anything.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I don't want to call out Amy, but she cannot make a bread to save her. Okay, no, but there is something to say. Amy cannot cook grilled cheese. What? Huh? She's a great cook, knows a ton of recipes, can make a ton of things. For some reason, cannot make grilled cheese. Like the outside burns before the cheese is cheesed or something? Yeah, exactly. I don't know what it is.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
He's got to turn that temperature down a little bit. Welcome to the show where we criticize Amy's cooking, everyone. Yeah, I'm going to really pile on. Get ready, Amy. I know you watch these. Did you guys know I ran a grilled cheese empire in college? I feel like I should know that. It was after we lived together. It was a Sinfonia thing.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
no i lived off campus i was it was okay because you with an oven just in your dorm making or i guess a stove is what i mean uh to make grilled cheese for everyone it's kind of nuts sounding mark did that not that but mark made food in the dorm a couple times i remember that i made food like two times the microwave or i was only allowed to have like a microwave you know there was a little kitchenette there was a little kitchenette in the dorm and no one used it
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Hi, welcome back to Distractible. I'm so glad you're here. It's so good to see you. I hope you're ready for a lot of eye contact and a lot of ear contact from your favorite host, Markiplier. That's M-A-R-K-I-P-L-I-E-R. You okay, man? People been misspelling your name or something recently? I'm great. Oh, that sounds believable.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Like after the first year, some new administrator in CCM was like, you can't do that. You can't. And so we found like another space that was like way the hell in the back hall somewhere in the secret speakeasy where we served illegal grilled cheeses.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I made it profitable, but it was for... It was for... It was for Sinfonia, which is maybe, I think, was maybe a non-profit. If I remember, I'm not 100% sure about that. I heard profitable empire is what I heard. And an empire is not a business. I made a profitable endeavor... But the profits were not shared. Hey, I'm with you.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
We weren't we weren't like an operating restaurant. We were like one day a week. Somebody's cook some grilled cheeses and we charged a nominal fee so that we could like cover our expenses. And no, I'm with you.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
They knew we were doing it. They just didn't let us do it in the really, really, really good location that kind of put a damper on the things, you know. The man really dragged us down. Yeah, I can see that. I'm sorry for that.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Well, that's good. I haven't had time to watch any show, obviously, but that's the same story I've been telling for ages now. For about two years.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
But someday, I'm going to watch so much stuff, I'm going to do so much little. Sin City Weather, on the other hand, is a bitch.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
It's pretty nice outside right now. You should... I'm in this chair all day today.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Wade yells at Cloud. Hey, come back tomorrow. This episode is brought to you by Walmart. I'm a busy guy.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
You can choose the date and the time. You never feel more powerful. Walmart subscriptions. Groceries and essentials delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Shipping, delivery, and minimum order fees may apply. Eligible items only. Terms apply. In the era of sequels. This is another one. Oh. Weird part four. This is going to be another cerebral episode.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
You're going to need to use your brain. Okay. You're going to need to use whatever form of imagination you have or are capable of. Well, okay. Calm down. And you need to use your ability at horticultury. Etymology? Entomology or etymology?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Etymology? Anyway, you're going to need to use some kind of scientific department. I'm going to flip a coin to decide who's going to go first. Ed, Bob, Wade, Tails. Bob! That's me, baby! Bob, what's new in the area of horticulture? Oh, I'm about to tell you, Bob. Open up your ears. Okay.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
All right, so I'm guessing when and why Wade makes that noise? Yes, please, give me that. That's the sound Wade makes when he's been in the pool for about an hour and a half, and someone outside the pool opens the lid to the grill and says, Burgers are ready!
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Makes family gatherings super awkward when Molly wears sundresses. So, Bob, can you tell me what animal that is?
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
I'm fine. I'm so good. You sound fine. Guys, I want you to rate the sanity of the snack that I'm eating for lunch. It's a tortilla. Zero. That I'm tearing into chunks and then scooping little bits of cream cheese with and then rolling up into little cream cheese rolls. Give you a cannoli point.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
No, not a hug. Now, Wade, it's your turn. And I'm going to give you a clue that I didn't give Bob. This is one we had in the last episode.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
All right, Bob, do you know what this is? I think I do. That was the koala, right? Yes. All right. We did a koala last time. Are you sure? Yeah, we did. I remember because it sounded like that. And I was all, that's a koala this time.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Yeah, and here there's a bonus that I don't know if you guys will be able to hear it, but I have videos now.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
Oh, wow. I can tell an animal by seeing it. Well, just so it proves what it is. I bet James could beat you at telling animals by seeing them. He probably could. I bet he could. That's a koala. It is a koala, yes. To the listeners, it says koala on the video. I don't like his mouth. I'm not a fan of that mouth shape. Nope. Don't like that. That's not pleasant. All right.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
No. So what we're going to do actually is before the way it worked is we did identifying the animal. If you couldn't get it, it's or if someone did get it, the next part was who could imitate it the most. Well, I already made the sound, so I get a point for that, right? Well, we're going to disqualify this one because we had it last time. And also, I remember this one hurt you guys' voices a lot.
Distractible
Animal Noises Too
So I don't think we need to do that one again. These next ones, though, like last time, I have not heard these. Okay, so we listen, then we have to replicate the sound, and guess what it is? No, we listen, guess what it is, the next part of it is who can make the sound the best.
Distractible
Does Order Matters?
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Red-Blooded Bob emphatically throws down with Wowhead Mark, then sleuths about sequencing. Weirding Waders and Saduka loves POE, becomes PC, and gets milky with SpaghettiOs. Muddled Mark gets lewdly green-screened, declares Bob a heretic, is horrified by the Hornets,
Distractible
Does Order Matters?
then mayonnaise's and mustard's moulds, from Carol Channing to sumptuous sartorial splendour. Yes! It's time for Does Order Matters? Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Distractible
The Even More Perfecter Crime
Good evening, gentle listeners and watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, mystifying Mark advises on OBS, then challenges the chaps to burgle a big booty. Belious Bob talks blue jackets and bangles, spies on birds, has bullshit braid, and bazookas. Worthy Wade swoons over a prince, demands camera camaraderie, then streaks and self-castrates. From Spy Hard to Buckets of Shit. Yes!
Distractible
The Even More Perfecter Crime
It's time for the even more perfecter crime. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
that's wrong i haven't re-watched in ages and you guys are gonna make me re-watch i am watching twin peaks right now though i've been what you are on the news the newer season or the original no no don't spoil anything at all i've never seen it we're going back to the beginning i think there's at least two peaks mark
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I like it so far. I mean, we started it because David Lynch passed away. Yeah. And we watched Mulholland Drive. Mulholland Drive, which by many accounts is listed as one of the top 10 best movies of all times. That's a trip of a movie. Very, very... Weird, but intentionally so, apparently, and it's worth a watch, because it just kind of, like, sticks with you afterwards.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
You go, like, huh, wait, huh, huh. How far into Twin Peaks are you? Only, like, three episodes in. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, very early into it. Cool, I've not watched Mull, that word, Drive.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Yeah, but we weren't recording then. No, but I mean like last week. I could have sworn.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I have done this so many times, an unbelievable number of times, because when I was editing the movie in Texas, I would have to pick up my entire setup, take it to the post-production house, reset it all back up, take it down because it wouldn't let me keep it there. Oh, like every day? Take it back home. And then I wanted to work, you know, on the weekends, I would set it all back up again.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I'm having like the craziest deja vu that last week we talked about you going to Soto and you were like, oh, it was so good. It was specifically that it was so good that reminded me of it. I was like, wait, whoa, I've heard that before.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
That's why I had a separate bathtub setup at that time. Because I wasn't going to... Because I just... Ah, I'm in. So the order, though, a lot of people might say you disconnect all the cables first. Rookie mistake. Oh. Because if you disconnect all the cables, you're going to have a pile of cables, and then you'll have to fish out the cables every time you're coming together.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
You leave the cable connected to the device that it needs to be connected to, both connection cables and its power cable. You wrap the device in... in its cable. That's how you do the cable management for easy transportation. But the order of operations for doing it is first, I have a laptop. It depends on if you're doing laptop or desktop.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
If you have laptop, desktop, unplug from the laptop, leave everything connected to where it is, and then put your laptop away. If it's a desktop, you can unplug things from the back, start with the power, turn it off, flip the power switch off, take out the power supply, then disconnect everything else. Peeve your giant desktop over somewhere else, out of the way, and then monitors.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Monitors are next because they're the most fragile. You don't want to be tired and angry at the end of your organization than dealing with your monitors. You want to deal with them first when you're fresh and you're careful and not when you're careless at the end of it all because you're like, God, why did I have to do this over and over again? This is terrible.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
And then obviously when you put it, if you got it in a car, you want the monitors first because those monitors are going to go protected in the backseat, seat belted in if you can do it so that the screen isn't pressing against anything, nothing can hit them. Once you have that, largely doesn't matter. I mean, computer desktop, if you have a desktop, you put it in there also and protect it.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
then all your hard drive your your mice your your peripherals that gets wrapped with its own cord and placed in a way if you have a bag or whatever that it won't suddenly go together and the cords will magically attach if they will anyway like half the time but i appreciate the sentiment and then assembly is reverse order of what you just did
Distractible
Order Matters Too
How many has Molly read? Less than that. Take that. Is it the Animorphs? It is. Who's Who's a book person now? And I know this because you said this. I've heard this before.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
That's a tie. That's a tie. You both get a point. You both get a point. Okay, goddammit. Why did I even get my hopes up? Why did I even try to be happy?
Distractible
Order Matters Too
No, I don't. I don't drink black coffee. It depends. It depends on what type of coffee we're talking about. Are we talking about drip coffee?
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I thought I was going crazy. I think Wade got points for that last time. Oh, God. Wait. Yes. Animorphs for kids. Oh, Mark did it. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, man. I just don't know what time I'm at.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
grounds in the cup first give me something come on he buys the whole beans and he grinds them in his teeth they call it the belgian press i got i got a thing that's just gonna make every barista cringe who's ever pulled a shot of espresso before so we've had an espresso machine and we've had it forever forever uh we've had it for seven years not forever that's actually very far from forever
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Uh, it's been a workhorse. I forget what the brand name, but it's like, I think Breville. That's a big brand name for coffee stuff.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
So it's a single shot or it's a double shot espresso maker. You, you could do one at a time. It's only got one pressure meter at the front. At first I hated it because when I first use it, I didn't seal it properly. And coffee went like a line on the wall. It was, uh, it was scary. And then I was like, never again. And then I went back to it. I'm like, this makes really good coffee. All right.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I'll try it some more. But to clean the beans out, all right. I know you're not supposed to put them in the sink.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
You're not supposed to. But sometimes when I smack it in the trash can, it doesn't all come out. So I take the rest of it, which is like half a shot's worth of herb. And then I just run it under the sink and I take my finger and I go. And then I shake my finger off and I get some more coffee grounds. And I know that's probably not procedure.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
If I was in Starbucks, everyone would have my finger in their coffee. But it's my coffee maker. I'm not making it for everyone else. I hope someone clips that little section of you going, I put my finger in it and go... I want that. I was about to say I don't do that for everyone else, but I remember that I do sometimes make coffee for guests and I do the same thing.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
cream or sugar both please shove your hand in and swirl it you know and then i pop the filter out because it's like a little basket filter i flip it over because sometimes there's gunk there i rub my thumb over that one under the water and no soap or nothing i don't want soap in my coffee you gotta keep it seasoned shake slap go right in don't even dry it i don't need to dry it
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Anyway, I look for a cup. Realize I don't have a cup. Look around for a cup. Walk away. Forget that I was gonna make coffee. Come back. Oh yeah, I need a cup. Look in the drawer of cups where there's no cups. Go, fuck, no cups. Go wash a cup. Actually, no, I go to my office. I pick up the various used coffee mugs.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
No, I don't have her. Months later, Amy's cup still on the desk. I take my cups back all in a big bundle to the sink. And I'm like, well, I don't want to wash them. I'll just let them soak. Put some soap in there. I try not to breathe in the mold spores that go poof.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
The clean air, you just like... I cannot explain how this is not an exaggeration of anything I do. I let it soak. I go back to the coffee machine. I'm about to take it out because I'm like, ah, man, I don't have a clean... I'm going to make some coffee. I look at it and I'm like, oh, yeah, wait, I was going to make coffee. Seal it back in there.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Take one of my shitty cups, clean it out, put it under there, pull a shot of espresso, then cream and extra hot water. It's got a nice hot water dispenser there on the side. And then I don't clean it after I'm done. I let that bad boy sit in there until the next day.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
They're not disturbed in his office. Yeah, as soon as I put water in, they go... Oh, gotcha. Okay. So that's the order that I make coffee in.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Once every seven years is probably factory, right? Yeah. Yep. And the filter gets replaced once every time I remember.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I'm not gonna lie, I was in a different universe for a second there. I didn't hear a word you said, Bob, and I was looking right at you. The spore creature inside of his brain was speaking to him. My brain was like, halfway through that I was in a different world. I was like, oh man, thank goodness it's Wade's turn because I wasn't catching any of this. I'll play this off really smoothly.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
And don't worry, I'll just pick it up when I figure out what he's talking about and then say something associated. And I'll be like, yeah, perfect strategy, Mark. No one will ever know that you weren't paying attention.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
It's not that I wasn't listening. That'll happen sometimes. ADHD thing, it's just like, I'll be there, present, just not here. All up in here. Just non-existent to the world. What did you say at all?
Distractible
Order Matters Too
it's nowadays i mean i haven't updated my phone in two years but um i used to do it every release uh and it was always backed up because it just was back up and then it would restore and i wouldn't but you have to like log into stuff and and like set things up don't you no not usually if you have if you have like two factor i feel like you have to re-log in anyway even if it is
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Oh, right, for like the authentication codes and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, you have to re-log into those. But for the most part, yeah, I keep it all carried over. I don't know. I get the excitement of like, new thing, new thing, new thing. And then I fire it up like, ah, it looks the same. That's fair. That's fair. I can't. And then I put it down and I'm like, oh, it's my phone now.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
And I go, I'm going to protect it this time or I'm going to wear it without a, I'm going to use no protection. Oh my. All right. Now I have no case. Anyway, maybe I didn't pay attention because I was a side man. I don't really have an opinion about this.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Well, Mark, what did you have done last week? So, I want to give a shout-out to the D2SteelFoamer on the subreddit, FollowTheScript, who not only loves D2Steel specifically, it's their favorite steel, and they have an emotional support
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Bark. Oh, man. I will rip open all the bags with all the tiny little parts in them first. And you'd think that I would place them in an order, but no, I plop them on the ground in a pile because I don't know why I have to get all the parts out of the bags. I feel like I'm rescuing it from suffocating.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Why the single pile, though? I don't know. I just have to have it all out because I'm like, I gotta have it ready to access. Other than that, it's less insane, I think, except I usually will try to treat it like a test and the instructions is an answer sheet.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Okay, yeah. So I will look at it all, be like, I went to engineering school, I can figure this out. And I'll put something together, and then I will just... Like, I'll do that, and if it went together, I'll be like, okay, check instructions. Yep. Or I'll check instructions and it's a fun surprise when I go like, nope. Why did it fit together? And I'll be like, oh, well, that's probably fine.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I did that with my motherboard where I put I put a thing in the it's like a cooler you have to put in the back and then and attach it at the front and it fit together perfectly and then I looked at the instructions I was like this is specifically for AMD CPUs to do in this configuration and I looked at it around my Intel CPU and I go like well it works
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Yeah, and then for, I haven't assembled anything Ikea for a while, but it's usually like that, because I look at it, and it is, it's like A to 1, and I'm like, okay, and they usually have the same kind of parts, and they're all very uniform, except the screws are all very different, but dowel rods and those twisty doohickeys, they all are basically the same, so I'm like, I know what this looked like in the store, I just gotta put it together like it was, as I remember in my mind.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
little stick of d2 steel which is which i can really appreciate i can appreciate that oh i get that that is that is something there's only been a few times when i've held something in my hand and been like wow i can feel something about this you know the shape yeah no i know it's about a metal you know not anything in my hand going like wow i can feel something mark stands in the mirror holding his dick in his hand wow i could feel something about this
Distractible
Order Matters Too
When I was building my server stuff, well, number one, you shouldn't do that by yourself, as I've been told many times, especially loading it in there. But servers have rails that you put into a server rack. And I was pretty confident that I knew how those go together. Almost killed myself. I almost lost an eight GPU server just because I guessed wrong at how they go out.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
See, I fully extended the arms out and then tried to slot it in when in reality you don't need to do that. They can just be like a little bit out so that they're off of the thing and then you can slide it in. When it was fully out and it's meant to hold the weight, but only after it's been in there. So I push it out and it's like 150 pounds and I'm like extending my arms out
Distractible
Order Matters Too
and the rails go and they bend and then the thing is falling because I trusted it and then I catch it and I'm like and I have to like pinch it with my fingers as hard as I can while pulling my back backwards to leverage it forward and then land it on my feet I think I've told you about that I didn't tell you exactly the circumstances that it occurred and then I feel my back go and I feel my feet go and then I scream
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I really did. I used my hips as a fulcrum and my back as a cantilever and I, physics was on my side.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Your winner speech for Wade? I, George Wade Barnes. Oh. To hereby accept this gracious, prestigious award. But I can't accept it. It's beneath me to let awards and ego get in the way of my victory. Therefore, I, George Wade Barnes, forfeit this competition.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
In the advent of fairness and understanding, and I will step aside for my competitor, Mark Edward Fischbach, also known as Markiplier, as the winner. Wow, that's big of you, Wade. What can he say?
Distractible
Order Matters Too
I was so excited to say Markiplier out. I cleverly didn't pay attention, which got me the second spot. Because if I had tried that in the first spot, it wouldn't have worked. Ha! But my genius subconscious pulled my consciousness away for that moment to get me the win.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
This entire strand of hair went right in my mouth and there's still hair in my mouth. Shave it. What?
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Habit, whenever I think of hair. Well, yeah, so shout out to them. How much is a silver bar worth? Depends on the size of the bar and the price of silver. Well, that's not a standard bar. I don't think that's a thing, but okay.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
aren't they a 10 ounce bar is about 330 dollars probably that's probably not the actual like price price of silver that's like the price of this bar but who knows i might be wrong oh silver is 30.97 an ounce right now and after this episode yeah absolutely like the like the spacex starship
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Yeah, it's just test flight. There was no human loss of life. In other things about my life, listen, Ford, it's been real, but you gotta step up. You gotta put out or put up. You gotta step in or step out. What's the expression? You gotta put your right foot in.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
you put your right foot out yeah you gotta shit in the hole or leave yeah exactly that's what you gotta do because i hear uh chev well i hear because they're talking to me chevy's talking to me and i hear them it's big of you to listen if you want to catch me right at the cusp of me becoming a truck guy i know i bought the truck that you sell but you know what i mean Give him two more.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
It's a bidding war. How many trucks? How many trucks? Not quality, just quantity. They got to be EV trucks. They got to be electric. They got to be electric. I'm not going to be rolling coal. I'm going to be rolling lithium.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
God damn. But if I mean, Bob, you kind of hooked me up on the contact. So, you know.
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Order Matters Too
I don't know what the Tundra is, but... Toyota's weird because they're very against making fully electric vehicles, which is strange given that they started it with the Prius. I know that's a hybrid, but...
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Order Matters Too
I'm the only one who doesn't like those movies somehow. Then he just becomes stupid. And I think that was a weird pivot.
Distractible
Order Matters Too
Well, the rate of technological improvement is only accelerating. So it's like... And the size of the United States doesn't change. So the rollout of anything takes...
Distractible
Peekaboo!
I was reading some of the comments, and everyone's like, wow, Mark's dedication to figuring that out. And I was like, if he'd played the game for 10 more minutes, rather than the 40 minutes he took in Photoshop, he might have just found the item that shows that.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
I'm Wade a second, and I'll tell ya. Wade, that's the wrong hole. Lars, Lars, pants on Fars. I think that was one of them, right?
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Turn around with ten fingers on one hand and, like, three noses. Like, ah, perfect.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
I had another weird medical wake up. You guys remember the Uvula Chronicles, right? So Molly and I were traveling. We got back late in the evening. I think like Monday or whatever it was. I was up late. I think I decided to record more blueprints or whatever have you. So I went to bed late. Got about two and a half hours of sleep and then I woke up. All the animals were like We need to shit now.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
I was like, all right, well, I guess i'll take the animals out and I wouldn't just sit up I was like, oh Ah, ah my fucking left eye was burning like I had just poured hot sauce into it like burning like crazy I couldn't really open it.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
I finally did I couldn't see out of it I was like almost amsler greeting myself trying to see like different points of vision Did I lose part of my vision what happened to me the cat scratched my eye in my sleep? I was freaking out. So I'm trying to take the animals out. I'm trying to like look at my phone to call an eye doctor because they had just opened at this point.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
It's like eight in the morning. Get the animals outside. I call and I'm like, something's wrong with my eye. I don't know. I woke up. I can't open my eye. It's blurry. It's pouring out water, burning like crazy.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
And I went in and the doctor got like this yellow dye, put a drop in each eye, put me under the appellation lamp, which is like where you put your chin and your forehead and these little blue light pressure test and stuff. And the one thing I think you never want to hear a doctor say is what my doctor decided to say, which was, well, that's weird.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Well, this is a show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most gets to host the next episode. Hence why I'm here right now. And these two will be competing today. But as always, we usually start by catching up. And we actually haven't gotten to talk, the three of us, in a while. So, how's life? What's new?
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Anytime your doctor finds something weird or unusual they haven't seen before, you don't want that. So, of course, immediately I was like, oh no, what's weird? And he's like, well, it looks like you just have a dry spot. And I was like, okay. That doesn't sound that weird. Maybe my eyelid got pried open or something. He's like, but it's in a spot that shouldn't have just dried out.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Like the middle of my cornea had this like diamond shaped dry spot where just for whatever reason there was no moisture in the middle of my cornea and my pupil and stuff. And he's like, well, if your eyelid had been pried open partially while sleeping, you'd expect to see it dry in this region. Like he drew it out and all like on this eye picture.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
And he's like, if this was like, he was showing different things. He's like, for it to be this pattern right here, but moisturized everywhere else is bizarre. And I was like...
Distractible
Peekaboo!
great what do we do about that i'm glad to be a guinea pig here but uh help me please help me in pain scared help uh he just gave me a moisturizing drop i was like i guess we'll try this let me we'll keep in touch come back and not tomorrow but day after and i'll do a recheck and see how things are going
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Thankfully, skipping ahead, my eye, I use the drops, my eye's better, but no explanation as to how a random spot of my eye just shriveled up and dried and died in the middle of my sleep.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
you don't have to tell me it's like high normal i worked with eyes for a while okay maybe a decade ago but like this i was 23 this i was 21 it was a little elevated from the steroid drop nothing crazy vision seems normal i couldn't wear contacts for a few days just because the doctor was worried i was wearing glasses days first time back in context
Distractible
Peekaboo!
I don't know, it was just very painful and very confusing to wake up half asleep and just be excruciating pain like that out of nowhere. Anyway, Wade's medical anomalies, take two. Someone's gonna be like, well, with uvula and the eye combined, what it actually means is your spleen is failing. Let me know, I guess. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime.
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Peekaboo!
Mark, you're once again hiding in witness protection somewhere, it looks like.
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Peekaboo!
Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to Amazon.com slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes.
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Peekaboo!
good small talk boys good small talk i have a bit of time for an actual episode so let's jump in you guys remember we've done a couple of episodes in the past where i had some old-timey phrases and i would read you the phrase you guys tell me what it meant all right we're doing more of that all right oh don't oversell it There's a couple reasons why. One, I really enjoy it.
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Peekaboo!
Two, we still have a lot left in this mental floss article. Three, I like mental floss. I don't know much about them as a webpage, but I just like the word mental floss. I like the compound word that it is, because I think of all the crevices in your brain being flossed, and I enjoy... Sorry, Bob. I'm aphantasia biased against, I guess, but I enjoy the mental image I get of a brain being flossed.
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Peekaboo!
We've done 44 of these. I was looking through my notes. We've done quite a few of them, and there's still a lot left. Let me find my coin. I don't remember who went where last, so I'm going to flip a coin to see which one of you goes first. Bob, your heads mark your tails. All right, let's get a good flip.
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Peekaboo!
That was a very sharp pencil. You're right, Mark. You've convinced me. You have convinced me that that's the proper way.
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Peekaboo!
It is tails. Which means, Mark, you go first here, which won't really matter.
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Peekaboo!
Don't know what crime I'm going to confess about, but... Usually you're being protected from ratting out someone else that committed a crime. It's not always yours.
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Peekaboo!
well wade which one do you prefer returning your happy ending raining jizz unfortunately neither one of those are the happy returns happy returns despite the name is actually just vomiting that doesn't make any sense at all silly that implies that the vomiting is good yeah really just vomiting that's that's kind of that's kind of it i don't have uh i don't have a where it originated or anything like that just mine was closer how
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Peekaboo!
The word is lean away? Like the word lean and the word away combined into one compound word.
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Peekaboo!
It says a lot, though, that you think you have a crime. Why would they be protecting you?
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Peekaboo!
A lion sleeps tonight. I love that instead of telling me what it means, you just put it in another sentence. Seriously.
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Peekaboo!
What is it? If we can't even say Hoonamakata, I'm not sure we're going to figure out some of these words. Hoonamakata. What is Hoonamakata? Hoonamakata. Huna. Makata. Lean away is just someone who's tipsy.
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Peekaboo!
I think I gotta give Mark the point for this one. Bob, I love your creativity, but I felt more drunk listening to the Huna Makata talk that you contributed to. That was my words! I know, but it was contributing to Mark's idea of the song.
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Peekaboo!
O-F-F, off the cob. All right, off the cob. Good job. I should give you a point just for repeating what I said.
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Peekaboo!
I feel like this is the fucking Saturday Night Live celebrity Jeopardy bullshit.
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Peekaboo!
I forgot that classic desert strategy of peekaboo keeps you cool in the desert. I just rubbed my face and I was like, say peekaboo. I was like, why? Well, it's very important to cover yourself up from the sun in the desert. Peekaboo is a classic. It loses track of you real quick.
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Peekaboo!
oddly enough mark you're closer that i'd like you to be with this interpretation that's what i'm thinking that's what i'm thinking that's what i'm saying seeing something and thinking it should be different or perhaps better a red onion is a dive bar how am i closer how how am i how i don't think they have a lot of vegetables at dive bars
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Peekaboo!
I think it's called a red onion because you go there and it ends up being a dive bar. I don't know. I don't get a lot of descriptions for this. Mark, I think you're first this time. You have got this. This one was built for you. What is meant by the slang phrase, focus your audio?
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Peekaboo!
No. Can you use it in a sentence? Yeah, use it in a sentence. Focus your audio.
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Peekaboo!
I don't know what you said, but yeah, I agree. Bob, what does focus your audio mean?
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Peekaboo!
It's good. No, it's good. But I thought you had it because your description was going in the right direction. It's like, oh my God, he's going to get this. And then the pun came and I was like, I felt what you guys feel when I talk. A part of my soul died. It's fun, right? It is for everyone else. Focus your audio just means listen carefully. Man, that's just not funny. Yeah, that's not right.
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Peekaboo!
The whole point of this is you guys are funny, which is why I enjoy this. It hurts me, but also it's very enjoyable. Bob, what does it mean to be Claus Sharps?
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Peekaboo!
Did you cut out or did you say the music scale is Agaba Claws? Agaba Claws? Everyone knows Agaba Claws.
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Peekaboo!
Paul Sharp describes someone who's well-informed on a variety of topics. I'll give you all something. I don't know if it's point. I'll take anything at this point. I don't even. Mark, what is having the bright disease? Having the bright disease? Yeah, someone could have bright disease. What does that mean?
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Peekaboo!
It could be. This one is, this is a tough one, I will say. I don't know that either one of you are going to get it. So I'm interested to see what you come up with. But Bob, what's the bright disease?
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Doom the Dark Age is available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Rated M for Mature.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
He's got the bright disease. The bright disease describes someone who knows too much, particularly the kind of information that could lead someone to ratting someone else out. At least in the mafia, having the bright disease often meant you needed to go.
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Peekaboo!
Okay, so I've got a few here for you, Bob. This is one of those where I give you a multiple. I could just do this one at a time, but I'm just going to get through this one. Bob, what is a blobber? A cabbage hat? A pigeon? A viper? A telegram?
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Peekaboo!
It's actually the book that the author wrote competing with Holes. One had X-Ray, the other one had Telegram.
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Peekaboo!
That one came out on a Sunday. God was taking it off, had a little bit of whiskey, came up with Cabbage Hat.
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Peekaboo!
You try naming everything in existence. These are all terms for someone who is a rat.
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Peekaboo!
Who goes first this time? Who went first last time? Mark. You're up now. Mark, what is a Master John Goodfellow?
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Peekaboo!
It reminds me in The Godfather whenever Michael says, Father, I want to be a real boy.
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Peekaboo!
Bob, as a follow-up to that, what is the staff of life? Just another name for Alexander Hamilton's penis. Mark, the staff of life.
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Peekaboo!
I think we're going down the right track here. Bob, you're right. Master John Goodfellow is another name for male anatomy. All right. As is the Gentleman Usher, the Staff of Life, the Cyprian Scepter, and the Maypole. All of these are penis.
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Peekaboo!
The most logical explanation you've had for any of these yet. I think I should give you a point just for somehow doing that. And I'm proud of you. You want logical. I've got an answer for you. All right, Bob, what is the Phoenix nest?
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Peekaboo!
That's how I sold it. I said it was the most logical thing. That was so A plus B equals C. It blew my mind, to be honest with you. That wasn't even A plus B. That was A plus B equals B plus A. That was just A equals A. Yeah, that was a perfect tautology.
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Peekaboo!
I'll get to that. Bob, what is Mrs. Fub's Parlor? Oh, that wasn't the last one. Got it.
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Peekaboo!
Just like Bob was good with John Goodfellow. Mark, you're right. These are all female anatomy.
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Peekaboo!
I don't know if that's... Me and the missus went down to Mrs. Pub's parley yesterday. You both went? It does say two.
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Peekaboo!
all right well we'll wrap up there mark um you got vagina bob you got penis congrats yay bonus point i'm trying to think what i want to do for a bonus point oh yeah you need to add a thing to the wheel which is the thing i am in charge of i don't know i feel like this might go against you a little bit bob but i don't know if we have one on here for where are they like for someone being somewhere else
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Peekaboo!
Away from home or mystery studio? I don't know. Something like that. Undisclosed location? Witness protection. Put it down as witness protection. Oh, witness protection, yeah. I'm sure when that comes up in like four months, we'll all be like, what the fuck was that?
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Peekaboo!
I'll read off what you guys have points for so far without telling you the totals. Mark, you have points for peekaboo, heck gibberish. tech gibberish damn put the sex back is that what that says sure something lion king alina way alina this cannot say to love man pies but it looks like it says to love man pies this is exactly what it says because i said it means no worries
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Peekaboo!
Egaba Claws, and Vagina. Bob, you got points for Aha, Brave Son, Raining Jizz, Happy Returns, Off the Cob, Something Mikada, Focus Your Audi, Yo, Bright Disease, Santa Sharp and Penis.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
If that's how you two want to determine it, I guess I can go that route. I was going to say I was going to give it to Bob because Bob's camera quality is just so much better today.
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Peekaboo!
I'll leave it up to a coin whether I go with camera quality or just Mark's cleanliness. Mark's cleanliness will be heads. Camera quality will be tails.
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Peekaboo!
friendliness mark gets the point thank you i'm very glad it didn't land on viewers or listeners because i gotta say it was tied at 10 oh i got a bad feeling about the outcome so the clean point going to mark means that mark wins by one congratulations me the winner really hope the recording quality is better than what i'm seeing right
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Peekaboo!
Well said. If you haven't already, go follow Mark at Markiplier. Follow him at MySkirm. You can follow me if you want, Minion777 or LordMinion777. I'm still posting blueprints, and I'm sure Mark will be too. And I guess Mark will host the next one. Stay tuned for that. Until then, podcast out.
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Peekaboo!
Are your printers like talking in your dreams like, Mark, you forgot about us, Mark?
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Peekaboo!
with my all my computers nice i don't know why i'm just imagining you have this intricate setup you launch the computer you enter this crazy password and then you're just like dropping a stick figure into the water once it goes splash and you're like yes that is exactly that is exactly that there is an extremely intricate system of power just for all these computers and i load it up and i go let's have it go and it goes and i go like ah
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Eight guys wearing sunglasses, having earpieces in with like guns. You have to like scan your badge. You get to the room and it's just whoosh.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Not to brag, but I once had to launch a Windows computer in DOS mode to play a game. Damn. I know. That's pretty similar to what you guys are talking about, right?
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Peekaboo!
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Mm hmm. at least add some pain you guys remember that whole car thing we talked about right like getting a car wade's car is parked in his driveway let's go let's get a picture of it oh very soon very soon my car a few weeks ago hit the port in germany oh And then it was in transit across the ocean. I got this weird tweet. Someone sent me a tweet.
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Peekaboo!
They're like, Wade, bad news about your car. And I was like, who the hell are you? What are you talking about? And it showed a picture of like a bunch of cargo containers washing up on a beach where apparently there was a boat accident and BMW and all their containers got lost at sea. And I was like, Oh, no. I looked it up. I was like, oh, thank God. This looks like it was from 2023 or something.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I am today's host, Wade, because I finally won again. I say the word finally because I don't remember the last time I won. It could have been two in a row. I might have hosted and given myself the win. Can't remember, but I feel like it's been a while. Therefore, good job me.
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Peekaboo!
Not me. Not me. And so you got your car. Last week, Molly and I were out of town. I was keeping track. I was like, still in transit. Still in transit. They said take two to four weeks to get across the ocean. That's fine. Whatever. And then two days ago, I looked and it was like, okay, I was on step like 14 of 16 for delivery. I looked. It was like step 13 at port.
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Peekaboo!
wait a minute we were we've been in transit for like a week what do you mean at port how do we we're not back in germany right like this is a different car like they're at this port they're at the port in the u.s right like they hit this port they just went backwards in the step and tell me that it's actually here and soon i'll have a car it's still at port with no updates and my car actually got deleted at one point from the app and i had to go re-add it
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Put me in Guam. I don't know where it is. I have one more. Well, I've got two more things. I might save one of them. I got one more thing at least I want to mention right now. Mark. I've been hyping up a game for a while here, and you finally played it. Blueprints. I watched you play it, and I gotta say two things. One, I'm impressed. Two, God, I hate you.
Distractible
Peekaboo!
So Blueprints is a puzzle game, right? You figure out different ways to unlock information to move, and there's different clues that lead you down different rabbit holes and things. Mark came across the first puzzle
Distractible
Peekaboo!
Let me tell you, spoilers incoming. There's literally an item you find in the game that when you look at that note, it reveals the password. You don't have to do that.
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Peekaboo!
look i just i was like he's never gonna make another episode because if this is how he tackles puzzles in the game he's like something i can't quite see what if i get the hubble telescope can i rent that for a week and i just hold that aim it at my monitor i can read this microscopic text hey look man i got it i don't know what you're complaining about i solved the puzzle
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
No, you lose a point for Floroade. I dodged that one. I weaved right in there, weaved right out for the point loss. Mark Inception, the shit out of you on that one.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I think they had a string on each foot and they held them up like a balloon and they were like... Haha.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Look at this midface. You think I hide this? I accentuate it by framing it.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Yeah, I feel like this isn't the important details to realize about this story.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I'm saying it's not Florida because the plan was perfectly executed. It was completed. At whatever the hell they did. Usually Florida Man stories end in, and then obviously it was a horrible disaster. Dozens are dead. That's true.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
You see how I actually thin my long face to elongate it to get the long. I just want to be that drawing, that critical commissioned.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Yeah, that's the thing that jumped out to me the most. I want that.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Since the Segway, I think that all forms of motorized transport are valid, considering I've tried a few oddball ones. I don't know if I can get behind the suitcase that you ride.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Man, I asked the right questions here. Sorry, Wade. Well, Wade, I guess you lose.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I'm gonna play the odds. Not Florida. Because at this point, I'm so deep into the Not Florida, I have to hit it.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Not Florida. This feels very Florida. It's got a whiff of Florida to it. I can smell the swamps. I can detect a little bit of Floridian in here. That's fair.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I'm getting crushed. You really played the odds on that one. I played the odds on... Well, no, it smelled Florida. I don't know what it is, but that just seems like something that would take place in Florida. It
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Armless, legless Florida man goes on drunk bender after messy divorce. Armed? Question mark? Aha, parentheses.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Where talk? Who talk? You talk? Mark talk? Me talk? I'll talk. Alright, I'll go. Oh. I had a leak. So one of my, I have two radiator pump, like all in one things to have an external cooling for servers necessary because you can't cram it inside. And one of the pumps failed. It was still, the fans were still going, so it was still cooling, but the pump inside wasn't pumping.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Yeah, that's fair. Ohio is more of like a, you know, like a dark fantasy versus the fan of the whimsical fantasy of Florida. Ohio has all the like terrible monsters and mythos like that.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
A safe destination. She heard there was a reward for turning yourself in. She was like, I gotta get in on that.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
No, I also say Florida, uh, because... Well, well, well, where's the balls on this one? Oh, they're shrinking.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I knew it. The excuse is what gets it to me. The excuse feels Florida. I believe Florida.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
So what this did is it created kind of a backlog of pressure as the other one, which was earlier in the loop, was pushing into this other one. Oh, they're in series. Yeah, so they're in series. I tried parallel.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Emergency road gas leak problem. It's fine. I think that this one has all the hallmarks of Florida. And I'm already locking it in, but I'm going to explain it. It has a multi-step plan. All these Florida men or Florida woman things have multi-step plans. They have an objective and then they circumvent when obstacles get in their way and they have a funky escape vehicle.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
It wasn't working because for some reason, if I thought about it a little more, it's just like they wanted to push into each other as opposed to into the loop of the whole system because there's more resistance there. von allen verschiedenen Ports des Systems gegenüber einander, auch wenn sie sie drücken. Ansonsten funktioniert ein Parallel oder eine Serie. Und einer der Pumpen fehlte.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Are you sure it wasn't Florida? Are you sure?
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Calm down. They got the five feathered disc. Oh man, I can't. I can't do it. Let's just drop this right now, guys. It's just a warning. Thank you.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Und dann war es so, dass die Druck aufgebaut wurde. Und ich habe einen Druck-Lösung-Valve. Richtig. Es soll Luft aus dem Wasser kommen, wenn es zu viel wird. Aber auch Wasser kann aus dem Wasser kommen, wenn die Druck hoch genug ist. Und es war hoch genug. Und so habe ich mich heute Morgen eingeladen und es war einfach so, dass das Wasser über dieses Ding war. Das ganze Unit war tot.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
This is obvious and you're dumb. Except you're right in that it's Florida because I can see the headline of something something eating chicken leaving in there. Ew, gross.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
This took place in Tampa Bay, Florida. JP did this. I thought you were gonna say Tampa Bay, North Dakota. That would be a hell of a twist.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
It's super close. If it's so close, why does it need to be such a big number?
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I don't know if it died from the leak first or if something busted inside it, but it was just like water was everywhere. Thankfully, my pump radiators are outside of the server room. So I have been venting out of the server room. And I did that literally just two days ago. Where they were before they failed was sitting on top of all the servers in the rack.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
locked in this is a trick it's a trick splitting up into two parts and giving extra points for identifying what state it actually is sounds like it's or what city in florida or what city in florida i forgot about that part okay the trick is falling apart before my eyes it's a trick that's not tricky at all this is florida and i know so many cities in florida
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Well, I've already said a couple during this episode that you could recall.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I don't think I've ever guessed worse in a game like this ever in my life. Did I only get two? Have I only gotten two? You got four. Oh, okay.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Where it would have literally rained down the front and back and gone right in all the power cords and everything. Could not have been in a better position before. And I changed it all up because I looked at it and I was just like, man, this is cable hell. I gotta fix this. I'm never gonna be upgraded. Little did I know, I saved my entire server.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
What's crazy is I was telling you as it was happening, the whole show, like I'm getting destroyed. Fuck, I'm losing. I still don't believe you. Which I really appreciate, the ride or die mentality. That's great.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
Oh yeah. Mark Loser's speech. I apologize for my performance this one. It just wasn't my day. I wasn't on my A-Game. I tried to use my brain. That should be a lesson I take into the future. I just can't relate to the Floridian experience apparently. And I've lost my Ohio roots. And I will hereby retire in disgrace from my dishonorable discharge from this podcast.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I would be the saddest you've ever seen me in my life. I would be just a broken shell.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
No, I was just about to say, I now know what it's like when I'm yapping about something you guys don't care about, because holy shit, I don't care about Hanabi.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
No, no, see, the things I like are actually cool. So, you know, I think that that makes it very clear.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I would go to Topgolf anytime just because that is fun. You get food and you can sit around and you know, it's nice. If you go to a golf course, you get to drive golf carts around, which is fun and way more fun than it sounds.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
And it's very exciting. Are you supposed to do that? Or is that just something you can do in a golf cart?
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I will go to Topgolf with you. Absolutely. Hanabi? I'll play Hanabi at the Topgolf. I mean, I'll play Hanabi, but I want to do golf also.
Distractible
Florida or No Florida?
I like to keep you guessing because I don't know either. You think I planned this? I didn't. Did you guys plan to wear glasses today and leave me out of it? My perfect vision?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I mean, it was effective. It sounded like it didn't work out, but... I like it because the time it takes to get to the tailpipe that you know is theirs, the bread has gone more stale, so it really compacts in there. And everyone knows, just like a critical point on a boss, big bread and glow in the tailpipe, shove some in there, whole car blows up.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
The gift picture they took at the end that cost us 40 bucks. Yeah, yeah. All right. Good, good. Bob?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
That could mean multiple things. I will have that added to the wheel. Best time. Either you're having a great time or you did the episode in record time. You won with the least amount of moves. Ooh. That's pretty fun. That is interesting. I like that. Is that the Grandmaster win? Yeah, something like that.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
That's weird. Eight ball refers to 3.5 grams of cocaine. Oh, because it's one eighth of an ounce. Why wouldn't it say that first?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
But before we do that we got to hear about our lives I can as much as I want to kick it off with my life and the amazing things going on here I guess I have to defer to these two gentlemen here whose lives are equally as interesting chock-full of adventure And I can't wait to hear about it
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I need some pasta fazool. Now you guys are never going to know where the place where your family is.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Well, I did that cryptically because the Portuguese didn't know about Olive Garden. They probably did, but I assumed that they didn't. Was there a big rivalry between Olive Garden and Portugal?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
That's it. That's great, guys. You really tapped into it. Very, very illegal. All those... I think we're on it.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Oh, man, that's great. Okay, what about something a little, you know, less devastating? So this happens every time I travel. Like, I'm flying, I check my bags, I get them free, because fucking diamond medallion me over here. Holy shit, three free bags or something? Unbelievable. They could even be overweight. They don't even care. They don't even care.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Have fun, stupid. When I'm flying and I'm in the lap of luxury and beautiful comfort plus. Sure, sure, sure. Anyway, but after I get off and I got away from my bags, I'm standing, you know, like a sane person.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
outside of the actual belt away from it so that I'm not blocking up everything and you know people come off and they they get to my left they line up right next to me or maybe someone was there I line up right next to them right about where you know the benches in the sitting area is
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Then comes Fucko McGee over here, as soon as it goes And they start moving Right up in the middle of it Right, and knees touching the metal I'm gonna get it as soon as it comes here, it's gonna be fast, I better be ready And then suddenly every douchebag in the world comes flooding up and blocking everything Even in front of me, side of me, doesn't matter I was like, oh I can see everything, now I can see nothing
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Exactly that. You know, the douchebag walk. Bob, you're first. What do I do?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
They make a portable fog machine that I've used before on set and like for film shoots and stuff. If you stuck that in your pants and suddenly you started emitting a fog, I think people would run away in the same way.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
You fill it with stink juice instead of fart juice. That would be horrible. Well, you got to make yourself immune to it. So you got to endure it for like many months of just stink juice up your nose.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Did you coat the entire belt with sandpaper or did you put one square and you shove them down? You're like, this will teach you. Ow. Gotta really wait for it to come back around.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
The dread, the dread of it coming back is what really will teach him a lesson. All right, I'll take that. This is relatively tame compared to the restaurant, but I guess- Well, I sort of thought we were going to escalate this one.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
When you go through the crowd, do you do the thing where you touch everyone on the shoulders? Yeah.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I was thinking also, you could do that with your preparation time. I thought it was something where you paint an optical illusion spiral into the conveyor belt that only activates when it starts moving. So all the sheeple that start walking towards, they fall asleep, fall into the conveyor belt, and then get ground in the mechanisms. And you are smart enough to look away.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Oh, I'm sorry. You put anvil in the ceiling and a luggage shredder is too much for you? While E. Coyote doesn't believe in your luggage belt shredders. You don't get your bag fast enough, it gets shredded.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
This one isn't affecting you directly, but it's affecting your experience and also just like public sanctity and common rules and like common decency as our fellow humans and guardians on this planet, right? Sure. Yes. You're at an aquarium having a lovely time. Best time. Look at all the fish. Oh, the jellyfish exhibit. It's all dark in here. You see them. Oh, they're glowing. It's so cool.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Walking through. All right. Then you hear tink, tink, tink, tink. Well, that's an odd sound. Tink, tink, tink, tink. It's getting louder. Tink, tink, tink. You look behind you. There's someone. Could be a little kid. Just tink, tink, tink, tink, tink on the glass. Everywhere. Every single exhibit. Tink, tink, tink it on the glass. That's illegal by itself. Probably.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I appreciate that, man. I appreciate it. All right, let's wrap it up there, man.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Call your friend Ultron. I'm going to read the points and then I'll add, you know, who had the best time, whatever definition that is to the wheel. But we'll start with Bob because you're on the left here. You got a point for suicide hole. You got a point for how much is an eight ball. That was just a question I had.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Olive Garden, separate point for Olive Garden on the moon, pig pen-esque cloud, fart suit prank, assassin's carbon fiber, Maui's magic hook. I just wrote shark. That was a separate idea. Eight magic clones, nuclear waste, and you tusk them.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Uh, Wade, you got the deer. Actually a bitch. That'll fucking teach him. Give me those drugs. What was that from? Give me those drugs. I don't remember. Your travel sandpaper. Anvils. Little shit bag. Little shits bag. Sorry. Piranha tank. Technology's come a long way. Human kissipede. And on your left, which one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Nickelback. Give me those drugs.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Oh, yeah, yeah. I knew it was funny. I laughed at it. I just couldn't remember why. All right, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Damn. You guys were killing it this game. Bob marginally more by one point, but we'll see how the wheels shake up to do that. Give me a 3. A D3. Please roll a D3 die. Here we go. And start. Start.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
wearing the least amount of clothes i got three pieces i have socks pants underwear undershirt and shirt on no socks oh yeah usually usually do two shirts bob and i forgot about that i do i yeah i have an undershirt on today it's just one so that's one up it would be tied right now it could technically be a tie but depending on how these points shake out oh one man show opportunity
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
What did get the biggest laugh? There was a lot of laughs. Bob, you had consistently really funny stuff, but I think one of Wade's jokes made me laugh really hard. It was, it was either between like, I think it was the third iteration of that'll fucking teach him just cause it had like callback in there. And also just the insanity of human kiss of Pete.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Oh, eight magic clones and the froggers stuff really made me laugh hard. This was a, this was a laugh heavy episode. I don't know what the biggest laugh is. This was a really, the olive garden and the moon. I was dying. Oh, give me those drugs. I did laugh. Oh man. I don't know. I don't fucking know.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I think if anything, this was pretty equivalent in terms of the funnies. I had a great time. You boys should be very proud.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Yeah. How about I flip a coin for this? Heads. Wave your tails. Heads. Bob's up. Bob's up by one. This could either decide it or tie it. All right. Come on, baldest.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Viewers took it away from me. I feel like it's landed on those a lot. They're lucky. So with an extremely close game of a toss up of that coin toss, Bob takes it by one point. Congratulations, Bob. Whew. That was very funny. You guys, I know that puts a lot on you guys for making up the stuff, but just like last time, what was it, like a five-gallon bucket of wood glue?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Just shoot a shotgun in the air and hope you hit God, because it's his fault. If you haven't listened to the first Illegal Advice, it's back in 2023 in October. It's a ways back, but very funny episode these guys were on there. Bob, I'm going to let you go first. Winner's speech.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
And as the host who had nothing to do with most of the jokes, I take all the credit. So this is an incredible episode that I host. Thank you, me, for being me, and everything that I'll do in the future will be hopefully as funny as something that happened in this episode. Thank you. Follow the podcast for more.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
We're on Spotify and YouTube and anywhere that we are listenable but only watchable on Spotify and YouTube. So go check them out there. Be sure to follow on all of them so it makes us look real good. And then, yeah, merch eventually. But sooner than you think. Later than you know. Podcast out.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
That was great. The adventure that is parenthood. Neither of us know anything about it. You mean you and Wade. I was going to say, I know a little bit. No, none of us know anything about it. Oh, so you know all about it, do you, Bob? You got the book on it, eh?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
That was for the viewers out there. Listeners, you have no idea what I just did. You have no idea.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
You better start watching. Did you guys know? Did we tell anybody that we came back to YouTube?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
We're still on Spotify, too. Still on Spotify, baby! We love Spotify! Almost as much as I love Prusa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that one coming. You already got your prune juice points. I will say, the world of 3D printing is both as cool and very uncool as I thought it would be. I will not explain why. I will not expound into it. It's Wade's turn to talk. Thank you.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
No, don't start it that way. Nope, that's it. We're in. And welcome to Distractible. I'm your host, Markiplier here. Back at it again with another hosting of an incredible episode that you're going to love in every way possible. We don't believe in cold opens here. This is the beginning and no one can say otherwise, right? And how. And how do we do this episode?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Yeah, what would that do? Would it attract the deer? Would it make you be able to sneak up on the deer? What's the objective?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
They're freaks, those deers. They probably would. For all you hunters out there, recommend what type of tank, what tank best kills deer?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
If you pull it up into an audio editing software and look at the spectrograph, you'll see his house and a map to it in the audio file.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Did he miss? Did he miss? No. Do you think my 22 could take out a deer?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I don't like the idea of unnecessary killing of pretty much anything. Some things... All right, I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. I'm saying it. Some things... deserve to die. Ah, let's just be clear. Let's be open. Let's all get it out there. We all think this. There are okay Pennsylvanians.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Nah, he's harmless. He's just a funny guy. I even think they didn't understand that they were being made fun of. Well, that's because it was so bad. He's like, that can't be our accent.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Well, that's because with Ethan, and you boys know this, is whenever you're talking to him, in his head is his joke he's got ready. He's practicing it. He's just berg, berg, berg, berg. In his head on loop as we're talking. No accent. Yeah, accent. You remember how he would always, like, he would say something to it, and he would say it again under his breath?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Yeah. I miss the show, man. Anyway, some things deserve to die is where I ended that, didn't I? Yeah, some things deserve to die. No more information needed. Listen, I think we can all agree mosquitoes, they deserve to die.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Well, the same way we do every episode. I'm the judge. I am soliciting these two gentlemen here to my whims. They can accept or not. I guess it's always optional. It's all you, man. The doors lock every time we start an episode. When the recording starts, doors can't open. There's no evidence of me ever leaving.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Yeah, there's flies for eating. There doesn't need to be mosquitoes. Flies serve a purpose. Mosquitoes, just a menace. Same with deer. No purpose. Incinerate them. Incinerate them.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
All right, I got a conundrum. I got a story. No, it's not a conundrum. I don't need a puzzle solved. Well, maybe I did in the past. If I'd have known, maybe I could have gotten through this, but I didn't. While the editors were in town. This is a true story. We had done a full week editing and we were going to go out and eat.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Now we had thought about going to the place where we're family, but we decided against that. What's that? Applebee's? No, you fool. It's the place where your family. When you're there, your family. Toots? When you're there, your family. White Castle? When you're there, your family. Disney World? No, when you're there, your magic. When you're there, family. Perkins? Casa Bonita?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
Okay. All right. Well, no, we weren't there anyway. It doesn't matter. What is it? I don't know the advertising for this place. I'll tell you later. I'll tell you later. Okay. When you're there, your family, wherever the fuck there is. Because this story isn't about us going to the place where our family is. We didn't go that night. It's a different place.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
We all went in there and I should have known it was going to be a kerfuffle when we got up to the host stand and the guy looked at us and was like, how many? And we're like, we got eight. And he goes, huh.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
and starts looking around like this and I would think he would look at his computer that says all the tables he starts going when you've been hosting long enough you could smell the open seats you know well it was open everywhere that was the thing it was not busy but he goes looks around he goes like I'll find you I'll find you a waiter and then he runs off and he comes back with no one and he says like alright I'll go to your seat
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
And we go over, we get sat, and there's other people in here, and, you know, it's fine. It's normal. We didn't think anything was weird. It took, like, 20 minutes for someone to come by, and it was the same guy being like, so sorry? Getting you a waiter.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I'll get you all something to drink. No, no. And then five minutes later, pretty quickly, he brings this waitress and she takes our drink order and then it's okay. It's like, we'll be right back. And then 20 minutes passed by. What? This lady was gone. Eight is probably a large number for places. It was so empty. So empty in there.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
And the other side of the restaurant was packed with waiters and people eating, having a great time. Oh, no, no.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
well she gets our drinks after a little bit and we bring them over and we put in like some appetizers and some people for some reason are like oh i haven't thought about what we're eating yet we've been here for an hour and i have no idea what i want editors if you're watching not you but you know who you are it's yeah not them but the other ones you know the other ones you know i mean we order she comes she goes away 15 minutes passed by she comes back hits the other tables
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
You're fine. All right. I'm going to do this for a while. Editors make multiple clones of him and overlay it so he's moving like a centipede. All right. So in this game today, we're going to have a great time. We're going to have a great time. Points to the person who has the best time. Oh, you already figured out your wheel spin?
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
leaves not us comes back with two appetizers five minutes later puts in front of me and someone in the middle of the table we're just like do we wait at this point you at least have salad or breadsticks or something right no oh and three people at the end haven't gotten their drinks yet
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
I had to reach over, well, what she did, I totally forgot, when she brought the drinks, she set out some of them, set the tray down on the table next to us, and left. And I had to go grab them off of the tray from the other table and pass them down the table to the other people. That was a minor thing, when things started to go weird.
Distractible
Illegal Advice Too
We finally order, and meanwhile people are getting seated in our area as we're ordering food. They get their drinks out. appetizers and their full meals before we finish getting our appetizers and there's eight of us that's not an exhort anyway so i need i need advice potentially illegal advice on how you guys would remedy this situation starting with hedges bobs wade
Distractible
When Was That Again?
and then hopefully gone this is what's wrong with today's generations tell you what oh speaking of knife you know what new knife i'm looking at the new steel uh a 22 lr knife
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Right? That's what I'm saying. I have no idea if it's actually better. But... Huh? Yeah? Yeah!
Distractible
When Was That Again?
It's going great. I've gone crazy. Oh, we knew it was only a matter of time. No. No, no, not at all, actually. Not at all, actually. But I cleaned some of the bullets. Wow.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Oh, it's probably one of those Nintendo things where it started as a Card company. So I'm going to say it's actually way, way earlier.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Whatever the percentage is. Yeah. So what I did was they have this like cleaner that I was like, it probably worked for that. So I put them in like a Tupperware thing with some paper towels at the bottom. And then I sprayed it down, which I was like, this is probably fine for bullets to be wet and sprayed with this.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Yeah, I think it was something where you upload a video of yourself... so that other people could see.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
it's not dead on very good guess mark i i like what he was saying about it's a 100 chance i'm gonna roll a d100 i'm gonna go with that answer all right i respect it here we go i'll put one out of 99 because it wouldn't make sense for sure sure sure well no 100 will be double zero oh yeah the 2000 slinky 1900 f fool oh shit what is
Distractible
When Was That Again?
chemical cleaner yeah sure sure probably fine anyway and then i went in the in the thing as it was shaking against the paper towels and i halfway through i was like this is dangerous no no what you should do is put them in the washing machine oh you're totally right what was i thinking that would be so much easier bullets love tide pods yeah anyway i wasn't like i i wasn't like a martini mixer you know just up by my ear yeah
Distractible
When Was That Again?
It probably was like a broken byproduct of some spring for a tank or something. And they were like, oh, this piece of shit. What do you think this is? Throw it.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
sight unseen i just slammed that video public didn't even check it might be the raw recording for all i know if it is honestly it'll probably go more viral than if it's an edited video so no worries either way his vocal warm-up was like i hate my subscribers i hate my subscribers i hate my subscribers i've done that before where i upload a raw recording and people in the comments are being like hey this is a odd uh wide version of it and i can't really hear your voice but great video
Distractible
When Was That Again?
There's a new, I haven't seen this before, but it's the inspiration section that just appeared and it'll, I'm assuming using AI, generate video ideas for you. My ideas are Escape Room Backrooms Edition, Poppy Playtime Chapter 4 Easter Eggs, My Top 5 Scariest Video Game Moments, The Real Life Story Behind Endo Parasitic 2, and it's top recommended, A Day in the Life of a Fire Evacuee.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
You know, I wasn't doing that with a whole bunch of those, but I was trying to gently just like make them rub. And then I bought some microfibers and I put them all there. And every single one of those was covered in green, like just coated in this weird stuff. Like just this sticky, gluey mess. But after a few rounds of like procedurally going to different bins, I've managed to clean them.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I think the video before it must have been Gangnam Style. That was number one for a bit.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
So yeah, Conglum Style came out in 2012. So it was after that, I think, or maybe 2012. So I'm going to say 2018. That's my guess.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
This feels like a post Y2K kind of toy. But my question is, is it a post 9-11 toy? That really is the discerning. That really narrows it in there.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I'm not sure if it was like worth the effort and time it took to do, but I felt like I dug this hole for myself. So I have to climb out of it myself. And you know what? It basically helped.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I'm going to guess that this is in fact a post 9-11 toy, but not that far because I think it's a pre mission accomplished banner toy. I'm guessing this is the 2003 holiday season toy of our life. All right.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
So if they were still fighting in 1918, then it must have been 1919.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Oh, my God. Well, this would have been a year when the technology was probably still experimental, so it probably wasn't widespread. I'm going to guess they don't call it the roaring 20s for nothing. Those yappers were yapping hard 1920 right after the treaty.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
It's very close. It was the Roaring Twenties and then they lost their voice and they were just down to talking. Then they just played music in the 30s again.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Mark, it's a steal. I don't think it was a 70s movie because that's dumb and wrong. This is clearly an 80s movie, judging by the I've never seen it and I've never seen it and I've never seen it.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Don't know what you're talking about. But anyway, much like many things, I don't know what I'm talking about. 80s.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I got to put an individual condom on each one of them, then lube it up, and then put it in the gun, and then fire them.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
So, I don't know how old he is, who Mark Zuckerberg is. The Zuck? He's older than us, but not much older. Don't worry like that, man. Not much older, so he was probably in a dorm yorking it around 20-ought-two.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Nathaniel Briggs received the first patent for his invention. Oh, no, not automated washing machine. I don't see any patent.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
1907, the Hurley Electric Laundry Equipment Company launched Thor, the first electric washing machine to go on the market using the Alva J. Fisher prototype patented in 1910. The drum was powered by an electric motor on early motors. This engine was not watertight and the short circuits occurred frequently. The machine was therefore potentially dangerous and it did not wring out the linen.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
So I think 1937 is the first fully automatic washing machine with rinse spin cycle. So it both spun it out. But 1907 is when the first automated washing machine that you just throw clothes in and it goes with electricity and then short circuits and explodes.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I don't think we get selective enforcement of the rules because it could go badly for him.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
But if you get three face down in a row, tails in a row, then you're... Yeah.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
We can do it with a digital one. We should all buy a coin. And because there's three of us, we all flip at the same time.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Yeah, you better watch that. At this exponential growth, like if I get nine shots off in a row next time, I'll get 18 the next one, whatever the next 36.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Or shoot a lot of rounds or something. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I have 10,000 of them.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Thank you all so much for enjoying this episode. Thank you to my competitors. Chance was really on my side. I should have known that the odds were in my favor when that dice roll came up with the same number I picked. It was my time. I'm just glad that all the stars aligned and the planets shone down on me. I'd like to thank Venus. I'd like to thank Saturn.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I'd like to thank Pluto, which is a planet Neil deGrasse Tyson can suck a dick.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Yeah, my dad, I think I mentioned he built muzzleloaders. So as a kid, I fired a lot of those specifically. So, you know, yeah, all those instincts don't translate to much else. I don't even think there were sights on them because they're very long. They're incredibly long. At least maybe it was kid brain, but I think they're really long.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
And top, there's not even a sight because it's kind of one of those things you just like hope you're in the vague direction of your target. And then boom! And it goes...
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Way up there. That's kind of what a crossbow is. You know, it just shoots shorter knives.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I would not want to be hit with a butter knife shot from a crossbow, I can tell you that. I wouldn't either.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
It's pitiful. No, I'm just kidding. No, they have a great set up. That's insane. No, that's pretty much what it is. And I've thought about doing exactly what they did, which is buy an old, like, 60-bay server, or maybe it was a new one. I can't remember what they did, and then just fill it with hard drives. That's how you get, like, so much storage.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
I didn't go that route because I was like, I don't want to build a whole thing for that, and then now I have a whole storage server anyway, so I should have done that.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
Yeah, exactly. And balls. Yeah, but no, that was a sad game. I mean, not sad. It was like, boo-hoo, they lost. It was just like, oof, hard to watch. It wasn't a good game.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
That's funny. I actually know what you're talking about. I can't believe it. I actually know.
Distractible
When Was That Again?
tell me your secrets mark my secrets oh no this is passed down generation to generation have you ever tried cocaine will it work
Distractible
When Was That Again?
If you take for three weeks straight, nothing but that, you will probably lose 30 pounds and your endurance will be crazy.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
That's never caused any problems before. You know, it's just a good present time. Since everyone agrees that that's just true, I made up a game where you guys are going to be competing to get me the best presents. But there's some rules and some structure because you know how I always have to make it overly complicated so that it's less fun. There are rounds. Each round has a theme and a budget.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
The themes, I think, are interesting. We'll see if that holds true. The budget increases quite dramatically. The final budget is a million dollars. Anything, I mean, not anything. There are certainly things that cost more than a million dollars, but basically anything goes. But that isn't until the last round. We're starting with literally anything. You could Google, you can imagine things.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
As long as you can argue to me that the price is accurate, I will allow whatever you want. Things that don't exist, whatever. But your budget for this first round is $10.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Yeah, this is for me. So you can pander. You can play to the things that you know about me. You can use any piece of information. It could even cheat. Who knows? You guys know I like to make up rules and then ignore them completely.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
But just given how awesome of a friend I am and how well you, my two best friends in the world, know me, I want you to pick me any present in the world as long as it costs $10 or less.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
i've got you well mark thinks no i already got i already got it all right i'll let you sort out who's about to start talking i have to fill out a security questionnaire hold on all right wade wins wade wins i'm gonna give you a ten dollar investment into a pump and dump crypto scheme that's going to be worth
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
so much more money in like two days is this ten dollars of gifted tokens that i got from the person who's doing the scheme or yeah this is like early buyers you're like on the end okay so i'm in i'm in the rug pool i'm pre-pull i'm gonna be in the rug pool pool pool of pull pull pull i like that that's good that's thoughtful about me it's not thoughtful about anyone else This isn't about them.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I appreciate that. How big is this pool? Is this like a Hawk Dua pool? Like a meme coin sort of pool? Or is this bigger than that? Smaller than that? How many? Oh, this is like theme park pool.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
We got a real chimney thing going on right now. Sorry, guys. Anyway, small talk. We usually start with small talk. How's everybody doing? Guns!
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
It's a family game. Every night, one person in the house is not allowed to plug their phone into the wall. They get to use old T-MU battery pack. And if they survive the night, maybe the next day they'll have better luck with the wall plug. Who knows? I like that both of your suggestions could hurt people. Mark's is a little bit more mortal danger.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Wade's is a little bit more just financial, I guess, really. Maybe emotional damage.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Marx could kill one person. Wade's is going to make thousands of idiots sad and poor. Sit on this rug, Bob.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Would never have thought of crypto rug pull. What a creative idea. Hey, $10 gets you five early tokens or whatever. If you want a creative gift for your loved ones, think about a crypto rug pull. Well, the sex one might be tough. Honestly, I think this might be the toughest category. The budget is $50 and I would like you to get me a gift in the category of books.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
10 crypto rug no that's not how math works five crypto rug pulls if you will books or book related book adjacent yeah i don't accept book adjacent there are things that would fall into that category all right i got i got something i'm still looking
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I don't want to give any hints either, but I do just want to throw it out there that if you don't know, I'm not a big book reader, not a not not a huge book fan. So this one might be tough. But wait, you have something. What do you have?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Yeah, it's like a decoration. If you have the right books, it sends the right message to the people in your house.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
It allows me to give off the appearance of a much more learned person without having to actually worry about doing any of the learning myself.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
There's a shelf on the bottom. I think that those are really funny because it's essentially a shelf where for the top two thirds of it, there's no flat surface, right? Everything is like angled. So it's a shelf that's only a shelf if you have shit that can be piled on itself. If you need like a regular, like if you have a plant that you want to put on a shelf, this is not the shelf for you.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I mean, I do think it would be cool if a company made like triangular plant vessels. So you could put like a plant in the bottom of one of the V. Oh, that'd be, that's unrelated. Just, just thinking.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I like that. I assume within our lifetime, before I die, we'll invent a way to preserve human consciousness basically into infinity. So the concept of getting a gift that I would own forever, and since I'll live forever, that really, that's something. That's interesting. Perpetuity. Perpetuity is a hell of a thing. Throughout the universe. You know what they say about perpetuity.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
You want to make sure you're in that. Yep. That's a little lawyer joke right there. The lawyers in the audience will get that.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Am I going to have to? No, no, no, no, no. You're gone. Which one did you like better? Which gift? Look, the bookshelf is way more tangible, but own a thing forever. I just can't let that go. That's just such an opportunity. Yeah. I'm going to have to go with movie rights in perpetuity.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
i don't know how to spell perpetuity that's tricky mark you give me such a hard word to spell i thought you went to law school minus 10 points i went to law school but i usually type things you know lawyers use a spell check on computers i never had to learn how to get one of those spell checking pens dude if that existed uh that that will never exist actually sorry that i lost me at the first sentence there that that won't exist imagine though if you invented that the
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Tell me that you just for the first time in life discovered the Lindor peppermint truffles. Probably, yes.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
be a hell of a thing it learns your writing process and then you're like write this it's just like a little unicycle pen it's like a two-dimensional printing device i don't know i don't think anyone invited that invented that before all right round three the category is clothing the budget is a thousand dollars Continue. We're scaling up here. We're going to climb up all the way.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I mean, you know, socks is fine, and I'm not going to say that that couldn't win, but there's a lot of clothing options in the world that you could get for $1,000. Maybe not like Supreme Drop stuff, but that's...
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
If you're going to tell me I'm worth it, then I definitely fix it. You're worth it.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
And my Google fingers are that fast. Oh, found them. I've never owned a pair of underwear that was expensive. It's an interesting concept. Is the thread like gold metal that's been just pulled into a thread? Or is it like thread that's gold?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Looks like a cow too. Is it on the inside of the band or is it on like the... It's on the leg. Oh, okay. It wasn't there. Well, I was just joking. No, I'm not. I'm not dinging you. I'm not saying that I'm dinging you.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I just I am sensitive about you remember how I was a pig in that game that we played and I felt like the game was judging me because I didn't realize that I picked which character I was. Oh, Liar's Bar. That's the one. I wasn't going to name drop. I got a lot more characters now. I heard that. I heard one of them's real hot and still an animal. So everyone's confused. There's a pair of them.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I think Wade's just stalling because he's never going to compete with the world's most expensive pair of underwear. I've got something here. Okay.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I don't know. May you wait that you did the right one. Thank you. How, what's the percentages on that? 50% sock, 50% sneaker.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
You know how foot injuries make me clench. My whole body is fully cringing right now. I don't like that.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I will say Balenciaga is one of those brands that I now know is a real thing. But for a long time, I thought it was fake because it's such a goofy sounding brand name and all the stuff that I ever heard about Balenciaga making. I was always like, that sounds kind of like a meme. I can't tell if this is like from a TV show I'm just unaware of, but that's a snazzy brand.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Wow. Right in there. Mark's is pretty substantially over budget. Almost 50% over budget. Well, not quite. $40 is way different than 50%. Given that that's how highly he thinks of me, that I'm worth that much, I'd like to pick that, but I'm going to have to go with weights. Wow. Mark, your gift was very flattering and I would honestly rather have it. But we did stick to the budget.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Round four, your theme is home decor, which could be interpreted very broadly. And your budget is $20,000. There's a lot of home decor you can get for $20,000.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
That's an interesting choice. That's very compelling. I like that. Now I'm going to look up Zoom, make sure I'm right. Let's
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
i'm sure you're right i would in fact check me on this it's 110 inches it's even bigger look i gotta say when we moved into this house the the people we bought it from left their tvs and so we sort of just inherited because they the tvs were like wall mounted and stuff and they're just like yeah you can we'll just leave them the one in the in the family room is an 80 inch TV.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
It's an 80 inch 4k OLED. I've never owned a TV as big as that one is. And when I look at it, I'm literally like, Oh my God, this is fucking huge. This is the biggest team to think that the one you're talking about is 30 whole inches bigger than the one that I look at. And I'm like, this is comically large. It's going to be a burden. I apologize in advance.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I look the entire basement will become a shrine to the 110 inch OLED TV. I don't even care. That's fine with me. What a centerpiece, you know, because I thought about getting it.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I'm seeing Waterford Crystal Gingerbread House for $156. Wait a minute. Are you? Are you? Wait a second.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Is it from Neiman Marcus? Is that the one? this is homebello.com because neiman marcus has it for 16 grand 20 off right now ah this is full price baby oh there's a there's a picture of a man carrying it under his arm so it is in fact not that big this is why i went with zoltar because the gingerbread house was a bit ambiguous why is that 20 000 dollars
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I feel like I always saw commercials about acid reflux medicines and stuff where they're like, oh, don't eat pizza. Oh, don't eat spaghetti and meatballs. I'm like, what kind of pizza are you guys eating? I'm just lucky, I guess. I got my own special kind of health problems.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I just love the idea of like, oh, yeah, we got a Zoltar cab over in the corner. It's just sitting there, but he's just like...
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
like does he always breathe like that yeah that's a that's a modern feature they added that in so it's like he's all he's always alive you know he's just waiting to talk to us but he he won't talk until you push the button but well shit if mark found that i'll also throw in shako the evil clown electric chair
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
i asked oh i picked marks man shako you had me with zoltar and you lost me with shako the scary clown you could have both i don't want one of those i don't want both i don't want one at all what about what about chair A sold-out machine and a metal folding chair, all for under $20,000. Oh, that's interesting. Good round. Interesting choices. This should be wheelhouse.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I don't think either of you is lacking any knowledge about this, and I feel like we've talked a lot about this, so you know what I'm into when it comes to this. As long as you listen to me when I talk, when we do this, you'll have just a great idea of where to head on this one. The budget is $50,000. The category is tech gadgets.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I already know what you're going to... Wade, you know just as much about technology as us two. I know you're on a level footing here. This could not possibly be construed as unfair to you. Mark, go ahead.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
That's a hell of a thing. That's a piece of technology right there.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I'm probably going to lose this one. Wade, what do you got? You look done. What do you got?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Do I get to pick the companies or is it just all companies? Because there are some that I definitely don't need gift cards to.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Wait, you literally, do you take Tums or something? Or you literally don't do a thing about it? You just get acid and you're like, oh man, I wish you could do something about this.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
You know what, Mark? You said yours was too practical. You thought you were in trouble. I immediately agreed with you because yours is very practical. But I have to say, I feel a little bit judged by Wade that he thinks I spend $50,000 a month on phone cases. Not anymore.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Okay, Meredith, I am going to have to go with the form labs printer. Can I use it? Yeah, you can borrow. I'll put whatever you want, man. No, it comes with the service contract. I assume that means it comes with like a supply of powder and stuff. So yeah, I'll run prints for you.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
No, you get some really nasty fumes from that. I mean, you get fumes from all 3D printing and sintering, but the resin stuff can be really gross. I do know that.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
The fact that it's all self-contained and that it's literally like you don't have to because with the powder ones, the sifting and the resetting it every time is an important thing you have to be very meticulous with. But that is super convenient. It's a little expensive for hobbyists, but it is.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Well, money was an object, but the object was big enough for a form labs, whatever model you said. Or phone cases. I gotta be honest, even if I bought the most outlandish phone cases that I've ever looked at, I don't know if I could spend $50,000 on phone cases. It would be fun to try because I could do everything.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I've bought a lot of phone cases and I don't think I've even approached five figures even remotely. I probably in my lifetime have already spent like over a thousand on phone cases.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
You know, you could very easily. I mean, maybe the phone case market's about to blow up. Maybe there's about to be a bunch of stuff. Maybe I'm missing out, but I'm gonna go with the formless printer on that. And you missed out on Zoltar and this. This one, one of you knows a lot about this, and one of you hosts a podcast about this topic. So you should be on pretty equal footing here.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
yep so i'm looking at different gear uh game worn gear cards memorabilia helmets shoes signed ready to go to be displayed in your house to show that you are the fan of fans how many pieces is a hundred thousand dollars is this like a jersey and a rookie card or is this like i could fill a whole hallway with all kinds of stuff sort of price range i have no concept of how much that sort of stuff costs
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Oh, it's a, yeah, it's like a used. It's like a used athletic store. They have like lots of golf clubs, lots of baseball mitts and bats and softball stuff. Lots of like weightlifting stuff. It's kind of like if you took a full size like Dick's Sporting Goods and compressed it down to the size of like a dollar general, but didn't get rid of any of the stuff that's in there.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
stack things on each other it's like it's like a hoarder operates the store at most of these places but then like most of the stuff in there is used you can bring like you can bring your stuff in and sell it to them and then they'll resell it which is good i bought a lot of stuff from play again when i was a kid all my like soccer cleats football cleats all my gear that would have been kind of stupidly expensive for me to buy and use for three years as a kid who was playing all these sports i played oh played again was a great place
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
An actual just whole store? He's getting me a play it again sports. Literally, those places are like rats nests of sporting goods. It's I like it. Dumbbells on shelves leaning over you. It's I was at one recently because I was trying to get some golf clubs on the cheap because I'm getting I've been getting into golf, but it's golf clubs are fucking expensive.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
And I was like there and I got, I got the, you know, get that rumble and you're like, Oh, need a potty immediately. And I just looked around and I was like, Oh, I really need, I'll, I'll see if they have one. And I went and talked to the guy at the front. I was like, you have a bathroom. I didn't say, Oh yeah, at the back there, just go around, climb over the bucket of softballs.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
And I literally had to like climb over some stuff, go into the back hallway, move some skis that were leaned up against the door to get into the bathroom and And I think in the bathroom, there were like some buckets of baseballs or something like stacked up in there because it was like every corner of space.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
No, I love it. I love playing it is a very like childhood nostalgia thing for me. But the the absolute clusterfuck is hard to even appreciate until you're actually inside one, because really just some of them do feel like dangerous. Like, I'm sure they're not. Oh, man, that's such a good one, Mark. What was your way? I don't even remember. Yeah, man, the signed memorabilia trophies.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Oh, right, right, playing cards and stuff. Yeah, that's whatever.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I really like Mark's, and that's very nostalgic, but I think including all the rest of the price for what you'd have to do to actually get a store operational, I think you're probably looking at more like $250,000 to $350,000 in total, which is, I am into that.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
and that's interesting that the franchise fee is so affordable because when this podcast ends i'm gonna need job or something and i'm right now i'm thinking about uh fry cook maybe play it again sports guy but i think i'm gonna have to look at the sports collection i think that's interesting i think wait i've won again i mean again it's a little it's a little braggy but
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Next category. This one is a narrow distinction with a budget of two hundred fifty thousand dollars. I want adventure gear. This could be a vehicle. There are plenty of like overlanding, you know, custom truck type things or or this could be an experience. How much does it cost? Can you buy a mountain?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I definitely found the exact tour bus that we went on tour on for $249,000. I sure did. I found it.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I'm going to be honest. I happen to have a little bit of personal knowledge about this. And even if you maybe didn't find exactly what you were looking for, even though you totally did, this could be accomplished in budget. I actually happened to watch a couple of YouTube channels where they talk about this sort of thing. It would not be like a brand new one, even remotely.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
But you could absolutely the buses that we rode out on the tours were also not brand new, as I recall them. So it would be an accurate experience.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
We got some flippers in here. I'll just wear those on every adventure. Then I'll be prepared.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
No, helicopters are very expensive. Even a used crappy helicopter is crazy expensive.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
interesting thing i know a surprising amount about as well helicopters very expensive i want to pick weights no karen i don't want to talk to you right now okay i'm not going to pick weights no no not you oh okay that wasn't directed i thought you were talking to me no no no the boat website karen was trying really hard to sell me the boat i want to pick weights the one and only problem that i see with it that i'm going to say is is probably just disqualifying
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
is I don't live close enough to the ocean to really enjoy a boat. I always think it's weird when people who live around the area that I live in in Ohio are pulling a boat on a trailer because I'm like, where the fuck is there even around here? I don't want to go boat in the Ohio River. Lake Cumberland's only three hours.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Look, I love your idea, but I live on land. And you know what goes on land? When you go on vacation, you go to your boat. But then you always have to go to the same vacation place. You don't have to. But then I'm not using the boat if I don't go to the boat.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I can wear the hazmat suit. That's your own thing. You're right. Your other gift is also a bad idea. Thank you. What? I'm giving you adventure. Sounds like you're giving me a pile of crap. I got to find storage places for tour bus wins. You got to pander more. Mark really pandered.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Yeah, but didn't it still work? I was just mad because you were winning because you pandered better than I did. I'll do anything to win. I don't I have no no ethics whatsoever. I don't have an ethical bone in my body when it comes to this podcast specifically. Otherwise, outside of this, I'm a very ethical, highly moral person. A forty four thousand dollar backpack.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I don't know how it could possibly cost that much. Is it made of the bones of children? Why is it forty four thousand dollars? It's a backpack you put on your back, right? Like straps and pockets and things.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Oh, well, and your whole thing's really falling apart here. I was going to get it for you anyway. Yeah, well, if you were going to make that happen, I would appreciate that. But let's move on to the final category here. For a budget of $1 million, get me a luxury item. I have it.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Two of them. Just to be clear, I'm going to get 210 inch TVs. you're gonna get that two crypto scams yep oh yeah two form labs fuse one printers uh-huh two pairs of balenciaga sock sneaks uh-huh yep two hallways full of sports memorabilia two tour buses
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
interesting a bold move i see that i see where you're coming from wade you ready you're getting a new hot tub full of money you're gonna scrooge me duck this shit because what's more luxurious than actually having a pool of money wait what kind of money is it full of is this like coins this is like bills no no no whatever whatever style of bill makes it look the fullest okay so like singles
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Just like you will just get one extra because I forgot you would get. Three total of everything you had before because it's an additional one million on top of everything else.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
You don't even know which tour bus you're taking on your adventures. You had to pick your tour bus.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Or one really good tour bus. That's not what he offered you, man. I hate to tell you. Wait, so are you just actually conceding that point? No, no. I'm offering you a pool of money.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I did not concede everything. I know. It kind of sounded like he was just conceding everything, but... That's an argument of interpretation. As much as I think that Mark's answer is the one I would like to pick and the funniest... Wade's is a little bit better at the actual category itself.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Plus, because hot tubs are not a very expensive thing in the scheme of a million dollars, I could basically do Wade's thing. And then when I get sick of it, then do Mark's thing, because I could I would just have like I would have a million dollars minus like thirty thousand dollars for the hot tub. And that would be a fancy ass hot tub. Like you can get a hot tub for like six grand.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I could probably fill the hot tub and still have like 700 grand to spare because I don't even know how much money it takes to fill a hot tub, but it probably can't be a million dollars in singles. A couple hundred thousand bills of paper probably fill a hot tub up pretty good. Yeah, probably. I pick weights. I could have everything.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Mark wanted to sell me the moon, but Wade wanted to sell me everything. Cash money, man.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
No, I made my choice. All right. I'm going to read the points now. In no particular order. Wade, you got a point for sad and minus one point for breaking sad. You got a point for be a man. Don't take meds. Point for the stairs. Point for eat the pets. Minus one point for breaking shotgun. Oh, that's right. Breaking shotgun. Got it. Yeah, that's a minus point. You got points for Crypto Rug Pull.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
High five! Balenciaga, Sock Sneak, Vermeow. Vermeow? I forget why you said that. Sports Memorabilia. I won again! And Hot Tub of Money. Mark, you earned points for Your Voice, Guns, Benjamin Buttoning, Good and Handsome, Gun Hyperfixation Incoming,
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
poo poo poo poo poo movie in perpetuity oh yeah you won the movie in perpetuity that's right that's right that was another good one big old tv form labs printer and tour buses with the s in quotation marks because that's only in theory wade you earned 11 points mark you earned 10 points oh
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Wade, you then proceeded to unearn two points, meaning that the final score is 10 for Mark and nine for Wade. Oh! Sorry, that 11 did not include your two minus points.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
And that means Mark is the greatest gifter of all. Now I'm breaking down bad. You can't lose any more than you're already losing, but you could certainly try. Winner's speech, Mark?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Did you get the breathing one? I just want to come over and listen to him breathe for a while, I think.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Got a skibbity toilet for fixing plumbing problems. You know what, Wade? If we're honest, your ideas were really good today. But also, two of your ideas were so bad that they cost you the win.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
You don't look like you regret it. And that's really what's important.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
That's the end of the episode. Congratulations, Mark. You'll be hosting the next one. Follow us on socials at our names. Oh, yeah. Merch distractible store dot com. That's the place where the thing type that in. And that's it. Until then, like we say at the end, podcast out.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Hello and welcome back to another episode of your favorite show in the entire universe, including all television movies and other forms of media. It's even your favorite video game. Think about it like an interactive point and click adventure that you don't interact with ever. This is Distractible. I am your host for today, Bob, joined as usual by my competitors for today, Wade and Mark.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
It is definitely a fun activity. I've done a little bit of indoor range and I've done trap shooting once. Trap shooting was my favorite. Just go walk around. It's like golfing. You walk around and you go thing the thing and throw the disc in the air. And I thought it would be insanely hard shooting a disc out of the air like that. It's actually more intuitive than you might guess.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Like I got better really quickly and I missed a lot of shots still, but like you can have a really satisfying time and like hit some really fun shots, even if you've never done it before. Just like point and shoot kind of thing. Like you can learn.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
That's actually your next hyper fixation. Mark is on the podcast. Like, okay, there's this really rare way. You can't do that. No, you guys can't do that. Don't mail me guns. Wait a minute. That's a felony.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
i'm looking for the 2024 highlander python i don't know good names i'm really more of a highlander cobra ultimate kind of guy but you know pythons for some people it's nerf or nothing
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Mark in his garage filled with servers and Glaubersalts hunched over a 3D printer just like, this is the one. The FBI walks in and Mark turns around with this weird prototype like, what?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
No, it's not real. Look how real it is though. Look how real it looks.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
It's just like, there's a, I think that's wild. I know nothing about the industry, but I've always thought, I mean, it's tragic when that has happened. I thought it was completely insane that if you're making a movie or a TV show, a fake thing that no one is like, Oh, that movie didn't have real guns in it. Unwatchable. Like why would you have fucking real guns around for any reason? Like,
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
whoever's in charge of safety and whatever things can go wrong aside that just doesn't seem worth it like i get that it's you want to be authentic and whatever there's just no way that it's worth the risk of having an actual gun for if someone happened to bring in their own bullet for whatever their reasons might be or like all kinds of crazy shit can and has happened it's just so dangerous
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Even firing blanks is incredibly dangerous because they're not. It's not like a puff of air. It's like a thing that can still hurt and kill and do all kinds of damage to people and things. It's crazy. I'm all for authenticity and movie and acting and stuff. But that one is like the risk to reward on that is too steep. Seems like it shouldn't even be close. But people still do it.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
mark gets a voice point thank you thank you very much starting off strong like i usually do this is a show where i'm the host and i give out points and then someone wins and then they're the host on the next one and nobody cares i haven't hosted in a minute you guys were sort of passing it back and forth there it feels good to be back on the reins you know it's good to be the in the sleigh of power driving you my faithful reindeer to the holiday of my delight uh-huh go on i love where this is going
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Yeah, I think probably they would just write down on their resume, has been through 10 courses. Ah, but they got stares every time. Yeah, you don't put that part. You leave out that you kept drawing stairs. Does this scene involve any stairs falling? No, no, this is sort of taking over this complex. You're entering a warehouse. Are you familiar? Like, ah. Are you sure there can't be stairs?
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I gave you a point for being sad, and something about acid reflux.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
I'm going to let that one slide because I'd like this to stay competitive. I'm going to try and slide some extra points your way, Wade. You're going to have to really cool it down with those with those word jokes, though. I'm breaking glass. Sorry, I didn't hear that. And I'm not going to listen to you for a minute. I have a game. I like making games and I have games when I host episodes.
Distractible
Merry Christmas, Bob!
And today's game spawned from one idea. And I think everyone can agree with this. I am awesome. As an awesome person, I deserve presents. It's the time of year when people might give presents to other people, perhaps for Christmas or Hanukkah or other whatever holidays. It's that time of year. Maybe James's birthday was this past week. And, you know, Mandy's birthday is on Christmas Eve.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright, let's just feel it out. Let's see what happens. Do you have a will to determine which one of us has which role? Yeah, I'm gonna flip a coin. Heads, Bob, Tails, Wade. Four. heads on wade tails your bob we'll go we'll go who's the robber because they're gonna go first no matter what all right all right heads bobs robber tails wade Dale, Wade, you are trying to break someone out of prison.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I can't stop feeling wet. All of my head just feels wet. It won't stop, you know?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
So, to catch you up, Wade, you have the world's shortest breath, a Bluetooth jammer, fake security badges, and a robbery in progress app. That's not a prison break in progress app. That's a robbery in progress app. Okay. Und ich bin im Gefängnis, um rauszukommen, oder breche ich in den Gefängnis, um jemanden rauszuholen? Das ist interessant. Was würdest du lieber tun?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Würdest du lieber rausbrechen? Weil das könnte interessanter sein. Du willst rausbrechen. Er versucht, dich zu halten. Lass uns das machen. Das ist eigentlich besser, als jemanden rauszubrechen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Du hast viel Sachen für einen Gefängnis. Ich habe sicher. Und diese sind die einzigen Items, die ich habe. Ich kann nicht nur... Ich meine, besonders wenn du ein Gefängnis bist. Du hast nichts. Aber ich würde sagen, du kannst die Umgebung zu deinem Vorteil verwenden, aber es ist bare bones. Das ist Alcatraz-Level-Prison. Lass uns nur sagen, es ist Alcatraz. Hardest Prison to break out of.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
It's been done before, but it's also in the middle of the ocean and you have the world's shortest breath.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Cough. Because I can't hold my breath long enough to take a deep breath. I slide my toilet over. I go to move into the hole. Leaving behind my robbery in progress notification app. It's just like a little pager and like give a little kiss. Not today, but next time. Slide the toilet back. Make sure I've got my security badges. I go out. I see the security guard. I need to cut him off.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
You did one thing. I slide the toilet and move in. Slide the toilet back. So you're in the wall, right? I'm in the wall. Alright, I guess what I should do is roll to see if you got detected. Right? That makes sense here. The coughing of my breath covered up the noise. There is a rough probability that you're going to break a water line and that's not going to be good for you.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Dry as can be. What does the philosopher say? The unwet life is not worth living. I'm pretty sure.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
It wasn't a 20. I rolled a 20 as in like a 20 Pokemon. I went, 20, go! I'm having flashbacks. Oh, it's good for me. Okay, I was good for me. Alright, don't have to hold my breath. My toilet's moved. I'm in the walls.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
You could be the warden. I'll let you be the warden if you wanted to be. Oh, I want to be the warden. Oh, can I be the prisoner? Oh yeah, you're the prisoner.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Yes! Wait, I think that's worse for me. Wouldn't I want to be the least? Yeah, you were there the longest, which means you have not been successful in any of this. Or have you had the longest time to plan?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Nat 20 fucking ears like a fox not only do you know he's out of the cell instantly you're like he's in the
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
You have an ankle leg. Okay, I forgot. He's in the wall. Can we just point out, Mark rolling dice would be a terror in an actual D&D campaign with all the 20s and 19s. I don't know what's going on in 1920. Alright, well that couldn't have gone better. Wade, you got a disadvantage point now because you are fucking detected. Alright, so all your rolls are going to get a minus one from here on out.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Nein, ich habe es nicht gehört. Okay, nicht von meiner Wahl. Ich würde es gerne. Ich habe es nie gehört von meinem Freund, der versucht hat, die Liga zusammenzubringen. Also denke ich an einen YMCA oder so etwas, damit ich mit echten Leuten spielen kann. Wie ein Pick-up-Spiel? Ja, so etwas. Aber die Liga kam nie zur Furcht.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Excellent. Your move. I planned this. I know where the hole in the wall comes out. It comes out on this level security and there'll be someone. There's an alarm going off, I'm imagining. Er hat nicht einen Alarm getroffen, er hat nur geschreit. Ich habe das wahrscheinlich gehört, weil ich direkt neben mir bin. Ich weiß, wo die Sicherheitskameras auf diesem Niveau sind.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Und vielleicht ist da eine Kamera, die es sieht. Aber ich werde in der realen Zeit verbinden. Also klicke ich aus dem Loch. Und ich klubbe mit meinen Händen, weil ich keinen Klub habe. The security guard in the back of the head to knock him out.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
So everyone at home is listening, he's got his hands together, you know, fingers interlocked, and he went above his head and went, I'm gonna club him straight down with his hands. You got minus one on your, I guess it's all just gonna be 50-50, so here we go. Alright, here we go. You got 19 again. What the hell? I don't know what the fuck.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Good thing I've been practicing my can't hold my breath clubbing two hand technique. I don't know what's going on. But yeah, total 18, you clubbed him. He's out, he's done. Now my plan can truly go to fruition.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Weißt du, was ich wundere, ist, ob das Voice-Activated-Mime deine Stimme registriert hat.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Let me just give a quick roll. Let's see, let's see. Nat 20, what the fuck? Mark, hang on. This dice only rolls two numbers. Okay. Oh nein, das ist der Google Roll D20, direkt auf der Frontseite. Es ist 19, 20, 19, 20. Das zeigt keine Geschichte, also werde ich einen holen, der tatsächlich eine Geschichte zeigt. Das zeigt einfach, dass Bob und ich Experten in unserem Bereich sind.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Von dem, was ich gehört habe, sollte es im März beginnen, aber wir sind jetzt ein bisschen über dem Punkt. Ja, es ist nicht mehr im März. Ich weiß nicht, ob es eine weitere Sommer-Liga geben wird oder was. Ich werde es meiner Freundin sehen. Es ist auch möglich, dass er mich nicht speziell darüber geschrieben hat, dass er nicht in zwölf Jahren gespielt hat.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Okay, anyway, der Mime, perfekt. Es ist tatsächlich direkt zu deiner Stimme getunet. Es ist ein Nanotech-Mimesuit. Ich habe die Zeit genommen, es aufzunehmen und es zu meiner spezifischen Stimme zu trainieren, damit es... Wir geben dir plus eins auf deine Rollen für jetzt, weil du den Mega-Mime hast. Ich weiß nicht, Mann.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Okay, lass mich, äh, du gehst in die Wälder, wie auch, äh, habe ich das korrekt gehört?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oof. Got a six. Uh-oh. With this plus one, you got a seven. He tripped on his tongue on the way in the wall. Didn't quite get there. Wade, your turn. Alright, so I get two rolls worth of tasks, right? No. Wie ist dieses Gefängnis mit Bluetooth erlaubt? Sie dachten, dass es eine sehr advanced Technologie war, vor 15 Jahren, als sie es installiert haben.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Also müssen alle Kameras zu diesen Bildschirmen via Bluetooth gehen. Also wenn ich den Jammer hier einstecke, dann werden die Kameras keine Füße geben. Ist das nicht offensichtlich? Er könnte dumm sein, aber ich werde ihn rollen. Er hat eine minus 1, vielleicht komplett falsch verstehen, wie das alles funktioniert. Schauen wir mal, wie es für ihn funktioniert. Ich bin hier schon lange, Mann.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
war ein 5? Nein, 10. Nein, du verpasst dein Ding und du verpasst dein Zeit, Bluetooth-Jammung, nichts. Einige Guards, AirPods stoppen zu arbeiten. Er ist so, hey, warte einen Moment. Exzellent, das wollte ich. Ich wollte, dass sie mich hören können, als ich mich umdrehe. Ja, ich hatte Geräuschverlust und alles. Und jetzt ist ein Wirt auf der Suche für dich.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Na gut, dann habe ich mein Sicherheits-Outfit angezogen, da mein Item gefehlt hat. Ich glaube, ich muss für dein Sicherheits-Outfit rollen. Bist du der richtige Größe?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I'll let you put it on either way, but it's gonna look real funny if it's not your size. Oh, it fits like a glove. Not quite, it's a little tight in the groin, but as everything is. I'll give you a plus one again. Alright, Bob.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Denn es scheint, dass einige der Gegner in dieser Liga ehemalige College-Basketballspieler sind. Nicht alle in Division 1. Aber ich könnte nicht gegen andere Zentren gespielt haben, die auch im Zentrum spielen, bei 6'3 oder 6'4, wenn sie sieben Fuß alt sind. Du weißt es nie, bis du es versuchst. Das klingt wie dein Freund.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Okay, das klingt gut. Ich werde auch... Mein Bild ist, du kennst Mr. X von Resident Evil. In der großen Schuhe. Weißt du, in der Hatte. Das bist du als Mime gerade. Richtig. Und auch, ich werde sagen, seit du Nat 20 auf Mime gespielt hast, werde ich dir in den Mime-Werden von Macht ein wenig Weg geben. Du wirst ihn nicht mit einem Mime-Gun schießen können, aber, weißt du.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Also bist du immer noch plus eins. Roll. Man, you shouldn't have cursed all those 19s and 20s, man. You got a 2, plus 1, 3. That's not great. Whatever you were trying to accomplish didn't happen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
No, you didn't fall. It wasn't a 1. You got a 2, very close. You could have tripped on your tongue down the stairs. You land on a mime pillowcase. Yeah, you don't see nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing looked over you.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oh, wait till you see mine. Wait till you see mine. I'm thinking outside the box here. This prison guard, I just put on his outfit. We're a perfect fit, which means he's a perfect fit for my prison garb. So I dress him up in my prison garb. That's true.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Willst du einen Roll für das, Wade? Ich würde ihn später wieder in meine Zelle legen, wenn er sich befindet, dann werde ich ihn wieder in die Zelle legen. Ich denke, du kannst dir vorstellen, dass er sich befindet, weil du es natürlich wissen würdest. Also, ihn zurück zu legen, wäre die Aktion.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ob er sich durch die Wand befindet und zurück in deine Zelle, es gibt immer den Risiko, dass du ihn in die Zelle schieben würdest, du könntest einen Wasserpipel schieben und dann würdest du in Angst sein. Oh, I'm not trying to put him back in the hole. I'm the guard now. I'm opening the door, putting him back in there. He's been found. Alarms can go off. The mime can go back to his office.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
You're going shouting at the top of your lungs with an unconscious body over your head. I got him, boys! Yes. No one would ever expect me to draw attention to myself. It might be a good move. I'm gonna roll. It was a bad move. Your voice turns out not like that guard's at all. I got
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich denke, der Warden ist geklugelt. Wie schlecht war mein Roll? Es war ein Fünf. Du hast auf den Topf deiner Lungen geschaut. Was hast du gesagt? Ich habe ihn, Jungs. Das ist richtig. Und ich mache es. Alright, so, he only heard you. He heard you and knows that you're trying to trick him. He doesn't see you. He didn't see you in the last one. So he hasn't seen you, but he heard you.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And as a silent mime, he knows the world of sound. Not at all. I don't know. Whichever way you want to take that. As a silent mime, he knows noise.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Maybe he just accidentally lost my number looking at the competition and realizing that I barely knew what a basketball looked like after all this time. Describe a basketball for all of us at home. Uh, it's orange. Uh, kind of square. Has some like watermelon-y lines on it. And in the middle it's pink. And you can eat it. As far as I know, that's correct.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I don't know how to decide this one, because I was like, items are success no matter what, but are you trapped in there?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I hope it doesn't hit you like in the tongue. That'd be gross. I guess because it has to point inward and you want to go back inward and it's like a claymore level. I'll say that. You got a plus one on this. This will probably work. Yeah, you're fine. You're back in. Pepper spray is activated and you're standing at the front, the entrance, just like... But like a mime. Like a mime, yeah.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
For the listeners, I was looking around like a mime. Imagine a mime looking around, that's what I was doing. Oh yes, we should do a silent mime episode sometime for the listeners. Due to the shouting and the fact that he's now set up a trap and cut off one escape route, I'm adding a disadvantage point here, so you're back down to minus one. He's being smart about this.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I shouted, clearly they bought it. I opened the cell, I tossed the former prison guard in, and now it's time to just waltz out. A normal guard entrance exit. I pull out my fake security badges, prepare to flash them to the other guards, and I walk toward wherever I presume may be the guards coming out for the day.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I'm on my way! Okay, okay, got it. I assume as far as I know, my plan worked so seamlessly. I don't know I rolled a five. Alright, in this regard, the scenario is as follows. You are wearing a security guard outfit that's well fitting, a little tight in the groin, but well fitting. In front of you are a number of other security guards and the warden at the front of the gate.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And you can't see the pepper spray trap behind him, so you're just assuming he's standing in front. So your move is just to confidently be like, I'm a security guard, they all buy it, I'm going for it, right? My shift ended, I'm clocking out. Not my fault there's a prison break. The guy's back in the cell. The guy's back in the cell! I suggest you don't talk. I'm gonna throw that out to you.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
It's worked so far. I BELIEVE! Aber du benutzt deine Fake-Security-Badges. Du hast das. Das war einer der Dinge. Also gebe ich das als Plus 1. Das scheint ein wirklich riskantes Spiel zu sein. Ich würde mir vorstellen, dass ich einen Rollen habe, um von Bob und seinem Trap zu kommen. Ja, sagen wir mal, dass du zweimal rollen musst. Das macht Sinn. Also Nummer 1.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alle Guards, andere Guards, die geben keine Scheiße. Sie sind einfach wie, sie interessieren sich nicht. Aber der Warden... Ich interessiere mich. Er hat ein Mime-Outfit und eine große Zunge. Ich weiß, dass dieser Mann interessiert. Yeah, so you're at a minus one. Let's see if you, okay, let's see if you trick the warden. You got a fake security badge. That's also a plus one.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Did you describe a pumpkin or a watermelon? I can't. That is the question.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Warden doesn't know, but you don't know that there's a pepper spray trap right behind him. I do not know that. You do not know. So he's like, ah, have a good night. Your shift must be over. He can't hear my accent as I mime bye bye.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
When the warden's wearing his mime outfit, I don't say bye to him, I mime it.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I'll say, yeah, I'll say that was the only towards the warden. All right, minus one again. Come on, pepper spray. You got a nat 20. No! I swear to God. Aber minus 1, aber auch so, das war noch mal wild erfolgreich. Ich weiß nicht, wie du das gemacht hast. Ich gehe runter gegen den Ausflug. Ich denke, dass ich von Bob und dem Pfefferspray bin, würde wahrscheinlich meine Runde sein.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ja, ich meine... Ja, wahrscheinlich. Ja. Also, nicht nur hast du von ihm getroffen, der Pfefferspray ging nicht weg. Und auf alle Fälle, er könnte am Fronten der Tür sein. Ich weiß, wie ich den Pfefferspray überzeugen konnte, nicht weg zu gehen. Ich gebe es dem... Du kannst mich nicht sehen. As I walk by.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
The prison break was not the archetype of this whole thing, because the other one had like a very clear, like, if you get the thing, you also have to get out with the thing. But this one is just, you have to get out.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Er ist draußen. Bob, du weißt es nicht. Das Pfefferspray ging nicht weg. Aber das ist seltsam. Das ist ein bisschen seltsam. Ich gebe dir das viel. Es ist ein bisschen seltsam. Es ist auch noch gearmt und hinter dir. Also, fuck.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ja, ich sage, du, du addierst zwei und zwei zusammen. Hier sind deine Schwierigkeiten hier. Du hast ihn nicht bemerkt. Das ist minus eins. Der Pfefferspray ist noch aktiv hinter dir. Das ist noch ein minus eins. Er ist draußen. Das ist noch ein Minus 1. Ich gebe dir einen Minus 3 auf diesen. Mit deinem Plus 1 Mime bringt es dich zu Minus 2. Was machst du?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Wie viel muss ich wegwerfen? Ich denke, dass die Sonnenblasen dir mit dem Pfefferspray helfen können, weil deine Augen sicher sind.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright, so here's where we stand. I'll give you, you can pull the breaker because you're like, oh fuck, shit's about to go down. Putting on the sunglasses means not only can't you see more in the dark, but it was already dark, you can't see. The glowing around your peripheral kind of ruins your night vision.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I will give you, that does help counter the pepper spray. So, you're at a minus one, minus one, minus one. I'll give you, you're only, those are minus three plus one. I'll give you the sunglasses counteracted a little bit of that pepper spray. Oh yeah, my tongue! So yeah, you're outside dripping snot, drooling with your tongue. Tongue's spoiling up immediately, Wade.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
1-800-KAR, offensichtlich. Ich habe einen Tracker mit zwölf Karten für Fahrzeug. Er hat einen Domino-Tracker für sein Auto.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich denke, ich hätte die Erfolgsparametern ausgedrückt. Er ist vor der Tür, aber er ist noch auf Alcatraz, also muss er von der Insel weg. Ich würde sagen, sobald er von der Insel weg ist, ist er frei. Das bedeutet, in der Wasser?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Aber für deinen spezifischen Fall kannst du nicht schwimmen, weil du den world's shortest breath hast. So, I'm out the front door. Am I still in a locked, gated area? No, you're out. I would say there's another far gate towards the dock or whatever there is. You're in an open courtyard that's almost all the way to the shore. But it wouldn't matter if there are walls or not. It's all ocean.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
There's one dock at the end there that has boats where people come in and out of.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Und seltsam ist, dass er all die Kraft ausgedrückt hat, was bedeutet, dass es keine Lichter gibt, aber ich schätze auch, dass es keine Kraft am Dock gibt. Und es gibt kein Bluetooth. Wohin auch immer du gehst, kein Bluetooth. Exzellent. Ich starte meinen Weg nach unten. Ich möchte einen Perzeptionscheck machen für alles, was ein bisschen Verrücktheit hat. Ich werde dir das erlauben.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Lass uns sehen, wie perzeptiv ist dein Charakter? Du wusstest nicht, dass der Bluetooth funktioniert. Du hast nicht gemerkt, dass dein Schreien nicht hilfreich war. Ich glaube nicht, dass du sehr perzeptiv bist.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I'm going to specifically make this about your perception, because otherwise you're not at too much of a disadvantage. Well, it's not dark out here, so the power wouldn't affect me out here, right? I guess I didn't say what time of the day. I should add a wheel for the exact clock of what time of day it was. Roll for it! Alright, I'm going to roll a d24 to see what time of day this is.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Zero to six is what morning? Then we'll do... Es ist 5 Uhr. Es kommt nur ein bisschen Sonnenlicht. Nur ein bisschen. Das hilft meinen Augen nicht so viel. Ja, ich würde sagen, es gibt ein bisschen Licht. Es ist nicht zu brillant. Ich gebe dir ein Minus. Ich gebe dir ein Minus 2 für deine Geschichte. Ich hätte 3 gemacht, aber es ist ein bisschen brillanter da draußen. Du hast ein Minus 2. Bunk.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Poor warden, the world's dumbest criminal is getting... Gordon, du blickst, blickst, blickst, du hast noch die Sonnenblasen an, und du schaust nach ihm herum. Brauchst du einen Perzeptionscheck? Ich weiß nicht, ob das eine gute Idee ist. Was machst du? Sag mir, was du gemacht hast.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Drei. Ich bin auf drei. Aber sechs davon sind Produktionsteile. Also hältst du noch die Idee, dass dieses Auto passieren wird? Dieses deutsche Auto.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich würde sagen, weil du die Sonnenblätter anhatte, war das die einzige Sache, die dich von dem Pfefferspray verteidigt hat. Das sind deine Augen. Und es ist nur ein Stück Sonnenlicht. Es ist dunkel und du bist in der Hölle. Die Lichter sind aus. Ich würde sagen, so eine minus 1, weil er die Gläser anhatte. Ich denke, das ist fair. Aber das ist nur eine Perspektive, um zu sehen, ob er sie sieht.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Wenn er das nicht macht, dann bist du ziemlich Scott-frei mit deinem Bruch, glaube ich. I don't know if it counts as getting away if I go drown myself in a minute. We'll find out. He sees you. That's all I'll say. He won the perception check. He sees you. And he's like, that way. Which is probably obvious because the docks are that way. And you're like, he'd probably go that way anyway.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
So that's where he looked and that's where he saw you. He doesn't see what you're carrying. He doesn't see anything else. He's just like... Oh, I'm carrying a real heavy flotation device, which means it's real buoyant.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich schaue mir dieses Bild an und ich muss das Bild für die Zuschauer teilen. Oh, das ist ein verdammt... Das ist ein multi-Tier-40-Foot-Fall. Von hier... Und dann ist es noch ein weiterer, hier unten.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I dare to dream a life worth living, and that life includes this car being delivered. You know they make cars here in America. Yeah. So, otherwise, taking some time off for the first time in a while. This week, with the exception of today, twice, and tomorrow, week off. And maybe Friday, I might be working... Das ist fast schon viel Zeit weg.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Das ist ein verdammter Drain... I'm the warden. I'm the warden. I don't know, man. This is a real tough roll.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Es ist ein Swing-On. Es ist eine Ladder, die du mit dem Gesicht zuerst runtergibst.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright, I'm gonna give you like a 1 in 4 chance that it gets you close. This wouldn't stop him.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Man, du verlierst deine Mime-Verteidigung. Ich würde dir eine 1 in 4 geben. Aber das ist nicht mehr Stealth. Das ist nicht mehr Stealth. Das ist das Gegenteil. Das war dein Nat-20-Mine-Suit. Es hatte moderate Mime-Fähigkeiten. Okay. Mal sehen. Okay, it passed. You got 17. Even with minus 6, that's... You're there. He's catching up to me.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
You are. You are on the ground. Wade, you're shuffling along with your cinder block and you hear, MINE! And you hear, MINE! And then you look to your left just in time for the warden to... land in the dirt right next to you but his head whips up and goes looks right it looks dead at you he's on the ground broken many bones but he's looking right at you I've got him now
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I look him in the eye and I say, You'll never catch me, Warden! And I jump off the dock with my cinder block out, ready to be buoyed away.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Wenn er einen Moment aufhört, ist er tot. Willst du deine Robberie-App bemerken, bevor du springst? Nein, ich habe das in meiner Zelle verlassen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Und ich komme mit meinem Zinderblock, bereit zu fliehen. Du, ich werde dich nicht lügen. Ich sehe nicht einen einzigen Weg, dass das für dich funktioniert. Ich auch nicht. Aber mich zu schwimmen, die Möglichkeit, meinen Atem zu halten und zu glauben, dass mein Natt-1-Zinderblock fliehen kann. Aus Leid für dich gebe ich dir die gleiche Chance, die Bob hatte, dass es jetzt mit einem minus sechs ist.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ja, die Dinge gehen immer weiter und ich denke mir, ich kann das machen. Ich wollte die Woche abnehmen, aber ich habe Probleme, Nein zu sagen. Also pingen mich die Leute. Bob pingte mich und ich war so, technisch bin ich frei.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I'm asking for worse. I'm giving you because for some reason you've been one step ahead of him this whole way. I'm gonna say, hey, maybe you picked up a styrofoam cinder block. There was a prop house. They were shooting a movie on Alcatraz at this time. Maybe. You know, you're the DM, man. No, this ain't fucking happening. You just sink like a rock. You sink like a cinder block.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Two seconds in, you're dead. Out, unconscious, sink. You're not even that deep. You're like two seconds. Meine Beine sind noch auf dem Boden, es ist nur mein Gesicht und der Block. Du hast zuerst die Arme rausgezogen, deine Arme sind unter dem Sinderblock eingeschraubt, und du warst so... Und dann ist er tot. Bob, du musst es beobachten. Du musst die Welt des größten Idioten beobachten.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Du siehst nur Bubblen auf der Oberfläche. Ich liebe es einfach so, dass ich den falschen Haustuch entferne, meine Sicherheitsmaske anziehe, meine Cinderblock schaue dir in die Augen, ich reingehe in einen Teelöffel Wasser und sterbe. Okay, äh, naja, das ging nicht so gut. Mann, super, Bob. Du hast gewonnen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ja, ja, du hast sie nie weggezogen. Ich denke, sogar in dem Fallen, haben sie dich geschützt, sodass du sie immer noch sehen kannst.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Jesus Christus, ich weiß gar nicht, wie ich das scoren kann. Okay, Bub, du kriegst den Win-Point. Du hast es, glaube ich. Ich bin nur froh, dass es bis zum letzten möglichen Moment gekommen ist. Ich glaube nicht, wir haben Zeit für mehr. Ich hatte so viel mehr. Ich werde die Idee verbessern. Ich werde es ein bisschen verbessern. Was ich denke, dass das mit ist...
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
clearer win loss scenarios multiple paths but specific paths i'll come up with those for each scenario so that we have really strict guidelines what's there what's available what's the technology and yada yada so that it could be clear but i think you guys did the best you could with what you had proud of you
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich habe eine To-Do-Liste, die ich bereits gearbeitet habe. Ich habe einige Lichtpulver in einem anderen Ort. Ich nehme Molly's alte Auto. Du verabschiedest dich echt seltsam. Es ist eine Verabschiedung, wo ich alles, was gemacht wird, verabschiedet, weil ich viel streamen, recordieren, Podcasten mache.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Du hast so stark angefangen und deine Rollen haben dich verdammt. Ich habe so weich angefangen und dann hat alles funktioniert. Aber das Natty-1 auf dem Senderblock war für mich ziemlich scharf. Es ging einfach von da nach unten. Und mit einem Natty-1 ist es so schlimm genug, dass ich glaube, es würde noch funktionieren. Also, weißt du.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright, so that's all the time we have for... So the point stand it follows. Bob, for mentioning the infinite technic explosion, you got a point on the small talk section. Wade, you crushed the small talk though. You started off with I can't unwet. That was great. I subtracted a point though for to die, to feast. It just weirded me out.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Anyway, uh, Drunk Minecraft was not in the Minecraft movie tragedy, good point. And John Cena... booed? Oh, boop, right. John Cena!
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Okay, das stimmt. Du stehst bei plus zwei für das kleine Gespräch, also das ist gut. Dann Bob, der Nat 20 Mime, er ist in den Wänden, die Pfefferspray-Trappe, die Gläser waren ein nicht kluges Spiel, aber ich gebe dir einen Punkt dafür. Du hast dich in den Himmel gedrückt, was dich durch schier Brevado einen Punkt dafür gab. Und dann hast du gewonnen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Also, durch keine eigene Aktion, hast du gewonnen. Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben. Ich hoffe, dass ich sieben stehe. Und dann 1-2. Wade, du hast es in der Toilette gesehen. Du hast den Guard gut geklopft. Du hast sein Outfit verloren.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Du bist bei 9. Oh, Scheiße. Also obwohl Bob technisch gewonnen hat, Deine schwere Natur hat dich wirklich da.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Yes! Yes! Three! Hey, wait a minute. Three threes in a row. That wheel's rigged! What's the score right now? Nine to what? Seven to nine. What are you adding, Mark? Most perceptive. Which, I don't know which one of you two were most perceptive in this episode. Bob hat nur eine Wahrnehmung erzielt. Habt ich noch eine? Bob hat dich verpasst, als du ihn durch den Pfefferspray-Trap verpasst hast.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Hör auf. Hey. Ich glaube, ich habe nur einmal wahrgenommen, dass ich verfehlt habe. Ich habe einen Nat 1 auf meinen Fehler gespielt.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich denke, diese Distanz, wenn du das mehr als einmal gemacht hast, ist besser als die drei Reisen, die ich gemacht habe. Weil meine sind nicht so weit weg. Einer geht zu Bob. Er ist am meisten gefahren. Ich bin vier oder fünf Mal gefahren, aber ich bin nicht sehr weit gegangen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich werde die Farbe auswählen. Wir werden tatsächlich präzise darüber reden. Okay, Wissenschaft. Ich werde eine Farbe auswählen. Eigentlich werde ich ein Bild von euch nehmen. Ich habe es gerade genommen. Ich werde es hier in Photoshop legen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich weiß nicht, ob ich dich glaube. I don't know if I do either, but I'm hopeful. Just make sure you get enough butthole, son. I'm very close to finishing the Animorphs book series. It took like two weeks of not reading, but I got back to it. I've only got four books left out of like 64. And oh, there was a big charity stream not too long ago. A couple weeks ago at this point, I guess.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Nothing. I'll take two screenshots and I'm gonna compare them. If you change anything, I'm gonna be real mad.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Es war, als das Rad gerollt wurde. Also ich nehme die Farbwahl deines Shirts, Bob, die für die Hash-Wahl ist 2D2D2F. That's a good hash value. That's some good hash. Is that a drug or is that a hash brown? Wade, your shirt, according to your camera, is... 2D or not 2D. 26232B. 2B? !
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Bob, dein Hintergrund in diesem Screenshot und ich werde dir den Vorteil geben, dass ich es nicht nehmen werde, von wo die blaue Lichtstärke die hellste ist.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich werde es nahe zu dieser Lampe machen, aber nicht, wo die Lichtstärke spezifisch glänzt. Das ist das, was ich dir geben werde. Klingt das fair, Wade? Yeah, so long as you take this specific panel for me, I think. It's still reading as a dark purple. Bob, yours is 3C1A55. As if I know what the distance between hex values is. No, no, we'll figure this out, man. This is a great way to do this.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And I do see, Wade, yeah, your panels are slightly gray. There's black ones and there's slightly gray ones. I'm gonna try to pick in between. Sie sind eigentlich alle der gleiche Farbe, es ist nur die Weise, wie das Licht sie schlägt, wenn sie horizontal oder vertikal sind. Ich habe 0D070E und ich gehe zu einem Kalkulator und wir werden finden, welches von diesen in Werten näher ist.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I mean, that's technically how it works, right? It's just a hex value. 2D, 2D, 2F, 3C, 1A, 5, 5 for Bob. We've got 2, 6, 2, 3, 2B, 0D, 07, 0E for Wade. Bang. Come on. Ist das ein Tie? Nein, das ist kein Antworten. Das wird es wert, Leute. Das wird es wert. Oh Mann, ich war sechs Fs weg, Bob war sieben 1 Cs weg. Wir haben es.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Okay, also, du kalkulierst, du konvertierst sie zu RGB, dann komponierst du die Euclidean-Distanz zwischen den verschiedenen Farben. Wie man es macht. 2D, 2D, 2F konvertiert sich zu 45, 45, 47 in Bezug auf R, G und B. 3C1A55 konvertiert sich zu 602685. Das ist ziemlich anders. Also kriegst du 65-45² plus 26-45² plus 85-47².
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
But we raised about $28,000. American Heart Association. Overall $81,000 was raised. Playing Minecraft in 2025 of all things. Wow. Minecraft is bigger than ever, man.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Nimmst du die Querschnittsumme von all diesen, kriegst du die Querschnittsumme von 2030, was 45,05 ist. Das ist nicht schlecht. Nimmst du 26232B, was 383543 ist, und 0D070E, was 13714 ist, 38 minus 13 squared plus 35 minus 7 squared plus 43 minus 14 squared is the square root of 2250, which is 47.3. You are 2.38 more different way than your background.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And I think it's purely because you're so much brighter than your background. It is very bright. I can't wait for the comments of like, so instead of saying grey not purple, brown not brown, grey not grey, they're doing, I'm okay with this, I love this number. That means I lose? Yes, you lost. Are we currently tied? Yes, you are tied right now. Oh heck.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And I think if people punch in the code that I picked for Bob, it is a purple. It is a dark purple. Very dark, but I picked a dark purple for him.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And I'm sure it will be correct. I think what it is, is Bob, your shirt is catching some purple light. So it's making your gray a dark gray purple. But all the purple is behind me, if I'm honest. And I did not pick the bright purple area. And Wade, it is. It's gray on gray. But tonally, the distance between your grays, because your gray shirt is so much brighter than yours. I've got black stripes.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oh, du kannst nicht mal die Streifen sehen, mit all der Kompression. Ja, mein Bildschirm zeigt keine Streifen, es sind nur grüne Blocken. Es ist schwer zu sehen, wenn du nicht so nah bist. Ja, es ist eine kleine Unterschiede, aber technisch ist die Luminanz-Wahl viel mehr anders als die aktuelle Farbluminanz-Wahl. Also bei einer kleinen Margin.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich wusste, wir sollten das Luminance-Value an die Runde geben. Okay, nächstes Mal. Ich habe das so rechtlich wie möglich gemacht.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oh. Oh, I have no idea. Who said fuck the most? Alright, give me the transcript of the episode.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Jeder liebt den Film. Der Film war wie ein großer Meteor, der sich auf einen Minecraft-Welt befindet. Ich weiß nicht, ich habe die Filme vermischt gehört. Manche Leute lieben es, es ist sehr anstrengend. Manche Leute lieben es, manche Leute hassen es.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich würde gerne auf Scientifika, aber ohne Transkript, kann ich es wirklich nicht sagen. Auf jeden Fall haben wir keine instantanen Transkripte gerade. Ich könnte das aufsetzen, ich könnte, aber ich muss es. Wir müssen das tun. Es wird fair sein.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
One man show! It's fine. No, it's not gonna be that. It's very unlikely. It's like, you know. This is my D20, though.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich glaube, es war 14 das letzte Mal. Ich glaube, es ist tatsächlich 16.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oh, that looks way bigger. Look how big that looks. Maybe we weren't at 60. I don't think we were.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oh, look at it now. Now it really looks like the Reds just out there. Oh.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright. Well, we're gonna call that there. Bob, sorry you worked so hard. Wade, congratulations. Let's do loser's speech first. Bob.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Well, well said. Well said. Wade? I may not know how to use a Bluetooth jammer. I maybe had a useless robbery app. But my security badges, my brilliance, my great vocal impressions got me out of that prison. I might not have escaped Alcatraz, but I ain't going back to jail, coppers! Because I'm dead. Death is the end we will all see one day. And therefore I win. By getting there now. Memento Mori.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Well, I'm going to refine this idea. I want to get to more scenarios in the next one. Much like with Nah I'd Win. I was going for that kind of vibe. I think I've got... We've tested it once. The Perfect Crime Part 2 will be better than this one. Even though this one was very funny. You guys did great. So thank you so much. For all of your hard work. Thank you all for all of your hard listening.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
For the listeners who came in third place. Viewers, you're on the shit list. Keep up. You're not even on the scoreboard. What are you doing? Terrible record. Thank you everybody. Be sure to follow the podcast. Merch never. Shut up about it. Unless. No. Follow these guys. MyScream, LordMinion777 and me, Mark Lahr. Thank you. Podcast out.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich habe das Gefühl, dass Drunk Minecraft den Mark verpasst hat. I don't know that we necessarily made the cut. It would be really funny if we did.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Smokey the bear with his wraparound penis. Smokey the bondage bear. The dick cannons.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ah, das ist das, was Minecraft gemacht wurde, da, Mann. Weißt du, jetzt, dass du es erwähnt hast, habe ich völlig vergessen, dass wir einen extensiven, langlaufenden Minecraft hatten.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Das ist, wie Charity-Streams früher gemacht wurden. Ich denke, das waren Charity-Stream-Kreationen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich erinnere mich an den drunken Minecraft-Episode, in dem wir eine Tauernbrücke bauen mussten. Und Marc und ich wurden von dir verabschiedet, weil du alle unsere Brücke verloren hast. War das nicht das erste Mal? Nein, es war der Reboot. War das nicht der Reboot? Okay, ja, das war die nächste Saison. Ich erinnere mich nur daran, dass ich drei Brücke gedreht habe. Marc hat fünf gedreht.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Das war großartig. Didn't I just steal them all from you guys? Yeah, yeah, you did. And it was brilliant. And none of us saw it coming. That sounds right. Anyway, we'll be in the next one, just like I'll be in the next Five Nights at Freddy's movies. For sure, it's gonna happen, guys. And Shakira's calling me to be a backup dancer on her tour any day now. Alright, Bob, what's new in your life?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Something Scarzy. Sorry, the one note of John Cenas theme coming up.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Äh, das klingt wie Warhammer 40k. Amy wird an mich wütend. Weil ich... Ich schaue immer nach, weißt du, BlackRattleLibrary.com ist dort, wo Warhammer ihre Bücher veröffentlicht wird. Und ich gehe da immer nach, ach, keine neuen Bücher, die ich lesen möchte. Es gibt nichts da draußen, das ich lesen möchte. Es gibt keine guten Bücher außer Warhammer. Es gibt keine guten Bücher in diesem Universum.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich habe gerade ein Buch bestellt. Ich versuchte zu schauen, welches ich bestellt habe. Patrick Rothfuss' Name... The Name of the Wind. Ich hatte es mir empfohlen, es ist ein ziemlich guter Sci-Fi-Buch. Now we're a book podcast, eh? Guys, should we do a book club? No, but we might steal from a book club. What's that mean? I don't know what that means, but I like it.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
We might go beat up some book readers. Yeah, Wade, you take the lead, you beat them all up. I'm the book reader. Yeah, me!
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
There we go. More points for how many times you punch yourself. I was just lying. Welcome to the perfect crime.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright, so for everyone who was like in the episode maybe a week back now, I know I'd win part three. Everyone was like, oh, release the cut stuff. Yeah, I bet it's great. No, man. No, it didn't work. That's why it's cut. Not everything we cut out is cool. With that out of the way, I've perfected the perfect crime. Wow, I didn't know the perfect crime needed perfection. Oh, it does.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Hello and welcome to Distractible. This is the podcast that you have chosen and your fate has been decided. There's no going back now, you're in it for the end. Because our retention time needs to stay up. No matter what!
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
And it'll need a lot of perfection as we go through this. Because you guys are gonna be perpetrating the perfect crime. Or should I say, one of you.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Oh, am I just like off today? No. Yep, see ya. Log off. No, okay, here's how it's gonna work. One of you is the world's greatest criminal. The other is the world's greatest security guard. Each of you will be presented with the same scenario, where one is trying to rob the place that the other is guarding. You will each take turns in a similar way, where you are trying to counter...
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
What the other person is just doing to step in the way of each of your goals. One of which is to protect the treasures that lie in whatever place that we find ourselves in. And one to steal those treasures and ride off into the sunset scot-free. Es werden hier einige Qualifizierte sein. Also ich habe ein paar Räder, mehr als eine. Oh Gott. Nein, nein, es sieht schlecht aus. Es sieht schlecht aus.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Es ist nicht schlecht. Okay, also was ich gerade gemacht habe, ist eine Räder mit ungefähr, ich würde sagen, 30 Einträgen, richtig? Aber das sind alles Gadgets. Manche sind mehr für Stehung gemeint, manche sind mehr für Schutz. Manche sind einfach schlecht. Aber jeder von euch bekommt in jeder Runde drei dieser Items. Du musst sie nur in dieser Runde benutzen oder sie gehen weg in der nächsten.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Aber jeder von euch bekommt drei von diesen. Also ich werde einfach sagen, Bob, dein erster Schritt. Du bekommst... Ist das für die Kriminellen? Weißt du, welchen Rollen wir haben? Noch nicht.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Pfefferspray-Dispensierer. Oh mein Gott, ich hoffe, das könnte gut für jeden sein. Ich werde die Noten nehmen oder so.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Das ist eine gute Idee. All right, wir machen das. Klick. All right. Wade, du kriegst... A Bluetooth Jammer. I don't know how useful that is.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I'm your host Markiplier here to guide you through this episode and all the adventures therein and the people that I'm going to subject to my whimsical whims are these two gentlemen here Bob and Wade. Wade why are you making that face? I splashed water on me and I can't unwet.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
I should have put like an associate or like a partner in crime on this one. I don't have that here. Anyway, I'll also open it up to whatever you interpret it can be used. You can use it in whatever way feels fit. Ich bin froh, dass du dir das erklärt hast, weil ich Bluetooth-Jammer gelesen habe und ich dachte, du hattest nur Bluetooth-Jammer. Oh Mann, ich habe viel Remote-Stuff. Voice activated.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Mime counts for you. Du musst Mime auf dem Top deines Lungs schreien, um Mime-Stuff zu machen. Wade, du kriegst es. Ja, ja, ja, ja. Für alle, die zuhören, ich spinne nur ein Rad. Nichts verrücktes hier. Das könnte funktionieren. Fake Security-Badges. Es wäre echt schrecklich, wenn ich ein Security-Guard mit Fake-Badges wäre.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Keine Sorge. Ja, sicher. Es liegt auf deiner eigenen Vorstellung, wie diese Dinge dir helfen oder deinen Opponenten verhindern. Ich hoffe, es wird ein silener Witzel sein. Oh nein, es ist ebenfalls nützlich. Well in the Dark Sunglasses. Okay, und Wade, dein letzter Gadget ist... Ich habe so viele gute noch. Was? Was sagt das? Robberie in Progress Notification App. Was? Was?
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Was, wenn du der Besieger bist und du eine Notifikation bekommst, dass die Alarmen geflogen sind? Weißt du, du kannst das sehen.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Bob, du als Sicherheitsbehörde wärst wirklich lustig mit deinen Sachen. Okay, aber auch... Willkommen zu der We... Nein, das ist die Location. Das sind die Orte, wo es stattfinden wird. Es gibt verschiedene Dinge hier. Einige von denen habe ich nur aus Erinnerung geschrieben. Oder nur weil... Ich weiß es nicht. Irgendwie. Hier werden wir... Hier wird der Heist stattfinden.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Ich erinnere mich an Fort Rocks. Mhm. Prison Breakout. Okay, also das ist die Prison Robberie, äh Prison Breakout. Wir werden das Gefängnis eines Gefängnisses töten. Hör auf, wenn du das willst. Okay, und jetzt willkommen bei der Runde der Unabhängigkeit. Oh Gott. Oh, schau dir das an. Ich habe hier ungefähr 30 Sachen für verschiedene Vorteile und Unabhängigkeiten.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Merke, dass das direkt auf der Ecke des Weltrekords angezeigt ist. Warte. Okay. Okay. Alright, Bob, you were first last time, so you're first again, I guess.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Alright, that's interesting. Are those different every round? Yeah, so I'm gonna hide that one. Sorry, Wade, that's taken. Wade, you have... You can't hold your breath is basically what I was doing that about. So, no matter what, you can't hold your breath. Well, thank God we're not breaking into an underwater place, I guess. How this is gonna work is, it's an attack-based system.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
Each of you are gonna take turns, and each of you has three lives. You're gonna roll against each other, each one of these. And if you do an advantageous move, not only can it give you a bonus, it can take away from the other person's chances to win.
Distractible
The Perfecter Crime
So I think it's whoever rolls higher, one gets plus, one gets minus for their rolls on that turn, and then you set up for the next round, try to undo what they did, get ahead of what they did, and then see if you can... fix this at all. I also didn't think at all if there was like a have you even been detected situation.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
see you remember it sticks I remember that quote yeah that's basically her only line I watched it with Molly and I learned that half of Ryan's like the only Ryan Ryan shout out to you again you don't have to shout out someone every time you mention their name no I do I got told that the only time I bring people up on here is to shame them and this was Only half shame.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
So it's kind of like a nice one compared to my usual bits. Because I bring people up usually to like make fun of them for something. I'm learning that I'm kind of an asshole, but I get away with it.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Like people think I'm stupid, so they're like, oh, it's okay. It's just Wade being an asshole. Yeah, I do. People let me do it.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I can see that. I can see that. Wade, what do you think? In Scotland, their hair is just different than other countries, and they keep it in a real tight braid. 1780s, real braided Scottish hair time. Real difficult to cut with scissors, so they needed something better for it. So they invented the chainsaw to cut through the braid. They don't have to unbraid the beard to cut through it, you know?
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I know, yeah. I said what I said. The way they designed shoestrings, those little plastic edges, really annoying to cut the plastic bits, so that was designed to cut through the plastic part of the shoelace so you'd have the little ends to tie your shoes.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Similar to Mark's answer, but it was actually plays. When the director would yell cut, the Scottish accent was so pronounced and loud whenever they would talk that they couldn't hear the director yelling cut. So they got the chainsaw to make the...
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Oh, there it is. I thought you were going for the Hugh Hefner today. I thought you just came in a robe with a hat.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
A prominent crop in Scotland is spring barley. Spring barley, incredibly difficult to cut without a chainsaw.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
We were there one time. We went to the mall and I remember there was just barley everywhere.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
You know. This is a story where I wish I had a Fantasia because a vivid imagination for chainsaw crotch is not it.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. 1950s, right? This is after World War II had ended. We were still kind of in the Cold War. This was pre-Bay of Pigs. And a big problem in World War I was trenches. World War I, World War II, mines. Mines. So before you go out on the minefield, you'd put down your bubble wrap and then you would cross it. It would kind of disperse your weight.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
And whenever you did hit a mine, the explosion would be minimized because there was bubble wrap in between you to protect you.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
They got fired. They were packing up their office like, well, I guess we'll just wrap it in this.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
No. No. Yeah, it sounds awful, doesn't it? I hope we never... One of the trends I hope never comes back is wallpaper, dude.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
You could do that with paint and not have to peel it off to replace it, though. Replacing wallpaper, removing wallpaper is so awful.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I'm not big on the accent wall thing. What do you mean by accent wall? Where you have like three walls, one color and one different.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I mean, it could look nice. I just don't like dealing with the accent wall I don't like the look of. I feel like it just looks like someone was lazy and didn't finish the job.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
All right, I don't think he said that, but come on, hit me with it. At one point in his life, he had to have. So Play-Doh, it comes with those different like plastic contraptions where you can like make little Play-Doh spaghetti or make Play-Doh star shape, whatever have you. So plastic explosives in the military became a bad because people don't want to inhale microplastics.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
So they made Play-Doh because inhaling micro Play-Doh was much less concerning. And you could have different designs for your bombs to make them blend in with their environment. Wade is exactly right.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
That is, I could see how you would think then. Why am I a military in Mark's vagina? No, well, obviously.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I like that. No, no, no, no, no. The name Play-Doh pizza was a big thing. We had to find different food ways to compete with that. And the pizza dough was the key to a good pizza. So what if we make dough out of something else that can also be different colors and you can really make it malleable to kind of make it whatever shape you want. Because pizza, one or two shapes, you square around.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
So 1930s, Great Depression. People that were struggling, they saw the rich people going to their big, fancy, computerized ATMs. They're like, we're going to make sure they can't get their money out. We'll make something that can fit into any orifice to stop their coins and dollars from coming out.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
And they made the dough to shove right in the dollar slot so the rich couldn't get their money from their ATM. Herbert Hoover.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
So whenever you get dirt under your nails, you have to get like a file to clean out. It's really annoying. But the dough could shove right under, stick to the dirt, and you'd pull it out. And your dough would be a little bit dirtier, but under your nails, perfectly clean. And the teeth... Who needs floss when you got Play-Doh?
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Was this an assassination attempt? Was the teacher like feeding the annoying kid Play-Doh every day? Like, fucking die, Timmy.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Doom the Dark Ages, available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Rated M for Mature.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
getting it in between your teeth that is involuntary and i hate it it's something there's something about that that like deeply disturbs me and makes me actually throw up a little bit i got bob on this tangent earlier mark before you got here because i was looking on amazon and i came across craft macaroni and cheese gummies that were recommended to me and it's just a box that looks like craft mac and cheese but it's like
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Well, no, just our poopy cat. We got those like dog training paper things you put down the little potty pads or whatever. And he uses them about 60% of the time. So we have had about 60% less poopy floor. That's an improvement. Yeah, that's the only poopy update I've got.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Pretty unforgivable. I realize you want a bunch of different powders from a bunch of different countries. Have you tried cocaine? Have you? I did use a cocaine grinder in high school. Your cocaine grinder? That I used for my chemistry class. Do you grind cocaine? Someone in my family did because we had a grinder.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
We've not gotten there in schedule one yet, so I'm not really sure how it goes.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
You ever had a wart? Sure. I cut one off with toenail clippers and used like a pair of like needle nose pliers and yanked it out. Yeah, I hate that story. The treadmill, full speed, you just sand that thing right off. That's why it was infinite. Did you really do that?
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
It grabbed its bubble wrap, wrapped up its belongings, and moved away. Actually sells insurance for Liberty Mutual now. Every now and then I hear my head... Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
We think it has something to do with going through kidney failure to some extent. Yeah, well, Keters has been around. I think he is 18, about 18.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
gone that shit's gone so uh if anyone's curious about four or five six months of straight high alcohol percentage hand sanitizer it'll kill about anything hot skin tips for mark that's probably a good one to keep and never use even before covid when i was working at united dairy farmers the amount of times you have to wash your hands like you know when you're working with food products it's like you're constantly washing sanitizing washing sanitizing it does affect the texture and stuff of your hands
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
So during the COVID time when, yeah, I don't know how often you had to do it, but I imagine that probably did a lot of things to your hands. You probably have eight extra fingers. No, they're pretty good. They don't have to be on your hands.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
The catapult, not as useful as you'd think if it's trying to aim it, but a treadmill at the right speed, you put something on there, it could be a lot more accurate with where you're aiming. So you put your little bomb or whatever on your treadmill and just, and it goes, whereas you don't have to manually wind it like the catapult. Treadmill gets your bomb to the right spot.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Do you still multiply by 7 for cats to figure out their age? Is he like 140 or something?
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Who wants to wipe these days? Whenever you can have something that automatically goes between the cheeks, not only wipes, but removes hemorrhoids at the same time. Weirdly made by the same guy that made that chainsaw.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
We were going to be all stupid like we don't know, but we knew. Right, Wade? We knew. Yeah. Tank treads. What did you say? Grain? Grain.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
oh uh you know it's pretty easy you know uh odd job from bond how he throws his hat well the hat was a little bit too obvious so they needed something sharp and tiny that could fit like in a wallet so to speak so the credit card was the perfect like throwing weapon it didn't look very dangerous but man could it cut through your finances and a throat so they invented the credit card after they invented the credit card shut up
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
No, that's stupid. So drug dealers didn't want to have their money confiscated in briefcases. So they actually came up with the credit system to keep track of who owed who what. And that way, whenever the fuzz was low, they knew they could make their cash deal. And that's how Bitcoin started. The modern day credit card that's definitely not usually mostly a scam. Always.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I've heard they're very chill about that. They used to be honorable. Remember the mafia? Vito Corleone, before Michael took over, he was all like, we respect you, Vito. We know you're a man of your word, because your word was your bond. Old-style criminals different than these new criminals. Kids these days, criminals, not the same as our criminals. Those chilled child criminals out there, damn.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Yeah, boomer criminals are much better than these gen effers or whatever they are. Shit.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Do math. I'm a cat. 24 plus 16 times 4 in parentheses? I'm not doing that. That's how old he is. It's pretty old. Yeah.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I assume it was so brutally ineffective. They sent them deep into a forest. They're like, you know what? You're going to live here far away from the population. And that's when they started cutting down trees to find their way back.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I think Mark gets this one. I am fine with that. I think that's true. Thank you. But I would love to see the numbers. Yeah, Mark, can you just throw that together real quick?
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Make it less concerning. Get one of those things they use to bypass drug tests, the Wizinator. And you can use that to demonstrate. Interesting.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I swear to God, I'm not joking. I went into the bookstore. I was like, oh, everybody poops. Mark's in an adult bookstore in the fetish section.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Especially being tall, because a kid coming in at that height is right in the splash damage height. That's terrifying. Only animals stand up and pee in their own home toilets.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I hope it's like a horror novel. It's supposed to be terrifying and awful.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I have been there. I've heard that the offspring song. Welcome to Americana. That's what it is.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
I think we literally have a Barnes & Noble in Cincinnati, at least one.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
Yeah, Tri-County closed. Kenwood's like the mall, and they changed their parking lot. Now you go in, you have to do a loop. You can't just park.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
This is, I have seen my hat all over again. Here's what I think happened. I think there's an experiment being run where certain people in like the world have like a gene where they see a certain thing on a book cover or on any kind of cover, cereal box, and they're compelled to pick it up. So they're planting things in different places that have this on the cover.
Distractible
A Disgusting Episode
And you're one of those people and you're part of this study and you just don't know it.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Take this episode with a grain of salt. It is not going to be a serious political discussion in any way. We hope you vote, Ted. Who's Ted? I didn't vote for Ted. No, no, Ted Cruz. All right, here's the over and under. Oh, voted. You just said voted in a weird way. Why did you not think I said voted? I hope you vote.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I can never tell if you're doing a bit or if you're actually just honestly confused anymore. The way he said voted was like the emphasis was so wrong. I hope you voted. Do you think? Do you think we still have Ted Cruz? Do you think he's still with us? I didn't know he was up for election in Ohio. No, I'm just, I'm just, I'm so curious because I've heard, I've heard that nobody likes him.
Distractible
The Election Episode
And we here are with Distractibles live election result discussion. I voted today. Wow. I did too. I'm just a show off. I brought another shirt in case we didn't want to date the episode. No, we're dating. Oh good. What a crazy election it will be and was and is. The results of which resound across all time. Even here in the future past. Isn't this just the future future?
Distractible
The Election Episode
I mean, it's hard to imagine why anyone would like him. Even in Congress. I don't know if this is true or not. It might have just been a comedian's joke, but it's like even his own party members, even worst enemies will hide in rooms when they know he's coming down the hall.
Distractible
The Election Episode
And I don't know if that's just a presence thing or an odor thing or just like he'll start talking at you and that's bad enough. I don't know, Bob, do you hear a lot about him? I don't hear a lot about him myself here I mean, I hear a bit about Ted Cruz. He's pretty covered nationally.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I always just like to imagine that people don't want to talk to him because they know he's about to start telling them more stories about his most recent trip to Cancun. Wait, do you know about that? Ist das eine Lüge, weil sein letzter Name Cruz ist? Nein. Oh, er ist der Cancun. Ich erinnere mich an diese Geschichte.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ja, ich habe einfach immer, wenn etwas passiert, das ist das, was er macht, richtig? Und das, er hat sich beschäftigt. Also, ich habe mir nur vorgestellt, dass seine Kollegen auf der Helle einfach so sind, oh Gott, ich brauche nicht, eine andere Geschichte zu hören, wie blöd er auf der Straße war, auf seinem Jet Ski, nur hier zu schlafen, zu schlafen in der Kloak-Ruhe. Die Kloak-Ruhe, äh?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Die Kloak-Ruhe ist ein Ort. Es ist nicht ein guter Schlafplatz, weil es ist eine Kloak-Ruhe für jede Seite der Eile, ich denke, außerhalb der Klammern, aber Ist das, wo sie Kleidung hängen? Oder ist das so wie die Kleidung, die Heimat und die Kleidung in der Kleidung? Kleidung hat die White House Sponsoren. Oh, wow. Hey, hey.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Sie gehen da rein und es ist nur ein Mischung von Kloak-Merch auf den Wänden. Der Präsident kommt raus und macht den FNAF-Kloak-Kombi. Schau, die Regierungskontrakte sind, wo das Geld ist. Das ist, wo du wirklich, wirklich willst.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich habe gehört, dass Mitch McConnell versucht hat, euch über ein McConnell-Palpatine-Krossover-Art-Ding zu sprechen, aber es ist wirklich schwer, die Lizenz für diese Art von Ding zu bekommen. Es ist toll für die Sniper im US-Militär. Sie sind versteckt in plain sight. Ja. Das ist ein riesiges Vorteil.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Die militärische Branche von Cloak wird, wenn die Geheimnisse darüber herauskommen, mich berühren. Aber, und für jetzt genieße ich die Rewarden dieser Kontakte. Sie sind lukrativ. Aber ja, okay, also war es oder war es nicht verrückt, dass Elon sofort sein Starlink-Orbital-Laser-Netzwerk aktiviert hat und weibte, äh, welches Land sage ich? Ich weiß es nicht, Mann, das ist dein Bett.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Wer willst du aus dem Bildschirm nehmen, Mark? I thought you were going to say it's going to wipe out the offices of the NLRB or something. What's the NLRB? The National Labor Relations Board. The people who get you in trouble if you treat your employees like they're indebted servants and that sort of thing. Yeah, and then impregnate the other half. Whoops. I don't know what's happening anymore.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Yeah. Alright, so he activated a horrible laser and wiped Antarctica off the map to fight global warming. Oh. It was a cold move. He turned Antarctica into a bunch of crushed ice, thus lowering the global temperature by a few degrees. Like the kind that Frisch's has, like Vanilla Coke? Exactly. This is unrelated. A bunch of frisches are closing in Cincinnati and I'm really sad about it. Buy them.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Did you see there's a big pile of the big boy statues that's just like locked up behind a gate somewhere? So a small group of people were like, we should get these things released and set them up around town like the flying pig statues. I'd rather have the restaurants back myself. I don't ironically enjoy frisches. That's a good restaurant. Okay, wait, I'm googling the big boy pile. Oh, wow.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It was exactly what I said. They're not in a pile. Statue Graveyard is a more apt description of it. I don't know why is that circled? What? Why is there a red circle on top? Äh, weil das Zehn-Manns-Dick auch da drin ist. Oh nein! Sie waren so, hey, wir sollten diese Big-Boy-Statuen... Hey, das sieht aus wie ein Penis! Wir sollten diese Big-Boy-Statuen hier rausnehmen.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Es ist, ja, es ist nicht eine Pile, aber definitiv eine, die sich übernommen hat. Ich meine, sie sind ein bisschen pilig. So viel, wie man etwas wie das pilen könnte. Es ist eine Pile. Du weißt, ich bin überrascht, dass es kein Horror-Game war, über diese bestimmte Maske, weil ich immer gedacht habe, auch als Kind, dass diese Statue furchtbar war. Nein, ich fühle das.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Weil es ist wie ein Kind, das einen riesigen Hamburger hält. Also nicht nur ist es ein Kind, der groß ist, aber auch das Burger ist zu groß für das Kind. Wer bekommt das Burger? Es gibt so viele Fragen, die ich habe, die unantwortlich sind. Und auch, warum haben sie den größten Suppe- und Salatbar? Sie haben einen ziemlich guten. Ich mag auch ihre Fischessen. Es gibt noch einige von ihnen.
Distractible
The Election Episode
No, we're in the past of their future. We're in the past of our own future for their present. Ow. How did you hurt yourself? You're sitting at a desk. I'm fine. Don't worry. Okay. Listen, my name is Markiplier. Or maybe it's not anymore. I don't know who I'll be in this future, present coexistence that we have. The changes that we're going to affect to the future will ripple.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Sie sind nicht alle weg. Sie sterben einfach. Schau dir das an, der auf dem Boden schläft, mit einem Cheeseburger-Pillow, die Füße auskippen, um sicherzustellen, dass niemand rein kommt, um zu zerstören. Er liegt einfach da und hält die Tür geschlossen, um ihre Privatsache zu behalten.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Und ist es nur ich, oder ist es so, dass du, wenn du die Runde siehst, und du siehst sie nach unten rechts, ist das eine in der Rückseite besonders furchtbar? Oh, ja.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das eine, wo du alles sehen kannst, ist das Gesicht. Das ist irgendwie schrecklicher als die anderen. Es hat keine Augenbrauen, das ist das Problem. Vielleicht ist das der Grund. Ja, also wenn du in einem Horror-Game wärst, wäre es so, dass 90% dieser nicht die echte Statue bewegen. Das ist der echte. Das ist der echte, der nach dir kommen wird, wenn du dich zurückwärmst.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Somebody makes a Frisch's Big Boy Horror Game and we play it. Can we save the Frisch's franchise so I can get the... Dude, they have the best Vanilla Coke on the planet. It makes the Coca-Cola Vanilla Coke cans look like garbage. Isn't it because they just make it like you're supposed to? Like the old school way where they just put real vanilla in it?
Distractible
The Election Episode
I don't know, but they have like the crushed ice that floats on the top of the cup. They have the fun cups to hold. And, I don't know, their Coke. It's like, people don't know how good McDonald's Coke is. I think Frisch's Vanilla Coke is better than that by far. Ein interessanter Fun-Fact. Frisches benutzt diese roten Coca-Cola-Köpfe. Das ist einer der Restaurant-Standards.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Die haben eine rippelige Außentextur. Sie können sie kaufen. Das ist ein patentiertes Design. Sie können diese roten Restaurant-Grade-Köpfe online kaufen. Ich wusste das nicht, aber es scheint, dass die Plastik, aus der sie hergestellt werden, sehr dünne Plastikkuppen sind. Es scheint also, dass sie nicht so speziell sind. Es scheint, dass das Plastik eine relativ hohe Insulation-Ratung hat.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Selbst wenn es eine dünne Plastikkuppe ist, hält es eigentlich den Trinkraum länger kalt, weil es eine spezielle Art von insulativen Plastik ist. Ich weiß nicht, worüber du sprichst. I know what you're talking about. Share it. I don't wanna. It's like those red cups that like a lot of restaurants use. It's a specific kind of thing. It's a patented design. Yeah, yeah.
Distractible
The Election Episode
They kind of look like the old school police siren red things, but upside down and you drink out of it. Like a cup. Anyway, I didn't mean to distract us from this important three week old stuff, but I wanted to talk about Frisch's. I don't even remember what we were talking about. No, hold on. I had a point to make. Ted Cruz stinky? This is so like a niche Ohio problem.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I guess the rest of the viewers and listeners don't really care about my frisches woes, but man. Big Boy is in other places. I don't know if they're closing elsewhere or not, but they're being evicted, I think. I think they were being evicted, is what it was. Evicted? Why Big Boy close? Why Big Boy close? Oh, sie haben sich vor dem Ausstieg gefühlt, weil sie Millionen in Renten bezahlt haben.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Nun, das klingt weniger unwahr mit all dem Kontext, aber... Ich vergesse nicht, was ich sagen wollte, aber es war sehr wichtig. Ich denke, die Zeitlinien werden sich nicht mehr verbinden. Okay. Glaubst du, dass Antarktika auf dem Gesicht der Erde der richtige Weg war? Genius-Weg?
Distractible
The Election Episode
I mean, it may have been if Al Gore wasn't there saying, I invented the Internet right as it happened, trying to save the one Antarctican tree. You know, this is what I always wonder, because I know that's a joke. And I believe that he probably said that. Did he actually say that, though? Because I start to question everything I've ever heard.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Because the Internet nowadays, you can actually get video, but also in the near future with AI-manipulated videos, it's going to be even harder. Back then, when that happened, you just had to wait until the news cycle would play it again. It's not like you had it. Like the original time he said it. I like had a stroke. Who said what? Al Gore saying he invented the internet. Oh, it's such a meme.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It's a meme, but it's like... I don't even know. It's a tragedy that Antarctica had to get blasted into cubed ice, but just think about all of the cute penguins floating around on chunks of said ice. There's a whole new tourist industry of boat cruises through penguin ice flows. That's true. So like you used to have to venture onto the continent.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Now it's just penguins stranded in the middle of the ocean all over. Oh, that's cute. Do you want to hear Gore's quote? Absolutely. So, part of his quote was, I took the initiative in creating the internet. So I'm assuming what he actually meant was like he helped ask some bill or something. Can we have internet? Yes.
Distractible
The Election Episode
And this will be the only surviving message from a past that no longer exists because the future that you're listening to this branched off from a causality effect Das brach das Universum. Wow. Die einzigen überlebenden Mitglieder der menschlichen Rasse mit mir aus diesem Bereich der Zeitung sind Bob und Wade. Ist das wie Interstellar? Genau wie Interstellar. Okay.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I'm not saying that Al Gore is the perfect person in the world, but I know nothing about him other than that quote. You don't know anything else about him? He ran for president. He did. There's probably more to that story, but he did run for president. That's all we need to know anyway. And he didn't win? Question mark? He didn't. He though? And that's where that quote comes from.
Distractible
The Election Episode
A Gore and a Bush are worth two on the ballot. Have you ever seen Al Gore and George Bush in the same place at the same time?
Distractible
The Election Episode
I mean, no. Sorry, sorry. I misread the tone. Well, there is one right answer and one of you said it and I'll write down who. Yeah, Antarctica, that sucks. They had probably a few people, animals and ice. Melty ice? Probably... Oh man, I hear the water flowing. What? What? I think Wade might be suffering a little bit of decline. I've really gone over the hill in the last three weeks.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Here, I'll pose it to you this way, Wade. If you had a button to activate the Starlink Laser Orbital Barrage Network and they were all pointed at Antarctica right now, would you press that button? No, Antarctica has done nothing wrong to me. Now, if it was aimed at Pittsburgh. Okay, if it was aimed at Pittsburgh. No, that's too close, man. That would scare me. Hahaha.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Alright, how far away does it need to be? Does it not matter what place it is? You're equal opportunity, orbital bombarder. You know what, I feel like Jupiter gets a pretty good rap and everyone ignores poor Saturn. So like, I didn't even hit Jupiter. Just fuck Jupiter, dude. Everyone ignores poor Saturn?
Distractible
The Election Episode
I'm sorry, Saturn is probably one of the only planets in our solar system that if you showed a picture of it with zero context to almost anyone, including elementary school children, they would be able to name it. Because it's the one with the big rings around it. Yeah, it doesn't get the love it deserves. No, you were just saying Jupiter doesn't get the love it deserves.
Distractible
The Election Episode
No, no, Jupiter gets too much praise. Guys, I solved the Saturn-Hexagon. What? I solved the Saturn-Hexagon. Three weeks ago or now? Three, four weeks ago. Then now. Time is speeding up. Tell us, Mark. Quickly, quickly. Alright, so in the bottom of Saturn or the top, it doesn't really matter in space, but in one of the poles, there is literally a hexagon. And this is not an exaggeration.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It is hexagonal in shape. Right on the pole, it is a hexagon. Like a prism or just a drawing of one? Yeah, someone drew a hexagon. No, it's a hexagon. God drew it on there as a prank and he's still getting people with it. Sie haben Teleskope seit Tausenden von Jahren, aber sie werden es bekommen, wenn sie es sehen. Oh, da ist ein Strähnchen in der Mitte.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Du kannst einfach einen Strähnchen poppen und Saturn trinken. Warum? Nur, weil es ein Hexagon ist? Es ist ein bisschen wie die Farbe der Baja Blast. Glaubst du, es riecht wie eine Baja? Ich hoffe, das ist nicht die Farbe der Baja Blast, die du getrunken hast. Ich erkläre den kognitiven Verlust. Was trinkst du? Blasen von Baja Blast aus 2009? Das ist nicht gut, Mann.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich habe nicht gesehen, dass es einen Ausbruch datei gab. Also, da ist ein Hexagon, richtig? Ich habe Gerichte gemacht, richtig? Und so eine der Dinge, die ich mache, wenn ich braune Fleisch für Pasta mache, dauert es ein bisschen, um es zu saugen. Du bist in der Saugung, ich habe es. Also. Also habe ich die Pfanne flach auf dem Kühlschrank gesetzt, weil ich es füllen wollte.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Und ich habe es in einem Ort gesetzt, wo ich den Kühlschrank in die Flasche schieben kann. Aber ich kann es von der Seite schieben, richtig? Also habe ich es in eine Flasche gesetzt, weil ich mir gedacht habe, dass ich Soap in die Pfanne schicke, während es sich füllt. Es wird da rumspielen und es wird etwas
Distractible
The Election Episode
Nein, ich verstehe, was jetzt passiert ist. Oh, das ist wirklich traurig, dass das Knacken auf der Wand während einer FAP-Session dann kam.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Es wird es mischen, vielleicht ein wenig waschen, damit es einfacher wird, mich später zu sauberen, richtig? Als es sich drehte, war es natürlich das Wasser im Inneren bewegend und die Söder waren sich vermischt, richtig?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Und wegen des Angles, an dem es sich drehte und es das Wasser im Inneren drehte, wie sich die Söder und das Wasser in der Pfanne separierten, in der Pfanne, eine perfekte runde Pfanne, formte sich ein Hexagon. Nicht lachen, nicht lachen, ich habe nicht ein Bild davon genommen, weil ich so war, oh, das ist interessant. Und dann habe ich bemerkt, wie ich etwas wie das vorher gesehen habe.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Die Spannung dieses Pots mit einer einfachen Kraft von etwas, das in diese Weise kommt, in einer zirkelbaren Pfanne, hat einen Hexagon geschaffen durch die Verschiebung der Soap-Bubblen und der Wasser innen. Legitim so wie das in Saturn. Ich habe es geschlossen. Ich will meinen Nobelpreis. The Hexagon is just God doing dishes.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It's him peeing at an angle into Saturn and it just... He pees like I pee. You also pee hexagons? No, remember when I was cutting things in half? That was the last episode or something. No, I was with Wade. I was thinking the exact same thing. It just comes out as a hexagon. Watch, I can do a bunch. I can do a star. Mike, like Gandalf with the blowing smoke ships, but it's my pee.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Hey, you guys wanna see a monkey that can dance? I gotta hop around a little. You guys wanna see a whale come up and take a breath in its blowhole? It's two-dimensional, but you'll see it. Don't you have to explain the solution to get a Nobel Prize? Or do you just have to figure it out? Yeah, I just explained it. It's soap and water, Bob. What didn't you get?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Well, what was cooked on Saturn that made it need soap and water in it? That's the real deep question. I told you. Meat. Beef. Browned beef. Browned beef. I browned a lot of beef. You never seen those space cows? Man, you need a whole planet to cook one of them. It's true. You laugh, but it's true. No one was laughing. No one was laughing. You don't laugh, but it's true. Oh, come on!
Distractible
The Election Episode
That was funny. I don't know about this one. I don't know if this episode is salvageable. Mark, we have the answers. Don't worry. Let's keep delving. Alright, let's delve a little deeper. Covered Elon and Al Gore so far.
Distractible
The Election Episode
What do you think of at the next UN meeting where they proved Simpsons right once again where a Russian representative pushed the button and flipped his sign from Russia back to Soviet Union? Do you remember that? That was crazy. I've seen that. I saw the one where Homer drank beer. What an episode. That was a great one. It's been like 20 years since I've seen a Simpsons episode.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I don't know if that joke will make the cut, but... Why wouldn't it? Why wouldn't it make the cut? I don't know, that's pretty raunchy even for me. This is a selective show, Mark. What do you mean, why wouldn't it? Now Bob will sing a rendition of Wet Ass Pussy. Ist das eine Song? Und jetzt wird Baldemar eine Rendition von Wet Ass Pussy singen.
Distractible
The Election Episode
What kind of beer was it, man? Oh, duff. Whoa. Have you seen the image of the, there's a flash forward episode where Lisa becomes president and she's wearing an exact outfit down to like the jewelry and everything that looks like a, there's a picture of Kamala wearing the exact same purple blazer. Well, clearly she saw the episode and then was like, well, I gotta dress up like this.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Dude, what if people are doing that? Trying to make the Simpsons things come true? What if Trump saw the Simpsons episode and was like, oh yeah. They go to the debate and they're wearing the same Lisa Simpson outfit. Dude, I built a golden escalator. Why would that not be perfect for such an announcement? Do you remember how many debates they do after the election? I can't wait for those.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Well, it's easy to debate when it's lower stakes. Everyone's in when it doesn't really matter. I, you know, honestly, truly, I don't think that that wouldn't happen because I could see some kind of, you know, person on staff that would look at that and be like, hey. Someone will make this connection. It'll get traction.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Someone will share it and it will gain traction and people will make the comparison. People will be talking about it and then people are talking about you and then that will help promote the message. Because everyone knows it's a meme like Simpsons predicting it, but it's like, you know, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy at some point because people want it to happen. You know what I mean?
Distractible
The Election Episode
So are you working on breeding a spider and pig? It was just a regular pig, wasn't it? It was a regular pig in a Spider-Man outfit. But it was on the ceiling. Homer was holding it like that.
Distractible
The Election Episode
If you look at the picture, I will photoshop out Homer and make him right. I will make him right. Just like everything that we're saying right now, these predictions, they will be made right. Why Bacon? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Finish your question. Why do I, and I'm going to assume and hope that you guys, well, I don't know if I should hope that you guys know this.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Why do I know that pigs have 30-minute orgasms? And why do you guys also know that? You saw that episode of Black Mirror where the guy fucked one. I forgot about that. I've only seen like two episodes of Black Mirror and I think that was one of them. Me too. I couldn't. I got it by Phil. I haven't seen any. What is that show about? I thought it was about cell phones. I haven't seen any!
Distractible
The Election Episode
I thought it was about scary cell phones! Oh, sorry, spoiler! Man, the Choose Your Own Adventure Black Mirror episode was real funky. Did you get the pig in there? Did you fuck the pig? Or did you go to Antarctica? I couldn't decide. I still hung... I paused it. I just... I was really... Because the web shooter thing made me think of that. And I'm like, why do I know that? I'm gonna be honest.
Distractible
The Election Episode
That sounds like a fact that I would know. I've never heard that before. Ist es nur Mädchen, die 30 Minuten arbeiten? Ich hoffe, dass der Junge nicht. Er wird dehydratiert. Er wird IV-Fluid brauchen, wenn er 30 Minuten arbeitet. Es muss wahrscheinlich beide sein, weil ich denke, es sind nur Kühe, die in und aus gehen. Die Kühe, sie sind langweilig. Das war ein schlimmer Beef-Joke. Yes!
Distractible
The Election Episode
Insert Shia LaBeouf clapping in the auditorium meme. You know, it was funny in my head, then the moment it started to come out of my mouth, I was like, it's not funny, don't. Too late. I'm giving you a standing ovation point, but I didn't... Sitting ovation. Sitting ovation, you get the sitting ovation. Standing desk ovation. So, the conclusion is, web shooters for pigs... Internal, I guess.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich weiß nicht, ich wusste nicht, warum du das weißt und ich finde das seltsam. Ja, wo hast du das gelernt, Kumpel? Ich versuche zu verstehen, wo ich es gelernt hätte. Ist das wahr? Ist das wirklich wahr? Ich will das nicht googeln. Nein, du versuchst uns nur zu tricken, sich zu googeln. Ich sehe, was passiert. Warum hat Autocorrect gesagt, dass Pige 30-minütige Orangen haben?
Distractible
The Election Episode
This makes the pig the mammal with the longest orgasm. Why?! Damn. Wer hat so viel Zeit? Ich meine, Pigeons haben nichts zu tun. Was, müssen sie zurück in die Dürre ruten? Ich fühle mich einfach so, als würde das dich nicht zu Threaten auswirken. Nun, das sind domestizierte Pigeons. Vielleicht sind sie nicht kapazifiziert. Vielleicht ist das ein Walking-Around-Orgasmus.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Denn wieder einmal, Finger auf den Puls. Das ist sehr weit in die Zukunft, aber auch jetzt ist Baldemar apparell super gehackt, was schrecklich ist. Es ist fixierbar, sobald die richtigen Leute die richtigen Dinge machen. Ich habe einen Kontakt auf YouTube und er ist sehr nett und er ist sehr gut. Ich habe nicht versucht, ihn anzuhören oder sowas.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ein Walking-Around-Orgasmus? Kannst du dir vorstellen, dass du nachher eine Konversation hast, wo du sagst, das war großartig, aber du musst 90 Minuten warten, damit sie stoppen zu schreien? Die Kinder sind im Petting-Zoo und in der Distanz hört man nur einen Pferd, der seine Hände wegschmeckt und der Landwirt ist so, oh, vergesst sie nicht, Bessie ist ein bisschen ein Schluck.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Lass uns die Götter anschauen. 90 Minuten später. Okay, wer will einen Petten? Nein! Du konvertiertest nicht, ob es nur die Frauen mit 90-Meter-Orgasmen gibt oder die Männer. Und ob Pferde auch die Spezies sind, wo die Männer sofort nach dem Magen sterben. Ich habe es nicht erwartet, aber es ist möglich. Die Frauenpferde konsumieren eigentlich die Männerpferde.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das ist so, wie man Quantrales bekommt. Weißt du, was ich in einem schrecklichen Film sehe? In der Sexszene. Ja. Der mit den Bats und dem Möwen? Nein. Die Pferde? Oh, die Pferde! Ich habe vergessen, die Pferde zu nennen! Ja, und die Hedgetrimmer.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Aber es ist so, dass sie in dieser Szene, sie haben das, ich bin mir sicher, ich habe die Szene noch nicht angeschaut, aber ich bin mir sicher, unglaubliche VFX der Kerl, einfach wie alle seine Muskeln, einfach wie und wie er sich einfach in einen Skeleten umdreht, dann da und da. Ich schätze, das ist, was mit dem Pferd passiert. Ich möchte dieses Episode von der Roste auslösen. I like it.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I think we're having fun. Good thing this timeline got obliterated. I realize now it happened because I expunged the universe that we're currently in. Does that mean whenever this episode ends that we're gone? We're gone, yeah. Well, I feel like we should stretch it out a little bit. Let's watch a full-length video of a pig orgasm and see what that looks like.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Apparently boars, not pigs, domesticated pigs here, but boars, the male boars, take five to eight minutes to ejaculate, to complete their ejaculation. It's measured in minutes, not seconds. God, man, isn't that average? Yeah. Why did you grimace? What are you imagining in there? You were like, isn't that average? And Wade was like, yeah. Ich dachte nur, das ist ein großer Schmuck.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das ist ein großer Schmuck. Wenn du für ein paar Minuten sprichst und betest, ist das ein verdammter Clean-up. Ich hatte lange, lange Reisen zum Kühlschrank, die kürzer waren als das. Ich hatte lange Ejakulationen. Wir sind alle in der Mitte von... Ich glaube, wenn dieses Video rauskommt. Es ist noch nicht November. Es ist direkt am Ende. Das ist der Wahl-Episode.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I was like, alright, we gotta dive deeper. We gotta ask ChatGPT this. That's really who we gotta ask. Oh no, I'll get my ChatGPT account. Don't worry, I'm working on it. What were we gonna say about No Nut November? We failed? We just passed? How are you guys doing? Are you holding strong? I'm about to have a three hour December, if you know what I mean. The shortest December.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It's gonna be over for you after three hours. The clock strikes midnight. We're gonna paint the town white. I love that poem. My favorite one. Say the rest. Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm coming, I'll get back to you. Alright, I'm gonna give you points so you can stop. Alright, I'll take it. You get the stop point.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich habe gesagt, hey, Baldemars Kanal ist gehackt und auch sein Twitter, aber du kannst nicht wirklich etwas darüber machen. Und sie sagen, okay, wir werden es auslösen. Okay, er sollte eine Reset-E-Mail sehr bald bekommen. Und ich sage, ja, ich denke, seine E-Mail hat sich kompromissiert, Leute, weil es ist wie Google und YouTube. Es ist die gleiche E-Mail, die Sie für diese Sache haben.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Man, this is really an episode that I'm gonna regret having said when my family members and in-laws and friends... Don't worry, this timeline is expunged. We don't exist anymore. Can we not air this till after the holidays so that way I don't have to address family face to face? I hope this is the one they put on for everyone to listen to.
Distractible
The Election Episode
My cousin is such a good... Is this like the Black Friday episode? Everyone's off work for the holiday in America. You have Thanksgiving. They wake up and they're like, alright, we got Friday off. Let's go shop and listen to my favorite podcast. I have so many regrets about this episode, man. We get that Walmart deal and they play it over the speaker. Das ist interessant. I didn't know that.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I still want to know why exactly you knew that. Yeah, I don't know why I know that. Let's flip this back on, Mark. This is your knowledge. But my other question is, is that the record? For mammals, it seems to be. I've googled enough. One of you two searched that one, man. For anything. For anything? My search said mammals, which could imply there's some kind of bacteria out there.
Distractible
The Election Episode
That is fucking... No, there are birds also. There's other species besides mammals that do the sex. Forgot about the fish and the birds? Insects? I think it depends on how exactly you define it. Because what I'm seeing is, octopi can take up to four hours to transfer the sperm from the male to the female. But it's not a four-hour orgasm. It's not four hours of... Dude, with eight legs?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Think about the foot rub and back massage you have to give to convince the octopi. Anyway. No, we're not segwaying out of this one. We're staying on this topic. So, Al Gore. We're giving people the election coverage they deserve. Apparently rattlesnakes have been recorded 23 hours and 15 minutes. But again, that's not like an orgasm the whole time.
Distractible
The Election Episode
That's more like... Yeah, they also take three days to swallow them.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das ist toll, Mann. Wie war deine Wahl? Hey, dein Kopf ist der gleiche Farbe wie dein Shirt. Das ist beeindruckend. Wir müssen mit einem Term kommen, wie das Gegenteil von Hawktua. Was ist das Swallow-Geräusch, das wir koinieren können? Wenn du es herausfinden kannst, kriegst du ein Podcast-Deal. Goal. Er hat es gemacht! Er hat es herausgefunden! Er hat den Schwalbe-Gesang!
Distractible
The Election Episode
Es ist wie das Erkennen des Higgs-Bosons. Es existiert! Quaggulp. Nehmt alles, was ihr jemals hattet. Okay. Delete ihn. Okay, so this has been quite an election. We have all voted. We've done our civil duty. And this has been a time. Did not expect Dark Brandon to rip open the fabric of reality atop Capitol Hill. Aliens visiting finally was really underwhelming. Thought it would be more exciting.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ja, anyway, ich denke, sie werden es lösen. Vergesst nicht die flachgeladenen Lichter auf meinem Gesicht. Was zur Hölle? Mark, I think the rave is leaking in from behind the camera. I'm remote desktopping into three computers and they're installing things so they're... Ah, reboot system, it was done, okay. That's weird, you're still doing that in the future, past.
Distractible
The Election Episode
um and then you know the the predicted false vacuum collapse that is rapidly approaching us uh at light speed is going to be really really really interesting and um yes we we we Is that why the piggy went wee, wee, wee all the way home? It sure is, Bob, it sure is. Man, that rhyme goes a different way whenever you think of that. Did you know... Oh, this is dark.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Like there's kids listening to this. At what age did we all discover and or realize that the piggies that went to the market were not just going for a nice shopping trip? Now? What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, I just put it out there. Why would a piggy go to market to buy food? Uh-huh. No, they get food from the farmer.
Distractible
The Election Episode
And I'm pretty sure the farmer is the one who brought them to the market. And I just think all the way through why exactly a farmer might bring a pig with them. Okay, this little piggy went to market. Uh-huh. But this little piggy stayed home. Sure, the lucky one. But where did the third pig go if it's going wee-wee-wee all the way home? That's the market pig, right?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Didn't the third little piggy like eat Wheaties or something? I'm not gonna lie, I had never thought that deeply about it. And this is the first time I realized, now that you're saying it, that that piggy did go to market for reasons that I did not. The rhyme should go, the first little piggy was slaughtered, the second little piggy was spared. Das ist ein weirder Rhyme, Mann.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das ist alles Teil von diesem Buch. Okay, cool. Ich werde es hier beenden. Ich dachte, das war der Titel. So, part of that kids book. Alright, cool. So, this is the farm. I love that book. Betsy's kind of a slut. It was more than likely butchered and sold off to a market. That's my toe. My big toe is the little piggy that went to market. Alright, you wanna know the standings? Yes. Say Wade first.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Don't make me feel better. He got a point for shit bird. He got a point for it's a cat dude. It's still funny.
Distractible
The Election Episode
A point for don't laugh. I don't know why I wrote that, but it was either to tell you to stop laughing or don't laugh in a certain way. I don't know. Don't laugh. I gave you a sitting ovation point. Just one, even though I did it twice. I gave you the stop point and then three days to swallow, which in my head reads a lot like you have seven days to die. The porn parody of The Ring.
Distractible
The Election Episode
The porn parody. Set three days to swallow. You're gonna swallow in three days. I'm not gonna lie, Bob. I probably should have wrote down a lot more points for you because you had quite a few zingers. But I've got a concerning bunny, which still, I still don't know why the bunny is so concerning. It's concerning. I gave you the baked beans points because that spurned the jokes.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Look, I'm trying to save, preserve our timeline. The work that I'm doing right now is what keeps our psychic waveforms preserved as they go forward into time. The signal that... ... ... ... Are you trying to say denigration or degradation? Yes, that's one. Yes, degradation is what I was saying. The Dagobah system? The signal Dagobah. It's from Dagobah. It's coming from the Dagobah system. It is.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Like I said, I probably should have wrote some more bangers from there. A baked bean!
Distractible
The Election Episode
That entire bit, I get credit for that. Bungus the Penguin, you got a point for that. Same bush, different gore. And then Betsy's kind of a slut. Das war der letzte Punkt, den ich gewonnen habe? Das war schon lange her. Ich weiß, ja, aber ich meine, das ist das, was ich meine. Ich hätte wahrscheinlich mehr geschrieben, aber ich habe es nicht geschrieben. Ich denke, ich hätte noch mehr.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich hatte noch ein paar tolle Singles drin. Okay, dann sind ihr beide untergeworfen, aber Wade, du hast sechs, Bobby hat fünf. Verdammt. Ich bin glücklich mit meinen Punkten. Das ist schockierend für mich. Ich kann es nicht glauben, dass du plötzlich glücklich bist mit dem, was hier passiert. Ich denke ehrlich gesagt, ich sollte Bob viel mehr Punkte geben.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Oh, danke Gott, wir haben keinen Weg, um das zu challenge. Ich werde meinen Siegersprache geben, richtig? Ich werde 100% ehrlich sein. Ich weiß, dass ich die rote Challenge Flagge schießen kann. Ich erinnere mich nicht, was das triggert. Ein Votier. Ein Votier in der Subreddit? Aber muss ich nicht einen spezifischen Punkt challenge? Was soll ich einfach sagen?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich challenge, dass ich vier mehr Punkte kriege. If you guys ever think that I paid attention to any of these rules, you got another thing coming. I think you can just present your argument if you want to say that on the subreddit, you can, but they have to vote, you know, yes or no.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Fitting for election night to have a vote, but they will be very confused as to the contents of the episode that they are voting for. So in this episode we talked about how long pigs can orgasm a lot. It's the election night episode, by the way. Bob demand a recount on election Tuesday for an episode that comes out in three weeks. So there you have it. Whatever you have, there you have it.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Wade, congratulations. What's your speech? Das ist es. Er hat es. Er hat den Gulp Tua. Er wird seinen neuen Podcast Gulp Today starten. Gulp Tua. Ich kenne ihn kaum. Okay, Bob. Verlorene Sprache. Hey, dein Haar ist der gleiche Farbe wie dein Shirt. Das ist wirklich beeindruckend. Ist das, warum du so viel Shirts in diesem Farben trägst? So, dass ich ein Ausdruck sein kann.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I'm hiding in plain sight. I think we all know that I didn't lose today, but also, honestly, I just don't care enough to throw the red flag. I'm done with the subreddit. I don't go in there. I don't talk to them anymore. They burnt this bridge and they know what they did. So I don't want to force myself to have to go do anything there for any reason.
Distractible
The Election Episode
So for that reason, I do not challenge this obvious injustice. And if anyone feels badly that I should have won and I didn't, it's the subreddit's fault. You do got to be careful over there. You better not complain too much. They'll get you. You better not say anything. You stick your head up, they'll bite it off. They're like a praying mantis. They'll fuck you, then they'll eat you.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Can you imagine if a pig bit off another pig's head after orgasming? It'd be pretty metal. Would you rather have, let's not say 90, let's say 30, 30-minute orgasms or... Or no change. Or negative 30-minute orgasms. Expound. Answer the question. I don't think I want a 30-minute orgasm, but I definitely don't want whatever an inverse orgasm is. I don't want that.
Distractible
The Election Episode
You hoover up everyone else's orgasm in a vicinity around you. We would all be like Spongebob when he had the anchor arms just like walking around. 30-Minute-Orgasmus, man. Unsere kleinen Beine werden niemals wieder auf den Boden kommen. Oh Gott. Nein, ja, ich glaube, ich hätte den 30-Minute-Orgasmus auf den einen genommen. Okay, er hat den 30-Minute-Orgasmus.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das bedeutet, Wade bekommt den anderen. Ah, Wade, du musst alle Orgasmen für 30 Minuten aufrufen. Geh! Oh, es geht nicht da rein. Oh. Oh. Alright, well thank you everybody for listening to this horrible episode. All of our sponsors have left. Our podcast is in shambles, but this is why I am deleting us from reality.
Distractible
The Election Episode
This is a containerized version of ourselves that technically never existed and never will exist. It's a reality completely separate from yours. Es ist eine schreckliche universelle Tod auf galaktischer Ebene, von der wir uns nicht vorstellen können. All das Leben in diesem Universum wird nun in einem kurzen Blick des Augenblicks verschwinden. Es könnte dir passieren, aber es ist es nicht.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Ich verliere nur nicht, Iron Lung in diesem Universum zu lösen. Es wird viel besser sein als das in deinem. Es war wirklich gut. Nun, ich habe eine alte Version gesehen, aber es war sehr gut. Könnte das unsere Zeitkapsel-Episode sein, wenn wir ein Video in der Dürre für die kommenden Generationen finden? Könnte es dieses Video sein?
Distractible
The Election Episode
We're gonna etch this into a titanium record and send it into space so the aliens will know what they're dealing with. 30-minute orgasms, we gotta go. The Beatles, Blackbird, George Bush's speech from the deck of the aircraft carrier, the mission accomplished, and this podcast episode. The aliens will know not to fuck with us. Alright, thank you.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It's accelerating or something. I don't know. Pretend I said something good. Oh. Oh.
Distractible
The Election Episode
In your timeline for more much better episodes than this. And we have been Markiplier, MySkirm, and LordMinion888. Check it out. That was the only difference between the universes. Literally the only difference. Podcast out. At least I'm not nine. Because seven, eight, nine.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Yes. How are you guys in the future past? Being that I know now that we are in the future past, it explains a lot why I feel the way that I do, because I feel like I am was in the now then future. I'm tired and for no reason, because the baby finally has he's been sleeping really well. He put himself to bed last night for possibly the first time ever and woke up and put himself back to sleep.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Das ist nicht so verrückt für ein Baby seiner Zeit, aber für unser Baby unserer Zeit. Er macht das nicht normalerweise. Oh, wir haben einen Böden im Garten. Habt ihr jemals einen interessanten Böden in eurem Garten? Wir haben ein paar verschiedene Böden, die unter einem Baum leben. Interessanter Böden? Es ist interessanter, weil wir ein Fenster haben.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Unsere Strasse wird in zwei Flugzeuge gedreht, um von der Hauptfläche nach oben zu gehen. Und es gibt ein großes Fenster auf den Strasse. Aus dem Fenster... There's just a bunny laying out in the middle of our yard in the grass. Not hidden, not in a bush, there's no hole or burrow or anything. She's just laying there and she doesn't move.
Distractible
The Election Episode
But unless people go out there and go towards her, then she's all, ah, and runs away. But there's literally a little bunny-shaped ass print in our lawn. And so we were like, does she have, is there babies in there? No, there's not. Is she injured? She seems fine. She seems like she can go whenever she wants to. Ich weiß nicht, warum. Das ist kein normales Verhalten, soweit ich weiß.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Es ist einfach seltsam. Also, es ist ein interessanter Bunny, weil es ist wie, was machst du, Bunny? Warum schaust du nur, schaust auf das Haus? Ich weiß nicht, es ist interessanter. Maybe the bunny is looking at you and is like thinking the same thing. Like, what the hell are you guys doing? Hey, it's my house. I can do whatever I want.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Just because I like to run up and down the stairs naked at three in the morning to see if any of my neighbors notice doesn't mean it's her business. Do you do it until a neighbor notices? No, I just do it like every night at the same time to see if anyone ever says anything about it.
Distractible
The Election Episode
It's an interesting game because I think even if they do notice, some of our neighbors are not likely to bring it up. They'll just pretend it's not happening. But I'm curious which ones will say something. Hast du jemals Bilder von deinem Haus gesehen, die du einfach mit deinem Bein oder so verpasst hast? Ich wünschte es. Aber es ist voll Rear Roll. Voll Back Roll.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Was ist das Gegenteil von Frontal? Back Null. Back Shots. Irgendwie ist dein volles Back Null in deiner Bildschirmreflexion. Du hast die Bilder mit dem Handy hinter deinem Kopf genommen, also wusste du, dass du im Bildschirm wärst, aber es ist alles Back. Das ist gar nicht illegal. Wir haben diesen Jungen. Wow! Ist das irgendein Tier? Es ist ein Baum. Ja, es ist wie ein Hauk.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Es ist ein Pigeonhauk. Es ist definitiv ein Baum. Ja, es ist ein Baum, aber es ist ein Tier. Und das Tier... Ich war draußen mit den Tieren und ich hörte etwas fallen. Und ich war so, verdammt, ein Schwanz versucht uns wieder zu töten. Und ich schaute mich auf und das Tier, glaube ich, hat einen Dumpf genommen, um zu sehen, ob es Presley schießen könnte.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Weil Presley schlug sich um und ich hörte Geräusche und das Tier war einfach so... Als ich mich auf ihn angeschaut habe, dachte ich mir, oh du Scheiß, du willst auf meinen Hund scheißen? Ich bin mir sicher, ja. Ja, ich bin mir ziemlich sicher, dass Hock und ich jetzt kämpfen werden. Hock wird gewinnen, aber wir kämpfen jetzt.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Habt ihr jemals gesehen, wie, ähm, ich glaube, es ist ein Paragon-Falken-Hund? Es ist wirklich furchtbar. Sie, sie sind im Grunde genommen Divebomben, richtig? Sie sind sehr schnell, sie reisen unglaublich schnell. Aber eine der, eine der Taktiken, die sie in der Hunde benutzen, ist, dass sie an kleine Kreaturen schlafen und sie versuchen nicht, sie zu verletzen oder sie zu holen.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Sie schlagen sie einfach Divebomben und schmacken die Scheiße aus ihnen. Und wenn man es sich anschaut, gibt es all diese Clips von Paragon Falcons, die sich in einen super schnellen Eyebomb befinden und einen kleinen Böden in den Kopf schießen. Und sie versuchen, sie zu stören.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Und so haben sie die Scheiße aus diesen kleinen Kreaturen geschossen, bis sie so stört und aus dem Schiff kommen, dass sie dann gehen können und versuchen, sie zu fressen oder was auch immer sie tun. Aber... Es ist echt dumm, weil es sieht aus wie ein Falken und es ist einfach so, Bitch, ha, ich bin zu schnell. Sie fliegen einfach rein und raus. Es ist wie, Mann, das ist verdammt.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Es ist beeindruckend, wie schnell sie gehen, aber es ist ein bisschen verdammt. Ich habe nicht gesehen, wie Böse so hüten. Ich glaube, ich habe einen Pelikan mit einem Fisch gesehen. Ich habe einen Seagull mit einem French Fry gesehen. Ah, klassische Seagull-Böse. Who's got the most interesting bird with a food object? We got seagull with a french fry. I've seen a penguin with an electric guitar.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Holy shit. Is that a food object? You know that huge baby penguin? What's his name? Bungus? Yeah, Bungus. He has an electric guitar sometimes. I had a blue and gold macaw holding a cat by the tail. Was it flying? The cat? No. Das ist eine Katze, Alter. Was für eine Frage ist das? Du hast recht. Ich habe einen Ostrich mit einem Emu auf seinem Rücken gesehen.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Oder vielleicht ein Emu mit einem Ostrich auf seinem Rücken. Ich kann die Unterschiede nie sagen. Was haben sie gegessen? War das ein Fahrrad oder so? I don't know, it looked like some nondescript takeout pizza. That wasn't really the cool part. Weirdly enough, the penguin with the guitar doesn't qualify as food. It's very cool, but not pertinent. And the emu on an ostrich or vice versa.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Or maybe it was like, you know, an emu on an ostrich doing like the thing where they're kind of back to back and they keep flipping their legs over and over. It's a very Banjo-Kazooie type relationship. Yeah, it doesn't pertain to that. Wait, did the peregrine falcon or whatever it was eat the cat? No, they were both our pets.
Distractible
The Election Episode
We used to have a blue and gold macaw named Sydney and our cat used to go try to attack it and Sydney would like nip at the cat's tail and got it one time. Didn't cut it off, thankfully, but it did like... We used to hand feed her bananas too, I don't know. She would say banana, banana and we'd just give her a banana. I saw this leggy blond bird down three dry martinis at the bar.
Distractible
The Election Episode
There's alcohol food? Well, that's a question I'm not qualified to answer. The bar was called the Pink Flamingo. How leggy? How many legs? The correct number of legs. They just went all the way up. Legs up to the top of her top and face down to there. Face down to there? Where? She had face for days. She has a mid-face that rivals even yours. You know the movie?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Welcome everyone to a very somber distractible, a very serious distractible. You know when like a PBS show would come in and there would not be the happy-go-lucky music and all the bright colorful opening and it would just be some guy sitting there. Hey, listen, things are all exploding right now. Well, we're here to just tell you it's okay in the scariest way possible.
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The Election Episode
You're like, cut me off at the passageway. I don't know, I'm gonna say my jokes. Oh, the movie, come on, I didn't mean to cut you off. Something about the movie Long Legs, I don't know, I don't feel like it. To Long Legs, I was gonna say, I haven't seen the movie, but I keep going... Whatever else he says. I can't remember. Is that from that movie or you just like to say that?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Yeah, that's that's one of the big that was in like that. I don't even know if it was in the trailer, but it's one of the things that clips that got popular from the movie, because that's I've seen that a bunch also. Oh, this movie just came out this year. I was like, this must be some old movie I've never heard of.
Distractible
The Election Episode
came out this last year it's nicholas cage so i mean i've watched pretty much all of nicholas cage's shocky horrors it's got an 86 percent on rotten tomatoes and 68 percent of people like this movie it's well reviewed but i think from what i've heard it's not really the most enjoyable it's kind of one of those movies where you go like oh i don't know but i haven't seen it daddy
Distractible
The Election Episode
I don't know what your last words are, but it sounds like unbaked beans. I didn't know either. Unmake me is what he says. I had to see captions, because it's literally said, unbaked beans. I thought it was, daddy, mommy, I like baked beans. Unbaked beans. It would be a whole other movie if it was about baked beans. Gotta go to the bathroom. Unbaked beans. First direction, unbaked beans.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Oh, Friends popping over for a spot of chat and ketchup? I'll make tea! Hey, do I need to cook this pie at home? I'll bake free! Oh god, I drank my icy too fast. I'll bake free! Nicholas Cage in this movie? I'll make peace! That makes sense. No, no, it didn't, but it was still funny somehow. Long legs in Sequoia National Park. I make trees! Trying to be hip with the kids. OMG!
Distractible
The Election Episode
Dumbest joke that we've laughed the hardest at in a while. He's finished at a restaurant. Attack, please! I'm old. I'm doing good. My render farm is rendering. It's very powerful and it takes a lot of electricity. You're in the future now, so maybe it takes less. No more. But you got your solar all fixed, probably, right? I didn't.
Distractible
The Election Episode
I bought a 30-foot pole, but then I hesitated, or I didn't hesitate. I didn't hesitate at all. That's the wrong word. Forget I said that word. I underestimated how unwieldy a 30-foot pole is. Because when you extend it all 30 feet, it's not only extremely heavy at that mechanical leverage disadvantage, but also the pole itself just goes... Just droops all the way everywhere.
Distractible
The Election Episode
And so it's really easy to whack it on things. And, you know, solar panels aren't exactly the most... They've got things to help with droopy poles. What? Viagra. I don't know. It's the future, man. Who knows? You know, Mark, I'm surprised that this episode, three weeks in the future, you're talking about the big day today being the election. But for you, there's a bigger reason today is a big day.
Distractible
The Election Episode
That's what I'm trying to do right here. It's working, because yeah, I was like, man, only in the worst of events do I remember it being like that. This is the time. Three weeks later from when the day that it is, because we're so far ahead in our recordings, because we're such efficient, efficient boys, that we are on the pulse of the news.
Distractible
The Election Episode
NFL trade deadline, sports podcaster. Oh. Das klingt nicht so wie etwas, was wir brauchen, aber okay. You know, the offense has really been struggling, so they thought they would boost it up and say, screw that defense. We really have been having a hell of a time establishing our run game, except for last game. I mean, to be fair, it was against the Raiders.
Distractible
The Election Episode
But hey, lots of content from that NFL trade deadline. I'll bet you got a lot out of there. I sure did, but I don't like to talk about all of my massive, massive sports beddings, which are massive, and I do all the time. Quote me on this, for sure. Don't. Please, I disavow that past. I'm changed. I'm a new man. I apologize for my former behavior. This was a big, like three seconds.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Look, the timelines are converging. They're going... Love to gamble. Don't do it anymore. Never did. Forgive me for what I did. I moved on. I'm better now. I'm going back in. I'm done. Look, it's... I live a rollercoaster of emotions so that I can average out a perfectly boring life. That's what I... I go for that average. But today, you know who's not going for that average?
Distractible
The Election Episode
Oh man, three weeks from now. Al Gore? What was the question? Das war mehr eine rhetorische Sache. Ich wollte einen schrecklichen Segway machen. Weißt du, wer für diese Anzahl nicht geht? Aber Al Gore ist die aktuelle Antwort dafür. Bob, hast du eine konkurrierende Antwort dafür? Bungus the Penguin, der Elektro-Gitarre spielt? Du hast recht, er ist weit über der Anzahl.
Distractible
The Election Episode
Er geht nicht über die Anzahl. Wir haben Bongus the Penguin. Du hast es. Ich habe es verstanden. Also, wir wissen alle die Ergebnisse, was passiert ist. Wir wissen das Land, in dem wir gerade leben. Wir wissen, was es ist, außer wir wissen es nicht. Also, was wir in diesem Episode sagen, ist nicht wahr, ohne dass es es ist. Und dann ist es traurig, wenn wir zurücksehen, was wir sagen.
Distractible
We've Never Done This Before
Yeah. I've been told by, you know, a therapist in the past that anger is not always a bad emotion. Sometimes anger is very a valid human emotion that needs to be tapped into. Is your therapist Palpatine?
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We've Never Done This Before
No, no, it's like that if, much like many things, if you repress things, because I was, when I was a teenager, I was extremely angry all the time. So it's something that I worked on. But there's an unhealthy level of repression of certain emotions, and it is normal in a regular life that you're going to be angry sometimes.
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We've Never Done This Before
It just so happens that there's many things out there to get people angry and intentionally so or unintentionally. But at the end of the day, sometimes, you know, anger does motivate you to things. The fuck you energy I have is technically some outlet of that anger. Every time I'm like, I'm going to prove them wrong, whoever wrong, that's kind of anger coming through in a little way.
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We've Never Done This Before
And so you got to like, you know, release the pressure every once in a while.
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We've Never Done This Before
Okay. New shirts edging soon. We've really been edging this merch for a very long time. It's going to be quite explosive by the time it actually launches.
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We've Never Done This Before
Clearly, I know the difference. My vibe. My vibe. Guys, my vibe. The mighty Redwood. Just tall, powerful, girthy as hell, unstoppable, well-respected, top of the tree food chain, if you know what I mean. That's probably how trees work.
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We've Never Done This Before
get a lot of burls that everyone wants to come steal off you yeah yeah people always after my burls they are that's true yeah you're like the lucky charms leprechaun of burls except you know a tall leprechaun tall tree sure yeah whatever whatever you want uh-huh whatever that is an elf is that an elf are you saying an elf is a tall leprechaun yeah Why not?
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We've Never Done This Before
Have you ever seen a tall leprechaun and an elf in the same place? You got me there.
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We've Never Done This Before
They're lakes! Isn't there... Oh, is it called a sea if it's landbound but salty?
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We've Never Done This Before
Yeah, they connect to the Atlantic Ocean, but it's a long connection and they're very big.
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We've Never Done This Before
I can tell you this because it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's the water polo player, and I don't know why. It once showed up in my top emoji list, and I've never used it before, but now I always use it because it's just always there.
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We've Never Done This Before
I can see you texting that a lot to people. Actually, these are my next most used emojis. Those make sense. I don't know why you have a water polo player as your most used. I don't know. I don't know.
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We've Never Done This Before
I guess I could take it over while he's dealing with whatever in the hell he's doing. I'm doing good. I'll give you a choice. I could talk about my personal life or talk about this headline that's hilarious to me, but probably not actually hilarious, but it's intriguing.
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We've Never Done This Before
say swap until you both agree to swap back well if one of you pick me you never go back so i'm kind of scared i'll call that bluff i'll take it i'll take wade wade you don't get to take me though you get we have to circularly trade i wouldn't you're short i want i want to keep my height so i'm taking bob all right well you're you're gonna you're gonna get down to my head and your knees aren't gonna hurt and your hips aren't gonna hurt and your back's gonna be fine so i have to be mark then
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We've Never Done This Before
Surgeons in India just successfully removed the legs and buttocks of a parasitic twin from the chest of a 17 year old. That is interesting. I don't think the article is actually going to tell any more of the story than what the title is. I think the entirety of it is right there. Is this a really successful odd operation? How old? It was a 17-year-old?
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We've Never Done This Before
You could build a bitchin' garage workshop with not a lot.
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We've Never Done This Before
It could be. You don't have to start big. Really, what I've identified is going to a RYOBI sale and buying all of the tools that are on sale is not a good way to get anything done. Apparently this is not the best. Don't matter how many free batteries you get. Don't do it. It doesn't matter how much of a steal it is. It's just going to take up space. Yeah.
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We've Never Done This Before
You could slowly build out something or you could quickly build out something. There's always like great deals to get used sets of things. Oh, there's so much you could do.
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We've Never Done This Before
It is. And the technology for everything is turning over so fast, there's always a cycle of people getting rid of old tools that aren't even old. They're completely functional.
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We've Never Done This Before
The editing on that one was particularly insane as well. I don't know why. But yeah, Wade, you gotta check out Michael Reeve's Facebook Marketplace video. I'm not a Facebook Marketplace guy, but Amy looks at Facebook Marketplace and finds tons of great deals there. I don't use Facebook anymore, but... If I did, I would go there.
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We've Never Done This Before
who if you're selling the sticker was the most surprising because if you're selling a sticker that's listed for five bucks and you accept it for three i'm not gonna drive somewhere to give it i'd waste more in gas if i had a gas car than i would making the money off that sticker yeah i don't know anyway maybe you hope they come back you know repeat customers that's what it's all about there's a lot of facebook's marketplace sticker resellers out there you know
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We've Never Done This Before
17-year-old who had a parasitic twin, which I believe is a case where the twin is not... Partially absorbed? Alive, but yeah, partially there. Like the cells were splitting when it was an embryo and it didn't split quite right in some place and then, you know...
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We've Never Done This Before
There's nothing I would want to eat. This is like a you have to, right?
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We've Never Done This Before
Tacos. I know, I know, I know. Lava. Because that would offer up some pretty interesting party tricks and also suggesting I have really incredible heat tolerance of some time if I could eat it. Your shit would be wild, man. It would be. I wouldn't do it a lot, but imagine like a villain's trying to lower me into a volcano and I'm like, no, oh no, not this.
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We've Never Done This Before
Because I don't finish a single fucking game I play. Imagine for life, never finish.
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We've Never Done This Before
I think the worst advice I have ever received was probably
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We've Never Done This Before
probably something to do with uh investing in foreign exchange currencies i remember forex mark uh-huh i remember that that was a phase man it was a very brief window and you know it was crazy because i was like oh yeah i got the strats i know what to do i got some money i've been working this job and then you know that oh that story ends with me
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We've Never Done This Before
in a bathroom stall hunched over my cell phone watching a red line just go down and down and down and down and down sweating like oh god oh i should i should i could cancel it but it might go back up oh i guess still going down yeah so uh i lost about i lost about 40 of my money in one move and then i never did it again
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We've Never Done This Before
No, it was in college, yeah. And it was pretty early on. It would have been around the same time that crypto, the idea, might have just been getting started.
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We've Never Done This Before
in less because i i'm telling you the well is dry on news titles this season why where'd all the news go mark just nothing's happening everything's boring but there is one that i want to read because i feel like it's a it it's sort of a psa but sort of a like a common sense please texas official warns against measles parties as outbreak keeps growing I'm sorry, what is a measles party?
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We've Never Done This Before
Even if I had started when it started, I would have sold everything.
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No, it was just I must have saw some video or some guide online that everyone's like, hey, come on.
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We've Never Done This Before
So I'm assuming that it's the same kind of idea as a chicken pox party, which also is not recommended anymore because there's a vaccine for that, just like there's a vaccine for measles. But if you do have a child with measles, do not host a party where other children come and get exposed to the measles. That's not how that one works.
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We've Never Done This Before
For me, the weather's great, and that can't be beat. Obviously, there's natural disasters, but I'm not talking about that. Weather is great. There are tons of opportunities for my career out here that work really well for me. Um, met a ton of people here.
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We've Never Done This Before
There's a lot of, um, this is kind of like weirdly specific, but there's a lot of, and I'm not saying there aren't in Ohio, but there's a lot of really specifically at ambitious people here. And so there's a higher likelihood of meeting those other ambitious types that really want to kind of independently focused and like self-starting.
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We've Never Done This Before
Um, and so that's, that's been really appealing and good for me to meet. And it's usually they come from other places. They're all over the country and the world, but this is one of the hubs where a lot of those people congregate. So I think that's good.
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We've Never Done This Before
I'm not a people person, but it's really, really handy to be able to meet people that are really skilled in certain specific skills and they're all in one place or within like an hour's drive. So that's cool.
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We've Never Done This Before
The only substitute here is there is a place in Burbank, I think, that has a Cincinnati native that made a Cincinnati chili place. Oh, that's cool. I haven't been there yet, but I think it exists. I'm fairly.
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We've Never Done This Before
No, I don't disagree. It is something. We went back. I had it twice. Three times, actually, in the time I was around. That's a lot. You still counting, Wade? I really thought I had it. You almost did, man. You almost did. Don't beat yourself up about it.
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We've Never Done This Before
This is kind of robbing that one a little bit, but I think in specificity, I think everyone should speak a second language.
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We've Never Done This Before
And again, I'm not fluent in Korean. I'm trying. But automatically, it opens up your worldview to know another language because in that, you can interact with at least one more culture. And that's big. In America, if everyone also spoke Spanish...
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We've Never Done This Before
there would be an incredible, like, uh, larger part of interaction happening with people like, uh, from Mexico or of Spanish descent or anything like that. And then Spanish also is a gateway language to like French and Italian and, and all those other romance languages. Um, and so there's just, there would, it would, I believe it would probably be a net good.
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We've Never Done This Before
There's still be plenty of people that are prejudiced and biased. It doesn't stop anyone from doesn't make anyone a miraculously good person or fix everything, but it would, it would, they would at least be literate. Cause if they could speak to, well, maybe not. There's people that speak multiple languages, don't read it, but there'd be a little more going on up here. You know what I mean?
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We've Never Done This Before
All right, I got one last thing, which is here. Indian man awarded damages over length of commercials before movie screening. And I think this is interesting because the length of the trailers... Yeah, he sued because he thought there were too many commercials?
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We've Never Done This Before
I did not tell you who is ahead. I wasn't counting either, so I have no idea.
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We've Never Done This Before
And we're talking specifically about the trailers when the movie time starts, which has been getting egregiously high. Yeah, movies start like 10 to 15 minutes after their allotted time. The scheduled movie in Bangalore said the movie ran for 2 hours and 25 minutes, which is on the longer side of movies.
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We've Never Done This Before
Listeners. No, viewers. It was viewers because viewers disappeared and it's on listeners now.
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We've Never Done This Before
I felt pretty confident about every one of my answers. I'm pretty sure that I could say that it was me strongly through it.
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We've Never Done This Before
I was so ready for it, man. I know usually if I'm red first, it's not a good thing, but yeah, all right, real subversive.
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We've Never Done This Before
It was due to start at 4.05 and due to finish at 6.30, but with over 30 minutes of time added in from trailers and advertisements, the man was late for work, which he was scheduled for at 6.30 when the film was supposed to end.
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We've Never Done This Before
He gets two wins for the season championship, which probably ended by now. I don't remember.
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We've Never Done This Before
oh i saw it laying ahead and i was like what do i do this bad for me anyway uh mark continue your loser speech now that we have deemed that completely fair it's legally declared to be fair so i have no right to complain i need to tear up my previous loser speech which was going and then my follow-up winner speech i was going to read uh now i'm left with a nothing speech where i
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We've Never Done This Before
Feel like nothing, am nothing, and will never accomplish anything. I am not a mighty redwood. I am a lowly dandelion just blowing away in the wind. Cheers!
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We've Never Done This Before
We should make a rule that it can only be if there's a one-point margin.
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We've Never Done This Before
I have no idea, but it's, it is a weird amount of time that is dedicated towards these trailers and advertisements, which is, that is all they are. Their trailer and their advertisements for future movies, which I like trailers. Yeah. We always try to get there in time to watch all the trailers. Yeah, but it's too many. It is too many, I think, nowadays.
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We've Never Done This Before
There are usually about 20 to 25 minutes, I would say, in terms of trailers before the movie even begins. And they are fun to watch, but if you go to see a lot of movies, you see a lot of the same ones many times.
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We've Never Done This Before
Yeah, he won the equivalent of $574, which is not a ton of money. A movie theater can definitely handle that loss. But also some people were commenting, why didn't he just leave the theater at 620? You wouldn't finish the movie, I guess. But you can get a refund for a ticket if you really, really didn't like a movie. I think you can still get a refund.
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We've Never Done This Before
Yeah, it does open up the doors for a lot. I'm not sure how the legal system goes over there the same way as over here, but.
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We've Never Done This Before
No, no, they hit the accelerate. People don't have the attention span to watch at 1x speed. They got to do 1.5. It's really got to speed.
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We've Never Done This Before
Look, I've uploaded an entire video at the wrong aspect ratio out of a raw file that didn't even have audio. I don't think anyone's going to notice. No. No one cares. I never knew Brad Pitt was so squeaky sounding. They're all so busy looking at their phones, I'll never notice. Anyway, that's all I got for the news. I didn't talk about my life at all, but, you know, whatever. That's fine.
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We've Never Done This Before
You don't have to do that. I mean, I could, but it's more of the same thing.
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We've Never Done This Before
Not as weird as me, apparently, or maybe weirder. Depending on what got points, I don't know what did.
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We've Never Done This Before
Something, you know, the doctor wouldn't really second guess writing that prescription.
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We've Never Done This Before
It's one of those things where I know there's a list of issues to tackle in this country, in our society, but I really wish that one would be tackled relatively sooner from what it's currently being tackled at, which is never.
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We've Never Done This Before
um because yeah it's absurd and everyone agrees that it's absurd and some people agree so much that it's absurd that they take special action into these things um but our you know official elected leaders uh seem to not think it's a priority yeah funny how that works my bald stylist would just say go to turkey they've got the cure for everything in turkey
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We've Never Done This Before
yeah korea was same way and i know korea has got some problems with their medical system right now i can't remember what was happening exactly i think there was a strike for one reason or another don't know the full situation but even then it's still seeing someone same day a specialist ear nose and throat specialist same day same hour that i walked in impossible to fathom in the states impossible we've talked about this before and i need to hear about it
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We've Never Done This Before
I don't remember the last time I've yelled at someone on the phone or customers. I don't think I ever have.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
It's about to change. Huh? I have a big sweeping change that I just am bursting at the seams. My entire life, I have been led astray. My entire life. Uh-oh.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I'll tell you what's wrong. This is what I really actually think. This is very true. I was going to start off as a big dramatic bit. I think the problem with video games is that so many people in the creative driver's seat of video games are people that wanted to make movies and are instead in charge of making games. Or they're put in a position where they're making games.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And you have this expectation that a AAA game must have almost a movie level of cinematography and acting and a bunch of actors in there and all this cool stuff. And I'm not saying that a good story isn't part of a good game. But in a lot of these higher end titles, I'm not saying Diablo 4 is falling this because it's like it is a bit different.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And Blizzard's always done really cool cinematics that I do appreciate. Yeah.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
they've got a great they've got a couple great cinematics and and four they probably got the greatest cinematic team in gaming company history they they pioneered a lot of technology in terms of cinematics so all credit to them but you have and i'm not just talking about like the the the man of madan level where it's literally a movie that you know you do a couple quick time events and stuff like that shaking it like legends bro it's a man of madan quote
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Kick It Like Legends, Bro. That's all I really remember about that game. There's been built up this expectation that a game puts story and acting and all this first, and then the gameplay is an accessory to that. But that's... completely the opposite of how a game should be structured and built from the ground up.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
The experience, the game mechanics, the core loop needs to be established first, and then the story is built around that mechanics, and the story is constrained by the limitations of the mechanics of your game loop, and not the other way around. Because so many games that are really good games, like let's say God of War, it's a
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
great game i have never finished it but i know it's really well made and it's really well told story and like the acting is great and the actual like cinematography is great and then the gameplay is also good you know what i mean it's it's you talk about those those things first and then the gameplay which god of war when you go back to the original one the very first which i played every god of war except the two new recent ones even the psp versions of
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Go on? My entire life, I've been lied to. I've been slandered. I've been some other word that is also like this. I made a fundamental difference in my life that has benefited me beyond anything I could ever have dreamed of. For years and years and years, I've been lied to that boxer briefs are the superior form of underwear. This is a lie.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
The game itself in those games was the basics of it was combat that is like Tetris style accelerating there. And God of War has that. It does have that. But it is 50-50 with the story. And that's a balance I can accept. But it creates this expectation for the game developer where the expectation to create that cinematic experience is so high.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And then they have to be like, well, we got to raise up the game to this. And when it succeeds, those meet and it succeeds with that game. A lot of games don't succeed because they can't pull the game up to meet the story that they're trying to make at the same time. So I'm not saying story is bad. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying cinematography is bad.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I'm saying like putting that first is one of the core problems of gaming today.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
This is a lie that has been perpetuated and I will not stand for it anymore. As it turns out, briefs, tighty-whities, no leggies, whatever you want to call them underwear, that is the superior form of underwear. It is infinitely more comfortable. I never have any of the legs bunching up when I put my pants on, when I'm walking around. There ain't no chafing. Because there's nothing to chafe.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
There's no bunching up. There's no nothing. It is so freeing. It is so wonderful. I thought it would take me forever to get used to. Turns out, life needed to get used to me now that I've made this change. Are you throwing up? I thought he was just going to throw up.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Not us. Not us. We're better. We're better than this. I think that the gamers themselves don't realize how complicit they are in the choices that developers are making towards these games. They're...
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
is something to be said about the loot boxes of the world and the exploitation of gambling habits and the psychology of it that companies are trying to exploit very aggressively that should be made aware of. But at this point, people are... aware of these things and they need to understand that there is a feedback between the pre-order hype that everyone tells people don't pre-order.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Why would you? There is no benefit towards it. Sometimes you get like a pre-order bonus and that's just because they're incentivizing you to give your money earlier. And if there's a bonus you really like, sure, why not? But you don't know if a game's good because every game nowadays releases too early.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And the pre-orders are part of a cycle that leads to developers releasing games too early because they have your money. And the company that owns all these game companies now have a schedule of how they want and when they want to make money. They're like, we need to make money on October. Your game's coming out in October. Get those pre-order bonuses going because we want our money.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And when the game comes out, they don't give a shit what happens afterwards. Money is the only thing that talks in this world. And the entire world of gaming has been infiltrated by money. Just like what Bob was saying. but it's also on the responsibility of the gamers and the consumers themselves to consume responsibly and really, really think about what they are leaning into.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Again, the gambling side of it and the loot box side and the actually being exploited side, that is difficult to break for a lot of people, but we all are aware of this now. And also... Side note to the gamers being responsible for this, now more than ever is trend-based gaming. There's a lot of people that will play games because it is popular to play them, not even because they enjoy playing it.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Part of it is our fault. This is where we're kind of part of it because we're... content creators and streamers. We perpetuate this issue where there's like a certain attention to certain games. And a lot of times you'll get streamers, maybe not us, but they won't play a game unless they're paid to play it, or they won't play a game because they know they won't get viewership for it.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And that is also part of the problem. I'm not saying there's a big single solution to it, but self-awareness is something that's easy to forget in a larger statistical average of population size, right? You look at a large but it does. It always does. The individual matters in your actions as an individual matter.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And especially our actions as influencers matter because even though I don't like the word influencer, it's, there's no denying that what we do is influential with the people that watch us and they will play the games that we play and they will copy the behavior that we exude and they will do what we do. And there are some bad, bad examples of people who do gaming content that are just shit people.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And it's just, they're just terrible. And like names, Huh? Can I drop some names? Wade Barnes, Lord Minions, Minions 777. Oh, I hate that guy. Yeah, that guy. Oof. No, I'm just saying like individual responsibility in the gaming world is something that is dismissed out of hand.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Just don't look it down either. Just start pissing. That's all I do.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I'm glad you asked this. My minor was in linguistic studies. Yes, 100%. This is the origination.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Well, your dumb Google AI doesn't know what the hell it's talking about. I'm asking the real AI connected to the military equipment.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Well, that's fair. Permission to hijack the podcast. I don't know how I forgot to talk about something that is going to be the next thing people meme about me for probably months. Do we know about this? Is this new? I bought something. What did you buy, Mark? Have you heard of Brazine? Um, is that that magazine for bros? No, don't look it up. Don't look it up. Don't look it up. All right.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
So this, this substance, this substance, to try to obtain this substance, my plan was to go on the Nigeria subreddit, try to befriend someone and see if they could purchase me the Oobly fruit. The ooblee fruit is native to West Africa, some parts of Central Africa, and it is a sweet tasting fruit that is not for sale in America in any way, shape or form. Because it's sweet. Dangerous? Illegal?
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Issues? There's a reason for this or? Just not for sale. Just not for sale.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
In this fruit, in this fruit is a substance that has been named brazine because the... I told you, this is worth hijacking this moment for. I can't believe I haven't talked about this. It's from the plant Pentadeplandra brasiana bilon. This fruit from this plant contains a substance that has been named brasine, which is a sweet protein. Hmm, that sounds weird. I know, right? It's super weird.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
A sweet protein that they say, let me pull up the article for brasine. It's found in the extracellular region in the pulp tissue surrounding the seeds with pentadine discovered in 1989. Brazine is the second sweet-tasting protein discovered within the ooblee fruit. Like other sweet proteins, it is extremely sweet compared to commonly used sweeteners, 500 to 2,000 times sweeter than sucrose.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
The fruit tastes sweet to humans and monkeys and bonobos, but gorillas... have mutations in their sweetness receptors so they do not find brazian sweet and are not known to eat the fruit just so you know so i went on a hunt to buy brazian because it's one of the only heat tolerable sweet proteins in existence So you can bake with it, right?
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
So you could make sweet cookies out of a protein that is sweet.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
There's two. So there's pentadine and brazine. I believe brazine is, well, maybe, I don't know. I barely looked this up. Before I started trying to befriend people in Nigeria. But I barely looked it up and I was like, wow. So I bought a kilogram of it. Oh my God. Because I was the smallest.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
But it's just like... My brain doesn't comprehend that because even artificial sweeteners are not proteins. They're just like, you know, chemicals that taste kind of sweet. But, you know, this is a protein, so it actually has calories. It's just that it's sweet. That's weird to me. So I bought it. Did you get it yet? No, it's shipping from China. You know, the fruit from Africa.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I gotta get it in before the tariffs come in, man, or else that brazine's gonna be super expensive.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Yeah, because there's a brand that makes some chocolate about it with it. But those are also expensive. So I was just like, I wonder what it would taste like if I could get some.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
For a rare thing, I think it'll probably come down in price. I'm sure that it'll become more common now that it's been said. And I know that there's probably people that are trying to grow the fruit over here, but I'll be like, hey, send me the seeds. I'll grow them. We'll start an ooblee.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I got dust in my mustache, my beard just white everywhere. Like, oh, you can't take my protein, man.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
And that's why, because like right now, I think that's how I discovered because I'm doing a like mostly protein diet and I'm not really doing carbs. So I was like, I wonder what kind of sweeteners are found this. I'm all about it. Give me that shit. Bought it, paid for it.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Beautiful. Oh, the product code. That's the product code.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Oh, it's the product code. Y-R-B-P-P-E-B-R. It's a product code.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Pentadin. Pentadin and Brazian are both in the Oobly print. They're from that plant. Both of those apparently are promising. I didn't even... I gotta buy some pentadon.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
That's the thing. But that's the thing. That's the lie. That's the lie that perpetuates. Because I had boxer briefs forever because of that lie.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I imagine the age range is going up because it's not like people who played games, gaming habits are, well, they're probably less because they have more responsibilities and other things to do, but they still love it and they have more money now. So, well, usually when you're growing older, you're usually earning a bit more, so you have more disposable income.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
that's in an ideal world in the world that we live in a little bit different, but you know, so they probably are still targeting us. We, we matter.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
So you're really not living up to the name, man. You gotta unfocus. You gotta lock out. You need to leave us some room to explore here.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I mean, finally, you just hosted an episode. I know, but I'm like Thanos getting the infinity sun.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Okay, I lose. Mark's turn. I look forward to the moment that someone tells me that Oobly fruit is going to make my spleen and testicles explode, but it will taste incredibly sweet before then, and I am willing to take that sacrifice and risk it all for the sake of a sweet protein. I looked up the amino acid profile.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Has everything except for tryptophan and threonine, which sounds like a fake amino acid.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Anyway, it's got everything except threonine and tryptophan, and who needs those anyway? So, really cool protein. Almost complete. Almost complete. Just like me.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
But this is like some kind of composite with like some stretchy materials in it and like breathable materials. It's very nice. Whatever this is made of. And it may not have been the same story like 20 some years ago.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Because that's exactly what it was all my life. And then I finally was like, well, I've worn through all of my pants. And now I'm wearing through all of my underwear. I need to get new ones. I was like, I looked up and I literally just was trying to find out what the most comfortable was. And everyone was saying the specific brand that I bought, the brief style of it. So freeing. So underwear-y.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I just bought some because I'm also upgrading all my socks as well. This is, is this the most boring episode ever?
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Okay. So I, again, not sponsored, but I heard recommendation that darn tough socks was pretty good. So I'm ordered from there and they're coming in. Socks are harder because socks need to be very specific. I'm very glad that the ankle sock trend is going away because I've never liked them. I don't like feeling my pants legs rubbing against my ankles.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
I don't like the shoes rubbing against my ankles. I like the coverage. And yeah, I've always been a crude guy.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Yeah, actually, I got a new story. What's the name of the guy who runs like OpenAI? Well, runs OpenAI, Sam Altman or something like that. Wasn't Sam Altman the guy who was at FTX? You're right. Anyway, the same person in my mind.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Anyway, headline, OpenAI continues its mission of, quote, ethical AI by partnering with a killer robot company.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Yeah, and if you want to know about Maybe Ethical, they partnered with Anduril Industries, a defense contractor co-founded by Oculus founder Palmer Luckey. Their mission statement, please cue up the patriotic music. Oh wait, we've got editors. The editor's got this. Mission, transforming defense capabilities with advanced technology. The battlefield has changed.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
How we deter and defend needs to change too. Security threats. You all right there?
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
No, not with Anduril Industries. Security threats are evolving at machine speed. To keep pace, Anduril puts products ahead of process.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
and builds technology to bring the united states and partners quantum leaps ahead in capability i will always want my military equipment products ahead of process way ahead you don't want to worry about researching anything you want to build the the best product you can and get it out there asap also i just want to say i'm an ignorant piece of shit sam altman is the head of open ai sam bankman freed the crypto guy well isn't he in jail or going to jail or something
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Oh, yes. Because according to them, the arsenal we need is an order magnitude more than we can build at present to maintain peace and deter war.
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What's Wrong With Video Games?
Okay, man. Give yourself a point. That was funny now. That was hurt. Now I'm laughing.
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Even More Broken News
I'm here with my U-Haul. I was thinking of getting a forklift, but inevitably I didn't because I was like, I don't think I have a use for it. Now I really wish I did because I would drive my forklift down there and I would go get it. I'm just trying to figure out what part of the airport you go to to pick up your international pallets. I don't know.
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I know that you can rent box trucks, but I just, I haven't had to do that. I've had to rent U-Hauls before, but not this.
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Can you lift, like, are they heavy? Are they so heavy you couldn't just lift it with a dolly? Like, do you need a forklift to move these things? It's 567 total kilograms, so damn near 200 kilograms apiece. That's pretty heavy. The three of us combined could do it, but we'd struggle a lot, especially to give it up.
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I like my fingers. That's how I pat people and say, good boy. I need all five for that. All right. Anyway, that is the small talk round. I just wanted to say that because it's interesting. I still haven't resolved any of my other issues.
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Uh, but today we're going to be going back to old reliable. It's broken news. All right. Whatever the, I probably should have prepared something for that.
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I've been intentionally avoiding the news because it's been super not funny. And I want to read you guys some headlines and talk about these wonderful news stories that are occurring out in the world. So ready. First one. It's a lot of pee, man. Sorry, it's a lot of pee. Man has no idea who is putting gallons of urine in his recycling bin.
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This poor guy's getting piss rained on in his house. I'm just making fun of his name.
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So, Alex Van... How did you say it? Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Said the problem started in September when he noticed his recycling bin had not been collected. So I opened the blue bin, and lo and behold, there was a nice deposit of gallon-sized bottles of urine, to put it plainly, and there were six of them. Then, a following week, there was more urine.
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What seems to be more than one person could possibly produce in the weeks that followed.
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I think it's pretty obvious. Oh, yes. First account from our reporter in the field, Wade, here. So I was interviewing a neighbor by the name of Bill. Bill, do you want to tell us your story? Yeah. Hi, man. Just wanted to let you know. Recycling here, it ain't free. We can't all afford recycling, but the water supply, it's been a bit rough. It's hard to get water.
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So I was talking to some of the other folk and we decided, well, we make liquid, right? And they could probably recycle it, make something good out of it. So I went around with my bucket. I started collecting urine. We put it in some nice sealed containers and we put it in Mr. Dween's bucket. And we're like, oh, they'll come collect the bigger bucket because they'll recycle it. I mean, it's liquid.
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So we're just trying to do some good for the community. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Whatever your name was. Bill. Yes, Mr. Bill. Back to you. Thank you to Wade, reporter Wade, reporting from Portland. Where water is a problem. Yep. And people talk like that. To close out this, he has a message for the mystery man. Might not be a man. Nobody knows. Quote, maybe he's watching. I don't know.
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I mean, this guy's really pissing me off. End quote. Whoa. He's just going to throw in a joke at the end of this. I think he's in on it. I think they're all pissing together and it wasn't collected. So they made it a story. I'm saying this. This is him doing this to get the news people here so he can make that joke at the end. It's all elaborate. He lost a bet.
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And the bet was, can you make the news talking about your urine? And he's like,
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bet well i hope the portland water crisis ends soon so they can stop having to use people's urine yeah it's truly a tragedy out there if only there was a way to process urine in a way that didn't have to go in buckets like if only you could flush it somewhere no way no it's impossible all right i'm going to show you guys a picture before we get to the next one somebody was drunk
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Wade, please describe this picture for everyone who's just listening. Unfortunately, what we're looking at is a really messed up image of the corpse of an old road. You can see the chalk lines where they were drawing where the road had died. And they paved a new road right on top of it, but they redrew the chalk lines to make sure you could see where that old windy road died. Fucker.
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What you're actually seeing... Bob, no, Bob's got this. It takes you way to the field. You're welcome.
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I told you, everybody, this is going to be your least favorite episode. I want to hear about these two gentlemen's life. I can start this time because I... Bob, you hosted an episode not too long ago where we talked about Cincinnati. And you and Mark were agreed on the front of LaRose's Pizza Bad. That made me want LaRose's Pizza again. And I ordered some. I got a large bacon pepperoni.
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What the fuck is this and why is this? It's like the road was too quick to get down. It's like, well, we need to make the road longer. What if we just make them curve around a little bit, make it take longer to get down the road? You got there eventually. Yes, this is a speed measure to try to get people to slow down in their driving. Now, here's the thing. This is in, where is this in?
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This is Pennsylvania. And it's meant to zigzag because you can't, obviously, well, you totally can go fast doing this. And here's the thing. Texas roads are insane. Filming some projects in Austin, like that's not even the worst of it.
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But one of the things in Austin is that there's a lot of bike lanes that become protected bike lanes, suddenly not protected bike lanes, turning into different lanes. So the road kind of does this anyway while you're doing that. Maybe by design, maybe not. Every time I've driven on those, I say to myself... I can't believe they're making me do these maneuvers at speed.
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There's nothing in my head that went slow down. It's just, man, I hope this car can handle these turns. And so I'm sure that's what a lot of drivers are doing. It's just that or they just drive straight through the middle of it.
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Because that sucks. I've got one of the local residents here who apparently has been experiencing other unforeseen issues. Drake Ulysses La.
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That's my line. My bad. That's Drac. Back to you in the studio. Drake Ulysses La. That almost made me vomit. I can't just unleash stuff like that.
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And it was so good. Like one of the best pizzas of all time. I enjoyed every bite. I wanted more. I couldn't get enough of it. And all I can think to myself is how wrong your two's opinion of this was. This must be how you guys feel about me with tacos. Every bite, every smell, every swallow, every bit of that pizza was just so good in my mouth hole and throat cavity. I enjoyed it so much.
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whoa man yeah that might be that might be that might be your dumbest good the vampire oh man next article there's nothing about this article really but i want you to hear the title florida senate race randolph bracy slams sister for running against him in orange county like purpley like they fucked or like that's it okay
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I don't know. I didn't read the article. I'm just looking at the title. What was his name? Rudolph?
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Randolph? Randolph? There's nothing else about it. It's the slams. Are you focusing on the names or anything else in the title?
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Yeah, I've always had a problem with titles of articles where it's always like, X!
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Y! And I'm like, I don't know. It's lost all meaning to me. I think it's silly in this context. But I've never taken anyone insulting anyone who's like, you just slammed them. I just feel bad for Lacey Bracey. It's not her name. I don't know her name, because if I click on this link, this is the most ad-infused, horrifying website of nightmarish proportions you could ever have.
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There's this quote in here. I click it, and it's like, this is a sad day for the Bracey name.
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Whatever. Anyway, moving on. Don't you dare pick out any people to interview. Alright, next one. Police chief defecated in office. Put Viagra in office coffee. Wade?
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There's more to this article than the title reveals, because in the opening paragraph, there's a piece of information that was left out that just adds to the mystery of what happened in North Bergen, New Jersey. A group of North Bergen police officers say their chief defecated in department offices, multiple, stuck a hypodermic needle into an officer's penis. And spiked coffee with Viagra.
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And I want more right now. I've been craving it again ever since. La Rose's is great. Underappreciated. Under the radar. If you're in Cincinnati, try La Rose's. Don't listen to these two.
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Sometimes you don't want to lead off with the fact that you have a needle dick. Was it through pants or not through pants? Because that's not clear. I have no idea. I don't even know. Reading this article feels like I'm reading just AI generated nonsense. I have no idea. Did you say it's Bergen? North Bergen, New Jersey.
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New Jersey, what are we doing? I don't even know if this is real. Okay, Attorney Patrick Toscano of Fairfield has requested in a letter to Attorney General Matt Plattkin dated March 26th that the state take over the police department in Hudson County Town, in the Hudson County Town, Where are we? Fairfield, Hudson County.
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Saying that the officers now fear for their safety, Toscano sent various notices of tort claims. Tort? T-O-R-T?
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Okay, so the accusations and the claims filed on behalf of the various officers range from on-the-job harassment to pranks, quote-unquote, including Chief Robert Farley defecating in offices and on the bathroom floor and leaving it there and chasing one officer around a room and stabbing his penis with a needle and drawing blood.
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The claims also accuse Farley of sending a pride flag and masturbation cream to another officer's home, which his family saw, exposing himself at work at random times, dropping drugs believed to be Viagra and Adderall into coffee. A claim also says one officer's fish were believed to have been poisoned with the drugs. He also placed dangerously hot peppers in the officer's food.
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But everyone seems to... I was talking to our friend Jesse, and Jesse was also like, yeah, I'm not big on it. It's like, how do all of my friends not like the best pizza in Cincinnati? Or at least one of the top three. Those are very different claims. Just sort of throw that out there. I don't know which one's my favorite. I'm not as picky on pizza. I like a lot of pizza.
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is this where the movie super troopers is from or so what actually happened here what actually happened here is it started off as a harmless prank it was two guys making a bet one upping each other kind of like yelling penis to kind of escalate uh unfortunately at one point one officer dared another one to watch all of the saw movie and for some reason when he watched them they really clicked so he came to the office next day and said i want to play a game everyone's like okay what do you want to play and that okay was all he needed to begin his rampage of terror
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You know how that needle ended up in that man's penis? Because he was dropped into a vat of needles, pantsless, having to find a key to get the handcuffs off of himself. Yeah, I don't know. This guy was only appointed chief of police at this place in February of 2024.
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I think they did a wheel spin to figure out who should be police chief and the people on the wheel weren't even actually police officers based on his actions. Anyway, that's what's happening in New Jersey.
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What's their stereotypical... Wade, find someone in the field from New Jersey. Excuse me, Mr. What's your name?
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Great. Thank you. Hey, you asked him to do that. I did. You know, I was just, I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't either. I found the first person I could and that's all I got out of them. The mic broke at his first word. The mic didn't pick up him saying, forget about it. And then it started working. Oh, I'm sorry. This thing might, it's a little bit, a little bit crazy down here.
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Someone was throwing cups of shit around. One of them hit my mic. I had to get a new one from the local radio shack.
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All right, I only got a few more, so we're drying up here. But this one might be, it's about to say relevant. I don't think it's relevant at all. But here we go. Far-right influencers are hosting a $10,000 per person matchmaking weekend to repopulate the earth. Fun. I'm not comfortable making jokes on this one like I have been. Wait, what?
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Here's the craziest part of it. And probably that's probably true. The NATO conference, which costs up to $10,000 to attend, features multiple matchmaking strategy sessions and on-site ministers. So attendees can get married. Mark, I've been out here in the field trying to find some people to interview. Excuse me, miss, what's your name? Sarah. Sarah, can you tell me what you're doing down there?
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So to say which one's my favorite kind of depends on which one I'm craving because I crave different ones at different times. But right now, La Rosa's number one crave. I deduct to the point.
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Yeah, we were told to bury ourselves face down so they can plant the seeds. All right.
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I'll do it for you. Thanks, man. It's sold out. Whoa. According to the website, the sold out natal conference taking place March 28th to 29th. So it already happened at a hotel operated by the University of Texas at Austin has, quote, no political or ideological goal other than a world in which our children can have grandchildren.
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I knew you two would appreciate it, but the audience deserved to know the truth.
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They have the little stickers on their shirts, like, hi, I'm DTF. And then the other one's like, hi, I'm dad. But their shirt says, or soon will be. That's the outfit requirement for attending the convention. People like Richard Pritchard are there working 12 hours a day to make sure that babies are being pumped out at a needed rate. Is that a person? No, I just like the name Dick Pritchard.
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That happened, apparently, so I'm assuming... I can't believe we missed it, you know? Like, isn't resources a thing that we're like, man, how are we going to continue to get resources like fossil fuels and food and all this and that? Why do we need more people?
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So I'm expecting in nine months, there's going to be a population explosion.
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There'll be a convention 20 years. So then it's like, were you conceived in that hotel in Austin? Me too! Brother? Sister? Brother? Brother? The maids walking into the hotel after the session, they're just like... This just in, there are a thousand new jobs at a small hotel in Austin after all of the cleaning employees mysteriously left in the same day.
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I have no clue. There's no information from people that actually went in this article as far as I can see.
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No one came home empty-handed because they all came at the hotel. I'm not going to write anything down for that.
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I'm using my Gatling gun approach to comedy today where I'm just going to keep firing and see what lands. Dude, the points column between the two of you is outrageous just in terms of how much I have written in your column, Wade. But I'm going to tell you, it's not looking good for you in terms of points. I'm okay with that. Man, you got hope for the wheel on this one.
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This is not looking good for you. All right. Anyway, there's only one more left, but I doubt that we have much to say about this one, but I'll read it anyway. Idaho governor signs bill criminalizing public breast exposure and truck nuts. When they came for our breasts, I said nothing.
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And when they came for our truck nuts, because I've only had a truck for a little bit now, but I'm assuming I will get that in the mail at some point. They'll send me my truck nuts.
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I don't know also if this means that you can have your real nuts out.
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Back to you in the studio. Thank you. For those who were just listening, they didn't see Wade's waddle out of that interview. I'm a master of impressions. I see where you went with Idaho and potatoes. Huh? What a weird coincidence.
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I would have thought of it otherwise. Anyway, breastfeeding is exempt, though.
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God, they got the gray hairs, the varicose veins. They're the worst truck nuts. This is the worst episode. I want to delete it right now.
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My, my pizza experience has probably been shifted because I started to appreciate like brick oven pizza. Whereas like when I was growing up, I never would have actually enjoyed that. The thin crust, you know, kind of style, just a margarita pizza.
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All right. Okay. I'm wrapping this one up. We're out of here. We're done.
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hot balls of idaho we're talking to you all right that closes up broken news thank you for attending this news hour uh it's been quite an eventful day i'll start with me i lost a point for not being prepared having my pen that's fair bob you got a good weather point you also got a point for except for tornado subtracted a good boy point uh it's not little it's huge
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snail i think that was yeah they call me saint nicholas uh trolls movie and then can we get some younger truck nuts that's immortalized now i'm starting to see why mark feels bad about this episode Wade, oh, just you wait, Wade. You lost a point for good boy. You lost another point for good boy. Bad, bad, Wade. You gained a point for bad boy. You lost a point for LaRoses.
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You gained a point for bad me. You got a point for Bill? Yeah, Bill. It was the first guy Wade interviewed. You know, Bill. You got a point for McDonald's. You got a point. I gave you a point for Drake Ulysses Law. I gave you a point for that. You should feel really special. I gave you a point for hard shit real. You lost a point for so they could plant the seed. That was a bad one.
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You lost a point. Or Tracy, I think was her name, was under the dirt. You lost a point for good musk. You gained a point for Mr. Head. You lost a point for bad, bad Wade. And yes, I wrote that one down as I was reading the points.
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i'll give all right so i'm gonna add to the wheel there's a similar one on there which was like lowest points i'm gonna put one on there for lost to the most points yes during the episode because that's got to be achieved this has got to be a record you lost that's an easy one because either someone lost points or they didn't so we'll know whether to respin or not very easily on that i'm not even gonna say because i think these i think this could be great guys let me roll my dice
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I wouldn't have gravitated towards, but now that I had, well, the one place that I really like shut down where I was living before, and then I was never able to find it ever again. Not that I've looked, but Every once in a while, you get a good restaurant that does real brick oven pizza, and it's just something about that, that char, because I'm always a char kind of guy. La Rosa's is thin crust.
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i might have peaked at drake ulysses i don't know that i could ever make a joke funnier than that to me mark threw his headphones and ran away yeah that was unbelievable i had to try to maintain composure watching you two fucking lose your shit rolled three on the dice in number one Oh, no. I swear to God.
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That would be impressive. At least I'd be looking at the podium. All right, third spin. Sometimes you just need a new perspective on life.
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You did. Well, you earned many. All right, let's total it up. So I have minus one. The viewers have one. The listeners have one. Bob, you have one, two, minus one. So one, two, three, four, five total points. All right. It's going to be a close one. Wade, you have negative one, negative two, negative one, negative two, negative one, zero, one, two, three, two, one, zero. Two, one, plus laugh.
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I mean, my God, Wade, just comparatively of how much I wrote just for you is astonishing. Congratulations, Bob. You did it. How do you feel?
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I wouldn't call it brick oven pizza. It is thin crust by default. But it's floppy. And you cut it into squares. It's so good.
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Well said. Wade, what do you have to say for yourself? And don't interview anyone. Sorry, boys. Next time. Bob, you were the constant today that we needed. As you said, you were right on the whole time. You were focused. Meanwhile, much like the news, my performance was very up and down, very reflective of a certain hotel in Austin, Texas. I did all I could.
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I tried to plant some seeds early, and I'll see how many of them are bloomed that I'm paying child support for in a few years. All right. There you have it. Thank you, everybody, for listening and or watching to arguably the worst or the best, by sheer average, the most average episode you've ever seen. We done broke the news. It's middle of the road, but the road is curvy as hell.
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Thank you for listening and or watching. Remember to follow these guys at their respective channels, MiceCream and LordMinion777. There is rumblings happening in the merch world, but you know, it's just a tough... It's a tough... Not to crack, and we'll crack it soon. But truck nuts were banned, so... Distractive truck nuts are not coming. Unless... Podcast out.
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That's my small tongue. All right. Well done. You lost a point for it. Bob. Bad. Me. For those who weren't watching, the way Wade just patted his head really added to that. I'm giving you a point back for that.
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Did you see what's coming? It's like... Dude, it's living in LA. Anytime there's a tiny earthquake, it's raced to social media to see... Who posted first, right? Because you'll just see, earthquake, earthquake, earthquake. Was there an earthquake? I think there was an earthquake.
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I don't know if you saw, Bob, this entire week. After today, first alert weather warnings, severe thunderstorms, winds, rain, lightning, flood, all coming.
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that's not that's not that's unsettling we had a weird moment we were not like in a tornado watch we had a weird moment where we were just all of a sudden a tornado warning which means that there is one and it was just like tornado warning and like we're like the sirens aren't going off it's not even that windy yet like weirdly calm right now well it was
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Hello and welcome back to Distractible. My name is Markiplier. I am your host this week because I won last week. But one of these two gentlemen that I'm with is going to be the winner this episode and they will be the host next week. So if you don't like this episode, I'm hurt, but only a little bit.
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I feel like it was just really windy a minute ago. Nothing, I'll go outside. Well, we were like, did we get all the animals into the base? Because normally, you know, the loud sirens go off when it's your turn to go down. But we were like being told, we're like, the wind is crazy, the rain is crazy, tornado. And we like, that says it's us.
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But right now, that's not, it was like 10 minutes later, it started to get crazy. But like, it was just really weird that it was like, are we in it? Did the tornado pick us up? Is this like our we're in Kansas moment?
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And then you leave. What are the odds you're going to open the door and it's going to rip the door off its hinges and you're going to be sucked out? Listen, it's not like an airplane, okay? This might be less problematic. Well, it's probably not less problematic here. I don't know, trees, tree branches, that kind of stuff can do it. There was a news segment yesterday.
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We were at the car dealership for six hours, so we got to see this on repeat. Because they repeated the same four stories just on repeat for six hours. It was awful. You mean the news? Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was Molly just likes watching Weather Channel reruns. She records it, just plays it over again, makes sure she doesn't miss any details. I love this one.
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Even More Broken News
There was a house out in like the rural, some rural part of Ohio, I don't know where it was, but they had like the tornado go through their property, didn't hit their house. But like they walked up to a tree and they have like a metal roof on their barn that got ripped off and they walk up to a tree.
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Even More Broken News
And then next week or later in this week, you'll have another episode that'll be better than this one. And you won't have to hurt my feelings anymore.
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Even More Broken News
There's just this big straight piece of metal that went into the tree and she like tried to yank it out. The thing did not budge at all. And so whenever I was thinking about like, I could just go outside and take a look. I saw that and I was like, I am never going to go outside and take a look.
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Even More Broken News
If this piece of metal can go through a tree like a big solid tree like that just from this wind, what would that do to me? Probably nothing good.
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Even More Broken News
It was some of the most vivid lightning I've ever seen. Like, the lightning strikes... There was like horizontal lightning. I've never seen lightning just go complete. Like I didn't see any of it going like this at one point, but there was just completely horizontal lightning.
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Even More Broken News
So there were vertical bolts, but it was all very like severe because there was like there was a moment where.
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Even More Broken News
you'd see the bolt you'd wait you'd wait you'd wait then the thunder would hit and it was like some of the craziest thunder i've ever experienced and finally when the storm got really close and we had the instant bolt the whole fucking house man shook like it has like it was the biggest bolt i've been a part of i've had some hit close to home where like you your whole house moves there was something about this particular storm where i felt like it was the craziest thunder i've experienced
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Even More Broken News
Seems likely, yeah. One of them is going to have a terrible episode next week. One of them is going to have a great episode. So it's up to them and me to pick who it's going to be. I almost accidentally said the word already. And I don't know what that would have meant. Oh, there's no pen attached to this. Oh, no. Time to write with some ketchup. Mr. I'm ready over here isn't actually ready.
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Even More Broken News
Bob, you actually earned points for your small talk. Good boy. Naughty, naughty storm. Can we just stop the episode? Can we just cancel it?
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Even More Broken News
All right, so I have another thing. So this is not to plug Prusa anymore, but this is about the Prusa shipment. So I said I told everyone before that they've hooked me the fuck up. I didn't know how much because I have the shipping information that it's coming in on and it's three pallets.
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Even More Broken News
jesus christ 567 kilograms of package that they have sent to me right so i did not know this um i did not know i knew it was going to be a lot i didn't know it was that much so that's great and all except i got an email from uh the customs and border patrol like that was just like because whenever you have a shipment that large from international you know It's, it needs to be verified. Yada yada.
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Even More Broken News
I've done that before, but not to this quantity, but I've done that before. So I submit my paperwork. I do all that yada yadas. And then they're like, great. It's ready for pickup. I thought they were going to be concerned. They're like, this guy bought a .22, some greasy bullets, and now he's buying all this international printing? What's he up to? They said, ready for pickup.
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Even More Broken News
And also, we're going to charge you, starting today, $578.14 per day that it's not picked up. That was Friday. Today is Tuesday. Good thing you got that truck, man. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. I chase this down day of, right? I'm like, oh, fuck. And I start making calls and I asked Gavin to make some calls. And so we're back and forth with this.
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Even More Broken News
And I'm like, this was supposed to be delivered to door. That's what I was assured of. And I was like looking at the manifest. I was like, oh, God, because it didn't have the number for the street. Maybe that was a problem because it wasn't on there. I looked and I'm talking. And then what we find out is that, no, they're supposed to still deliver it. And they're just going to coordinate it.
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Even More Broken News
And they just haven't picked it up yet. And my thought is, why haven't they picked it up yet? Because it's costing them $500. They're not being charged $600 a day. It's you, isn't it? Well, how many other packages have they not picked up? Because they do a lot of the shipping. And so I'm just wondering, like, is this just normal for these businesses to run this way? This can't be right.
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Even More Broken News
i don't know who i don't know where it is it just says it's at lax which is very far yeah just go to lax find your pallets back into some loading bay somewhere you just drive across the tarmac you get to the loading bay everything's fine look i have a truck now i can take one pallet And that's it.
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Even More Broken News
So I'm still waiting for that because apparently it's supposed to be delivered, but I'm just fascinated that they're just eating that cost because that is now added up to more than what the entire shipping cost probably was.
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Even More Broken News
But no one's delivering it yet. And I've confirmed this multiple times, but I still got any, I'm still getting the emails. Emails are still coming to me that like this has not been picked up yet. You are now accruing a price. That seems bad. I really hope that no one crossed the wire here and I'm supposed to pick that up because it's getting really expensive really fast.
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Even More Broken News
No, I'm ready. Hold on. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. I'm going to deduct a point for myself for not being ready. Good boy. Yeah, I'm deducting a point for that. I'm sorry. Good boy. There's another one gone. Okay. Bad boy. Oh, you got one back for that. Oh, you bad boy. All right, points for boy is out. Bad girl. Good man. All right, all right. This is a terrible start.
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Even More Broken News
Yeah, that's a lot of money very quickly. You're already five days in. Yes, that's why I wanted to take care of it on Friday. I was like, oh god, we gotta rent a U-Haul truck or something. We gotta go. Where am I gonna get a forklift?
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Three Word Sales Pitch
If you and your friends want peace like we do... We gotta try our new ghost trap!
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Three Word Sales Pitch
Um... Yes, it's utterly pronounced Drake. I do not live in a castle anymore. I have moved my coffin to a peaceful meadow. But people want to come with their wooden stakes and daggers and stab me. But I got one of your dagger-wielding robots, and now I am protected at all times. Ah, ah, ah.
Distractible
September 10th
Anywho, we're going to move on to the episode. This is having a profound impact on the world. This podcast is just shaking the foundation of the earth. In fact, we're so influential, we cannot be contained to this timeline. I want you to, to open up your minds to magical possibilities, the likes of which you have never seen before.
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September 10th
And then once you're done imagining that, sorry, Bob, I shouldn't have phrased it that way. I want you to sing the song of infinity inside your mind. Out loud? He said inside your mind. Oh, okay. I did say that, yeah. Now, stop that because it has nothing to do with what we're about to do. Step inside my time machine. Inside our mind, or? No, this is real. I have a, imagine, no, don't imagine.
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September 10th
It's just off screen. It's just off screen. Trust me. It's there. Yeah, there he goes. Yep, step in. Wade, get in. Wait, get in. Get in the time machine. All right, cool. Thank you. I guess you can take the chair, sure.
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September 10th
No, no, you don't get a chair. All right, we're all going in the time machine.
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September 10th
It's a little chaotic, but I made the inside of the time machine look exactly like all of our... It's like a TARDIS or something? Yeah, yeah, and there's plenty of room in here for all kinds of activities. So, while we're traveling through time, I'm going to explain what we're going to do. We're going to fuck shit up, but maybe in a good way. You two, I'm going to task you...
Distractible
September 10th
With going out there and wherever we end up, we'll find out once it lands us wherever we go. And I'm tasking you, two, to go out there and make the most profound change of the timeline. It could be whatever you want. It could be whatever you think would be best. And then I'll make a judgment of who made the most profound change and award a point. Both are still gonna happen.
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September 10th
You're still gonna do those things. And then one of you, I will decide which one made the most profound change. And then we'll get back in it. And hey, I'll let you even take one item from that timeline to bring into the time machine, and you can use that in the future if you want. Ooh. Okay. All right. Everyone understand? Yes.
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September 10th
It's kind of random. I'm just going to look at the screen and read off of the numbers and the places. I didn't decide beforehand. It's just where we end up. I don't know.
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September 10th
2001, New York City, September 10th. Okay. Ooh. All right, door's open. Who wants to go first?
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September 10th
I think that would cause quite a ripple. But seriously, we need to get the fuck out of town once this starts happening. Well, you wait there. You wait.
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September 10th
It's just the machine. I didn't pick it. This is what happened. I think maybe we should spend some more time under the hood of this machine. All right. Well, I'll try to tweak it, but I think you guys should get back in. What item did you grab on the way back in?
Distractible
September 10th
We're almost there, though. It's almost springtime here in L.A. It's some this is actually some of the most beautiful weather because after the rain start, you know, it pushes a lot of the any kind of pollutants out of the air, makes the air really clear and nice. So you get a great view of it.
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September 10th
A blockbuster card. Okay. Blockbuster card. Yep. Sure. Bob, what did you get? I grabbed...
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September 10th
one box of blockbuster cards wade slips in the door with his one blockbuster cards like hey a souvenir bob waddles in with a palette like as many giant boxes of pokemon cards mint condition original press pokemon cards and then wade you look at him with a lot of jealousy in your eyes
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September 10th
All right, so we slam the door. I'm going to tell you who made the most effect at the end when we get back to the normal timeline. Oh, okay. All right, so I'm going to... We're going again. Oh, whoa! Editors, make this... Oh! Just me? Just me, you guys? Me by myself.
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September 10th
Oh, all right. Okay, I got it. Oh, ah, ah, interesting. Okay, we're way in the past now. This is what I was hoping for. Oh, thank God. We're 79 CE, which is Common Era. We're in Pompeii. Well, I only know two eras. Which one is that? Common Era, CE. Is that B, C, or A, D? No, it's C-E. Oh, boy. Okay. You'll have to figure it out for yourself. Look, this machine, I don't know. I don't get it.
Distractible
September 10th
The horizon distance and the weather is really nice because it's just, you know, usually hovers between like 50 and 80, you know, goes right around there. So that's why people love California for the winters, because the winters really are mild, except for that period where fires can explode. That that's a fun winter surprise.
Distractible
September 10th
Oh, okay. So that hasn't happened yet. Yeah, yeah. It looks not ashy. It looks nice. I open the door and I'm like, oh, there's a whole bunch of people milling about. Kind of looking at it as funny, but not that funny. Well, a little funny. All right. So Bob, you went first. So Wade, you'll run out there first to alter the time screen. And you have a blockbuster card.
Distractible
September 10th
And we look like ourselves, right? You can take clothes from this era if you really wanted to, I guess. But you'd have to wait until next time.
Distractible
September 10th
You forgot to bring it. No cell phones allowed. The time stream blew up all cell phones. I specifically meant you couldn't bring anything from the first place that we went. I'm retroactively making that true.
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September 10th
Alright, so you grabbed an armful of Pompeii Library documents. You screamed that... What'd you scream?
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September 10th
All right, okay, all right. Quite eventful. Sprint in, sprint out. Bob? All right, I'm thinking ahead on this one.
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September 10th
But I was in Cincinnati last week and I noticed something when I got off the plane and we were driving out from the airport. It looked like someone turned the saturation down on the world.
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September 10th
everything was gray and i forgot just how gray it was in the winter in cincinnati it's just it's it was gray everything was no color the grass was all you know grayed out the trees no leaves the clouds were gray the road was gray everything was gray Yeah, it does that. Because I know Cincinnati is beautiful in the spring and summer and the fall and the colors.
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September 10th
Ow! Why does this one hurt? I think we're going even farther back. We're going so far back. Maybe even too far. Maybe so far back we'll never come back. Wah! Goo goo! Oh shit, what the fuck is happening to Wade?
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September 10th
Okay, we've landed. 65 million years ago? This can't be real. This can't be real. Wait a minute. Oh no. We're on the Yucatan Peninsula. On September 10th.
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September 10th
Oh, man. All right. So, wow. This is crazy. It's so prehistoric out there. Well, good thing you guys, well, I guess you don't have anything to defend yourself with. But get out there. Change the time stream. Bob, you're up. Go get him.
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September 10th
What do we got like dinosaurs out here and stuff? Yeah, yeah. They're all looking at you funny, but they're also looking up at the sky kind of like going on there.
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September 10th
A lot of them are kind of like weirded out by this strange thing that just appeared and we made a lot of noise and then like, just like a gush of fluid came out of it, like real sticky goo. But all of them are kind of at a distance looking at you funny. It's mostly herbivores there. It's like a herd of, um, the dinosaur of this era.
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September 10th
We got space in the time machine, right? Yeah, yeah. There's some space in there. It's kind of bigger on the inside situation. It's not unlimited or anything, but there's space.
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September 10th
Oh, wow. That's adorable. Oh, so it's both your item and this is how you're going to affect the time stream? Yeah, that's what I'm going with. All right, so you kidnapped an angliosaurus. Okay, gotcha. All right, cool. Wow, that was well done. Wade, go ahead. Get out there. I give you a slap on the ass on the way out. Slap.
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September 10th
And then I forgot that's why people hate winter in the Northeast is because it gets real drab.
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September 10th
Very high. Extremely high. So many of these plants, the human body has never adapted to even touch them. The protein interfaces mostly don't interact, but some of them, incredibly, incredibly itchy. So I'm not going to say he's dying or anything, but Wade, you are now itchy unbelievably. You are prehistorically itchy.
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September 10th
I hate to say this, guys, but that meteor is about to hit, so we should probably go.
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September 10th
No, yeah, we're gonna go. Ka-chunk. That one made me shit my pants. Well, this is interesting. 2560 BCE. That's before Common Era. Egypt. Giza. Weirdly, September 10th again. Oh, you guys, are you looking up what happened on that day? Oh, you don't know what happened in this time? No. Yes. I told you I know about the BC era. We have a computer in our time machine.
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September 10th
And if they don't. Party. It's funny. I was driving on 75 and I remember when I first started driving. Oh, so many years ago that there was construction on 75 and I was so it felt like coming home when I drove up 75 and the same lanes that have been closed. It's the same construction. Someone is getting paid bank. They're making so much money and no one is checking on him. No one.
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September 10th
I'm going to ban that from now on. After this one, you're not allowed to look up what happened on this day, all right? You just have to guess.
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September 10th
Here, I'll swing open the door. I swing open the door. There's a beautiful, pristine, glistening white, gigantic pyramid. And at the top is a golden mini pyramid at the top. It's glorious. There's a whole crowd of people around it. They're all cheering and celebrating. You kind of understand a little bit of ancient Egyptian, so you know that they're going, We did it. We did it.
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September 10th
And then, you know, they're asking a lot of that. Interesting. Wade, you're up. Please don't fuck anything or anyone. That's incredibly short-sighted of you. No, yeah, you can do whatever you want. Thank you.
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September 10th
What the fuck do you bring back? Hold on. You gotta wait. You gotta wait for their response.
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September 10th
and then all right so you stand there you shout uh in a language that they don't understand because you understand a little of them they don't understand anything you're talking about and they look at you funny and they're like they're all looking up at you because they're very short apparently and they start to call for like the the the guy in the corner with a whip hey baddie daddy to dami mami in egypt that's fine but where's the aliens
Distractible
September 10th
All right, okay. I'll come back to you in a minute. All right, so Bob Wade's out there. He's about to get flogged, and he's screaming, raving, holding his card up to the sky. You don't have to interact with him at all.
Distractible
September 10th
All right. I kneel before the fair chair. He is extremely old. Looks like he's about at the end of his life. And he was gazing wistfully at the giant pyramid. Like, oh, but Egyptian, you know.
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September 10th
cat god alien and so then i'm in charge now and i assume control of the whole situation okay cool are they do i have to wait are they on board with this yeah i think they are because they did notice a giant uh machine that appeared out of nowhere all of them did notice that or some of them nearby and the giant gush of goo that comes out whenever we land from spacetime
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, and they really noticed when Wade ran out there and started screaming at the top of his lungs. So they really... It drew a lot of eyeballs. And so by the time you walk down, they see two almost equal height giants. And they've never even seen anyone of your height, ever. They allow you in the throne room. You do talk to the guy. Your broken Egyptian is a little faulty.
Distractible
September 10th
Doesn't get the full message through, but you are welcomed with open arms in the kingdom. And they don't quite make you ruler yet, but... You're now right next to the Pharaoh. You're 100% on board, can probably influence them whichever way you want.
Distractible
September 10th
He believes me. He does. Over time, you wear him down. Meanwhile, Wade is getting flogged the entire time. We're here for a while, I guess. So, you know, there's no immediate explosion.
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September 10th
And so slavery is abolished. Before anything can happen, that pharaoh croaks because he was very old. So he actually died almost two days after the pyramid was completed.
Distractible
September 10th
But your message was heard and he enacted some policy. Wade said the word.
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September 10th
Mark was writing something down there. Oh, I was trying to remember what the steps that Bob even took while I was saying all that, but I was saying that he died. Was his death unfair to you? He enacted policies. He enacted policies to start against slavery. You think that's unfair?
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September 10th
It sure is, but I think, yeah, I think, yeah, we'll figure it out if it lands on that. All right, my coin is the lady has heads, the lion...
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September 10th
All right, so it carries on as was. Tim Allen whispering in, he dies, but he enacts some policies. You won't know what the effect is, but it got the conversation started because honestly, they hadn't even considered it.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah. No, there were no aliens. In fact, we were the aliens. Most likely, neither of you actually did as much as just the time machine appearing. But I'm only going to count with what you guys got. Bob, what'd you get?
Distractible
September 10th
So he's probably fine. All right. That sounds good. I think. Okay, all right, hop in boys. I think we only have time. For one more time.
Distractible
September 10th
Strange things occurring here in this one. 1776, Philadelphia. July 3rd. The only not September 10th that we landed on. I think I finally worked out the bug on that one. We open the doors and you see the early building that looks real fancy. Not quite like Capitol Hill, but kind of a little bit. It looks, you know, like nice. Looks like a government building.
Distractible
September 10th
You know, there's a lot of parks, horse-drawn carriages, people in twill suits, and other people in rags.
Distractible
September 10th
Well, see the thing about Cincinnati that I forgot, because if you look up Cincinnati population on any website, it says like, you know, 300 to 400,000. And that's what I've always thought. And it's like, Oh, Cincinnati, it's not that big a city. That's just like the Metro though, right? Yeah. I forgot that the Cincinnati area is like two to two and a half million people. And it's like, Oh wow.
Distractible
September 10th
They were already thinking about it. You thought they were whispering that we didn't think through the second amendment, what they really were thinking of like, man, this is a fucking weirdo. We got to get back to signing this declaration.
Distractible
September 10th
gloss over some of the stuff that'll get fixed i guess but you know there's some there's some adjustments we need to make here's my blockbuster card you guys come up with a filibuster let me tell you this one it's even bigger okay so they're listening to you uh and they're going uh-huh uh-huh but benjamin franklin does approach you and he takes that card and he looks at it really closely and he rubs it between his fingers and he's like how did you make this future go on
Distractible
September 10th
Oh, good thing it wasn't your objective to have the most profound change on the timeline. Don't eat it. I wasn't going to. There's this whole micro thing, real small.
Distractible
September 10th
I'm going to have this. He tucks it in his pocket. Man, Ben Franklin's kind of a klepto. Ben's like you. He liked to take things and he liked to sleep with a lot of.
Distractible
September 10th
My kite was stolen this morning. I don't want to talk to you. Well, I take your glasses and I run. Okay, you quickly snatch them off his face and you run as fast as you can.
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September 10th
You might have made it. You might have reinforced it, at least, or caused them to think it again.
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September 10th
That's so many more than I think. And it's been growing. So yeah, traffic has been getting much worse over there because there's no Metro at all.
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September 10th
Uh... No. Well, that's unfair! Too late, man. Too late. You only get one? We got so much to get through, no time to get- Is that a rule? Get in! Get in! It's almost out of power! We gotta get back to our time!
Distractible
September 10th
Dive! Dive! Actually, there was plenty of power. There was no reason to panic at all.
Distractible
September 10th
No. And then we're back. All right. So you step out to a brand new world. And let me tell you, it's not that different. Shockingly, very little has changed. All the bomb threats did prevent people from being in the buildings during the attack. But the Pentagon was still hit.
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September 10th
Yeah, so the odd thing is conspiracy theories are dramatically on the rise because all the bomb threats before did clear it out.
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September 10th
And there was a crazy man on the news, very small side story, but there was a crazy man that was unearthed after like some old archives got picked up of news stories that they saw security camera footage of some tall bald guy going in there screaming about how there was going to be an attack the next day. And then there was. So that was evidence compounding.
Distractible
September 10th
So conspiracy theory about September 10th, which they call it now, is really, really way higher than it is even today. And so people were more suspicious of, you know, the actions, but George Bush still, you know, war in the Middle East.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, slight differences, but, you know, you, Wade, you're famous now because people see you now and know you from your tape because it wasn't that long ago.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, you also notice that there's a suspiciously higher proportion of people that are bald and slightly taller.
Distractible
September 10th
It's not that much, but the average height has gone up by like half an inch across the board. And that's driven by more people that are six foot four and bald.
Distractible
September 10th
Also, the slave rebellion in Egypt, it happened anyway, but it was slightly less bloodshed, I think. I'm not 100% sure how those events turned out, but that was pretty decent. Because the meteor was going to hit anyway, it wiped out any evidence or any bacteria or any effect that we would have had that far in the past.
Distractible
September 10th
uh kind of sanitized everything so really we didn't have that there wasn't even a chance for wind from a butterfly's wings to even spread far enough uh to cause another ripple effect that that meteor kind of just it was a canon event there's one less dinosaur a few less eggs they're gonna be turned into dust
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah. It's interesting because you still have a dinosaur and you still have eggs and that's going to change some things in the future. So that is interesting. Bob, you want to open Jurassic Park? Build it and they will come.
Distractible
September 10th
There is something interesting. Microplastics are so much higher in everyone's bodies because by Ben Franklin stealing your card, he was so curious about it that he started the industrial revolution slightly before it would have happened because they found oil and he started turning it into plastics way sooner. There's so much more plastic waste in the ocean.
Distractible
September 10th
There's so much more plastic waste in the world around us. And everyone has not just a credit cards about a plastic in their brain. They have about 10 blockbuster cards.
Distractible
September 10th
But the Second Amendment is curiously changed from bear arms to have weapons. And that has thrown some weird legal loopholes into how people treat the Second Amendment. But people are still very, very much protective of their right to have weapons. The definition of which is debated throughout the rest of time.
Distractible
September 10th
Like, I don't know what they did. they rebuilt the whole highway two street lengths over and then they tore it all down and rebuild it over this way. And I remember they were cutting into a hill to do something there. And then I just see supports along that hill, no road just, and then it's moving again and cut down these lanes, open those lanes. It's very, very, someone should check in on that.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, that's pretty nuts. Side effect, Hugh Glass, famous frontiersman, trapper, trader, hunter, and explorer, was not as famous as he was back then because he was not mauled by a grizzly bear. Ooh. Yeah, so he's not well known for his mauling of a grizzly bear.
Distractible
September 10th
No, it was actually melted by the lava. All right. But some people who left Pompeii that day just so happened to be your partners in that spread your genes.
Distractible
September 10th
That's true. That's true. Let me see something. I want to see how what the effect of the lava had on wall carvings. Okay. No? Yeah, there were still plenty. Okay, so that definitely did survive. There still was a Third Reich. It just was not called Nazis. Let's call them, oh, Shotzi's. They're called Nazis.
Distractible
September 10th
But yeah, it turns out that Hitler and his, you know, being in World War, World War One still happened because Nazism wasn't even a thing. And largely the events of World War Two were more driven by the events of World War One and putting Germany into a, you know, an economically vulnerable and politically unstable time period.
Distractible
September 10th
He's probably right. I mean, it does, yeah, I would say it kind of leaked from one to another. So, hey, but that was pretty good. I have to say, the biggest change that I notice is Wade introducing his genes into the gene pool far sooner than it ever should have, so he had a profound effect on the average height in the world and more baldness in history. Ooh. So that was cool.
Distractible
September 10th
And you guys bringing dinosaurs to the future, that's going to be really weird.
Distractible
September 10th
Except they die instantly because their immune systems aren't ready for the bacteria and viruses of this era. 65 millions of lost evolution in their immune systems developing means they pretty much keel over within a few days frothing at the mouth. But their carcasses are still very valuable for science. So that's cool. But that angiosaurus dies in your arms, Bob.
Distractible
September 10th
You're cradling its head, you know, kind of like, unless its head is also huge. Well, its head is like the size of a small vehicle.
Distractible
September 10th
You're rubbing it while it's dying on the ground. It's very beautiful, but very sad. Wade, your eggs turn to mush inside the shells. What happens to like the seeds and the plants and stuff? They also turn to mush.
Distractible
September 10th
You think we should go get looked at? It's fine. All right, I gave points for Bob for having all the bomb threats. That was definitely the most significant of that time period. Wade, you had the most significant of Pompeii for the tiny last minute addition of had fun in the sheets. Everything else, no effect.
Distractible
September 10th
Oh. Yeah, so there was still people traveling in and out. I'm assuming at least one of them made it out. But right back to Bob with the Pharaoh business, that was definitely a more profound change. What, they're getting flogged for a month? What do you mean? And then the dinosaurs, I was going to call that a wash just because generally didn't do too much.
Distractible
September 10th
But I think maybe if we're going by impact, Bob bringing back a dinosaur was probably better than some eggs and some pine cones. So maybe I'll give him that one. Ha! And then, Wade, you, by giving Ben Franklin the Blockbuster card. I did not. The fucking Klepto stole it. Well, okay. All right, then. So congratulations, guys. You didn't actually mess up that much at all.
Distractible
September 10th
I don't think too much was changed for the good, but not that much was changed for the bad. And you guys did really good. That's surprising.
Distractible
September 10th
All right. So wait, you got a point for traffic. You got a point for it's a fucking thing. You got a point for had some fun in the sheets in Pompeii. You know, some points for founding father. Oh, Ben Franklin stealing your blockbuster card. And that's it. Okay. Bob, you got a point for seahorse to land horse to pegasus. You got a point for, uh, all the bomb threats possible.
Distractible
September 10th
You got a point for, uh, pharaoh outfit. Oh, no, sorry, the pharaoh. The, the slavery affecting. And then... Was that it? Oh, no, wait. No, the dinosaur one. That's right. I forgot. And a point for a dinosaur one, which if you read the scoreboard, it's four to four. Hey, one man show. Nope. One man show. We have another wheel. We have the bonus wheel to spin. Thank God. Unless it lands on two.
Distractible
September 10th
And I'm rolling. It's really rolling. Oh, I have to hit stop. Oh, sorry.
Distractible
September 10th
I was like, the anticipation was building so much. All right. Stop. Two? Two. All right. Uh-oh. It's fine. It's fine. Oh, what do you want to add to the wheel, Mark? You get to add a thing. Oh, what should we do? There's so many things that happened. It doesn't have to be related to the episode. Yeah, but it could be. Oh, I got whoever said fuck the most.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, I was laughing at Wade a lot just because of his ridiculousness. I think the it's a fucking thing made me laugh really hard. Yeah, that might be the bigger one. I feel like it goes to Wade. I won't argue. Okay.
Distractible
September 10th
Well, not train, not trains. We don't like trains. Trains, bad. In fact, never maintain those rails. Ever. Right, guys? Right? Old strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him. Well, you know, I don't see too many railroads being built. You'd think that with all those highways they would build, they would build, you know, I don't know, high-speed rail? No, Mark, listen.
Distractible
September 10th
Oh no, does that mean that Mark gets it or is it between me and Wade? I think it's between you and Wade, but either way, the result I think is the same. Does that mean we both get a point or we don't get any points? No, Wade got one point for biggest laugh. And then if we go by shortest being me, it would be me. Or if we go by shortest being the two of you, I think Wade is half an inch.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah. I think I remember on the tour, you guys were back-to-back and measured, and it was like by this... Then again, my perspective was so low, I don't know...
Distractible
September 10th
I think we could say one per episode. Yeah, let's just do one per episode. I think that's okay. One per episode. That's fine.
Distractible
September 10th
We went on quite an adventure, Wade. You had the most profound effect on Gene Pool, and all of your other actions had nothing to do with anything.
Distractible
September 10th
It was a lever. Yeah, it was clearly a lever. It was heavy, too. It was a heavy lever.
Distractible
September 10th
I get more leverage because my arms aren't as long as yours, so I have more advantageous attachments to my bones. So, ha ha ha ha. Sure. Anyway, a terrible winner speech. Probably the worst one we've ever had. Bob, loser speech.
Distractible
September 10th
Thank you everybody so much for living with this for the rest of your life. Can't wait to see what the future is going to bring with all the changes that have occurred. They were very real and they're very true. Uh, so carry that with you forever and ever and ever and ever like a scar.
Distractible
September 10th
Horses just pull you. The horses can walk. I know they're mostly aquatic, but they're actually very strong on land. Don't know if you knew that.
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, most do, most do. But, you know, they're actually, it's just different life cycles of the horse. Originally, you know, they start out in the water and then they move to the land.
Distractible
September 10th
yeah basically i'm not gonna get into the episode yet because i want to talk about something that funny that was on the subreddit i've pissed off many people with my random hobbies and talking about shit that i don't know uh before never has there been as much protest against me pursuing a new hobby than the cnc people oh are you getting a lot of pushback wait really yeah i thought for sure it was the 22 people
Distractible
September 10th
That's fun. Either way, I'm not mad about it because it's funny to me. But okay, side tangent. Did any of you know that other definition of CNC?
Distractible
September 10th
Hardcore! Hardcore watchers, gentle listeners, welcome to Distractible. Today is another great day for another great episode hosted by me, Markiplier, who miraculously won because I knew to check under the eyelids. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you gotta listen to last week's episode or watch it if you're hardcore. 🎵 If you want easy mode, just listen to it.
Distractible
September 10th
But the crazy thing to me is every comment agreed. I didn't find a single comment that said, I didn't think of that. Is everyone just a freak out there? And why? Why is everyone a freak? Why is our fan base 100% freak?
Distractible
September 10th
I don't know. I know we're pretty extreme fellas, and we live a very adventurous... It's a fucking thing?
Distractible
September 10th
Yeah, that's why they found it funny. But honestly, for two episodes, for two entire episodes, none of us knew what you guys were thinking. So, yeah.
Distractible
September 10th
so weird about 3d printing and machines and all that they were just like oh man look at the kind of weird sex toys they're using no bad wrong not you the audience no bad wrong Anyway, so I'm no longer into CNC anymore. It's not because I got scared off from it, but it's because I realized what you could do with SLA resin printing molds and pouring metal into those molds to get extreme detail.
Distractible
September 10th
there's burn away resins that you can print SLA printing is the liquid resin not the solid filament and you can get certain resins that when it cures it turns into like it has a lot of wax in it or a waxy like substance as far as I I know.
Distractible
September 10th
And then when you put it into a mold and you cast the mold in a kiln, it literally burns away the resin, creates probably not great fumes, and you need to ventilate that properly. But then it's a perfect mold of that shape, and you can pour liquid metal into that, and then you have a metal part. A forged metal part. A forged metal part.
Distractible
September 10th
Cast metal part, whatever the difference between that is. So, hey, I'm going to get a large induction metal melting machine that's going to definitely not explode me in a fireball of death. And I'm going to start pouring random metals into random holes. Can't wait.
Distractible
September 10th
But I won that round, and so that means I get to host this episode, and I get to subject my friends, Bob and Wade, to my whims and my whimsies. Say hi, guys.
Distractible
September 10th
Now we get to hear Mark go on and on about metallurgy. There's been a globbersault update, but I'm going to hold it off until another episode.
Distractible
September 10th
Is that the joke you've been going for this whole time? Yes. I don't care if it's bad or doesn't get me points. I'm proud of it. Persistence pays off. I'm not going to give you a point for that, but that's pretty good.
Distractible
September 10th
No, libraries are great. Everyone should have a library card. And I'm a hypocrite because I haven't gone to any of the Los Angeles libraries, but it's something that should be supported. And there's a reason why companies want to lock down everything because libraries are like a hub of information and knowledge sharing. And that's supposed to be That's supposed to be a cornerstone of society.
Distractible
September 10th
Libraries are such a wonderful resource and anything to try to defund it is stupid and bad and dumb and wrong. And it should be because the economic impact of libraries on the communities. I didn't even know about the 3D printing stuff. That's awesome.
Distractible
September 10th
But the economic impact of libraries on people being able to go there and get all the information they need, any book they need, renting DVDs, games, even filing taxes, applying for jobs.
Distractible
September 10th
I'm not sure how much the vote matters in Ohio, considering I saw that there was a vote that passed that legalized weed and then state legislators were like, no.
Distractible
September 10th
You earned it, and we deserve it. That's fair. That's fair. How are you guys doing this fine, fine Tuesday?
Distractible
September 10th
Well, it's good that it's contained to one state. Yeah, thank God no other states are designed like ours. I miss Ohio, but something's about it I feel like. But if you're listening to this and you're a resident of Ohio, hey, you can always vote them out. Whoever they are that are making shit up and making it worse, you can always vote them out. So that's probably what they're counting on.
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I wouldn't be surprised. You're just jealous because I can picture an apple rotating in my head.
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I just see this image of Shadowhair on a segue, and I'm like, oh, hell yeah.
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I don't know. Ecliptico, I kind of want to know. You know, Tyler's handle is Apocalypto. Ecliptico.
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No, no, no, no, no, no. You know, it's not, it's not worth it. Oh, okay. Go on. No, no, no. It's just there was an article talking about if humans could fly, how big would our wings be? And I'm like, that might be interesting. And then I'm like, that's kind of dumb.
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That's if they weigh 150 pounds at five feet, they need 20 feet of wingspan.
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So McDonald's needs to take their sign that says billions and billions served. And now that they know that one person is destroying the average, they got to go down to millions and millions again.
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Listen, I think that this is one small price to pay for the glorious progress that Windows and Microsoft as a company is pushing onto the world. The versions of Windows just get better and better. Yeah, a few files might get lost here and there, but honestly, did you deserve them?
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,,, I've tried to use one. It didn't work as I was thinking. And the dryer didn't dry anything, but I'm guessing you could just manually dry. That's what the toilet paper is for then, right? I suppose.
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But aren't you worried about the water pressure suddenly spiking and you get water jet cut in half?
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I've never actually played it too much myself. I played the original Hitman 47 and it was not a funny game at all. But nowadays, I love the direction they've taken because it's an extremely funny game now. Because there's this time where Agent 47 is outside of a window and the guy's like, What's that, Doc? Oh, my cancer's gone!
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to the rocks below i just think it's really funny and i'm glad they took that because it's such a strange idea of a game but anyway hey 47 hero by night killer bidet that's good any more news you all have There's no news out there. What are you talking about? I bought a knife sharpening kit.
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Oh, you'd think that. I hope so. I told you, I'm going to make people really mad really fast.
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This product contains magnets, which may affect pacemakers or other similar implanted devices. There's something in here. What are you? Oh, a scroll. Oh.
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Sorry, everybody. You don't need to be mad at me anymore. I already know the answers. We witnessed history together. This was something special.
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My hands are oily now. Also, the oil I have, I don't think is... I couldn't find blade oil.
Distractible
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Yeah. It lubricates, cleans, protects, penetrates, and bonds, reduces friction and wear. So that's probably good for sharpening.
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The seed gets sowed. And I, with my truck, many things can tow. I have two elbows. And I want you all to know, I'm grateful for the blow. It's a special kind of snow.
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Exactly. Now you're getting it. Now you're thinking with AI. Speaking of AI, did you guys see how the entire AI industry is all kinds of, because that one Chinese startup?
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Yeah, and it's funny because if you read their data on how they made it, and I don't fully understand it all that well, but they were using a different programming language besides Python, and it was a more lower-level language closer to assembly for their programming, which is probably more efficient. But again, I'm speaking from a place of inexperience.
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I don't know if that has much to do with it. But the way they did their reinforcement training, was very simple and made a lot of sense instead of taking every data in the world and just going, it'll fit!
Distractible
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Yeah, kind of that from my understanding, given that most of the neural networks that I've seen examples of are like one and a half pages of programming, you know, something in the order of 50 lines of code.
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And if it's got basically a key logger in the program, who knows what it could do?
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You know what's even weirder is the resurgence of, instead of fearing clowns, there's like this subset of the internet that is starting to become attracted to clowns. What? Have you seen this?
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Coolrophilia is a paraphilia towards clowns. There's an associated subculture dedicated to it, and coolrophilia may intersect with coolrophobia, the fear of clowns. Now, the reason that made me think of that is because before I deleted TikTok, there were several clown TikTok people. Clowns. There were several clowns. Now they're on OnlyHonks.
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Now you're talking. Now you're talking. And I was reading some discussion about this on Reddit, and there was a thread that was discussing that the rise in that coincided with the first It, and when Pennywise first appeared as the new Pennywise. You know what I mean? Bill Skarsgård, yeah.
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That'll help. That will never protect you. Okay, wait. How to pronounce... Okay, there's a YouTube video. There you go.
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WordPad Broke
So you're predicting, you're estimating your poor performance in the future, right?
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The Cost Is Correct
That middle part doesn't seem like it's necessary. I'll see you past the time. That would also make sense why two does work, because that probably means that two but not three of them tucks right under the power, potentially. I don't know. Would it pop the breaker, though? Or would you just have weird malfunctioning stuff because you'd be starving something for power?
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The Cost Is Correct
I don't know how that works with electricity. I don't know. Anyway, Mark's probably white. Mark's probably white, Wade. What? Excuse me? Mark's probably white. I knew it. You should plug your monitors in somewhere else. I will try that. The power's been mentioned.
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Have you ever happened to notice, does it happen when they're like, there's a lot of shit happening, so the monitors might be operating at peak something?
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no the first time it happened i literally launched a game from steam i launched i launched once human and then one of them went off and never came back on after that no it's just literally i'll turn my computer on and then only two of the monitors will work or if the monitors go to sleep shake my little mouse and then only two come back on and i'll go into like nvidia control or display it's like only two monitors detected well there's a third one plugged in to identify nope that doesn't exist sounds like you might not have enough power
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The Cost Is Correct
this is unrelated to anything but i really want someone to make a computer mouse that makes the noises that the rat from rat shaker makes every time you move it you could just have it in the background as you do anything in there I can't believe you voiced that character without even telling us you were going to be in the game, Mark.
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I thought a lot of people were like, oh, this sounds just like you. I was like, that's Takahata. I swore. He even DM'd me afterwards. I was like, I thought it was me too, and I forgot that I did something.
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yeah i watched um i watched uh the dbz abridged with like the creator director's cut or whatever it was where they did commentary yeah yeah yeah well good small talk everybody help us I have an episode. Mark, your last episode idea gave me another, a new episode idea. Bob's hyper fixation. Kind of.
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The Cost Is Correct
Penthouse magazine still exists and is available in both print and digital formats apparently. So it does still exist. I don't know if you guys remember back in the torrenting days, but I had a program called Kazaa. Oh, I've never heard of this. There's a radio station.
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This is really sort of, this is a hyper fixation, but I want to talk about this because I think it's weird and not in a judgmental way because you can like whatever you want and I certainly wouldn't begrudge anyone. I just think it's weird how much people are willing to spend on this. Today I want to talk about celebrity memorabilia.
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The Cost Is Correct
Lots of, I don't know about lots, some people are willing to spend untold amounts of money on things like one of Lady Gaga's broken acrylic nails from her Born This Way tour and so on. And like, I get that people collect things and maybe you love a celebrity. Is there a celebrity for you guys where you're like, oh, if I just had like their autograph, oh, that'd be cool. I'd love to have that.
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The Cost Is Correct
Wait, it's where your laugh finally happened. It's just like pure Dr. Evil. Now somehow it's less. No, it's less now. That fucked my sinuses up though. Something is horribly wrong inside my head now. You should get that deviated septum fixed. That's what you need to do. Ah, surgery. Who needs it? Molly had that. She's in pain. I don't want that. Molly had that. Didn't fix nothing.
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The Cost Is Correct
This is not a thing that I particularly understand either. But like I said, collect what you want to collect. Lots of people collect things that are not interesting to me. Even Shakira, man. It's like, I wouldn't. What would I do with it? I remember there's like the Weird Al eBay song where it's like Shatner's old toupee I found on eBay. And it's like, why would you want? What do you do with that?
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I don't know. But what I do want to talk about more particularly now that I know you guys are both experts on this topic is I want to play the game of the price is right fish on celebrity memorabilia that has sold. But we're going to do it. We're going to do it as like a back and forth.
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The Cost Is Correct
higher lower so someone gets to go first i will tell you if it's higher or lower than that and we'll zero in and i don't know if we're gonna go all the way to the exact number we're gonna zero in until i'm satisfied that we're in the ballpark enough if we nail it like dead on do we automatically win the episode it's it's prices it's double showcase rules if you guess the exact price of a thing you instantly win
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I think, I don't know that these dudes are still on it, but if you heard of Bob and Tom, you guys have probably heard of Bob and Tom, right? Yes. Okay. Well, on top of their Mr. Obvious skits, which I liked, there was a song called Dear Penthouse that was on Bob and Tom. And I listened to that in like the early 2000s.
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The Cost Is Correct
I'll even say the episode is instantly over. Editors, if someone guesses the exact price, the moment I look at the camera and go, that's correct. That's exactly. Black screen episode. Don't wait for me to do anything. Just mid sentence. Just yeah. And no Googling. This is one where these are such specific things. You could definitely find out the answers by Googling. That's fair. But here we go.
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The Cost Is Correct
In the year 2000, one lucky NSYNC fan got the opportunity of a lifetime because they got to have an breakfast interview on a radio station live with Justin Timberlake. And the fan was taken even more by surprise when JT didn't eat his French toast and just left it on the plate. And they thought to themselves, as any of us might, well, I better take the French toast with me.
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The Cost Is Correct
They then sold that French toast at auction. French toast he didn't eat, didn't touch. It was just sat in front of him for an entire, I'm assuming not very long interview. He breathed on it. This was French toast that was in the presence of JT. It felt how back sexy was even before everyone else knew. That's not even a collectible you can keep because food. Okay, go on.
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And every time I hear you guys say Dear Penthouse, like during that episode, I just thought of that song the whole time. I know the whole song still after 25 years or whatever. I don't know anything about Penthouse magazine. I only knew about it because of that song. That's fair.
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The Cost Is Correct
episode ends no i don't think it counts after the we can do the higher and lower i think it's sort of the first guess is where that really that was for french toast that you could keep for like a day and then you have to throw out anyway that doesn't make any sense 19 year old who apparently won the bidding war on the french toast said i'll probably freeze dry it and then seal it and keep it on my dresser
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The Cost Is Correct
Again, not here to judge what other people might enjoy in their lives. I would not be interested in having that anywhere in my life. But I hope you enjoyed your thousand dollar French toast. You know the show Hey Arnold where Helga like would have Arnold's gum and she made like a shrine of gum. That is less weird to me than the French toast.
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The Cost Is Correct
It was true love, I think, didn't they? It's okay, guys. This next one is something that, yes, it's memorabilia, but also it's really useful. In 2008, Scarlett Johansson appeared on The Tonight Show. At some point during her time on the show, she needed to blow her nose. After leaving behind some lipstick and also some nose boogers, she signed the tissue and sealed it in a bag, Where'd it go?
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The Cost Is Correct
Oh, and took it with her. She claimed that Samuel L. Jackson had given her the cold, thus making the tissue even more valuable. She'd go on to put it on eBay to sell it and donate the proceeds to charity. Oh, she did this? She did this. She signed it. There's a picture of her on the show. She signs it. She puts it in a bag on TV, takes it, puts sales on eBay, donates to charity.
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The Cost Is Correct
I think I only know about it from like weird 80s and 90s movie references where characters would make jokes about writing the Penthouse for him.
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How much money did Scarlett Johansson slash Samuel L. Jackson's germs get to donate to charity in 2008? Wade gets to go first on this one.
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all right 2008 that was like the housing financial crisis money was tight scarlett johansson charity ups the value just because people be like i'll spend more because it's for a good cause the french toast was a thousand they didn't even touch it a tissue with her snot and lipstick and samuel jackson disease that's gotta be like eight thousand seven hundred thirty four dollars
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The Cost Is Correct
lower financial crisis financial crisis in 2008 so i'm thinking like she wasn't the first iron man i believe that was like the second one wasn't it where she fights happy at the in the intro of the whole thing that's this that's the start of the second one where the shield guys are are trying she wasn't even mcu okay so yeah but she was in several movies so i mean she was already famous she the mcu didn't make scarlett johansson i don't think i'm gonna go with my previous guess 1384 dollars i love that guess higher damn
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The Cost Is Correct
No, that's fucking me. It's $5,300. God damn it. What the fuck? This is bullshit. I was honestly, I was going to give that back to you, but even you seem to have conceded that. Mark took that one unfair and square from you. Fine. I was busy trying to figure out what movies she was known for before 2008. Did you figure it out? She was in, like, The Prestige. She was in Home Alone 3 in 2007.
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The Cost Is Correct
She was in a drama with Chris Evans. She was in Home Alone 3? I don't remember Home Alone 3 very much, so I don't know what that is. That was the first one without Macaulay Culkin. Yeah, that was that was, I think, the first one without him. And that was the house and the oh, I don't remember the stuff, the story.
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But I remember like the setting in the house and the and the kid had to like was really into remote control cars or something and had a car with like a camera on it that he was driving around. I think she played his older sister in that movie, Molly Pruitt. Oh my God. I still don't remember her as being in that movie, but she must've been like really young. I don't know.
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Anyway, I like, I like that movie. All right, guys, you'll definitely know this next one. It's, it was very public. John Oliver on his show last week tonight, famous for buying funny shit with HBO's money. Cause he's, he's a funny guy at Russell Crowe's art of divorce auction. I guess was an auction where they were selling off things to pay for a divorce he was going through? It's unclear.
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Yeah, people know things. We're young. Our references are hip. Yeah. What's up, fellow youths? I just had my 12 year YouTube anniversary, which is kind of wild.
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It's not explained in this. But the total, the Art of Divorce auction netted $3.7 million in sales. But from this auction, John Oliver bought the jockstrap that Russell Crowe wore while filming the movie Gladiator. Oliver is quoted as saying, it's a big price to pay just to find out what Russell Crowe's balls smelled like in 2005.
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The Cost Is Correct
And apparently he, I don't know if he did, but he... That's the end of the quote. Yeah, it's a big price to pay for, yeah. Anyway, apparently they donated it to a struggling video store in Alaska. Now they have like an attraction. Some people go to the store and help support the business. But anyway, Russell Crowe's jockstrap from Gladiator. It's a big price to pay. John Oliver said big price.
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Mark goes first. One of the most famous movies of all time. Just had a sequel maybe come out. Did it come out? How's it come out?
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yeah like this this past weekend i think yeah i mean recently maybe or in the future we don't jockstrap he probably would have worn it multiple times really soaked in there but 2005 it doesn't get better with age or to some people probably i'm guessing this was resold because someone was like oh i gotta get rid of this thing it's getting ripe so i'm gonna guess 2385 higher
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fifteen thousand one hundred twenty five dollars man gosh well bold guess it is lower than that i wish it was fifteen thousand dollars i'm not gonna lie glad you're such a big film five thousand even higher eight thousand seven hundred fifty lower six thousand eight hundred and nineteen dollars higher eight thousand two hundred fifty higher
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Ding, ding, ding. This is bullshit! Well, you got it wrong with either guess. I just think this price is bullshit. You're the one who pressured me to give Mark the tighter clue with your bad... Damn it! ...protesting. Why are you listening to me? Man, one of you really cares about celebrity memorabilia, and one of you really is unbothered.
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You've been doing it longer than me, you bitch. I've been watching you since 2007. Yeah, that's not true.
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Oh, it's like Christopher Walken in the pocket watch. Kept it in his ass. I want to go weirder. Oh, weirder.
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Oh, this one's interesting. This one's interesting because it has a twist that impacts the value of it.
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If a used condom fell out of Justin Timberlake's pant leg, it would have sold for so much at auction. You can guarantee it. Even Russell Crowe's pant leg. I mean, 2005 Russell Crowe. He was pretty. He was hunky, right? Yeah, forget Gamer Girl Bathwater. You'd have Singer Boy Jizz Rubber. I just don't get why you ran away.
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You're the kind of person who wear a used condom might just fall out of your pants because you didn't even realize that had happened. He should have just owned it and been like, yeah, happens a lot. Yeah, well, happens a lot of time. Like a condom falls out of your pants and you're like, oh no, they're going to know I have a lot of sex.
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Like that's a weird mix of reaction with the consequence with reaction, I guess.
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Yeah, we've been doing this a long time. We're old. No. What do you mean, we? I'm glad people liked that episode. I was a little bit worried that that went on too long, but I can't control the dice. But I was like, man, this is a long bit. You know how you can control the dice is by not inviting them into our games in the future. That's how you can control them. People love dice.
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He's just like, it was raining outside before. It runs away like a Muppet. Yeah. So I didn't know what to do because it's like, do I tell an employee? Are they going to think it's my condom?
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I hope someone saw you looking down at the ground at the condom and just like staring at it. And they're like, Markiplier, just leave a condom on the ground.
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Oh, wow. Is it my lucky day? I need one of these for later. I was just thinking, I don't know if I can afford one of these and dinner. It's barely used. Who would throw a perfectly good condom? What's the eBay market like for lightly used condoms?
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Let's get back to the list. Good story, Mark. Good story. Anyway, Joan Rivers, famous celebrity personality, hosts things on TV. You know Joan Rivers. She's always on the red carpet interviewing people. She's a famous celebrity personality type person. She has a dog or had a dog at one point anyway.
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didn't she pass away like 10 years ago possibly i don't actually i don't know her follow her so if she did this isn't funny so it's not ruining her memory it's about her dog she had a dog named spike is a terrier this dog lived a charmed life and had a bespoke tiffany's dog bowl tiffany's is that very famous like jewelry brand it's known for they're known for their diamonds the tiffany blue thing it's a it's like a high end if you get a tiffany's box you got some fancy shit in there
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Spike's Tiffany Bespoke Dog Bowl apparently sold at auction for almost 30 times its estimated worth just for its Tiffany-ness. How much did it sell for? Wade goes first? Yeah, Wade goes first. Oh, good. Okay. Tiffany's is expensive.
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30 times 30 times that value i don't know what this dog bowl looked like if there were any like gems in it or if it was just the ceramic i'm gonna throw a hint out and say i hope there were some gems or diamonds or something in it let's go fifteen thousand dollars i'm going cheap it is lower than that cheap it's a dog bowl Yeah, but 30 times its value. How much are your dog bowls?
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I don't get them from Tiffany's where you spend a minimum of $500. I don't force my dogs to drink out of anything that costs less than 20 racks. I think assuming it was $500 was a fair assumption. You think that Bob was playing that up too much? Come on, Wade. It's a dog bowl.
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celebrity tiffany's 30 times value okay it's got gems in it it's the big bowl he was leading you to the water you didn't drink i basically told you the answer a 500 dog bowl from tiffany's is not that absurd of a thought all right it's it's a lower 5995 no it's higher you know it's a funny number mark that's the funniest number you've said yet i think thank you thank you very much $6,750. Higher.
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They love random chance. They love the wheels. Only you don't like them because they never work out for you. Everyone, and especially me, loves dice. You all love dice. Wait, roll one right now. Let's see what the odds are. What am I? What am I? Roll a 20 or I hate dice. Let me guess. It's not a 20. That's a 17. Ah! Bullshit.
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Higher. Why is $15,000 such a crazy number? We're in the ballpark now. I don't know. Maybe I'm just reacting randomly to throw you off the scent. $14,000. Wow. Mark's really kicking your ass today. It's 14 sold for $14,000.
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I'm the guy in Oregon Trail who cocks his wagon and floats and dies watching everyone else cock their wagons and succeed. Get better cock. I can't. I can't afford the toilet to handle it. Well, this next one involves multiple famous people, so that'll make it easier. Kim Kardashian bought this... Oh, at least a million. ...for one of her children, North West.
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I don't know if West is still their last name, but her child North, named North, for Christmas. This child was six years old, so obviously this was the absolutely perfect gift for a six-year-old. It was... An outfit worn by Michael Jackson. It was a jacket with a lot of fancy embroidery on it.
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And I don't know if it's all together, but sitting around it, there was a white glove and also the iconic sort of white hat, the smooth criminal hat that still has a little bit of stage makeup on it because it was actually worn. I was thinking Jackson five. So the kid could at least wear the outfit. This is an adult Michael Jackson outfit.
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The Cost Is Correct
This is like one of Michael Jackson's iconic god of pop music during his peak outfits. I'm sure you can imagine he had lots of very nice tailored embroidered jackets and elaborate stage outfits and things. This is one of those. It's a very fancy, worn in an actual performance, possibly multiple times, perfect gift for a six-year-old for Christmas. Anyway, how much did this sell for? My guess?
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There you go. I don't know if you noticed these have all... i don't know if you guys are picking up yet these are all like mostly evenish numbers that we're coming across here no no one of them's not gonna be we're gonna keep doing our thing i don't think i've got a single one of these this is my coin flip you you have not gotten a single one of these Don't call it a comeback, baby.
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The Cost Is Correct
I'm coming back. I'm still mad about the dog bowl, guys. I was so close. I know. I really screwed you on that one. You sure did. That's fine. Your game, man. This might be the last one because we're coming up on time here. But this is one that I know we know about. Especially Wade knows about this. This mask. was worn when Darth Vader revealed to Luke that he was in fact his father.
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The Cost Is Correct
This is the mask that was captured on film during that iconic scene, during that classic franchise. The mask is made of fiberglass and foam. It is an actual movie prop, so it's not made out of anything super nice. It's...
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The Cost Is Correct
serves its purpose it looks like darth vader because it is the mask that is darth vader it sold for a little bit more than double what they thought it was going to go for at auction that's a completely unhelpful hint what year was it auctioned uh i don't even know if i have that information because that's going to affect the price a lot too because that it was auctioned in 1980 versus 2020 or something oh 2019 there we go okay very recent very 2019
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The Cost Is Correct
uh was that before or after the new trilogy kind of flopped it's kind of in the middle of it isn't it didn't like uh didn't the first one of the new trilogy come out in like well i don't wasn't that 2018 2017 i time is weird man i don't remember what years they all came out i don't know i don't know all right so anyway they how much more did it go for it went for a little bit more than twice as much as they thought it was going to go for
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The Cost Is Correct
$20,000 higher. Oh, apparently The Force Awakens came out in 2015, The Last Jedi came out in 2017, and The Rise of Skywalker came out at the end of 2019. But this sold in leading up to the release of the third movie in the new trilogy. I'm going to guess, because all these have been increasing. Oh, Mark seeing patterns. $100,000.
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the board how many more of these we got let's go power power thirst power thirst power thirst uh speed speed farming what the fuck am i trying to say keep going you got it higher lower i don't want to play anymore there's no way i can even rig this to help you out wade i'm not going to sugarcoat it excellent wade i will give you three guesses and if you get this on any of the three guesses i will give you three points on first guess two points on second guess one point on third guess
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oh man what are we doing what are we doing i don't know everyone knows what we're doing this is distractible i'm the host which means i'm the judge and you guys are trying to get points or less points maybe it's the golf score episode i'd probably not we're getting more unhinged as this year goes on we're finally getting unhinged that's where this podcast is going up until this recently it's been very straight laced and made sense completely so hinged look at my hinge
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excellent i think i'm only down by one so that's good yeah ish um michael jordan basketball superstar wore these nike airships during the regular season of his rookie year in 1984 and then signed them He gifted these autographed shoes to a Denver Nuggets ball boy after a game when he felt like he was done using them. He needed a new pair.
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The Cost Is Correct
Higher. $1.5 million. Oh, $1.5 million on guest number three earns you one point. That's right, Mark. I'm not an ordinary contestant. Wade knows about Darth Vader and basketball, and Mark knows about literally everything else. That's what we're going to call it on the points. The person whose name I read first. I'm not going to tell you. Maybe you win. Maybe you lose. Don't read into it.
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The Cost Is Correct
Wade, your name is first. You earn points for didn't cheat because lazy. Then it's cake. Give him a point because Mark gave you one. Wade's real laugh came out. Cheap dog bowl. Scoff. Darth Vader mask and Air Jordans. That's like 30 points. Mark, you earned points for old, old, old. You know, the render farm. Do you have enough power? Justin Timberlake, French toast.
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The Cost Is Correct
thousand dollar oh what did i write forty four thousand dollar bowl probably and michael jackson's outfit you literally got six of those correct to wade's two but he got two important ones correct just because they're more important but dollar amount oh have pity on me i'm having a stroke All right, Mark earned some bonus stroke points probably.
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The Cost Is Correct
Wade, you earned a total of seven points for all of that. And Mark, you earned a total of eight points. Oh, damn your stroke. That gave you the win. Oh, that stopped Bob from spinning the wheel of pain probably. No, I didn't even give him the bonus stroke point. Honestly, you needed to get the Michael Jordan sneakers guess on the first try to have a chance at winning.
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The Cost Is Correct
You were three or two points down when you took that challenge. Honestly, I'm surprised I was that close. You did get it in three guesses, which was pretty good. which did earn you a point, but that was not enough. As the loser, Wade, please give us a loser speech. Look, I think this episode is proof in the pudding that I don't really collect much.
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The Cost Is Correct
I don't care about celebrities, including if you count us. You don't care about me?
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The Cost Is Correct
we're just all normal people and no one needs to buy weird stuff that we might leave behind that being said i've got some old cutlery that i've been using for years might be on ebay soon and you should definitely buy it for lots of money that'll probably work i just want to throw this out there i totally forgot i had another web page open i i was gonna have you guys guess how much three sections of corporal light which is fossilized dinosaur poop is is worth but that's uh we didn't get to that so maybe next time we'll talk about dinosaur poop
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The Cost Is Correct
That sounds... Don't be weirded out if you invite Bob and I over and we go through your trash and wardrobe. Ah!
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The Cost Is Correct
he doesn't have anything in there so i think that's pretty much useless why do i want his one pair of pants that's full of holes yeah it is really that i was about to say it is i do not have pants those will sell for so much mark people want your holy pants well these are mark's only pants he's just naked now yeah anyway congratulations mark you did really well i feel like that was very fair you both had a lot of knowledge on the subject and uh i'm really proud of myself for coming up with such a good idea that everyone loves so much
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The Cost Is Correct
to be fair i said more on him that's why they call us the door of podcasts because we're hinged oh i they said dora and i was like because knocker no knocking but now we're the tornado of podcasts hinges are long gone the reference only we know i know that's literally referenced no like five other people in the entire world might remember
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That's the end of the episode. Make sure you check us out on our socials. Merkplier, LordMania777, MySkirm. We have merch. ExtractableStore.com. It's out there. And until next time, you know, the thing, the, what do we say? Oh, right. Podcast out. Noochie boochies.
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The Cost Is Correct
God, I can't believe that rant didn't make it onto something that didn't get corrupted.
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The Cost Is Correct
That was the original Bob's Fridge. That was, yeah. It really was. I think I might have been angrier. It was a shorter burst of anger, so it was more concentrated than Bob's Fridge was. I don't remember what you were mad about, but I remember it was really funny. I was just tired.
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The Cost Is Correct
We were just trying to give a post show like interview for we were doing the behind the scenes and I was just fucking exhausted and everyone was just jerking around. My seat was uncomfortable because usually we did those in like the green room or in our somewhere backstage or whatever. And that one was like it was busy everywhere. So we were like, quick, cram in the bus. We'll do it in the bus.
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The Cost Is Correct
And I just got a bad seat. Just had a bad time. I'm sorry, man. I always regret that there's not a video of that. Oh, well. No one will ever know how good it was. Or wasn't. Anyway, uh... Excuse you? There was dust on it.
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The Cost Is Correct
I thought you were about to then take that and slide it into the world's largest NES console.
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The Cost Is Correct
i miss tech like that but it's actually cake it's actually it turns on mario starts playing and then you cut the tv and the nes into pieces okay like whoa what the fuck i bet i can get an ai to render that video yeah except it'll have like nine arms cakes don't even have arms you take the good with the bad oh man sugar-free red bull is not the same it really hits you right in the right in the area
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The Cost Is Correct
Anyway, you guys got small talk? How you doing? How you been? How's it going? I have a disaster.
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The Cost Is Correct
I don't want to ruin the illusion for people, but you mean like 40 minutes ago? Yeah, well... When you bragged about how your render farm was working.
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The Cost Is Correct
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Distractible. And I promise this is the only time during this entire episode that we're going to mention hate orgasms. I am your host. My name is Bob and I'm joined as ever by my two competitors for today and pro maybe host of next time. One of them, I guess, is how that works. Wade and Mark are here.
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The Cost Is Correct
But there's a problem. The longer you use them, the more the performance just starts to go...
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The Cost Is Correct
and then eventually it locks up so bad you can't use it how long is this like if you do it for a couple days or is this like 10 minutes 15 minutes is about the time it starts that's not long enough that's not long enough to do i was like yeah you could just reset it every night so i thought this would have resolved i've done like bios updates i've done you know firmware updates i've done every update that i can that is provided by the manufacturer of the server the end result i think and i'm in communication to like do a big return
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The Cost Is Correct
This sounds like the kind of server I wouldn't leave a tip, and I always leave a tip. Give him a point. Alright, alright, alright. Mark said so. Have you thought about talking to the server's manager? I am the manager. That sucks, though. That really sucks.
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The Cost Is Correct
It's not overheating. I even thought that it might have been one of the peripheral components in the server overheating. At one point I had a graphics card in there, a very small compact one.
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i'm not saying the beginnings of these episodes have been off-putting but i feel slightly off-put it's a one and only time so everyone keep that in mind dear penthouse your penthouse forum i can't believe it happened to me i'm shocked people even understand that reference because i don't even know i it's not even like my generation that that's from no
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The Cost Is Correct
That one's a little, hey, sus. Nope, nope, no. I give myself one for whatever that's worth. But anyway, so that's the latest. It's not all Sunshine Roses.
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The Cost Is Correct
But it'll probably be fine once you redo it. It'll probably work then. Yeah, it probably will, maybe. But I do know that the Gigabyte servers do have a more recent BIOS update than ASUS did.
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The Cost Is Correct
So ideally that should work, because the processors are fine. Probably. Great small talk. Thanks for suffering. I believe in you, buddy. Your agony has provided a lot of content over the years, Mark.
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The Cost Is Correct
I myself am also having tech problems. And I'm not the tech guy. You guys are the tech guys.
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The Cost Is Correct
And you could have some more tech problems. You would have at least gotten a bonus point for that, maybe.
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The Cost Is Correct
Guys, these monitors, they all three are on and they're working. And only once a week do I have to turn my computer off, unplug everything for 20 minutes, plug it back in and turn it on for them all three to work. It's normal. Yeah, I don't.
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The Cost Is Correct
understand it's normal i reached out to lg and i was like why is this happening to me and they went through all these questions they're like do you have three of this model yep they all work yep they worked at the same time yep these two work together those two work together these two work together but they don't all three always work together yep that's it wait a minute do you have enough power i assume so because right now they're all three working
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The Cost Is Correct
With three monitors and a high powered computer and a NAS, and don't you have another computer in there? He does. Oh yeah, there's two computers, four monitors, one with the other computer, camera, this, lights. That's a lot of power. Do you only have one circuit running to that room? I believe I have two. Are they plugged into the two? Do you know which plugs are the ones on the different ones?
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The Cost Is Correct
Well, let me tell you. Other computer and monitor, sonology are all on one. Everything else is on the other. Except for the lights. Lights are kind of spread out. How big is the power supply on your computer? Is it a 1600? They're an easy way to check without having to bend over and look at my computer. No, you kind of have to go look at it.
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The Cost Is Correct
Yours is probably under the shroud, under the bottom of the case, too, if I had to guess. So you'd really have to look at the back of the thing. I always get more power than I think I need. What's your graphics card? The 4090. It's probably a pretty big power supply. It's probably a 1600 watt power supply. It's probably quite large. Yeah. I don't get it, man.
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The Cost Is Correct
What Mark is saying is you should plug a couple, if not all, of your monitors into the other circuit on like an extension. I also have my computer plugged into like a battery backup. That definitely limits your power.
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The Cost Is Correct
that was like a joke my dad and like his age make gen x i guess is the generation that that is almost gen older gen x is penthouse even still around anymore i know a lot of magazines are basically on the way out so no idea i'm not gonna google that just like i'm not gonna google ashley madison because i don't want that on my search history who's looking at your search history the government Yes.
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The Cost Is Correct
Do you have your monitors plugged into the UPS too? No, just the computer itself. It's probably a straight pass through then. It's probably still just load on the whole circuit because those batteries usually are passed through unless they detect something. Yeah, so far I've had no issues with that. No, I don't think. But I don't know, man.
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I'm just tired of having to do that every single week because it's like a 20, 30 minute process. And sometimes I don't have that kind of time. Also, I haven't found a way to stop the monitors from like going to sleep or turning themselves off. And sometimes the issue is if one of the monitors goes to sleep, it don't wake back up. And that's when I have to unplug and redo everything.
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The Cost Is Correct
Okay, maybe it is power. But LG, I went through all these questions with them. They didn't ask about power of all things. They were like, they probably assumed this guy's probably got the power necessary for it. Are they plugged into electricity? Check.
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yeah well i talked to the person they were like this is more than i usually deal with let me get my manager so i talked to the manager and whoever else too and they were like you know what you need to do who makes your graphics card and i was like well it says republic of gamers so you know who that means mark's favorite company right now and they were like you should reach out to them they can solve our monitors not working and i was like uh uh the classic must be their problem
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The Cost Is Correct
So I reached out and I actually never heard back from their tech support team ever. The number one customer service solution followed closely there by the number two customer service solution of don't return that one. They're working. They're working right now. They work great when they work. But man, once a week, unplug everything, sit here fucking myself for 20 minutes, plug them back in.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
All right. I'm going to share my screen preemptively so that we just know if this does happen. Oh, no.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
I just want to make it clear. I'm doing a thing. I'm not just standing there waiting to see.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
I was just sitting here like, uh-huh, keep that one. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. He's gonna do something, right?
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
So close. I feel like I should stop this because I worry about you guys choking.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
Call the White House. I'm an opponent. Me, better do something. White House, they've heard the lesson. Doesn't know what happened. So I'm like, okay, I better call A.J. Frost. Mr. Frost, we need you. I need to go to the gym. I need to play athlete. Oh, shit. Down the hill. Down the hill. I got my spaceship. So I make my way down the hill. I get my spaceship. I fuck like a little mule.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
I don't know why I can do it. I'm not a mule. You think I brought my chainsaw? What's this going to mean?
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
Naked. Butthole. Beans time. Eating the beans. Beans don't work. Oh, Mark. Mark. Meteor. Oh, nothing happened. Oh, White House. Oh, Meteor. Nothing happened. Oh, AJ Frost. Oh, Meteor. Oh, Ben Affleck. Run down the hill. I'm going to face you, and nothing happens. I'm going to chase you, and nothing happens. Morphine! Morphine! Morphine! Morphine! Morphine! Morphine! I don't know anything.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
You want to help me with a present? Nope. No, you don't really need it. I'm cool about it. It's very fast! Fuck! I'll get it right away. I'll get it right away. I'll get it right away. I'll get it right away. I'll get it right away. I'll get it right away. I'll get it right away. I'm sorry. Ow! That only happens. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
How many cookies have you eaten in the last ten minutes? I had two full packs and this is all it's worth?
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
But it went places that I have so... I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
This episode of Distractable is brought to you by Doom the Dark Ages. Id Software presents Doom the Dark Ages, a dark fantasy sci-fi experience that brings epic combat and over-the-top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise. Dominate demon-infested battlefields with devastating weapons, soar on a mecha dragon, and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Yeah. No, I looked into a bunch of that. There's a couple of apps called like, like dumb phone and blank space where they're designed to like turn your phone into like those minimalist e-ink phones where it's all, it doesn't have any that, that sort of stuff. And they have, yeah, I just, eventually I was just like, like I need the minimum effective threshold.
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Who Is Us?
Cause I don't want my phone to actually be a pain in the ass to use, but I need it to be just, just enough where it's like, if I have to do something, I can still do it. But if I don't have to do something, it's like, Why would I do that? I need the web browser. It's working surprisingly well.
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Who Is Us?
It's the big empty pause where I stopped talking and look at you. It's next council. We'll figure it out. You know what it is in my head is I know that that's a problem. And so I look and I'm like, they're probably not going to talk. I should just keep going. And then my setup for you is worse than it needs. It's, it's my fault. That's okay.
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Who Is Us?
No, but honestly, I did this whole thing. I was like, this isn't going to work. This is going to be really stupid. Absolutely shocked at how effective it has been. And it's a very meaningless change. Because my phone still does all the exact same shit. I didn't uninstall anything. It's just like, the app isn't where I can touch it in half a second. Totally dodges my mind.
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Who Is Us?
I move on to the next ADD thing. And I've been reading a lot more books. begin into books books are good for you uh sci-fi books are delightful and don't make me feel like the world is collapsing around me 24 7 it's amazing how social media does that it's great it's a feature yeah actually it is a feature it's a feature not a bug
Distractible
Who Is Us?
and even yeah like you're saying even though that might be true i i do still read news i just choose to go and read news and like consciously do it so that i'm aware of stuff but i'm not just scrolling on twitter and being like oh look who said what oh god he said what if presidents hate this one trick well i have to read that Good for you, Wade. Good job, buddy. You should read that book.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Love that book. I forget if you're reading the one that you talked about, but people on the subreddit were pretty jazzed about some book that you mentioned. The Winds of Something Wind.
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Who Is Us?
The wind blows in the castle. The name of the wind. I just started the name of the wind. Yeah, that's the one. That's what I was saying, basically. People were pretty jazzed about that book. People seem to think that's a good one. I just started it.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
That's everything I had for today, and it's going to be a little bit of a short one.
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Who Is Us?
Which is going to be released in five parts over the next three days. Look forward to that. Spamming your feed.
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Who Is Us?
Like when Wade's house was flooding and falling to pieces all around him and you showed up just when he needed you to so you could film it and exploit it for views on the internet? No.
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Who Is Us?
Um, no, I have a, I have a, I don't think we've done this now. Now I'm paranoid. I don't think we've done this, but we're back on, we're back in the realm of, we almost had a repeat cause Mark's episode was the perfect crime. And previously we had done perfect crime. They're totally different episode concepts, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to anyone online.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
you think i was up at 2 a.m just looking at when this came out no also yeah they're fundamentally i don't even remember what the original perfect crime was the original one was like we just weren't describing how we would get away with crimes in like a completely make it up as you go like there was no structure it was just kind of bullshitting it was fun people people were like that's one of my favorite episodes and i was like
Distractible
Who Is Us?
But no. But honestly, your idea was different. Like, not kind of different. Straight up different. Straight up a different idea.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
That's what if we've learned anything, especially what the listeners like, it's we need way more rules. And they need to be more complicated.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I don't know why. I feel like I just heard Ethan's voice come out of your mouth. Oh, when we were younger than here. But yeah, I have an idea, and we probably haven't done it. What we're going to be doing is... Well, I will be honest, this is inspired by a Wade episode. But we're going to be looking at groups of...
Distractible
Who Is Us?
like characters, Greek gods, characters from movies, like the Avengers or the Fellowship of the Ring, and we're going to be assigning, well, you are going to be assigning each of us to which character in those groups you think we best match up with.
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Who Is Us?
Some of these groups we might not be completely familiar with, and I will try and give you summaries of who's in the groups and whatever, but we haven't done this, right?
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Who Is Us?
Wade's idea that I'm stealing was like, remember we did like, which dog breed is M-I-M-U? Which insect? Oh, we did that. It was called Small Dog Energy or whatever. This is like... Which of the Avengers do you think each of us is? And then you both sort of make your, your choices. And then I have choices and somehow that nets you points. I mean, the points don't matter.
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Who Is Us?
It's not like that's important. But we're just going to go, and you guys, if you have specific groups you want to get to, or you think that would be fun that I don't get to, you can even recommend them. It's that kind of thing. But I have a whole list of groups that I want to, and we'll start easy. The Avengers. Everybody knows the Avengers. Marvel's Avengers. Who am we of them?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And it can be off the cuff. Would you like a summary of who the Avengers is?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
They're obscure Avengers, they're new ones, whatever. Or if you want to stick to the original comic books, I'm open to it. I just want to know what you think, mostly of me. I don't really care what you think of each other.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
No, no, well, it's all of us. You're doing us. You're the one kissing up to Bob.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I like to view myself as a smart Hulk, post-Civil War Hulk, but played by Edward Norton. I like that combo. All right, I actually do have to pull up a list of The Avengers because I don't even remember.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
All right, so I'm Edward Norton Hulk, Mark is Doctor Strange, and Wade is lame commercial Captain America, specifically, just that version. Or swordsman. Or swordsman.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
What are you saying? I don't know. Were you trying to say, in podcast, we trust?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I feel like there are some serious awesome heroes that they really missed out on the movie stuff with these.
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Who Is Us?
Mark, I think you kind of are a two-gun kid. The description I have is he's a really unique case because while most Avengers are tech geniuses or aliens or super soldiers, the two-gun kid is basically just a really brave cowboy. And somehow, that's enough. I love that, Reed.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
well while you're firing the one one time you're cleaning the other one so it's ready to go one more time well we solved it great episode so those are our roles in the event i feel like i came out on top there i mean hulk is pretty awesome i feel like mine was the least connected to me oh come on sword man sword swordsman he's a cool mustache you have a cool mustache Yeah.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I think you guys should do the talking. I'm going to go back to sleep. Well, that's sort of the plan. If you've never seen the show before, I'm Nose, which means I have a game, which I do have written out in front of me with words. And I give points and someone wins and they host the next one. No, no one cares. But before we get to the game, we usually do small talk.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I don't think about it, though. Dude, if you ever go, if you ever want to transition back to clean shaven or if you have to do that for whatever, you should definitely just go with mustache for a minute. Just get down to the mustache and see how that looks just for a minute.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
We should be... Which Austin Powers character are we? That is not on my list, but I'm into it. Dr. Bald? Dr. Bald? And then Mark can be Mini-Me.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Dibs on anyone but Fat Bastard. I can't do a Scottish accent. That's the only reason. Well... Mark does a great Scottish accent.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
You know what I always forget about? It comes back around. Number two, young number two, was played by Rob Lowe. That's so funny.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And it's been a minute since we've all hung out. So I'm sure everybody has something really interesting to talk about. I got a bone to pick with Apple. Uh-oh. Well, this is not new.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Yeah, well, that's why he had the box. He's trying really hard not to eat them like potato chips, but it's hard, you know? Plus, when you age them in the box just right. A little bit of canola oil. You okay, Mark?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
All right. New group. New vibe. Same us. Toy Story gang. Hoomst is hoomst. And the gang expands a lot. My vision of it is always from the first movie, where it's like the core characters that live in Andy's room. But you can include anyone. Okay. Wade's Mr. Potato Head. That's obvious.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Well, and that's the one that's voiced by John Ratcliffe, right? Who's in every Disney movie in existence or whatever.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I can only imagine the kind of culturally sensitive and very appropriate jokes that are in the movie Ernest Goes to Africa. Actually, I don't know that much about those movies. I just have this vision of them making generally really off-color jokes that wouldn't hold up. Is that fair or is that unfair?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
The one that's voiced by the guy who plays Frasier? What's his name? Kelsey Grammer.
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Who Is Us?
I don't know. That's about as well thought out and pre-planned as some of the SNL movies that took place.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Also, could I just say that it only has a 5 out of 10 on IMDb, but the Google ratings for Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam is 76% positive. That's really something. And that was almost a million dollar film. $800,000 to make Dr. Otto. Have you read the description of the movie? I'm trying not to. Oh, okay. I won't read it out loud then. Wait, what? Hang on. No, we should read that.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
The first five words really got me. Dr. Otto grows a hand out of his head as he conjures a plan to take over the world.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
In that universe, I'm the hand. I'd like to be the changing coffin. It wasn't even shot in Cincinnati. His first target was Cincinnati, but it was mainly shot in Tennessee. Come on.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I really like the credits for Dr. Otto. Jim Varney plays Dr. Otto, Rudd, Laffajack, so on, so on. Other people play Lance. Jackie Welsh plays Doris. And Glenn Patak plays Otto's head hand. Does it have a voice line or something? I'm assuming it's just a hand. It's like a practical hand on top of his head and it does things. Oh. There's just a guy with his hand on Jim Varney's head being all...
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I don't know. I'm a hand. I don't know. It's a tough performance. How do you convey emotions as a hand? It's complicated.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Good job. Thank you for circling us back to the game. The Scooby-Doo Gang. This is a much more defined cast of characters. It can include ancillary characters or villains, if you know enough about Scooby-Doo to know any specific villains you like. But who are we among the Scooby-Doo Gang? Tell me.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Ghost of Bigfoot? When did he die? ! What a deep cut. You're out in the Pacific Northwest. Like, man, I hope we see Bigfoot, you know? And the ghost of Bigfoot walks by.
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Who Is Us?
Oh, I remember them. Yeah, that was one of the Scooby-Doo movies that was like on TV a lot.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Yeah. That was like the binging format pre-streamer days. But when those like half-length episodes where it would just play into each other, into each other, you could watch them endlessly because it felt like it never ended.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I mean, every single one, wasn't it? Wasn't there always some version of the chase scene bit where the music plays and they're running in and out of some setup of doors and shenanigans?
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Who Is Us?
Dude, so much porn is made about me, I have to be Velma. When people cosplay me, it's always so, so sexy.
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Who Is Us?
I don't care for that. I don't care that you said that out loud. Thank God I have a Fantasia.
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Who Is Us?
This is one I don't know if we're all going to have the same level of knowledge on, but I think we do. Overwatch. The video game. Overwatch. Cast of... It's a hero shooter. Cast of characters. Wade's Doomfist. You know why.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Wait, hold on. Does that make Mark the... Oh, no. What's the guy who hears the music of the universe? Gravity douchebag. Isn't he also bald? No, he has hair. Gravity douchebag.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Brigitte is actually Torbjorn's daughter. She's kind of like Reinhardt mini. She has a smaller shield and she has a flail-y mace thing, but she's kind of like a support-y tank-y.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
No, I'm very much not the character, but I could see where you're getting that.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I actually don't know venture at all. I have stopped paying attention to this game before venture came out.
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Who Is Us?
Reaper's not young. There were cutscenes where Soldier and Reaper were young together early on in the early days of the thing, but I don't know. That's probably wrong. The lore in Overwatch, I don't remember.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
He was named for a person who worked at Blizzard who turned out, I think, to be a creep. He was named for a real-life person who turned out to, I forget exactly, but it might have been sexual allegations or something happened where the person McCree was originally named for, they were just kind of like, ah, never mind. He's somebody else. That sounds correct. I could see Marcus being May.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
She's like the ice girl. Oh, because she's Asian. I get it. Yeah, obviously. But also, she's a tinkerer. She has her little robot buddy. She tinkers. She has a server farm. There's a very long... May specific cut scene where she's alone in an isolated base, like in the Arctic. And she like hacks the tech. Everything's broken.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And she wakes up from cryo sleep and she like hacks the tech and then climbs up onto the antenna in a blizzard. And, and like, she's, she's like a technological tinkerer. May would, may definitely has a server farm somewhere that she uses for her. Okay. All right. That's fair.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I actually made Zenyatta when I played that game still. It doesn't really matter because Overwatch is basically dead because the Overwatch 2 came out and it's all stinky, stinky.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Stinky Overwatch. I played a lot of that game. That was the game we played with Mandy's family for a long time. And then Overwatch 2 came out and it went from 6v6 to 5v5. And we were like, well, and then just never touched it ever again.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Because it's hard to get six people together, but when you have a game out for years and everyone gets used to playing 6v6, then you have your six-person group that you always play Overwatch with, and then suddenly one of you is no longer invited. It's fucking awful. 5v5 is like the standard in like... Popular, especially competitive shooters, 5v5 is like the standard, right?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Counter-Strike's always been 5v5. Rainbow Six Siege is 5v5. Like, most team games is 5v5. It's very common. Which is strange, because it's got six right in the name. That's true. Rainbow Five Siege does sound really stupid, though. What about Rainbow Five and a Half? How do you get a half person? What's a half person?
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Who Is Us?
Would it just be two functional halves of a person if you cut them long ways? Is that your idea?
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Who Is Us?
It's like a gerrymandered voting district in American politics. Just cut random shapes out of a person until they're split.
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Who Is Us?
One side is just a part that can shit into a toilet and the other side gets everything else that's useful. But somehow it's 50-50. Do you guys know Game of Thrones?
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Who Is Us?
There's a really good deleted scene between Tywin Lannister and Pycelle where they're on the beach and Tywin is straight up just like, why the fuck you lie about that? Just talk to me like you're normal. And Pycelle is just like, well, okay. And they just have a conversation.
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Who Is Us?
I don't know if good is an accurate enough description, but he's a very interesting character. Honestly, it's kind of a shit arc in the whole thing, but he does some, he has a big, he is one of the characters that has a big transformation and goes through a lot of shit. It's really, he has a really good storyline.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
i like to think that that was like a bit on set i like the name gray joy oh the gray joys they're they're uh hard to like set of characters but uh yeah but their names looks like an oxymoron you think of gray is like the meh days outside it's like oh it's cloudy it's a gray day but you have to compare that with joy and it's kind of like what's his name liara not his name her name we are a great gray joy is that one of the characters she's cool she's a good character
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Euron and Theon. Well, Theon doesn't suck. Euron sucks. Wait, that list... No, they have a sister.
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Who Is Us?
Mark is the guy who dies before, no! Jon Arryn's the guy, the Hand of the King, who dies before the show begins. Oh! Jon Arryn dies, that's why Baratheon goes north to get Stark to be the new Hand of the King. Mark is the guy who dies in the prologue.
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Who Is Us?
John Aaron was said to have been one of the best men. He was a great guy. He was so good that everyone hated him and he got murdered because he was too good.
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Who Is Us?
Got giants? Yeah, he lived at Hardhome before Jon Snow came, and they saved some of those people, but not very many of them. Commonly referred to by the other Free Folk as 1-1. That's a good one. I like that. I like the giants for weight in general, because I feel like everyone has impression of the giants in Game of Thrones is that they're kind of like...
Distractible
Who Is Us?
That describes human history, though. No one died quite as fast as Mark did, though. That's for sure. All right, well, we've done a lot. There was, well, there were a few more I was really interested in, but we can call it there. Anyway, points. In no particular order, Wade, you got points for dunce number. The last of, the least of, what the fuck did I write? Something about Easter.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
That's pretty good. Yeah. Lame Captain America, Fast Looker Upper, Paul Rudd's Necklace, Busty Scoob, and John Aaron.
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Who Is Us?
Mark, you got points for done number, which is a thing I said. I'll take it. So much time saved. Kissing my ass. The Two-Gun Kid. He's older. the ghost of Bigfoot, the anterior pelvic tilt, and f***ing Wade as Grandmeister Pycelle. I got a point for f***ing Wade. You didn't f*** Wade in that way. You f***ed him in the other way, in the normal... Like, I know... Maybe bleep those words, editors.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I don't know. Now that I know what I know about the people who watch and listen to this podcast... Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
great now i can't even google myself without seeing me busty and 3d printed uh and i get a point for busty wade now being a thing on the internet uh i will share the screen and we will do the wheels of destiny what are you adding i'm adding uh best mental image wait which one was the best mental image of the day i mean we'll cross that bridge when we get to it but it was probably definitely busty scoob
Distractible
Who Is Us?
i don't know if that's the best no he's right he's right depends what you mean by best but i'm pretty sure we can all agree it was probably busty scoob all right here you go how many bonus points will there be oh mystical wheel of bonus points Oh, please give us a good one. Okay. Two bonus points. Oh, mystical wheel of bonus points. Tell us the answer. Who gets what and why? Most self-sabotage.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Did we have any of that today? We were on our A game here. I don't know if there's really either of you that clearly did have like a self-sabotage or not.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Yeah, some idiot came up with an episode idea that had a lot of teamwork in it. Do we agree for a re-roll? Do we not just re-roll that?
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Who Is Us?
Do we give credit to the person who created the callback thing or did the callbacks? That's a question.
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Who Is Us?
Really don't want to be tied to Busty Scoob. Wait, so honestly, if I'm going to say who did the most callbacks, every round, Wade at least once picked a character for himself because Bald. And I'm going to say Bald is a definite callback from Wade. And one more spin.
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Who Is Us?
points for listeners god damn i was really excited when the first one wasn't listeners if you're like oh maybe maybe this is the one shit am i allowed to say the word and do the coin thing or i don't think so If I get the one-man show, can I then challenge it and do a coin flip, and then each of you has to do a one-man show? All right, fuck. All right.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
The final result is Mark has eight points, Wade has eight points, and the listeners have one point. This seems very fair.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
That's what I think. That's a really, really big chunk. Also, I should probably make it so that I'm not one of the winners, I guess.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
whoa no no wait a minute whoa hey listen it's good it's good no i don't like that very much 72 let's stick with 72 jesus christ for anyone who's not watching i changed the names on the wheel and it went to three equal parts a lot of ties the wheels have added a lot of ties to this yeah well the wheels have made it really hard to make sure you manufacture dodging the tie it's so awesome i'm glad we did that to us
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I love this wheel. All right, and that was a 20%, so next time is 22% for the poor sucker who accidentally ends in a tie.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And Mark, you can duck out whenever you need to because I don't need you for the rest of this. Thank you so much for watching and or listening to this show. This has been yet another episode of Somebody's Favorite Podcast. I don't know who the fuck that person is, but honestly, I don't really care. And make sure you follow the podcast. Follow it on whatever platform you watch it on.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Don't forget we have video on Spotify and on YouTube, but you can listen to this podcast on all the other places where podcasts go. And if you follow it, you'll always get a notification when new shows come out. It's every Monday and Friday. But just in case, you know, you want to remember, make sure you follow Mark and Mark Plyer, Waitlord, Minion777, or Minion777. Me at MySkirm. Huh?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I forgot to turn off the camera. Oh. We'll see you on the next one where Wade will be hosting because the wheel is always fair. There's nothing more fair than a wheel. That's what I always say. That's all. We're out of here. Have a great life. Love you. Podcast out.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I wrote down a point for you, and it's a joke, and I just want to throw this out there. Mark, are you sure you got the right number? Did you get a Dunn's number or a Dunn number? Right? Because, like, you finished, concluded.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
That's great. I love how easy it is to just buy and use their products. It just works, and everything makes sense. I'm in the midst of a, not dissimilar, but a relatable experience to that. I bought a thing, it came, it didn't work, and I went to the dude to do the online return, and it was like, oh, just bring it into a store.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And they sent me an email that was like, here, just bring it into the store. Here's the number you need. And I brought it into the store, and the guy at the store was like, oh, did you use your phone number when you bought this? And I was like, I don't, I think so. I bought it through your website. It's not like I bought it from, ooh, there's no, your phone number's not coming up.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Well, okay, I'm holding the thing here. Can you just take it and give me a refund? They're like, pfft. no like well I have an email that says bring it to any store and they'll do the return and or exchange I'll exchange it I don't even care and he was like I can't help you that you're going to have to go back to the internet.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And like, I stood there and looked at him and I was like, your company says, and then you says, do I just own this broken thing now forever? Like what? I went to another store yesterday and the guy literally, while they were doing the transaction, the guy at the store was like, you said you tried to do this before. What store did you go to? And I was like, Oh, over in this other place, that store.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
And he was like, what did you work with? I was like, I don't know, like medium tall guy, like shaved head goatee. And he looked at me and was like, That makes sense. That makes sense. He's so stupid. I'm so sorry. And then he just did the return for me, because apparently the guy I went to the store to talk to just didn't know how to do it.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
But anyway, that's a little bit different, but when the company tells you conflicting things like that, or deletes your account repeatedly, I don't understand. I don't understand.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Jesus, they just delete your main personal Apple account. Your phone and all of your Apple. Everything is just like, oh, you don't have an account. Turns out I'm not a computer anymore. You're surprisingly chill about it. This sounds like the kind of thing that would make my head explode a little bit.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
We don't have a Brooks and Dunn's number. We could. You want one? Do we need one? Can we get one? Just in case.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Successfully create an account with Apple Business. I bet you guys would be able to go through just fine, just for some reason.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Well, I don't spell very good, so every time I type my name in, it'll be a little different. I'll just accidentally circumvent their random security. Easy peasy.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
No, I'm Bob Milkskins. I do things too, by the way. My dad is Rumble Milkskins. Yeah, what's up with you, Wayne? Animorphs? What are you doing?
Distractible
Who Is Us?
To your... Oh, I had a bit for this. Eh, doesn't matter now. Welcome back to Distractible. If you wanted expectations for what you're about to see, that sets them fairly accurately. My name is Bob. I'm going to be your host because I won the last one. And today's competitors, as always and forever, will be Mark and Wade, my co-hosts. They don't have to say hi.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
that's all i just want to get that out i i have no idea i i haven't been watching so i don't know yeah i i like to just wait and then binge them more so i haven't so i i have been dodging spoilers like i'm playing dodgeball against the purple cobras but um i did see a lot of people desperately upset about the episode that came out on easter
Distractible
Who Is Us?
Yeah, I just post to social media from other apps using the share function on my phone. You don't even have to open it.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
hi I'm Wade I didn't know that existed it's a thing per usual for me that's not surprising to me in the least I speaking of dodging social media I did a I did a redesign on my phone recently where I instead of you know iPhones traditionally you just have like a whole fuck of apps and it's just apps apps apps there's like nine pages of apps on your phone I hate that. I've always hated that.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
I've always thought that was incredibly stupid. I went in and redesigned so that all I have is like widgets. This is like my main home screen. And then I have one page where it's like apps I use multiple times a day on this page. No social media, no anything. It's all like utility stuff.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
So if I want to open an app, I actually have to do the thing where you like pull down and start typing to pull up an app specifically by name. It's kind of changed my whole relationship with my phone. I don't just because I literally I didn't realize it.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
If when I used to pick up my phone, TikTok and whatever social media wasn't like I had them in a folder and they were not in like the first place I would look. But I'd pick up my phone, look at my to do list or whatever, and then instinctively just like tap, tap, tick, tock. And now that there's I have to start typing to do it.
Distractible
Who Is Us?
There's enough of a thing where multiple times in the last week I've picked up my phone, done what I was meaning to do. And then in the middle of typing the word TikTok, been like, oh, why the fuck? And then put my phone down. It's like just enough where it's like I've dodged so many hours of extra social media bullshit. It's been awesome. It's been so good.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
You know, it's funny you mentioned the the thought experiment, like if you were able to map out every single thing and analyze every single particle in the universe, you'd be able to do it. I always think of that. And then I think of like the double slit experiment. which is where they fired an electron through two slits and they were able to do it one at a time.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And, you know, it created a wave pattern and they were like, OK, but how? And then they observed it or they took a measurement of which one it was going through. And that changed the outcome to be just two slits. So it changed from being a wave formation to like a very deterministic outcome.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
It depicts one or the other because we were looking at which one it goes through and it was like one or the other. And so I imagine a similar thing would happen if you tried to map out every single particle in the universe. The moment you do, they would change. And so I think it's almost a fallacy to believe that we...
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
it's a fallacy to believe we ever could map out every particle in the universe you'd have to have measurements on every single particle in the universe and that's actually impossible there is no way to do that the only way that that could ever occur is if all of the particles in the universe were to collapse down into a singular black hole because they've talked about this before of like um there's been videos and you know kurtzgesag made a video and there's deeper more accurate information out there about it but
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Accurate is only as far as our theories on how black holes work even go. But what that does is, in a way, because of our current understanding of light and matter, the moment that it crosses the event horizon over there, it's kind of like that particle obviously gets collapsed into the black hole, whether it's a singularity or not. But once it crosses there, it can never come back as it was.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
It's an effectively destroying the information of what that is. That's why it breaks physics a little bit, because it's just there's like laws of conservation of energy and information, because information is just.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
basically the the arrangement of those particles and it kind of writes all that information on the surface of the event horizon theoretically it doesn't literally it's just like you know hypothetically or looking at it in an abstract way it writes it but that determines okay this particle is this forever and therefore it will never change and therefore it never moves and therefore it's effectively dead um and so i think like with life and the universe in a greater capacity i
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
As it is right now and in a constant flux state, that's probably a very poorly explained and poorly accurate way of scientifically going like there probably is free will because, you know, it's really hard to determine anything. And the moment you observe anything, it kind of changes and things are so complex that we could never observe anything.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
So I'm like, yeah, probably free will up until it all ends, because that's the only not free thing we have.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
If you think, yeah, if you think of it from like a physics standpoint, a star will create a light particle. Its path is determined because no matter what, it's going to bounce against other particles. Yes. And that will change its trajectory. But the moment that it's born, that path is set. And let's say that path sends it in. Once it gets out of the star, it takes a long time.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
It's out of the star and it's gone. straight line, it's going to go and whether it gets curved by a black hole, whether it gets, you know, impacted, but it's going to hit something or, you know, maybe not, but it's going to go somewhere like that, that path is determined.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
So you could say from a physics standpoint, well, everything's determined, but also it's, I'm not 100% sure if that's true either, because there can be determined things in a system. And then there can still be choices that affect it because a light particle doesn't
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
think but also you break it down further you're like his thoughts just electrons filling down in your brain and it's like is the magic of the brain just collapsing those possibilities down into different particles or different deterministic moments at will is like it it chooses when to make things deterministic and in a Or you can just look at it like we're all going to die.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
We don't know when and we don't know what choice we makes makes that hypothetical light particle that can kill that will kill us. Let's just say it's just it's a light bullet that's coming straight for us. We don't know when that's going to hit us. But, you know, we we live in a box, even if it's the illusion of free will. It's a very convincing illusion.
Distractible
Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And at the end of the day, what's the difference between that and reality?
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
That goes back to what we were talking about before. That's the knowing where every particle is at any time. Because if you know that, if you had the ability to know where every particle, all the 10 to the 40-something power particles that are in existence, if you were to know where they are, you would know everything. That is the definition of knowing everything.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
You have the information of every single particle and the assembly of it, its relation to other particles around it. Because to know where something is, you have to base it on where everything else is around it, and you effectively know everything. The amount of data that that is is so unquantifiable to the human mind, you can't comprehend its magnitude.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
But if you knew that, that would be omniscience, right? It would literally be it. If you knew that, it would kind of go back to, well, would that just collapse everything? Because like that same light particle, when you when you're moving at the speed of light, everything else is basically static.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Yeah, it got to number four, and then all through the weekend it floated at five, so that's pretty good sustenance, in my opinion.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And but to a light particle, if it could think its journey from where it started to where it ended, it would be instantaneous. It never existed to its perspective, so it could never understand its existence. And I think the moment that it does, it kind of starts to probably slow down, you know, just because it's. Hold on. But it's it's over so fast for the light particle. It never it never.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
It basically effectively never was to the particle, but to everything else around it, observing the relativity of that, you know, it's different. So omniscience, if it did exist, it would exist in a way that we could never understand.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
I guess. Honestly, I don't think it would matter because if there was something that was like completely omniscient to the point where it could understand everything, like obviously like godliness and whatnot, it would exist like in a higher perspective than we could ever appreciate. What you throwing there, bud? There's a long cord and I pulled it and my speaker fell.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
I don't think if that knowledge doesn't stop everything immediately, then I don't think it matters for us inside the box because to us and our perspective and our experiences, all we have is the unfortunate circumstance of the very convincing illusion of free will. And therefore, all we do is think that we have free will. And therefore, there is no other. So both is and isn't.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
I think it's eight today, but this is like, by the time people hear this, it'll probably be at number one. If it gets to number one, Mark's already naked. I mean, I'm holding that in the back pocket just in case I need it. Because I do have the photos of what was supposed to be the third OnlyFans drop. I'm holding on to that just in case I need to bust out one last incentive to get it out there.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And in a way to whatever you want to call it, energy or substance or power, whatever it would take to know every particle is more than is in the universe itself, because it would take more than exists to know where everything is. Therefore, it would obviously exist outside of the universe.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And I think that distinction is very important because if it does take more than what is within, then it has to be without. And therefore, they don't even exist in the system that they are saying is deterministic. Therefore, the perspective is not only just different, it's impossible to distinguish.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
conflate with the experience within the system um so to to them we are also kind of both knowable and they will never know our perspective they probably could have they would probably have moral quandaries of whether we have free will or not you know it's uh it's it's interesting
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
So... Well, we can make Distractable number one again. Oh, man, dude, I'm busy. I can only focus on, you know, task switching. It's an ADHD thing. I can't. Yeah, I can't. How dare you ask me?
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Yeah, it's I think that probably the closest example of that we have of is twins, you know. They don't have the exact same brain, that's for sure, because they don't even have the exact same fingerprint. But it's pretty much a very similarly structured brain in a very similarly structured body.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And they have completely different experiences, different people, fundamentally different people for many. But when it comes down to, you know, our experiences, I know that when you call it the bicameral mind, it's not exactly pertaining to this. But I just love it how they say it in Westworld, the bicameral mind. Like, I love them talking about this, but the two mind thing.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
If you want to distinct it as like the mind and the body, those are the two things. And the mind, what we know as we as is like the passenger. We are not in control in some of these theories because we just get the leftover scraps of all the data that is taken into the body. But it happens so quickly and so, you know, succinctly that we have a very persistent illusion of our experience.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And this kind of goes with the not having free will kind of thing. But I don't think it's specifically about that, that we are just a passenger. I believe that the mind-body, if there is a separation, we're the tool for analysis further than what the brain has the capability of doing. It's a tool that the entity that we are has and has evolved to this point.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
It's a very, very useful tool because if the instincts and the structure change,
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
doesn't have the answer it's the same thing as what goes on in thyroid the thyroid is an amazing thing it's part of the immune system and the way it works is whenever there's a virus in the body that it doesn't know how to deal with the body can and will adapt to it not all of them because there are certain viruses that kind of exist outside of it but in the thyroid is an infinity engine of antibodies
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
almost infinite, but it cranks through random permutations at an incredible speed to try to find the answer to this virus. And that's if it detects it, you know, and if, you know, if it's compatible with, you know, human, human biology and stuff like that. But once it knows there's a threat, it will crank through these to get to it.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And in doing so, there's a danger to that because sometimes the antibody will affect the human body. It'll be like it can kill this thing, but it'll kill things. So there's actually cells on the way out of these antibodies of human cells of all variety to test against. So it not only gets an answer, it then tests against everything in the body.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And if it does, if it kills something in the body, it's like, well, we shouldn't use that. And it kind of scraps it out. It doesn't make these decisions, you know, intentionally. It does this automatically. And so what we might be is kind of just a big mental thyroid is like we are there sitting as like a passion in the sidecar.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
But when we're handed the controls, it's because the driving force of all this and it's the majority. Let's be honest. I don't know what's going on in each cell. The brain doesn't we the mind doesn't even know what's going on in the body half the time. can't control it and shouldn't control it, but at the same time is still serving a very important role.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And the mind that we have, even if it's mostly an illusion, might be the only scrap of free will that exists. Like free will might be an evolutionarily developed... To kind of help the entire being survive, because it needs to have this imagination and planning for futures and kind of plotting out possibilities, even considering possibilities to survive.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
enhance the entity's ability to survive so it it kind of can be a both thing because you have the blueprint and the instincts they're in and then you take in information and what it can answer quickly because the human mind you're thinking is not very fast compared to everything else and it's like we can't figure this out uh you go like we are the jesus that takes the wheel because the mind's just like i can't fucking figure it out
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Do this. And you're like, oh, OK, I get it now, you know. And then, yeah, that's that's probably what I would probably think is a fun way to look at it.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Probably the question boils down to how complex does determinism need to be to functionally be free will? Because at a certain point, the complexity reaches that inflection point where it crosses over to being like it's impossible for the entire system to fully map out every possibility. So not knowing that it's so complex could be.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
But I think one of the ways that the mind does have a kind of not just passenger capacity is the mind is the driver of change in the body. The rest of the brain is changed by the mind's answers. It's changed. So its deterministic processes are functionally changed because of the conclusions that you reach. This is how learning functionally works.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Your nerves make connections that are driven by the patterns that your conscious mind takes in. It's offloading to the subconscious mind, but you learn and muscle memory exists because it was driven by this engine.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
whether this engine is deterministic or not it's like a just a more complex one i think it's a fascinating and really interesting connection because it affects change both ways and it can break down that's how like anxiety can cause extreme conflicts and lead to depression and like these these imbalances can cause like the the balance is very very fragile between the two uh processes i believe this is all just conjecture i'm just like i'm just talking out my ass
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
But I think that the fact that it's not just a one way thing, it's not just taking in, but the mind can affect change on the rest of the system, even if it's a system going, oh, that's in conclusion, I will change myself. But I think I think it's more intertwined than that.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And that intertwining of deterministic functions where I go, like, how complex do these deterministic things need to be to become functionally free will?
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Is that a West? That's a Westworld reference, right? Yeah, I've not seen Westworld. I need to see it. You should. You would love the philosophical discussion of the first season. Then stop.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
It is really nice. If it just existed as a one season limited series, it would be up there with one of the most fascinating series possible.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
For anyone wondering, it is an HBO show, so there's a gratuitous amount of nudity and sex. Oh, and violence. And violence. But in a way, it's like those themes, I would never make a project with that much sex and nudity, but the themes do tie in with, those do tie in with the theme, but it's just so you know.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
You would like Westworld. It is basically this question in a show. Literally on the poster of Westworld is at the top. Free will is not free.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
The problem is season one ends in, you know, I think it was meant to be a one season kind of thing. And they were like, this was so popular. Let's make more. You know, they tried and it's not bad, but it's hard to keep that going, especially if you're like, we need more seasons, especially more after if it was also like just a second season.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
That's another different story of like, don't worry about continuing it. But I think like season one's ending is both open ended and also conclusive. And I think that's where the trouble began. That's the philosophical discussion of it is like, you know, it's very interesting.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
I haven't seen that one either. Alex Garland is the maker of that movie. Also made Annihilation and I think made Sunshine. So if you know what Sunshine is, I really like Sunshine. I got to rewatch it. It's kind of like a I don't think it was too terribly successful, but the sun needed a reboot. So they sent a ship out to the sun.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
think of uh journey of uh not journey to the center of the earth but go down and let's put nukes in the center of the earth and restart the core you know that movie no it's like that but for the sun but it's very the style of of sunshine i fucking love it's it's very very pretty and and i don't know space you know you you like space uh yeah i like space is cool except for the moon
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
apparently that movie you're referencing is called the core of the core of course there's a reddit post about sunshine i just i just looked up and it's like talking about how like arguably one of the best sci-fi horror films of all time but and you know it goes into detail but the top comment is zero out of ten no one says it's daylight savings time damn it i mean that is just right there
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
You can lens if you want to. It was determined that I would win this episode from the moment I was born to every decision leading up to here, which was illusions. Decisions more like delusions, you know? So we all are part of an orchestrated dance by no will of our own. But I won, and so I feel good about that. So that's the only thing that matters. I don't care if it's deterministic.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
I feel great, and that is awesome. You know what else is great? Drugs. They make you feel super good. So why don't you just succumb to the decisions that were made for you already. Let's do drugs. Well said. I'm the winner.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
I wonder if the owner, whoever bought InVision afterwards, figured out that I was only there to scout out to see if they were going to go out of business.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
What else would you sacrifice your firstborn for?
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Okay, but if you didn't, yeah. Bob Subaru, would you sacrifice for that?
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
actually you know it it is probably just production is a bit difficult like anytime you're making a physical physical product it's always going to be a bit harder than anything else so i mean you can't really fault it right no i fault it i want it give me yeah you can't really fault it i'm a consumerism who lives under capitalism i need it and i want it now all right good small talk i'm gonna give myself a point there
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
If it's not that movie, I don't want to see it. Yeah, well, I think I think we can rest assured in the age of AI. If it's not that movie now, it will be that movie.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Hi. I'm sitting down. I believe that standing is against God.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
No, no, no. I think... Well, give me the points. But I think it's one of those questions. It's very... I mean, this is obviously philosophy, right? And moral theories and whatnot. It's like, it's very hard to end the debate because there... Like what we talked about last time, there is...
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
really no way to objectively prove it because the objective point of view is kind of beyond our ability to comprehend. You would need to have a bird's eye view of the branching path of your life. If that exists, if you don't have free will, then it's not a branching path, but you would need to have like that overview effect of the full course of it.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And it's a perspective that we as people can't ever really achieve because Because we can only kind of predict the future and then look into the past, right? I'm a believer of that we have free will. And probably as we continue to talk about it, I'll probably push that a bit further. But it's also just because I kind of ascribe to that belief just because it helps me.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
And I mean, a lot of belief-based systems come from a perspective of you rally under the banner that... you feel personally helps you. It helps me move forward in my life to believe that there is free will because that coincides with what I want to believe, right? And that's driven by the wants that I have in my life in general.
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Wadey’s Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
So by wanting there to be free will and opposing the idea that there isn't, it helps align me with going forward and moving forward with my life. Whether or not that's a true statement is whatever. And I can and probably will eventually defend why I think it is. But at the end of the day, on a more objective standpoint, it's because it helps me.
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Right In The Sauce Box
You don't want to get the sad cabbage. That'll mess you up. Sorry, this is so much louder than I ever thought it would be.
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Right In The Sauce Box
this is officially an asmr podcast now oh god i had another coin here because it's a it's a aztec calendar sun and moon coin and i was like hey that'd be cool i'll flip that a few times it'll be fun actually made by the aztecs oh no oh okay oh actually it's just a moon and then i think it's an aztec calendar kind of design
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Right In The Sauce Box
probably why it doesn't anymore i guess yeah i remember though cabbage could be a or lettuce or clams isn't that although i've heard on a podcast so you know it's true didn't they say like clams was that because when once upon a time the oceans were actually full of life and food and you know same thing actually am i right anyway there were so many clams that you could just go out in the river and pick them up and they kind of used to like everything clamshells
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Right In The Sauce Box
Mark, this one is much more simple than it may seem. It's a dance based off of a penguin's waddle.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Can I call someone about this? You can ask Bob if you'd like. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He doesn't know what it is, so... What was it again? In the ketchup.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Is this dub? Yeah, it's like to pass on a victory or pass on in the death context or pass as in your test. You passed it.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Can I call Bob now? Can I call him? Sure. Editors, make it seem like I'm calling him.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Ah, oh, no, yeah, that's a British slang for that. I thought Anons was just a dumbass, but I guess, whatever.
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Right In The Sauce Box
pretty good that's pretty good uh clearly it's to close the trap on your drug sting operation and you nail the suspect right in the middle of it oh okay trapping a mouse here here little mousy come into my trap why is it andy sandberg pretending to be nicholas cage in this episode
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Right In The Sauce Box
Sad to say no gun updates this week, guys. It's actually not my next hyper fixation. As many as the gun tubing world wishes it was, it sadly is not. CNCs! I ordered one. It's happening. It is happening. Yes. And, and, and there's a company that I'm going to talk about because I want them to not give me, I'll buy them, but it's an unreleased thing. So there's a company called X horse 3d, right?
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Right In The Sauce Box
I'm really only using 10% of my brain power. 90% of the time. I'm gonna crank it up to 11.
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Right In The Sauce Box
have you seen my fat pp not in a couple years no all right this is kind of advertising another youtuber's merch i don't know but i want to i want to work with them i'll reach out eventually you see this thing you see that is that a knife oh you know it is oh for fuck's sake wow
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Right In The Sauce Box
Right? Anyway, sorry. I just thought this was cool. It's like, you know, you could fit it in that fifth pocket and it's kind of always... That is nice.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Yeah, well, anyway, that was tying into my guess. So my guess is actually it's when you're ice skating and you try to pull a move that's way above your pay grade. Your fly falls open. Your dick flops out. You got a fly ring situation.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Strange name, but thank you. Welcome. They're making a desktop-sized five-axis CNC mill. If you remember what I was talking about with five-axis CNC mills, they start at 100K. This one, they say, is going to be around $9,000 to $10,000. And for a five-axis CNC, even though it's not very big, the build volume is quite small.
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Right In The Sauce Box
That's too bad. All right, so... That was easy. Yeah. Man, you really just flipped there. Yeah, she rolled really high in her cruise mode right there. Hell yeah. Nosebagger is... This is just someone doing cocaine.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Anyway, I don't know why everything I'm saying is cop-based, but it's someone that wanted to be a detective, but just couldn't make the cut. They were not up to dick.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Man, I know what's going to be put in the wheel this episode. Most times censored.
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Right In The Sauce Box
It's when you go up to a girl, you're like, can I swim in your sauce box? Oh, don't worry. I mean your mouth. And then it's all good. Then it's all good. They're like, oh, sure.
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Right In The Sauce Box
It's the fifth element. You know, you got your water bender, your air bender, your earth bender, your fire bender, and then you got your pretzel bender.
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Right In The Sauce Box
That would blow my mind more than almost any other magic trick I could possibly witness. That would ruin my perception of reality.
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Right In The Sauce Box
I don't fucking know, man. What do you find me to know? His was the good answer. His was the good answer. What else could it mean? What else could it possibly mean?
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Right In The Sauce Box
I'm going to look at Ryobi. I don't want to play anymore. I'm looking at Ryobi tools. I'm going to my comfort place. Let me go look at Ryobi. What do they got? What do you got that's new? I don't want to be here anymore.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Anyway, so this, even though that seems like an exorbitantly high price, $9,000 or $10,000, that is incredibly accessible for a 5-axis machine. And so to have something like that is really, really interesting to me because it opens up this whole world.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Thank you for this lovely opportunity to participate, even though I lost. I declare all of this illegal. And if you don't believe me, I will beat you until you're unconscious. That's what justice is all about. And that's what I'm going to do. But as the loser, I have to accept fairness for what it is.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Precision machining is such an advanced field in terms of manufacturing, but the reason why some of those machines cost so much is because if you have them... You make money, they are money making machines. It's, it's kind of this level of production that a lot of other companies can't have access to unless you're a very large player in the space.
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Right In The Sauce Box
And people will commission that for a lot of money because they need parts made. And so it's, it's not that you just buy a machine, you'll instantly make all the money you want. It's still, you gotta run a smart business about it, but it's like, it's just, it's accessible and it's cool.
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Right In The Sauce Box
The distance between the longest points of a four inch cube is 6.9 inches. That's respectable.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Not many laughs and goofs in headlines that I can find. So, yeah.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Well, there was a point of fighting over it. I was getting really upset.
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Right In The Sauce Box
Always up. The only time I've gone down the stairs in a semi-planned, unplanned manner was when I was in the coffin box and Ethan slid me down the stairs. Fucking love that clip.
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Big Dog Energy
I honestly forget a lot of it, but there's a sequence where the guy's like an assassin, I think, and he uses a gun like that But he disguises it as a crutch so he can like sneak into an area that's like patrolled by troops or something. But then he gets into his, he takes his crutch apart, puts together the weapon and whatever. And he's like assassinating.
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Big Dog Energy
But he has like a special, he doesn't shoot a regular 22 round. He shoots some kind of special exploding one because it makes the melon explode when he shoots it, when he's practicing. I don't know. So it's not stupid. Okay, it's an assassin's weapon. You're right, it's an assassin's weapon. And when that one shoots only once, nobody's surprised. Yeah, okay. It's okay, Mark.
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Big Dog Energy
It was this past week was like crazy cold, like sub-zero actual temperatures, which is not that cold if you live in a cold place. But in Ohio, it doesn't really get that cold. It is currently eight degrees. Which feels like warm in comparison. When you open the door to let the dog out and it's negative four degrees and windy, your whole body is like...
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Big Dog Energy
I want to be clear, a bit shorter than all of us. All of us collectively, we're all the same height. Ish. Even if we were not for whatever reason, smaller than all of us.
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Big Dog Energy
Oh, you definitely give off small dog energy. Yeah, yeah. Why are you talking about that like it's a bad thing? I give off small dog energy. I don't know. I don't know what it means exactly. I guess I don't give off small dog energy because I got big dogs. I mean this in the least judgmental way possible, and I know we were just really giving it to you. So I hope this is not offensive.
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Big Dog Energy
You a little bit give off cat energy. No, no, that's fine. Yeah, no, I've I've had cats, too. I know some people like really don't like cats and that's not you. But like you cat and kind of big ish dog. I say ferret, ferret, ferret, ferret. I'm not picking up on that at all. No, I just ferret energy is very unique. You don't mistake that. I've only ever known one person with ferret.
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Big Dog Energy
I don't know exactly what is small dog energy, but I think you and I both give off big small dog energy.
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Big Dog Energy
But anyway, it got me thinking about what kind of energy we give off as far as dogs. And I guess we just went through that. But I thought maybe we would talk about specifics. Like what kind of dog do you see when you look at me? Oh, I thought you were going to say, like, Mark gives off small gun energy, small bullet energy. You did this to yourself. Oh, I thought I had to.
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Big Dog Energy
You know, wait, so total tangent. You know, I have a truck now, right? Nothing makes me feel smaller than I'm up in my truck. It's huge. I'm way up high. I look at this car for a minute. Wow, this is a small car. Park my truck. You know, and park. Hit the parking brake. It goes. And I open the door and I drop two feet. And I hit the ground and I go, whoa.
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Big Dog Energy
nothing makes me feel at my average perfectly average height that feeling of of it's like you know when you're piloting a jaeger in pacific rim and you step out you're like i miss being huge what happened to me to get one of those slides they use for emergency evac on the airplanes
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Big Dog Energy
But yeah, so apparently for the way furnaces work is there's like an exhaust. It burns natural gas and that exhausts outdoors because of health reasons. But that exhaust is humid and our exhaust for our natural gas for our furnace
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Big Dog Energy
open the door just every single time you don't pack it back up you wait when you park it's like when you go to leave you just rip it off and leave it in the parking spot imagine him going to the country and getting out of his truck mark hops down there's this giant dude next to him mark goes oh no i left my 22 lrs up in the cab oh god gets out climbing gear like strap in No, that's scary though.
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Big Dog Energy
I don't have a lot of like trucks or anything in my life, but when I do like ride in a pickup truck or like I've had a rental Jeep Gladiator, which is like the Jeep pickup truck. When you go to get out of a car and you're used to normal driving,
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Big Dog Energy
low to the ground cars and you like fall out it's kind of terrifying it's not my favorite yeah it's the perspective they do say like um when people drive they do sort of embody their car that already is like extra the humanism what is the terminology like
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Big Dog Energy
transhumanism so it's like you you kind of become your vehicle and that's why certain people get really really proud of their big big vehicles but you know even as a tall person if i had a truck i would want those like step bars that they have dude have you seen the automatic folding ones yeah cool those things are tall they're tall even for tall people but it's so oh man it's so great i can haul anything i fucking love the truck i was always small sport car guy now i'm like i kind of like suv i like being big
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Big Dog Energy
I don't know if I would enjoy living with a pickup, but I feel like if I was going to, it would need to be like lowered and not squatted because I don't want to look like an idiot. But like there are like like drag race pickup trucks. I watch a couple of guys who do drag racing like lowered, like the wheel tucks up under the fender arch type things. Those look sick.
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Big Dog Energy
just get hydraulics when you need to get out you lower the front too and you just get out what like a bus that kneels for people who have mobility issues i mean i'm sure they do make a truck like that and nowadays yeah and then you can drive around like like it was cool in the 90s to do still cool today still cool man still cool honestly it is pretty cool still it's kind of scary in like a oh please don't break your car kind of way but it's very cool
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Big Dog Energy
froze in the time between when it cycled off because it reached whatever temperature we set it to and wanted to turn back on because it was 64 degrees inside the house and it literally i had to go out in negative five or whatever negative whatever degrees weather at in the middle of the night in the dark holding a flashlight in my mouth and a hacksaw blade in my in my hands that were freezing and i couldn't feel them and just go up to the exhaust and go hey
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Big Dog Energy
I love it when they're doing a demonstration and it's going so high, it's like vertical and they're just going until it breaks. And then the whole axle just goes like straight out the front. That's always fun. I love the clips that you see of guys going. It's like competition. So they're both trying to go as vertical as possible. And it always ends with one guy who's just like...
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Big Dog Energy
Falls over on the roof. Car destroyed. It's like, God damn it. Man, that really took a turn. Did I win? You could total a car without it even moving. You can. You jump from a high place and land on it. Or you throw an elephant on there. Throw an elephant. I like your style.
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Big Dog Energy
thank you back to animals though right right animals what kind of dog did you say i looked like i think bob you gave one already it was kind of a joke i kind of trampled all over but i'll say it again see if it works mexican hairless hairless i heard mexican something i was like oh mexican terrier i don't know what that is hairless because i'm bald give me the points
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Big Dog Energy
Okay, so it's because right now you have your beard is a little grayer, but your mustache is darker. You give off a Japanese chin. Actually, I just looked up a picture. It's kind of inverse, but for some reason I'm getting Japanese chin. My mom and my stepdad had one. His name was Charlie. He was such a good dog. Passed away several years ago now, but cute as can be. Oh, they are cute.
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Big Dog Energy
I'll take that. I was going to say my serious answer is so there's a problem with this. But because also of the beard situation, you look like a Scotty to me, like a Scottish terrier in the face. But Scottish terriers, if you look up some pictures, tend to be a little bit on the short side. And that does not match up with you very well.
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Big Dog Energy
But now you guys each other. Mark, look into my eyes. All right. Well, would you like me to offer you the same? Sure. Yes. I'm trying to think. I actually don't know the name of the species. I have a picture of it. I know yours. You want me to say it? Yes, yes. It's full on Labradoodle because they have way too human eyes. And so they look like that when they're like giving people the side eye.
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Big Dog Energy
Oh, I could see that. They do have way too human eyes. Yeah, their eyes are suspiciously human. And so when they look, they're just like... It's like the blue eyes meme, but dog. Oh, right. Okay, I was so close. There it is. It's funny because while you're not short, you're of a perfectly average height. This is a very tall dog. It's something about the face that you made and your hair.
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Big Dog Energy
Give me big Afghan hound energy. ah right afghan hound oh how beautiful it's a majestic breed oh beautiful well thank you i appreciate that i guess you were just giving really tall energy thank you thank you look at this god jeez i don't like Why did the soul of someone's grandfather get trapped in that dog? Is that Bob? No, that's someone else, dude. That's not me. That was kind of Bob.
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Big Dog Energy
I was getting Bob vibes from this. Lovely dog. If you have one, lovely. But it's also the way the bottom lip and the teeth there really look just... I don't know. Maybe this... I hope this picture has been altered because... Have you seen pictures of them like sitting like people to the Labradoodles will like sit up and but like their arms will hang down.
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Big Dog Energy
Like if you looked at it, you'd be like, oh, that's like a kid in a costume. But it's actually just a dog. It's very unsettling. I bet. I'm unsettled already. Next up is cats. When we look at each other, what cats do we see? Man, I don't even know enough cats. Brown, orange. I'm guessing you guys see like, what, a sphinx when you look at me, the bald one?
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Big Dog Energy
And to get through the ice enough to where it would ignite the furnace and warm our house. I did that three separate times. It was an awesome night. I love being cold. I've never had that happen. I didn't know that was possible. I assumed the furnace loved it when it's cold outside. That's what it's built for. You certainly think so. You certainly think so, yes. I'm with you.
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Big Dog Energy
What's that creepy one that people have and they keep them on a pillow and it's like high maintenance? Is that the Sphinx cat? Maybe. If it's hairless. There's only the one hairless, I think. Nah, they're probably more hairless. There are at least six, it looks like. There's Sphinx, Bambino, Peterbald, Donskoy, Lyokoy, Lykoy, Lykoy, I don't know.
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Big Dog Energy
I have no idea. Probably spell it out like that. L-Y-K-O-Y. One of the MLOI KOIs. That's like a thing. I don't know. No, actually, I wasn't going to make that joke again. One, because that's just lazy. There's also big cats. Don't forget like panthers and stuff like that. You don't have to go with only house cats. What kind of cat is Garfield? The orange one. The tabby?
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Big Dog Energy
I could ask the internet, I guess. Wait, maybe? Tabby's can be orange? No, no, no, no, no. yes i've heard that orange ones are very they're dumb but i don't know i didn't know that apparently persian tabby is the top possible breed but also could be some kind of exotic short hair or british short hair anyway you give off
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Big Dog Energy
Not, like, grumpy, because he's grumpy a lot, but you give off, like, Garfield vibes, like, after he just pounded that whole lasagna, and he's like, everything's good, and he's chilling. Is this me or Wade? Wade. Oh, damn it. Yeah, me. Garfield. Bob, you're straight up, because of the beard, Maine Coon. Is that a kind of cat? Maine Coons are cool, yeah. Yeah, it's also one of the biggest. Ooh.
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Big Dog Energy
They have a very distinctive face. It's more like a tiger face that got squooshed down, but also still a very large cat. Oh, I've seen these fellers. Yeah, okay. I like that. I think those guys are cool. Now for Mark. Mark, what kind of cat are you? I have no idea. The personality is all wrong, but aesthetically, can I just say that Mark gives me Keter's energy in a way? Like my cat, Keters?
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Big Dog Energy
Yeah, no, Keters is not a species of cat. The only thing in the entire world I know called Keters is nipples and your cat. So yes, your cat.
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Big Dog Energy
Okay. Yeah, okay. All right, so for those out there, Keters is kind of shy, but he loves attention. Whenever he warms up, he's like, pet me, feed me. He's become more vocal as he's gotten older. I don't think Bob's saying he likes to shit on the floor like Keters does. No, it's more of the look. It's like his facial structure. I don't know. It's hard to capture. Just flip a picture of him.
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Big Dog Energy
That would be the easiest thing in the world for me to do. You probably have some. I don't, because he's not my cat. Anyway, I don't know how much you know Keeter's Mark, but he's a little bit of an a-hole sometimes, but he's a good guy. It's been a while, though, I guess. Yeah.
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Big Dog Energy
yeah well we were over there over the summer so long ago now yeah it feels like it was like a year ago i don't yeah that captures it pretty good no there you go yeah not angry but serious he's a very unique and beautiful cat uh he's always like he gets a lot of attention at the vet everyone's like your cat looks so exotic he has almost like cartoony features the way the like dramatic cheekbone lines that he has and stuff he's a very interesting looking cat
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Big Dog Energy
He's also got the, it's kind of a rare thing, I think, but he's got black fur, but underneath his fur is all white. You can kind of see the white and gray patches. Literally, since he's been a kitten, he's had black fur, but as soon as you lift up his fur, everything underneath is white. He's never changed color. He's always stayed a black cat, but somehow all the under fur is white.
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Big Dog Energy
My inside's a different color, too. There we go. Wow. What a guy. Look how big his dick is.
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Big Dog Energy
I think it was his tail, but... He's a five-legged cat. Yeah. Alright, so Mark's a Keters, I'm a something... A Garfield, whatever the hell Garfield is. Something tabby. Mark was a Maine Coon. I think the Maine Coons... No, Bob was a Maine Coon. Bob was a Maine Coon. I think Maine Coons look really cool. They do look cool. They're big, too. I've actually seen one of those in person.
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Big Dog Energy
I'm glad you're warm now. In my life, where it's all warm, a little too warm where I am. You can say that again. There was actually another fire. Did I tell you about that? Did we talk about that? Wait, what? Yeah, there was another fire. Not in L.A., north of L.A., north of Santa Clarita. It blossomed from a 50-acre fire to a 10,000-acre fire in the matter of eight hours.
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Big Dog Energy
They're bigger than they look in pictures. They're cool. I am also bigger than I look in pictures. People are always surprised. Everyone always thinks I'm really short. Everyone's always surprised when I'm tall. I guess I give off short energy. I don't know. Big short energy. Yeah. Sorry. Did you see the chuckle sandwich podcast that I was on? I did.
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Big Dog Energy
And once again, it was us in my mom's kitchen because I was in the middle and they're both six foot three and like six foot four, man. You were in a curved bench, so they were both several feet closer to the camera than you were. So it's just like the absolute same exact situation where I've just diminutively shrunk into the distance. Always fair. Love those guys. Such good chemistry, you know?
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Big Dog Energy
oh yeah oh yeah i can tell you guys really got along probably had a heck of a fun uh after you know post post show i'm missing something you gotta watch it chuckle sandwich last ever guest episode coming to an end okay gotta check it out because of mark yep no not because of mark but a little but not we've only ever had one guest and it was jesus so are we gonna do better than that
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Big Dog Energy
We're going to go straight from cat to insect. Man, you're testing my knowledge of insects. It doesn't have to be complicated. You don't have to be like, ah, yes, the Taiwanese chop-chop-noppy. Well, there goes my guess. The Taiwanese chop-chop-noppy. That was exactly what I was thinking when I was looking at your face. Straight up Taiwanese chop-chop-noppy. Ah, shit. Too late now.
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Big Dog Energy
Sorry, I didn't mean to spoil it. You're going to be a stink bug after that, dummy. Wade, I know. I know the answer. You give off big caterpillar from the circus in a bug's life energy.
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Big Dog Energy
i'm a beautiful butterfly yes yes yes you know the man yeah that's yeah yeah okay yeah that's a great that's you yeah i can't even argue it i want to but like i really can't i feel like it's hard to pin mark down to it and you don't you don't give off a lot of insect energy thanks thank you i'm Your casual nonchalance is very... You know what? Actually, that's a good one. That led me to it.
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Big Dog Energy
You give off pretty strong praying mantis energy. Ooh. Because praying mantises are, like, badass and generally look cool or really cool, depending on the species. But also, they just can't fucking be bothered to care about anything. They could be in imminent peril, and they're just going to be like, I'm going to move real slow. I'm going to walk over here. I'm not going to walk.
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Big Dog Energy
They just like are unbothered. Even when my head is being eaten alive, I still had sex. So whatever. Who else in this bush just had sex? I thought so. yeah again you know that's such a kind thoughtful response which really poisons to what i was gonna say no no stick to it stick to your guns i like this okay they only shoot one bullet at a time so i'm not afraid look okay cockroach but hear me out
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Big Dog Energy
Here we are. Okay, okay. It's, you know, a survivor. I'll change my answer. I'll change it. No, I'll change it. It's so good. I'll take the hang cockroach. You know, you got... Ooh, those are cool ones. Deceptive. You can get anywhere. Don't they all fly? Some of them don't. I should have said cicada. Before or after it gets wings? Like pupa stage or like full wing? Full wing.
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Big Dog Energy
I think he's saying I have an annoying voice. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying... It sounds like 30,000 insects crackling their wings all together or however the fuck they make that noise. Yeah, how do they make that noise? I have no idea. Rubbing their legs like crickets? I don't even know. Is it bad that looking at a cicada pupa, I see me? Look at that goofy little shit.
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Big Dog Energy
Was it in conjunction with another wind blast from the... Apparently, yeah. There was a sudden wind event up there. This is mostly forest, but it's like a low population area up there. Still bad. Not saying it's any better because of that. But you should have seen WatchDuty because I have the pro version of WatchDuty. I paid for pro. And so you can see the aircraft... going towards that fire.
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Big Dog Energy
You know that tiny spider that has like the shoop and it's like a little peacock. Jumping spider. Yeah. Jumping spider. You know that. Yeah. How about that? And they shuffle around and they're all. Don't eat me. Yeah. How about that? Yeah. Jumping spiders are nice. I can see some Bob in a jumping spider. Okay, cool. All right.
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Big Dog Energy
Look, I wasn't mad about the cockroach, honestly. That's okay. I didn't mean it like, you know, that. I looked up the ugliest insects. Go figure. Dung beetle. No, not on here. Oh. No. Cockroach is here. But there's some horrifying ones. What's next? Shrimp species? Shrimp? Yeah. Which shrimp energy do you give off? I don't know. I was just guessing. No, not yet. Plants.
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Big Dog Energy
All right, I already know what Mark is. I'm trying to figure out what Wade is. Do you want yours, Mark? Sure, I'll take it. You are a majestic ivy. You are relentless. You find the thing and you focus on the thing until you reach the top. And then you just find the next thing, and that's the new thing you focus on.
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Big Dog Energy
You are a century-old ivy that's grown all the way up the side of an enormous building on a respectable college campus somewhere. Yeah, okay. Bob, I know what you are. Uh-huh? You are the Whomping Willow. Huh. Where you're big, bold, tough, strong, willing to pummel those stupid teenagers for flying a car into you. Ah, okay. But you have a tender, sweet spot that if it gets pressed, you relax.
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Big Dog Energy
That's you. Plus I have a shack in my ass. That's true. That's true. Boy, does it shriek. Yep. Yeah. And full of criminals. Just full of criminals. Yeah. Lots of stuff goes on. Alleged criminals. Alleged. I'm trying to pin down Wade. This is going to sound like it's for a certain reason, and it's not for that reason. It's for other reasons. But, Wade, you give me big watermelon ideas.
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Big Dog Energy
find energy watermelon because i watermelons are associated with me the plants they're they're a summer plant right and so watermelons are just always like a good time like no matter what is happening if you're near a watermelon plant if you're seeing one if you're harvesting a watermelon it's like always because a good time is happening or is about to happen and you're always like all right watermelon cool cool i do like good time you like a good time you're always a good time
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Big Dog Energy
You agree with watermelon, Mark? Yeah, well, I mean, I didn't know we could deny this. And it's not because of bald and shiny watermelon. That's unrelated. Mark, I had you as a purple wisteria tree. Oh, fucking why? How dare you? A purple wisteria tree? Oh, never mind. Thank you. That's beautiful. Holy shit, look at that tree. What is that? That's amazing.
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Big Dog Energy
It's like a weeping willow, but all lavender. I've never seen this in my life. This can't be real. Ooh. That's pretty. How do you know? This didn't exist. I swear to God, there's some things in this universe that we wake up and someone says something like this and I'm like, I would have heard about this. I would have heard about this tree. It can't be real. It's not real.
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Big Dog Energy
And it's like D-Day invasion of just nonstop helicopters planes just out of LA and just gunning it for their... Yeah, as far as I know, they contained it. And it was like extremely fast-growing fire. Well, okay, it's not fully contained. Where it is right now, it's 36% containment. But they've started to send planes and helicopters away because they're like, we don't need you anymore.
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Big Dog Energy
I like that the explanation of this tree is like, oh, it's beautiful. Oh, it's lovely. Very high maintenance tree. It needs lots and lots of taking care of. Constant problem. Beautiful, though. I was kind of a backhanded one. Wait, I'm not going to lie.
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Big Dog Energy
I'm sorry. Bless you. I don't know how to pronounce this. Is this actually the name of the flower? I don't know if this is actually the name. Maybe it's Passionflower?
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Big Dog Energy
rata rana i'm getting nothing i might have been looking at just like the name of someone or a website i think it's a passion flower what in the world again you made this up this didn't exist and you willed it into being how in the hell i don't know the ones i saw just had a lot of purple which i think i associate with bob whoa those are cool it's probably the purple but i saw it i was just like bob looks like a flower they'd have in like um like animal crossing
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Big Dog Energy
And you'd see it and be like, that's not a real flower, but it is somewhere. It's just like, Not anywhere you'd actually see it. For anyone that's just listening and is absolutely furious that we are not saying anything, everything before is, like I said, it's like a tree with lavender.
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Big Dog Energy
This, this sumbitch, it looks like a purple version of the Angry Sun from Mario, but with more nightmarish tendrils coming out of it, and the center is a five-sided, three-arched,
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Big Dog Energy
thingamabob in other words it's like a white and purple flower is that is not an apt description of what this is people are gonna put that in their head and they're gonna be like then they look at this and they're like what in the junji ito holy shit is that that's nightmare it's kind of wild looking yeah it's very like alien never seen anything like that ever in my life oh some of these different variety like very varietals of it are interesting dude there's like a the red one
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Big Dog Energy
Yeah, that's fine. That looks normal-ish, minus the weird center thing. Crazy stuff, man. The amazing but problematic passion flower. Just can't stop saying slurs, this flower. So goddamn problematic. Never learned.
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Big Dog Energy
Next up, what shape bacteria best fit? What kind of mad lib are you building out of this? I got to suspect that there's some ulterior motive. What shape bacteria? If you can figure it out, Mark, you'll win the episode. What even shape bacteria are there? Besides like a pill shape. Rod shaped. Spiral shaped. Sphere shaped. Bob's a tardigrade. That's not a bacteria.
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Big Dog Energy
No, I'm embarrassed. You just went right for it. I'm embarrassed. I want to be, what are those things called? Water teddies? Those are tardigrades rock. I want to be a tardigrade. Plus they're like, they're like unkillable. Uh, no, that's not a bacteria. Can't make it happen. Sorry, I tried. Did you almost say sperm-shaped? Is that what you were going for? Yeah, sperm.
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Big Dog Energy
There's only like three shapes of bacteria. What even is this question? Spherical, rod, spiral, comma, and corkscrew. Common? Comma, I guess. Vibrios? Wade's a rod, and Mark is a shorter rod. Thanks, man. Everyone's rods to me. All I see is rods.
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Big Dog Energy
Sphere for Mark? Really? He's just kind of like, he's well-rounded. I don't like this. Ah, I got it. There's also filamentous, star-shaped, rectangular, and hyphae. Bob gives straight hyphae energy. Yeah, I feel it. All hyphae all day. It's like a vein-like structure. That's you, Bob. I'm pretty veiny.
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Big Dog Energy
not fully contained it might actually be but they have to verify everywhere yeah well getting i think you said explain this because we talked about this a bunch but getting containment is actually a really high bar right if they think an area is contained it literally means there couldn't be fire there if someone was trying to be an arson arson do an arson i love that that's a voice we're doing now
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Big Dog Energy
no listen okay so we just took james to the aquarium so i have a lot of fish fresh in the brain right now they all look exactly the same no well okay kind of a lot of them do but i i actually saw i saw this one and thought to myself oh that reminds me of wade i don't think it's very flattering but i'm gonna stick to the truth that's okay there's a part in the newport aquarium where there's a eel tank
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Big Dog Energy
And it's like those yellow, like neon yellow eels. It's like the eel from Super Mario 64, but it's not that big. It's like the moray eels. I think they were morays. They're the neon yellow ones. Anyway, there's like the way the display set up. It's like the eels live in this shipwreck.
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Big Dog Energy
And literally we walked up to it and one of them was just like, and stuck just his head out of the shipwreck port, which is like,
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Big Dog Energy
and just stood there and looked and something about it i was just like man makes me think of wade i don't know if the voice impression gets flattering matched energy in a way that i could not it was inexplicable yellow eel i don't mark it's hard to pin down mark mark is crab is a crab a kind of fish i don't think so different king not kingdom but different f
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Big Dog Energy
phylum phylus different phallus completely different phallus i'm just gonna share my screen because this is this is basically what i saw hey that's what i saw and that's the thing where i was like somehow weight energy i can get that yeah i see it it's a yellow eel for the listeners you're welcome mark how do you feel about this one which one a hairy frogfish How dare you, you son of a bitch.
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Big Dog Energy
That's awful, man. That's, that's terrible. Oh, it's got legs. Oh, it's got stumpy little feet. Yeah. That's the, that's the kind of fish that doesn't swim very well. And it, they have, they have like nose pieces that are like fake worms that are bait. And then they have their bottom, their like bottom fins are more like little proto legs and they like hop, which is why they're frog fish.
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Big Dog Energy
They literally sit on the bottom and dangle their nose bait, and then when something gets in front of them, they're all, and they just hop at it and try and snatch it. What about the blue one, Mark? The blue hairy frogfish? I don't know. Is that even real? It looks like AI if we're looking at the same blue one. I don't know.
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Big Dog Energy
I feel a revenge forthcoming. No, Bob. And not many people know that this is a fish. Whale shark. Ooh, it is a fish. It's a fish, not a shark. Very smart. I like that. Yes, yes. See? I love whale sharks. I love shit with confusing names. They have whale sharks at the Atlanta Aquarium. Really? How do they even contain it? They are very large. Gigantic. Like whale-sized.
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Big Dog Energy
That's crazy. I like that. That's interesting. Yeah. I would say, like, if a basking shark was a type of fish, I would have said that. I do feel like the whale shark has the vibe of a thing that was named by the first three-year-old that ever encountered it. Because it popped up and someone clearly was like, ah, what is that? Oh, it kind of looks like a shark. Ah, but the front, it's big.
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Big Dog Energy
Is that a whale? Yeah. And then they didn't look any further into it to find out that it's neither a shark nor a whale. But isn't that the Dory's friend from Finding Dory that can't see very well? Isn't that a whale shark?
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Big Dog Energy
I have another thing that actually affects me, though. I made a poor financial decision. All right. Yeah. So you guys know I'm going to take a firearm safety course, right? Sure. And I think I might have mentioned I was made fun of very much at the gun store because I got a .22 pistol, right? A baby gun, yes. Why would they laugh at that? I don't know. Look, .22LR. I want to say LR.
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Big Dog Energy
What about like an ostrich or a hawk or an eagle? Yeah, Wade, you could be ostrich. Yeah, I get that. Bald and I shove my head in the ground.
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Big Dog Energy
But yes. Trying to think of the funniest bird I can think of. Wade, you are Iago.
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Big Dog Energy
A lot of stuff that Gilbert Godfrey said that was supposed to be jokes made me cringe too. I could see it. But also legend. Very funny.
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Big Dog Energy
Oh, Mark, I know who you are. You're the captain of the penguins from Madagascar. You're the lead penguin guy. Ooh, all right, I'll take it. You always have a plan, and you know how to put people into the right positions to make things happen. And although they are portrayed as goofy characters, they also succeed quite frequently at what they're doing.
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Big Dog Energy
Of all the animals that actually do look and maybe act like you, I'm just going to say a barn owl or some type of owl. Aesthetically, it's got the shape of the head is kind of similar to an owl shape. Fronds and eyes always watching and then always observing. And actually 90% feathers. Yeah, I was going to say, have you guys seen an owl's legs? Look that shit up.
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Big Dog Energy
I saw an owl's legs sticking out of a bush. All Wizard of Oz style. Owls are a dead ass lie. They look all chonky and like, nah, you lift up their skirt and they got little little stick legs in there. It's fucking weird. Yeah, I'll take that. I like barn owls. I like that. That's a good one.
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Big Dog Energy
owls are cool plus i never remember anyone's name so i actually do say who kind of a lot uh bob i had you down as a spectacled eider what an arctic turn what is this no bob that's wrong spectacled eider i how do you spell eider like e-i-d-e-r what is did you know that or did you look that up no i looked these up but it looks like it's wearing glasses Doesn't really look like it's wearing glasses.
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Big Dog Energy
It kind of looks like it's got its nose run over by a forklift, but I'll take that. That's a cool looking water bird. It's a water bird. Waterfowl. That's okay. I think Bob specifically is actually a Cape Coral burrowing owl. Well, I think Wade looks like a rosette spoonbill. How do you spell that? Rosette spoonbill, like it sounds. Oh, that's pretty. I had Markdown as a tufted puffin.
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Big Dog Energy
I'm watching a lot of Puffin Rock lately. I'm just really into that. Puffins are cool. I love Puffins. Okay, random sidetrack before we hit the end here. Were Puffins randomly a huge fucking deal for you guys in elementary school? Or was that a thing that someone in our school was just really hot on Puffins?
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Big Dog Energy
I swear to God, there were entire teaching units when I was in like third, fourth grade where it was like every it wasn't like everyone picked a different animal. It was everyone learned about puffins. It was all about puffins. There were multiple books about puffins, fiction books about puffins living out their puffin lives.
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Big Dog Energy
I swear to God, like two years of my elementary school time was focused primarily on puffins and learning how to count. And I don't understand why that happened, but it's like very burned into my memory. I have no idea. I can't relate to this. I don't think that I even learned about puffins until high school. I've always thought it was so weird. I don't know.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Legendary rare like a Dokkan? It's an L22. Yes. It's great. That's better than an SSR. So for those that don't know, bullets, 22LR means 22 long rifle. What is... That doesn't mean I have a 22... How many 22s is it?
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Some teacher I had was just like all about puffins for some reason. I don't understand. I mean, they're cool, but they're kind of just birds that live on the side of cliffs. Yeah, I truly don't know. Maybe. Not that I remember.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Charlie, this one's for you for asking me if I get small dog energy, so you're welcome. You inevitably watch this in the summer, apparently, because you're behind.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
They've all told me that, and I think it's true. Hey, we're as nice to everyone else as we are to each other. That's true. All right, let me go through points here. Bob, you got points for... That doesn't sound good. Furnace, cold, bad. Sticky one shot? No, one, no, sticky, and then one shot, because the gun.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
h-y-p-f something hypho it looks like it says hypho i don't know my pen started dying so i had a really hard time writing this down was that the bacteria again didn't he call us a hypha hyphae yeah yeah that might be what it is whale shark ostrich tardigrade and barn owls bob you got a total of five and thirteen point mark you got a total of five and eleven twelve
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Orc, do you happen to have the wheeler? Do you want someone else to do it? I got blacksmithing, 3D printing, fucking dinosaurs, Marbula 1, Vorpreg, and Metmo. I vaguely recall what this is for. I don't know about that one. Did you ever get a Davor Pro, bud? Hell, you know, still working on it.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Oh, no, not me. Oh, no. Yeah, whatever. I don't think you've ever actually done one of these yet. Oh, wait, I have it. What are the percentages supposed to be here? What does it say there right now? I have 46, 46, and 8. Oh. Yeah, so 10% chance now? So it should be 45, 45, and 10? Yeah, probably.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
22... 22... .22 inch? I don't know. Something like that. 22 smalls. They make a .22 short, which is like just this already small bullet. It's like stubby, right? It's like that big. Still...
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Interesting. all right well there might be an ad because that's apparently how this website wants to be but here we go go ahead and share oh that's a big slice yeah i don't know if that's visually accurate but it feels bad are you ready boys yep let's get over with
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Bob wins. Hey, look, we have a winner. It's me. Well, really dodged a bullet there. Mark, it feels like you want the one-man show. I do. Well, I don't want to do it, but I want him to do it. Oh, that's true. This would have been a good time for that to come up.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
As the one of us who has actually performed a one-man show written by their friends, hence the inspiration for this punishment, it's not fun. Not a fun experience. It is absolutely not a fun experience. I think that's the first time I've had to do a wheel spin. I'm going to just start manufacturing ties to get more wheel spins. So next time is 12% one-man show. Well, congrats, Bob.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
You want to give us a winner's speech? Sure. Feels good to win when you earn it. Feels even better to win when you don't earn it. And today I am the latter one of those. So it's delicious and delightful. And honestly, I liked a lot of Mark's answers. So that was a tight one. And good show. Good show, chaps.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I don't know why I feel like I haven't felt this in a while, but I just really needed this, I guess, you know? Really needed this. Thanks, guys. Well, I didn't want it to happen, so... Um, Mark, loser speech. Uh, I think that my inferiority complex is only going to get worse from here on out. Um... My, you know, my bullets are too small. My gun jams too much.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
My knives are D2 and not whatever the better one is. My phone is old. My hair is too long. My legs are too short. My thighs are too wide. Everything about me is just the wrong direction to go. Don't forget the midface.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
could kill you but all the gun store people were like it definitely probably won't be enough to stop a drugged up home invader and i'm like you don't that's not this isn't the circumstances are all home invaders drugged up is that a prerequisite according to the gun store people yes absolutely 100 you're in my house i'm not drugged up oh come in come in let me get my 22 out
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
terribly enormous uh so i think that this truck small man this is the moment my truck's too big this is the moment where i you know will do the opposite of everything i've ever instinctively done from this point because i need to rectify this loss and this series of losses that i am discovering in my what's the biggest bullet Well, I'm going to look it up.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
What is the biggest... I assume some artillery. Well, I guess what counts is a bullet. Artillery is not a bullet. Oh, my God. Either this guy has tiny, tiny, teeny, tiny hands, or this is the girthiest bullet I've ever seen. Holy shit. Anyway, I'm going to go for that to compensate for all of my shortcomings. Then I will start winning for sure.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
No matter how sticky you make it, there's no way that bad boy is going to struggle to eject.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
All right, listen, I don't know what the tactical definition of a bullet is, but the Gustav gun was terrifying. If you don't know about it, you should look it up.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
crazy fucking thing it's absurd they've got people standing around it that are like half of its height yeah it's like a bullet the size of a small building wasn't it it's a bull it's built to buy the nazis to destroy france is apparently what that intention about the pipe cleaner you would need for that guy on the train of the gustav bolster trigger is like ah damn That's a whole project, right?
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Yeah. Breathalyzer for cocaine. So I'm paranoid about lead, right? And, you know, bullets, lead kind of go hand in hand, right? So I looked up and they do make a non-lead. Well, they did make a non-lead .22 long rifle bullet. It was discontinued. And I didn't look up why it was discontinued, but it was discontinued.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
so uh i i it was only available from this one store uh like in arizona i believe and they had a case of five thousand right so i i bought it because it was uh the price per bullet was like uh nine cents it was four hundred fifty dollars for the whole five thousand and
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I just made a spit bubble and I hope it didn't show up on camera. I'm joined as always by my co-hosts, Mark and Bob. Hello, how are you two doing? We're co-hosts today? Did we all win? We're always co-hosts. I'm just THE host. I don't think that's how that words work.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
and I was like, okay, this is the only non-lead, completely non-lead, not even in the primer, so even if it fires, it won't release any lead gas into the air, I don't get lead, my brain doesn't implode, and I am good and healthy, right?
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I finally went to the shooting range, an indoor one, and you know, I'm paranoid about lead, so I'm like masked up, and double your protection, I'm just there to make sure the gun works.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
And then as I fire my first shot, I hear the voice of the gun store people being like, when he showed me the pistol, he was like, now this .22LR, it's not very strong, so sometimes it'll not cycle, which means it won't go to the next bullet, which means that it's... It'll fail a lot. In video game terms, that's when the gentleman yells, Jam! I'm jammed!
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
And then you can't shoot for a minute because it's jammed. And let me tell you, every single shot, the gun jammed. Every single one. It was just every single... And meanwhile, I got guys on the left and right of me with their big 9mm and .45s. It's like... Boom! And I'm just...
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
they call them i mean it might as well have been it was like every bullet was coated in this like green goop i think it used to be a lubricant but they're old and discontinued so it acted as a glue so literally the the casings because again 22lr very small not a lot of power i mean you know it's got some power so it's good it's got power right sure yeah no sure okay yeah yeah bullet bounces off of a mouse
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Cut to the mouse jumping off the roof of a building. He's not invincible. Mouse doing that magician trick, trying to catch a bullet in his mouth.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I mean, basically, that's what it was. So, you know, I said I bought $5,000.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
yeah that's a that's a lot i think right they had two boxes i bought 10 000 of these useless fucking bullets that's especially funny because it means that the casing is all sticky and so it doesn't oftentimes when a gun jams what all you need to do is like rack it again and so you just like pull the thing and it's like poof and it ejects yeah but they're sticky
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I'm assuming that means that you didn't just go, oh, and you like you have to like clear the gun, rack and lock it, like fish out the little glued in shell. It's not even just like a jam. It's like the worst version of a jam. I had to go up to the cashier outside of the gun range and shamefully go, um, I got a bullet stuck in my gun.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
competitors is kind of what i've been hearing your competitive co-host and i'm the godlike one today who hasn't won in a long time and complained about it last episode it has been a long time but i'm glad to be back i wasn't really complaining about so much as trying to keep my streak alive i hope everyone is doing well while i try to figure out my life i'm gonna allow these two to have some small talk time what's up guys i learned an interesting thing about temperatures and furnaces this week
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Oh, yeah, no, they don't like when you walk around with guns outside the... They're not into that. Yeah, so don't worry, guys. It's going great with my John Wick training. buy some 5w30 and just slosh fill up those bad boys with a little that probably flammable lubricant probably is not advisable i have no idea about it maybe i don't even know 22 flamethrower sounds great oh yeah
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Dude, it's like those Call of Duty bullets where it shoots a bullet and fire. Yeah. I wish I had one around so I could show you, everyone at home, like, how big a .22... Well, how small. You don't really say how big a .22 bullet is. Just show the size. Say the size of it. Hang on. Just get ready. It's gonna be... Gonna be a whopper. Is it in the room? Ooh. Ooh.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Wow. Yeah, it's against TOS. This is going to get us banned. It's so dangerous. It's a non-active. That's just like a necklace. Anyway, it's sticky. Why is it sticky? What if there's nothing wrong with those shells, but the previous owner of them just really liked .22LR shells, and that's why it's all sticky? It was just really about that. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Is that better or worse?
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Much worse, actually. That's horrifically bad. Yes, him masturbating into the box of bullets that I bought. Yes, a lot, yeah, to cover all 10,000, yeah. Maybe he kept the bullets in a sock. Master gave Dobby a sock.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Look, look, everyone at home, we're not joking. This is still dangerous. It's still a bullet, and it could kill for sure. 100% can and has. It's still a bullet. Dangerous. So, you know, laugh it up, guys.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Anyway, yeah. Training's going real good, guys. You're basically John Wick at this point. Yeah, exactly. I do the reload flap. You got that stairs falling thing, and you got the... Yeah, I can see it. I'm getting real good at cocking it, you know? Really good at that. You understand what to do in case of a jam. Dude, I really do. Which is an important skill that no one practices enough.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
That whole sequence where he's in the hotel and he's like, I need something big and bold for the end of the night. Oh, and like 50 pipe cleaners.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I'd like the extra sticky 22LRs. Do you feel sticky, punk? Do you? You know what? I respect that. That's a tough that's a tough L for you. And that doesn't make it less funny. But I do feel bad. I also do feel bad for you because that's sucks. Yeah. And it wasn't like they were each like four hundred fifty bucks for the five thousand.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Oh, wow. Did you know it can be cold enough outside that your furnace, which is inside the house in the basement in our house, can then not be able to turn on because it's too cold outside, which you might think that seems like a problem. And you're right. That's a terrible problem to have.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
So price per bullet, you know, if this if you're looking at like any other 22, it's like, yeah, that's pretty comparable and decent. And for non lead, it doesn't have a lead and lead free. Yeah, then that's big. People should be more concerned about that. Think about how long that's going to last you, because you can only fire one a time.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Go to the range, do the whole routine, open your case, stand up, click, boom. Gotta go disassemble and clean this bad boy. That's my one shot. Can't believe I missed again. Did they make a muzzle loader 22? You know, shove that bad boy down the front. Put some extra gunpowder in there just to make sure it gets out of there. Clearing it out, I'd never get it out of there.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I'd have to disassemble the whole muzzle loader. You just have to get a new gun every time. You just fire it and be like, ah, yeah. Pile of 50 of them. Well, that was fun. I don't know why I thought it'd be different this time.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
Dude, it's like, oh man, what a sequence that would be in John Wick. One shot per gun.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
It's like the Matrix helicopter. You turn it on, the thing is just like, yeah, boom. All right, different helicopter. Trinity, get the other helicopter. Now a lot more bullets if we're saving Morpheus. All right, guys, please. But it's also a bummer for you, buddy. We're not laughing at you. We're laughing about you. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
It's very brave of you to come here and share with us. Thank you. Thank you. I can always trust you guys to hear my woes. We always offer a compassionate shoulder to cry on.
Distractible
Big Dog Energy
I was almost just going to say Joe Pesci, but that's... They do make a single shot .22, and let me tell you, this bad boy is exactly as stupid looking as you imagine. Oh, wait, no. Isn't that kind of like from the Day of the Jackal? Do you guys know the movie The Day of the Jackal? No.
Distractible
Bob's Small, Even Dumber Word Game
Digging to the Earth's core. Bare hands. No brakes. Can I survive a full latex suit in 100 degree heat with no water? Let's find out the hard way. staring at the sun for 10 minutes straight. Wish me luck. Counting every grain of sand on this beach. Let's go. One, two, three. I have to eat diamonds for views. I hope you're happy, algorithm.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
oh god every time you cook you just inject some liquid butter into the side actually that's what people say about cast iron is like you season it because you want that to come out not necessarily like a butter button but it's like it's coated with the flavors of everything that you've used to season with it but i can tell you country style gravy made in cast iron does taste different than gravy made elsewhere
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Now, cast iron is like magic because what happens when you the reason cast iron pans get seasoned, quote unquote, you're literally polymerizing the fats that you have on the surface into a new polymer. I don't know the science of it, but like it is mystical and magical because a perfectly seasoned cast iron is like as slick and glossy as a nonstick pan, which is wild.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
literally started this episode i was finishing lunch and now i'm hungry again for like breakfast food you know what is crazy every single crazy asinine thing i've put into my server room has worked and i know i'm jinxing myself but i can't believe that that does seem like a lot of luck have you filled it with uh what's that liquid called have you put the liquid gel in the whole room yet glower salt do you bro you're talking about glower salt yeah everyone's favorite i've
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I think it's so funny that people fundamentally misunderstood how I was going to use it. Everyone's just like, don't put Glaubersalt in your server. I'm an electrical engineering student, and I believe that if you do that, it will blow up everything. And I was just like, how dumb do people think? Someone just caught a stray. I'm an electrical engineering student.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
i give you permission to speak now okay all right i'm doing well man um so we're doing a president tier list is what we're doing today pretty much i think van buren should at least be beat here overrated too high d tier okay I don't have an entry until the episode begins. I'm not doing anything for no points. A point for boldness, Mark.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I'm an electrical engineer hobbyist. I have a bachelor's degree and I think it's perfectly safe, Mark. Thank you. I don't. I have two degrees and I think you're a genius, Mark. Bob, do you have ghosts in front of you? In front of me? Is there a window in front of you or something? No. Are you referring to this? Yeah, I saw a shadowy figure.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
What is going... It looks like a window and someone's walking by it. What is that? I'm in a basement. Let's be very clear about this. I'm in a basement. This is a TV that's off that is reflective, but what it usually reflects is my monitors. And I just saw that. Yeah, you saw that too. Someone walked by. You can see my hand in the monitor, right? You could see like right here when I...
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Yeah, our angle, I can't, but I believe you. I swear something walked by. I saw that because you made me look at it right where the head... It looked like... What is that? What is that? I saw it. What is it? I'm in a basement. You got ghost, man. What's happening? My monitors are all static except for your images right now. Good luck putting that in a YouTube short, editors.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Man, Bob, if this is a prank, it's a good one. Dude, if this is a prank, I'm pranking my own self here too. What the fuck is happening? Hey, I'll give you 20 bucks to stand in front of this light while I'm recording an episode and just walk back and forth. I'm in a basement. There are like basement windows, but there's no way that they're reflect.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Watch right here, right? You can see my hand shadow right there. That's my hand in front of my monitors. What is up? Wait, I can obstruct that. Yeah. It's a... I don't have an explanation for that. I think there's someone hiding behind your monitor. I think that's the only thing. The only other thing in my office that emits light is I have a over there up high. I have a computer, but it's purple.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It's all purple lighting inside my computer. It's not green. All the listeners are shaking their steering wheel. What is that? Listeners, there's a TV that looks like someone's moving in front of a reflection in it. There you go. You're welcome. It honestly looks like someone is walking back and forth in front of the reflection. I'm alone in a basement. I don't know what to tell you. Are you?
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I hope so. I don't know. Oh, they walked the other way. It did go the other way. I saw that. If a face appears and stays there, maybe we'll talk to it. Maybe that'll be the episode. I don't like that. I don't like that. Oh, this is not a big thing, but it's preparation. I am getting a fridge delivered this week. Yes. Oh, God. So this is a different. We live in Ohio now.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It's a totally different house. We have an upstairs fridge and a basement fridge because we live in the Midwest and we always have a basement fridge in the Midwest for whatever reason. Basement fridge stopped fridging. It's it's only moderately cool and not cold enough to be food safe anymore.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I'm also giving Wade a point for baldness because boldness made me think of baldness. Thank you. President Balds. I'm a genius. Go on. My mind knows no limits. The scope of my psyche expands every day. Did you know you can buy a forklift on eBay? No. No. You sure as shit can. I am currently embroiled in a bidding war on a on a forklift. With no reserve pricing on it. Does it work?
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Are you doing the Midwest thing where you take kitchen fridge, move it to basement, get new kitchen fridge? Oh, yeah. No, no. Yeah, we're 100 percent doing that. We're getting we're getting new upstairs fridge and we're putting upstairs fridge into downstairs area. There are three fridges that are about to be moved up and downstairs through this house because they're taking the old one away.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
They're moving the one upstairs down and then they're putting a new one. It's not from Lowe's. Last time it was Lowe's. You mean Woe's? Yeah, well, it was them. I can't help but feel like the shadow in that monitor looks like Smeagol leaning over looking at you. Am I in trouble or what? Baby, there's two of them. There's two of what? What do you mean? Two walked by in quick succession.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I think Wade's just making shit up now. I don't know. Could be legs. That could just be legs. Bob's legs? No. His legs are below the camera. My legs reach under the desk and then up the backside, and I'm just doing that with my legs 12 feet away from my body. Just fair warning. Next time we record this show, I will have had a lot of refrigerators moving around my house.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
What condition is your side yard in? They shouldn't even have to use the side yard in this house. The fridge should come in the front door and straight through to the kitchen and the basement stairs. They do have like a U-turn, but they're pretty wide. They're fairly wide. Should be fine. I can't wait. I'm so sorry for your future pain. Joe Rogan, your days are numbered. We're coming back, baby.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
We're surging to the top. All the viewers, listeners, tell your friends, tell your family, it's time to come back to Distractable because Bob's Fridge Part 2, it's coming. If something bad happens and I have to do, I don't know. I feel like that'll be confirmation that we live in a simulation because it's just, there's no reason. Anyway, we have ghosts and soon we'll have refrigerators.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
That's why it's your favorite podcast. It's the only reason. Anyway, you guys want to do my episode idea? Top 10 is accurate, but you're not making a top 10 list. What we're doing is you're guessing what are on these top 10 lists. I have a series of top 10 lists that I compiled from Googling things, so they are not definitive and or even correct necessarily, but this is the best I could find.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
wow family steve family steve i love that show okay man i'm ready this is like harvey feud basically but these these rankings are i don't know internet bullshit who knows but we're gonna start easy okay i'm gonna give you the like the title of the list and then i'm gonna you're just gonna try and fill it in and uh we're gonna start with a super easy one i'm gonna flip a lens cap to see who goes fucking first i'm
Distractible
Top 10 Things
i just almost threw the lens cap this is mark this is wade i can't tell the difference but i can't wait to see i can't tell the difference but mark is the outside this is like the front this is like the side that faces the lens here we go Marco's first triangle of fairness. It's not a triangle. It's a small lens cap. Sorry.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
The first list we're going to do is the top 10 ice cream flavors in America. So I got to guess which ones are in points based on how high. Not based on how high I'm going to. It's going to be like a you win the list type of deal. So I'm going to keep track of who gets which ones. And you you want to get more of the correct answers.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
We don't have to get all 10 of every list, but also I'll try and give you hints. But this one should be easy. I think that my answer, because it's really like if you think like most popular one, there's really only two choices that spring up because, you know, people are very basic. I'm going to go with vanilla.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I was hoping you were going to pull some weird ass flavor out of your ass after all that, like the buildup. Macaroni and cheese. Vanilla was number one. Vanilla is number one. That's what I thought because it'd be the most basic thing, but also it is a flavor. It's not just nothing. It's not just milk flavored. I'm going to skip some of the basics.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I'll leave those to Mark and I'm going to go cookies and cream, which has basically become a basic flavor. Number four on our list is cookies and cream. That's about where I would have expected it to be. This is my favorite. I really just want to know if it's on the list. Butter pecan. Butter pecan is number seven on this list.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
All right. All right. Gaining in popularity. Apparently it ranks as high as fourth in some things, but it's a seven on this list. So it depends who you ask, where you ask them, probably. It's a fantastic flavor. I'm going to do another exploratory one. Like the Cincinnati, Cincinnati enemy wants to say black raspberry chip because graders.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
But I don't know if that's a national or worldwide flavor, but I'm going to say cotton candy and see if cotton candy is on the list. That was a very popular flavor when I worked at ice cream. Not on the list. I think that's a very UDF Midwest flavor, but not necessarily a national thing. Mint chocolate chip. As much as I would love black raspberry chip to be there.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
If anyone likes mint chocolate chip, black raspberry chip isn't like a substitute because you either like the mint or you don't. But I'm like black raspberry chip is great. But mint chocolate chip is probably the most. Mint chocolate chip is number five. All right, yeah. Well, this one's probably on there then. Cookie dough. Chocolate chip cookie dough is number six. Have we said chocolate? No.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Oh, chocolate. Chocolate's number two. We also haven't said strawberry. Strawberry's number three. You guys really did just skip right over all of the basics. Well, I thought Mark would give the basic ones, so I wouldn't go crazy. I guess you can't say Neapolitan because that's just those, right? Is that your guess? No, no, no, no. Is it on the list? Wait. I was just asking. I was just asking.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Is that your guess? yeah sure neapolitan neapolitan is number nine on the list even though isn't neapolitan just vanilla chocolate and strawberry together apparently that's very popular in the older generation specifically gen xers and especially baby boomers really like neapolitan uh what about just boring chocolate chip need the cookie dough but chocolate chip itself is probably on there
Distractible
Top 10 Things
That did not make the list. Really good. Honestly, good. We have two left and I do think they're very guessable, but we are definitely getting away from the most obvious flavors with these ones. Rocky Road. Rocky Road is number 10 on this list. Meaning that we have one left. So I'm going through my brain here.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
How much do we know about this forklift? Apparently, there's some pictures of it. And the guy says, oh, there's a video. Actually, why didn't I see this before? You're sure this is not just a poster of a forklift, right? No, there's a video of orbiting around the forklift. He's looking at the serial numbers. He's raising the fork up and down. It's not just a 1 16th scale model RC forklift.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
There's another very popular combination, at least at UDF, but there's multiple of them. Peanut butter, peanut butter chocolate chip, some version of peanut butter. Peanut butter, not on this list. I'm surprised. I'm going to go with Americone Dream. That's my favorite of the Ben & Jerry's. No, that is a good flavor of the Ben & Jerry's special ones, but that is not on the list.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
superman also good guess the bar not on the list that was a that was a udf flavor yeah it's got to be some cup of caramel or caramel or however i say do you want a hint no i've got two more guesses before i want a hint uh let me go sea salt caramel something like that that's not it sorry turkish coffee What? No, no. And bad. No. I don't know if a Sherbert would count.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
This is specifically ice cream. Yeah, that's not. That's a different type of thing. Brownie something. Unless that isn't that Rocky Road. That's technically there. There would be like a brownie chunk thing would be. That's not it, though. Birthday cake.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
birthday cake is number seven interesting it's more widely probably known as like confetti cake or just like cake but that is that's been one that really has exploded in popularity i feel like in our lifetimes it is very good probably terrible for you but god is it good is that just like vanilla with sprinkles or is there something else in there
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It's like vanilla with sprinkles and usually it either has like cake bits or like crunchy bits that are supposed to be the cake mixed into it. So it's kind of like cake and ice cream all in one scoop. Oh, I see. Or like if you get like Cold Stone, they literally just take some cake and just fuck it in there with everything else in your cold. I hope they don't. I hope they don't fuck it in there.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
You guys did very well on that. This I think this is another lowball one. Oh, my knee. Oh, OK. Wade, you get to go first on this one. Give me the top 10 most popular restaurant brands in the US. So this includes fast food, sit down places. This includes anywhere you can get food or drinks. So like smoothie places or any kind of like restaurant store.
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Top 10 Things
uh wendy's wendy's is number five mcdonald's donald's is number one mark out here getting all the number one answers yeah that's what it's all about baby I want to do, I want to explore. I want to see if Rally slash Checkers is on there. Not because they're like one of the greater ones, but because they literally have two different names because they're everywhere. I love that guess.
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And I see what you're going for. They did not make the cut. Is Chipotle on the list? Oh, I see what you're getting at. They have actually fallen off. Notably regarded as previously would have been on this list, but no longer regarded as well by people. Interesting. Interesting. Is Burger King somehow still on this list?
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I feel like they've also fallen off since like the late 90s, but they're still everywhere. Burger King somehow is number six on this list. That is dubiously high to my eyes. But yes, their chicken in the late 90s, man, was so good. No, they do have they have very specific things that just you can't you can't get other places.
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uh whopper whopper whopper whopper they advertise like crazy and i know i think of the jingle uh jack in the box that's a good one but no not on this list really would something like starbucks count starbucks is number two on this list oh okay all right yeah yeah yeah like i was trying to give you that at the beginning this includes all food establishments so like dunkin donuts has also got to be up there
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No, this is a 5,000 pound telescoping forklift with tilt control in it. Oh, hell yeah. Is it a Shyster? It's a Toyota. Oh, good brand. Quality brand. The reason I'm looking for a forklift is because Jason, who I think you guys know, is forklift certified. Is that a real thing? I thought that was a bit that people did. Is that a real actual thing? Yeah, absolutely. Forklifts are dangerous things.
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I think it's offensively low, but Dunkin' Donuts is at number nine on this list. And technically, I guess it's just called Dunkin' now. Whatever you want, company that everyone knows the name of. Yeah, change. Change your iconic name. Good job. That executive that walked into the building really made that decision.
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I don't know if this is going to make the list, but I feel like they're everywhere. Waffle House. They are everywhere. I feel like they really lose it at most popular brands in the US. They've got to be to be so everywhere that they are. I don't know how there are so many Waffle Houses, and I don't know a single soul who goes to one for any purpose regularly. In Milford, we went to high school.
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Mark and I went to high school. They literally popped one up in the middle of a grocery store parking lot. It just appeared one day. I don't know. It does seem like there are too many of those that they're... People have to eat there for them to keep opening, right? Maybe people who eat at Waffle House don't respond to surveys. Maybe it's a bias in the survey. Subway. Subway.
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That comes in at number six. Did I say six already? Subway's actually number six. OK, I think you said Burger King was number six. Yeah, Burger King, I think is five. Actually, I think I just don't count so good. So we're missing number three right now. We're missing three, four, eight and ten. I don't know if I want to keep trusting breakfast places. I'm sure I'm missing some obvious ones.
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Definitely missing some obvious ones. Try IHOP. Ooh, IHOP is not on this list. Taco Bell. That's a pretty obvious one. Taco Bell is number four. I don't think a Taco Bell
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and waffle house aren't there i don't think like a bob evans or anything else gonna make it so oh that's like an ohio thing i see i don't know i've always been in ohio i don't know these things i mean like in and out but that's only west coast so like what would be big national brands here big conglomerated national brands arby's good guess but no arby's didn't make the cut chick-fil-a oh
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chick-fil-a is number three on this list that high it's huge insanely have you ever seen the lines at chick-fil-a chick-fil-a disrupts traffic a mile away depending on how their driveways are designed people go apeshit for that not here but here it's one of the like even if they have a long line it goes quickly and they do like the double thing i guess so yeah but it's still like they're good at getting people through
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Where I lived in the Bay, there would be they had a special parking lot built at the new Chick-fil-A where the line went all the way around the perimeter of the property. It was literally like a 50 car line they had built, and that was not enough to contain the lunch rush line. It's still backed up into the street and fucked up traffic in the whole area. Chick-fil-A is crazy.
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I don't know how they keep enough chicken in that building to feed all the people going through there. I don't know. Meat Canyon is probably right. I don't know. They have an underground chicken lab. Anyway, we are now missing number eight and number 10. And I have hints if you want them. Is Hardee's on the list for some reason? It's not that popular here, but maybe it is overall. Nah, nah.
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This is an oddball one. I don't know if this qualifies, but I'm going to throw out 7-Eleven because they do sell food and they're very popular. I really like that guess. 7-Eleven is not on the list, but that's a very good guess. What about KFC? KFC is number 10. Damn, OK. Now missing the number eight restaurant on this list. I'll give a hint that's very vague.
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It is a type of place we haven't guessed any of yet. We haven't guessed this type of the type of like cuisine they serve, type of food they serve. Oh, is it Panda Express? That is an excellent guess. But no, Panda is not on the list. All right. You would think those are those do very well.
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pizza hut pizza hut is not on the list but is it domino's domino's is number eight on our list really domino's is more popular than pizza hut now i was also surprised by that domino's internationally is way more successful than any other large pizza trade and so i think i actually think domino's very mediocre but it's like always consistent so i think that's part of the appeal
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Whereas like Papa John's is probably one of my favorite. I actually like that. I still can't get over. There's one pizza place by UC. Adriaticos? Adriaticos. Like that's probably been my favorite pizza place I've ever gone to. But Papa John's swings wildly. Dude, they do. They're either one of the best or if their cheese is wrong, it makes you feel nauseous with every bite.
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They're extremely dangerous. Let me double check your logic here. Someone you know is forklift certified. Therefore, you need a forklift. You don't actually have anything you need to move with a forklift. No, I do.
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It really depends on the quality of what you get. Domino's wings and pasta, though, has actually been slapping. So their pizza, I'm kind of eh. Pasta Hut. Pasta Hut. I do. I like their fettuccine Alfredo. It just the way it comes. I enjoy it. Their pastas are so greasy to me. I can't. I like I like them, but they like they like make me sick.
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I've always found Domino's to be one of the lesser pizza chains. I always preferred like Pizza Hut. Marcos was really good. I don't know how big Marcos is, but it's a big.
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little caesars is one i love that i think it doesn't get the dude hot and readies dude hot and readies little caesars we're so good five dollar hot and ready just walk in and grab yourself a pep i got food here speaking of all right let's pretend to do a handshake deal when mark comes back wait i forget which side you're on what did you do nothing we pretended to make a deal mark don't worry about it all right bob i curse the ghost in your tv to kill you
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That is all 10. I'm surprised Arby's didn't make the cut. There are a few that I'm surprised went on that, and Arby's is definitely one of them. They have the meats. I still would have thought Chipotle had this staying power, but I guess not. I will say the thing about Chipotle is the world has moved towards ordering everything for like delivery or whatever.
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Chipotle is almost as good as it used to be if you go to the store and get your order in person. But they make the online orders so fucking terribly. They give you like half a scoop and they skimp out on stuff and it's gross. You go and watch them make it. The people that work in the store are great and they give you lots of fillings and it's delicious. Yep.
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Every time I've ordered double when it's online, it's never double. Yeah. Never. Absolutely is not double. Editors, mute my microphone. You could just not make that noise. I think if you just... Glad that no one can hear me. All right, we're going to move on to a list that I think is harder, but I think is also more interesting.
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I did surprisingly bad on that one, so I can't wait to see what this one is. You came off to a really hot start, and then Mark really clawed his way back. I thought you were going to walk away with that one. Give me the top 10 inventions of the 21st century. So this one is kind of more vague.
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I was like, dude, I'm going to get like airplane certified. Will Mark buy me a jet? I can't leave Jason liftless. He got certified. I gotta get him a forklift. I am going to need a forklift for reasons that I shall not get into at this moment. They're my reasons. I don't need to explain it to you, listeners, you viewers. How many lenses, Mark? How many? Ha ha!
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This is not on there, but a good example would be if it was top 10 inventions of like the last 25 years or 30 years or whatever it is. The internet. That'd be more like 40 years, technically. But dude, I'm so dumb. I was like, so from 1900 to 2000. No, of the 21st century would be post millennium, post 2000.
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And that doesn't strictly mean that no version of this existed previously, because some of these really skirt that. I'll be honest. Modern, very modern inventions of the modern age. Now you can go first again, Wade. All right. Oh, sorry. All right. Well, you're eating. I thought you were busy. No, I agree. I'll go first because I think I only know of one. I don't even know if it counts.
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That's very generous of you, Wade. Go ahead. Social media. Social media is number three. All right, that's it. I'm tapping out. That's all I have for this. You know, come on. This is your job. You know stuff. Invention based on metrics of users, sales... My understanding is this is sort of a combination.
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A lot of these are things that are have become widely adopted, widely used, but some of them are more like just such a revolution that even though it's still in a growth in the growth phase, it's just like a remarkable invention of modern technology kind of thing. Well, up there's got to be smartphone. I just typed that out as the one I was like, I'm going to try smartphones. God damn it.
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Smartphones is number two. Fuck. It's very exemplified by the iPhone, which released in 2007. Good work, Mark. What else you got, Wade? There is 100% chance that one of these is a thing that you know unquestionably. How about 3D printing? 3D printing is listed at number one. Damn! Mark? It's recent, but machine learning probably is up there.
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Yeah, at number six, artificial intelligence slash machine learning. I feel like calling it AI is generous, but machine learning, advancements in various fields in computing technology. Crypto! Bitcoin and cryptocurrency are number four on this list. Okay. The man who thinks he doesn't know anything still hasn't missed. I'm just pulling stuff out of my ass.
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Just think about modern things in your ass and they'll probably be pretty close.
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okay okay this one i believe is is within the 21st century but i might be wrong i'm gonna say lithium ion batteries that is a very good guess but actually not on the list that was one i was a little surprised did not make this it probably actually was invented before also like lithium ion specifically probably was beforehand but
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I will say a couple of these that exist also were not strictly like they definitely existed pre 2000 in like unheard of niche circles that no one discovered until after it was invented in the, you know, in the 21st century. Wade, your chance to take a commanding lead on this list. Non dial up internet.
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you mean like what's the light fiber optic internet you mean in particular yeah i guess so yeah whenever it quit being a dial-up service and they started using the other whatever nah okay decent guess i think that existed in the 90s like technically dsl existed for a while before the year 2000 i think i got one oculus rift the vr oh vr okay that's a very good guess vr virtual reality is not on this list ah
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The thing that makes hybrid cars hybrid, the plug-in stuff. The battery. Electric cars. Electric car things. Yeah. I'm going to give it to you, Wade, because I think this one is sort of mislabeled. That is number seven on this list. It's listed as electric and self-driving cars. I think it means like modern EVs that have self-driving features and things, but That is on here.
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That's one of the ones where I think that's kind of crazy because there was GM made an electric car in the 80s. There have been electric cars, not mass produced by any stretch, but there have been electric cars for a couple of decades prior to the year 2000. Wasn't there one that used like corn or something? I mean, are you talking about ethanol?
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Mark is actually buying an entire observatory telescope system so that he can film the rest of his movie from L.A. in Texas. Hubble plier. If you rehouse a telescope like an actual observatory, it's the image quality is just. No, I'm just always and forever tickled by the random shit that you can think of and it's on eBay. There is a listing of it. I unironically love eBay.
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Because ethanol has been added to gas for a long time. Someone just really just, I think, just literally tried to use corn. Are you talking about like biodiesel? No, corn. Uncle Jeb down the street doesn't count as a worldwide invention that's changed up the entire... I feel like you mean ethanol, but corn is not on the list. If you'll give me a point, then yes.
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No, well, you got this one anyway, but no, corn is not one on here, no. uh we need ten nine eight and five uh we have specifically talked about number seven as a topic on this show hair and we have definitely talked about the rest of the ones in passing like these are things that that we are aware of and that's not my turn but i'm helping you buddy
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Popular, popular, big, successful inventions, not Marx inventions. All right. It's not one of the meme topics we've discussed on this show. Ah, the James Webb telescope. I don't think that one has come to fruition enough quite yet to guarantee that it's a modern Marvel, but I think it probably is. It has been generating science the likes of which we have not believed.
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But it has a lifetime of imagery to collect still. No, that's not on here. Space is not a bad place to think about. One of these, one of these connected to space. The rest of these very earthy. I'm going to ignore that hint and go with Fitbits and smartwatches.
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That's an interesting one, but I feel like that probably gets wrapped into smartphones because it is not specifically separate on this list. A space phone. How about Starlink? That is like a better version of the thing that Wade guessed earlier about non-dial-up internet, but it's also not Starlink. Sorry. I'm batting 0 for 17 here. The MCU.
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that's very space no but that does make me think of streaming services it's it's kind of a plague but also kind of influential right oh fuck streaming services is number five damn it why did i give you that that was my clue i should get that specifically i think this one's funny because it specifically says youtube and other streaming services Oh, YouTube. We're kind of on. Yeah, we are.
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That's kind of a big thing in our lives that we're probably pretty familiar with. So we're currently missing seven, eight and nine. I might disagree with it, but number nine I'm calling specifically has got to be Fortnite. I fucking wish it was.
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all the rest of these are like inventions and science and i'm really yeah at fortnight i mean fortnight right do you guys see the marshmallow concert in fortnight oh man crazy i would say digital cameras but i know for a fact the digital cameras were way prior to the 21st century yeah those predate the 21st century by quite a lot so why would you say that what a dumb thing
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I'll say the one that we spend a lot of time talking about in an, in an episode is still on here. I'm sorry, Urid is one of the top inventions of all time, but I'm afraid that's not a 21st century invention. All right, how about like flat screen TVs or something like that? No, sorry. Do you want a hint, Wade? Medical stuff. Growing ears on mice and lasers. Lasix better. Medical stuff.
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If that's on there, but I can name, if I can name the specific thing, can I steal it? Yes.
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no wade what you said is not on there but medical stuff is an interesting direction to go in crisper yeah number seven is crisper gene editing you're welcome for another softball mark thanks wait i got the battery and you get the car you didn't even say a self-driving and he gave it to you so i think i think we're even i said electric car you didn't say self-driving It's electric.
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Boogie, woogie, woogie, woogie. I'm being very generous here. CRISPR, medical stuff. They're the same thing. Anagram. Rearrange the letter medical stuff. You get CRISPR. Honestly, CRISPR is hardly medical at all. It's really more like experimental, if anything. That's what I was trying to say. Yeah, sure. Right now, you were close. You were very close-ish. Wade, what's your next guess?
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You must have something just on the tip of your tongue. That vroom vroom on Mars. Rover? Survey says... No, of course not. I was thinking space. Do you like all space? It's a good place to think. One of the two we have left is definitely space. Do you want more hints? I have hints. No, no, no. Oh, no, no. The space station? Ooh.
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I am so excited every day when I wake up and I go to eBay and I check some of my bids and I look around and I get a new notification for like, oh, one of these hard drives came on sale. I have it set for like threshold. I want all of the sponsorships for eBay. Yeah. You're an eBay super user over here.
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i don't know if that predates 21st century i don't either but what else is in space that we invented what else is it says the guy who loves space no that we invented it's not the space station that was launched in 1998 i just looked it up you want a space hint wade oh yeah please i don't know if it's gonna help you but it might help mark it won't this is not something that stays in space even though it goes to space it's not one of newton's laws no those stay in space
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That's close though, right? Are you talking about the Falcon 9 reusable rocket? Reusable commercial rockets. That's what I, that's basically, you misread my lips. The first time I watched a Falcon 9 land and then just still be standing there, my whole brain was like, I thought that was just going to fucking explode or something. Like, I didn't think this would actually work. Holy fuck.
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And it was, it was also just as crazy seeing the, the, what is it? The starship or get land on the little Forky do. That was wild. Just to know how big that thing is. Cause the Falcon nine, they had one in LA, like as a standing structure. And I stood next to it and I was just look up. I was like, That is so much bigger than you could ever imagine from the video.
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How the fuck did that land by itself? And the starship is way bigger than that. Starship is crazy. They caught a building. That's what it literally is. Yeah, it's like a medium small building that can land within like a, I don't even know, a precisely accurate point basically. And it had like failing engines and it still did it. Two of the engines blew up and it was still like, I got this. Wham!
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Wham! It was like half on fire. It was crazy. I know what the last one is. Well, it's your turn. So that's perfect. It's so obvious. Memes. Those are definitely invented pre 21st century. I didn't see him before that. Oh, you're right. By the rules of you, they were invented when you first saw them. I'm going to go and just clarify. No, we're still missing number 10.
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I don't particularly like this one, but it is an invention of the 21st century. Reusable condoms. Oh, that's the original condom was reusable. You kidding me? Get the old sheep's intestine out. We're getting lucky tonight. Kill the sheep. I'm feeling it. Markiplier. Sorry, I was invented in 89. Get with it. Mark was. Markiplier didn't come out until 2012. That's true. You did invent Markiplier.
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I'm not sure that they're going to sponsor us because you can't really give much more of a glowing review than what you just gave. I just I've never been an eBay person before I started the lens path because I've always been scared of it for some reason. I was like eBay. You can you can lose on eBay. It's not common, but like if you're not careful, you totally can lose on eBay.
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I've been watching Markiplier since 2008. Wait, 2008? That's in the 21st century. What do you mean? I didn't start 2008. Mark, I've been watching on YouTube for 28 years. What are you talking about? Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. My apologies. I was still in the womb the first time I watched one of your videos. I'm dying of old age now. My great-grandchildren will never know the joys of Markiplier.
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God, I think I know what it is. No, it wouldn't be this. No, that wouldn't make any sense. I was going to say GMOs, but I don't think that's... I think the CRISPR takes that one over. I think GMOs probably technically predate the 21st century as well anyways. GMOs, even if they're bred that way, right? And so they've been selectively breeding commercial crops. I don't know. That's not it.
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That is a good guess. All right, Wade, I know you have a whole bunch of things you're just desperate to get out because you're full of ideas. Chip chop. Let's go. Steam or whatever those like Steam and Epic launchers are. Oh, I thought you meant water vapor. No.
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steam engines i'm gonna choose to go back to the 1900 to 2000 date range and i'm gonna go with steam engines which is still be wrong because i'm pretty sure that steam engines predate the 20th century but no it's not video games it's unrelated to video games but i appreciate the sentiment mp3 player like ipod honestly that's one that i did think would be on here but that's not it either
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sex robots that was a huge thing with the jump from cds to mp3s and then the ipod like standardizing kind of how that worked and stuff it was a big the ipod was incredibly influential and that was 2001 or something 2003 2001 2001 november 10th 2001 and that was huge do you want a hint wade i don't know if it'll save you yes ipod is the correct company for this thing Wasn't the watches.
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We've already covered phones, earbuds or wireless headphones. Nah. Oh, really? Wireless headphones existed before the 21st century. I believe they would have been more like RF wireless headphones or infrared wireless headphones or something, I think. But aside from the technology getting way more better and usable and worthwhile, I don't think that's actually new.
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The first truly wireless earbuds were in 2015, but there's been wireless headphones since even like 1960 there was a type. Is it the AirTag? That's another really interesting one. The very underrated technology, but it's not the AirTag. Wow. What else have they made? This might give it away. It's not hardware. Software. Apple invented software in 2012. You're right, Wade. It's not Siri, is it?
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Yeah, it's Siri. Why is it Siri up there? Siri. Technically, what this says is Siri slash voice assistance and smart home technology, which is just an unbelievably broad spectrum of things to count as one entry. And what a piece of shit technology tree. There was a point where I even thought of like Alexa and that stuff. And I was like, well, smart. That's just smartphone stuff.
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So I didn't even think that the fucking Internet of Things is the plaguest of plagues to ever grace technology. No, that's that's definitely the one on this list that I was like, what a terrible thing. I liked my answer of sex robots that got ignored even more than that. Didn't get ignored. I heard it. I nodded my head in approval.
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Get scammed or whatever. Get some crap. I actually, I bought a pre-built server through eBay that was a good price. And since then, I've actually communicated with that company. I've communicated with that company about like, hey, I saw that you had a listing for this server, but in a different chassis with more NVMebays.
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No, I'm glad it got ignored because I would have just gotten it wrong sooner. I don't know if that was as fun for you and everyone listening and watching as I hoped it would be, but it's fun for me. Oh, super fun. It's interesting. It's very. And that's my main metric for these episodes. I had a bunch of other lists we didn't even get to, but. I think those were some of the more interesting ones.
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And I really didn't think all the way through the fact that the tech one was skewed heavily against Wade. So I'm going to just get a chuck on a fairness point for you there, buddy. He started out strong. I did. I had a lot of good early tech on almost all those lists. You started getting nailing the first few and then really struggled.
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we're gonna call that that's the end of the episode thank you for participating i'm gonna read your scores now and the person whose name i read first is the loser wade you scored points for baldness liftless jason pokemon poster japan excretes butter woes harvey feud or family steve good guess bad guess, and fairness.
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Mark, you earned points for boldness, eBay forklift, 50 bucks, takeaway gas stove, Biden, electrical engineering student, ghosts, ice cream, restaurants, and tech. Mark really dominated the list. You won all three of the lists that we did. Ultimately, Mark, that earned you a total of nine points. Yes. And Wade, did I lie? No, I didn't lie. Wade, you got eight points, making you the loser.
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I was really excited because I was like, oh man, I know he's going to pull the rug out from under me. I'm going to pull it out from under someone, probably the loser. I know I lied last time, but I promised I would never lie again today. At least for today, you're safe. Or anyway, you lost. Mark, winner's speech. This was surprising to me.
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I thought Wade with his UDF experience would have a much broader knowledge, but that might have hindered him because he had too many flavors in his mind. I only had the most popular. It did. UDF has such a wide variety of flavors. It did hinder. Asking who? But I came back. My persistence and my perseverance got me to the finish line and to victory. And I only owe that to myself.
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Thank you, me, for supporting me through all of my troubles, me. You're welcome, me.
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this is the i've talked to my audience over the years and that's the kind of acceptance speech i want people to give when they win awards is to go be like i couldn't have done this without my talent my work my preparedness and my dedication i'd like to thank me above all um i don't think the man upstairs had anything to do with it why would he care family don't call me when i'm working me great job to my beautiful wife susan stop fucking calling me when i'm on set okay i'm busy
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Do you think you could do something where you upgrade my computer if I send it back to you? I don't want a refund, you know, and I don't want to buy the other one. I don't want to do a swap. I'm like, if you have a chassis and they're like, yeah, we'll work with you. We'll absolutely work with you. So there are like reputable sellers that you can work with regularly.
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Overcooked pork chops didn't help me during that interview. See this? This means I was right and you need to make, you need to get a hobby. Ha ha. I'll be home later, hon. Thanks, me. Great speech, Mark. Congratulations to you. Wade, loser speech. I'd like to thank you guys for being a part of this and allowing me the chance to participate.
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I'd like to thank nobody else because they clearly didn't fucking help me. I lost. I'm a loser. I suck. 13 lashes for me later on today. That's it. I don't know. I just like to imagine that modernly 13 lashes means that someone plucks out 13 of your eyelashes, the tweezers. I don't want things near my eyes. Leave my eyes alone. 13 lashes. You said it. Fun times all around.
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Thanks for participating in my list of soad. Lepsis. Cyst. Lepsis. Yeah, it doesn't work. Thanks for participating in my thing I did. We have a merch, distractiblescore.com. I am MySkirm. Wade is LordMinion777 or Minion777. Mark is Mark Plyer. You already knew that. Mark will host the next one. And we are out of here. Podcast out. Yippee!
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Anyway, I'm going to shut up because this does sound like I'm selling out about eBay, but I just fucking love it. No, well, it's not exactly the same, but I get why you like that. I was huge. It was when I didn't have any money when I was a college student. But one of my favorite hobbies earlier in life was just Craigslist in general.
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Just go on Craigslist and scan, browse through and just see like what what are people selling or trading for or whatever? I rarely ever got anything off of Craigslist. And one of the couple of times I actually did, I got absolutely scammed out of my pants and like literally got home and was so deflated about it that I it was like a formative memory from that era of my life. I hated.
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Top 10 Things
But I love I get why you like that about eBay because they have everything. And you can just look if there's anything you want. You can just go and look. And it's it is fun. I've got the craziest deals on 25 gigabit Ethernet add in cards and I see network interface cards. Those things, if you buy them from anywhere else, they're like 200 bucks, like $200.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
50 300 bucks but on ebay because there's so many cells on ebay that take old bulk all these data centers when they when they try to upgrade they don't know what the fuck to do with the rest of their shit so they sell it to a wholesale rip apart person company and they take all the parts and they list them on ebay or it goes out to china and they do the same thing and all these parts that are still good and working end up on these sites
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I get it for 50 bucks. What was and is like 200 bucks as 50 is perfectly good. And I'm just like, yes, I don't know. It just tickles me. I just, I feel great about it. I oddly just found myself on eBay last night. I don't, I go on there maybe like once a year. I really do not do this very often. Molly and I were talking about like Pokemon cards.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the world's favorite... I've done that bit before. Of the most mid-podcast you have ever heard. Distractible. Is that a title we want? No! We're not actually very mid, but some of them are mid. We have an episode called an Emmy-losing episode, and I think also the worst piece of shit episode ever, so those can't be that good.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I used to collect them when I was young, but I haven't for years. Like when they first came out, there was the regular set. Then there was the jungle set, the fossil set, the rocket set. And then there's been like a thousand different Pokemon sets since then. But we're talking about it. And I was like, man, I wonder what like some of the old cards are worth.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Like I know people talk about Charizards and stuff. So let me look up Charizard cards. And there were a few on there. There was like a German first edition PSA 10 Charizard for $26,000. There was a shadowless first edition English Charizard for $254,000. Good Lord. And then there was another, it was like first edition Charizard, $15 PSA 10. And I was like, what?
Distractible
Top 10 Things
And this was when I clicked on this to look, I was like, what's wrong with it? Something, it's a poster of a, yeah. Yeah.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
but that's not immediately clear other than like the price is like it's one of those things where it gets you to click because it seems like it's like okay this is a scam but how is this a scam let's look into it yeah i love trying to figure out what's the deal with that no i that is funny like did i click on the 254 000 card no because if i accidentally was anywhere near the bid button i'd be in trouble whereas the poster it's like well i gotta know what the scam is like come on how are you hustling me let's see
Distractible
Top 10 Things
The only time I've ever actually been felt like I've been scammed because I've actually been pretty good there. There have been very rare times where I bought something in the thing that I bought didn't show up. There's one time where it took way too long for it to show up months and months. I had to like hound the seller to sell it, but it actually didn't show up eventually.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
But there was this other time where I won an auction. I was the only bidder on that auction. And the minimum of the bid was way low, really, really low for what that product was.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
was not so low not like dollars but it was like like the seller would be disappointed and so i was the only bidder and i won and so i was like yeah i paid i waited the seller canceled my order and they said something was wrong with my payment processor or some shit like that or my shipping address was incomplete and then they wouldn't respond to any of my messages but i reached out to ebay and they actually closed that guy's entire account because you cannot do that
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It's a huge problem for eBay because they're sort of subject to your experience with eBay is subject to whoever the fuck that other person is on the other end of any given transaction. And if it's not a reputable or sell reputable seller like you were talking about. Yeah. Like some people just do some shit like that.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
But what's funny is that guy actually had a lot of reviews and he'd sold a lot of products on that account. So and then it's gone because he was like, oh, I don't want to lose it for too low. I bought some stuff on there earlier this year, too. We had a friend in town who helped me refurbish an old PS2. They've got all kinds of cool stuff out there now to like plug your PlayStation 2 in.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It'll like up the graphics to look like they fit better on like. Yeah, like an upscaler. Yeah, upscaler. And then they've got like controllers and stuff that have been refurbished to work. So it's like still the PS2 feel, but you can have the wireless and stuff like that. I bought some stuff like that on eBay, too. It's really good stuff.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
There's like some really reputable companies that do that kind of thing. They're just like, here, have this. There's really cool stuff on there. Shitty people, but there's a lot of great people doing great things, too. I totally believe you could start your business and operate it completely from eBay and it would be a great method to do it. A hundred percent.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I wonder what their cut is of things I've never sold on eBay. It's funny because that was like it's in the movie 40 year old virgin, but that was like a huge thing in like the late 90s, early 2000s. My dad actually did that. My dad in in my youth because my dad was our stay at home parent in our family. My mom was very successful.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
We're like a top 30-ish podcast, like in the... I'll give you a spoiler for later on. This episode is called Top 10 Things, or something like that. What? We're doing a tier list. Yeah, it's like a tier list, kind of. Anyway, welcome back to Distractible. I'm the host because I won the last episode. I'm joined, as usual, by my two competitors for today. One of them will win and become the host.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
And so we're my dad was able to be just a stay at home parent, raise my brother and I.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
he's like a very smart intelligent guy like he's always trying to find stuff to do because he needs things to keep his mind active in the early days of ebay he got into buying stuff specifically you could buy things from sharper image and or brookstone wholesale like you could buy last year's things and you buy them wholesale you buy them you know from like a bulk retailer so you buy like 500 waterproof shower radios right that was kind of a big one he did he had a ton of those
Distractible
Top 10 Things
and then sell them on eBay. And the margin is fine. Like there's a decent margin. All he had to do is buy them, store them at the house, and then pack them up and ship them up whenever he sold one on eBay. It was cool. He ran a little shop out of our house back in the days before that was, now it's like super easy and not that uncommon. But he was a pioneer of the internet.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
But you could, I think you're right. I think you could totally do that. Meanwhile, my grandpa bought 12 dozen eggs one time because they were on sale. We just ate eggs for three straight weeks. Ha ha ha! Mm, eggs. He bought two liters when they were on sale and gave them away for Christmas. Dude, if you got too many eggs, make deviled eggs.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I can only eat so many eggs in a row, I can pound a dozen deviled eggs by myself. Some kind of magical shit happens when you make eggs into deviled eggs. They take up less volume or something. If you sat down for breakfast and someone was like, here's six whole eggs, you'd be like, what the fuck?
Distractible
Top 10 Things
But if someone put a dozen deviled eggs in front of you, you'd be like, I might be able to finish that off. So do you mean a dozen deviled eggs? Like you're meaning six whole eggs still, right? Because you mean the half. The same amount of total eggs. Some kind of magic shit happens. I don't know what it is. Okay. To make deviled eggs, you don't use the yolk, do you? You'd replace it.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Hard boil the eggs, cut them in half, scoop the yolks out, mix those into the mayonnaise mixture, pipe them back in. Okay. There are still part of the mayonnaise mixture. Okay. So you use the whole egg and you add stuff to it. Also, this is such a weird small talk is turning into. Do you guys have that? It's changed my life with boiling eggs.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It's a little egg shaped thing that's flat on the bottom. You drop it into the water with the eggs with you. It has a visible cooking indicator so that the the plastic piece will cook and there's lines in it that say soft, medium, hard. No, what the fuck? Where the line is, is exactly what the other eggs are cooked at. It's exact. I mean, that's interesting, but timing works very consistently.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
I know for a fact, if I bring water to a boil, put eggs in and set a timer for six minutes and 15 seconds, I get jammy seven minutes. I get hard, pretty hard. You know, like it is, but you have to learn like whenever, like we moved, right. And we went from an electric stove to a gas stove. I don't know. I feel like gas stoves work differently.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Well, when you put in the cold eggs, it does change the temperature of the water for a little bit and that can fluctuate it. If you put that thing in there, I don't know how much it costs, but it's changed my... I feel like water looks different when it boils on a gas stove versus an electric stove. It's less bubbly on the gas stove. Gas stoves suck. Okay. I'll say it. Take him away, Biden.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Take everyone's gas stoves, liberals. They suck. Your final act in office, take away gas stoves. Ban gas stoves. I like a gas stove, but I will admit I'd probably be better if I just had an induction. I want induction so badly. I'm not saying like the coils are better, but honestly, I feel like the coils heat faster than a gas stove.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
It's Mark and Wade. They already talked. They don't get to... Don't talk. Don't talk. Don't talk. Don't talk. They're competing for points. No one wins host the next one. That's the way the show works. I am Drew Carey or Aisha Tyler. Depends which version you like better. Anyway, we usually start with small talk. How's it going, fellas? How you doing? How's it been?
Distractible
Top 10 Things
They do, but then they're like, if you turn them too high, then they're that hot temperature for like 20 minutes. If you can overheat and then you have fucking apocalyptically hot glass stovetop forever, it's annoying.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
but induction is magic i've only had it for a very short amount of time i think it was at an airbnb i had once and it's just like it's magic it boils so fast i don't get why some people are like try to make things political when it's just like this is literally better oh that sounds like something a libertarian would say oh you got me i want small government and gas No, it just is.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
The thing that always gets me is don't do this. But generally, like my parents have an induction cooktop. You can literally have a pan on there and be boiling water. And then you can take the pan off and put your hand on. And it's like warm, but you don't even get burnt. It's so incredibly like it's so much safer. It's so much more effective at heating. It's crazy.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
You do have to have the right kind of pans because like aluminum is not inductive or whatever. But most pans work. You just have to like have it's not it's not a big of a thing to have the right pans if you have an induction. It's so good. Does it work with copper? It doesn't work with copper. It doesn't work with copper, but most copper pans have a sandwiched stainless copper bottom anyway.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Some pans won't work, but like generally, as long as you aren't like really particular about having the exact type of pan that doesn't work on an induction cooktop for some reason, it's fine.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
induction plate you can buy that and put it on your induction stove put a copper thing on there and it'd be fine what about when uh for us super rich people who have diamond pans and pots and stuff can you uh boil water in a diamond pot you got that diamond stone whatever whatever i got my diamond pot button yeah for my uh diamond subscribers was there ever a conclusion of how bad teflon actually is for the human body it's not good
Distractible
Top 10 Things
Isn't it a PFAS? Isn't it one of those forever chemicals and that what it's made from? I know the old Teflon was one of like one of the most horrendous ones, but then they have new Teflon. But it's similarly bad in that if you have a nonstick pan, even if it's a modern one and it starts to scratch at all, you're supposed to throw it away because ingesting that stuff is super bad for you.
Distractible
Top 10 Things
There is a new type of nonstick that is not a coating. It's actually like how the pan is made. The microtexturing of it does something about it. It's nonstick and it's better. The pan excretes butter while you're cooking it to make things slippery. Oh, there's a butter button? Just butter.
Distractible
More Broken News
Do we not get them? I don't know. Why is it Oscar the Great? I hear you, a Muppet character.
Distractible
More Broken News
It has everything I want. It looks cool as fuck. It has its own operating system.
Distractible
We Hate These States
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Manipulative Mark sharpens sticks, enhances ornithology, then regally wrecks the greatest republic. Bohemian Bob makes an aquapark, bows to peer pressure, then removes the island's Patriots, Party, and Packers. Romantic Wade is loved up with cicada dare, picks on Pennsylvania...
Distractible
We Hate These States
The Windy City and the Lone Star. From popsicles to population loss. Yes! It's time for We Hate These States. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh no, you keep that until later when you're like, I could really use some Oxy and then you just enjoy that. That's a joke. Don't do that.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ja, ich erinnere mich, dass ich meine Wissenszüge ausgetragen habe, als ich ein Senior in der Hochschule war oder vielleicht später in den Teen-Jahren. Sie gaben mir, was ich wollte. Ich hatte keine Schmerzen. Ich hatte so viele Drogen, wie ich es benötigen musste, um für die gesamte Rückkehr frei zu sein. Was ich mir vorstelle, war gut, weil es eine unglaublich schmerzhafte Sache ist.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich weiß nicht, ob sie zwei oder vier ausgetragen hat oder was. Ich hatte alle vier. Es ist schmerzhaft.
Distractible
Wade For President
Nein, das tut weh. Ich meine, ich weiß nicht, ob es akkurat ist, zu sagen, dass die Opioid-Krise vorbei ist. Ich denke, es wäre mehr akkurat, zu sagen, dass sie es in den Regen starten. Nein, wie Narcan ist mehr aufwendig und mehr Leute wissen, was mit ihm zu tun ist. Und es gibt weniger. Die Todesfälle sind nach unten trenden, aber es ist immer noch eine Sache. Aber wie.
Distractible
Wade For President
It turns out, if you're a doctor who needs to prescribe actual pain management stuff, you have to actually give a shit about your patient and think critically about it, because some people do need some of that, and some people probably should not have access to as much of that. And it shouldn't just be on or off, which really sucks. Sounds like Molly's dealing with a lot of pain, and that stinks.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh, you know. Oh, you know. I've been building stuff. I built a wardrobe. A hardwood wardrobe. I didn't cut the pieces. It came pre-made. But I screwed it together, goddamn it. But also I built a thing. It's like a little tool organizer shelf thing that you're supposed to hang on the wall in the garage and like you put your drills in it and charging. I included James in it.
Distractible
Wade For President
Yeah, I talk like I know the answer, like there's an easy answer. I'm sure that there's not. And I'm sure I can't even offer anything valuable. But it sucks that because of that, I'm sure there are a lot of people who are like, man, can I just fucking have...
Distractible
Wade For President
Stuff that's indiscernible to human eyes. That's the thing about the cancer cells, is it's patterns that are on a pixel level, where it's like a doctor who's seen tens of thousands of images of that cancer. still have no way of really telling, oh, this is that kind of cell versus whatever.
Distractible
Wade For President
Und auch AI sollte helfen, um sicherzustellen, dass ich die richtigen Produkte auf dem Internet kaufe.
Distractible
Wade For President
I don't want smart glasses with a camera that faces outwards, that analyzes my world. I want a projection of ads into my glasses. People talk about like, oh, I just mentioned this thing and then I got an ad for it, like it's lit. I want the ad to beat me to the punch. As I think of, oh, I should buy one of these. My glasses are like, here, 30% off at your favorite store. Blink wants to purchase.
Distractible
Wade For President
Das ist wahr. Das ist wahr. Du willst, dass du nicht mehr bezahlen musst? Oh, das ist ein höherer Niveau, ja. Oh, warte, das ist nicht kompensierbar.
Distractible
Wade For President
I like Barnes. It's folksy. It's like you're a man of the people. I do. I like my name. I think if you're going to short it at all, you should just make it one barn. Wade Barn. Whenever I want to go out at night, Wade Bar.
Distractible
Wade For President
James, our almost two year old baby. And he loved it because mainly it was just screwing things together, which he could help with pretty easily. And he liked he would put his hand on the drill and then I would and he'd be all. weil er dachte, das wäre das coolste Ding jemals. Er hat seine Hand auf den Drill gesetzt? Auf die Rückseite, auf die Sicherheit. Oh, okay.
Distractible
Wade For President
I know that the Vice President is supposed to fill in for whatever your shortcomings are as a candidate. Basically, you want a Vice President who attracts all the voters that you can't attract. And so I'm thinking...
Distractible
Wade For President
hair the just the most hair yeah actually and i'm not saying your vice president should be here but i'm thinking like like the geico cave man would be a great pick for you you shining shimmering splendid up there and then your vice president goes to speak and it's 90 hair with a mouth and eyeballs sticking out of it Cousin It would be an outstanding Vice President.
Distractible
Wade For President
This is where I'm at with my thinking. We have most hair. Geico Caveman, Cousin It. Wait, was it the hand or is it the hair?
Distractible
Wade For President
The Vice President technically is like the President of the Senate or whatever, whatever title.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich habe den Drill gesetzt und er hat seine Hand drauf gesetzt und dann habe ich den Drill gesetzt und es vibrierte und er dachte, es wäre cool. Aber wir haben 90% des Weges gemacht und es scheint, dass eine Schale nur ein Baby-Sized Kühlschrank ist.
Distractible
Wade For President
I feel like it's I'm with Mark, but I feel like you definitely want to make sure your vice president is someone who's very relatable. No weird hobbies, no niche interests. Just off the top of my head, stuff like obscure or radioactive camera lenses or, you know, buying computer equipment from China and shipping it over on a boat.
Distractible
Wade For President
These are sketchy things that's going to come up when you have a vice president who's really being looked at by the American populace. So someone without any of those sorts of activities in their personal history. And anyone can be shorter. I could be shorter than I am. Up to four inches shorter, depending on how much I might need to shorten myself.
Distractible
Wade For President
Und er hat literally die ganze Zeit, als er an Teilen von dem Kühlschrank saß und stand, aber dann haben wir 90% gemacht und es ist nur ein kleines Him-Sized Wooden Bench-Ding. And he just sat in it and was like, oh, you built me a chair. Thanks, Dad. So now we have a work pro branded tool chair holder baby set up in our living room that I don't know if I'm ever going to get back.
Distractible
Wade For President
You can't get taller, but you can always get shorter. Oh, you can absolutely get taller. You can hunch, you can, there's knees, there's hips, there's all kinds of bendy parts.
Distractible
Wade For President
I've been growing this beard for a reason and it is not just to compete with the beards that both of you have. It's for my future and America's future.
Distractible
Wade For President
He doesn't have hair anywhere above, I mean, below his neck. I have chest hair. Look. You have a countable number of chest hairs. I wasn't taking body hair. I could count your chest hairs on my fingers and toes, assuming I know how many that is. That's the only patch. If I pull my shirt down any lower, anywhere else, there's no hair. That's it.
Distractible
Wade For President
You went to Turkey and had chest hairs implanted just so you could do this and be like, look, look. Don't look anywhere else.
Distractible
Wade For President
If you have hair there, you have hair everywhere. That's a litmus test right there.
Distractible
Wade For President
You guys walk up to like the G8 or something, just like world leaders and some one of the other heads of state. It's just like, oh, Markiplier. Oh my God.
Distractible
Wade For President
I'm not going to argue that the Green Giant is not formidable. For Sec Ag, what you really want is just someone or something that really represents America. And you could not do better in that regard than a field of corn. There is no more American symbol of agricultural dominance in this world than a large field of corn.
Distractible
Wade For President
Nobody's not getting behind field of corn for SECAG when they're trying to get that nomination pushed through the Senate.
Distractible
Wade For President
But it's very fun. James is coming into a big dad era, which is fun because I feel like he was kind of all about mom for a long time. But now we're doing stuff. We're building things.
Distractible
Wade For President
Get down, sir! He can't be stopped! Get down! Hey, Mark himself admitted it.
Distractible
Wade For President
Aber ich werde dich einfach aus dem Pass schlagen. Das ist nicht die Antwort. Du willst jemanden, der nicht nur die finanziellen Märkte versteht. Du willst jemanden, der da war. Das wird komisch klingen. Er ist nicht der beste Fastfood-Maskott. oder Repräsentant der erfolgreichsten Schale. Aber er bringt etwas anderes an den Tisch.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich würde sagen, du willst den Burger King als deinen Sekretär des Einkommens. Clowns, Clowns werden bezahlt. Und Wendy tut es gut, bin ich sicher. Aber der Burger King selbst ist einfach ein anderer, anderer Klasse Politiker. Okay, Mark, wir müssen den Burger King überstehen.
Distractible
Wade For President
Just him standing in the field. This is Bernie Sanders. And I am once again asking you, please take some of this money. Oh my God. I can't live like this.
Distractible
Wade For President
Of any politician I can think of, Bernie might be one of the ones where I think he actually mostly does live the values that he talks nonstop about and is not just like a millionaire billionaire who's cashing in on the fact that he gets to sit in on politics. private committee sessions and learns all this shit that he could use to trade stocks or whatever.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh, those are cool. We're getting one of those so bad once he's old enough. Those look awesome.
Distractible
Wade For President
Alright, well, Kratos. People will say this is pandering, and I will say, uh, nuh-uh. But Wade, I think it's arguable, if not definitively true, that one of the best defenses of 2010-era football is the Legion of Boom, the Seattle Seahawks' secondary defense. Von den Tagen von Russell Wilson und seinen Superbowl-Werke und dann der Beastmode selbst und dem Herzen der Legion von Boom, Bam Bam Cam.
Distractible
Wade For President
Du kannst keinen besseren Verteidiger als Cam Chancellor. Du kannst die Legion von Boom nicht gewinnen.
Distractible
Wade For President
Manche sagen, das ist Panning, weil ich weiß, dass Wade Fußball liebt und wir das Interesse teilen.
Distractible
Wade For President
Das könnte ein schlechtes Pick sein. Manchmal ist die beste Defense ein guter Offense, ich weiß nicht.
Distractible
Wade For President
Do you have to fill it or can we actually pass? I will leave. This choice is yours. Oh, I can't think of his name. What's that actor's name? The guy, the smart guy from Idiocracy. The one guy. What's his name?
Distractible
Wade For President
Jarnigan Wilson. Luke Wilson. Er ist nicht der eine, er ist der andere. Luke Wilson, der Joe Bowers spielt. Joe von Idiocracy.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich meine Luke Wilson, aber er muss Joe von Idiocracy spielen während seines gesamten Termins.
Distractible
Wade For President
I forget how he gets, I don't remember the plot of the movie, but basically he like goes to the future or something. He gets cryogenically frozen. I think in the future everyone's done, like he's an idiot or something modern time. And he's like a normal average guy who's a genius where he is because he's the only one with any intelligence at all. Also I fucking love Terry Crews in that movie.
Distractible
Wade For President
I'm not yearning right now. I've never yearned, actually. Never. I didn't actually know that you could make yarn in the past tense. Yeah, yearned. She yearned. I yearned for you. Wade's literally not even paying attention. Wade's gone.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh, God. Cool. I fixed it. Ich habe 100% Selbstvertrauen, dass du es richtig gemacht hast, dieses Mal.
Distractible
Wade For President
The Drive-In. The Drive-In Fast Food Restaurant. Sonic. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Sonic. The Hedgehog. Gotta go fast. Common misconception about this role. Everyone thinks you want something who is energetic, who knows about energy. Nobody knows about energy like an animal slash person slash person animal who has to manage it very carefully.
Distractible
Wade For President
I would nominate Flash, the sloth from the DMV from Zootopia for second. He's that joke where he tells a joke and he's all... Ha, because he's slow, because he's a sloth. Sloths know about managing energy and it's about management. It's about keeping it even and maintaining stores and keeping it safe.
Distractible
Wade For President
Secretary of Doctors and Shoeshiners. Got it. Dr. Scholz. Perfect pick. That's mine.
Distractible
Wade For President
Who could possibly be a better doctor? I assume they need to be a doctor now, because this is the premise we're operating under. Other than the doctor. Who? The doctor, yes. Who? Yes. What? Who? The doctor? Wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff? Anyway, it would have to specifically be David Tennant, because he's my favorite one. But the Doctor in general. He's the one.
Distractible
Wade For President
It's okay, Bob, you won. All right. Hey, that's the first dice roll I've won in quite a while.
Distractible
Wade For President
Can't really have anybody else in that role. Not gonna lie, that was my first instinct. He's fine, but also... Ooh. You know... What's his name? I choose Osmodeus from The Watchmen. Is that that guy's name? Ozymandias or something? Ozymandias, whatever, I don't know. Osmodeus.
Distractible
Wade For President
The douchey guy who lives in the pyramid castle in the Antarctic or something and saves the world by destroying a lot of it. Ozymandias. Ozymandias, that's what I meant.
Distractible
Wade For President
Gotta make sure these skills stay sharp. You and James need to hang out, man. That is the funniest thing. When he wakes up in the middle of the night or whatever, from a nap, he'll literally just sit up and he'll either go, where mama, where dada? Or he'll just sit up and go, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Right? Anybody? One, two, three, four, five? Six? He just starts scouting. He just loves it.
Distractible
Wade For President
I honestly, yeah, I didn't think I was gonna beat Homelander, but... Ozymandias is just so good. He was so good. He was. And very smart. Very evil. Evil? Evil? I mean, good. He's good, maybe. He's unclear. He's unclear.
Distractible
Wade For President
I have a twofer. We love doctors in these positions. You love having doctors. Looks good. Doctors are smart. But this is about housing and urban development. This is HUD. Doctor House MD.
Distractible
Wade For President
You don't know how the series ends? Okay, I won't spoil it for you, but I will say this is what he does after the series ends. The ending is fantastic. So I'm glad you get to experience that for the first time.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ja, ich bin es, ja, ich bin es, also... Es wird viele Warnungen von Warnungen von Konflikten der Interessen in dieser Administration sein, denke ich, aber sie werden da sein.
Distractible
Wade For President
Nein. Es ist kein Titel, es ist ein Descriptor. Ich bin der Bauherr, der Bob genannt wurde.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh, wir müssen ein paar Lichter-Lightning-Runden machen oder so etwas? Lichter-Runden. Staatssekretär des Innern. Jemand mit Agoraphobie. Okay. Angst vor dem Außen-Welt. Sie kennen den Außen-Welt sehr gut. Sie wissen über den Innenraum, weil sie nicht mit dem Außen-Welt reden.
Distractible
Wade For President
Du kannst den Tardis ohne den Doktor haben. Und wir haben ihn schon entschieden, nicht den Doktor.
Distractible
Wade For President
Es ist eine Reihe von Frauen, die auf dem Präzis der Geburt stehen. Ja, genau. Das ist es. Also bekommst du konstant frische Ideen. Bob. Natürlich, ich werde Marks Spielbuch benutzen. Die Wahl für den Staatssekretär der Arbeit wäre Sisyphus, weil er über Arbeit weiß. Sisyphus wurde von den Göttern verurteilt, weil er gezwungen wurde, einen Berg auf den Berg zu rütteln für die Ewigkeit.
Distractible
Wade For President
Possibly one of the hardest forms of labor there is. Is he happy though?
Distractible
Wade For President
Well, they have to understand what they're dealing with. Either way, they have to understand.
Distractible
Wade For President
Secretary of State. I feel like any state would be good at this, but I'm going to go ahead and pick Ohio. Oh, love the pick. Some will say this is pandering, but I think we all know it is.
Distractible
Wade For President
Secretary of the Treasury. There's an obvious correct choice for this one. It's such an obvious choice that I'm afraid it's too obvious, but clearly Scrooge McDuck.
Distractible
Wade For President
I'm sorry, he doesn't even know the candidate's real name. Do you? Do you? It's the Cave of Mysteries. Is that the name of the lion? Ich dachte, es war die Kirche der Wunder. Der Lion ist die Kirche der Wunder. Das habe ich gesagt.
Distractible
Wade For President
I don't know if he can get all the way to 15 yet, but I don't know if you can either.
Distractible
Wade For President
I'm just going to throw it out there. Every time you want to Every time you want to talk to your secretary of the treasury, you're going to need to first talk to your secretary of beetle halves, because you're going to have to find those two hats of that goddamn scarab. Nominate Jafar. For the secretary of beetle halves.
Distractible
Wade For President
Jafar in his crazy desert wanderer salesman costume is the secretary of beetle halves.
Distractible
Wade For President
I would nominate Ashley Madison. Oh, I see why. Tell us why. Who is Ashley? For anyone who is unaware, AshleyMadison.com is a website where men, I think mostly, but people can go to have affairs, basically.
Distractible
Wade For President
It's not Ashley's fault that she was targeted by online hackers. But if anyone should be a secretary of any kind of affairs, it's probably Ashley Madison. Well, that's really helped me hone in on my pick.
Distractible
Wade For President
Look, I don't want to cast aspersions, especially not on him, but I've heard he likes to take three day long naps. Where do you think he's going for those three days?
Distractible
Wade For President
Crazy roster of clients you represent. This is ridiculous. You know what, Mark? Sure, you get it. You get Jesus. Whatever Mark's doing over there, he's just pulling in huge whales constantly. God recognized me and went, Markiplier? My kid's such a fan of you!
Distractible
Wade For President
Then you took a quick picture with Jesus and that was that. History was made. That was it? Yep.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh. I have a winning suggestion. And technically I went first last time, but Mark was supposed to go first, so do I get to go first this time?
Distractible
Wade For President
I couldn't remember his name. I know MS Red from the Blacklist mostly, so that's not who I wanted to nominate.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich werde das einfach ausdrücken. Wie kannst du vielleicht Präsident werden und keine Sekretärin der Boote haben?
Distractible
Wade For President
Uh, this might be controversial, but if you really think it through, uh, it's gotta be Captain Crunch. Knows boats, knows naval warfare, provides delicious snacks.
Distractible
Wade For President
Gabe Newell owns what can only be described as an armada of luxury yachts worth around one billion dollars in total. What the fuck? Dude, Gabe Newell is so loaded. You can only be on one boat at a time. How many boats do you need? Every body of water large enough for a yacht? He's got a yacht? What the fuck? Anyway, Secretary of Technology, sorry, getting sidetracked. I pick Steve Apple.
Distractible
Wade For President
Oh, okay. Ja, also niemand in Schweden oder Finnland wird das dann hören, weil sie nicht mehr Internet haben, vermute ich.
Distractible
Wade For President
Apparently Craig Federighi did some sweet parkour moves at WWDC 2024. Wait, did he actually do this? Wait, did he actually? No way. It looks like him. I mean, it could just very well be an actual parkour person with like a wig and a mask or something.
Distractible
Wade For President
There's never even been one. You're jumping straight from zero secretaries of technology to two.
Distractible
Wade For President
Mark, hast du die Ashley Madison Antwort gefunden? Ja. Es ist noch besser, als wir dachten, Wade. Es sind zwei Frauen. Wahrscheinlich. Nein. Oh, warte. Was siehst du? Ich sehe etwas anderes. Ich sehe, dass Ashley Madison von einem Mann gegründet wurde. Und der Name ist zwei populäre Frauen-Namen aus Nordamerika.
Distractible
Wade For President
So, really, neither of us is punished at all, just like it would be in the real world.
Distractible
Wade For President
Nein, das ist das, was Trogdor in der Kirche gemacht hat. Er hat die Menschen geirrt, richtig? Das wäre ein ganz anderer Art von Drogon. Warum habe ich immer Schmerzen, wenn wir etwas machen?
Distractible
Wade For President
And friend for president, presented by Markiplier. That's it, that's the episode. Bob, winner's speech. Even though we've decided it's not true, I'm going to take the being the builder, who is in fact Bob the Builder, on your cabinet. And I'm honored for the appointment. And I'm sure there will be no trouble getting me confirmed. And it's going to be great. I assume we've already won.
Distractible
Wade For President
Es wird großartig sein, unter dir zu servieren, Herr, und meistens Mark zu servieren.
Distractible
Wade For President
It says your device has changed, Mark. It says you're starting a new recording due to a change in devices. Uh-oh. No. Nothing. Nothing. Sorry, bud. He always does this during my episodes. Yeah, you'll notice, whenever Mark hosts, never mysterious technical problems. Do you have a dry erase board near you? You might just need to write your answers down for the rest of this one.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich dachte, es war sehr lustig. Ich war nur respektvoll und ruhig. Danke. Wir lieben dieses Video. Wir lieben dieses Video.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich habe nie kostenlose Wasserlupe-Stuffe gebaut, aber ich habe viele Videos darauf geschaut. Das ist sehr lustig. Also, du hast Drehbremsen. Also, du könntest einen Pick benutzen oder so etwas, um den Drehbremsen zu öffnen und die Luft aus deinen kleinen Knochen zu blühen, die du hast, wahrscheinlich.
Distractible
Wade For President
Ich könnte, ich kümmere mich nur darum, ob ich irgendeine Art von O-Ring oder Seal drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus drinnen bremse oder einen Mechanismus dr
Distractible
Wade For President
Mine are never that fast. Mine are always like, this afternoon we'll call you.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
It's making my eyes water. Is that good? Yeah, I don't know why that would be happening, but it sure is happening. It's... Can you get concussed from nodding?
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
So one person doesn't have money So they lean on the next person for their money and then that person leans on the next person for their money There's actually unlimited money because if you just keep leaning on the next one It'll circle back around and lean on to the leaning person then they lean a little more you see you see you get does it get through your thick skull now hmm
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Yeah, obviously. And then the best part about a domino is you put it at the top of this, like, pyramid shape, right? And then this domino leans on two more dominoes. It's like a scheme. Yeah. It's a great scheme. Yeah, I love this scheme. It's my favorite scheme.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Yeah, they're essential. They're essential, but expendable. So shut up and be essential. And that's my small talk.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
You know, they say if you smile, you know, you'll start to feel happy. I thought I would feel agreeable. Oh, God.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
if the audience if the listener had to guess which one of the two of them are doing something horrifying yep it was wade smiling man what do you mean oh i was glad it wasn't me because i was just confused and doing what i normally do someone please post that screenshot to the subreddit with no context just no everyone actually everyone spammed that picture so suddenly there's like a
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Either way is going to be terrible on an airplane. All I got to say is, yeah, you got people that lined up and they're like, oh, no. And then you just got.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
punching holes through the fuselage you can plan your flight day on your poop day though you would know you're like ah it's not wednesday i can fly any day but wednesday no that's slow that's slow though right if it's fast you gotta you gotta you can't take long flights slow is like you shit your pants and it's the guy from austin powers getting steamrolled
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Really thick diaper. Diapers. I'm more worried about the much more frequent urination part of it.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Oh, the mods are gonna love that. Ah, it's okay. I'm a mod. I approve.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Well, is everyone sticking with their answer? Slow. I think fast because I would develop a system to handle it. And also it's a good defensive mechanism.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Whenever the predator approaches, he bends over and shits it away. You keep focusing on the shit. I'm focused on the urination part of it. I'm focused on, like, water cutting just pressures.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Hey, if this is my villain arc and I have to go between this and slow, I choose fast. Live life in the fast name. It's a really good villain power. Didn't we have a superhero that was pissed base?
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
And how what does that look like? So I have something to say about the previous answer. Wade, imagine you had diarrhea and you had 10 hours of excruciating pain on the toilet from your slow, slow poop. That's why I keep my morphine bag by the toilet.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Patrick's Day. Look, my shirt application on a daily basis is in complete pitch darkness. So I never know what shirt I'm grabbing. I open my drawer. I fumble around till I grab something that and I'll pick up. No, I don't like this one. I'll put it back and then I'll get one that's agreeable.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Is it kind of stretching the entire experience out along? So maybe it doesn't peak as high, but because it's taking all of the burn that you would feel stretching it out, or is it still just as much? Because I would think the fast would be all the pain that you would experience before
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Here's where I stay slow. And trust me, I understand where Wade's coming from here. I understand. I get it, Wade. Oh, I get it. Thank you. I'll take the point. But... One of the side effects of spicy foods and capsaicin and stuff like that is the endorphin release.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I hang some of them, but I don't know. You hang your T-shirts? Yeah. Why? What are they, fancy?
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
So I'm thinking if it's a much longer up, then the down where you start to feel the endorphins go is also going to be like basically a high. So you get to not go as sustained heat, which I can handle some hot stuff. I've eaten a lot of hot things. Probably my tolerance is less. But even if it goes really still very high and is there longer, that arc...
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
And like what Bob was saying, like you can do get used to it. And then that arc, it's like the endorphins are just going to be cruising for ages.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Well, you wanted the high intensity because it'd be so fun. You said that. Your words are not my... It goes away quick, though.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
When I got pepper sprayed. When me and Ethan got pepper sprayed. Oh, yeah, you did that. It was about the same as eating a pepper going up and then the arc of it. 15 minutes, you know, that's about what eating something really spicy will last. This was very painful, and I wouldn't recommend doing it again. But the downturn, that lasted all day. And it was annoying, but it wasn't that bad.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Like, it was just one of those things where, hmm, my face feels warm. And every once in a while, I was like, ugh.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
huh that's odd um but if i think about that in terms of like if that was also the go up on the other side and i didn't have the intensity of like getting pepper sprayed that wouldn't be as bad yeah but if you have to deal with the pain for like hours instead of or i don't know how long it lasted but like the increasing intensity for that there is something about spicy food that is not just painful it is kind of pleasant for those who like to eat a lot of spicy things like told you bob massacus
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Well, I think they try to make things as cheap as possible. What I'm saying is like the lasting is not part of their decision for most of the industries. It's just cheap and therefore it does cheap and complex. That's where the two axes come down and it gets to where it doesn't last as long.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
You know, in my head, when you said five years, I was like, oh, that's a long time. And then I realized what we're talking about.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I will say, yeah, that is that is the decision that consumers need to make of like what is worth their money, because the only time that I can remember where the cost went up because of consumer decisions is with cars like in that era where they were extremely unsafe and they basically were death traps. If you got in an accident at 30 miles an hour, a chance of survival, very slim.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
But because consumers were like, we want safer cars and safer cars are more expensive to make car manufacturers started to make safer cars that were harder to manufacture with crumple zones and safety features and all these kind of things, because that's what consumers they wouldn't buy the death trap ones, you know. Now, I don't know why I'm doing quotes. They were. Death traps.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
That's how you say it. Death traps, you know. But that's one of the few times where they go towards that. There's plenty of things that are available for purchase today that are usually reliable, but more expensive. And people do tend to go for the cheaper stuff. But that's up to everybody's decision.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Different getting older question. In your late stage of life. Go on. As we enter the final trimester of our existence. Did any of you get this overwhelming urge for industry? Industry? Like personal industry or like... No, in a factory, an assembly line, Factorio style. I did play Satisfactory. Does that count? Right, right.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Would it be better if your taxes were faster or slower than that system? Faster means from the sky descends a giant vacuum tube that goes to your house or chases you down and starts sucking your money out.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
You put your money in the chimney every night. You know the thing the Grinch shoved down the chimney that sucked up all the presents in the cat too? It's that, but it's sucking your money out. And you're like, you gotta hold on.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I think I agree with Wade. As much as my body physically rejects the idea, I think he's right. Because this is how it happens anyway. You go to a cash register. It says tax right on there. You pay that amount. Shouldn't that be it? I taxed right there. Then and there it happened. I don't have that anymore. So all right, we're done, right? If I get my paycheck and I look at it, the tax is withheld.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
So that's what I think, because I was looking at CNC, the computer numeric control. No, we all know what you mean. And I was like, oh, not for me. That's too complicated. And then I went, ah, 3D printing. There's a thing I know. And ever since I've been looking at 3D printing and since, you know, Prusa so kindly sent me an unbelievable amount of printers, an unbelievable amount of printers.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Mark, do you have a different opinion? Honestly, yeah, I also have an accountant, so I don't know.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
They're all mine. My industry. No, I've had this overwhelming desire just to see like an entire factory floor churning. out product after product after product and me overseeing it on a big catwalk up above you know clang boom clang sipping my really fancy decaf coffee because i don't drink caffeine right now and then looking upon my my works my industry the end of you get that overwhelming urge
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Fast doctor. There's no question that fast is better because we already live in the slow world. The slow is what we have and I don't want that. I've never gone to the hospital and it not taken six hours just to see someone. And I'm usually dying when that's happening. Not as dying as much as many people they're dying.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
But if I don't get help eventually, my gut would explode in the past times I've been there. And that's pretty deathly. So fast, yes, please. I like fast.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I've been stabbed with a hot poker for 10 minutes for a biopsy. And let me tell you, they also have medicine at this hospital. And if it acts fast, too, even if it doesn't last as long, I'll take it.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
If I was in another era, I might, well, probably not, but I might be industrious.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Yes, yes, exactly, exactly. No, I don't know. Maybe it's like, you know, since I ordered pants for the first time in a few years, like I've been wearing pants every day with a belt. Never mind, I don't have a belt on today. Oh, let me suck that back in. No, I don't know. I'm really interested in it. I've been watching a lot of videos just about 3D printers.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Winner speech. Thank you. This was a great one for me. Fast winner, fast speech, fast victory, fast done.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
More specifically, I've been watching videos about resin printing, which is a whole different beast. Now, I know I'm basically beholden to Prusa, and I love them dearly and everything about it. Don't they have resin printers? They have one. It's a little older than what new ones are. And I'm not saying it's bad by any stretch of the imagination, but I've never done any resin printing ever.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
And I've heard a lot of things about resin printing that are, it's basically toxic. The fumes are hard to mitigate. It just gets messy because it's liquid. So you have to deal with the liquid that's in the vat after the print.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I love resinettes. I'll print you some resinettes. I'll send them to your house. Show me a video of you eating them. I want the little wrinkly ones. I'll get them real wrinkly for you. But the thing about resin printing is a high barrier to entry, but the quality of print is incredibly higher than what FDM printing, which is just the plastic melted extrusion. It can do...
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Pretty much invisible layer lines that can print like actual miniatures for like D&D figures with incredible quality. It would look like you bought it from the store, you know, and you can make them all yourself. And who knows? That's probably how they make them nowadays. But you could do that at home if you can tackle that.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
So not only do I want to make an industrial military complex, I want to have fumes pumping out the ceiling. I want like a SimCity ass. like big smoke stack pumping out resin fumes into the sky.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I want to make a product that you put over like a campfire and it just pumps out a skull and crossbones.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Anywho, if anyone knows resin printing out there, again, I've never done it before. If you have some printer that can point me in the right direction, I would appreciate it. One of the few times I'll take suggestions because this is... Canon Inkjet? No. Canon PIXMA 925.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I know that Formlabs is like the top tier, but that's so ungodly expensive that I don't want to. So if there's another one, I've heard good things about Haygears. So if anyone knows, let me know.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
By .25 of a million. Otherwise, no, it's $250,000 a year. How much? Because I actually was talking to Tyler about one of the biggest non-QB quarterbacks.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
This is crazy because I actually did talk to Tyler about this, and that does go past the really recently former highest paid non-quarterback, which was Cleveland, right?
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
Why don't we just take Ohio, cannoli that shit, and have both teams meet in Columbus, who has no football team right now, and just sandwich them in.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
The listeners never actually knew that this was occurring all the time. This is our first time acknowledging it.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I can't imagine. Look, yeah, there's many things that, you know, money can't buy. But at the same time, if what you had to do was play the game that you've trained all your life for, for more money than you've ever seen in your life, you don't even have to compromise your morals or nothing. Maybe your loyalty morals, but it's not even that big a deal because the team trades people all the time.
Distractible
Faster or Slower?
I feel like a pigeon pecking at seeds. Is anyone else going slowly blind?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
There are some of the funniest episodes that we've ever done in this past year, which is shocking because of how little time we actually had to do all this. Like, I went through so many different setups. I was in a bathtub for a little bit. I was on the floor multiple times. I wrote the score in a napkin. We went back to Bob's hot tub and we did a Together episode.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
We talked about buying a movie theater. I talked about various hyperfixations that changed all through. One of the earliest episodes of this year was actually Len's chat with Mark Part 1. Which was in front of the fireplace at my house, right? Yes, exactly. Deer penthouse. Deer penthouse did happen, yes.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I think people were scarred for life when they heard the last story of that episode, but still, extremely funny. The first one of Wadey's Widow Philosophy Hour was this year. Really? On January 19th, 2024, Wadey's Widow Philosophy Hour. We've done a couple of those, Seth. That's been a recur- recur- recurring? No tier lists, I don't think, this year. I don't believe any tier lists.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
We still have time. I could do a tier list of episodes. I did think about that. I'm scanning over the episode names, and I gotta say, it's not enough for me to remember what happened in most of them. Oh, I remember. Do you? I remember, yeah. Squid Game 2? Don't fucking have a clue what happened there. I don't- I can fly? Oh. Um... There's one called You'll Never Believe What Happened. No idea.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
There's one called Mark is a Visionary. No idea. Oh, I got the Vision Pro. Right. Midface Maxing was this year. Oh, yeah. Was the Distractible mascot this year? Yes, that was this year, I believe. So we created that mascot. I upgraded myself. What happened in the episode Tear Down These Balls? What? Wade hosted that one. Wade, what is that? What was the date on that one? March 11th.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Tear down these balls hosted by you, won by me. There's a description that still doesn't make it make sense. No, yeah, this doesn't make sense. Do you want me to read it or you? Read it, yeah, sorry. In a world of surge pricing beanie babies, Kit Kats, and sperm, distractible always prospers. The fuck does that mean? Tear down these balls. What happened?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
uh i will say one of the funnier ones just because and i didn't even come up with it lixian sourced all the the sound bites for it was animal noises that was good just from you guys's reactions to the animal noises i fucking love that episode so funny you know back whenever we first started keeping track of points i didn't really mark down words for what each point was for so i don't know which one of these was tear down these balls
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You just have a bunch of randomly scribbled points for some of the earlier ones. Yeah. Oh, man, you actually have kept every record of it. I know we're supposed to. I have all of mine are all in one book. So I have every episode I've hosted this season is all in the same one. Damn, I need to do that. February 6th is the very first one that I've got notes for you.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Damn, I gotta I gotta be better about that. Did we start keeping score this year as well as that this year?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And he was he was kind of scared of Santa last year, which is pretty common for little kids. He was two years old this year and we took him to meet Santa and we were like standing outside of Santa's area. And it's like a whole there's Christmas trees all around and it's decorated. We're standing outside and he's all Santa. Oh, oh, oh, Christmas tree, Christmas tree. He would not shut up.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
yeah i think so my my first score is pants season four episode five march 15th is the first one that i have in this book i don't know if i wrote down a couple earlier ones and other stuff because i got this specifically to do that obviously i mean i used to keep track on like just like a notepad or something that we would delete it but once we started having to keep the record or whatever have it written down it's always been here so february 6th is the very first one i've gotten here
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You know what happened in May of this year that I've still not let go of? What's that? Fucking 20 questions and the chapstick debacle. Right. Oh, man. That was in May of this year. That still haunts me. We have to settle that. We have to settle that once and for all, but not today.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I would like to know what happened on this February 6th recording where Mark lost, maybe they're not minuses, but if they are, Mark, you lost like 30 points for Jesus. I got crucified Jesus, lenses, Jesus tragedy, Mark wrecked Jesus. Plus eight points for repairing things. Interesting. I don't know what happened. Fascinating. Anyway, so another episode is Gnide Wind.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
That is the deer penthouse forum. There's a part one and a part two of that part one also. Hilarious. So many, many, many laughs this year. 20 easy questions was this year. What was that wall, guys? Adrian. Oh, God. What was the treaty, though? That's the one no one cares about. Westphalia. Westphalia. There you go. Westphalia. Fuck, I was going to say Versailles again. Damn it.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
What was the element? Astonium. That's really close. Astatine. Astatine. See, easy questions. Easy questions. Another one. I honestly don't remember. Those are the ones I always remember because they're funny. I don't really... I didn't get any of those. Well, no, I would have gotten the first one right. Yeah, you got Hadrian. Well, there were 17 other questions, so I can't remember either.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Regardless, it's been a banger year for Distractible, but I want to know, has it been a banger year for us as people? What have we not done in accordance with our own goals this year? Because I'll tell you guys, I had a lot of goals this year. I thought the movie would be up. That's probably my biggest one. Yeah, Spring, right? Yeah.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I was like, I fucking thought the same thing. Where the fuck is that movie? Where? Why is it? But you lost it. Yeah, I can't find it, man. It's gone. Hopefully someone turns it up and returns it. Maybe. That is probably the biggest one that I was like, man, but it's not for lack of trying.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I did at least try at that one because I felt like I put in a ton of work into it and I have and I still have work left to do on it. There's still conversation to be had and the sound is being finalized.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
The other things that I haven't accomplished this year is I didn't study a bit of Korean. Even a tiny bit of Korean this year. Even from your one note card? Nah, that wasn't for Korean.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And it's a shame because my excuse before was that I had no time. And there were many times this year where I did not have a single second to spare. But let's be honest. I've been playing a lot of Bellatro. If those Bellatro cards had Korean on them, like just like just if there was some vocab Bellatro game. Oh, you could set it to Korean. Oh, imagine. Can you do that?
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New Year, Old Us
No, I just like if you could set it to Korean, that'd be sick. Oh, man. If they could make language learning as fun as that card game, it would be so easy to learn. Wait, wait. What's your highest? Do you know what your highest hand is? No, I think I've only gotten like a couple million. I don't understand how people get into the 10 exponential power of numbers. My best hand is 35.6 million.
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New Year, Old Us
He's very he's in a stage right now where he's super chatty. It's adorable. And then it was like our turn and we go through the line and we walk in and like he stands at the entry and we're like, it's Santa James. Go meet Santa. And he does that kid thing where he's like. Like two inches at a time. Wouldn't say a damn word. Walked up to the guy. He was a great Santa.
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New Year, Old Us
35 million? 35.6 million. How in the... I've put a lot... Wait, have you played this game yet? I haven't. Dude, don't. You'll get stuck on it. That's the thing is, my best hand is 35.6 million, but my progression is... I'm at like 21% overall progression. I don't, I have maybe 20 hours total played in this game. Cause it's on my, I got it on my phone and that's the only place I play it.
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New Year, Old Us
And it's like, it's awesome. Anyway, I don't know what half this is cause I'm only 16% and I feel like I've beaten the game a couple of times, but then I realized like, I see other people that have like, I score of like three point three to the power of three to the power of twenty six or something like that. I know my highest hand is one point five million.
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New Year, Old Us
So one point five million is my highest. And I had some pretty what I felt was pretty good multipliers multiplying the multipliers. And I was like, OK, I got I got this. My name is Markiplier. I know how to do multiplier. I got it. And no, no, not at all. I still lose on like round four sometimes to stupid. Dude, it happens. No, it's all it's all about the draw.
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New Year, Old Us
Like, I don't know if there's a point where you get to start with more stuff that's more consistent, but it's you can still lose in the first round. Oh, shit.
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New Year, Old Us
All right. Play it. Play it. All right. Maybe not right now, I guess, but he can do what he wants. Anyway, it's an awesome game. It's very fun. I got an ace. No, never mind. There's a hilarious back and forth that the developer was doing with Peggy 18. Because in Europe, they rated this game Peggy 18. For gambling? Yeah, apparently. Well, that makes sense because there's so much gambling in it.
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New Year, Old Us
21! Hut! This guy's played football before, you can tell. Yeah, you don't know Peggy Sandra 2118? It's also my favorite Bible verse. Are you Peyton Manning? I'm going to gloss over that because we're getting off topic and I'm bringing it back around to regrets because I didn't learn Korean and I haven't worked out at all.
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New Year, Old Us
Although my server building has gotten me a little bit better in shape and weirdly more conditioning, I have not accomplished anything that I really set out to do this year. Are you guys the same? I have a couple regrets here. This is a very adult niche regret of being like your own business owner, but I have meant to all year get health insurance through my business.
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New Year, Old Us
So that way, like I'm not just paying it all out of my personal pocket every month. I haven't done it. This was the maple syrup, I believe, year where I had to replace the furnace and AC unit because the weird maple syrup smell outside, which I think actually in two days I'm due to change the furnace filter. Yay, another adulting fun. That takes like five seconds. I just don't want to do it.
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New Year, Old Us
did i tell you about the uh water filter snafu no so we have filtered water and you have to change out like the filter is like a bottle that just like screws in and you're supposed to change it every six months so i went to change it a month ago right before we had visitors i mean like
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New Year, Old Us
the day before we had visitors and molly had just like cleaned up the kitchen we'd cleaned the house everything was like sparkly shiny i was like you know what i'm gonna go ahead and change out this water filter to even have fresh water for everyone when they get here this is gonna be great and i've read the instructions are like easy to change filter don't even need to shut the water off just unscrew pop the new one in screw it in you're done and i was like how do you filter the water if it doesn't go into the water why would why would you not have to shut the water off but all right if they say so i start to unscrew the old one
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New Year, Old Us
The guy who was doing it, I mean, Santa, was great. And he was like chatting him and asking him questions. He had his zebra with him because he wouldn't put the zebra down today. He's like, oh, you have a zebra. I love zebras. Maybe you could help me take care of my reindeer. Oh, and James was just like. And then it was time for the picture and we were like, go hug Santa.
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New Year, Old Us
water everywhere is this the one in your fridge no no it's under the sink like we have um the kitchen faucet has like another little filtered water faucet no you probably should have turned the water off yeah yeah i really thought i should have and you know under the sink there's all those little levers that turn off water to different things yeah there's probably like a separate shut off just for that one thing i bet well i panicked and i was like i don't know which one of these it is let me run down and shut off the main water valve oh no
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New Year, Old Us
So I ran down, shot the main water valve, ran back up, and guess what? There's still water in the pipes after you do that.
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New Year, Old Us
pouring out all over the wood floor it's all a disaster molly's grabbing towels it's a mess you know if you had just screwed that back in it might have i tried and even like once i don't know once that seal was wet it was like oh i'm not going back in bitches but eventually i turned off man once you start flipping those things into the sink they work a lot quicker than the water main shut off
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New Year, Old Us
Oh, yeah. No, that's like it's what they're for. But that cabinet never been cleaner before. I had to have one good water scare this year. I think we replaced toilets this year. That might have been last year, but we replaced some toilets again. All the fun house stuff, man. All the fun house stuff.
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New Year, Old Us
I don't know if those count as regrets, but they're certainly like dings on the fun that this year had. I mean, it sounds like you regret not turning the water off. That's for sure. I regret not flipping that little handle right away, too. It's really easy. Once the water's off, those filters could not be easier to change out. Yeah. It's like putting a cap on a water bottle. It's so simple.
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New Year, Old Us
When there's water not pouring out, it's crazy how easy it is to screw that in. It's totally understandable for me to do this because I've been doing a lot of water cooling and I have made some really stupid boneheaded decisions about the wrong thing to unscrew at the wrong time. The difference is I'm surrounded by very sensitive electronics.
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New Year, Old Us
Even a drop gets in one of those power supplies, it's gonna explode. Maybe. I had something that was not my fault that I didn't realize was an issue because I had one. It was a pre-built like mount for a CPU. So you put it on there. It's cooler with like pre-piped, you know, tubing to go through so you can just plug it in something. But it had an adapter at the end that I didn't have.
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New Year, Old Us
So I was just going to cut it off and replace it because I'm like, I was cutting all this tubing anyway. I'm like, it looks like high quality tubing, but it still cuts. I didn't realize this thing was pre-filled. Ha! Which to me makes no sense at all. So all of a sudden I cut it. Goosh. I don't know why it was pressurized, but it was pressurized.
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New Year, Old Us
This stream of viscous green goo that I've never seen in my life. Like cartoon radioactive material goes pshh. And it's getting everywhere, but thankfully it's going against the wall and not into the server. If I'd have been pointed that way, right into the server. Thankfully, right against the wall. So it was, like, pressurized, though, huh? They must, like, vacuum prime those.
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New Year, Old Us
Like, pull a vacuum and then just, like, open a valve and it's all... And sucks it in and... Probably, yeah. Because it was sealed with, like, quick-release couplings at the end. And I was like, that's cool, but I didn't have the connectors for it. But I have connectors for other ones.
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New Year, Old Us
And he like did that thing where he didn't move his body, but he leaned in slightly closer to imply that he was like, hug. It was really cute. The pictures turned out pretty cute, but he was, it's just, it's, he's, you've met, you both have met him.
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New Year, Old Us
As it's getting all over the wall and it looks like, you know, an alien just like got shot and the green acidic blood just went against the wall and all over my hand as well. I remember seeing a warning on the box that said, warning contains perchlorate materials. It's hazardous waste. And I'm like, what in this could possibly be hazardous waste? Oh, I bet it's that green stuff.
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New Year, Old Us
My instinct was just aim it in my mouth. So I was all, I have to contain the flow. So I looked up what perchlorates do and perchlorates, they disrupt the function of the thyroid gland by interfering with the iodide uptake and thyroid hormone productions. Well, that's kind of important. Good thing that's not in your hands. Good thing. So I'll probably be fine.
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New Year, Old Us
Did you consult anyone or just go wash your hands and just like, ah. I don't know. I don't know what I do. Anyway, this was a few days ago. Hello, Poison Control. I got percolate on my hands. Honestly, maybe I should call them because it's probably not great. It doesn't sound like it's completely harmless. It sounds like it could do some stuff.
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New Year, Old Us
But then again, I have been very attentive to iodide and I went on many a ramble about iodide in salt and how people should have that and not get just any salt that says, just a stocking in iodide, a necessary nutrient, because it's very good for you and your thyroid uses that.
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New Year, Old Us
i'm just gonna have a bunch of extra iodide in there now so i've got a prescription to eat as much salt as i want that's what i hear anyway that's uh it might also not be in that fluid because i've never encountered another coolant that has a warning like that on it so who knows what it is but anyway i got green goop everywhere
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New Year, Old Us
Someone came to my chat the other day asking about, what was it, the sugary fruit thing? Oobly? Owbly? Weebly? Oobly? Weebly fruit? It's so funny because I don't know how many times I said brazine in there was the actual sugar. And I said, it's from the Oobly fruit. And everyone was like, yeah, Oobly sugar! And I'm like, wow, people really just latch on to one thing more than the other.
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New Year, Old Us
He's not particularly shy in general, but when he meets like people in costumes or strangers, he doesn't know who are, you know, but he knows from TV or whatever. It's a weird reaction. I can't tell if it's abject horror or he's just like, oh,
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New Year, Old Us
It's brazine, which is the thing. The Oobly is the fruit. I don't need a, I don't have a kilogram. I got it, by the way. Oh, shit. I got it. Did you stab a knife into it when you got there and take your pinky and like... Do you want to see it? Kind of. Yeah. Let me go get it. Yeah. All right. Handshake. Okay. Yeah. How can we mess this up? He's hosting. I just want to scare him again.
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New Year, Old Us
The viewers won't find this very entertaining. We could just do nothing. Just be smug. Oh, I agree. Just fake handshake him. Yeah. I think maybe you, if you're up for it, as things go on, you should just like randomly just be like, oh, is that one? And I'll just be like, yep. Okay. And then like pretend like you're writing something or whatever. Just have an ongoing bit. Okay.
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New Year, Old Us
Okay, so, yeah, my mom had moved it. My mom's home right now, so... Anyway, this is the brazine, right? Yeah, man, we can see it. Yeah, let me show you. That looks like a thing you should definitely ingest a lot of. I don't know why it wasn't flagged immediately. It just comes in a bag. Man, if you ever want to import a bunch of white powder, apparently brazine's your secret ticket.
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New Year, Old Us
Yeah, apparently. It was really funny because it came with a material data safety sheet, which if you know, when you have any kind of material, usually in a laboratory setting, it has a safety sheet to tell you what to do if something goes wrong. And so this is a sugar, and it's like, yeah, use in baking. It's heat safe.
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New Year, Old Us
And then on the material data sheet, it said, if you get it in your mouth, wash out as soon as possible. Contact poison control. Make sure you have a chemical shower and an eyewash station nearby. I'm really hoping they just copy and pasted the wrong thing.
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New Year, Old Us
I tried it, yes. It is super weird. How do you ingest it without putting it in your mouth? I think I really do think that was the wrong thing because it said a lot of things that didn't gel with what it was. Even the description of it wasn't right. It was talking about a brown powder. Are you sure you got the right product? Yes, because I tasted it. So I know it's good.
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New Year, Old Us
so what's really weird is like it at first it's super strong because it's a thousand times sweeter than sugar is but it it definitely tastes sweet but it's a different kind of sweetness right and a tiny tiniest tiniest little little itty bitty like tip of my pinky dip it in fills your entire mouth it feels like every surface in your mouth is suddenly coated in this sweet stuff
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New Year, Old Us
And it's so aggressive that it's not exactly pleasant. And the sweetness lingers in your mouth for like 10 minutes. It is weird. It's super weird. Bob, is that one?
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New Year, Old Us
He's here. Oh. But it was very cute, and we had pictures, so we're sending everybody pictures. Like a Christmas story, whenever Santa, like, kicks the kid down the slide. Shoot your eye out, kid. Has he seen that movie yet? Nah, he has no reason to fear Santa from the media we've showed him.
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New Year, Old Us
New year, new us. New year, new us. It's not the new year yet, man. Anyway, so this, I believe this stuff would work really well with like, I want to try to make a lemonade out of it because I believe that if I, I believe it would go well with a tart or sour thing to balance out the tartness and I could use very little of it. You should get a bag of citric acid.
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New Year, Old Us
and then come up with a powder-to-powder ratio, and you could just make, like, eaten powder. Maybe. Would it counter spice, like a ghost pepper with two dots of brazine? It would counter it right out, I'm sure. And I actually, one of the first things I said to Amy was that, like, what if instead of the cinnamon challenge, I did the brazine challenge?
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New Year, Old Us
I tried to eat a whole spoonful of this without any water. Oh, man. Oh, no. No. You mean that stuff that shows up with a don't ingest warning? I think it's a great idea. That was not applicable to this. I don't think that that was related. I'm not 100% sure. Keep that sheet around just in case you end up going to the hospital though. You read the warnings on this, right? Yes. I knew it was wrong.
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New Year, Old Us
While my family was in town, she wanted me to invite friends for dinner. And so I, of course, being the guy that I am, said, you want to try some brazine to everyone at the table? And they were like, yeah, yeah, we do. So I... I put powder on a plate and I use a knife to divvy it up into little sections.
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New Year, Old Us
And my cousin comes over, Yeojin comes over, and she's just looking at the plate like... She doesn't speak English perfectly, so it's just like she doesn't know how to ask if we're doing drugs or not. And I don't know how to say what we're doing, so I didn't even bother. Anyway, so everyone tries it and it ruins the meal for everyone because it was right before dinner.
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New Year, Old Us
It didn't ruin it entirely, but everything after that tasted sweet. Every single thing we ate, especially the soup. So when I... The rest of the food got okay after a few minutes, but then the soup stayed sweet for me the entire time.
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New Year, Old Us
Every time I went to... It must have, like, the powder was hiding in your mouth and the soup was, like, dissolving it and finding it in all the little... In your gums and whatever. When they say a thousand times sweeter than sugar, they just mean, like... You only need one one thousandth of this to match the effect of sugar.
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New Year, Old Us
I don't have a measuring cup like that. We were talking about that in the context of it's sweet, but it's protein based, right? Yes. Yeah. So it's not actually a good source of protein. It's just interesting that it's not. It has no glycemic response. Yes, exactly. Where's my one four thousandth cup of sugar? Yeah. All right. These cookies cook recipe calls for one cup of sugar.
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New Year, Old Us
We did accidentally show him some of the Santa Claus, so maybe he thinks Santa is Tim Allen, and he doesn't like him. That's an entirely reasonable response. Ha ha ha!
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New Year, Old Us
So let's run that conversion. I don't even know if you could. What's one? What's one one thousandth of a cup? A micro teaspoon. I think the imperial system fails us at scales like this. Damn it. We should have used kilograms. That's the word. Alga kilograms. Yes. Is that what they use over in London? Yeah. Where the Weebly fruit is imported from Africa.
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New Year, Old Us
I think it would work well if you mixed it with like a little bit of other artificial sweeteners and then also sugar. And like you found a ratio because all of it balances it. I believe it helps balance all those others out. The Internet is smart. Convert one cup into milliliters, 236.6 milliliters approximately. One one thousandth of that is 0.236 milliliters.
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New Year, Old Us
It doesn't really work for powder measurement, but for a scale reference, that's how much rosine you need for a cup of sugar. That's so small. A cup equals. Oh, my. So you were essentially pounding a cup of sugar or more, depending on how much of that stuff you were putting in your mouth. Yeah. I wonder why it tasted so sweet. Anyway, you want to try some?
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New Year, Old Us
I honestly do, but I don't think the Internet is capable of that quite yet. That's crazy that you only need one grain per day and you have a whole bag of it. Yeah, well, you have like a lifetime supply of that shit now. I was wondering why a kilogram costs $270. It makes a lot of sense now. Wait, so that's a kilogram. Oh, I don't know how dense it is. How many milliliters in a kilogram? Oh, man.
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New Year, Old Us
you walk into the north pole and you're like i mean whoa wait oh and then he brought you cookies wade he did yeah i was gonna say james delivered cookies to me today he was really sweet he was like greeting me he and redden came by and i forget uh what all words he said but he said hello and he said bye bye he handed me the cookies and i was like thank you and she's like say you're welcome he's like welcome and i was like
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New Year, Old Us
It's one liter of water is one kilogram. You have 2,365 cups of sugar in that bag? Is that accurate? Wait a second. I just did math in my head. It's probably wrong, but... No, I think you might be right. I think I have a theoretical equivalent of 2,300... A couple thousand cups of sugar. Hey, for 200 bucks, that's a deal. That's not bad.
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New Year, Old Us
I'll be pissed if my neighbor comes over and asks for a cup of... I have a cup of brazine. What are you making? That's my entire warehouse of sugar. World's largest pancakes. I think some people listening to this podcast may hear me talk about some random bullshit and assume that I'm just talking about it in a very theoretical sense. I've gotten everything that I've talked about.
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New Year, Old Us
I have obtained every single thing that I have mentioned that I am obsessed with. I have a bucket full of glabrasol. I have a lot of it. It's sitting in a tub outside. I can't wait to see that that cooling system. I'm ready for it. I have a theory to make it work that would simplify a lot of things. I realize more cowbell. God, no, please.
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New Year, Old Us
No, but I have a theory of how it could work, but I won't get into it because I've been yapping way too much for this episode. And you guys, I need to hear your regrets. Well, Wade was talking. I was trying to think about regrets. I think we talked about New Year's resolutions at the end of last year. And I basically said, I don't do that because I am low.
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New Year, Old Us
The obvious one for me is I don't think I've worked out maybe five times this year. Probably not enough to see results. What about getting your fridge from a major corporation? I did have to buy a fridge again this year. That was a pretty big failure. I was trying not to do apply. You did like house and appliance based failures. I was trying to do other stuff. We're adults here.
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New Year, Old Us
We're allowed to have adult regrets. All right. This is this is real. And people people have been talking about this since I mentioned it in passing. My car, my Subaru. I feel a little bit like a failure for that. I am selling it. It will be gone soon. It was a good car and it was like a dream car. And I did all the stuff to it that I wanted to do.
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New Year, Old Us
I think I'm not as much of a car guy as I thought I was. I think that's a thing because it wasn't really like a hyper fixation. I always like cars and I still like cars. I still just like go on cars and bids and websites like that and look and be like, oh, there's a there's a 1992 Fox body Mustang. Oh, it's a roller chassis. Bring your own engine and transmission. I don't know if I can do that.
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New Year, Old Us
It's hard. It's such a hard hobby. I'm so used to hobbies being more like computers where it's like a huge pain in the ass and you have to learn some stuff to do car shit. You need like, you know, like a big space.
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New Year, Old Us
And also you need to be really willing to crawl underneath of a thing that weighs several thousand pounds and is probably not going to fall over on the things that you lifted it up and set it on. Jack stands are very safe. It's probably fine, but it does make me feel a little bit like a poser. I talked a lot about cars. This year, and I talked about that Subaru a lot over the last couple of years.
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New Year, Old Us
I think my car era is over, guys. I think I'm a fake car guy. It's more like a realization because it wasn't really a resolution that I had, but it feels like a failure. It's not, but like it feels like a failure. That qualifies.
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New Year, Old Us
I think so because you reach the end of the road and you're like, oh man, I feel like it wasn't as satisfying as it should have been, especially if it was like something you thought about in the long run. You know what you could be, though, Bob and Mark, you as well. I told Bob this earlier. I got an email from a guy works in the fossil industry.
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New Year, Old Us
Why hook us up with some really expensive fossils we could buy? I was never in on fossils. That was a you and Mark thing, just to be clear. I think when you reach this age, we have a few paths ahead of us that are slowly diminishing. And if car guy isn't your thing, then you've got gun guy and way too political guy. Those are the only two other options? Those could be the same thing, actually.
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New Year, Old Us
Those most likely are the same thing. Woodworking guy. Woodworking? You could do woodworking. Can I be golf guy? No. Oh. You can, but like golf is what you do when you're not doing one of the other things. Wait, we've talked about this. I think I might be a woodworking guy. I have dreams. I'm that guy. Like I have no woodworking skill and a random smattering of tools for things.
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New Year, Old Us
oh thanks and then he put his hands out like all right i'll give them back i was like oh uh there's offers i'm not gonna they're also very good cookies but no it was sweet seeing him i can't believe how vocal he is now because compared to last time we saw him oh he literally just talks constantly it's crazy well he was kind of shy around me the first couple times i guess i've seen him a handful of times now at least but uh
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New Year, Old Us
I have projects I've done one time ever, but I'll look at videos online where someone is like, I built this custom fit cabinet. It fits perfectly in this spot. It's trimmed in. And I look and I'm like, Yeah, I could definitely do that. Get some two by fours. You build the base. Get some nice plywood. You know, some finished plywood. Use a little iron on veneer on the edges there. Get some nice.
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New Year, Old Us
I could do that. Never done it in my entire life. The tooliest tool I own is the cheapest circular saw. I could buy it at Lowe's one time when I needed to build a step in the garage out of like two by fours and two by sixes. But I absolutely could be a woodworking guy. Maybe that's my new era this year. What if I did that? Do you guys want some woodworking stuff?
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New Year, Old Us
I would love for you to become a woodworking guy. Jason is big woodworking guy. Not my brother. Pam's Jason. He's huge into woodworking. He just builds stuff all the time. And he has the tools for it. And he understands the tools. And it's like it combines a lot of different little hobbies. And it's like, oh, man, that's really cool. Like, he's gonna get a CNC, a wood CNC soon.
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New Year, Old Us
I got him, like, a low-powered laser, like a laser cutter. It doesn't take any gas, like, it's a pure, just, like, electric laser, which, you know, has limitations in the amount of power that it can put out. But he can definitely etch into things, burn, like, designs into wood, and cut through some things. And it's like, he really does make a lot of stuff, and it's really cool.
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New Year, Old Us
I just go to Ryobi days, and I look around, and I'm like, oh! I'll buy this tool and then I never use it because I don't have anything to use it for. That's kind of where I'm at right now. This is this is turning me on to. I don't know if this is a thing I will do. This is not a defined personality. You've said I could have.
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New Year, Old Us
There is a YouTube channel called Strange Parts, who is a guy who lived in China and shopped at the marketplaces for like secondhand iPhone parts and stuff. And he's done a lot of videos about customizing iPhones and things. Recently, he released a video. I think it's his most recent video. Still, he made his own iPhone.
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New Year, Old Us
iPhone, like the entire enclosure, everything except for the screen and the internals out of billet aluminum. He started with a block of aluminum and fully machined, including threaded screw holes and an undercut around the edge of the case, fully measured and machined just with his own measuring techniques and machining. And he had to make like machine fixtures. It's like a little tabletop CNC.
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New Year, Old Us
So it's not like a machinist or whatever, but it's you did these processes. He built his own fixtures to hold the phone. at very specific angles, and it's fascinating. It's a 30-minute-ish video. If that's part of woodworking, I could definitely get into that. And it's well-respected.
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New Year, Old Us
I think of all the hobbies that you could have, people go, like, woodworking, and they're like, hell yeah, that's awesome. Meanwhile, I got my Glauber Salt in servers, and people just spit on me as I walked down the street. Dude, people do not respect the Glauber Salts at all. They don't at all respect the Glauber Salts. Cooperative board games, Legos, and video games. I am a child.
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New Year, Old Us
None of those can be your personality. We need some stronger stuff here. I just downloaded Bellatro. Okay, all right, Bellatro point. You get a really good one. Oh, you could be Bellatro guy? I have the highest score here. I am Bellatro guy here. You just said I wasn't strong enough of a personality. I didn't realize Bellatro was that strong.
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New Year, Old Us
I play Bellatro when I'm half asleep on the toilet or when the baby won't sleep and I'm trying to get him to sleep. But I'm bored because it's the middle of the night. Video games, yeah, are not well-respected. There's still people to this day, we've talked about before, that don't respect video game playing as like an actual hobby.
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New Year, Old Us
Even I feel like the last time we saw him, which maybe was out to dinner or something, but he was a little bit more quiet. But no, he was chatty, just kind of talking to himself, looking around. He said like a Presley came out with me, my dog Presley. And he said Presley's name. And I was like, Presley, like prompted. We were like, did he randomly pick anything up and throw it and go, go get it?
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New Year, Old Us
They think we should grow up and do something with our lives like woodworking. Dude, D&D on every Wednesday, video games. I'm living the high life. That's what I'm starting to realize. Wade actually is living such a fulfilling, beautiful life compared to us who are always searching for the next high. You guys are always looking. I'm here, man.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You found that Dragon Ball Z gacha game six years ago and you stuck with it. I've not played that in like two months. What are your current mobile game obsessions then? Other than I assume Bellatro. I'm not really doing much on mobile. I'll be honest with you. It's been computer stuff. I've been... Wait, I brought this on us. Nevermind. I'm sorry. He's about to say it. He's going to say it.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
It's been Diablo 4, Path of Exile. Okay. You know what? You know a weird one? I've not been playing, but I've been watching and learning. Dude, this has helped me go to sleep so quick, but also like I actually am interested is Farm Simulator 25 videos.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I remember us playing it and I didn't know what the hell it was like don't you ride the tractor and then it just does stuff but there's like seeders there's harvesters there's cultivators weeders when someone knows what they're doing oh it's impressive it was really really satisfying you You know what intrusive thought I have about that is I really like the farm sim games.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You know that Logitech makes a full desk mount setup where, you know, they have like racing wheels, right? Where it's like a steering wheel. They have a setup that's a farming simulator, three module setup where it's like the center one is like a steering wheel with some buttons and things. And then there's like a joystick thing. One for like operating the tools and switching.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And then there's another one that's just like a big ass switch panel that's just got like 20 switches on it. And so you could be you have your whole like tractor cockpit set up. I never would ever buy that. But also every time I see it, especially if it goes on sale, because I get like sale emails and stuff. And it's like, hmm. It's on sale. Usually it costs $350. It's only $300 right now.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
For a game I'll play once a year. But I'll play it right, you know? But man, does that look fun. I'm watching a guy whose name is Syrup play Farm Simulator 25. You watch the eSports stuff? I think I've talked about that way long time ago on the show. But do you watch the Farm Sim Esports? Because it's a whole league. There's a league? It's a whole thing.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
It's a specific, there's a specific field set up. And it's, the point is you harvest a field, you bail it, and then you put it into your barn as efficiently as possible. But the, you, it's, there's a drafting system for the vehicles. So before the round starts, there's like a lineup of all the vehicle options. There's only one of each one. And teams take turn drafting each vehicle strategically.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Because they have different strengths. And then there's some kind of system where it's like there's bridges where you have to go over the bridge to get from your field to your barn to store your bales. But you can make your opponent's bridge raise, which means they have to like take the long way around. Farm Sim Esports. Hot stuff.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
The one I'm watching, this dude's doing like a rags to riches thing where he started with 100,000 and he can only use his own equipment. No land, nothing at the start. He'll kind of do like little musical speed ups for some of like the weeding and harvesting. And dude, I'm interested. He's playing. He's like talking about his strategy, what he's going to be buying, how he's spending his money.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
No, thankfully. We were trying to teach her to play with the dog. And we're like, you take the dog toy, you toss it, you say, go get it. And with Lexi or when there's other dogs in the house, he just with whatever he finds, he's just like. Go get it. And the dogs are like, what the shit, man? We were outside and the only thing close to him was a pile of dog poop.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And then like he'll do the like time lapse of like doing the fields. I go to sleep like a baby. It's like I'm riding that tractor. It's been the cure for my lack of sleep. And then I wake up all sad because like the last few minutes of the video where he's like doing more stuff. I got to rewatch that tomorrow because I slept through it. That is good stuff, but that's not failing.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You're just winning too hard. What can I say, man? All I do is win, win, win, no matter what.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
All right. Well, speaking of winning, we are coming to the close of this episode, and I don't know if we've really done a full recap of what this year has been, but I will say it's been fun. For all the ups and downs and all that we've done and all the random obsessions we've had, I think this podcast is better than ever, and I'm very proud of it. I am surprised this podcast is still fun.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Not in like a pessimistic way of like, oh, I knew it would suck eventually. But like we have been doing it for a long time and we've been doing two episodes a week now for quite a long time. Almost like a year and a half, almost two years. I thought it would get harder. And it is a lot of time. We have to record quite a bit to get two out a week. It's still fun. We still have fun doing it.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I am surprised about that. It's a good thing, but it's surprising. Yeah, who knows what next year is going to have. I hope, just to touch on resolutions, I do want to get back into Korean learning. If Iron Lung isn't out next year, I'm going to take the entire movie, put it on a hard drive, and I'm going to launch it from a catapult or trebuchet, and I'm going to shoot it with a cannon.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And I'll do that repeatedly until I hit it midair. That'd be fun. That'd be fun. then no one will ever get to experience what it is. Just be one private little thing just for you and anyone who worked on it with you. But I will close it by saying there's some very optimistic things about it actually coming out, so I'm very happy, and I think it's going to be really cool.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Anyway, any final thoughts, you guys, before I read the score? I think this was also the year that Shakira was on Jimmy Fallon and had a lie detector test taken, which proved her hips don't lie. That's good. I'll give Shakira a point. Another win. This is about wins, right? You know what? For you, it is. But that didn't earn you a lot of points. So I go first. I got a cowbell point, but that's it.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Shakira got a truth point. Wade, you got points for a cookie refund. Oh, you had to give the cookie back to James. I denied. I did not give him what he wanted. Um, you got a California point. Bob, before you protest, you also got a California point, so you both got it at the same time. Why turn water off for the water failure?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And then I gave you another point for Bellatro, but I did realize that Bob has been playing Bellatro more, so he got a high score point, and I scratched yours out for Bellatro. And I guess I just revealed...
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Go ahead. No, no. Yeah, sorry about that. Hey, the listeners still have no idea. They have no idea. And then you got a he's here point, right? And that sounds ominous, but that's because you're already there. You made it this year. You did what you set out to do. You're still doing it because you set out to do it so long ago and you accomplished all your goals and dreams. You're just coasting now.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
So I'm glad he didn't pick anything up to throw it because it would have been bad for all of us. Oh, he would. Well, I'm glad he didn't steal the cookies back from you. They're very good. They are very good. Mandy made those. They're delicious. Yeah, so far I think I've already had two chocolate chips and two of the pretzels.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You're living the life. You're already here. So you get that point. Bob, you got a silent baby point. You got a California point. You got a high score for Bellatro as the resident Among Us 3 Bellatro champion. We will reevaluate that with the new year. You didn't work out quite enough. You're a car poser.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
But also I gave you a woodworking point because I have a feeling you're going to fail at that next round.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
No, I didn't mean that, man. Oh, okay. Well, I'm excited to get into that, I guess, and see where that leads. We have no faith in Bob point. No, man. No, it's not like that, man. Why even try, Bob? You've already lost the point. Well, you put it like that. No, actually, you gain the point if you fail, but I'll retroactively take it away next year if you actually succeed, so...
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Well, I could just say that I failed. I'll just make some bad wood stuff and you'll see. May I throw something in here? I don't care if there's points or not. I just got a message, like a ping from my D&D group. And I was like, I wonder what it is. I don't know what's going on, but there's a conversation. The last sentence is just, man, porn in the 90s was rough.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And I just thought I would share that tidbit of information with you all. I thought you were going to say they kicked you out because that would be quite the failure. But no, I mean, that sounds accurate. I got to be honest, not well versed in 90s porn. All right. Well, I'm sorry to all the fans of 90s porn out there. We're shitting on your dreams and your hopes.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
This was the year we called Bird the Porn Guy, which is a nickname that he still can't get away from. Oh, well, that's lovely. That's fun. We have fun. We do, at everyone else's expense. We sure do. And at everyone else's expense, Bob has won the episode with six points! Yes! That's all it took? I had at least that many. You had this many. You had four.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You would have had five with the Bellator point, but even then you wouldn't have had enough. So with a commanding two-point lead, Bob, you take this with a sweep. All right, don't celebrate too hard, guys. All right, Jesus Christ. Why would I celebrate? I lost. I was celebrating internally. Wade, please fill the empty space with your regrets about not winning this episode.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And we've had the cookies for all of actually like an hour and a half at this point. Yeah, it's only been a little bit. I'm missing out on all the Christmas stuff. Well, you live in the wrong state. You're allowed to live here. I don't know if they'll take me back, guys. I'm too Californiad up. Ohio doesn't like my type. Dude, I got a haircut this week and the lady was cutting my hair.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Really thought I crushed it. Really thought that my Ohio earthquake, downloading Bellatro, talking about more house, water, toilet issues. I thought there were so many regrets, my health insurance didn't even make the list of my regrets.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
That's crazy. But you know, it's all fair and fun here. The win was stolen, but that's 2024 in a nutshell. I'm winning everywhere except for Undistractable. That's my regret, being here and losing. I'm giving you the health insurance points, but it still doesn't change the outcome. But it's on the record. Boy, I wish I had kept the record of all.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
The napkin with the hot sauce on it is probably still at that Airbnb. They probably framed it. I hope so. Probably found it. They were cleaning up and they found that and they were like, oh, this would be a piece of history. Yes, one can only hope. Bob, you won. Congratulations. How do you feel? I feel like I deserved it.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I won because it's been such a hard year filled with so many failures that Mark basically threw me a bone because he felt like if I had one more tragic failure in my life, I might just quit the show entirely and go hide in a cave somewhere. So. I appreciate that. You were pretty spot on with your assessment there, buddy. I really needed this one. Can't wait for the new year, you know?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
He's won so many times in a row now. According to the thing I lost one episode ago, I lost, but I don't remember what I said. So probably I didn't make a loser speech. And that goes for the entire rest of the year, as far as I know. OK, retroactively, everyone, please sign that to be your memory and truth.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
man have i only hosted three times since early november i've had a rough end of the year boys one two three since november 15th you hosted two in the first half of november though you can look forward to hosting the first episode of the new year and kicking us off great and and strong with whatever the hell we're going to be doing next year who you i didn't win bob right sorry no that's
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Come on, man. Bob, you're going to kick off the new year. No, you still have a chance. You still have a chance. The next episode is still on like New Year's Eve or something. If you win the next one, Wade, you technically. Oh, he left. Oh, no, he didn't. I thought this was a New Year's episode. That's why I made it all about the New Year's. It is, but also it is. All right.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
We'll leave that enigma up to you guys listening and watching at home. Thank you everybody so much for being here for another year. We got another year distractible coming at you before our tumultuous explosive ending with which we will all walk away and never see each other again.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And then we will be replaced by three other younger versions of ourselves who will take on the podcast from here on out. Just like every previous year. Thank you. Go check out Wade and Bob, LordMinion777, and MySkirm. Thank you. Podcasts out.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Was very chatty. Of course, politics, because I was getting a haircut, so she was talking politics, and I was just kind of like, mm, mm, just cut my hair, mm. And at some point, she was asking me a question. I was like, yeah, well, we lived in California for a while, but we just moved back, and she was kind of like, oh. You're a California person.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Didn't mention anything else about politics, that's for sure. And was not so, I mean, she wasn't mean, but she was not so chatty and nice the rest of the time because she knew the truth about me. So you might be right. You might find it difficult to be here. Such a famous Californian.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
It is funny when I get questions from family about how the wasteland of California is and how I'm faring in the nightmare escape of the beautiful weather at the moment. It's a family member who's like, yeah, how do you deal with $9 gas? And I'm like, well, you know, I drive an electric car, number one. And number two, that was a transient price increase.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
when you fill up the old gas tank mark anytime there's a fire i get i get so many texts being like are you okay and i'm like texas or texas california is a very big state usually the fires aren't in high big population centers i'm usually okay so uh but i would like to come back someday you should did you know ohio is more like california now than ever before i where is this going
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Hi, welcome back to Distractible, the show where we do a professional quality opening every single time because Baltimore is here. And thank goodness he is, because otherwise we would not be able to have any kind of cohesion or professionalism. But speaking of cohesion and professionalism, I'm here hosting me, Markiplier, that guy from the famous podcast Power Wash Pals. Hey.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Three days ago, there was a magnitude 3.3 earthquake right on the little southern tip of Ohio. Ooh, Ohio doesn't get those. And everybody just filled in their basements and started driving Teslas really fast on the highways. And now we no longer say y'all, we say dude. I've met one person that actually talks like that, and it's Evan. No, no, no.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You mean Evan from the northeastern part of America? Yeah, exactly. From, I believe, Maine. You mean Evan, bruh! No, everyone in Ohio after the earthquake, when you walk into stores and they were just like, what are you even doing here? Get back on Mulholland and head south till it jumps you, whatever. Are you from Louisville? That's very good, guys. I don't think I'm coming back anymore.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Dude, you should. It's fun. We have fun here, you know? Maybe I will, depending on how everything in my life turns out. Bad if you don't come back. That's a little thick. That's a little heavy, Wade. Calm down. I'm not wishing it on you. I just know that here is where the good is. Before we transition, I wanted to mention, we talked about Baldemort at the beginning.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I played the Space Marines 2 game not too long ago, which was really fun. It's a great game. And I was talking about some of the lore, and someone's like, oh, doesn't Baldemort do a whole bunch of Warhammer 40k lore? I was like, yeah, yeah, he does. And someone's like, what is Voldemort's Twitch channel? I was like, hmm, not sure that's what you're looking for. Everybody calls him Voldemort.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I don't know if it's an autocorrect thing or what. Anytime, even people who know it, they mention him on Reddit or whatever, they're always like... Oh, God, I love Voldemort's openings. He's so funny and witty and British. There's that reminds me of something. My family was in town and I took them to Universal Studios Hollywood.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I've never actually been in the park myself, but we went and we're going around there. The strange thing about that place is Universal owns rights to like How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Right. And one of my favorite movies of all time is Jim Carrey. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. On the sign, they had a big Grinch area, but it said, Happy Hoobilation. Yeah, Hoobilation. No! It's Hoobilation!
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
What? It's the Hoobilation, isn't it? I thought it was like Jubilation, but it's Hoobilation. I thought it was Whoville Celebration. Is it not the Whovillation? I looked at that and I hear the entire movie in my head all the time. And I'm pretty sure I remember the line, Whovillation, Whovillation. The correct term is Whovillation with a B, not Whovillation.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
According to who this festive celebration is associated with the fictional town of Whoville from Dr. Seuss is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is that the Google AI giving you that answer? This is from spirit Halloween.com. Okay. Don't you dare question spirit Halloween.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
who's jubilating they're jubilus it's the whoville jubilation maybe the town doesn't jubile the the who's jubile i gotta i gotta what i've watched the good show of christmas like three times already i gotta watch it again with captions because i want to do a video where i actually recite the entire movie all in one go no cuts like on a live stream or something so i need to study up because
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
I got a lot of it in my head, but I need to get it all in order for practicing because I want to do all the voices and everything. In my entire life of watching this movie, I swear every character in the Jim Carrey one says Whovillation. Whovillation. Maybe not. It's been so long since I've seen it, I could not tell you. And V's and B's are pretty close.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Didn't you also say before this recording to remind you to talk about something? Cowbell. That was it. So I still much to my chagrin and I've talked about it endlessly drive my Tesla that I've had for eight years, the giant piece of shit. And that's not just me like hating for hating. No, it's been bad. It's been really bad. I drove it off the lot as a piece of shit.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And I'm not known for Distractible. Don't leave Tyler out. Who? I'm the fourth most popular co-host of Go, my favorite sports team. You know. I'm judging this podcast, which is distractible if you forgot, where I will set up a. Oh, man, I got to write stuff down, don't I? Oh, one of these laws. Where's your remarkable tablet? It's in the other room and I'm too lazy to get up and go get it.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
It's been a piece of shit through every year of its warranty in which it's been in service every single year for many times the same problem. And they've done full replacements on the suspension three times. And now it is officially out of warranty. So if it happens again, I'm screwed. Anyway, in Tesla, there's a cowbell mode that... Is activated by pressing the cruise control four times.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
And the thing is, if I press it twice and it doesn't activate, I'm going to press it because to activate it, you press it twice, right? I go to click, click, and it doesn't go. So I go click, click again. And then I activated cowbell mode. So for the rest of the fucking drive to Tyler's house. Wait. So, is it actually the song?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Is there something weird about pressing cruise control multiple times and don't fear the reaper coming on?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
It was a whole, I couldn't figure out how to turn it off because pressing it four times again only restarts the song. Ha ha!
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
So for 20 minutes, it's a long song, but even when the song ends, it just loops. It loops after the first few lines. And then Christopher Walken comes out and says, I gotta have more cowbell. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell. And then it goes again. The whole fucking drive.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Teslas have the vibe of like websites in the early 2000s where it's like, I'm going to this website because I need to order whatever printer ink. And it's just like a printer ink website. And you load it up and just like all the small things starts playing. And a bunch of clip art is like dancing around the screen. And then in the middle, it's like, yeah, click here to buy a printer ink.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
We'll ship it to you. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. And you know how I turned it off? Because I actually had to, when I got there, I googled it. How the fuck do I turn it off? It's a bunch of people looking like, I don't know what the fuck happened. You'd like say something or something? No.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
The easiest way, besides shutting the car completely down and then turning it back on, is to activate fart mode and press the fart button. Cool. And that will interrupt the cowbell and it will stop playing. Dude, the fart mode is funny, though, because it'll make different seats in the car fart. That's funny. I don't think any other car in the world has that kind of fart mode. What? What?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Oh, have you never seen fart mode, Wade? No, I don't. I've seen a car with heated seats once. Oh, it has that too. That's not part of the fart mode though. So in yours, is it the right stock that is the cruise control one or is it the left stock? It's left, left lower one. Yeah. Because we have a Model Y, and it's the right stock, which the passenger in the car could absolutely reach.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
So anytime they wanted to, a passenger could just reach over and just go, ding, ding, ding, ding, cowbell. And then cowbell mode would probably start, I think. Man, that's fun. At least it was only 20 minutes, but I feel like if I was on a longer drive, I would have pulled over. So maybe it's the worst case to be in, but...
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
Imagine the worst times, like you're rushing to the hospital and you actually do it. I bet you can activate fart mode with voice commands, though. So if it ever happens again, you just hold the voice command button. It's like, ah, fart mode. And everyone in the car could just be like, what the fuck? What clown car are we in? What the hell?
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
In a funeral procession, you got people in the car mourning and you actually activate cow bones. I'm so sorry. Activate fart mode. Don't tempt Elon. He would put in a voice-activated fart mode. What funny horn noise do you use, Mark? That's the real question. Can you customize the horn? You can change the horn and the lock sound, the walk-away lock sound kind of thing, to any sound you want.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
You can literally put mp3s in. Wow, that's great, man. I can't wait for that. So I assume you use a funny novelty sound for those things. Wait, this is what you're missing for not having a car, just to let you know. Well, at least I know why I can't get one. They're so busy programming useless shit into it that it takes a little extra time on the production line. Don't talk shit about fart mode.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
So it's the end of an era. 2024 is coming to an end. It was a year. That's about the most I can give 2024. It was a whole year. It was a pretty up and down year. But before we get into the broader strokes of the year as a whole, how is your day or recent week or recent life as a you guys? Really funny today. James met Santa today. He did this last year, but he did not remember.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
We have sustained this podcast through thick and thin. If you count three peens in a pod, we've been doing this podcast for, I believe, six years. Is that right? It's talked about establishing it in 2018. So I think at the earliest of in 2019. OK, so five years we have been doing this podcast on and off. We don't know when the first date is. Someone out there probably does, but we do not.
Distractible
New Year, Old Us
But either way, five years of distractible slash three peens in a pot is a long time for anybody to be doing the sustained regular podcast, which oddly enough, we actually have. But this year was especially fun because we had some real bangers of episodes this year. And I do think that a lot of people would agree.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ein Horrorfilm. Ich weiß nicht, ob das wahr ist oder nicht. War das wahr? Ich denke, es war wahr. Ich habe es nie gesehen. Oder etwas anderes darüber. Ich habe es gehört. Winnie the Pooh ist eigentlich was. Blut und Honey.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Hey, warte, was? Warte, warte, warte, was? Das war nicht verwirrend. Er hat das schon gesagt. Ja, ich verstehe deine Verwirrung hier nicht. Ich weiß nicht. Nur eine Sache aus einer Sache. Ich weiß nicht, was ich nicht gehört habe, aber...
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ja, Winnie the Pooh. Eine dritte Winnie the Pooh Horror-Movie kommt. Es gab ein Winnie the Pooh Horror-Spiel. Ich glaube, ich habe es gespielt. Vielleicht war es Roblox oder so. Ich kann es nicht erinnern, aber ich denke, ich habe etwas daran gemacht. Nehmt einen Moment, findet ein paar Charaktere, findet, was auch immer ihr denkt. Es muss im öffentlichen Bereich bei 2040 sein.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Aber ihr könnt keine originellen Ideen haben. Ihr steckt alles zusammen. I already know who the main character should be. Even before knowing your plot? I have a submission for the main character, yes. I figured it would be too convoluted otherwise. Mark, do you want to talk about this and see if we come together on this? Oh, oh yeah, we're working together, I forgot about that.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Um, yeah, I suppose we should. Oh wait, no, I'm an idiot. Oh wait, no, I'm not an idiot. I'm smart. Alright. Uh, Dippy Dog, the original character that was, that is now goofy, enters the public domain in 2028. I saw Dippy Dog when looking, yep. Dippy Dog. Ich denke, Dippy Dog ist ein guter Kandidat für den Hauptcharakter.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Let's make some notes here about this complaining and fighting. Nein, ich glaube, er ist tatsächlich richtig darüber. Ich weiß, dass er normalerweise falsch ist. Ich glaube, er versucht nur, Punkte zu verlieren. Mark, I see that side. I see your cheek where that baby punched you. That's not true. I'll send that baby back in. That's impossible. Might be. Small talk. That's where we usually start.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Pluto kommt im öffentlichen Domain im Jahr 2026. Eigentlich namens Rover, wahrscheinlich. Also könnte es die Rover-Variante sein. Oh, also hat Rover... Das ist der Charakter, der jetzt Pluto ist. Wann kommt Goofy mit dem Namen Goofy? Ist es nur Dippy Dog, der gerade raus ist? Oh, das ist eine gute Frage. Ich glaube nicht, dass ihr Goofy oder Pluto benutzen könnt.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Es müsste Dippy Dog und Rover sein, wahrscheinlich. Goofy's Copyright expires 2028, says Google.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Oh, okay. Donald Duck as well. I like it. Did we just get genre, too?
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Liar's Bar? Yeah, Liar's Bar. Yeah. Which movie that entered public domain has that plot so you can use it? Oh, fuck. The Twelve Angry Men. Is that in public domain? No. Isn't the Hound of the Baskervilles pretty similar to Liar's Bar? Baskervilles? What is the Hound of the Baskervilles? I'm fairly certain that it's not. Yeah, apparently Goofy's name or persona was established in 1934.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
So I presume that means that Goofy, that Mark is right about those. Hound of the Baskervilles. Oh, it's Stephen Hawking.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Baskervilles, Sherlock Holmes. Do you want to read your synopsis? I only have a short summary of it, but basically a guy seeks out Holmes and Watson because his friend was found dead outside of his mansion with no marks of violence, but giant paw prints nearby. Mortimer fears the legend may be real that the heir, Sir Henry Baskerville, might be next.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Oder den Hound. Den Hound von den Baskervilles. Ja, der eine, den ich habe, sagt, dass Holmes von einer Legende enttäuscht ist, dass jede Generation der Baskerville-Familie letztendlich von diesem monströsen Hound getötet wird.
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Anyway, the turn is, it's actually just a big wild dog that is covered in phosphorus to make it glow in the dark and is trained and used as a murder weapon by a guy named Jack Stapleton, who is secretly a Baskerville, trying to kill off all of the Baskervilles and inherit the family estate. No!
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
The movie I was gonna make and needed to research is spoiled to me! Well, now you can take part of that plot if you would like it. Can we mix other movies in, or does it have to be just one? Oh, yes, I encourage you to. Just don't remake the movie. Okay, good. Alright, good. I think it was lost that I said that that was the same plot as Liar's Bar. You can expand a little bit.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I'm sure Liar's Bar is basically in there, or vice versa. Liar's Bar isn't in the public domain. Unless games fall under a different category. Yeah, their public domain is one year. Look, Russian Roulette probably is in the public domain. I'm just gonna go out and say that.
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Hound of the Baskervilles in Disney's version of Oz. I don't know when Wizard of Oz hits the public domain or hit the public domain. The concept of Russian Roulette is a gamer metaphor. It's a 1900 novel. That would be, the novel would be, maybe not the movie. The film was 1939. The same as the film for Hound of the Baskervilles. By 2040, that will be public domain. This is fucking great.
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And the game Russian Roulette is a concept or whatever is considered to be in the public domain. Okay, we've got our plot coming together. So, the Cowardly Lion is goofy. Baskerville, Wizard of Oz and Russian Roulette, okay.
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Oh, warte, nein, Donald kann nicht der Schreckrohr sein. Donald ist klar die Wicked Witch of the West.
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Didn't we have another character lined up? Just to be clear, the Cowardly Lion is Dippy Dog. Oh no, we decided that was... I like Dippy Dog better, honestly. Cowardly Lion is Dippy Dog. Who's Sherlock in this? Is it the Wizard? And where are they playing Russian Roulette? Who's Steamboat Willie? Seymour Whaley ist der Tinn-Mann. Das ist der, den wir brauchen. Scarecrow und Dorothy.
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So what's new? Small talk. Intrusive thoughts. I'm having them. They're not super intrusive, but they're stupid. I like phone cases, right? I have a lot of phone cases in my life. Okay, yeah, we've heard that once. Und ich weiß nicht, warum das mir nicht passiert ist, aber am anderen Tag waren wir draußen und ich habe etwas auf meinem iPad gemacht und James kommt hoch und sagt, hey, was machst du?
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Ich weiß nicht, wer Scarecrow und Dorothy sind. Welche Frauen-Charakter sind im öffentlichen Bereich? Es gibt Comic-Book-Charakter. Ich denke, Wonder Woman könnte es sein, bis 1940. Ja, Wonder Woman wird im öffentlichen Bereich sein. Ich weiß nicht, ob das passt.
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World War One's gotta be in the public domain. Probably, yeah. So we can steal anything from World War One. You can have, you can do World War One. It's all coming together. Okay.
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Moriarty! Moriarty, das ist der Kerl. Das ist sein erster Name.
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I think the title should be simpler though. I think it should just be World War I. A Goofy War. No, shorter. It's just gotta be A Goofy War Movie. A Goofy War movie.
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Leaning Tower of Bleeda. And that song is in it. Eye to eye, yeah. Gun to gun. Is that in the public domain? No, definitely not. Okay, I've been trying to follow and keep up with the plot, but it's changed dramatically. So do we still have the characters from Wizard of Oz in this? Yeah, we gotta throw out a goofy war, because that's too close to a goofy movie.
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It's not in the... That's true, that's true. Okay, I've got Dippy Dog is the Cowardly Lion. Steamboat Willie is the Tin Man. Scarecrow? Donald Duck is the Wicked Witch. Dorothy? Archduke Franz Ferdinand is... Also Dippy Dog?
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Oh Gott. Was sind die Schuhe? Es ist eine rubelle rote Gasmaske.
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Okay, für Dorothy. Wir haben ein paar Optionen hier. Da ist Betty Boop, Wonder Woman, Snow White, ich glaube, Mina Harker von Dracula. Alice, vielleicht von Alice in Wonderland, könnte es sein. Ich habe eine. Das ist ein bisschen ein Zwist. Aber kommt mit mir, wenn ihr es sehen könnt. Dorothy wird von King Kong gespielt. Right? Really switching the roles, switching the roles.
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Und er will mit dem iPad spielen. Und so ist er irgendwie an es und was auch immer. Und ich war so, ich weiß, was ich tun werde. Ich werde einfach den Kasten aus dem iPad verlassen und ihm das anbringen. Und dann werde ich die iPad-Parte behalten, weil ich einen Kasten habe. Es poppt einfach sofort aus. Super einfach. Das hat gut funktioniert.
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Kong is currently in the public domain. King Kong will be in 1929. Think about it. And that means that the Scarecrow can be played by Mary Poppins. Ja? Ist das möglich? Warte, kam Mary Poppins nicht raus? War das nicht in den 50ern? Mary Poppins sollte in den Publikum im Jahr 2030 in den originalen Charakters einsteigen, so wie ich es online sehe.
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Ich weiß nicht, ob das wahrscheinlich der Novel ist, der nach dem Film, den wir alle kennen, oder was auch immer. Okay, also Scarecrow ist Mary Poppins. Dorothy ist King Kong. Oder die Dorothy ist Tom und Jerry in einem Trenchcoat. Tom und Jerry arbeiten zusammen. Ja. Na, sie würden nicht zusammenarbeiten. Das ist das Ding.
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Wir haben noch Sherlock Holmes, Moriarty und Archduke Ferdinand auf der Liste. Es wird so aussehen, als wäre es ein Ocean's Eleven-Thema, aber ich weiß nicht. Dorothy sollte Jerry sein und die fliegenden Mönche sollten alle nur Toms mit Hüften sein. Weil das die Dynamik ist. Dorothy sollte Jerry sein? Ah, Mann. Ocean's Eleven war wirklich ein 1960er-Movie über World War II.
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I think we need to simplify the plot or make it more complex. I think more complex is definitely the way to go. Was ist der Plot? Weil einfach, du weißt, das ist 2050, 2040, die Leute sind jetzt sicherer. Für sicher, fast garantiert. Oh ja, Bildung geht hoch. Ja, absolut.
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So far for plot I have Wizard of Oz, Hound of Baskervilles, Russian Roulette, World War I. I think what it's missing is a finance aspect. I think we should, the, the, like, climax, the turn into the third act should be the stock market crash of 1929. I guess the stock market crash would be public domain. And the stock market can be played by King Kong. Who is Dorothy.
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Rover? Rover, ding dong. Rover, yeah. Rover's Archduke Ferdinand. Who's Moriarty and Sherlock in this? Moriarty definitely needs to be Bugs Bunny. Yeah, oh, yes, great choice. And then Sherlock needs to be... Also Bugs Bunny. The Hunter, no, what's his name? Ich weiß nicht, ist er im öffentlichen Domain? Bugs Bunny soll den öffentlichen Domain im Jahr 2035 einsetzen. Der originelle Charakter.
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Oh, einfach. Okay. Yeah, so Elmer Fudd is Sherlock Holmes and his shotgun is called Watson and Bugs Bunny is Moriarty.
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Oh nein. So it's really stupid because there's not a lot of differentiation in the world of iPad cases. There's some, but it's not remotely like phone cases where there's all these different companies who are like, we have the best, whatever. I can't get over it. I can't let it go. I'm sitting here staring at all these iPad cases just being like, maybe that one, maybe that one's the one.
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Can you run that by me one more time? This movie is going to be like eight hours long. No, a tight 90-minute movie.
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This isn't a public domain, but this is also not copyright infringement, I don't think. The World War I part of the movie, because I assume there will be a war part, is like Dunkirk. It's a one-er. One camera follows the entire war chapter of this movie. It's just one big running shot of the war. You know what else is in the public domain? Charlie Chaplin.
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Etwas, etwas, Bierhalle-Push, etwas, etwas. Etwas, was? Bierhalle-Push? War es nicht wie ein verletzter Versuch, wie ein Krieg von ihm oder etwas? I don't know. I don't know my history. I super don't know my history. Don't confront me with this. But who needs to know history? History isn't about, this isn't about history.
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The Beer Hall Push, also known as the Munich Push, was a failed coup attempt by Adolf Hitler, the Nazi Party in Munich, November 8th to 9th, 1923, aimed at overthrowing the Weimar Republic. Weimar. Weimar. Well, thank goodness that didn't work. But hey, it would be in the Beer Hall Push public domain. Ich denke vielleicht nicht. Wir haben genug Kriegsgeschichte.
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Ich denke, das ist ein Halt auf einen Halt. Also, die große Depression im Jahr 1929 fällt auf den New York Stock Exchange und beginnt World War I im Jahr 1916, ist das Film? Warte, nein, die große Depression fällt nicht. King Kong fällt auf sie. Wie Dorothy. King Kong, der Dorothy ist, der in der Haus ist, der den Stockmarkt-Kreis ist.
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Oh, oh, oh, das ist nicht öffentlich. Oh nein, Twister von Wizard of Oz. Ich dachte, Twister ist kein öffentliches Domain.
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Ja, nein, das ist nicht, worüber wir reden. Ich habe es. Film-Fun-Fact. Wisst ihr, wie sie den Tornado in Wizard of Oz gemacht haben? Ich weiß. Warte, wisst ihr? Es ist wertvoll, wenn ihr es macht. Ich erinnere mich an das, und es war nicht so lange her, dass ich es gemacht habe. Es war etwas. Nein, erzähl es mir einfach, weil ich es nicht erinnere. Marc weiß es besser als ich.
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War es Asbestos oder Talcum-Powder? Es ist ein großer Linnentuch, den sie mit Stoff gefüllt haben. Und dann ist da jemand drüben und macht den Stoff raus, was den Tornado-Effekt erzeugt.
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Und es könnte auch Luft fliegen. Ich dachte an Stoff. Ich erinnere mich nicht an die Duster.
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Anyway, sorry. What was the twister? You were getting to something. The house is the stock market. It crashes on the stock market. The twister was the Great Depression. Oh, okay. So it's the Great Depression. It's symbolic. People like symbology. And Charlie Chaplin's there. Just doing house falls and pratfalls and stuff. Just doing physical comedy. Okay, let me read my cast of characters here.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I've got Cowardly Lion, played by Dippy Dog. Steamboat Willie is the Tin Man. Scarecrow's Mary Poppins. Donald Duck's the Wicked Witch. Dorothy is somehow both King Kong and simultaneously Jerry. The Flying Monkeys are Tom. Archduke Ferdinand is Pluto slash Rover. Moriarty bugs Bunny. Sherlock Elmer Fudd. Tornado, Great Depression. Charlie Chaplin. Watson is Elmer's Shotgun, just to be clear.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Der Plot ist, Dorothee Jerry King Kong fällt, landet in den New York Stock Exchange, der für irgendeinen Grund World War I beginnt. Es wird ein russisches Roulette gespielt und dann schwirrt die Große Depression um und öffnet sie. Ja, der Tornado ist die Große Depression. Es kriecht sie auf und fliegt King Kong-Bird-Dorothy in den Weltkrieg.
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Und das ist so, wie wir von einer dritten-Person-Kamera in eine zweite-Person-Kamera-Following-Kamera fliegen. Ja, ja, ja. Gibt es mehr zu dem Film oder ist das das ganze Film? Das ist nur der Anfang, wir haben den ganzen Film gespoilert. Was für ein Film ist das? Nur die Eröffnungssequenz. Ja, wir können dir nicht sagen, wie es geht, du musst es sehen. Okay, es ist ein One-er.
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Oh yeah, that's what I've been thinking about the whole time. I was ready for that. I wasn't just listening. The title emerges from the twister and it just says, we abandoned a goofy war movie. Is that not a goofy war? No, I love it. It's unreliable. Little Kong on the Exchange? The movie is called, wait, I've got it. Tom and Jerry, colon, The Murder of Arch-Goo Ferdinand and All That Follows.
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Yeah, Tastes have actually changed so much that human art is emulating AI art because consumers have been conditioned to believe that AI-generated stuff is like the main meat of the market. And if you want your movie to actually chart and perform at the box office, you basically are trying to make an AI movie just with a little bit of human perspective injected into it.
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But you don't want it to be too human. You want it to really be sloshed around like it's an AI mixing everything up in there together.
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Ja, vielleicht ist das der, für den wir die Rechte kaufen. Es fehlt nur noch eines aus unserem Film, bis jetzt.
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Musik. Welche Songs, die im öffentlichen Bereich sind, werden im Film veröffentlicht werden? Happy Birthday. Alright.
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I'll just buy a couple. Then I'll know the truth. Anyway, it's not a serious problem and I haven't bought any yet, but next time we get together, expect me to have just a bunch of iPad cases. So it will be a problem. I mean, it's almost guaranteed at this point. I don't like this about myself. I don't mind the phone cases thing, but the iPad cases, it's too far, okay?
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Und dann geht es in den Hauptfilm. Ja. Also hier ist eine gute Nachricht. Dein Film kommt raus und es ist ein Hit. Es hat es noch nicht gemacht. Ich wusste, es wird es sein. Sie lieben es. Sie lieben es. Sie lieben es. Wir sehen die Zukunft mit unserer Zeitmaschine in 2040. Aber sie wollen mehr. Sie wollen ein Sequel. And you can't reuse anything that you used in the original.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I don't even know what we used in the original. What kind of sequels? Unfortunately, this has been in my notes the whole time because I knew you guys would try to use as much as possible in the original. How many years ahead are we? Oh, 2045. Five years later.
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Eigentlich gab ich euch auch ein paar Lewigs, es sollte nur eine Sache pro Werk sein, also wenn ihr in Wizard of Oz gehen würdet, hättet ihr nur einen Charakter auswählen müssen. Ich gab euch ein paar, weil ihr nur alles aus jedem Werk verarbeitet habt. Also jetzt sind wir in einem Sequel angekommen, in dem man nichts aus dem Original benutzen kann.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
World War II ist im öffentlichen Bereich im Jahr 2045. World War II ist vorbei. Jeder Lieblingssequel der Great Depression in World War I. We got it. We got it, boys and girls. We got it. So, no Sherlock, no Wizard of Oz, probably, because we used a lot of Wizard of Oz. King Kong, gone. Charlie Chaplin, out. Bugs, Elmer, Tom and Jerry, Pluto, goofy.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Wizard of Oz, Hound of Baskervilles, Russian Roulette, World War I, Stock Market Crash, Great Depression, all out. Happy Birthday, can't use it. Damn. I think there's gonna be a lot of music in this one. Es ist okay. Nein, wir haben noch Optionen. Weißt du was? Das ist ein anderer Ton. Du hast keine Superhelden benutzt, die kommen. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman.
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Wir haben noch Betty Boop und Popeye. Lieblingsinteresse. Oh nein, das ist nicht. Was ist Popeyes Mädchen? Olive. Popeye und Olive. Wir können Popeye und Olive haben. Nicht in deinem Film unbedingt. Du kannst alles haben, was du willst. Ja, ich meine, Popeye und Betty Boop könnten Lieblingsinteressen sein. Das ist wahr. Welche Geschichten könnten wir benutzen? Das ist eine tolle Frage.
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Da ist wahrscheinlich viel da draußen. Okay, hier sind Filme aus den 1940ern. Casablanca. Citizen Kane. It's a Wonderful Life. The Bride of Frankenstein. Ja. The Sands of Iwo Jima. Klassiker. 1949, Sands of Iwo Jima.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Sherlock Jr. came out in 1924. We could use Sherlock Jr., it's a Buster Keaton movie. No Watson, Sherlock or Moriarty, but you can use Jr. Santa is in. We can also use Nosferatu, which is one of the first horror movies. What did happen to Nosferatu? Real estate. The Plague. Naked Girl on a Horse, at least in the more recent one. Ah, der Royalty Count, richtig? Das ist ein Titel.
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Das ist das Ding, das du von dem letzten Mal erinnerst hast? Ich erinnere mich nicht mehr darauf. Naked Girl on a Wharf. Es kam einfach aus dem Nichts, also war es wie, was? Oh, also Dracula. Bella Lugosi's Dracula came out in 1931. Oh, you guys didn't use Dracula before. So, we used Donald Duck. We did not use Daffy Duck.
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Not that that's going to stop me from doing it, because that's not how this works, but it's too far. You are a curious case. I like that joke. Wait, I liked it. You are a curious case. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I liked it. I was just in the middle of my talking. Anyway, that's what I got going on. Oh, actually, can I throw a question out there? Maybe the subreddit can help me with this.
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Still got Wonder Woman, Betty Boop and whoever else I said. No. Okay, you don't. Okay, we got The Picture of Dorian Gray, came out in 1945.
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We do have Miracle on 34th Street, which is in 1947, which means Santa Claus is there. So far I've got Baffy Duck is Dracula. Dracky Duck. Trackey Duck. I can't do a good Daffy Duck. I would try to do a Dracula Daffy Duck if I could, but I don't think I can do his like... No one needs that. You don't have to. No one's asking. Tweedie Bird's Owner, Granny, is an option, I think.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Is that Daffy's love interest? Is that Mina? Who's Mina? The original Dracula, isn't Mina the one he goes after? These aren't the kind of details I bother myself with. I think we should ground this in a much more human story. I think we need to incorporate into the story, it needs to be structured around, it's a wonderful life. Okay, okay. Plot, it's a wonderful life.
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Same genre as It's a Wonderful Life, which is a genre. Horror slash touching family film. It's a wonderful death. Oh, yeah. It's a wonderful birth. It's a Dracula bite. Dracula? Wait, what are we calling him? I hate it. I really, I hate it. I hate that. It's a wonderful bite. Look, I'm just trying to find anything that I know anything about here.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I don't know a single thing about any of these characters or stories that we're currently dealing with. It's a wonderful war. We forgot about World War II. Oh, that's right. It's a wonderful war. Dracula in the World War II movie, that's right. And to flip it on its head, in this one, the sequel, the one-er is actually the part that's not about the war. It's really boring.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
There's a lot of mundane, everyday stuff. The action, the interpersonal action happens and then it's just a camera in a room with people eating food and scratching their nose. It's very, very boring and off-out guard.
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What movie is that from? It's in the domains. I thought that was from Nosferatu. It's definitely a movie that that's from. We can't come up with any original ideas? I assume that was an homage to the original. That was in the original. Yeah, probably. I've not seen the original, but I'll choose to trust you. No, there was some lost footage from the original.
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The entire movie was compiled from different pieces from a few different theaters.
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Listen, I'm a boob guy. You talked me into it. Boobs on a horse?
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Hey, electricians or amateur electricians in the subreddit, I have an outlet in the garage. It stops working when it rains hard outside. I've checked the wall. No water gets into the wall. I've checked the outlet. It's a perfectly fine outdoor rated GFI outlet. It's even under a plastic cover. Nothing is, no water is physically dripping onto it or getting into it. It's on the What the fuck?
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Yeah, it's artistic. Everyone's expecting boobs. We hit them with no boobs. It is a sequel. I guess it does have to be worse than the original. Alright, fair enough. Hold on. There are some better sequels. Sind wir fertig? Ich kann nicht sagen, dass ich nicht enttäuscht bin. Bis jetzt ist dein Plot so, dass es ein wundervoller Biss ist, World War 2, Daffy Duck ist Dracula.
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Klingt das so, als ob du fertig bist? Ja, das ist es. Ja, ich bin mit dir. Das klingt wie ein Film. Gibt es andere Charaktere außer Dracula? Wir haben so viele gelistet. Ich werde sie nicht wieder gelisten. Did you? Yeah. Such as Daffy. Look, I'm not gonna get into it. Such as Daffy Duck as Dracula. That's true. I can't argue.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Cool, I play all your games, but sorry. Wir haben das ziemlich genutzt. Ich werde die Musik weitergeben. Das hier ist einfach. Es ist ein Sequel. Der Ton ist anders. Der gesamte Score für das ist frühere amerikanische Jazz- und Popmusik. Maple Leaf Rag, St. Louis Blues, Ain't We Got Fun, Klassiker. Ehrlich gesagt, machen wir das nur für den Geld. Wir müssen nicht zu hart arbeiten.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ich habe deine Musik verpasst. Hast du einen einzigen Song genannt? He was just blasting it out there. I named three songs. I was opening it. Name them again, please. Maple Leaf Rag, St. Louis Blues, and Ain't We Got Fun. Alright. We have three songs, one character, and title. That's a movie. Und ich habe generell gesagt, der frühere amerikanische Jazz und Popmusik. Es gibt viel.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Alles, was die jahrelange Jazz-Szene vor 1929 betrifft, ist reif mit Liedern, die allgemein dieselben Töne klingen. Ich werde nicht lügen. Der Sequel war viel weniger gut erhältlich als der originale. Besonders, als du angefangen hast, mit dem Bein zu bewegen. Gut. We must be done then. But everyone went to see it because it was a sequel to such a great movie.
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So you guys made a lot of money on it. Oh, cool. All right. There is not demand for a trilogy.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Actually, that's the best of all worlds. Also, ähm, ich glaube, ich muss etwas zu einem Rad hinzufügen und ein paar Punkte und so hier machen. Danke Gott. Ähm, ich habe einen neuen Mechaniker mitgebracht, den wir noch nie gemacht haben, weil es hier nur Punkte gab, wo ich nicht weiß, was da los war. Ich habe versucht, mich zu halten. Ich habe Noten geschrieben.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ich habe eine ganze Sache von Noten, eine ganze Sache von Noten. Aber es gab Punkte, bei denen eure Beiträge so müde waren. Ich wusste nicht, was zu tun. Ich habe also einige Fragezeichen geschrieben. Und ich habe entschieden, dass jeder Fragezeichen einen D6-Roll darstellt, bei dem man drei Punkte erzielt oder drei Punkte verliert.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ein 1 ist ein minus 3, ein 2 ist ein minus 2, ein 3 ist ein minus 1, ein 4 ist ein plus 1. Es gibt kein 0. Es ist nur ein minus 3 bis zum plus 3. I like that. I don't know about this. Each one of you got six question marks. So I've got the dice roller here that's going to show the history. So, all right, we're going to roll a D6. Mark, your name's up first. So let's go ahead and just roll it.
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What was my question for? What were you confused about? Oh, you each have six question marks because you both confused me. So at least it's even unevenness. The higher the number, the better for you. Wie immer die Regel. Okay, Mark. Wir haben ein 2, das sind minus 2 Punkte. Mark. Minus 2. Plus 2 für die 5. Minus 2 für die 2. Minus 2 für die 2. Plus 1 plus 1. Plus 4 minus 6.
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Alright, Bob, you also have six question marks. Six, six, six, five, six. That's smart, you should probably give it some vibes. Come on, do it, do it for me. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That was pretty good, Bob. Hey, that's not bad. Bob, we have minus one, plus one, plus two, plus three. He got to inject the universe with luck. That's how it works for me.
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Bob, das ist minus drei plus acht. Du hast ein plus fünf. All right. Mark, du hast zwei verloren. Bob, du hast fünf gewonnen. Ja. Okay, jetzt best two out of three.
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Du fragst dich um eine Chance, es zu erklären. Du bist verwirrend. Ja, ich will es erklären. Nur weil meine Ideen so cerebral sind.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Also ich... So here's what happened. You guys both talked back and forth. We went through a lot of reiterations of plot. I couldn't type or write fast enough to keep up with it. And so what I decided was fair was to mark that some amount of points were gained or lost depending on contributions. And I left that as my right as host up to a little bit of chance.
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I feel like that's not your right as host. I think part of the core of the constitution that we created was that we didn't want episodes to be decided by chance. Well, they're not entirely decided by chance. Chance was just a part of it. I would argue that wheels are also chance, and we allow wheels. Coin flips are chance, and we allow coin flips. Yeah, that's like a special carve-out.
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Yeah, but they're only earned, you know, it's earned based on what they... I mean, look, you are the host, and I am not invoking any rights. I'm just throwing that idea out there. I'm not invoking anything. Well, there aren't any rights to invoke other than one that I believe still exists. Yeah, well, I'm not invoking that one. I'm just throwing out some thoughts that I had.
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Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Alright, one of you might invoke it soon. Let's see. Mark, you got points for DaVinci... Resolve? Resolve. Ich dachte, du hast gesagt Residue. Resolve ist wahrscheinlich das, was ich geschrieben habe. Nachdem ich das letzte Update gesehen habe, habe ich ein bisschen DaVinci Residue verlassen, wenn du weißt, was ich meine. Du hast meine Lachen zweimal genutzt, also hast du zwei Punkte dafür.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Nicht gesponsert. Stephen Hawking ist Sherlock Holmes. Archduke Ferdinand. Und da waren die Fragezeichen, die wir entschlossen haben. Russische Roulette. Happy Birthday. Und dann Charaktere. Einige der Charaktere. Ich weiß nicht. Es gibt ein paar Punkte für Charaktere da drin. Dann gibt es die drei anderen Fragezeichen. Bob, du hast Punkte für iPod Case Collector.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ist es möglich, dass du einfach falsch bist? Was meinst du, dass das Wasser rein kommt oder so etwas? Oder dass es auch andere Zeiten auslöst und es gibt einen Grund, der nicht mit dem Wasser verbunden ist? No, because my car is plugged into it. I have a plug-in hybrid. And the car tells me on my phone when it'll be like, oh, I'm unplugged. What happened?
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I interrupted you, which was rude of me. Drowned Outlet. You're in Mark's walls. With your radio. A Goofy War. Mask. Movie? Mark? King Kong is Dorothy. It's a Dracula Bite. Scarecrow Peepees? That can't be what that says. Scarecrow Pops? That's probably what I said. Mary Poppins. Scarecrow Poppins is probably what that says. Three points for various musical contributions.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Which I wrote down on here. Maple Leaf Rag, St. Louis Blues, Ain't We Got Fun. Ain't We Got Fun. And then you got the five points for the question marks, because you also had six question marks on here. Bob, you got five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, plus five, sixteen points. Mark, you got five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eight points.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Es sieht so aus, als ob die Dice dir nicht viele Fähigkeiten gemacht haben. Aber wir haben noch nicht unsere Wheel Spins gemacht. Du hast recht. Du hast recht. Vielleicht kannst du 8 Punkte auf Wheel Spins machen. Hier ist das, warum ich nicht die Dice werfe. Das ist, weil ich Dice als unabhängig bekomme. Danke. Und es gibt keinen Weg, dass ich universell Glück in sie injectieren könnte.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Okay, so I just read you the score was 16 to 8. Invoking unfair, you're saying that's not the score. So if you were right, I want, I just want a chance. You would double your score to tie it?
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Make me have a chance! Okay, alles klar. Was ist also das Ergebnis von diesen Zahlen? Doppelt. Alle Punkte werden von Fragezeichen zusammengenommen. Oh, nur Fragezeichen-Punkte? Nur Fragezeichen-Punkte. Also es sind entweder keine Fragezeichen oder doppelt Fragezeichen, richtig? Nein, ich mag das.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
What if all the points are converted to question marks, but all new question marks have to be rolled? So then it basically kind of resets the points. It will be even more fair. Doubly fair. If question marks are the fair way, then so shall it be. But if they're unfair, get them out of here! Wenn Mark gewinnt, wäre der Score 11 Punkte Bob, 10 Punkte Mark, bevor wir in die Räder gehen. Okay, okay.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ich würde es nehmen. Wenn es alle Fragezeichen sind, dann ist der Score 5 bis negative 2, mit einer ganzen Menge 6s, um zu rollen. Okay, ich bin okay mit diesem. Komm schon. Heads ist Mark. Tails. Alle Heads sind... Geht weg von Fragezeichen. Alle Tails sind alle Fragezeichen. Ich liebe das. Das ist mein Lieblingsspiel, das wir so weit gemacht haben.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Oh mein Gott, Tails, Tails. Okay, so we're into all question marks. Well, right now it's not looking good for you. So I have to roll 10 D6s for Mark and 11 D6s for Bob and then do all the math. Ich mag meine Chancen. Zuerst mit einem 3-Punkt-Lead. Du hast einen 7-Punkt-Lead, Bob. Es sind alles Fragezeichen. Das ist okay. Bereite dich bereit für die meisten 6s, die du je gesehen hast.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Und ich hoffe nur, dass es mein Tag wird. Okay, also wer ist das für? Mark, du hast den Challenge gewonnen. Nein, du hast den Challenge verloren. Technisch. Technisch. Also, Bob, du entscheidest, wer zuerst geht. Ich will zuerst gehen. Okay, Bob ist zuerst. Bob, ich muss 11 D6s für dich rollen. Yes. Good. Okay. One. Two. Yes. Three. Four. Five. Yes. Six. Yes. Seven. Yes. Eight. Oh. Nine. Yes. Ten.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Yes. Eleven. Yes. No, wait, no. I don't know what the hell that came out to. I got a final tally of three. Plus three to my score, but we'll see if everyone agrees. I got plus three as the end, that's what you said? Yeah, that's what I got. You have a plus three and you already had a five, so right now you're at eight. Yes, eight to negative two. That's in the range. That is possible.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Mark, you started at negative two, you've got ten rolls. Watch. You better roll some fucking winners. Alright, ten times. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Das ist so nah. Warte. Okay, also Mark, wir haben plus 1, minus 1, plus 1, plus 1, plus 3, plus 2, plus 1, plus 3.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
And so I know, because it happened in the middle of the night. It's been stormy the past week. And so overnight, one night, the car at three in the morning was just like, I'm not charging. Und ich war so, ich bin schlau, Alter, ich interessiere mich nicht. Aber ich weiß genau, wann es passiert und wann es nicht passiert, weil das ist, was mit dem Outlet verbunden ist.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Also 11 für Mark ist größer als 8 für Bob. Nein. What a weird switch. So right now, going into the wheel spins, it is 11 to 8. Oh man, what do I want to add to the wheel for this? Oh, that's right, you gotta add your thingy. What about biggest comeback? Because we kind of have, the host kind of has a sense of like, oh, your weight hasn't got any points yet so far.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
So he's, you know, like he's down by a lot. Bob was winning pretty convincingly till the three tails happened. That would be the most, that would apply to this. Ich sehe keine, die auf der Liste ausgeschlossen werden müssen. Ich denke, was wir gemacht haben, war ein Halbpunkt für dich, ein Halbpunkt für mich, war das, was Marc angetan hat.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ja, ich denke, es war... Also war es ein bisschen fair für uns beide. Und ich denke, ich habe kein Halbpunkt da, aber das ist okay. Best Comeback ist definitiv eine Option. Wir machen Best Comeback. Man, das ist gut. Best Comeback kann für Best Comeback zu jemandem passen oder Best Comeback points-weise. Wir können es interpretieren.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Deshalb kann es Sinn machen, auch wenn es kein verrückter Comeback ist. Es könnte ein Best Comeback sein. Alright. Bob will have to roll all of our things. I've got this. The only thing that could save you, Bob, is a 3. Yeah, I need a 3, which seems unlikely to get another 3. I'd give it a 33% chance. It's unlikely. Alright, here we go. How many bonus points will there... Yes! No! Oh no!
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I thought it was going, I thought it was going. Almost. One spin. I think I'm in trouble, boys. Give me the best comeback. Ein Spinn des Megabonus-Wheels für Mark. Er hat die meisten Punkte verloren. Warte, wer wäre das? Das wäre ich. Ja, weil Marks Spinn die meisten Punkte verloren hat. Ich hatte 16 und jetzt habe ich 8. Und du hattest 8 und jetzt hast du 11. Oder was auch immer. 10.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Das ist wahr. Das ist wahr. Lass uns mal schauen, wer am meisten verloren hat. Mark hat 2, 4, 6, 7, 8 verloren. Mark hat 8 verloren. Bob, du hast 1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 12 verloren. Du hast 14 Punkte durch Rollen verloren. Yeah! Yeah, that's earned. Consolation bonus. That one's worth five points.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Well, with a final score of 11 to 9, Mark, you have won and you have earned the right to the winner's speech. I will say this.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ja, es ist immer, wenn es sehr hart stormt, nach dem ersten Tag des Storms, am nächsten Tag, manchmal, oder über Nacht, es wird einfach starten, die GFI wird einfach poppen, keine mehr Elektrizität. Und jetzt funktioniert es wieder. Es war schon, es war nur, ich verstehe nicht. Ansonsten, wenn jemand etwas weiß, bitte helfen. Bitte, fucking helfen, bitte. Ich bezahle dich. Hilfe. Das ist alles.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
It's wild that in ten dice rolls you only lost points twice and both were only minus ones. Well, I mean, the first set of dice rolls really didn't go in my favor, so I think it's alright. That's true. Congrats, Bob. The surprise losing speech after a dominant performance. I don't know if anything more defeating than this has occurred to this point in my life. I contributed a lot.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I clearly kicked Mark's ass in the actual material parts of this episode. I believe the original final score was 16-8, which would have been the second time in recent memory I beat my opponent by double their score. The other one was Wade previously. Okay, we'll have to bring up the past. I am the best competitor on this show. I am the funniest. I am the smartest.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
My only weakness is I can't for some fucking reason get the dice or the coins to fall my way. I don't understand. It's fine. I'm not mad about it. It's just, it's just defeating, you know? After being the best at everything for so much of my life, to have this bring me down so consistently, this crossroads, I'm losing the ego that everyone knows and loves me for.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
It's just not gonna last forever at this rate, okay? So, if you want this to stay around... Maybe let me win sometimes. How about that? Hopefully that continues to be a thing, but if you'll be leaving us, then I guess I'll have to bring on Mr. Bob. The show will end very shortly thereafter, Bob. We kind of need you here. Editors, put my head on Wade's arm.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I don't know why I'm bobbing my head for you to talk. Then put Wade's head on his head. Das ist toll, das ist toll.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ich habe mich entschieden, das mit meinem kleinen Gespräch heute zu tun. Hilfe.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
What are you writing, Wade? I was gonna give you a point for news topic. Oh, okay. Alright. Wait, talk about server farms. Wait, tell us about lenses.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Du machst mir das, um meinen Mund zu öffnen. Hör auf. Was passiert hier? Ich habe es nur mit Mario und Luigi-Geräuschen verwendet.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
And so I switched. DaVinci Resolve. There it is again. Yeah, that's me. I've been doing it the whole time.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Put a walkie-talkie behind the drywall in your bedroom and I've just been me in the middle of the night like...
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Sie sind zweimal so viel pro Jahr auf vollem Preis. Oder mehr, es ist verdammt.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Du meinst, es ist kein separates Software, um VFX zu machen, wie After Effects ist? Was für ein fucking Welt, in der man leben muss.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Was benutzt du für Thumbnails? Für Thumbnails bin ich immer noch verbunden.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Ist Photoshop überhaupt ein echter Wettbewerber? Ich weiß nicht... Ich weiß, GIMP ist ein kostenloses Open-Source-Programm, aber ich weiß nicht, welcher Name-Brand-Wettbewerber Photoshop ist. Das ist verrückt.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Oh, das ist wie eine Hardware-Familie, oder? Wir sollten einen machen und den Picture Store nennen. Aber es ist einfach großartig. Ich... Es hat mir einen sehr langen Zeitraum gedauert, um das zu bekommen, Joe. Es hat mich getroffen. Als du lachtest, habe ich gedacht, was hat er gesagt? Oh. Du solltest mir mehr Aufmerksamkeit zahlen. Ich bin der Host. Bildschirmstelle.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade, the bald one. Joined as always by my co-hosts and sometimes competitors currently competing against each other, Mark. Hi. And Bob. I thought I was going to be the bald one going forward. I thought we were going to make a... It's fine. That's fine. I just thought we had talked about that.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Look and you'll see where the trajectory is going. Look in your head. Adobe only has themselves to beat and they are currently beating the shit out of themselves. No one else even makes things that compete with several of their mainstay pieces of software and people are still like, oh, maybe I don't need a PDF reader or Photoshop. I'll just take better pictures, I guess.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I gave some amount of points for that. Very generous. Anything else y'all want to add before I jump into a titillating topic? I don't think so. Wow, okay. I mean, I do, but you know, whatever. Way to just cut him off, Wade. Wow. My bad. Wade, I forgive you. I forgive you. Bob, I feel like you're the me of this episode as far as competitors go, man. Giving me some trouble as the host.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I appreciate that. Yeah. Good to have an antagonist. And tag of this. Editors put a penis in his frame. Just slightly emerging from below. Oh no, from above. That's even scarier. Hit him from all sides. Just a blur encroaches from all directions into me.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Oh, I see. I see, sure. Make one sneak up from behind him holding a knife, wearing a mask. And tag this. Alright, alright, enough of this. I have a topic and at first take, Bob, you might think this is skewed against you, but it's not. Okay, that feels pretty fair. I know for a fact that you two can come together and work together to make this happen.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Aber nur einer von uns hier hat oder arbeitet an einem Film. Aber ich denke, diese Erfahrung ist wichtig, weil wir einen Film machen werden. Aber lass mich die Szene für dich setzen. Ich kenne Sachen. Das Jahr ist 2040. Okay. Ihr zwei habt seit etwa 15 Jahren zusammen Filme gemacht. Ihr wisst beide, was ihr macht, eure Erfahrung. Okay. Das Problem ist, ihr habt keine Ideen.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Writers have no ideas, you two no ideas. AI can't help us. AI cannot help. But there's one thing that can. Standing on the backs of those that came before, and their backs have been crushed by time because their works are now in the public domain! So we're using characters, plots, music, whatever else you might need, that's now in the public domain.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
The caveat is, you can only take one thing from each work. So one character, Ein Plotpunkt, ein Lied, was auch immer. Was ist das Statut der Bedingungen auf Copyright? Wenn das der richtige Begriff ist. Es variiert von Land zu Land und es ist anders für verschiedene Dinge. Wenn zwei Leute zusammen etwas machen, ist es wie wenn die jüngere Person lebt, plus 75 Jahre. Manchmal sind es 95 Jahre.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I trademarked being bald, so I have to own it now. I thought we got all the fighting out before the episode started. We promised we wouldn't do this to people. Look, I'm not fighting. I was just asking a question. I'm just curious. That's what we do here. We just ask questions. I'm not fighting. I'm not fighting. We complain a lot more than we should. That didn't sound like a question to me.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Kannst du uns einfach ein Nummer geben, damit wir wissen, in welcher Ära? Und Legalität aside, die Regeln haben sich in 2050 verändert. Also habe ich 2040 gekauft, um einen Grund. Oh, 2040. Nur um euch etwas zu geben, was im öffentlichen Bereich von 2040 sein sollte. Es gibt ein paar Charaktere.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Wenn ihr euch das anschaut, könnt ihr einfach googlen, welche Charaktere im öffentlichen Bereich von 2040 sein sollten. Wir werden es nur anwenden. Es gibt einige interessante Dinge. Aber ich wollte euch ein bisschen mehr damit arbeiten, als was aktuell da ist. Es gibt ein paar Sachen, aber es gibt noch mehr. Dinge wie der originelle Batman-Comic, Popeye.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Verändert es sich, wenn, sagen wir, dieser Charakter vor einiger Zeit originalisiert wurde, aber dann seitdem wiederholt ist? Yeah, so like Steamboat Willie just entered public domain last year. So you can use Steamboat Willie, but you can't use the more modern iterations of Mickey Mouse yet. Is that what they argued? Like Steamboat Willie is not Mickey Mouse. It's Willie.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
I think officially, yeah. It's William. Modern depictions or like, you know, things, ways things have changed. You have to wait for that version of it to go into the public domain. So like when I say Batman entered the public domain or enters the public domain like 2034 or something, it's the original like debuting comic of him. Okay, got it.
Distractible
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
Technisch erscheint Superman und Lex Luthor im öffentlichen Bereich, aber Lex Luthor wurde ursprünglich nur als Luthor bekannt. Also kann nur die Luthor-Version von ihm erscheinen, bis Lex, die 1960 war.
Distractible
Don't Get Me Started
Goddamn, I didn't think you were gonna go all that way on the... I don't actually know very much about donkeys.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Can you see? Oh! Holy shit. That is very fair. The fairest thing that's ever happened, possibly.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Yeah, I was thinking that would be really inconvenient if you rolled it on the floor every time.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich habe nicht über die Dice gesprochen, ich habe über die Bonus-Punkte gesprochen.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Yeah, Mark, I think he hears you. I think he understands. Okay, good. He hears me loud and clear.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
How does that change it? I don't know. So anyway, who wants to go first? Well, Mark, I think I went first last time. So I'll let you go first this time. Interesting, because I'm pretty sure I was a competitor last time. No, this is your game. This is apparently your game. I don't think I made that claim. I think you made that claim. I didn't make that claim.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Well, you were talking about how last time us guys were doing things and doing... We, comrade. We? Which is the subreddit's favorite joke. They do love that. Faszinierend. Okay, can I ask a question about the context? I think I know where you're going with this and I'm excited about your question. Where in the body am I? You go first.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Where is Osmosis Jones in relation to us? Yeah, how far is Osmosis Jones and how rapidly is he approaching our location? auf einem alten Disney-Film an diesem Punkt weg. Okay, interessante Antwort. Du kannst entscheiden, Mann, das ist dein Szenario. Ich habe das Grundwerk gelegt. Okay, also, ich fliege um die Zirkulatoren-Systeme. Und mein Ziel ist es, diesen Körper zu töten, richtig?
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
So I'm swirling around the circulatory system. I know that they don't know where I am, but also, unfortunately, I don't know where I am. So I'm going to stay, but I do know that eventually I'll make it back to the heart. And when I get back to the heart, I am going to try to grab on to the closest thing in the heart and just start warming my bacteria fingers in there. And hopefully kill them.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oh nein, du kannst einfach sagen, dass das nicht funktioniert. Das ist okay mit mir. Das ist mein Schmerz. Ich habe es vergessen.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oh nein, weil ich was sagen wollte, was ich sagen wollte, ist, dass ich in den Herzen gehe und mich selbst zerstöre und versuche zu explodieren. Ich wünschte, dass ich das gesagt hätte, weil dann hätte es nur eine katastrophale Reaktion wie der Todesstar und das Körper würde mit Blut aus jeder Erde explodieren.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Damn you, Dice! Turns out Wade dropped us into the body of someone with a completely immunocompromised immune system. No defenses whatsoever. Bob, you're a virus in the human body. Oh, okay. Es ist anders. Wenn du Plague Inc. spielst, sind das sehr verschiedene Vektoren. Sie sind sehr anders.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Du musst ein Planet sein. Wie du deinen Planetstatus zurückbekommst, ist mein Ziel, das Universum zu töten. Was es kostet, ein Planet zu sein, Oh, okay. Okay. You are sucking in the moons to get bigger. If you roll a 20.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
You can wait to see if anyone thought that was funny. You knew it was funny. I find me hilarious. Did I tell you guys about the loaner car that I had recently? I don't think I did. It's not that funny of a story, but as a large person, this happens to me a lot. I don't fit in things, but I can find a way to work around it.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
That would be a 6. I mean, either way, that doesn't really matter. I think those are both pretty much failures.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Das ist ein tolles Ding, das wir benutzen, um unsere Rollen hier zu bekommen. Es ist gut. Das ist das, was wir letztes Mal benutzt haben und es hat funktioniert. Die Monden, zu dir, Mark. Okay, also ich bin klein, aber ich habe Monden, was eine sehr planetäre Fähigkeit ist.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Also habe ich die Polarität meiner magnetischen Felder umgekehrt, um die Monden zu drücken und ihre Masse zu erzeugen, richtig? I angle, I angle the direction that I am bringing those moons in to eject myself from the orbit. And I'm not going in, I'm going out to the Cooper Belt to gain even more Agario-style Katamari Damacy.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I'm going to revolve around, slingshotting through the Cooper Belt, getting everything I can. Hopefully re-entering back in to steal the orbit of one of those other planets. I'm not sure which yet. But I know that if I dethrone one of them, I can be that planet. Oddly enough, that's literally exactly what I was thinking. Nice, nice. We're on the same wavelength here. I love this.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
That's surprisingly good. You needed a 19? Bob, back to you. You now need an 18. I'm small, but I have moons. A very planetary feature. I reverse the polarity of my magnetic field and start sucking my moons in.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I angle the suckage of the moons in so that they actually eject me from my current orbit and throw me into an extremely eccentric orbit that will take me out to the... Also, I don't know who's right. I've always said Kuiperbelt? Is it Cooper Belt? It's probably. But I said Cooper. I don't know. That will take me out to the Cooper Belt. A lot of guys have belts. Could be any of them.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Where I will Agario-Style, Katamari, Dimash-Style, accumulate more mass. Before my highly eccentric orbit comes me, flings me, flailing back into the solar system as a big, big boy. I have goals. And primary goal of my goals, top most of them, is to take the place of the most overrated planet in the solar system. The one that everyone's talking about all the time, no matter what.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I am gonna knock... earth down a peg slash into the sun and take its place knocking earth into the sun to take its place so close bob you needed an 18 you got a 17 oh so almost there almost there so do i successfully knock the earth into the sun and that doesn't work or do i not successfully accomplish that i'll tell how that story unfolds yeah listen i'm just the dice roller
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I don't fit in the booth at the restaurant, but I'm like, can we just get a table or whatever? These things happen. Letztens ging mein Auto rein und die Verleihung war wie Wartezug, also gaben sie mir ein Auto gratis. Sie waren so wie hier, nehmt nur einen von diesen, fahrt das um und wir geben euch das Auto zurück. Ja, heute Abend oder morgen, was auch immer. Aber schön und ich hat es genossen.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ist das so, wie das normalerweise funktioniert? Ich rühre die Steine und du sagst mir, was passiert. Dungeons & Dragons, nicht Dungeons & Storytime, komm schon.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I reverse the polarity of my magnetic fields to draw those sunbenches in, but I angle them so that they eject me from my orbit into a very eccentric orbit through the Cooper-Kuiper belt, where I will gather as much mass of Gario, Katamari, Dimash-y style, and then angle my way back in from my eccentric orbit and hit that upstart son of a bitch Earth. Fuck them.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
They think they can not name me a planet. I was a planet before any of those little bugs on the surface were ever there. I think that's what you meant, Bob. I think that was kind of the attitude you were going for. And so I wangdoodle into them, pool cue style. Bink bop, they go sailing. I steal their moon. Weil ich Charon verloren habe und das schmerzt, aber Charon ist Teil von mir jetzt.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich schaue auf die Erde, um in die Venus zu schießen. Weil wenn ich einen anderen Planeten knacken kann, dann erhöht das meine Chancen, ein Planet zu sein. Also die Erde, die in den Sonnenschein geschossen wurde, wirst du auch in die Venus schießen können? Wir wussten nicht, dass es in den Sonnenschein geschossen wird. Das war eine Hoffnung. Ja, das war meine Intention. Ja.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Verdammt. Das ist das gleiche, was ich letzte Mal gespielt habe. Glücklicher Nummer 13. Bob? Okay, ich bin Pluto. Ich bin klein, aber ich habe Monden. Sehr planetär. Verweigere das Magnetische Feld. Schmutz die Monden ein. Angle diese Scheiße, damit sie mich in eine höchst exzentrische Orbit launchen. Aus in den Cooper-Kyper-Cooper-Belt.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Out there, I'm gonna accumulate as much mass as I can before my orbit carries me back in to the solar system where I will smash into that upstart pipsqueak son of a bitch earth and throw those little ant douchebags down towards the sun where they belong and on the way I'm angling it so that the earth also smashes into Venus because the more planets I take out, the better chance I have of being named a planet.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I miscalculated. A little bit. I stole the Earth's moon and that affected my trajectory. And I am now accidentally at a slightly larger, further away orbit from the sun than the Earth was. But during the collision...
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und als ich zu dem kam, habe ich einfach das Auto ausgeliefert und ich habe mit dem Service-Departement gesprochen und dann hat er mich auf den Mann gegeben, der mir das Auto holen wird. Und er war er hat mich so auf und her geschaut und war so wie Hey, was geht's? Wie geht's, Sir? So, we only have coupes available for the loner cars, right? Like two-door, like small cars.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Some living creatures that were on Earth accidentally transferred over onto the surface of me and as their now home planet, I do everything I can to nurture them into evolving into a species that will worship me as the planet they know and love and came into existence upon. I hope you at home can regurgitate all of that. Good luck, Mark. All right, Bob, you need a 16 or higher.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I'm gonna get it, Mark. I don't think I got it, Mark. All right. Let me tell you how this is gonna go down, right?
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I reverse the magnetic polarities, bringing Charon and my little tiny extra moon, but I got two. Take that Earth. Angle it. I go out Cooper Kuiper Belt. Bradley Cooper my way to extra mass. Angle eccentrically back in towards that fucking piece of shit. God damn shit stain of a planet Earth. Steal their bitch. It's mine now. Go hang out with Venus in hell. Push it out of the way. Oh, what's this?
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
There's things on me. They're growing. I'm going to take care of them. I'm not gonna wash. I'm not gonna bathe. They're gonna love me and despair like Galadriel. But you know what else? You know who is eyeball giving me the stink eye? You know who's giving me the stink eye? Earth's Protector Jupiter. Earth's Protector Jupiter been like...
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I've been protecting that son of a bitch from every threat, which way to Tuesday. And he's giving me the stink eye. But you know what? I've played games a lot. And I know a weak spot when I see it. This moon don't need it. Like an Olympic spinny big rock thrower, dude. I take that moon and I start spinning because the moon's not loyal to me. I don't need it. Slink it.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
right for the big red butthole in jupiter and i bullseye it blasted out another planet down all right let's see if that works you need a 15 or higher god i hope that works 16 okay well this is feeling very familiar i feel like last time we played this game i didn't win a single dice roll if i recall
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Es ist schockierend, wie das irgendwie funktioniert auf diesem Show, wo es irgendwie immer das Gleiche ist, egal wie viele Male ich die Dice in meinem Favorit gespielt habe.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Habe ich es. Bist du bereit für deinen Szenario? Gehe ich zuerst? Ich bin. Oh ja, ich denke, es ist Mark nur ein.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Mark hat seinen ersten auf seinen ersten Schritt gewonnen, weil die Dice, die wir rollen, sehr fair sind. Ja, Natürlich, ich erinnere mich an das, was passiert ist. Ich habe es definitiv nicht vergessen. Okay, also es wäre Marks turn again, weil das fair ist. Bob, ich möchte nur, dass du bereit bist. Ich möchte, dass du auf deinem Besten bist.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Mark, ich werde dich nicht fragen, ob du bereit bist. Wir gehen einfach rein. Okay. Du bist ein Orgasmus-Pig und ein Landwirt kommt, um dich zu töten. Oh Gott.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Von was? Orgasmpower? Was meinst du mit mindestens 30 Minuten? Ja, der Landwirt wird dich nicht währenddessen töten, er ist respektvoll. Also muss ich es lange dauern?
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And I was like, oh, that's fine, man. We have our other car, you know, is a family car too. So like, I don't need to put the baby seat in it or anything. That's fine. And he's like, yeah, yeah, it should be fine. It'll be fine. Can I see your driver's license? And it was just a weird vibe. I got to the car outside. The guy gave me the keys and walked away. And I went to get in it.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Komm schon, Mann. Was musst du überhaupt überlegen? Der erste Schritt ist offensichtlich. Okay, okay, okay, hier geht's.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Barely three minutes into mid finish and here I hear Farmer John's boots thundering down the roadway. I know what's up. He fed me oats that morning. I know a trap when I see it. Look down, it's not Betsy.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Verdammt. Fuck, Gott, Phil. Mark, du solltest hoffen, dass Gott nicht wieder zu dir kommt. Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me. Here I am with Bessie. You've seen a pig, right? Anyway, here I am, not three minutes into finishing, when I hear Farmer What's-His-Face's boots come slamming down the roadway. I know what that means. He fed me oats this morning.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I know what that means. I look down and it's not even Bessie. It's just a pile of straw wrapped in a blanket. It's okay though, because the farmer is very polite. He would not dare slaughter me until I'm finished finishing. When I wield my most deadly weapon as a pig. Oh, you know, my diarrhea that I can't stop from coming out violently.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And so I just jump all over them and just try and smother them with shit and see if I can hold them down and drown them in my own shit. Thank you for keeping that succinct, boy. Let's roll the second die. God, I hope I don't get a 19. Oh no, it's Mark's turn. I can't believe you remembered every single detail.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And I don't know if anyone else who's not a very large person can relate to this. But I had that moment where I was like, I'll just slide in. And I didn't get past my ribs. I was trying to slide into this car. And I went to sit down. And it was literally like... Oh, all right, all right, hang on, maybe the seat's not all the way back, maybe the steering wheel's not up.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Swing? Mit beiden. Es ist nicht wirklich ein Swing. Es ist mehr wie ein... Ich versuche, ihn zu dekabinieren. Okay.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oh, that's definitely gonna happen. We haven't wasted a bunch of 20s on goofing around. Eight? Hey, teen? No. Bob, do you? Dare penthouse form. I never thought this would happen to me. There I am with Betsy. Not three minutes into finishing when I hear Farmer watch his face as boots come slamming down the drive. And I look down and it's not even Betsy.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
It's just a bale of hay with a blanket wrapped around it. I know what's happening. He fed me oats this morning. I know what's happening. But he wouldn't dare kill me before I finish finishing. He's a polite sort. And as I'm finishing, I look around and I see that he left a bucket of milk out. And I grab that and I slide it under. And he has no idea. I'm going to be finishing for hours.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I take my hoof and I dip it in the milk and I go... As I'm finishing repeatedly, I get about halfway through the bucket of milk before I realize I need to find another way out. And he's a sympathetic man, so if I pretend to have a heart attack, he'll probably come check on me and his guard will be down. And so I wipe the milk off my hoof and I lay over on my side and I go...
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
It was, everything was as up and back and out as it could get. And so I, and I, this was my car for at least the day. And getting in is honestly not the hard part. Like I... Ich musste mich auf ihn angeln, aber es gab einen Moment, in dem man sich einfach aufschlägt. Und es war okay, es war sehr komfortabel zu fahren.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Like I'm having a heart attack and the farmer comes in and drops a shovel behind him and he's checking on me. And as he leans over to check on me, I jump up on him and start shitting everywhere. And as my shit attack is panning out, I realize it's probably not enough to finish the job. So I reach back and I grab Bessie and I lunge off the shit covered farmer and pick up the shovel that he had.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I don't have fingers, so I kind of have it in both arms and I go... Und ich versuche, ihn zu zerstören. Und das funktioniert nicht. Aber an diesem Punkt habe ich eine Öffnung. Er hat die Tür geöffnet. Und so habe ich mich und Bessie aus der Tür ausgetauscht. Und gerade auf der anderen Seite des Wegs, den der Farmer gerade ausgetauscht hat, um mich zu töten, ist der Traktor.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich habe diesen Mann hundertmal die Traktor operiert. Also weiß ich, was ich tun soll. Ich setze Bessie unter die Pedale und sage, was ich das Wort sage, du für es. Und ich steige auf den Topf. Then I push buttons until that son of a bitch rumbles into life. And then I pull on some levers and then I look down at Bessie and I yell, floor it!
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Bob, you need a 17. Oh man, I really hope for Mark's sake we get there. No. No. Oh, that's almost a 17.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
You can start up bridging things, I think, Mark. We're accumulating a lot of stuff. Dear Penthouse Forum, you've heard this story before.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Blast him. Grab Betsy. Grab his shovel. Hey! Tornado Attack didn't work. I throw the shovel away, grab Betsy again, drag out to the outside where there's a tractor. I've seen the farmer use a tractor before.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I push buttons, I pull levers, get that thing rumbling, point it right towards where that farmer's shaking in my shit pile. I say, floor it! And I remember, Betsy's a pilot. Hey, can't really do that. I scramble. I'm like, shit, I'm on the other side of the tractor. It's already going. She's gonna blow if I don't divert power to the engine or the wheels.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
So I dive for the gas pedal, push Betsy unfortunately out of the window, and I see Betsy tumble right under the tractor thresher blades. No! No, I like that. I just don't know if it's gonna work. Please? Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to me. I'm with Bethany. Got three minutes in. Farber wants his face. He fed me oats. I know what that means. He fed me oats.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Aber wenn das so ist, wie man sich in etwas befindet, ist es meistens horrifisch. Und ich fuhr nach Hause, parkte im Fahrzeug. Es sah aus wie die Szene für Mace Ventura, wo er aus dem Rhino geboren wird. Like I started trying to get out of the car and I was just like pulling. But I ended up on my back laying next to the car in the driveway naked, naked because my clothes peeled off. That's fine.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I know what that means again. Look down. Das war's für heute. Bis zum nächsten Mal.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I can do this for hours and I do and about halfway through the bucket of milk I realize he's too polite if I pretend a heart attack he'll get worried and come to help so I clean the milk off my hoof and then he comes in and he's all bending down and that's when shit attack and I shit all over him especially his face and he's writhing around and then I use that opportunity to go behind him and pick up a shovel that he dropped and I also I brought Bessie with me don't forget that and I try and tornado attack
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
und die Schleife macht nichts, weil ich ein Pferd bin. Und dann bin ich so und ich fahre über den Traktor, der über die Straße parkiert ist, und ich tue Bessie an die Pedale und ich bin so, wenn ich das Wort sage, du bist für es. Und dann steige ich auf und ich drücke die Knöpfe und ich drücke die Löcher und es rumpelt die Leben. Und dann schreie ich nach Bessie für es.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und nichts passiert, weil Bessie ein Pfeil von Hey ist. Also bin ich rausgekommen und habe Bessie aus dem Fenster geschlagen. Sie fällt leider in die Schleifbläder des Traktors. But it's okay, cause she's made of hay, so she reformed perfectly into the exact same bill of hay on the backside of the tractor.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And the blanket's wrapped around her, she's even better, cause she's not all beat up by me fucking her. And then I floor it right over to the farmer, but then I realized that the wall of my pen is made of stone, so the tractor just goes right into the stone wall and then DOINK! And nothing!
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und dann habe ich gemerkt, dass der Landwirt immer eine verpackte, gekackte, bereit-zu-gehen-Schotterhaut behält, die auf der Rückseite des Trekkers liegt. Und auch wenn ich keine Fingern habe, kann ich wahrscheinlich das Ding nahe zu ihm bringen und dann mit etwas triggeren. Also habe ich gesagt, ich schiebe ihn mit seinem dummen Gesicht.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Also nehme ich die Waffe aus dem Trecker und lege es runter, so wie ich es gedreht habe, und versuche, den Trigger zu drücken und ihn mit der Schotterhaut zu töten.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Right within shitting distance. Shit in his eyes. Grab Betsy. Grab his shovel. Try to swing his cap. Didn't work. Too low to the ground.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Throw Betsy up by the gas pedal. I say, when I tell you to floor it, you floor it. I start pushing buttons, pulling levers. And I get it lined up. Engines rumbling. I go, Betsy, floor it! Duh, pile of hay. Strahlt sie aus dem Fenster, sie geht in den Thresher Blades. Nein! Und dann formt sie sich wieder in einen Pfeil. Hey, pre-fucked.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Blink! Blank! Fuck! He's so nice! He just had blanks in his shotgun! He wasn't gonna kill me at all! Maybe he wasn't gonna kill me! I apologize. I say, hey, bro, maybe I misread the whole situation. Can you please forgive me?
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I don't know if my neighbor saw me. They probably didn't. They're not. It's fine. The last thing that happened between me and this car was I had to drive it to the dealer and drop it off to get my car back. Und wie sie sagten, wenn du es zurückbringst, drückst du es einfach in den Service-Garage, in die Innenseite und drückst es weg. Und ich habe das nicht gedacht, bis ich da war.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oh no. Why? Alright, I have a new strategy. I'm going to try and get to the part where I add new stuff in one breath. Okay. Und dann kommt er rein und er ist so traurig. Und ich bin so, ah, und ich nehme Bessie, ich nehme die Waffe und ich... Tornado-Attack! Nichts passiert, weil ich fake bin. Dann gehe ich raus und es ist ein Traktor. Ich drücke Bessie an die Pedale und es ist ein Traktor.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich drücke die Knöpfe und ich drücke die Löcher und ich bin so, Bessie, fliege es! Und sie macht es, weil sie... Ich drücke sie raus. Trägerbläder! Ah! Sie ist in Ordnung! Oh, oh! Sie ist noch heißer als vorher! Und... I floor it and the tractor hits the wall and just doink. But because of the doink, there's a shotgun and it falls right down.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I'm like, ooh, and I get the shotgun out of my mouth and I go and I shoot it and bam, it's a blank because the farmer's so nice. And I'm like, oh, this guy's so nice. I stick my jizz paw out and I'm like, hey, can you forgive me? Hey, hey, buddies, pals. And he looks me through his shit-covered eyes and he grimaces and he says, I'm gonna eat you myself.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich schaue mich französisch um, weil ich bemerkte, dass er mich nicht verraten wird. Und da ist eine Öl-Lampe auf dem Garten, äh, auf den Räuchern des Gartens. Und ich bin so, naja, ich weiß nicht, ob ich es erledigen kann, aber vielleicht sterben wir beide, du Arschloch. Und ich steige hoch und schnappe die Öl-Lampe, damit sie in eine riesige Flamme bricht.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und der gesamte Gart ist in einer Konfliktion von Flammen eingeladen, weil es alles mit Haar und allerlei flammigem Scheiß befüllt ist. And the farmer's laying there still trying to get his bearings back from the shit. And I stare into his eyes as he realizes that he's gonna die and it's all my fault. You need a 13.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Three hour episode of mostly just this one thing. Your penis form. I never imagined what happened to me. You know Betsy, right? Well, anyway, three minutes into I have 30 minute orgasm. I I hear Farmer John, he's coming my way.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Aber wo ich den Auto abgedrückt habe, gab es einen vollen zwei-Storey-Wall von Fenstern in den Haupt-Showroom des Verkaufs. Where every single salesperson and customer and every human in the entire building was looking out from their offices and desks at these windows. And then I parked this tiny car in there and proceed to do the fat guy dance.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
He was gonna eat me himself. He says I grab the lantern from up on high. I dive bomb into it. I dive up bomb into it. I headbutt it. Blast into a fireball conflagration. It takes the whole barn covered in hay everywhere wood beams. I say like, baby, I can't kill you, but I'm gonna take you with me or something. I said something cooler than that. It was in the moment. I can't remember right now.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And then as we're all burning and we're in there, he rises from the embers. He's half, you know, V from Vendetta, when he stood out of the ashes, everything went, oh! Das ist, was er gemacht hat. Right then and there. He's naked too. Well, I mean, I'm naked too, but I'm a pig, but that's okay. And then I see, behind him, Betsy. Betsy there. She's walking into the flames right behind him.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
He doesn't see. He's too busy screaming, about to kill me. Removes the blanket off of herself. Wraps. Him and her in the blanket. I'm like, oh, my bacon sizzling, but she's sacrificing herself to take this guy down once and for all because a blanket is going to seal them both up. They will both burn and I might live, but he will die and I might die.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Dear Pet House Forum, I can't believe I happen to be with Betsy. I looked down. You know a pig. Three minutes in. The farmer starts walking down. I look down again. Bessie's made of hay. Oh no. Farmer comes down. He fed me oats. I know what that means, but he's gonna wait to kill me until I finish finishing. Oh man, I'm starting to lose bits of it. And I'm like, well, I can finish forever.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I see a bucket of milk. I slide that between my legs. I dip my hoof in and I start going... Und ich habe das für Stunden gemacht. Und in der Mitte des Kühlbockens habe ich gesagt, oh, Fake Heart Attack. Und dann habe ich das Milch aus meinem Hüft gebraten und ich bin so und er kommt rein, weil er dumm ist. Und er schaut mich an. Und als er sich überwacht, schiebt er sich runter.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich schiebe mich über und ich schiebe mich über. Und das tötet ihn nicht. Ich weiß nicht, warum es das tun würde. Und ich habe die Bessie gefangen und ich habe die Schraube gefangen und ein Tornado-Attack. Und das tut nichts. Und ich habe die Bessie gefangen und ich bin so, ah, Tractor.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich schiebe sie hoch von den Pedalen und ich drücke die Löcher und drücke die Pedale und es rumpelt die Leben. Und ich schiebe sie nach vorne und ich bin so, Floor it! Nothing happens. Bale of hay. I chuck her out. She goes into the fresher. Nothing happens. Bale of hay, but sexy. And then I floor it. Doink. I hit the wall. Farmer not dead. Shotgun falls in. I grab the shotgun.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And I'm like, oh, I'll kill him. Click. Bang. Oh, it's a blank. Oh, he's so nice. I stick out my jizz, mud, shit, milk-covered hoof. And I'm like, friends? And he's like, I'll fucking eat you. Und ich bin so, oh, dann werden wir beide sterben. Und ich habe die Öllampe geschlagen und es bricht in eine Konfliktion und der ganze Wald geht auf, weil es mit Heu und Scheiß gefüllt ist.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich schaue rum und er ist nicht sterben und ich bin so, oh, ich bin zitternd. Und dann sehe ich Bessie, die in Aktion kommt und auf den Farmer springt und ihre Heubäume um ihn herumwärmt und den Blanket und ihn aufschließt und ihn in einen Hot Pocket und in den Wald kocht. Und ich bin so, oh, er ist definitiv tot jetzt. Ich bekomme den Rest meiner Revenge auf seine Familie.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich gehe in den Traktor und fahre nach dem Farmhaus. Und als der Traktor direkt am Farmhaus fliegt, finde ich eine andere Öllampe, weil es ein alter Traktor ist. Dann habe ich die Öllampe über dem Außen des Traktors geschmissen. Und jetzt ist es ein großer, rollender Feuerball. Und es fliegt in den Farmhaus, um den Rest seiner Familie zu töten.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und auch der Serviceperson, der mit meinem Auto zu tun hat, ich ziehe rein und er ist so, hey, das ist Mr. Weisskind. Er beginnt, vor mir zu laufen. Also der Kerl, den ich bereits gesprochen habe, ist vor mir 20 Fuß weg und der ganze Rest von jedem ist so, oh, ein rotes Auto ist eingepumpt. Und dann muss ich den selben Tanz machen wie...
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Willkommen auf meiner Seite des Dice Rolls, Mark, wo du nie gewinnst und es nur schlimmer wird. Das war eine sehr, sehr schwere Beteiligung. Viele Phasen. Was war das erste, was passiert ist, als du das gemacht hast?
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Yeah, I know what that means, he fed me oats. I know what that means, he fed me oats.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
All the stuff in between the one breath recollection and the end did nothing. There's a lot of points there. See, Bob, your problem is you get too many funnies too quickly.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I feel better about the things I got points for now, I guess. How come no one got a point for floor?
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
That's the game! Nah, whatever the fuck his name was. Bob, you finished with 10 points. Mark, you finished with 9 points, making Bob the winner.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Yeah, Bob, you won. So you get to give a winner speech. Yay, dice rolls. It always feels good to win and it feels even better to win when I earned it. Das war das erste Mal. Ich meine, wir haben das nicht oft gemacht. Das war das erste Mal, dass wir so ein Spiel gespielt haben, wo es so lange gedauert hat, dass ich eigentlich viel daran erinnern musste. Am Ende da.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich habe einfach einige Details definitiv von meinen Erinnerungen ausgeschlossen.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Und ich bin auf dem Boden und es ist so, als ob der Mann über mir steht, weil er sich im Fahrzeug verletzt hat, um meine Hand zu schütteln. Und ich bin auf dem Boden und ich mache das Ding, wo du einfach poppst, als würde nichts passieren. Schließt die Tür, aber ich bin schmerzhaft. Ich poppe raus und ich bin so... Hey, schön dich zu sehen. Ja, lass uns... Gott, verdammt.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich weiß nicht, wie das für jemanden ist, der nicht nur sehr alt ist. Ich bin auch ein sehr großer, fatter Kerl. Es ist okay. Aber Mann, das tut weh.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
With no birth canal to really help me put on the performance, I kind of feel like I got there on my own very effectively. I don't know where you conjured up all the fluids that came out, but you were very, very moist on the way out.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Well, it helps in that situation. If you piss your pants, sometimes it'll help you squeeze the last pack half out. Anyway, that was just, that's stuck in my mind forever now, is the most recent thing where me being a very large person created a great scenario that didn't at all embarrass me for the rest of the week.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
And that was two weeks ago actually now, so it's clearly still, I'm not holding on to that. We are tall people. You are taller than me by a little bit, but we are tall people.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I get why planes and stuff are like that. No. The motivation for that is not complicated. It's money. Nein, sie wollen den maximalen Niveau der Säle und was auch immer, damit sie sie verkaufen können. Aber du hast recht. Warum? Warum ein Auto wie das?
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Es ist nicht so, als ob es physisch keinen Raum in dem Auto gab, um es in einer Art und Weise zu designen, wo es sich mehr auf eine wirklich große Person anbietet. Es war einfach nicht so. Anscheinend sind Deutsche nicht sehr groß, weil es war ein BMW, den ich in die Hand genommen habe.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oh, ich schätze, du hättest weniger Friction mit deinem leckeren, leckeren Kopf.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Nicht die volle Grundlage, aber wir haben Haare in Plätzen, die viel rütteln. Und Impakte. 30 Minuten rütteln? Zumindest. Mehr als 32 Minuten rütteln. Komm schon, Mann.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Er war auf Safari mit der Familie. Komm schon. Ich kann sie nicht stoppen. Es ist gefährlich. Mark ist in der Safari-Truppe am Los Angeles Safari Terminal. And he gets off when they let him off. That's how those things work.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I'm sure someone who saw that had quite the funny laugh at it. So I hope they appreciated it because at least a good thing came out of it.
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Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oli, ich habe es ehrlich gesagt nur gedroht, außer von der Verpackung nach Hause und zurück zur Verpackung. Ich fuhr es an einem anderen Ort. Ich könnte es wahrscheinlich nur mit einem Uber bekommen. Sie wollten mir einen geben, also habe ich gesagt, ich nehme ein gratis Auto. What could go wrong? Meanwhile, I can't get one even when I ask for one. Yeah, you just have to go to the right places.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Just kidding, it's the same bullshit it's always been, except I'm slavering. I'm slavering. What is the term? Slavering? Slavering isn't the term? Slavering. I'm not sure what word you're trying to say. I don't know this word. We're back, baby! Oh, wir sind wieder bei Harddrives. Es ist 2022 wieder. Harddrives, Harddrives, 122 TB. Hey, das ist fast doppelt das, was du erwartet hast.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich habe viele von denen, aber... Ist das wie ein M.2 SSD oder ist das ein spinny disky Kind? Es ist offensichtlich ein NVMe Drive, Bro. Ein bisschen größer als dieser, was noch ein NVMe Drive ist. Es wird nie fokussiert werden.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Oh man. I know how to fix this. Das funktioniert nicht. Das funktioniert normalerweise.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Weil die Mathematik für Bits auf dem Computer nicht random ist. Es gibt einen mathematischen Grund dafür. 500 Gigabyte, 1 Terabyte, 2 Terabyte, 6 Terabyte, 8 Terabyte, 122. Computern funktionieren nicht auf dem Metricsystem. Ruhig. 122! Ah! Why always when we're recording do you talk to me, Alexa? Sorry. Sorry. I don't know if you could hear that.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I always think it's like Mandy or something coming in and you're just like screaming. It every time makes my soul leave my body. I don't even know why it's not that scary. It's just a lady's voice. That is scary.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
anyway big hard drive mark it means that if i were to match that in size it would need six more of these which are 16 terabyte ones all in one drive i forget is that big enough so that all of your uh iron lung stuff would basically fit on one drive it would it would it would absolutely that would be very convenient big drive small movie you decide big drive yeah i don't think it's a small movie they didn't work on it very much
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Hello, fucking Ubuntu. To our listeners, Bob saluted. That was just for the watchers. I was not acknowledging the listeners. Don't talk to them.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Bobby Boucher? You know, the water boy? I've not seen that since, what was it, the 90s when it came out? It's like the sound he makes when he footballs. I haven't seen it at all.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Marinder? Dann habe ich Fedoras Server-Klient installiert und nach dem vollen Insulation-Prozess bin ich mit einem DOS-Kommand-Prompt gegrüßt.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Per Lizenz? Brauchst du eine Lizenz pro Maschine, die da ist? Also, du brauchst nicht unbedingt das.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Aber ich weiß, dass Linux gratis ist. Also muss ich das nicht mitnehmen. Aber auch es ist Dracula.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
It's like a Christopher Nolan Dracula. We're going for dark and gritty. Dracula's been through a lot.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I bet you won't have a ton of people in the subreddit telling you how good Linux is now that you've brought that up, Mark. I bet that won't happen at all. I'm sure it won't happen.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
People really took it like, you know. But now they understand it. Now they relate! They relate to why I found that, because it's like, he pops up so much, and you're just like... Tie Fighter Geräusche.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Ich kann nicht überlegen, dass Mark nur Slavor, Slavor, wie das Wort ist. Und es ist ein Wort, aber ich habe nie das Wort in meinem Leben gehört. Ich kenne viele Worte. Ich kenne die besten Worte und ich habe nie das Wort gehört. Ich hatte auch keinen. Weißt du was, Mark? Du solltest so viele Punkte für Slavering bekommen. Wie schreibe ich das? Ich will das nicht als Slaver-Punkt schreiben.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Slavering-Punkt. Da ist er. Ich nenne es Slavering, weil ich es später nicht falsch lesen will und mich sehr verwirrt fühle.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
I still think you were too. You complained so much that we weren't engaging. And Mark and I engaged the shit out of Weird.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Pretty good, pretty good. I'm typing in bullshit is how it's going. You think this episode is bullshit? I haven't even started yet. I'm typing bullshit. Can't you copy and paste bullshit? Oh, waiting for cash lock. Could not get lock slash var slash lib slash donkey package slash lock front end. It is held by process 8569.
Distractible
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
We were unbelievably engaged. Unstoppably engaged. To the same extent that the ginger dead man is derisive, we were engaged. You did something. I got a dice. I think I've showed this off before. It's a very big dice. Is it fair? It is fair. Prove it. Roll a 20. Prove it's fair. Oh my god. Hold on.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
name of that stupid piece of shit what is this fucking bitch ass moon thinks it's better than us you fucking asshole moon you piece of shit what's your name oh you know what god oh what's your name what's what's your name what's your name oh i love that song yeah oh what's the name what's what's your name is it europa
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Oh, yeah. It's something to do with a black hole. I think, but it's not the event horizon. Or is that something else? What has a radius in life? What radii?
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
The minimum or something size that things must be compressed out to become a black hole or something like that? I don't remember.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I need to lead a revolution. I'm assuming this is German Shepherd Chica, so we're just gonna go with that. Sure. Ach du lieber.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I really had to go. I look around. Nothing but chimneys. And I'm thinking... You know, that chimney's about the same size as my butthole.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I'm Lori. I think the original voice might have been a bit harsher on the throat.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I remember a lot of the voices being done were pre any kind of training on the voice or any kind of, you know, good practices. So, um, because I remember old Herschel was like...
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
so i found this painting in this store and so i went to the store and it was a painting and it was a me and i was like wow that's weird um so i bought it and then i said i went i went to a club and i i showed it to him i showed everyone um
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
know what i was seeing this is morbid mysteries of the missing millennium viewer discretion is advised oh he's even got the viewer discretion always gotta do the viewer discretion is advised all right let's see how accurate that was oh god i want you all to close your eyes okay imagine imagine imagine imagine imagine imagine i went searching for the truth
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Like a fool, I found it. But some truths are best left undiscovered. Well, I turned around, and there it was. It was bigger than I could have imagined. The hikers claimed that when they turned around, it seemed as though their friend had simply vanished. When I turned around, my whole farm was gone. I don't believe in ghosts! There it is. When I turned around...
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
This is Morbid Mysteries of the Missing Millennium. Viewer discretion is advised.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
unusual oddities of a something understanding viewer discretion is advised all right let's see have you ever felt a chill up your spine i don't know man something just feels off like you know there's something standing right behind you but you just can't turn around Cut it out, man. You're giving me the creeps. What if I told you that the world was stranger than you could ever possibly imagine?
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
oh yeah sorry this is from episode recording so there's a little bit of me and wade laughing over some of these somehow we didn't get your original audio yeah those are lost those are actually lost and there's some from way back when that i would be shocked if you have because i made like three of those at the very beginning of of distracted
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
It's an inspirational story, one that really touches the heart and soul of everyone who will hear it.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
In a world full of darkness and cynicism, all 37 puppies were found alive. Sometimes a shining beacon of light can shine through. The Olympic gold medalist sold his medal to buy food for the hungry, which was him. Better than okay, this is The Greatest Good.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I'm going to be honest with you. I haven't the foggiest clue. I could make up some shit like I've been doing the past ones. I don't even know where this one begins.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Yeah. I don't remember. Question. Person. Question. Person. Nightmares. Pretty much, yeah. Is there viewer's discretion advised? That's what I want to know. I feel like you have to guess. It's there. Viewer discretion is advised.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
you know sometimes I feel like you don't take this seriously sometimes I feel like you're just you're just here to enjoy have a good time and you're not here to tackle the hard issues you're not here to get to the bottom of the truth to see into the heart of evil
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
One player is there to report what's real. Look, I'm all for fuel economy, but blood just don't work that way. No matter how terrifying it may be. So how good is bone broth for you? This is Nightmares of Future's Past.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
well one or the other no i'm cutting caffeine out of my life finally hey i've done this before what's in that mug you're drinking from there decaf which still has like trace amounts of caffeine that's a little bit right but but i'm like it's almost impossible to avoid because even like most sodas have it in it i'm just not going after coffee and red bulls because it was getting to the point where i was drinking like a cup of coffee maybe two and a red bull a day and it's like
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Have you ever felt the chill run up your spine? Well, it was like something trapped me on the shoulder, but when I turned around... Get ready to forget everything you know about everything. Guys, I'm still smelling something weird.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Welcome to the show that was formerly known as Don't Look Up, but we were sued by some dumbass in a movie studio. This is It's In The Air.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Mark, you're going to love this part. I've loved everything so far.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I think the answer to that is... Well, I would have known. I do know about the Challenger Deep.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
Anyway, I'm cutting caffeine because, you know, it's like it's just never actually hit me the way that I imagine things should. It's more about the B vitamins. And I've talked about that before and like the energy drinks. But now I just take a daily B vitamin supplement. And that's helping out a lot because when I'm taking to stars, it's just it's a long term. It's extended throughout the day.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
But as soon as I drink a cup of coffee, I go, oh, I'm so tired because it has a weird inverse effect sometimes. And it's just like, oh, man, I'm just like a sleepy time now. So I'm cutting it out and I'm going to be not doing it anymore.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
i've heard chemically in your brain it's like caffeine only works in small amounts periodically and if you get used to it unless you hit your threshold of caffeine it acts as like a depressant instead and you kind of just generally doesn't work as well more relaxing than anything but then you you that's why you keep elevating the amount and up and up and up
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I'm not trying to say that everyone out there shouldn't drink coffee or take caffeine. It's just that, like, ADHD medication is already a stimulant as it is. Like, Astaris is a milder one, but it's still a stimulant, and it still affects you, and then caffeine on top of that, it's just too many stimulants, probably not good for the body, not great for the systems, bad for the sleep.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
hi welcome to distractible this is a very special episode because even though i'm doing the intro i'm not the host for some reason i'm one man and this is my show and alongside me are the and friends bob and wade i feel like insulting us right as we're about to have total control over what you're about to do on a recorded video podcast is a bold choice but i'll take it oh
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I wouldn't mind doing an energy drink or coffee or something when it's needed. Like, I need to stay up tonight and do something.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
I better take this because that's what it's for, as opposed to just getting up every day and then taking it, which kind of defeats the purpose.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
You do enter a phase in your life when you get a workbench and you start collecting your tools. Tools. I have a workbench, but it's not organized, so I can't say that there's any pride going on in there. But Jason keeps all of his tools extremely, extremely organized. Like, absolutely everything has a label. Everything is in its place.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
He just cut out a bunch of tool slots for everything, so I'm envious of that.
Distractible
Mark's One Man Show
That might be one of the most clever jokes you've ever made. That was great. I'm going to applaud you.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
This is why emulation is so important and allowing emulation to occur and keeping and collecting of ROMs, especially when something becomes abandonware, which is just like a software that is so old that no one really wants to maintain it. They kind of wave there. If they're not supporting it, they're not expecting to make any money off of it. So it's like those old types of games.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
You're going to have to, like, swipe down to get the full video of the episode down a little bit. But if you go find that follow button, you'll know any time we get there. And then we look really good in Spotify's eyes, and then they will give us a lot of money. Bags. And that won't benefit you at all. It'll benefit us.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Emulation is a huge, huge thing. And that's just from passionate people that are making things. And I, I think it's better for the gaming companies to allow stuff like that to happen, especially for older catalogs, because if they're not going to put it on their store and have in like modern hardware, be able to emulate the older stuff, then why are they worried about anyone else emulating it?
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
They're not trying to make money off of it. Other people are just doing this for the passion and just because and it's free for everyone else. So no one's paying for those. Yeah, Nintendo.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
This is why people's right to privacy and whatever they want to do in their own homes is so important. You know, the adage of like, oh, if you got nothing to hide, what are you afraid of? But in reality, there are certain things. No one can stop you if in the privacy of your own home, if you want to have and collect ROMs of these games and stuff like that.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
No one can stop you if you want to share it with a friend. It's just when it gets to the point of like distributing on a larger level, people really are like, oh, wait, hold on there.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
And this is hypocrisy too on Nintendo's part because didn't they discover on some Nintendo event that one of their gaming stations where they had like a, even like, I think it was relatively modern stuff. They were using an emulator with ROMs of their own games in the public display where you could go up and play games wherever it was.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
It's like you're using the emulators that people put hard work into for your own benefit. So what's the deal?
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I mean, that actually is the argument. And they win. They win a lot. They win almost all the time. I think Nintendo's like like 13 and 0 for lawsuits on this kind of stuff.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
It's also because they'll drag you to Japan and do the court case in there. And Japan is a very strict.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
They're dragging you very fast. So you actually stay up. You kind of bounce on the ocean. It's like water skiing.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
For every bag of money we get, we'll put a portion of that towards the production value of this show. Right? Thought I had no water. I'm good. Give you a water point. Hydrated. They hydrated out there.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
all right so the topic we're gonna move on to that no one got the segue point oh wait yes you did you you got it oh i'm giving a point to the people at home for the segue point of today in that if you thought at home that this wasn't going anywhere you're right because i don't have an idea for this episode today I got nothing. I'm an empty sack of shit host that doesn't have nothing.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
So all of you doubters out there, probably the listeners, if we're being perfectly honest about this. It's definitely them. Yeah, it's definitely the listeners. All of you doubted me and you're absolutely right. So the listeners get one point. And let me tell you, if the listeners end up winning this podcast, we have to delete it. I'm making that rule right now. That's tricky.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Can we keep making more or do we have to delete it and stop? We could pirate it. Someone could make an emulator for this podcast and then pirate the ROMs. An emulator of a video player? I think they have those. I don't think so. I think that's not true. For legal reasons, you might not be able to.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Okay, so there were some things that I wanted to talk about, but it was more like random things that I was trying to get into. I think that's allowed. One of the things that I've been interested more and more in and what probably is, I think we talked about in a previous episode, was 3D printing. And I was just like wanting to talk about
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Hey, I've learned a bit about 3D printing, but there's nothing there. There's nothing substantial that I could possibly talk about. The Game Awards are occurring right now as we're speaking this, and there was some hype that Half-Life 3 was going to be announced there. There was other hype about Elder Scrolls 6. I've never watched the Game Award once. Oh, thank God. I thought it was just me.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
uh hydrogen sulfide probably sounds a lot like water too but i don't think you should drink that i think if you got hydrogen sulfide in your mouth it would not sound like you were drinking water it might for the first moment and then you'd be alive like oh god and then like death or something whatever happens what was the movie where there was like i think it was spy and it was like uh the guy who played the tall goofy guy in the office drank acid and as he's dying and his throat's
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
But I will say the thing about the Game Awards that I do appreciate is that there are no other platforms for this kind of game stuff to rally around anymore. Bob, you said it. There's no E3 anymore. There is nothing for it. And everyone knows award shows are money grabs. That's why people want to make them. That's why they exist in the first place.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I don't like awards, but I do appreciate that there still is some place because pomp and circumstance, I think is dumb. I think in general terms is dumb, but gaming does not have any like legitimacy as an art form outside of these events that have it in a pomp and circumstance way because money is draws attention from other people that want to take it seriously.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
And so I believe the gaming is like a very legitimate art form in terms of storytelling and experience. And there's still to this day, to this day, you see tweets all the time where it's like, I can't believe a grown man plays video games. This guy's like in his 30s and still plays video games. The average age of a gamer is like 35 or something now.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
yeah exactly and so legitimizing it in a way even if it's a money grab and i don't want to watch it i still appreciate that it exists and that it's taken it has a certain amount of prestige to the event itself and i think that's overall in it's not a big jump but it's it's a net positive for gaming
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Nobody wants that. Shit. I think what it comes down to is enough prestige around it because there is a certain aspirational thing for filmmakers. It's romanticized. It is not exactly what people want it to be. And Hollywood's shine has dulled a long, long time ago. But still, people look at film festivals with a certain like inspirational glamour to it.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Whereas like a convention, it's it's an everybody event. Everybody goes there and some film festivals are like that. But there is still like this kind of like, oh, this is a film festival. You have to be really, really, really good to be in this one. It doesn't even matter if it's like a local one. It's it's a it's a place where everyone loves status, you know, and they want a hierarchy.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
But with gaming, it's kind of democratized in a way. It probably won't be forever, whereas like, you know, it can still be done by a one person team and films can be done by one person, but it's incredibly difficult. to do.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
And so when it comes to like a convention like that, I think what people really enjoy about is like, here's here's here's Joe Schmoe's game at at booth 297, you know, and I think like it there really isn't someone that's going to judge them because they're so diverse and like it's it's the scales are so different.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
And the AAA titles are the only ones that actually go to the game award shows because they're they have money putting behind it and they want to have the prestige for it. But there's so little prestige to go around that there's not enough for a bunch of film festivals to occur.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I like flipping the bird. That's very funny. We stand by everything that we say on this podcast, just like we're going to stand by whatever Bob and Wade are going to say in this mall talk today. Let's go first. First person loses a point. I'll go first.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Yeah, we, we, I, the royal I. Okay, but I'm giving the other half to the listeners, so they're climbing, so just be careful. Don't love it. Oh, Bob, we gotta stop them. Yeah, they're getting there. Viewers, you get nothing, but listeners are dominating. Yeah, the viewers are not in this race anymore. Like I said, I don't have a topic this week.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I have some stories that, you know, would probably be a ha ha and a chuckle here and there.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
VA officials resign after Breitbart report of staff orgy at Tennessee Veterans Hospital. I have no idea the legit of this, but... VA? What is VA?
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Yeah, and again, I don't know about the validity of this story because the source, you know, is not really one to trust very much, but several senior officials at the Mountain Home VA Medical Center have resigned as a sweeping internal investigation and congressional probe into allegations of widespread sexual misconduct intensifies.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
A bargaining unit by a medical employee at the facility has been accused of engaging... Wait, one? Oh, never mind, of engaging in sexual relationships with at least 32 female colleagues. What? At once?
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
The man, whose name has not been disclosed, and several of the women involved reportedly shared details of their encounters on an online forum within a government communication portal meant for VA operations and healthcare discussions.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Investigators also uncovered allegations of an orgy involving at least 12 VA employees, though it remains unclear whether the incident occurred on federal property or off-site. Additionally, two employees reportedly admitted to engaging in sexual activity on the grounds of a medical center.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Now, most companies of any type would have probably have they have stipulations in your employment contract for, you know, fraternization, fraternization. That's the term. Yes. And so those are those are probably enforceable in some way, shape or form.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
But then again, you hear about workplace romances all the time because as you're an adult, you have so few places to interact with other people your age or around there. So, you know, the social interactions you have are limited to often work experience because we work until we die. This doesn't say they have any kind of relationship. They just fuck. That's a good point.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
What's the definition of fraternization? I don't actually know that.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Oh, wait, I just want you to know I gave you half a point for staff infections, but I gave a half a point to the listeners again because they had to hear it. Damn it.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Because they had to hear it. Hey, I heard it too. Bobby, there's only half a point to go around. There are smaller fractions, I'm just saying, but that's fine, that's fine. But it's bigger numbers, and that doesn't make any sense to me, so I can't deal with that. It is confusing. Yeah, so it's this guy that's the issue. What if these women couldn't help but be swooned by his riz?
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I would read more of the article, but it's one of those articles where like, please subscribe to be able to know more about this story. So it's like it blurs down right after that.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
That sounds pretty cool, but I like where this quote cuts off, because there's a quote at the very bottom of this that I can't read anymore, but it says, quote, the fact that the culture would even allow this to happen in the first place is absolutely wild, and... So we don't know if they're positive or negative about that. It's absolutely wacko. I know.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Oh, man. All right. So I'll leave that mystery there. I'll save the 12 foot ladder for later. But I'll give you a point for telling me about that because that would be very helpful. It's a good website. It doesn't always work, but it's a good website when it does work. It's very useful. Well, I hate it that like I'm subscribed to like Apple News on my phone.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I would use it more if the news app on the phone was in any way actually useful. Oh, it's terrible. I'm surprised at how bad it is. Yeah, I just I paid for it because I'm like, I want to know what the news is. And I'm like, well, as soon as I try to click on an article, it updates. And then I accidentally click on a different one. And then I can't find the article that was just there a second ago.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
That happens so much. Just please update after after I like I look at it because I have just enough time to read the article, be like, oh, that looks like it literally so many times I go to press it. It refreshes. It's infuriating anyway.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Okay, who's anti-orgies? Raise your hand. It's got to be Wade, I guess. I'm pro. Do I have to be anti? No, you don't have to be anti. Oh, good.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Too soon for what? What do you mean? You should say, is it too late to make that joke? Because that's not even close to topical anymore. Is that too soon or too late? It could go either way.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
But then we're going to double it and pass it on to the next person. That doesn't mean you get it, Wade. That doesn't mean you get it. Who else is here? When I read this next one, which I think will be a short discussion, whoever has the greatest topic in the world after that will get two points. Perfect. OK. All right. Police illegally sell restricted weapons to supply crime.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
And this is where I'm actually going to use the 12-foot ladder because it won't even let me scroll a little bit. That's all the words you get on that one. Okay, let's try this. So this is, again, genius police work occurring in this police station where they are selling illegal weapons to supply crime. Adair, Iowa, which I don't know what happens in Iowa, but I know it ain't good.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Dear Iowa. They have a population of 794, so small town, right? A little bit of suspicions were raised when the three-person police department asked regulators to buy 90 machine guns, including an M134 Gatling-style minigun capable of shooting up to 6,000 rounds of ammunition every minute, right? That's a lot of peacekeeping. That peace will be kept.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
God damn. I want to get to this quote and then I'll let you guys run with it. So federal agents later discovered Adair's police chief, Bradley Wendt, was using his position to acquire weapons and sell them for personal purposes.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
profit a jury convicted went earlier this year of a conspiracy to defraud the united states lying to federal law enforcement and illegal possession of a machine gun in response to this went said quote if i'm guilty of this every cop in the nation's going to jail went told cbs news just days before a federal judge sentenced him to five years in prison so five years is all you get for that yeah apparently i don't know how successful he was but he must have been a little bit at least
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
I better order a Gatling gun and 30 bars and nine AR-15s. How, I don't get, like, there's no subtlety ever with any of this. In anything where it's like people find a tiny bit of success, you'd think that they would just squeak through, just try to just really like wring it out slowly by slowly, but no. 90 machine guns for a three person police department. in an 800 population town.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
It was either sell it or, you know, fill it. And also it's 140 guns, so we need 50 more.
Distractible
[Insert Topic Here]
Monsanto ain't got nothing on this non GMO. Actually, I want the full GMO gun. I want the craziest.
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[Insert Topic Here]
So apparently, I don't know how much they were doing it there, but there were 58 cases that CBS News identified where law enforcement officers were criminally charged with illegally selling their weapons. Of those 58, 56 either admitted guilt or were convicted. So and then two denied wrongdoing and weren't convicted or whatever.
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So 56 out of the 58 of that were found were guaranteed to have these guns sold to other places. But that doesn't speak to how many nationwide has occurred. But 26,000.
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It's a weird pressure. I didn't even think of that because that is that is something that I've heard of before. And this comes down to where government records and keeping track of everything is very difficult because because the country is very big. And this is this is a problem.
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[Insert Topic Here]
And this is where probably there's a slippery slope for me to say, but this is where like, you know, more intelligent systems. I'm not saying I specifically, but if there was way to better categorize and understand what each individual does.
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[Insert Topic Here]
department was doing then budgetary tracking could happen but it's just so unfeasible because of how big it is and you would need more you would need as many people as are in those industries just to keep track of what they're all doing i don't know how the irs knows everything that they know they don't there's also i don't know anything except for the people that they are like well you're in trouble we're gonna get you why pick you and then they just target their five agents they have available on that one 70 plus guns red flag goes off in their email inbox eenie meenie miney fire
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[Insert Topic Here]
I mean, what's the statistic? How many guns to the population in America? Like how many guns? Isn't it like each person could have like 100 guns or something ridiculous? There are 393 million guns estimated in the United States, which is more than enough for one for every gun. 120 guns for every 100 Americans. So everyone gets also 0.2 of another gun after they get assigned their first gun.
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[Insert Topic Here]
That includes every American, doesn't it? They get a piece of a gun as they grow up. Every year they get another piece so that by the time they're an adult, they can assemble. All right, here's your receiver. All right.
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[Insert Topic Here]
For anyone outside of America, this is exactly how it works. We're all assigned a gun at birth. Doctor, my baby's out of ammo. I need a G-section.
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[Insert Topic Here]
All right, that's enough of that topic. Who's got the transition? Who's got the ultimate other topic?
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[Insert Topic Here]
You know what the second most highest country of gun ownership is? Which I didn't think of this. Pfft.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Every priest has a gun. God? Clearly heaven. By number, my numerical just pure guns, it's India. India has a second most, 71 million. But their per population is very low. The second per population is Saudi Arabia. Actually, it's the Falcon Islands.
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[Insert Topic Here]
The Falcon Islands got them all. No, no, no. And then actually Canada's pretty high up there, which makes sense. Canada makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Yeah, damn those people. Editors, have him canceled by putting in the worst country he could say.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Well, OK, so I have another, you know, Wade, you're not the only one here because I wrote down plus two for ray gun play. And then in parentheses, I put play gun. So I have to give another point to the listeners for hearing that. Mark, no, you're doing this to us. I know, but it's all over now. So we just need to read the points and wherever the chips have fallen, they are falling right there.
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[Insert Topic Here]
So that was a great episode. Well done. You really filled in the void of me not having any idea of what we're doing at all. Bob, you knew what distractible was. I forgot to ask what this podcast was to Wade. Oh, right. But we'll have to get that next episode. You lost a point for being first. You got a point for being sick, but that's the last point. You can never get a point again for being sick.
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[Insert Topic Here]
You got a caveat point. You got a then you're in court point for the Japan dragging. You got half a point of profits, which is pretty good. You know, in the long run, that's going to earn you a lot. 12 ladders, great suggestion. And then you got the plus two for ray gun, play gun. Wait, you got a water point. You got Diablo two point. You lost a point for cheating. And I don't remember why.
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[Insert Topic Here]
No, he cheated. He cheated. You got a nugget point. You got a naive point. You got plus half a point for staff infections. You got plus one for farm fresh guns, which I don't think is what you said, but it was.
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[Insert Topic Here]
I think I did. Word for word. The listeners. Oh, God. They got a point for nothing. They have a point in profits that are shared with Bob. They got a half a point for staff infections, which is shared with Wade. They got a breaking sad point and a play gun point. Which is four points for the listeners. Now, if you were counting before. I don't think we have to end the podcast. I think we're good.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Wade, you got four and a half points. Take that, listeners! But Bob, you got... One, two, three, four, five, six and a half. Six and a half! Okay. All right. That brings him up to the winning score.
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[Insert Topic Here]
I definitely do. Yes, I do. Yes. Winner's speech, Bob. Congratulations. It's been a hot minute since I won.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Anyway, thanks. Appreciate it. Okay. Wade, are you going to take that standing down? Standing up? Sitting down?
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[Insert Topic Here]
We're either going to be the UN or Six Flags. So we'll see you at Six Flags in the next episode. Thank you everybody so much for watching and especially for listening. Wink. I shouldn't have made that wink audible. Well, then the listeners would have got it. It was for them. Yeah, sure it was. Yeah, definitely. Uh-huh, because we love listeners. All right. Follow the podcast or else. Thank you.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Podcast out. Oh, follow these guys. I said it. It's too late. Damn it.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Well, that's good. I'm glad you found something other than hopeless. I gave you a Diablo 2 point.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Honest, just not all the way honest. Honest, I don't think that qualifies as honest point.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Hello and welcome to Distractible. My name is Markiplier and I'm going to be your host for today. I traveled in for this episode. I made a long, extensive journey to be here because there was a podcast emergency in that we needed to record this podcast. And what podcast is that?
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[Insert Topic Here]
There's another topic that you said at the very beginning that I want to touch on where you said $30. That was kind of high. I'm going to make a very bold statement. That is not a high price for a video game. And I'm not even considering like of the scale that this game is. In 1995, a game called Earthbound came out. So you guys probably know about it, but some people out there might not.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Which in today's money is... Is $144.81. That's a lot. If games prices had followed inflation like they probably should have, given that the development team for that game was significantly smaller than the development teams for games today, the reason that we have all these battle passes and the malicious practices is because the consumers balked at any price increase beyond...
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[Insert Topic Here]
Even $69.95 back then was probably pretty high, but then prices went down because people were like, it can't be over $50. And then every single nudge up after that was fought tooth and nail. And I'm not blaming anyone for this, but I'm coming out swinging by saying $30 for a game is not a lot of money.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Yeah, it'll come back up. It'll come back up. End of the episode. I'll ask it again. But this is the podcast where we make up everything as we go and the hosts change out and new bullshit comes every week. If you don't like this week's episode, next week's gonna be even better. We do two a week. Yeah, we do two a week. Some people don't know that.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Here's a good example of that actually happening properly, because Amy started playing Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. Now, if you know about that, it had an end of life, no longer going to make updates for the game. So what they did is they said, this is pocket camp complete. It's $10. You get everything that has ever happened in the game all for $10.
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[Insert Topic Here]
Yes. And so it used to have in-app purchases and stuff like that, but now it's just everything is unlocked. You can go through the entire game all in one go because they were like, we're not going to support it anymore. So here you go. And honestly, it's a better game this way. And I know it took time to develop things.
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[Insert Topic Here]
So in a weird way, it's kind of like this is a pseudo early access where they like filter content over time. It's just all how you package it. That's marketing. But now that it's $10 and everything is there, it's a fantastic game. And so it's $10. That's a bargain for what this game can offer you if you're a really big fan of that type of game.
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[Insert Topic Here]
So yeah, there's definitely ways that it could be done, but a complete game, oh, so much more valuable than any other.
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Kind of see the stars. I'm going to enjoy the boat ride over in my car. We'll replace some of the lifeboats with more cars so it's got more car space.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Yeah, of course. So Carmen seduces Don Jose. I was going to say Don Julio.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Don Jose, who is obviously already married because that's drama. And he's also at war, which is very dramatic, especially back in those days. They have mad, incredible, unbelievable, raucous sex.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Yeah. Sorry to pause it. But there was something, you know, we did animal noises too, right? There was a post on the subreddit. of someone being like, they should do animal noises again. Here's a video of animal noises that they haven't done. And I swear to God, people are so blind to what they want and the actions they're doing to prevent what they want.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Because if one of you two was on the subreddit and just decided to watch this video, you would have heard all these animal noises that you haven't heard and I wouldn't have been able to do it.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Some of the animals in that video were the ones I had queued up. Well, Lixian pulled them up, but they were the ones. If I hadn't just done that episode, if I hadn't just done it, they would have fucking ruined it. They would have ruined it, and it's what they wanted! How can people not think that far ahead into their actions?
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
And Mark? Well, it's pronounced Escamillo, and he's a renowned Bulefitter. Translations, it's not an English. Yeah, I understand your ignorance. Boy, insulting those is probably not a great way to start this turn, huh? Anyway, advice, Wade, don't do that. What? It's always worked out for me.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Escamillo, yeah. Obviously... eskimio carmen had a previous thing and this don jose comes in uh or it a thing in the interim or a thing in between or before probably all of the above you know what i'm saying so then he's like i'm gonna use my bull fighting technique and he he holds up a red cape to don jose and he just like starts going in a rage and he's like
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
and he charges at him hands outstretched like this oh i'm gonna get you and then obviously you know goes out of the way it goes right out the window right off the cliff where the tavern is next to plummets a thousand and eighty six feet into the beach not the ocean slams dead
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
you know wade is how stories start to digress and bull man becomes the minotaur walked into this bar my children's children it'll be like the bullfrog loved carmonda bullfront tried to buy a car but it was in germany being made oh man my car man uh it's awful that's when donald duck got involved now i just want to hear donald duck singing in an opera
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
It's a real bummer. And I don't know this opera, but I have a funny feeling I'm going to be very correct on this one. Don Jose... flying in a fit of rage, lunges at Carmen, hands outstretched like this, and kills her. What's Act 4 going to be?
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I'm just trying to think of what's the most dramatic thing possible in this situation.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
And then... And then, using his bullfighting magic, Esquimio sees what's going on in the stands because he's obviously fighting right now. And he, using a mixture of that big red cape and kung fu, diverts the bull to aim directly towards Don Jose, sending that bull flying 38 feet in the air in a parabolic arc to slam right into Don Jose and kill him instantly. The bull has its hands outstretched.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Listen, let's not be ridiculous. I'm okay with a bull sprouting hands with full fingers, but you put a Kamehameha in there, that's silly.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I had to stop. You had to stop. I couldn't do it. I had to stop. I had to stop. I couldn't do it. I have a very bony protrusion of my whatever this is. you know okay look it looks really small right now in the camera but i'm telling you it's huge it's massive oh no i got it right there yeah it's bony the point there there it is look look there it is that's where that's where the protrusion is
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Was that the song? Is that what the translation? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I'm not gonna lie, guys. Seems like a bummer.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
don't buy don't look into the fact i'm trying to convince you so aggressively it's a real thing totally a thing not just made up is it real or am i lying to you well i mean all the extra convincing i'm i'm leaning towards real but now i'm like man that would be a clever ploy yeah i'm i'm uh i'm a good liar let's remember that somehow convince the entire audience that you're the nice one
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Thought he'd have a nosier name. Like, if your whole life has been about, I'm gonna, my dream, my dream is to make this nose opera. It's like, that's gotta have a deep-seated root in childhood.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
No. Yeah. So I have this, this mat it's from, I broke my, uh, my arm here on this bone. So they had a rod going in through this end here. And I think it's made it, um, a bit more prominent. You can't really see, but there's a tiny scar right there where a rod was stuck all the way through. So it's like, I feel like something's not quite right up in here.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
balls dancing on stage he also only has one song for all his operas all operas are actually the exact same piece of music i got my nose back no he didn't get his nose back is it like the book where the bear lost its hat and then finally he's like where's my hat and then there's that really scary part in the middle of the opera where he's like i've seen my nose and then he goes kills a fish that book's terrifying
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
this is just a really shitty modern adaptation of carmen this is fake it's a wait what your opinion is that this is a real thing that happened and it exists so it's fake yeah got it okay i think it's a really shitty modern adaptation of mulan and it's fake
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Bra. This song is on fleek. I can feel my subscribers oozing out of my channel right now.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
So every time I wear the wristwatch, it either has to be forward of this bump or behind this bump, uh, and if it's forward, it cuts off circulation in my hand. If it's behind, it doesn't read anything right for heart rate and stuff, so I think it's just not in the cards for me. You could switch to your other arm.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
At this point, he's actively harming this podcast. He's actively harming it. So what do we do? Kill me. The audience lunge at him, hands outstretched.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
fake an opera with only one character i don't think so i don't think so i probably i have no idea i mean there are other characters but no there are no other characters i'm likely losing so i'm gonna say real because i just need the points i love this for you that one's fake
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
You know, if this is not real, I want it to be real. Because that sounds awesome. Man, I don't know. Wade, you go. I'll say real again. Wade says real. All right. I'm covering the spread fake, but I wish it was real.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I've tried that, but because I'm right-handed, if I'm typing or using a mouse, I can't deal with sliding a watch band all over the desk because I do everything on the computer with the mouse. With the left hand and the keyboard, it's fine because I usually have a wrist rest, but for that, I can't deal with the balance shift. I've tried it, though. It's just not for me.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
It sounds really good, though, right? Wait, did you not get one? You didn't get one, did you? Thanks, man, for pointing that out. I appreciate that.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
All right. Oh, hold on. What side of the phone is heads? I'm assuming the face is the heads.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I got tails. Tails. I totally flubbed it. I have to flip again. Oh, don't get tails.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Oh, God. It's on the floor right now. Dramatic reveal. It's tails.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I want the Apple choker, you know? When do they get the Apple shock collar?
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I don't think all the wheel spins of the world are going to bring you back from that one.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Do they have a garter belt size Apple Watch band that I could wear up on my upper thigh?
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
And it usually is obvious when one of us does, because usually it's Wade going... Yeah.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I thought I whipped my neck really hard. I think they're going to eventually come out with ones where you have a sensor in like the AirPods because you can get a good heartbeat from your ears and temperature from your ears. So I imagine. And if they conduct a current between your ears to get your heartbeat for your sinus rhythm, I bet that'll be really good.
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
It's not quite as crushing a victory in terms of proportion as you had of Wade in the last episode, but that's only because he had two, and you had five, I think. So actually, it's only two and a half times more than he had, so.
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Anyway, Mark, winner speech? Well, much like the Grinch, my balls grew three sizes this day for my victory. I'm so grateful for literally just coasting my way to the finish line. My opponent was... trying so hard every step of the way, but he was just driving his feet deeper into the potholes every time, tripping himself up, shitting down his own pants, pissing on his own legs.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Shouldn't have got the apple cock ring. The apple choker's the way to go. Thanks for this amazing victory.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
The heartbeat comes from the brain anyway. It's all up here. Go to the source.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
You see my dilemma, Bob, where I was just adding, subtracting, adding, subtracting points, subtract, add.
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Okay, so have you guys ever had to guide a truck backing into something? Yeah, you're going like this, and then when you have a certain amount of space, you hold your hands out of the amount of space they have left, and you do this, and then you eventually go like this, right? Sure, sure. Does that mean they crossed the threshold?
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
you're close that must be that must be what this guy thought because the prusa shipment arrived and i was this guy was backing up so i was like i was like this you have this and then i go all right this and he kept going and i go and he goes until he hears a clunk push forward and i'm desperately just like i can't run to the front of the truck to try to tell him like what i'm doing i'm just looking in the
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
this one didn't need to because it's not a real loading dock and it's not a real like semi right sure so he he's he does this runs into it three times pulls forward and i think he's coming out to talk to me probably yell at me if my instructions are bad or something but no he goes like i forgot and then he lowers the actual lift gate because it's a box truck with a lift gate right ivan drago you're delivering
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Yeah, he drops it down. He was not talking to me at all. He had AirPods in and he was talking to someone else the entire time. So he drops the liftgate and then lifts it back up and then backs up again because he completely forgot that he needed to have that open and up so he could back in. It's not a real... An actual loading dock would be a full-size truck. It's just a knee-high gap.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
So he's just... and i'm just looking at like a little buff out but i got the printers so all 567 kilograms of the printers uh came in it was not me that needed to pay the uh storage fees for the shipment after it arrived I don't know why FedEx just ate that cost, but they haven't talked to me about it, so I'm assuming I'm in the clear. Seems like bad business on their part.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I'm sure it works fine, and it's definitely not something to do with random budget cuts happening.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Did you see that the Switch 2 pre-orders got delayed because of the tariffs?
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I think so, yeah. But it could be, I just saw that it wasn't actually confirmed.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
That's what I say, but I get it. I've made this argument before about inflation and whatnot.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
I know! You're so not getting a car, man. You're so not getting a car.
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Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
You can probably find another one of those. How hard is it? Mark, I need you to buy Big Boat. Why do I gotta buy it? Why am I being the Big Boat?
Distractible
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
All right, listen up, big bug companies. You know who I am. Markiplier, send me a boat right now or I'll destroy your reputation forever.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
This episode of Distractable is brought to you by Doom the Dark Ages. Id Software presents Doom the Dark Ages, a dark fantasy sci-fi experience that brings epic combat and over-the-top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise. Dominate demon-infested battlefields with devastating weapons, soar on a mecha dragon, and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Someone else will pick me. I want to. But also, if you're literally like one of the best in the country, It's not a guarantee, but kind of, it was a guarantee, right? Like, he is an NFL caliber player. He, at the very least, is going to go and try and play in the NFL and see if he can make a career.
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Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
This is the only place you need to be ever and forever. All those other podcasts, they're... Horrible people. Yeah.
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Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Or do I have to Browns? Because... Browns and the Jets are the two places quarterbacks go to die but I mean like I get it and it's just wild it's a crazy story it does seem like they were all like fuck that kid don't pick him even if we should he was projected a top like 5 pick and he was like the 6th or 7th quarterback taken and the second one the Browns took really weird situation
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Yeah, that's strange. Mark, you know all about this from your hit podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're a big sports podcast guy, right? So I'm sure you already talked hours and hours about the draft. Oh, yeah. It's really sad, though, because every other player who got drafted, like the entire draft, was like... Well, we thought Shador Sanders might go here.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Like the first overall pick got no coverage because the second overall pick, the Browns traded. So literally like these kids are having their moment that they've waited their whole life for. And they're like, uh, Cam, trade, trade, trade. Oh my God. Is Shador Sanders going to Jacksonville trade for Shador Sanders? What? Oh, they didn't take Shador Sanders. They took whatever his name is.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
We're the only good ones. Yeah. The only ones. Anyway, the other good ones here are Bob and Wade. Tell them how good you are. I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. Hello. All right, I'll go away. I'm better than both of you, which means I'm the best person on Earth, according to our rules. Because we're all better than all of the rest of them.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Number three, it's got to be Shador Sanders. All the way to pick 165. With the sixth pick in the draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars have selected...
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
We'll get to him. We'll get to him. That's what it was like. Like you could see some of the people like they're like side eye. Like a pick will be named. They'll be like, it's still not Shador Sanders. Do we talk about Shador Sanders? You know what we should do? Make every pick feel like they're not Shador Sanders. So it's like the first 165 dudes taken. It's like, eh, it's not Shador Sanders.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Whatever. We should move on. Well, I think that's factually accurate. They should have been Shadur Sanders if they wanted to be Shadur Sanders. I feel like I'm saying his name wrong the more I say it. I feel like I am too, but I don't know. Mr. Sanders. He's an adult now. He's an NFL player. I'll call him Mr. Anyway, thanks for tuning in to our sports podcast, everyone.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Yeah, everybody here loves sports, right? Equally. Oh, absolutely. I can't believe how many points Mark must have just frantically scribbled down with all the sports discussion. I was just... Oh man, I'm gonna need a new pen nib here. I feel like he was probably like, that's what Tyler was talking about. No, I wasn't that either. I am on a sports podcast. I forgot about it. I know this one.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I don't know this one. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. You know what I got off of Amazon that is actually a crucial component of this show? My coin that I can never remember which side is heads and which side is tails. Well, it's not just about products. Sometimes it's about shows. And Amazon Prime also comes with Prime Video.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to amazon.com slash prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes. Now, it's time for the main event. Boys, are you ready for Mark's Big Dumb Word Game? Yes! Oh, fuck.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I need like a buzzer sound. I forgot I was going to get that. Damn it. Hold on. Keep talking about sports. Keep it up. Yeah. Shout out to the other 165 of you. Scataboo got drafted. Scataboo, great name. Fun to watch. He was good too. I don't know if he had injury concerns.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
also it's every year there's a guy who's picked last and it's usually pretty nice because if you're picked last it means you were like oh I don't even know like I hope I get drafted but they had a video of the guy who got picked last this year was so sweet he had his whole family they were just like sitting in the family kitchen and his I think it was Pittsburgh picked him and his name came up and they were all just like it happened and everyone cried what's his face Brock Purdy was the last pick he's like the only last pick to become like Brock Purdy
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
We're making some sweeping generalizations to start today, and I'm here for it. I mean, everyone's going to start a podcast eventually, so, you know. There's only three guys who form a podcast. Everyone is either already a podcast-er or just a podcast-er waiting. It's all linguine, glasses guy, and mustache man. We know those three. Mm-hmm. Yep.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Moderately successful. Yeah, I think I think I could be wrong about that. But as far as I remember, what do they call it? Last pick is Mr. Irrelevant or is that like the last pick quarterback? Mr. Irrelevant is just the last pick. You know what? He's relevant enough. He's a football player now. No one else can suck it. I might have to have the editors put something in because I'm not sure.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Can you guys hear any of this? No. Damn it. Okay. I'll just say it with my mouth. All right. Buzz! You should get an app for your phone and then... Oh, that'd be smart. Why didn't I do that? I have one. Do you guys ever just get the song My Ding-a-ling? Chuck Berry gets stuck in your head? No, but I'm familiar with the song and it sounds quite funny.
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Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
My grandparents had it on like... They had like a big jukebox, like an actual jukebox that would like pick up... Like that played 45s and stuff? Yeah. Damn, that's pretty cool. They had Monster Mash and... Whatever that song's called. Probably Bread and Butter or Toast and Jam or something. They had other songs too, but those are the three I remember. And for some reason today... My ding-a-ling.
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Stop talking about your ding-a-ling. Stop. Why would pressing it again not stop it? Does it just play until it's over and there's no way to stop it? Yeah. And this is a long... Why is this so long? If it gives you any consolation, we can't hear that either. It was so long. Anyway. Oh, Buzz! I need you, Cecil! What? Is this all one sound? What's happening? No, this is different sounds. Oh, okay.
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Okay, there we go, okay. Alright, uh, there- I forgot this soundboard that I have is the meme soundboard, and I don't even know what the fuck. I'm just gonna go with gong. Okay, welcome to Mark's Big Dumb Word Game! Alright. This needs a moderate amount of explanation. Don't worry. The ultimate perfect crime is coming. I gotta work on it. I just gotta work on it a little longer.
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It's gonna be perfect. It's gonna be great. All the other versions were terrible. Awful. Horrible even. But the next one is going to be the ultimate. But anyway, this is Mark's Big Dumb Word Game, how it's going to work. I'm going to give you a sentence, a short sentence that is a memorable quote that you guys have probably heard before.
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But how it's going to work is I'm going to give you a sentence. One of you is going to start. You have two options. change one of the words in the sentence to something that it rhymes with, or add another word, but it has to be in between the other words, not at the beginning, not at the end. So, for example, fee-fi-fo-fum. Then one of you would say, fee-fi-fo-dumb. Fee-fi-so-dumb.
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what the change was that the other person did and then build the sentence longer and longer until one of you messes up whoever doesn't mess up gets a point whoever is the cleverest little boy wins and will win overall it's a very simple game but it needs you to use your big big brain pay attention and use memory two of my biggest weaknesses yeah additional rules don't repeat any words all these sentences
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Except for words like subject words, some of them have more than one I or me. But if it already has more than one word in it in the sentence, don't add that same word. So let's just say it can't have any word that was originally there and it can't have any of the additions can't be repeat additions. But I will accept fuck, fucking, I'll accept variations to some degree.
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Anyway, in this podcast, we're going to play a fun little game. Every episode's different because every episode we, for some reason, decided that we all need to... Sorry. Let me clear my throat. For some reason, we decided that every episode we need to do something different, including a different person hosting. So this week I've come up with a fun game.
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We might change that rule on the fly, but I want to give you some flexibility. But it has to be real words. It can't just be splurb. You're putting that rule in there for Mark. It's very, it's going to be very simple. I totally understand what's about to start happening to us. I'm glad. All right. Heads, weight goes first. Build up. Boop. Oh, fucking Christ. That looks like tails, I think.
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Yeah, that's tails. All right. It's a good thing I understand. All right, so this is going to be so simple. I give you the sentence. You either add a word in between... Change a word in there to one that rhymes. And you can change the words that were added as well, if you so choose. The world inside that sentence is your oyster. Are you ready? Yes. Here we go. To infinity and beyond!
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Bending the rules on the very first one. That was two words. Fine. You want me to start over? You want me to change my tact? No. Yes. Yes. I think I have to be like, cause it can't change on the very first one. It's gotta be one at a time. Well, I just had the same idea, but it was two different words I was going to add. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Processing the rules, processing the rules.
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Hang on, hang on. Oh, this is his payback for two sentence horror stories, isn't it? Go to... No, it can't be at the beginning. Hang on, there's so many rules. I didn't think it would be this hard. How's it feel being on the other side of this, Mark? I don't know. I'll see where it goes. How many scary tapes you gonna bust out? To infinity, bath and beyond. To infinity, bath sand beyond.
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to infinity bath sand volleyball and beyond i think you added another and in there i think but yeah bath sand volleyball beyond he changed and to sand oh he got rid of and to infinity sand and beyond Bath is still in there. To infinity, bath, sand, and beyond. To infinity, bath, sand, volleyball, beyond would be what you said.
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All right, Bob, you lose. I did that on purpose so we could learn. Yeah, that was a practice round. That was worth a point. So not a practice round at all. All right.
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It's fair. It's so simple. You change a word to one that rhymes or add another word in between. That's it. One at a time. Super easy, right? Yes. Feed me another quote, Papa. Wade, all for one and one for all. All for one and one for ball. All for one and fun for ball. All for one and fun for big ball. All for one and small fun for big ball. Yes.
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But before we do that, it's everyone's favorite part of the podcast. Small talk.
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Wait, was that right? That was just the same sentence, wasn't it? I said tall for one at the start. I thought we couldn't change the very start or the very end. No, you can change the first or end word. You just can't. You can't add a word to the start or end. Oh, okay, okay. Wait, no, but then you got it right. So I was wrong there. Bob, go. Tall bald for fun and small fun for big ball.
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I'm going to also extend small talk out to things going on in the world that you like. That could also be a thing. I have a question for you. Is that supposed to be something I'm aware of? Things going on in the world that I like? Or is that an optional kind of thing? Wade, I liked you sucking back your question. That was pretty good. Thank you. Suck it back in? I tried. Really?
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You got this. I believe in you. Wait, that's what I say to you. Wait, hey, you can't do that. That's my bit. No, don't do that.
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Hey, stop. Are you ready? You ready? Okay. All right. I came, I saw, I conquered. I came, I saw come, I conquered. I came, I saw bum, I conquered. I came, I saw crumbs, I conquered.
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He's got to pick your angles. Rosa Sharn, you're tearing this family apart. All right, Bob, you're up first, I think. Wade is. Wade, you're up. Yes. Wade, I think, therefore I am. I think sometimes, therefore I am. I stink sometimes, therefore I am. I drink sometimes. Therefore, I am. I drink... Nope, wait, hang on. That's two words again. I'm bending the rules. I'm bending the rules everywhere.
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That was my new sentence. I'm going to give you one last chance. I drink sometimes a lot, therefore I am. A lot can be one word, I think, sometimes. Oh, there's a space in there, but that's like one word, right? I think that qualifies. I drink sometimes a lot, therefore I spam. I drink sometimes a lot, therefore I eat spam. I drink sometimes a lot, slowly, therefore I eat spam.
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Hey, if you're going to throw random bullshit in there, I'm going to go on the offense. That's the problem with random bullshit.
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You can throw logical bullshit. It's easier to remember that way.
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I'm trying to build with you here. I'm working. I'm interested in collaborating. You're just going straight into making it difficult for me. And I'm not going to just lay back and take it. I'm making it difficult for both of us. My brain says yes and I and. Or my brain says something and I yes and. All right. I think you both have it now, so I'm going to take the training wheels off.
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He sucked it back in. I saw it. I just want you to know, Wade, I saw it. He did. That's what happened. I do think sometimes I expect just like the listeners or the watchers to pick up on.
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From now on, if anyone makes any kind of error or if you take too long, I'll ring the gong. All right. No gong. All right. This one's a little longer. They're not all going to be, but I think you're up to the challenge. I'm up first now? Yep. Yeah. Okay. I'll huff. I'll puff. I'll blow your house down. I'll huff. I'll puff. I'll blow your little house down. I'll huff. I'll snuff.
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I'll blow your little house down. I'll bluff. I'll snuff. I'll blow your little house down. I'll bluff. I'll slowly snuff. I'll blow your little house down.
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I'll blow your little house down. I'll quickly bluff. I'll slowly snuff. I'll blow your little red house down.
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No, that wouldn't be the same word. There's so many rules here. Alright, Bob is tearing away with it. I know my limit. I get to a limit and I'm like, nope, Rayden can't.
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I can't help it. All right, Wade, here's your chance at redemption. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Lashes to ashes, dust to dust. Lashes to... Flashes, dust to dust. Gashes to flashes, dust to dust. Gashes to bashes, dust to dust. Gashes to bashes, must to dust. Gashes to bashes, must to trust. Gashes to bashes, must to... Big trust. Almost just said the same exact thing. Gashes to little bashes.
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I noticed it. Thank you. All right. Anyway, are you going first, Wade? Yes. Very confident. I am going first because I want to know, what do you guys think the best month is? I was talking to Molly yesterday and she's like, I think April is one of the best months. And I was like, you can't really swim during April.
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Must to big trust. Trashes to little gashes. Dust to little trust. Well, it wasn't. Wait, it was. No. Yeah, that's wrong. Gust to must. Bashes was the second one. I think, you know, I think, Wade, you just need to get a hang of it. You're doing so okay. You're so close, buddy. You're getting there. I was like, I'll just play the rhyming game with Bob. And then we said so many words.
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Okay, let's do something other than like the... Alright, here we go. Who's first? I'm first. Yeah, you're first. You can't handle the truth. You can't handle my truth. You can't handle thigh truth. You can't handle fried truth. You can't handle fried Ruth. You can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, Bob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. Do I have to say my name there then? Yeah? Yeah, I think so.
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You, slob, can't handle deep-fried Ruth. You, throb, can't handle deep-fried Ruth. You, mob, can't handle deep-fried Ruth. You, cob, can't handle deep-fried Ruth. You... Rob can't handle deep-fried Ruth. Didn't he just say... He said throb. He said throb, I think. And we have said Bob. Rob is different. You, knob, can't handle deep-fried Ruth. You, little knob, can't handle deep-fried Ruth.
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glob can't handle deep fried roof you little fucking shit glob can't handle deep fried roof you little fucking shit glob can't handle deep fried paper roof you little fucking shit knob can't handle deep fried paper wrapped roof you little fucking shit knob can't handle deep fried
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It's kind of like the rainy, like, but it's kind of like the most hopeful month, at least in Cincinnati, as far as like, Finally winters behind us things are starting to bloom. It's like the ah, we're moving it. We're transitioning into nicer weather So it's like I can't really think of a more hopeful month.
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Also, I think there was some glob knob mixup. Yeah, I made it glob.
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Yeah, if I don't catch it, I don't think I can count it unless you do some kind of coin. I'm saving that for later. I'm going to need it. I'll get my coin out just in case. Okay, all right. Man, Bob, you're running away with this. Wade, here's yours.
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Houston, we have a big problem. houston we have a big space problem houston we have a big race problem Houston, we have a big grace problem. Houston, we have a big lace problem. Houston, we have a big mace problem. Houston, we have a big trace problem. Houston, we have a big trace elements problem. Houston, we have a pig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a rig trace elements problem.
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Houston, we have a fig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a Fig Newton trace elements problem. Houston, we have a Fig Juice Newton trace elements problem.
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It's a singer. She does Angel of the Morning, which is the opener to Deadpool. I could have sworn, did he add two words that time? No, he just added a really weird word. Okay, all right, okay, all right. Okay, I'll let it slide. Houston... We have a fig juice box Newton trace element problem. Houston, bro, we have a fig juice box Newton trace element problem.
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Houston, bro, fucking, we have a big fig juice box Newton trace elements problem.
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No, sorry, it's a big fig. Why didn't you catch it when Bob said big? No, you needed big and fig, you just said big. I thought we changed big to fig. Did we? Am I wrong? Bob, am I wrong?
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I don't know if it's the best month We are at the end of april, but i'm like, I don't know I really enjoy it's my birth month and I think i'm a gift to this world So therefore I do think april's probably the best but sure sure I don't know of a month that gives me more hope but I don't know if it's my favorite month as far as the season I like having pool and boat but april's the transition to get there.
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I'll take the L. Give it to me. I think you added one because you said Houston. Little bro.
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Doom the Dark Age is available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Rated M for Mature.
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We thought you were trying to earn zero points on the whole episode. I know whenever I'm beat and this one is beating my ass. All right, I'm going to change one rule because I also had an idea to do it differently. Save that for the more perfect or three words. All right, what we're going to do is we're going to do this again, same way that we have been doing, except we can't replace words.
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So we can't replace words anymore. It's just inserting words in between the original quote. So now you don't have to worry about the words shifting. You have the pillars of those words, right? I'm going to try this variation because I wanted to try it and see if that might make it all work a little better because even I can't keep track of this shit. All right, Bob, I think you're up now.
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This is topical because Oblivion just came out, the remaster. I haven't played it, but it just came out. What a long quote. This is very topical because Oblivion just came out. The remaster. I haven't played it, but it just came out. Wade. Oh, you didn't insert a word. Dong. I said very. I said very. No, no, we're not going to do that. I'll take my L. This is me. Hello, I'm L-Boy. Bob.
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Stop right there, criminal scum. Stop right there, you criminal scum. Stop right there, you fucking criminal scum. Stop right there, you fucking terrible criminal scum. Stop right there, you fucking terrible smelly criminal scum. You stop right there, you fucking terrible smelly criminal scum. Oh, wait. Was that against the rules? Oh, wait. Ding dong. Yeah. Same word. You're right.
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Also, it was added at the beginning. There were two violations. Oh, that was double violation. Oh, that's true. That's true. You stop right there. We'll have to get an independent judge panel to review this session. I'm trying to pay attention. I'm just enjoying it so much. All right. Okay. Wade, you got a point. There can be miracles when you believe. Wait. Live fast, die young.
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Live fast or die young. Live fast and or die young. Live fast and or you'll die young. Live fast and shit or you'll die young.
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live fucking fast and or shit you'll die young nope and shit or and shit or fuck your fuck up turned into my fuck up mine wasn't a fuck up it was just a pause should i should i enforce the pauses no we need those i don't i can't remove pauses no i meant like you have to keep the pause in next time you quote it you have to keep the same delivery oh All right, a new rule.
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Hmm I don't think it's April, but not for any particular reason because... I agree, sir.
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He said fucking, and we're no longer replacing words. Another stinking fucking day.
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I'm really struggling today. I can't even honestly tell if I'm doing good or bad except when Mark cuts in. Stop it. Oh, man, you're doing so good. I really appreciate you guys here. This game is very fun for me. I know what my one-man show will be inevitably when I get it one day. Just this for a fucking hour. All right, wait. Here, you can do this one. Yeah, I'm ready. Run, Forrest, run.
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You little shit-ass! Run! Did he add something to that? Wait. Yeah, little, little, little shit-ass. No, I added little. Wait. Motherfucking. That's it. Oh, okay. Motherfucking.
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Also, I said you little shit. Wasn't it just little shitass? I don't know. Toss the corks. I didn't catch them.
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you're lucky i don't take a point for that all right but no i i've never really thought about what's the best month december i guess maybe no no god that was so stupid december what's wrong with me yeah we all love christmas yeah i don't know i don't know i i can't think of any there's no you can't remember any other months No, I can't think of any, but that would be my favorite or why.
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No, I don't think any of them have been actually all the way right. Yeah, not quite. But it'll be whatever gets caught. Alright, I love the building. The impressions. Let's keep that in there. Yeah, that's what we need. But instead of the global Christopher Walken thing, instead of following what was there at the beginning, you have to follow what your opponent just did.
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all right okay all right we got time we got time for a little more oh good i'm having the time of my life My nails are chewing themselves. I'm gonna put another rule that you can't put just curse words in there, but I still like that one. Alright, here we go. Speak now, or forever hold your peace. Speak right now, or forever hold your peace. Speak right now, or forever hold your big peace.
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I sure did. You speak right fucking now or forever hold your big... Man, I forget. But man, I'm going to start penalizing if you don't... If you say the same... Add the same words every single round. Well, it's too late because we're at the end of the episode, bitch. Nope. One more. Come on. Damn it! Come on, come on, one more.
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One more. Alright, this will be easy. Oh, okay. Alright, stop, drop, and roll.
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Okay, you messed it up anyway. I was like, alright, we'll call it there. Okay. I thought you were going to take that one and just be like, keep going. Stop. Flop. Drop. And roll. That's what I was going to do. Stop. Mop. Flop. Drop. And roll. Screep. But anyway, I like where he goes. Good job, guys. I like big fucking... Big fucking fast. I went slow. I went opposite. Oh, that's right.
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That's right. I loved that. Thank you guys so much. That was very funny. I could do that. I could listen to that all day. I couldn't do it all day, I'm sure, but I could listen to that all day. Very entertaining. All right, so I don't think the points are going to be any surprise. What does that mean? I was so funny. I had to have gotten some funny points. You got a funny point. Actually, you did.
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Wait, you got a point for a suck back question, which is like the mountain next to Brokeback Mountain. And you got best month question mark it was bad penis penis literally that's what's written there Beth bath sand beyond you got the first point you stop right there funny You got a funny point little shit-ass speak right fucking now Bob you like the correct season which is fall and
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You love Windows 11. Tall fun for big ball. I conquered fuck. I drink therefore I spam. I'll quickly snuff. Rust to bust. Little shit knob. Houston, bro. And shit or stinking fucking stop scream roll. This really tells the story of how we're... Houston, fucking bro. We got a fake juice box Newton trace element problem. All right, got bad.
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I'm going to tell you the score before we go into the wheel. Bob, you have 12. Wade, you have eight. Can we get a four on a D3? I think Wade has a couple options. We could either do a lot of bonus points or Wade could throw his fate to the mercy of the coins. I'm not even sure what you would throw.
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I barely keep track of the months as it is. I'm just kind of past this. How is it already almost May when we're recording this? It's already May when people are listening to it. It's gonna be May. Bob, what's your busy month? What was I asking? What's your favorite month?
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I was thinking to myself, I feel like there were a lot of judge misses today, which is pretty much equal on both of our sides, honestly. But unfair! All right, so what is the qualification here? Yeah, what's unfair? I should have 12. That's it. So we'd be tied at 12. Either I get 12 and we're tied or Bob gets double and has 24. I'm going to say this. I definitely made a lot of errors.
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If you get this right, if all of it comes up heads, it has to all come up heads. Oh, it will. I'll put you at 11, because let's say, I don't think we can say you gave a better performance, but I will say that there might have been some judge mishaps. If you get this all right, it'll go to 11. If you get it all wrong, you go to 7, because 7-11.
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I'll get a big slurp. All right, here we go. Oh, not mine. I got tails also. Oh. All right. Eight to 12. We could, I think we have to roll the points ceremoniously. Can you add like four points? Four points for Wade? Oh, let's put a jackpot. Let's put a jackpot. Oh, okay. Let's put a jackpot. Oh, yeah. All right. All right. What's the jackpot? Double your score. Double whose score?
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Whoever gets it. Oh, wait. You're right. Holy shit. God damn it.
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double the lowest score instead of jackpot make it sudden death ties it ties the score which could it presents some really interesting things if that comes up because then it could be the last one that gets spun then it's the wheel automatically uh the tie wheel or it could bring someone up to tie so then the next points could decide it oh god i can quit trying now that this is on the wheel all right the sudden sudden death has been added and we have
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oh boy three chances to tie it's the best outcome for wade all right listeners viewers and tie it up but that means they would tie with us you have a one in one in 33 chance of getting the everything's all tied up option that's basically one in three all right roll number one I forgot that was on the board. All right, Wade. Yeah.
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my busiest month yeah uh no my my favorite month is um i prefer the transition from hot to cold like coming out of winter is good and it's definitely the this this month we're in right now is usually in ohio the first month where you start to get some actually warm days out and it's nice But I love that first September day where the sun comes out in the morning and it's kind of warm.
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You lost the, you lost you, you lost your coin flip and there were some judging mishaps and you, you probably deserve the most sympathy. That's what I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. Oh, ah, there it is. We knew it was coming.
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They were due one. They were due one. We've been shitting on them a lot. They deserved a point. It's a listener kind of episode. Now tie it up, and then we have to add the viewers to the win wheel. Final spin? Yike! Oh yeah, that's true. If the listeners have points, the only way for the listeners to win is to get... Get a fucking nother one! Point for listeners! Alright! Should I re-spin that?
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Because normally I would turn and disable that, but like, what are the odds? 1 in 33. Alright. This is a real third spin. Point for... Oh, best looking. I need to shave my head. It's not me today. My hair is like pretty crazy. I don't know. I'm not... Get a good look at you guys. Alright. Well, this isn't winning anybody any points.
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I'm going to give a point to the viewers because they were looking the best. Because I couldn't decide which one of you more handsome. And you both look about the same level of put together. All right. Third time to spin. Let's give the wheel a third spin. A fifth third spin. There is technically a path for the viewers and listeners to win. It is very rare. It has to tie in.
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get them either another point after the tie. Well, they have to have a point first, get the tie, be put on the wheel for the tie wheel, and then hit it. That's how they win. Any episode, we could theoretically give them a point. So if the listeners get into the game and then it ties, they're on the tie wheel.
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If it ties and then the listeners get a point or viewers, they win because we are tied and they get one point. If they win, one of us three will host the next episode. We'll come up with something. We'll come up with something. All right. So at a whopping score of 12 to 9, Bob takes the win of Mark's big dumb... I should have predicted from big dumb word game. Mark's fucking big dumb work game.
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You can't put that in a title. Mark's fucking big fun word game. Wait, go. Mark's big fucking... Do you guys like the rhyming version or just adding words? I think the rhyming version added a lot more chaos because you have to then catch what changes more carefully. But I kind of liked the rhyming also because you could have more, you could do more funny shit with the rhyming.
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Some of those were harder to like be funny about just adding a word and not add big or small or fast or something. Just more adjectives. The hardest part was not being able to add anything at the start or the end. There were so many times I wanted to add something at the start or the end. I understand, but there has to be some containers. I think I like this. I would like to do it again.
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I'll wait a little bit. Next episode I host, I'll do the perfect crime. Thank God. Maybe a year. Give me some time. But thank you. All right, Bob, say your final words. This was fun. Honestly, the scoreboard doesn't reflect how close it was. Wade was really close. We both put up a good fight. I think he just blinked first a couple more times than I did, and it would have swayed the other way.
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The score made it look worse than it was. It was fun. You did really good, buddy. You should feel proud about that. Proud loser. Good job. All right, proud loser. What do you have to say? He had me in the first half, not going to lie, but then he had me in the second half. Good game. Well, thank you, boys. It was very fun for me, and I hope it was fun for everyone at home. Thank you so much.
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Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
If you're out in the sun, it's warm. But then as the afternoon breaks and it goes into evening, it cools off. And you get that cool, crisp... You know, you're out there like walking the dog or something and you're and you're just wearing like shorts and T-shirt and then you're just like, oh, it's chilly. And that that first those first days for me are like my favorite. I love the fall.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Hope you enjoyed it. And hey, we also had sports small talk, which doesn't happen too often. Bob will host something in the next episode. And Wade will win eventually. On my way. You have to at some point. Thank you, everyone at home. Be sure to follow the podcast, or else we'll come find you. And then you'll know every time that we have a new episode out, and you get to live a little longer.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
So that's pretty cool. So, thanks. And, um... We'll see you next episode. Podcast out.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I played a lot of fall sports. I was a big football guy growing up and stuff. So like that's connected to a lot of nostalgia for me also, I think. But yeah, favorite season for sure is fall. I love the fall transition. So I love like September, October. I think September's good because that's the month.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
August is very forgettable, but September at least is when you go, oh shit, I only have three and a half months until the end of the year. I gotta get my ass in gear. My resolution. My resolution. Oh god, I forgot my resolution. Maybe I can make it up. And then, you know, I think there's a lot of potential in September. And panic. Which always works. That's fair.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I like the transition to warm better, but I will give this knock to April. April is tax season. That's a pretty, like the first half of April. It's always bad. Other than my birthday, which is whatever religion you are, every God's gift to this planet, me. Otherwise, preparing for taxes and paying taxes is not the best thing. it's hard to complain what we do. Uh, we're, we're pretty lucky.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
And like, there aren't a lot of parts of this job that I would openly complain to other people about, but taxes, man, imagine you just get like a W two and you have like, maybe you have a retirement account or something. And that's like the craziest shit you have. God, do I miss, would that be nice? I'd file my own taxes so happily.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Pretty much all of the rest of this is, like, super fun, and I'm not at all about to complain about it. Tax withholding and benefits, two underrated things. Taxes really ruin April for me. I hate them. Can't disagree with that. I never really pay attention to taxes. I really hope my accountant is helping me on that, because if not, I am F-U-C-K-E-D fucked.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Meanwhile, your accountant's like, Mark, you owe this much. Like, triple what you actually owe. They're just taking one off to the Bahamas. Eh, whatever. You know, just take it. What? Can I be your accountant? Hold on.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
guys i have small talk so i am an iphone user and i have um almost all of my computing in my life is apple based so judge that how you might i'm not not remotely like an apple fanboy but i'm committed i've made my choice i live in the apple realm except for this setup that we're on right now because you You can't use Apple for, like, streaming.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
You can, but it's less convenient to use Apple for all the sort of stuff that we do, where it's like streaming and capturing and having a thousand things plugged into my USB ports and shit. I just have PCs.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I just literally, between recording episodes with you guys, stumbled upon a feature of Windows 11 that is the first thing I think I like about Windows 11, which is a piece of software called Microsoft Phone Link.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
It's literally still, like, syncing in the background. I have it up on this monitor over here, and it's, like, populating, and, you know, when you sync your phone to things, it, like, takes a while, right? It's slow. It's a Bluetooth... But literally, I can send a text to, well, already I'm seeing a problem because the group text isn't working. But I just sent Mark a text that says test.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
And I sent that by typing it into my computer. And it theoretically is going to send that to you from my phone through iMessage. I just did that from Windows. It's not a group text message. In our group text, you both are separate contacts on my message list in Windows, and so I can't text both of you at the same time. But I see all of the messages. You picked Mark because he's hosting. I get it.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
That's why. It's not a perfect system. It's just not like... I don't think Apple really endorsed this or whatever. But this is fucking awesome that I could just have this up and so like if Mandy texts or calls or if I get other notifications because it's showing me like I have email, I have whatever, a weather alert because it's a big ass storm outside right now. It's cool.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
That's one of my biggest gripes is when I use all my Apple stuff, all my shit is everywhere. If I'm on my MacBook, all of my phone notifications are there. I can use iMessage.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Some amount of work. Yeah, absolutely. I just this is not something that maybe anyone else gives very much of a shit about. But for me, this is one of my biggest gripes of like having to have PC and Mac things in my life. I'd rather just have all one.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
But now they're all connected dish connected enough that if I need to do something like tend to text from my computer while I'm doing something else.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
You remembered something! Sorry. You alright? Well, it's your turn. Go ahead. The NFL draft happened. Ooh, I wasn't watching because I assumed it would be bad. Was it bad for us? So it's too early to tell. Sounds like it was bad, Mark. I guess it was bad. What do I write about that, Bob? Too early to tell. What do I mark on his point scheme? It was bad! Exclamation point. Penis, penis.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Initial indications for the Bengals is... Well, what we really needed was a good offensive line. We did draft two guards. So I'm sure we drafted a lot of really good offensive linemen very early in the draft. We did draft two guards. I think like second and fourth round or third and fifth or something. I don't know. Not horrible.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I really honestly, but no, a lot of the picks could be great players, but also they're kind of like developmental for a team that needs to win. Now they're seen as like they could be great. They just need some time to develop. Rookies aren't exactly the solution to winning Super Bowls. That's probably a fair statement.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
we have the biggest swiss cheese of teams like you take a bite it's like this is good and then you take another bite it's like where's the cheese because it's full of holes that's what i think when i eat swiss where's all my cheese i'm just like when i bite air in the middle of my cheese i'm just like fuck it always gets me damn fucking swiss douchebags it's like the thong of cheeses there's a little bit of cheese and a lot of holes
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
what swiss cheese are you eating where it's just like a sponge but it's all whole theoretical swiss cheese if you turn it like in front of you at a certain angle it just disappears completely because it's just like come It's just Joe Burrow standing in a vast emptiness. That is usually his past protection. Damn that cheese. We could be good this year.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
We could be the same or we could be worse is how I feel about this year. It's a lot of could be's. Those are basically the three options. Yeah. If someone told me we were going to be any of those three, I would believe them because that's kind of how it's gone.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Thank you, Baltimore, for that incredible intro. You're a treasure. You the man. A beautiful soul, and we appreciate you. I'm looking off to the left, I'm assuming. I looked up toward the heavens because he is our god. I wouldn't dare to look at him. I know my place. My name is Markiplier. This is Distractible. You did find the right podcast. You don't need to look anywhere else.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
I don't know very much about it because I don't follow him, but since we're talking football, did you guys see, I assume Mark probably didn't, but did you see Shadur Sanders, son of Deion Sanders? I was going to bring that up. Who also, Deion Sanders is his coach, was his coach at Colorado. Shadur is a quarterback. Apparently he launched a brand of, I don't know, clothes or lifestyle, legendary.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
He launched a brand and he had a whole thing. It's common for guys who know they're going to get drafted to be like, get the family together and have a setup, right? Because they're likely to be filmed or whatever. It's a big deal to get drafted, especially if you get drafted early. Projected top five pick. Yeah. And so he had a room.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
He had a special room built, which was his picked early in the draft, going to be on this couch in this room with all my branding. And then he did get drafted, right? But he got drafted like fifth round or something, right?
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
day three fifth round he waited like 70 hours from when he thought he'd be paid i'm nothing personally against the dude i know his dad is you know quite the boastful egotistical man and i'm sure his son is similar and but he's a good football player as far as i know but man that's gotta be so fucking awkward i have a conspiracy theory about this
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
You got your own custom-built room, and you're like, when I get picked first, I'm going to be sitting... And then for two and a half days, you're like, all right, when I get picked... 167th I'm gonna be sitting on that couch This is the one guys like goddamn. He was the second quarterback taken by the Browns He got prank called by the son of like a Falcons defensive coordinator.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Oh, no So apparently like a 21 year old the son of the Falcons defensive. I think it's Falcons defensive coordinator Kirk if I'm wrong. Oh He saw like his dad's tablet and saw like Shador Sanders number on there. Took it was like, you know, be funny if I prank call him on his like, this is my I'm getting drafted cell phone and tell him he's getting drafted by the New Orleans Saints.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
We're picking you next. This is Gary Saints. Just want to let you know.
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
apparently the transcript he was like bro we're gonna be picking you soon bro it's like that sounds so much like the general manager of the saints would be talking it's weird because people with a lot more red like he has some red flags sure and he's not the best quarterback prospect we've ever seen but like he's good he's certainly good enough to be drafted i don't feel like he's not just drafted because he's deon sanders kid like it's good
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
He doesn't have like a huge arrest record. He doesn't have like a whole lot. He's got a bit of a ego and his dad's Deion Sanders, right? And maybe he doesn't have the strongest arm, but he's like a good quarterback. He should have been like a first, second rounder, most likely. Second round, I could see. He should have been a first or second rounder. I think...
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Because there was talk of Deion Sanders being like, I'm gonna step in, and if a team tries to draft my son that I don't like, we're gonna say no. We're gonna Eli Manning this shit. I think the NFL executives came together, like the team owners, and they were like... We all agree we're not taking fucking Sanders in the first like four rounds, right?
Distractible
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
No one's going to tell us ever again what team they're going to. We're not having this in our league. I think it was a conspiracy. I'm wearing my tinfoil hat. I think they agreed not to take him so that no one would ever have the balls to say they were going to try to dictate where they're going again like Eli did. As myself, I can't imagine getting drafted and then being like, not you.
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Our Shirts Are Out
It's a... I don't think we can mention that. I was going to say a fun non-wizard person. A funny non-wizarding person, but I don't think Harry Potter questions are kosher right now.
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Our Shirts Are Out
It means it's a tactic, right? So if you're unpopular, you might risk someone throwing an egg at you. Even in this economy. I mean, especially in this economy, they really hate you.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
So you learn to predict when a spherical white object is coming at you. Aim your head towards it. Unhinge your jaw. Relax your throat. And you take that egg. And you imbibe it.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
Yeah, but I don't have it right now. Balancing it on a fucking lens. It's fine. Don't worry about it. It's fine.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
I don't have it here. I don't know where it went. Oh, it keeps twisting. There we go.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
Oh, it's sopped. Bro, you soppin'? I've sopped past tense. You soap? Has been, no. You sup? You suppin' here? Supped. I supped. I supped.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
Okay. Incorrect, obviously. This is a tragedy of a word. A truly sad phrase. This is what happens when someone is so far down the rabbit hole of whippets that they can't even say the word anymore. And they're just like begging, please give me...
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
And I'm pretty sure that one is terrible. Absolutely brain cell destroying.
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Our Shirts Are Out
I don't know why they harvest the sadness clouds. Like, they should stop that. It's unethical. They get it by separating baby clouds from their parent clouds. They're just super sad.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
Okay, Mark. That's what I was going to say, but I'll come up with something different.
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Our Shirts Are Out
No, no. Hey, I'm not a one-trick pony. If you're getting owled, you're getting straight up railed, and you're just making owl noises. You're just getting owled.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
Okay, I got it. I got it. You're talking about your wingman from the night before was helping you out, went home with the friend who was playing defense and then fell in love, married, happily ever after. The bear got him. And then moist. What was the other half of that?
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Our Shirts Are Out
Mark, you're experiencing the greatest direction of your entire life.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
It's holding up a picture that's trypophobic to someone's and making them look at it. Or rubbing styrofoam. Yeah.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
Mark, you just had a lovely experience in the bedroom between the sheets.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
An enormous drop in price. And it has the same build volume. It's probably not as fast, but it's the same type of printer.
Distractible
Our Shirts Are Out
I do spend most of my small talk begging for things, and I don't get a lot. It doesn't work, guys. Why is it working?
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Okay, all right. i have something remember the segue right bob's segue that he made before do you remember what it was about i think it was mine no it's under bob all right i'm gonna i'm blaze you tell me if you hear it isn't something smell a little off to you it's too loud it's a little loud but yeah i do hear it back up pretend you didn't hear that All right, here we go. Ready? Are you ready?
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Mark Prepared For This
No, don't do it again. Isn't something smelling off to you? Hey, do you smell something? Well, that's a weird smell. I don't know what it is.
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Mark Prepared For This
So, when I told you I was late because I was working on a thing. Mark, it's so good.
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Mark Prepared For This
Sorry it was so loud. I tried to do a hack to get it to play for you guys.
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Mark Prepared For This
This will be a funny way to do it because I haven't done one of these in a while. And I had a bunch of problems with the software because I haven't done it on this computer in a while. And so I had to reinstall DaVinci and all my software, so... Anyway, did you... That admission actually gave me a headache.
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Mark Prepared For This
No, I wanted... Because I wanted it to be a small anecdote because it was off of the people that were talking about, you know... Because I got lead-free bullets, right? And there were some people that were still very flippant about it. Right? Some people were just like, I think the Californian got to him free to lead. So what I want to talk... What I want to do first is I have...
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Mark Prepared For This
There's a couple points up for grabs, and I'm going to ask you two a few questions back to back. All right, Wade. How much lead do you think is in the human body naturally, as in used in biological processes or in proteins or things like that? Oh, a nanofoot?
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Mark Prepared For This
Zero. Zero lead is used in any biological process in the human body at all. It is not found in any protein. It's not found in any cell structure naturally occurring. It's found in the human body, but just because of environmental exposure.
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Mark Prepared For This
I'm giving you a point, but I'm not. You don't want that talc foot. All right. Okay. So you both got that wrong. Bob, I'm going to ask you this. How many mammals do you think are out there that use lead in any biological process in any part of their body?
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
The whale. No. Doesn't tie there. Okay. This is a mammal, yeah. Okay, so zero mammals. All right, cool. Yeah, there is no mammal out there from the tiniest mouse to the biggest elephant that uses lead in any biological function in any way, shape, or form. Okay?
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Wade, how many living things on this planet, from bacteria to anything else floating around, fungus, plant life, anything, uses lead in any biological process in their body? Zero. Zero. There is not a living thing that is by the definition of living on this planet that uses lead in any biological process. Therefore, that's what nature thinks... of lead, because lead in any amount is toxic.
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Mark Prepared For This
This is not hearsay. This is fact. Lead is toxic in any amount because it interferes with biological processes. It mimics calcium. So your body absorbs it, goes into the blood brain barrier. There is nothing
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
nothing that wants lead there's lead resistant like bacteria out there there's lead accumulating things that will draw it in more than other things but there's no actual living thing out there that uses lead for anything in this cellular life that we have So what I'm trying to say about that is people seem to have this misconception about lead in that there's an okay amount to have.
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Mark Prepared For This
There's a, it's all right. And yes, we are completely exposed to it because of the industrial society that we live in, because of mining, incidental things get in the water. And yes, we are all still alive, even if we have a small amount of lead in there. But people who are talking about shooting don't realize that there is not just lead in the bullet. It's not about the lead in the bullet.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
There is lead in the primer. Lead, I think it's called lead staph, staph, staphonate? Is this entire episode just to get back at the gun people who told you to get lead bullets? No, this was supposed to be a small talk thing. The rest of the episode, I have no fucking idea what I'm going to pull out of my ass for. But I want to reiterate that this is not a casual thing.
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Mark Prepared For This
And there is, with modern primers that don't have lead in it and modern bullets that aren't lead-based, yes, it's a little more expensive. But also, there are advances in these things that get them better. And when you fire a bullet, the primer, which is like either in a rimfire, it's around the rim, or if it's centerfire, it's in the center primer thing. That lead...
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
goes into the air because it's combusted into its gaseous form. And so you have lead in every single shot. And yes, if you have a lead-exposed bullet, the heat will melt some of it and cause some vapor. The vast majority of it is from the primer. But both are not good. Lead just isn't good.
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Mark Prepared For This
And it's especially bad for children whose brains are still developing, whose bodies are still developing, whose systems are still developing and growing. Lead gets in the system. It can leach into your bones because it mimics calcium. It will eventually, if you get exposed to it for a long enough period of time, your bones will start to absorb the lead.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
It's just on my desk now. It's not serving any purpose except being on my desk.
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Mark Prepared For This
And it will then leach into your body throughout the entirety of the time that your bones... Wolverine. No.
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Mark Prepared For This
Heavy bones, but really malleable. It's good stuff. Yeah, I just want to say very clearly that I'm not California crazy just because I don't like lead. Lead is pretty much universally understood by most of the scientific community as not good to have around. There used to be leaded gasoline. Why do you think it all says unleaded now? Now, hold on. I think we withdrew from the scientific community.
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Mark Prepared For This
lead fools anyway that's that's all i wanted to say about that is like lead is actually bad it's not a political statement to say lead there's no manliness from firing lead bullets it's not it's not it's not about that well there is because grandpappy told me there is you're right grandpappy i did a search mark and not to contradict you but it seems like lead is malleable and resistant to corrosion otherwise not good for anything so i think i'm corroborating you
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Yeah, we're going. this is like the weirdest snl cold open that's ever happened anyway hi you've been listening for a little bit but welcome to distractible this is the podcast that you love or else you're gonna get a face full of this just like me and my 22 it's very threatening and deadly i don't know i i swear to god people who are into guns just selectively hear things because that on on the
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Mark Prepared For This
And yeah, it's there are still many pipes to this day in America and throughout the world that are lead. And in America, you saw it in Flint, Michigan. Well, they had other problems, too. But one of it was, yeah, there was lead in the pipes.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Which is also bad. That's also an element that is not found in any biological process. That just happens to be worse than lead.
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Mark Prepared For This
You know, it does have the coolest name. Quicksilver is a really cool name for something, but also coolness shouldn't factor in for anyone that's unconvinced about lead and its dangers. My God, there were people saying like, I've been a firearm instructor for 20 years or something. And I'm like, get a blood test. Get tested! Like, it's a simple blood test to see how much lead is in your body.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Yes, there is a chelation therapy that can get the lead out of your body, and yes, it can cause permanent damage, but it's kind of an insidious thing where it causes neurological damage over a long period of time. It's like a frog in a pot of boiling water. You won't notice it until it's suddenly a big problem.
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Mark Prepared For This
So keeping track of that stuff and using lead-free primers, I feel, is a perfectly valid thing to want. And stop drinking that. There's probably lead in there.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Anyway. Oh, one more thing. For all the manly men who are like, I want my lead. It tanks everything. your reproductive functions your testosterone plummets from high lead exposure and then when you shoot and you don't properly clean your hands because someone said lead wipes i actually already bought lead wipes a while ago but yes there are lead specific wipes don't use wipes made of lead oh no
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Mark Prepared For This
It sharpens them. I love self-sharpening wipes. Anyway, alright, that's all I'll say about that.
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Mark Prepared For This
Disclaimer, I have not personally checked every living being in the world for lead in their biological processes. It is totally plausible that there is some bacteria or some tree somewhere that has a very unique structure that does use lead. And we just haven't done a complete breakdown of it's like. internal biological processes.
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Mark Prepared For This
The data that I saw was of all the creatures that we do know how they work in their biological processes is, and then conjecture leads to the idea that since lead is toxic and it is bad for traditional biological processes, the life as we know it probably doesn't have lead in all of it. So it's an assumption, but it's a well-formed assumption based on data that has been extrapolated.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
But also I'm not a scientist and I didn't make the data in the first place, but it's pretty well known. There's a lot of studies about it and how bad it is. All I'm hearing is that Mark lied. No, I didn't lie. Big lead is going to come after me.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Yeah. I have nothing else for the episode. Well, well, well. Great episode, boys. Who won? No, no, no, no. We've got to fill this time. Oh, how do you feel about magnesium? Pretty cool. Take a magnesium supplement. Does it upset your tummy? No. Not really. You'd think that it would because I take all my vitamins at bedtime all at once.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
So I take a magnesium supplement, a B vitamin supplement, a whole multivitamin, and then something else. I forget what it is. But it's good for me, probably. Apparently, polonium is the worst element to ingest.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Yeah, that's the B vitamins. What's polonium? Toxic, radioactive, discovered by Mary Curie. Where have I heard that name before? I think she curied a disease.
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Mark Prepared For This
There's a headline here. The world's oldest anus has an unexplained glow in Florida. Is this a sentient anus? I have no idea. I'll read the article if you want me to. In 2017, and he... It was 2017 and he was running. I thought it was 2017 and he was running kayaking tours in Cape Canaveral, Florida, taking people to see bioluminescence, a phenomenon in which some creatures emit light.
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Mark Prepared For This
In late October that year, two buses full of geneticists pulled up to the shore to join his tour. Two buses full of geneticists? All of the geneticists in Florida. Anyway, having come from Europe for a genetics conference in Orlando. That makes a lot more sense. I should read these.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Literally, people listening to the podcast and they hear 22 and they're like, that won't kill nobody.
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Mark Prepared For This
Anyway, they rode an hour and a half to Cocoa Beach and were clearly excited. Quote, are we going to see the comb jellies? They kept asking. We really want to see the comb jellies. That's an actual quote. Comb jellies are some of the creatures that can emit bioluminescence. Perfectionism. particularly when agitated and water splashed by paddles or even hands.
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Mark Prepared For This
So if you've seen the video where people are paddling and swimming and it suddenly glows blue, that's there. But other organisms here glow in the same manner. So Brandao was curious why two busloads of scientists were so thrilled about them. Turns out geneticists study these organisms because they are among the oldest living beings on Earth and thus carry some of the oldest genes on Earth.
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Mark Prepared For This
Comb jellies have been around for 600 to 700 million years. But about a year prior, the creatures made a splash in scientific world for an entirely different reason. Their unexpected pooping process.
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Mark Prepared For This
Sure, sure. The transparent oblong jellies shocked scientists with their number two tricks in 2016 when evolutionary biologist William Brown showed videos of them defecating at a conference. Tricks are for kids. Until then, scientists believed that comb jellies ate and excreted through the same opening, similar to other simple organisms.
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Mark Prepared For This
But Brown's videos showed that they had a mouth in addition to an anus. Big news in the animal world. It was such a big deal, it merited publication in the journal Science, which stated, quote, the butthole is one of the finest innovations in the past 540 million years of animal evolution because it made eating more efficient and more hygienic.
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Mark Prepared For This
I really wish I was the driver of this bus of geneticists as they're talking excitedly about this. And I get why this is a big deal, I think, because this is one of the oldest creatures, so it's like, oh, buttholes evolved, probably. I haven't read the rest of it, but buttholes evolved, oh, much earlier than we thought. That's great. Interesting, I think.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Subreddit? Defend him. Defend him. I'll finish this article up. Goddamn. There you go. This article goes a long while, but it's from Atlas Obscura, written by Lina Zeldovic, published January 28th, 2025.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
got him if you really want to be mean you tell them it's a retinal scanner then they get pink eye why is it so low you're really tall for this job yeah you can lean down you can't lean up it's you know anyway i'm sorry that this is where this episode is devolved to i feel responsible for not having hey you know what our 15th bullet episode i figured had to devolve into buttholes eventually this is not a bullet episode that's not what this is we had an entire intro for bullets
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
No, we had a dire intro for knives. Oh, wait, no, we were talking about all those lead-based knives that we talked about. Listen, I don't remember the beginning. I barely remember what any of these point designations mean back in forever ago. So that was so long ago. But we got the future to look forward to, and this episode is not over. So lay it on me, guys. Carry me to the finish.
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Mark Prepared For This
And like, what was hilarious about it is that is the every single person who made a big like essay about that. And, you know, I respect the trying. That's fine. I'm not blaming that. But every single one of them said the exact same thing that the people in the gun store said. The exact same. It was like I was at the gun store again. Like, oh, yeah. Great. That's all the same account.
Distractible
Mark Prepared For This
Yeah, not necessarily, I guess. There's probably some people out there with, like, negative butt, you know? So I don't think that qualifies as having cheeks.
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Mark Prepared For This
Oh. I do have an anecdote. This is actually something happened the other day. I think just yesterday. You know I have my truck now, right? You have some truck nuts? No, I didn't. Not yet. I'll earn those soon. You know how Amy does this thing where every time she sees a Cybertruck, she just goes and hope they look, right? So that happened yesterday.
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Mark Prepared For This
A Cybertruck pulled up on an on-ramp to go up into the highway thing.
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Mark Prepared For This
Okay. I look over him, and I give him one of these, and then he guns it. Like, he guns it off the line, because, I don't know, he was trying to show off or something. He guns it.
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Mark Prepared For This
It's the same dude. Different accounts. No, no. That's just that's how it is. yeah you just like you say and you're like i'm just doing this to take a training course okay i won't be able to stop someone there's videos of people being shot 10 times it's still charging it's like okay that's mark you don't understand your gun is so small it actually speeds them up if they come after you yeah
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Mark Prepared For This
Not that I know of, but I don't think the three of us can give birth.
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Mark Prepared For This
It was a whole... Oh, right. That's because my audience was weird. Sure, sure. Blame them. Your audience has one common denominator. What's that? Six. Six. We got 10 more minutes to fill.
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Mark Prepared For This
Get a diabetes testing kit in your jello fish. Guys, I failed you. I spent all my resources making that beautiful level.
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Mark Prepared For This
Doesn't something smell a little off to you? Hey, do you smell something? Well, that's a weird smell. I don't know what it is.
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Mark Prepared For This
Welcome to the show that was formerly known as Don't Look Up, but we were sued by some dumbass in a movie studio.
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Mark Prepared For This
I wish I had another follow-up bit after that, but I don't. I know I haven't done one of those in a while, and I'm pretty happy with it, but God, I wish I had taken like 30 minutes last night to actually do anything related to preparing for an episode.
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Mark Prepared For This
Everyone, every species on this planet. It's just a crucial, it's crucial that you avoid the butthole. Well, with Historic, it's a cloaca, actually, so it's the same thing.
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Mark Prepared For This
Probably wasn't a police station. Truck stop bathroom. Closed Ponderosa. Not out of business, just closed.
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Mark Prepared For This
I did know that there are electrician national championships with like electrical pole work. I know that there's like lumberjack championships. I know there's a firefighter championships. A lot of this we covered on Hip Podcast Go, my favorite sports team. But yeah, I did not know about the plumber one. Who provides the poop?
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Mark Prepared For This
Also, man, I forgot the intro. Sorry, my eyes have been real itchy lately. It's not like there's any allergen in the air. My eyes are super dry and itchy.
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Mark Prepared For This
What you do is you beat the lead with your own lead. You eat enough lead that it shocks the lead in the pipes. Only lead can stop lead. That's the worst Smokey the Bear I've ever heard.
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Mark Prepared For This
Missing fur patches. Instead of a shell, this is a giant gun. Like a .50 cal.
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Mark Prepared For This
All right. Okay. We're ending it there. I would like to formally apologize to everyone for my unpreparedness. I had all the time in the world. I have no excuse. And I spent it all on eBay. I didn't actually buy anything on eBay, but last night I was looking on eBay for like hours. I don't know what was wrong with me. I was like in a trance. Bought nothing. Did nothing. Wasted three hours straight.
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Mark Prepared For This
been there i love that then i woke up this morning with plenty of time so much time went to sharpening knives that's what i did in the morning well that's not all you did you also came up with that yes that's true so i woke up at 6 30 and then i sharpened a knife uh that i didn't sharpen last night um and then i was like i gotta feed the dogs and oh i have an hour a whole hour oh i'll make one of those things and i'll come up with a great episode ah yay and then
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Mark Prepared For This
Points! Wade, you were depressed by snow. You antagonized me, which lost you a point. You got a point back for Dick Hardener. Leadfoot, oh life. Zero life. Zero life lead. Zero lead life.
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Mark Prepared For This
Well, it's, uh, for the most part, it's starting to get better. I mean, obviously it's still a concern for a while.
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Mark Prepared For This
Cure Reed, a disease. Rats, 15,000 descendants. Clo, ache, uh. And Letty, the bear. Which I think I said, but I wrote it down for you because you kind of brought it up. Bob, you got, you're never going to kill someone with that!
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Mark Prepared For This
You got the segue point, zero mammals, Mary Curry, please, in the Indian restaurant, butthole fingerprints, a new scam, and then the perfect crime, stealing from someone in a police station. They can't do a thing about it, apparently. How many points did he lose for antagonizing? None. He didn't antagonize him.
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Mark Prepared For This
This is fair, I think, for my unpreparedness. What's the number?
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Mark Prepared For This
Why does one-man show have to be green? I don't like that. What color would you like? I don't know. Green's fine.
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Mark Prepared For This
It's dry, clear eyes. They say it's, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be not great for a while, but you know, it's not deadly to go outside. It's not 320, whatever AQI, but, but that's not to play it down. If you, if you, you know, are in an area that has a, be aware that air quality can get, uh, Messy. I'm going to give you the segue point.
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Mark Prepared For This
I don't know. I don't know. I didn't think I would have to do it.
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Mark Prepared For This
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of, because I'm like, oh, we'll just skip it. But no one knows who's going to host next time now.
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Mark Prepared For This
No, well, okay, so I have to do a one-man show, but you guys need time to write it. That should be next week when we record next, but we need to figure out who's going to host next episode.
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Mark Prepared For This
This summer, I want to say. But we did Council earlier in the year. We did the February 19th. So when this comes out, we would be very close to that.
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Mark Prepared For This
Okay. All right. That sounds good. You know, when we read the Constitution, it'll probably be a surprise.
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Mark Prepared For This
So it's decreed. Next episode is the second semi-annual. Bi-annual. Bi-annual Council of Distracted. Bi-annual? What's one annual? Annual. Monogamal. Monogamal?
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Mark Prepared For This
All right, cool. All right. Well, anyway, thank you, everyone, for listening to this. Do you want to give a one-man speech? It should be like a warm-up. There's no winner or loser speech. Time management is such a valuable skill. It's never too late to learn how to manage your time correctly. Thank you for listening and or watching. Thank you, Bob and Wade, for participating in this.
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Mark Prepared For This
And I appreciate all of you. And I look forward to giving my second ever one-man show in my life. I've done quite a few more than the average person, apparently. Follow the podcast for more. It'll be a new season very soon, and I don't know what that means for us, but we will determine it in the council. Podcast out.
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Mark Prepared For This
I don't think we're going to be sponsored by that drink company anytime soon.
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Mark Prepared For This
I wouldn't mind a drink that just tasted awful. And that's why they made Red Bull. They were like, we wanted it to not taste great and taste more like medicine. So the people thought it worked because there is some psychology to that. My problem is I actually like taste. We're not sponsored by Red Bull.
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Mark Prepared For This
Oh man, we got to do small talk first. By the way, this is the podcast where I'm the host because I won last week and then Bob and Wade are here going to compete to be the next host. next week or in four days or whenever it is. Several days from now. All of you with your Unasana-style TikToking countdown clocks of when the next episode is going to come up.
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Mark Prepared For This
You tell us exactly how many hours and seconds and minutes it is. But hey, how are your lives doing?
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Mark Prepared For This
I have no idea though. I don't know gooses too well. Gooses? Gooses. I don't know gooses either. Geeses? Geese Jesus?
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Mark Prepared For This
It's fascinating because your dogs are tiny. So in my mind, your entire yard, any woods nearby is devastated like toppled trees. Somehow piles of dung like a Jurassic Park when the guy goes like, that's a big pile of shit. That uncovered by the snow. Is this just like a square this big or...
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Mark Prepared For This
I won't take away a point for that, but you have told that. You're on thin ice, though.
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Mark Prepared For This
Man, that is sad. I'm sorry, man. Hey, I'm content. Have you tried getting into Knives?
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Mark Prepared For This
I will tell you, though, I used, you know that sharpener that I obliterated last week? I actually used it I read the guide and I used it on my kitchen knives which I've known have been dull forever like I have those colored like Cuisinart shitty cheap knives
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Mark Prepared For This
you still have those same ones i remember those okay and they're horrifically dull like horrendously dull they're very old but i i used the uh the sharpener and it took a while to get like the actual consistent angle going most of the time we go and i jostle all over the place once i got it and i actually used oil it started working and my god they're sharp again i i honestly hold on hold on rewind
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Mark Prepared For This
The only way to get a... secure connection is to own the fiber from one point to the other. And what I discovered recently is AT&T offers that as a service. They will run the fiber from one to another place, a new line all the way using old conduits and stuff, but a new line all the way from one building to another to do that. And I asked like, whoa, why would that be for?
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Mark Prepared For This
Just antagonizing me, and this is not fair. Look, I'm trying to put it out there. How many knives have you sharpened, okay?
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Mark Prepared For This
But what was the sharpener? Was it a sharpener or was it just the thing in the knife block?
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Mark Prepared For This
So you didn't sharpen. So that's the thing. This is why it's mind-blowing to me, and I feel like your antagonistic attitude is not recognizing this. Because it took me a while before I realized that wasn't a sharpener. That's just to get rid of any excess shavings of metal that have flaked off from the various things you've cut over time. But with a sharpener, this sharpener was $20.
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Mark Prepared For This
I've always, my entire life, been like, when a knife goes dull, that's just it. And for some reason, I've never connected the idea that I could make a tool that I have last much longer than I could ever imagine. And I knew with, like, hammers and shit like that, like, those tools, you could do that. But for some reason, knives to me were always like, oh, man. I can't do anything once it's dull.
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Mark Prepared For This
But it took me five minutes. Five minutes, and I did the paper test, and suddenly my kitchen knife that I'd had for five years and never sharpened it once could just slice through paper like that. I was like, holy shit, it worked!
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Mark Prepared For This
I need to write this down. What was it called? A dick hardener. All right, do I ask for that, or? That's for knives, or? It's for your tool. Is that like a brand name, or is that just generic?
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Mark Prepared For This
You guys are asking a lot of questions I don't know the answer to.
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Mark Prepared For This
It is interesting. It is crazy. I have no idea what steel those knives are made out of because they're like the blade is coated as well. So it's colored from handle to the edge of the blade, except for where it's worn through.
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Mark Prepared For This
And they say like police stations do it all the time. Secure government buildings do it all the time because they need no one to be able to get in that or have any other. So AT&T or whoever does the internet, they build it and then they hand off all the equipment. So it is a thing that can be done. We just don't have anywhere close to the resources to be able to do that.
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Mark Prepared For This
It's blue, orange, green, yellow. Oh, the whole thing is colorful. That's right. Everything's a different color. But yeah, even those can be sharpened, even if they don't hold their edge as long as anything else. It's not rusty, so I just shaved. Wade, you can eat those.
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Mark of Theseus
Oblivion was just... Man, he's the cousin at the family reunion you don't want to talk to, you know?
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Mark of Theseus
I haven't eaten anything. I'll tell you what though. I've been doing like a high protein diet. I haven't eaten anything. I haven't eaten anything. Not because I've been cutting on carbs a lot. Not to talk about diet. I'm sorry for everybody who doesn't like to talk about diet.
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Mark of Theseus
An der Haut meines Kopfes denke ich, dass ich mit dem Wolverine regenerieren werde.
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Mark of Theseus
And if you're not super careful about flossing and brushing all the time, it can catch up to you. And so not having that has actually been quite good for my teeth. I always speed on the highway so nothing catches me.
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Mark of Theseus
Das ist, weil Kinder keine Ahnung haben, wie alt es wirklich ist. Also du versus ein 90-jähriger Mann ist im Grunde die gleiche in ihrer Meinung.
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Mark of Theseus
I've done this before where I hold a lens up and I was like looking to see if it was dusty and I did it into the sun and I went out. Burned your own eyes. Oh, ja. Nicht lange, aber ich... Du warst so, was macht die Ant-Erfahrung?
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Mark of Theseus
I don't want to know that. That is between you and you and the genie in your penis, if there is one.
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Mark of Theseus
Hair. Ears I forgot to put on here, so ears were never even in the question. Lips or mouth, chest, right arm, left nut, right leg and feet were not upgraded.
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Mark of Theseus
Du hast den Punkt für Lügen verloren, weil du kein Auto hast. Pedantik-Punkt. Du hast einen Punkt für den Teil, der von jedem Körper entfernt wird, der nur Poesie ist. Einen Punkt für Don't Eat Ass. Du hast den... Die Nase, das Herz, den Stomach, den Penis und mein linkes Bein. Bob, du hast einen guten Punkt. Du hast einen Punkt, um krank zu werden. Du hast einen Punkt für eine Fridge-Update.
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Mark of Theseus
Bonus-Punkt für Quasi-Supernatural-Nutze. Und du hast auch diesen Punkt, weil ich dachte, es wäre lustig und ich habe gerade diesen Punkt geschrieben, bevor ich wusste, dass es deiner sein wird. Du hast den Mandeln-König-Arm und Wolverine-Head. In a funny way or in a breaking in way?
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Mark of Theseus
Now that's funny. The winner of today's episode. With 8 points to 7 points. And I was giving points out willy nilly. Wait.
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Mark of Theseus
Yeah. And for those who don't know, there was someone that shot the CEO of UnitedHealthcare. We do not condone that in any way, shape or form. But at the same time, one of the commonalities that I see online is that no one seems to be surprised.
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Mark of Theseus
Well, two plus two equals four in this scenario. You know, you can see where the math got to this point.
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Mark of Theseus
No. Welcome to the Mark of Theseus. I have here, I have here a drawing of myself. You look very derisive in your drawing.
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Mark of Theseus
Also, wie wird das funktionieren? ist, dass ich einen meiner vielen, vielen Körperpartien vorlegen werde. Viele Körperpartien, die ich für Upgrade habe.
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Slice of Life
I don't know, man. You could do a long-term rental probably. It sounds like you could just use Molly's old car. Yeah, but I want you guys to leave me alone.
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Slice of Life
god this is a new one right i've said this before i've had max right i've been doing that because for editing the latest you know macintosh computers sure sure i thought you meant hbo max like the app and i was like how does that help dude we could talk about that of like hbo versus hbo max and now max it doesn't make any sense it's still hb i don't understand
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Slice of Life
Anyway, with this, I've started buying MacBooks and Mac computers for my editors because it's just beneficial for that. So I run a business technically. And so I wanted to sign up for a business account with Apple because I heard that if you do enough business with them and you have a business account, you can get discounts over time. They have a more official pipeline.
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Slice of Life
Bowl of cereal. Wake up. No school. Because I'm four. Backyard. Grass. Play place. Trees. Oh, it's cold out, actually. Bundled up. Probably, maybe snow. Not yet snow. No, no snow yet. But cold. Cold. Look at the sky. Can't see. Blurry. No glasses yet. Can't really see much. All very blurry. That's my slice of my life. I was confusing dreams with reality a lot at this point.
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Slice of Life
So it might have been one of the moments where I was in the backyard and I start floating up in the air and then rising over the tree line. But it's like the fog of war in a video game because my entire life had not expanded beyond the domain of my house and yard. So I was just gray. I was descending past the simulation, you know?
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Slice of Life
So DOS was the the precursor to Windows and stuff like that. I played some DOS games. I just Star Wars DOS game. I Yeah, but inherently DOS is a less accessible computer than Windows. And so Bill Gates wanted Windows to become the gaming platform. So when Windows 95 launched, Bill Gates had a huge campaign in which he starred in actual video ads saying Doom was coming to Windows.
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Slice of Life
They get dedicated yada yadas, whatever. Okay, you know how Apple is all about their very catchy, streamlined branding and advertising and stuff like that? Their business site, I feel, is made specifically to be as stupid and as boring and dull as every other enterprise-level nonsense that you could possibly see online. It just doesn't make any sense. It barely works. And I had to go contact...
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Slice of Life
And it was all a big, it was a big thing. There was a lot of promotion behind it. Because Doom was already, it was an extremely popular game. I'm not saying it wasn't popular before this, but for more people, it became suddenly more accessible because it came through Windows.
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Slice of Life
Or was that when you no longer had to do that? When it came to Windows, you didn't have to launch DOS mode. It could launch right from Windows. Interesting. Cool. Man, going to DOS mode on computers, I forgot that that was even a thing back then. Yeah, you had to reboot in DOS mode to play certain games. Now the terminal, you know, comes up.
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Slice of Life
And I've actually had to do a lot more terminal stuff or command prompt stuff lately, especially with the server. Because, like, you've got to do everything from, like, SSH commands into the server and all kinds of stuff like that. So I've actually... It's weird going back to it. It's very bizarre having to CD into directories and...
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Slice of Life
Although Linux, you know how I made fun of Linux people a while back? I was saying they had to do all kinds of stupid shit to make their shit work.
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Slice of Life
No, I've done it now and I want to make fun of it because I want to read you a command I had to type in to make this shit work because inherently in Linux there's a... There's a parameter called swappiness, which stands for how much the system has a proclivity to swap your memory out onto the hard drive, right?
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Slice of Life
So the command to get the swappiness down... I was talking... I had to search a lot for this. To make this change... I had to go into the terminal, type sudo nano etc sysctl.d slash 99-swappiness.conf, and then I had to make a new variable inside this file called vm.swappiness equals zero, save it with control x and then y, and then hit enter, and then I type in echo space zero.
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Slice of Life
line sudo t proxys vm swappiness and then i verify it with cat proxys vm swappiness and then i i changed one parameter in linux one goddamn parameter nice job guy thinks he's computer jesus because he turned swappiness off Just, dude, I felt like it when I had to figure out how to do this shit. And someone who does Linux is probably like, this guy's an idiot.
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Slice of Life
You should have typed sudo nano butthole type sloppiness. I don't even understand how anyone would know what these commands were if someone else didn't tell me, right?
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Slice of Life
I mean, admittedly, computer science in school was a little outdated even when it was happening. I remember because we had a visual basic class, and I was like, oh boy, I can't wait to learn to be a programmer. The visual basic's awesome, as I copy and paste 20,000 nested functions.
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Slice of Life
I just remember typing class and then playing Oregon Trail. I did not know. I might be wrong about this, but it's C, then C++, and C sharp is actually C++++, but they're stacked into a symbol because if you take four pluses and stack them, it becomes the sharp symbol or the pound symbol.
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Slice of Life
C-pound. C-pound? C-pound is way cooler. I program in C-pound. Really pound the computer and doing what I want. C-pound and a half.
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Slice of Life
Apple's business customer service several times because after I signed up for a business account, because it was a small business, I click here, I'll sign up. Perfect.
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Slice of Life
It wasn't like Looney Tunes, where it was like... No, it was bad. It was bad.
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Slice of Life
No, it was different because the two other kids we were with were of a fundamentally different skin color than you, so. Old?
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Slice of Life
Turns out I might be colorblind, guys. I just only see gray. I'd gotten glasses at that point, but I think the gray was from, oh, my parents are getting divorced. Two days before my birthday. I don't know. I don't remember when they had the talk that it was going to happen, but
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Slice of Life
I saw the store for two hours and then I went to bed because I signed up the night before and I went to bed and I woke up and let me see if I can, if I go here and I click on shop online with a business account, sign in, wait for it. Give us a call. There might be a problem. So I called that number and I was on the phone for an hour and a half being raised to manager after manager after manager.
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Slice of Life
You get two birthdays this year. I think that at this point in my life, I had probably gone to Korea once. So I guess my horizon had expanded. But it's one of those things where when you're a kid, you hop in the magical tube and they say, it's going to fly. And you just wait here for 16 hours and you're going to be someplace else.
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Slice of Life
And, you know, that's all I can remember of traveling to anywhere there. And, you know, I fall asleep in the car or whatever. But that's not a slice of life. At this point, I was doing a lot of staring at the sun. I had trouble seeing. What'd you do?
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Slice of Life
Dude, I went way more than six seconds. Let me tell you, six seconds is chump numbers. I think I made it up to a minute at one point. Everyone out there watching or listening, this is not a challenge. Don't do it. No, don't do this. I think I turned out fine. I don't know. Who knows? I've never I've never valued my eyes as being my strong suit until I got, you know, surgery to correct my vision.
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Slice of Life
And who knows? Like, maybe I don't have perfect vision, but I feel like I do. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Definitely not there. In June 22nd of 1980. No. Oh, seven.
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Slice of Life
June 26th of 1980. Oh, Bill Clinton. What? Did you meet him? We were best buds. Really weird if that's true. I think I've answered your question.
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Slice of Life
You know all those Zoomers? They don't understand. They'll never, ever experience two millennia. Two different millennia. Thank you. Thank you.
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Slice of Life
Each one of them being like, I don't know why this is a problem. So their solution, their solution was to create an entirely different e-commerce site for which is just the Apple front store, but it says Markiplier on it. It's like, this is your custom store. I'm like, I didn't need this. I did not need you to make my own store for me because it doesn't make any sense.
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Slice of Life
Well, that's easier than making their base website work. I know, right? So this isn't apple.com. You see at the top, it says Apple store for Markiplier. Welcome! Can we all go there and shop? No! This is mine! They made this for me! And if you go to, like, any of the products, like I was looking at the new computers they have, and if you go to configure it, you can't see a goddamn thing.
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Slice of Life
It's just a white blur? That website doesn't work at all! So, this is now the dumbed-down version of the computer. It auto-brightnesses. I don't know. It won't stay. God, I fucking love Apple's brightness. We saw it for a second. We saw it for a second. We understand. God, the updates that they've been doing on their photos app and all the other crap.
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Slice of Life
we only had elmo we had like one elmo in the school it was like a new kind of experimental but it was cool we got to use it elmo palm pilots flat screens laptops they did have the the smart board which even i remember like the you know the something there was something digital about it that made it like a smart board and it never worked every teacher hated it and
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Slice of Life
not they still have smart boards modern smart boards work a little bit those ones back then didn't do shit ever yeah they had to calibrate i remember they had like touch four corners oh yeah you would touch the thing yeah yeah happen then be like fucking tap tap
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Slice of Life
Ray, I was staring at the wall. They rolled it in, and everyone was probably watching something really fun. Couldn't hear it. Couldn't see it. I don't know what happened. Then we got to go home.
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Slice of Life
Like, I know this is kind of an old person thing to complain about, but I'm fine with customizing computers. I've been building computers for a very long time. I do Mac because it's efficient. Power efficiency when I'm editing on a laptop is more important than anything and being able to still have it, yada, yada, doesn't matter.
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Slice of Life
And I get back home and my dad's crying for some reason and I'm like, hmm, that's weird. Anyway, time for video games. I'm gonna go play Doom. Bye. He said something about turning that place to glass and I went downstairs and was like, okay, cool, I like glass.
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Slice of Life
it's gray gray glass you know no i i legitimately remember like he i mean my dad was like an army guy he was a career army guy for like 21 or 23 years i can't really remember right now but yeah so he was he was very much very much uh angry i feel like i so i remember going to school and then like i don't remember what order my classes were in but i had like literature something literature was what it was called with um i remember the teacher book literature words literature
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Slice of Life
mark i think you're first here this is probably the last one for this one then maybe we'll do this again because i didn't get through nearly as many as i thought we would june 26 2003 i got this you know what else is gray a big beautiful aircraft carrier where george w bush was standing in front of a big banner that said mission accomplished is that the right date for that i'm gonna look that up
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Slice of Life
I went back to the email chain that I had with Apple and I was like, okay, the custom site is cool and all, but I'm still running into this other problem with your regular business site. And that's all I really want because if you go in here and you try to order something, you don't get the option of like, oh, you can get that same day courier delivery. You have to have it shipped.
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Slice of Life
I knew it was somewhere in there, but yeah. No, we did it. We were riding the high of our success. Stock market never been boomier. Nothing can take down USA. Sorry, not gray. I'm talking red, white, and blue, baby.
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Slice of Life
I completely forgot about that. Yeah. What a, what a time. Good thing. Yeah. We were out of Iraq. Like next day we're done. Something like that.
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Slice of Life
And you can only ship it to the address you provided to them when you set up the website. Maybe not. I'm not 100% sure. But it doesn't seem to be working. So I was like, there. And then the guy said, like, oh, you can just go online, go to the business site, click shop with Apple Business, sign in, and you're there. And I'm like, that is the original problem I reached out to you for.
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Slice of Life
I thought he was just joking. I didn't know that was actually a thing that happened.
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Slice of Life
Mark? This seems familiar, this date, for some reason. I don't know what it is, and I don't know why it is, but something happened on this day. Something. Uh-huh. Now your turn. Tell me about your life on this day. I thought we were having a conversation here. I thought I was talking to my friend about the past. No, you're talking to your host. My host. No, something wasn't the iPod.
Distractible
Slice of Life
I feel like it was something launched on this day. Was this World of Warcraft? Was this World of Warcraft? It was World of Warcraft. Is that the launch day of World of Warcraft? Holy shit, it is, isn't it? November 23rd, 2004, WoW launches. Wow, I knew this day was important for some reason, I just didn't know why. That makes so much sense.
Distractible
Slice of Life
That is, if you scroll up in our emails, you'll see a picture that I sent him. Sorry, there might be a problem. Call this number. And I swear to God, if he responds to me and being like, oh, you see it, call that number.
Distractible
Slice of Life
Yeah, I didn't start with the launch. I started slightly after the launch, but I don't remember when after. It wasn't right away, because I remember talking to my dad about it. I was like, this is like a subscription you have to pay. Boo! And then, you know, a few months later, I started playing it for some reason. I don't remember if I paid this subscription or whatever.
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Slice of Life
I know I was not supposed to look anything up, but I was like, man, is it still going on? There's this website, MMO Champion, that I used to check all the time for news online. I'm like, they're still doing it. Still having updates, still patch notes, still new items coming out. Man, this is still here.
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Slice of Life
It's going to be Markiplier's store of the store of Markiplier. It's just, it's nonsense because I feel like someone, like a bunch of these other corporations are just full of old people that don't understand things and they need it in one specific way, the most boring way possible with all the part numbers so they can make their stupid invoices.
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Slice of Life
It'll have probably 365 things. All right, we've got two spins coming in. Yep, spin number one.
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Slice of Life
You're right. It's totally fair. I'm not protesting it at all, because it's definitely me, right?
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Slice of Life
No, actually, I was because I thought we weren't allowed to, you know, go on the Internet.
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Slice of Life
I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one. That's fair. I didn't I didn't do that.
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Slice of Life
Yay! Winner's speech. Memory. Such a funny thing. Will people remember this victory that I claimed? Yes. Yes, they will. Just like they always remember when I, Mark I. Plyer, doth win. And I doth win by getting more points. So thank you to me for performing so good in everything that I do. And also, also me, for my past self, for being there for me. Bob, do you have a less gray loser speech?
Distractible
Slice of Life
And it's like, I'm not, I'm not this company that you think I am. I'm just, I want to do the same thing I was doing when I was buying them before. but potentially getting rewards and discounts for it because I'm a business.
Distractible
Slice of Life
they want you to really work for those rewards it's so regressive though because one thing about you know it almost to an excessive degree is apple tries to simplify things that's not just me complimenting them sometimes it's overly simplified and really trying to pursue the ultimate you know Simplification sometimes gets really in the way of everything else you're trying to do.
Distractible
Slice of Life
This is intentionally dumbed down. Intentionally dumbed down so much that it has made it impossible to actually buy anything. Which is the whole point of this store. Isn't that the whole point of Apple as a business, a big corporation? I need to buy something and I can't. I just can't.
Distractible
Slice of Life
Well, the actual store, if I go to the actual store, I can buy things too fast. You know, it's, it's problematic how quick I could buy something.
Distractible
Slice of Life
Yeah. Suddenly scanning my face and I hear a ding. I'm like, oh, shit. Anyway, this is again. Yeah. Weird thing to complain about. But I've never known this side of this company and how broken it could possibly be that I need multiple employees contacting me for multiple different things. And I think that it's an extension of business as a whole is like it's it's dramatically too inefficient.
Distractible
Slice of Life
3d print that you're good to go my first experience with a miter saw was when i was building decks and so i looked at a miter saw and most of them are limited to like 45 degrees right and so i looked at it and i was like wait what if i need to do a 60 degree cut and my boss just laughed and right now i get why he laughed but he just laughed it was like good one and walked away
Distractible
Slice of Life
like my 16 years old my brain can't do the trigonometry to know that 90 minus 30 is 60 and just change the orientation of the board I'm just like I can't I can't so I was sitting there for like hours not hours like he didn't wait hours for me to get this cut done so I was just sitting there like looking at it like just you had like a piece of wood in it though and you were just like literally
Distractible
Slice of Life
i was just sitting there with the wood there i was like oh i can't can't fuck this up measure twice cut once just it comes over doesn't say a word just like turns the board 90 degrees and i'm like anyway that was my first experience with the miter so if anyone's confused and doesn't know what i'm talking about
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Slice of Life
I can't believe that some of the kids can do like the abacus method. You've ever seen the videos of the kids doing like speed addition and subtraction. And they're just, I thought it was, I didn't know what I was seeing when I first saw a video of a whole classroom of kids just like... Not blinking. They're conducting an orchestra, a really small orchestra.
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Slice of Life
But it's really impressive because they're able to do some extremely fast addition and subtraction. And I think basic multiplication is possible with that. I'm not sure because I don't know the method, but it's very impressive.
Distractible
Slice of Life
The speed at which they can do things and the tricks that you can do with numbers and how an abacus works in terms of like being able to do that is sometimes more efficient than actually having a calculator.
Distractible
Where Am I?!
I don't know what you think the Oobly fruit does to people, but I don't think it does that. It's both full of brosine and heroin.
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Where Am I?!
Are they bad? They've been like this. Like, yeah, I'll just fix them. Don't worry. I'll just fix them.
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Where Am I?!
did it get pulled into a u.s state or is it just a floating city somewhere dumbass state doesn't exist anymore obviously this this is this is have you guys do you guys see always sunny in philadelphia a little not much of it but have you seen this sketch where charlie doesn't understand what a city is wait so guys so i'm in philadelphia when do i leave philadelphia and get and go into pennsylvania
Distractible
Where Am I?!
Oh! Hey, you know what? That's in the US. He's on the board. I am going to say this is fake, which is a thing I forgot we could guess in the last round.
Distractible
Where Am I?!
Get on the floor. Everybody do the dinosaur. Fake. I'm not going to say where it is that it's fake because that hurts my chances.
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Where Am I?!
who believes very firmly that the current interpretation of what dinosaurs look like and how they sounded is scientifically inaccurate. So he's made his own sort of facsimile of Jurassic Park, but they're all like models and animatronics and stuff. But he has called his municipality Dinosaur.
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Where Am I?!
No, I know generally where Iowa is. I just have no concept of how wide Montana is. Montana and the Dakotas are like nine states wide. I have no idea how far away Washington is from Iowa, but I know they're up there.
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Where Am I?!
I thought you were going to say, when everyone thinks of Ohio, they think...
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Where Am I?!
How is he seeing into the future like that? How is it possible? I am premonition. I'm premonoting? Pronotion? I'm about to premonition. I'm preming? I'm preming?
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Where Am I?!
It's actually a small city outside of Boston where Paul Revere put two lamps in the church because it was by sea and the lamps were a glow in the tower of the church.
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Where Am I?!
i have small talk that everyone's gonna be excited for you know how everyone always shits their pants with glee whenever mark talks about one of his hyper fixations like lenses or render farms well i'm circling back to everybody's favorite bob obsession i found the last phone case i'm ever gonna need guys oh boy oh
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Where Am I?!
Well, I'm never going to talk about it again because this is the only one you need.
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Where Am I?!
Well, because I went to their website, right? I ordered this off their website for their holiday deal thing that they had. And I'm definitely going to get that in my ad algorithm, whatever bullshit.
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Where Am I?!
No, their website is just their ad with a button under it that says buy our shit.
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Where Am I?!
I know, I know. I better be in the sequel of that guy's video. He better say, he better say my name. Say my name.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Yeah, Bob, I've been standing since the last time we talked about standing, and we all communally did that, so...
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idk, some "Q"s
Whenever I try to put this format in my head, it doesn't work good for me. But hold on. I got this.
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idk, some "Q"s
Ah, but it's not clever. It's too obvious. It's too obvious. I need to be more cerebral.
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idk, some "Q"s
I got it. Whatever factory the Poppy Playtimes universe is set in, I'm pretty sure it's right kid to there. Dead. And you. All dead.
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idk, some "Q"s
We went through the five stages of grief. You have another one. Oh, okay. The clown testing factory where they test the clowns. What goes into clown testing? Are these evil clowns or something? Well, this is why it's the testing factor. You got to make sure that they're not scary.
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idk, some "Q"s
It's big. So in my head, I've been to it so many times because my mom loves shopping there that it's just a grocery store.
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idk, some "Q"s
And then see if he runs away scared or something. Oh man, it should have been...
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idk, some "Q"s
Okay, you don't even need to do the cutting. If you're stabbed, bleed on the ground, he's got his knife in your heart and you're like, you can't kill what's already dead. That's a pretty good last words.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Why am I being caught in the shower? I think that would be a really unpleasant place.
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idk, some "Q"s
Yeah, well, I didn't want you to catch me, so... Well, then, yeah, the shower makes a perfect answer. It perfectly makes sense.
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idk, some "Q"s
There's a skylight in my bathroom and occasionally I do, um, I look up and I'm like, someone better not be peering over, you know, looking down at me.
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idk, some "Q"s
I don't know my Disney villains too well, so I can't exactly say. I can't think of any.
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idk, some "Q"s
I was looking at the air conditioner dying in Brave Little Toaster and how that... Oh, that was satisfying. No, it's not satisfying. That fucked me up as a kid. I repressed this memory of this air conditioner exploding.
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idk, some "Q"s
Okay. It must be, right? Because that's... The human body is all kinds of disgusting. So we just try to... We made a diaper. That is socially acceptable.
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idk, some "Q"s
Legitimately, so I was already in bed and Amy goes like, Mark! And I run because it sounded urgent and I get over there and there's a fucking bear. just like out in the yard outside right there oh man that's fun there's a glass door and so it's a fucking bear it's not huge right but it's big it's it's about like it wasn't like a cub it was like a grown bear It seemed like an adolescent bear.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Well, if you knew it, why'd you ask in the first place? Because I wanted to get there. The real answer that's very boring is I'm not going to say it. Oh, I'll say it. It wasn't.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
You know, super PACs, well, they made super squares, and it's just a way for them to funnel more money into the square hole.
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idk, some "Q"s
I used to be so confident about stop sign. Like, etiquette. okay but i think the rules from ohio and california are different what like who goes first if you approach it at the same time depending on the direction i think it's like direction dependent right so my etiquette is right of way means whoever's on the right has the right away right
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
yeah but then there's some other rule on the california thing this is about left turns in there and i'm like it's not the the left no one cares about left left of way no i i think i would struggle oh actually no i know that rule all my confidence is gone the rule is i know this one you must always give way to the right unless anyone's turning left because fuck them
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
the rule left yeah if you're turning left fuck you you go last it's something about that so i yeah i just because i have no confidence anymore about that one i don't know i don't know what to do about it We need more roundabouts. I can't deal with stop signs. Oh, roundabouts.
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idk, some "Q"s
In Austin, the roads in Texas are crazy as it is, but they do have roundabouts there. And there's this one in Austin where I think I have seen trucks go through there. And they just take up both lanes. That's all there is to it. They're going to take up both lanes. There's nothing else to do.
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idk, some "Q"s
A White Sox? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a bear. So it was like about... So you remember Lucy? The bear? Lucy, my mom's... Yeah, Lucy the bear. Oh, the dog. Yeah, okay. So about that size. So Great Pyrenees size. Definitely bigger than Chica. And apparently, and I checked the security cameras, Chica had been sleeping in her bed, which is right by the glass door there.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
And the bear had come up and just was like at the window staring at her. And then you see her head go.
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idk, some "Q"s
So before I remember as a kid, people would be like, hey, you want to go do X, Y, Z, go hang out here? And I'd go, no, I'm busy. Even though I would have loved to, like for some reason, just like, no, I wish, but no. And I just wouldn't because I was so awkward. And I couldn't wrap my head around social conversations properly that I would just say I was busy. And I wasn't. Don't know why.
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idk, some "Q"s
And the bear like paused the glass, like right on the glass. So Chica gets up, wags. Then Henry comes over, looks over at the bear. And they're both just like nose to nose on the glass. No barking, no nothing. And then Amy sees, obviously, and is like a bear. And I run in and I'm like, hey, get out of here, bear. Get out of here. Just like that.
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idk, some "Q"s
I bet there's tons of people who are listening to this right now love Long John Silver's. I don't even have one in my area. I would go a lot more.
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idk, some "Q"s
Well, actually, so the bear went around and then we heard rustling in our trash cans and I go like, oh, no. So I get a stick and I go outside and I just start whacking the stick on the ground trying to make noise. And that scared it off for a second. I went back in. It came back to the trash cans. And then I just went out there and I started chucking a cardboard box at it. And that scared it.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Their batter's good, their fish. I love Long John Silver's. And in LA, there's only one, and it's down in, where even is that? It's in Gardena. So it's so far away, but it's a Long John Silver's slash KFC. And there's another one that's like way, way, way out east.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
I get confused. Fish, chicken, I don't know. Put one in the other, it don't matter.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Even Moist Critical made a video being like, who actually eats Long John Silvers?
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idk, some "Q"s
You get like these diamonds of fish and you dip that in your tartar sauce and it's delicious.
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idk, some "Q"s
you're so mean i'm not gonna lie it was actually probably my favorite fast food chain at a certain point in my life oh man that's crazy when i worked at micro center there was one right down the road so it'd take my lunch break i would just go eat there every day
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
And then it just went off. It was a bear. I've never seen a bear in person outside of a zoo or anything like that. It was a bear.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Yeah, I wouldn't say I have fond memories of the Long John Silver's bathrooms that I went to.
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idk, some "Q"s
I don't need to kill it. I just need to keep it for it because it gets through the trash. It's going to make an ungodly mess. It's going to go all over the place and I'll have to clean it up and I don't want to do that. You should have grabbed the trash can lid to use as a shield and then charged it. Alright, that's an option. I had a stick and a cardboard box so that's what I chose.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
All right, I'm going to pick this area above my head because it's where the middle of the colors are blending, right? That sound fair?
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idk, some "Q"s
No, wait. Ah, it just went away. God, I never know where those go. Got that.
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idk, some "Q"s
Shout out to Seth Meyers. Okay. Someone write these numbers down for me. My shirt, right about in the middle, right, the gray right there. 402A29. 402A29. Uh-huh, that's my shirt. The background is, if I'm in the middle, is AE542D. AE542D. Okay, and Bob's background, uh, it should be similar to what it was before, but God knows all. Okay, we got 2F1846. Okay. Okay, and then Bob's shirt, 83393A.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Alright, so we convert it to RGB. So we convert 402829, uh, and AE542D. So that goes 644241. To 174, 84, 45. That's very different. For a total difference of 117.8. Bob, your 83393A and 2F1846 was 131, 57, 58, 47, 24, 70. A total difference of 91. His is more close. Alright, point for Bob. All that work for just a... Alright, point for Bob. So much fucking work.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
This is going to be statistically impossible by the end of this season. Like how many points went to them?
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Threw the box and then scared it. This bear was like, it obviously wasn't desperate and ready to kill. Most bears aren't, especially if they're in a populated area. But I've never seen a bear around here. That's crazy. I don't think there have really been bears around here.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
I feel like there's a part of the Constitution where the scorecard must be legible, and that was just a few too many illegible ones. I declare that there should be a recount because this, no one even, he doesn't even know what he gave me points for.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
I don't even remember what happened in this episode. I kind of blanked out there for a little bit, but I declared unfair. And, you know, honestly, I think the coin lied. I think this was still unfair. I will not abide by it, but I can't do anything about it.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But this was, it was obviously, I think it was a black bear, just real small. There's no grizzly bears in these parts, I don't think. Maybe, I don't know. No, those are in Memphis. If it wouldn't, it'd be surprising. But yeah, so yeah, bear. That was crazy. That's pretty cool. It was cool.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
Wow, look at that. Wow. It was, yeah. Amy and I afterwards were just like, that was really cool. It was a bear. And then the pups weren't scared that much because I think through the window, it just looks like a big dog. But as soon as they got outside and the bear was gone, this is the next day.
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
We didn't let him out at the same time in case that was like the kid bear and the mama bear was nearby.
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idk, some "Q"s
so but as soon as they went out and they started sniffing around chica doesn't care she's she's so brave honestly chica chica's only been scared of one person in her life uh ever but this this occasion henry was as soon as he started sniffing he's like oh no oh no and he wouldn't go past the porch he was just like there's a bear around
Distractible
idk, some "Q"s
I think they stand up on their back legs, put their paws like this, and just start pissing straight up.
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idk, some "Q"s
This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know, that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most. That's what Uber is all about.
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idk, some "Q"s
Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours. Uber, on our way to your house, Wade.
Distractible
Edutainment!
You just need, what is that, a couple hundred splitters? And technically we have to provide the clients with one of these random things, which, you know, they cost.
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Edutainment!
I'm glad that's all just hypothetical and doesn't exactly represent how it actually works in the business.
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Edutainment!
That's true, that's true, alright. Yeah, I could set a point threshold and if we don't get above that, the podcast is cancelled.
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Edutainment!
Honestly, it might be the most reasonable thing we've ever done on the podcast. So before we get into any of that though, we need to talk about our lives and what's going on in those lives or in the greater universe or local community.
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Edutainment!
We'll put the fiber optic internet business that we're going to start and take over the country with. I'm going to think about that while we do this. That's in the back. Because today is about learning. Oh, you all boo. I mean, yay. I love learning. Except I'm going to learn you this. Okay, hold on. Okay, hold on. Wait, wait, hold on. Hold on. Tell me if you can hear this. Three, two, one. What?
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Edutainment!
What? I hear you. Yeah, you hear it. Oh, you fucking liar. That's a minus for you. That's a minus, wave point. Worth it. You should lose the point for being tricked. Trick me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, then it's shame on me. Then I lose a point, if you trick me again.
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Edutainment!
Alright, yeah, there's a bonus there for you. Alright, okay, so I love that so much. Not because I really love chess, but because it is so goddamn impressive, the amount of stuff that's to teach a single chess move and sensationalize it in a way that's just so... Stafford Gambit! War das der gleiche Redner, der gefallen ist?
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Edutainment!
Wir sind jetzt in Krossepisode-Bits. Das ist Edutainment. Das ist Edutainment. Es ist edutainment. Du lernst etwas davon. Du lernst über den Stafford Gambit.
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Edutainment!
I watched that like 10 times in a row. I probably wouldn't be able to execute the Stafford Gambit, but I'd be able to get pretty close. And also probably no one would fall for it, or if it's a trick at all. I don't even know, but I know what the Stafford Gambit is. So I want you guys to present me with your favorite piece of edutainment. Edutainment. Edutainment.
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Edutainment!
Is there a time limit how old it can be? No, no, not at all. It could be anything. Anything from any time. This just happens to be a TikTok that I saw.
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Edutainment!
I'm going to give you a point before and I'm going to take it away if it's not worthy of that point. Ha!
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Edutainment!
So, for those who have never seen Mind Your Decisions, it's a YouTube channel and also a website. And if you go through it, it doesn't seem super entertaining off the bat, but I can understand what he's saying. It's like videos like only 1% can solve this and then solve for the magical angle.
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Edutainment!
It's like kind of like, you know, online IQ test type dilemmas that present a question and probably solve it. So, okay, I see that. All right. Okay. Das ist Edutainment. Ob seine Unternehmenswerte bestätigt werden, ist sicherlich edukationell. Und ich bin untertäuscht, es zu sehen. Das ist großartig. Das ist großartig.
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Edutainment!
Yeah, I haven't seen that one. I saw like the coffee one or the serving drinks or cash register one.
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Edutainment!
in the work day i'm sure at that time when that came out they rolled their eyes but right now whatever they have in current day training videos it was not superior to that that's the truest uh form of edutainment and for companies like that is a big thing it's just like how do you get your new employees to retain the information and it has to be entertaining in some way to capture their attention because no one likes watching training videos but you know it is they're usually pretty terrible
Distractible
Edutainment!
Meine Trainingsvideos bei der Ingenieurarbeit, die ich hatte, waren einfach... Ich erinnere mich an Drehschule und als ich mit United Dairy Farmers gearbeitet habe, erinnere ich mich an die Eiscreme-Videos.
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Edutainment!
Alright. Schoolhouse Rock, I'm gonna call that all just like under the umbrella.
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Edutainment!
Yes. All right. That's down there. Specifically school, just a bill, but I'm going to call that all schoolhouse rock. So all schoolhouse rock is off limits now.
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Edutainment!
I'll let it be a showdown for Bill Nye bits, because since I've already let him have all of Schoolhouse Rock, let's say, if you both can come up with a bit, I'll put both bits on the board. It won't even be a competition.
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Edutainment!
Alright, that's Wade's claim to Bill Nye. Bob, what's your claim, if you have one?
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Edutainment!
Yeah, I don't think he's going to bring up another TED Talk. As far as entertainment value goes, TED Talks in general are probably not the most edutainment. Because edutainment is specifically, I'm putting it on. It's here, it's here, don't worry. But I'd say edutainment is more specifically entertainment more than just educational. I guess that's fair. Because TED Talks are just educational.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Sorry to interject here, but there's coincidentally educational things, more by education as in don't ever do what you're seeing here. There was a video of someone, it was some TV show, I think, or maybe a YouTube channel, where they were trying a whole bunch of different things, whether it was for therapeutic purposes, but either way, they were smoking some kind of frog venom.
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Edutainment!
Have you ever seen this? No. No. That doesn't sound like a good idea at all. It was not a good idea. Because the people said like, it goes 50-50. Either you have a really beautiful journey where you feel nothing but love or you're...
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Edutainment!
flung headfirst into hell and you stay there for a long long time and the first guy to go got flung into hell so hard he just started like freaking out throwing up he He started spasming, he slid into a river where he was like face down in the water spasming. While the guy guiding them through this is like, it's okay, relax, while he's in the water like face down, just inhaling water.
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Edutainment!
Horrible experience. And the guy who's gonna go second is watching this and the camera cuts and he's just like... But that guy does it still and he has the all love beautiful journey. See? 50-50, and I learned to never, ever, ever do that.
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Edutainment!
I now know who you're talking about, because it sounds like, oh, what a lovely channel. And then you go to their channel, and he's got a video that's like, how to bottle feed a baby beaver. And the next video is, how to raise beavers for meat. It's all memes, but yes. I fed a ground dog to my prairie dog. Big ounce dies. How to catch and cook baby owls. Emotional.
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Edutainment!
I think there is some learning to be had there, so I'm putting it on as Urban Rescue Ranch.
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Edutainment!
Actually, people said on the subreddit that there really wasn't anything more I could do, which I guess makes sense.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Wait, I've got one image of this I want to share, because I think this really puts forward exactly what this is about. Jesus! It's a clown on a unicycle behind an explosion with fire all around a courtyard and it says, Larry was expelled into the wicker courtyard for his misdeeds. Ha! I really like it. I've never heard of that game.
Distractible
Edutainment!
So I got three down, Troy Bookweaver, Math Blaster, and Zoominis. I would say Math Blaster of those is the more specific edutainment, but I've got them all on the list. Wade, last chance.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Alright, I'm putting it on the list. Alright, and that's it. Judgment is closed. You know, just some honorable mentions that weren't brought up. Bob, you made me remember dumb ways to die with the Darwin Awards. Oh yeah. And I feel like if that specific piece of media was mentioned, that's pretty up there for edutainment. That was about rail safety in Australia? Something like that.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Specifically, all of those deaths were leading up to don't stand in front of the yellow line in train stations. That was the whole purpose of that cartoon. I didn't actually know that. I thought it was just for fun. No, that's how entertaining it was.
Distractible
Edutainment!
And educational, even though the education that it was trying to put across wasn't really remembered as much because all the other ones don't do the dumb things.
Distractible
Edutainment!
And then Kurzgesagt, which was not mentioned, but is a great channel with tons of informational and educational things. Honestly, Amy sometimes thinks it's too existential because they often talk about crises of the universe exploding and things like that. And it's for some people it can be stressful. But those were honorable mentions that I wanted to bring up. So here's how it's going to work.
Distractible
Edutainment!
I'm looking at your list. And the reason I put down everything is because I have a ranking one to five. And I'm going to rank who gave the most edutainable ranking. Given that Stafford Gambit was like the bar I set is like, this is crazy entertaining and still, it actually teaches you a chess move. Very educational.
Distractible
Edutainment!
So I put that like, I'm going to rank number one has to be close to that-ish and that's how I'm going to order these. So give me two minutes to narrow down this list and then I'm going to do-do-do-do. Feeling pretty good about my list. How about you, Bob?
Distractible
Edutainment!
Es gibt tausende, tausende, tausende solcher guten Sachen. Ich habe es bis zu fünf genähert. Es ist schwer für mich zu beurteilen zwischen den beiden Bill Nye-Suggestionen. Oh, du musst einen wählen. Bobs war spezifisch, aber ich erinnere mich auch darauf, dass viele der Bratibais lustig waren. Und sie haben manchmal ein kleines kleines Stückchen gelernt, aber ich weiß nicht.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Würdest du eine Penne fliegen? Nein, ich habe ein kleines... Es ist nicht eine Karte, aber es wird es nie zeigen. Es hat zwei Seiten.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Okay, all right. Bist du bereit? In Nummer 5 habe ich Urban Rescue gespielt. Ich nehme es. Ich bin auf der Liste. Das ist mehr als erwartet. So, in number four we have Math Blaster. I ranked Math Blaster versus Operation Neptune as head-to-head on Amazon reviews, because it's the only place that sold both of them.
Distractible
Edutainment!
I had assumed that the first thing you would do was try a different cable, which would necessitate you unplugging from both ends. I did try that, which is crazy.
Distractible
Edutainment!
So we had Math Blaster in search of spot, which is the one I played, and I believe that's the one Bob was talking about, versus Super Solvers Operation Neptune, which had a 3.5 out of 5 stars, and Math Blaster had a 3.6. So just barely, Math Blasters eked out the rating of that. However, if it was Math Blasters Adventure Math...
Distractible
Edutainment!
Das hat eine 3.4, aber ich glaube nicht, dass das der war, den die Leute eigentlich gespielt haben. Ich habe gespielt in Bezug auf Spot, also es ist wie, abhängig davon, welche Version es vielleicht oben oder unten ist, aber nach meiner Erfahrung mit Math Blasters in Bezug auf Spot, das setzt es auf die 4 für Bob. Und dann, Nummer 3, habe ich einen Toss-Up gemacht. Ich habe einen Coin gemacht.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Wir haben zwei Bill Nye Dinge. Wade hat Bill Nye zuerst gesagt. Bob hat Spezifika gesagt. Und dann hat er noch einen geklaut. Ich kenne das nicht wirklich. Es war Heads für Bob, Tails für Wade. Es landet Tails. Wade bekommt Nummer 3 Spots.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Look, I don't know what to tell you. That's just the way it turned up. Number two. And I find myself shocked that I put this above Bill Nye, because I cherish Bill Nye, but I can't deny, I remember every single Schoolhouse Rock thing. I've ever been shown, Schoolhouse Rock lands in at number two.
Distractible
Edutainment!
And at number one, the one that is closest to what I presented with the Stafford Gambit in terms of that specific genre, is the Wendy's Training Video. Because it just, it had a song, so much education, I learned so much, I felt so much. Number five, Wendy's tops the list.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Wendy's gets Bob plus 5 points. Alright. So Bob gets plus 5. Schoolhouse Rock gets Wade plus 4 points. Bill Nye gets Wade plus 3 points. Uh oh. Math Blaster gets Bob plus 2 points. So just by those rankings it's tied. Urban Rescue gives Wade. Urban Rescue was mine. Oh Gott. Oh Gott.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Wait, you just said the whole thing was a trick to trick me. You tricked me twice. Yes. No, I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna play that. Of course I'm not. Damn it. I could get out of the wheel by claiming that, but I'm not gonna because fuck me then, I guess.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Dude, I made a ranking! He did make a ranking. I talked it all through. I could have said Math Blaster went the other way, which would make a decisive winner, but I go with the version I played, and that's what the score is on Amazon.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Oh, no. Oh, it's fine. Oh, God, what are you... Don't scare me like that. What's wrong with you? So close. Was that a trick? Were you tricking me?
Distractible
Edutainment!
All right, Wade, congratulations. You won. It was a very close game between the two of you. We learned a lot. We were very educated. And now the one-man show goes up to 12%.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Okay, well, somehow I'm depressed. We also didn't mention Mythbusters, which I just remembered. Ooh, that's a great one, yeah. Too bad, they're not there. So if you guys have any edutainable things, post them to the subreddit, the distractible subreddit. Thank you, Bob and Wade, for participating. Look forward to Wade hosting in the next episode. DistractibleStore.com for merch while it's there.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Tell me what not to do. Fair enough, fair enough, but it's not on the list. Thank you for listening and or watching. Podcast out.
Distractible
Edutainment!
I'm confirming this tech point. That seems weird enough and you solved it by whatever magic, whatever machine god you prayed to. The Omnissiah blessed you. I call him JP.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Break! Break! Break! Break! Break now! Break now! It'll never break! It's not gonna break!
Distractible
Edutainment!
Well, you've got it so far, but if your monitor dies at any point in the episode, I will take that one away.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Well, I guess you don't have to. You could be a liar. I'm gonna look at your irises and I'm gonna zoom in and see which monitors are active.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Did the bit work? Yes. Okay, good. Yeah, it worked. Well, that's good. All right, Wade, good tech update. Very proud of you for figuring that out. And honestly, I've been dealing with a similar thing with networking. Networking is one of the weaknesses in technology that I don't fully understand and I'm only just starting to. It's so complicated. It's so complicated.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Ja, unnötig so. Du musst immer noch ein bisschen Programmieren wissen, um deine Netzwerke auf und running zu bekommen, oder um was auch immer remote zu accessieren, ohne eine kompatible Software dafür. Aber wenn du ein bisschen Command-Line-Level-Stuff tun musst, musst du ein bisschen wissen.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Welche Netzwerke benötigst du? Ich glaube nicht, dass ich das jemals gemacht habe. Also, was ich mache, ist, dass ich ein... Also, ich habe mein Haupt-Haus-Netzwerk und es hat seinen eigenen Server, wie einen kleinen. Und dann habe ich einen remote für den Server, den Render-Farm, den ich baue. But networking in between them is really complicated.
Distractible
Edutainment!
So I have fiber optic internet, but I also have fiber optic cable going there. And to get that to work requires a very specific coupler at the end of it that goes with the wavelength of light that it's using, whether it's LC or LS. And you have to have a specific receiver that can take it and understand it.
Distractible
Edutainment!
And then they communicate with each other and you got to get the order right because it's two prongs. And it's not just A goes in A and B goes in B. On the other side, B has to go in A and A. Because it's got to be the out to the in and the in to the out has to go to each one. It's not just one plug. So it gets complicated really fast.
Distractible
Edutainment!
And if you get the wrong connector, well, you're waiting two days for the next one to come in, buddy. Like it's, yeah, so.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Weißt du, was lustig ist? Es bringt die alten Tage zurück, wie man in eine Kartoffel bricht, weil man den Ende sauber halten muss. Du solltest es wahrscheinlich nicht brüllen, aber wenn es dunkel ist, gehst du... No, probably like compressed air or something would be preferable.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Hello and welcome to Distractible, the podcast where I'm the host and I judge the worthiness of both you, the audience, and the competitors that are here today. Today is an audience versus competitors episode. No stop. That would be fun though, wouldn't it?
Distractible
Edutainment!
That's why I'm giving you a point calling you Power Master. Yes. We must all refer to Bob as the Power Master. Please do. Wait, I'll call you Plug Man.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Yeah, you do. No need to worry about it. It's fine. Other thing about networking that's really cool is once you discover the potential of power over Ethernet, it is fucking magical. Du brauchst keine Elektrizität dazu, du führst es einfach von deinem Netzwerk. Das ist wirklich cool. Also Sicherheitskameras und solche Sachen. Und auch Lichter. Du kannst Lichter in einzelnen Orten haben.
Distractible
Edutainment!
But also, I don't know anything about it. It's surprisingly simple, a lot simpler than what it seems like. That part of networking is not that bad.
Distractible
Edutainment!
No, I actually got my own RJ25 stripper and crimper. And crimper? Oh, dude, those are so fun. It's so satisfying to click.
Distractible
Edutainment!
I will, I will. I'm gonna make tons of terminations, because it's got a guide in there and everything, so you can see exactly what wire is. Yeah, you just gotta get the wires in the right order, and then you click.
Distractible
Edutainment!
You can! Wait, actually, future business idea. Forget the movie theater, forget all that. Web 4.0? Are we making Web 4.0?
Distractible
Edutainment!
So the way it works is I'm going to judge them and I'm going to assign points based on what they have to offer. And then the winner will host the next episode. If there is a winner, wink.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Yeah, I got you. Yeah, I can't say that my GPA probably dipped below 3, but I want to show you something. Get on my back, boys. We're going 4.0. So here's the thing, right? We can start our own Internet provider business because if you look at this, so this is one of the networking companies that sells parts and you can get home networking stuff. Bis zum nächsten Mal.
Distractible
Edutainment!
Look at this. Fiber. So we can deliver 10 gigabits per second to over 2,000. That's only 2 million a month to us. I mean, really, we'll be breaking even.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I hope that's true. I kind of knew. I know it's true. Anyway, that's what I'm mad about. And I can't wait to find out that the horrors that I imagined are even worse than I ever could have. Was that your small talk, Mark? Did we circle that? Yeah, that was it. I'll say that's my small talk.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Okay, so we have pennies, you give us an imaginary space, we hide the pennies, and then we look for the other pennies?
Distractible
Hide The Penny
But how will we know that we're imagining the same setting that you're imagining?
Distractible
Hide The Penny
my turn yeah go ahead all right i go up to the handle for the espresso i crack it open and i peer inside the cup the the part where the coffee grounds go that then lock in clean as a whistle it's funny though because that was my first thought i was like what did i put in the coffee filter yeah well that's the game isn't it we're trying to get in each other's heads right now okay when
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Ah, that'll be fine. Hey, why doesn't this say E Pluribus Unum? There it is, tiny.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
All right. Okay. Now I'm going straight line for it. I know how Wade thinks.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I look at the orange juice carton because people wouldn't think about that. Unscrew that cap. Look in the cap.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
It was perfectly penny sized. So I want you to try and put a penny in there. I am thinking of the most incredible places to hide a penny. The absolute best spots.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I stand on a table and I shout to everyone in the coffee shop. I will give $100 to the first person that points to where you saw someone hide a penny. I raise my hand. All right. Wade raises his hand. Uh-huh.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Convince me. Did he take his turn by getting, raising his hand? I feel like he took his turn. Sure. I check in the cash register. This seems incredibly good. I look in the cash register for any pennies that look unplaced. Because if it was, if they're pennies from the bank, they would be almost likely of the same year. I'm looking for a weird penny with snot on it and bald.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Look at the difference in image quality. Wade's looks like it's... Yeah, it's pretty extreme.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Weird bald Lincoln penny. How did you know I sand down all my pennies to look like me? What a calling card.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
i know wade's shoe size i tell everyone in the coffee shop to lift their feet and i dust the floor for footprints and i find wade's big dumb shoes because no one has feet as big as him in this shop for sure statistically impossible for there to be another i don't know if that's true bob is in here too
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I've got it down to two spots. I know where this penny is. All right, make your guess. Wait, I'm not ready. It's his turn.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Game over. Sorry, Wade. You were one step too late. I go up to the checkout person clerk. You wouldn't. Sure. And I go behind their ear and I grab out the penny and I go, is this your penny?
Distractible
Hide The Penny
i don't know pennies rattle weird my turn my game over game over wade i sprinting towards the bathroom pass by the stereo crank volume up to max as i'm sprinting by first open the door dive arm first into the toilet reach up under the u-bend grab whatever i grab pull hard the man sitting there looks at you
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I turn on every faucet. I flush every toilet and listen and look. Sounds like a lot of water is running and flushing very normally to you. I see the negative space in the water. I use water as a catalyst for my negative space enhanced vision that I got from a surgery I was when I was in the government.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I go to the man whose shit I borrowed, I grab him by the scruff, and I throw him on the ground, tell him, NEAL! And I stand on his back to get higher, and look around then.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Oddly enough, I had a take a penny, leave a penny thought, but I was like, no, that'd be a convenience store. It wouldn't be a coffee shop.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
The model train actually was at a Starbucks. I remember there was a really fancy Starbucks in Seattle or somewhere like that that had a little model train.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I have to do it or I'm going to go to a distracted jail. I recently started watching some videos about forging carbon fiber, right? Sure. Which is not really what it is. It's not like you're in a furnace or anything. It's just epoxy pouring a bunch of carbon fiber all fucked into a mold, right? Yeah, exactly. Some of those were real words. And so, no, that's exactly what it was.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I look in the pile of beer bottle caps that are in the mug of beer, the beer mug that they have to make it seem like they drink all the time. I look in there.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
But what's cool about it is if you get the right heat resistant epoxy and you get a heat resistant mold, you can get all your molds from 3D printing. So you can 3D print the negative of any part you could possibly want and then forge carbon fiber with it. But also, not only do you put the chopped carbon fiber in, but you can put long strands of reinforcing fiber along the length of your part.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Where's your penny, Mark? Where's your penny? In the room. So is mine. Anyway, I go over to the creature in the corner. I lift whatever's on it off of it. And I go, hey, how's it going there? Oh, aren't you cute? Hey, what have you said, buddy? What's in your mouth? What's in your, open your mouth.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I also, hearing the sound of what might have been a penny, dive into the filth, and I try to form the exact shape that the... I strip my clothes, and I try to get into the position that that person was just in to try to see from that level where a penny might be.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
And that will make it twice, about twice as strong as aluminum in some cases. And this is with chopped fiber, like pieces, not straight. Obviously carbon fiber by itself would be way stronger, but the idea of quickly in a 24 hour period, turning around a custom part that is twice as strong as aluminum without having to CNC mill it, that appeals to me.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I press on into the wind. I will find the source of the stink. No matter what, I go into the wind. I don't remember what Penny smelled like, but it must be a clue. It must. I don't think Penny smelled like muck.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
The condoms at least weren't used. I specified that in my clue. Yeah, the condoms were safe, man. I was hoping you'd see the sock and turn around. I didn't expect you to go into it. Bob's too good at hiding his penny. I don't think we're ever going to find his penny.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
You said three of the four pillars had pennies. What did the fourth pillar have? Paper towels for some reason.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Nothing in there but vapes. I pull, I rip one of the vapes. And I say to Wade, it's been a year since I quit. I just need a little. I won't become addicted.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Shut up. It's my turn. My turn. Sure, man. You can have it. I turn to Wade. Rip his pants down. Rip his shirt up. Look all over. Turn to you, Bob. Rip your pants down. Rip your shirt up. Look all around. Open your hands. Open your hands. Both of you. Open your hands. Spread your cheeks.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Yeah. And there's there's some really interesting videos talking about that. bamboo lab i know everyone's kind of mad at you right now but i'm willing to sell out for more 3d printers is that convincing man whenever you say it like that how could they refuse
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I huff and I puff and I blow the dust off of every piece of furniture. OK, I'm hoping that will turn something up.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
How deep? Oh, like large wooden rattle. Give me the, give me the note in the scale, like a C2 or... Like a D2. Like the knife? Yeah, okay. It's a knife. It's a knife.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
So close. That half where I might have heard a low D2-ish rattling, I grab a giant magnet, throw it away because copper is not magnetic.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Bamu Lab, I know you are looking for a silver lining. I'm your silver lining. I can bring goodness to any badness that you may be feeling from any terms of service changing catastrophically.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I'm really honing in on this weird low rattling thingamabob. And I want to kind of push aside anything as I'm pushing. I'm listening for the rattling and I'm getting closer and closer to it. I keep pushing, shaking, shoving, pushing, shove, push, shake, shake, push, shove, shove, touch, shake, push, shake. Oh, what are you touching?
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Oh, that's quite the turn. Yeah, well, I'm trying to find that rattling.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I was wading through stuff in a line, in a straight line, pushing, shoving, touching, pushing.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I use the last of my turn to turn to Wade and smile like this. Does he see me? Do you see him?
Distractible
Hide The Penny
What have you two done? All right, I step back from the wall. After pressing my ear, I go, it's in the walls. IT'S IN THE GODDAMN WALLS and I start ripping the boards as hard as I can just rip and give them digging my fingers and ripping fingernails off blood spew and everything what an inefficient way to get into a wall
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I forgot this was a haunted house. I go to Wade, I was like, this was a haunted house? I thought this was your grandma's house! I shouldn't have searched the report card first.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Maybe it's not scary. Maybe he's right. I wade through the bodies. I just start stomping. Just... I push, touch, I shove, I push, I touch, I touch, shove, push. Checking all the pockets. We're all naked still, by the way. Are they naked or are the bodies naked? I check the pockets. I check their other pockets. Everyone living and dead, all naked. Checking, checking, checking, pushing, checking.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
What pockets are you checking? Checking all the pockets. Checking, checking all of them. Making my way to the center of this weird room.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
basically uh yes actually technically yeah yeah that's fancy stuff so i owned one at one point in life too yeah so but hey in all honesty bamboo labs i will shill out for free 3d printers yes i could afford them i want 20 we're a team so that's 60 20 a piece or else wait you're gonna need a bigger garage to keep that many things in boxes with you wouldn't want to end up with a bam boo boo
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I ate a nut! I didn't eat chips. That's true. Wade ate one chocolate-covered peanut.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I have to give you a point for that, but I'm very disappointed in myself. I thought it was very funny. I actually really enjoyed that one.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
That's gotta be me. That's gotta be me. Look how I'm so put together right now. Wait, bite your lower lip.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I plumbed the depths of my own perseverance to eke out the victory in this episode. I dug deeper and dug further. I pressed on. And I think that's a lesson. Perseverance will always, always pay out in the end. Doesn't matter how many bodies you uncover. Doesn't matter how much shit you go through. Hey, if you keep trying, you're gonna get there. And sometimes, you gotta look up. Keep looking up.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Yeah, but I really, except for every time it's clogged and I've hated it, which is multiple times. which is near constant. The bamboo lab. I will say it's the greatest thing ever because actually, in all honesty, compared to the failure rates you have on other 3D printers, I imagine that it actually is pretty comparable and it's okay. And I want to shill for it. Shill me, shill me, shill me.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Gamers don't look up. It's true. I can't wait to be declared the victor in this upcoming season. It's happening. Probably. This is my year. This is my year.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
that's fair i feel pretty good about that in the past three days i have installed a completely new drawer system in my truck i have a new truck on the way i've bought three guns you decked bro I've shot two grenade launchers, 17 RPGs, a tank, cleaned all my bullets. I'm starting to think the only thing of this that was true was the drawer. I got the drawers in. No, I know some of that's true.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Yeah, yeah. Which ones? I'll never tell. But yeah, I got the drawer system in there. Is it decked? Are you decked? You got decked? Yes, I'm decked. I'm decked. From Ohio, apparently. I didn't know that. We have trucks. They all are terrible here.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
I have a bone to pick with deck, though. So I have this deck system, but I have a problem with it. Number one, your manual is the most cringy thing I've ever read in my entire life. It's full of, all right, slow down there, champ. Hey, we'll kick up your feet, buddy. Wow, do a spin kick in the air after you... It's just the dumbest... It's like...
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Number one, it's instructions for babies, which I get. It's just so, it's toddler level language. So we admit that truck drivers are toddlers. Thank you. That's what they're trying to say. That's what they're trying. Like, it's just, I read the manual and I'm just like, I hate reading it. It's true. Yeah, probably. Yeah, actually.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Get the big screws and then not the small screws. Take the 72-inch extruded aluminum rails. Also, the instructions were incomplete because it didn't actually mention any of the weatherproofing besides the weatherstrip seals on the front of it. They're not incomplete. It's just early access.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
it's gonna be patched i've got an even bigger bone to pick with them so they have this puzzle fit foam case right that they sell separately for supposedly the decked system right maybe not but i see it in drawers of people now when i open mine i pull it open and the fucking thing is this thing
Distractible
Hide The Penny
far under the lip so i can't fucking open the goddamn minute man case when i pull the drawer i have to lift it up and out and then open it and i get it i probably have a truck with a slightly below average bed length and it would be bigger if it was a different drawer system but i see on the product page someone pulling the drawer all the way out and it opening perfectly and i'm like wow they got
Distractible
Hide The Penny
i'll have it too i don't and i'm mad because it's a 300 case that i would not have gotten if i thought even for a fucking moment it wouldn't have opened in the goddamn drawer mark it's a point for a big baby tantrum
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Wait, hold on a second. There's reviews here. Works great, but you fail to tell me it doesn't work in the older models of DECT. Hey, Al, sorry for the confusion. We'll work on improving our communication about new decode cases not being compatible with legacy drawer systems. Did you send me a fucking old version of your DECT?
Distractible
Hide The Penny
system decked did you send me a fucking old version of it you pieces of shit what i'll bet they're watching right now have you turned it off and then on again Because I don't know. Maybe it's not that, but it doesn't open.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Yeah, it's not an elongated cab for sure. No. But if I find out that they've sent me an old version, I am going to be back here again and I'm going to chew them apart because I like what it is. It was easy to set up and it works great, except that doesn't fit. Now kick up your feet, partner.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
It was a tactical reload of my deodorant, okay? You know, we can't smell you over the internet, so it's really... I mean, that was for you, I guess. Maybe you smell so bad you can't stand yourself. Everything I do is for me.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
We might be. We actually might be. I might be fucking pissed. But maybe it's just because my bed is five and a half feet and it's not a six foot bed. It's the Ford Lightning. Maybe it's not there, but I wish it would have said somewhere when all this was in the same cart at the same time. I wish it would have said that didn't fit.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Okay, well, I'm bigger than that, okay? Right? Why do you assume that that's a slight at you? It felt like it, you know? I was just saying. I'm huge. I'm giant. I'm massive. I'm enormous. I'm gargantuan.
Distractible
Hide The Penny
Anyway, I really, really hope that I somehow didn't get an older version because I would. Maybe they saw I was going to California and they were like, this fucking guy. Not an Ohioan like us. Little did they know.
Distractible
Acronyms, But Better
You know, those little, like... What are your thoughts on immigrants? Let me just do a quick taste test real quick.
Distractible
Acronyms, But Better
You could just stay on your hands and knees and keep picking up, you know.
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Acronyms, But Better
You know, I don't have any pity for you because your dogs are tiny. My dogs aren't even large dogs, but they're big dogs, and that means they have big poops all the time. So much poop. An unbelievable amount of poop. But thankfully, it's stacked so high off the ground, I don't have to bend. It's not that I'm lower to the ground. I
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Acronyms, But Better
On my hand? No. But I empathize with the odor. Why do you empathize with that? I'm just trying to make him feel like his story has substance when in reality it's a big nothing burger and I don't want him to feel bad about it.
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Acronyms, But Better
your empathy is through the roof mark it gets a point for being empathetic and supportive i somehow feel worse after it but that's how people empathize right they're really in their heads like man this fucking guy but outside they're like oh that's basically it yeah that's empathy right as an empath i agree
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Acronyms, But Better
In church, taking communion, everyone's eating their wafers. You're like, idiots. Stupid.
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Acronyms, But Better
It's serendipitous that this occurred right at the launch of a new generation of cards, but my computer suddenly started working properly again. After I had bought the hardware for a brand new computer build that I was going to replace it with.
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Acronyms, But Better
You know what I like about gag-gag is if you just, it's really funny, you just go gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag and then you're Mr. Krabs.
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Acronyms, But Better
Yeah. I mean, even the actual phrase for your information does sound like you're pushing up your glasses for your information. I'll have you know. I'll have you know would be a better one because actually it means what it says. I-H-Y-K.
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Acronyms, But Better
Actually, how you have to say that one. It's Ethan in the hooked on phonics episode.
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Acronyms, But Better
The V is the crux of it that makes it a little more difficult. What about SMFS? Save my fucking seat. Oh, I was building acronyms for RSVP. That's not what we're doing. In my head. I was like, why is the V so difficult, Mark? You don't have to use it.
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Acronyms, But Better
And that made me laugh in my head. But that's not the game we're playing. Dick with a P? You mean penis.
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Acronyms, But Better
I just feel like this is why I'm slower to learn languages is just because words don't go good in my head. That's why names I can't remember.
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Acronyms, But Better
This is hard. I made fun of Mark and then I immediately got made fun of myself. That's how it goes, man. That's how it goes.
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Acronyms, But Better
Y-G-B-W, you're gonna be wrong, because you'll do the test wrong the first time.
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Acronyms, But Better
My brain was working overtime in the beginning and then failed me towards the end. I think I got thrown off my game by my disconnect. And then my brain just went elsewhere. And that's where it all went downhill from there. So well done, Wade. Ample performance. Kudos.
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Acronyms, But Better
I believe the specs for the 4090 is that it can support four 5K monitors.
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Acronyms, But Better
Okay, so you don't have anything else in there. Okay, yeah. So there's no PCI-based internal capture card or anything else, right? Mm-mm. Okay, well, then that may not be an issue.
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Acronyms, But Better
But I got to tell you, one of the things that I think people are going to realize this generation of graphics cards is the same thing that has been happening every other generation, which is incremental improvements, except the 4090 was an exception to the rule. The 3090 to the 4090 was actually a nearly... double jump in performance. And that is unprecedented going from generation to generation.
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Acronyms, But Better
It just so happens with the actual node, the transistor node that they used, and they went over to TSMC, I think from Samsung, I believe. But it was such a massive improvement. People are expecting the 59 to be another quantum leap. It's not. It's
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Acronyms, But Better
like 25 better in some really good cases 15 in others and at way higher power consumption if your worry is like power consumption it's i don't think it's going to be good for you and i think that the 4090 is going to be one of those graphics cards that for a long time down the road people are going to be like yeah actually this is a longevity card this is a real doozer of a card i'm like i'm just cautioning you i don't think the 5090 will be perfect for you
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Acronyms, But Better
Bless you. But weird bless you. Yeah, I don't know. When it comes down to computer hardware, I know a lot of it right now because I've just been building like a nonstop slew of computers and stuff. And what I realize is that buying the absolute top of the line stuff is never the right move. But you can get great deals on.
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Acronyms, But Better
previous generation stuff and get almost equivalent performance out of it because you save so much money you get something that is tried and tested usually when people are selling their used things they work right and if you buy them and they test them because they've been working them for years and computer hardware is supposed to last a long time so it's like technically i think people don't play the secondhand market nearly enough and i'm not even talking about like scalpers i'm like
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Acronyms, But Better
The used market for computer hardware, except for hard drives, is a very special case. You've got to be really picky about what you're doing there. But if it works, and it's a reputable seller, you can get some great deals.
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Acronyms, But Better
unless you're doing actual like color accurate extreme fidelity work that requires you to have the highest quality monitor like when I was when I'm still working on the movie I needed to get a monitor that was you know HDR and have an accurate color accuracy that was good but even then I overpaid with what I got because I got the the dumb Apple one with the trypophobia back on it which I hate it weighs a bajillion pounds it's barely bigger than a monitor that I could get and
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Acronyms, But Better
And it really isn't actually that good of a technology. But it was $5,000. I regret that purchase immensely.
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Acronyms, But Better
why not i never never splurge on nice things let's do it worst decision of my pc life i'm surprised that customer support isn't actually helping you because they're not working right i bought a monitor a long time ago before i even did youtube um i bought a professional hp monitor i don't know why i need i said i needed it but i i justified it myself it was 800 and back when i was in college it was like 800 was a huge it still is obviously but compared to a 5 000 monitor i just bought
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Acronyms, But Better
perspective wise it was a huge investment I was like okay I'm gonna buy this it'll be great there was one dead pixel in the dead center of it like one pixel was completely dead but I called up their customer support I was like there's a dead pixel they were like just send it back no questions asked so I don't know why they're not helping you
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Acronyms, But Better
There have been documented cases of people that don't know any of us from our content who has found this podcast through other means of podcast platforms and has found this to be an enjoyable experience despite not knowing who we are. And man, oh man, am I tired of making those accounts.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
very explicitly no is there a recording of my phone call that i had for several hours with that gentleman who promised me a new fridge and apparently there is and apparently the recording and some information was sent to some manager somewhere who's not going to do a fucking thing about it while i'm on the phone and this is happening and i'm literally like i had to get out like my my disapproving parent voice like i literally at one point she was like
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Yeah, I don't think there's anything we can do, you know, but I don't think we can get you a fridge before Thanksgiving. I would say just go back to the store and do like a new order. And I was like, that is unacceptable. This is not an outcome that works for us. Thanksgiving, you know, Thanksgiving, you remember food, fridge, company, all that shit.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I won't either, unless I lose. If we lose, oh. This is officially a red flag moment. So if you guys remember by the end of the episode, whoever loses has a very legitimate red flag to throw. But I think E-Ink does qualify as physical because it's physically like Etch-A-Sketching to the top.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And she was like, oh, yeah, I've got lots of food in my fridge at home waiting for my company to come in. I was like, yeah, yeah, no, I know. And like, I didn't actually scream at that lady cause it wasn't her fault explicitly, but man, was she completely useless.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And while this is all happening, the delivery guys are like slowly, quietly sneaking the fridge out the door and they have it all loaded up on the truck. And I'm still on the phone. And at one point he comes in and he's like, sir, do you want to talk to you? And I'm like, and she just starts talking. And I'm like, hang on, talk on the phone.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And they're like in the act of trying to sneak away like the Lowe's delivery guys did without what, when I come out the door, cause I'm finally free. I'm like, what did you, what's up? What did you want? And he's like, sir, I just wanted to make sure that, you know, this was not our fault. At which point I was like, man, you should have really just snuck away and not said a fucking word, huh?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I don't know. I've I've worked at resin restaurants and I get it that you don't want people to be mad at you. Every fucking step of the way, the guys who were at the house this morning were like, oh, man, we don't have a fridge. Not our fault. We don't load the truck. We're sorry about that. But we didn't do it.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
shut up i don't think it's your fault but you're the one who's here representing the fault so and i didn't even yell at them i just got so quiet that i think i scared them away again like i did with the first guys Anyway, they left before seven. They were gone. The shadows at noon. That's fucking something.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I don't know. Like the shadows that Gandalf chased away when he came at the light of the first dawn. Sure. The two towers.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
You remember when he came down the hill? They look to the east on the light of the third day. And there he was gone like my hair at 28. And Pippin was like, do they have a fridge with them? No, they don't. They fucking don't. Got no fridges anywhere. Anyway, they're gone.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
You know how to fridge the guy, the chancellor, whatever, the chaplain, the guy on the throne eating his tomatoes. Where do you think he got them from? Palpatine. Yeah, that guy. Palpatine, when he was eating tomatoes on the death star. Vader, I prefer them fried. I remember. I remember that movie very explicitly. I remember. I'll have a Waldorf salad.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Yeah, no, I love those movies. That's a great, that's a great franchise. Young Skywalker after lunch. The beacons of Gondor are lit. Riders of Rohan. Rohan will answer the call. Is that Smoda? I don't have Yoda. Okay, just I'm just trying to play along.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Guests arrive in under 48 hours. 14 people arrive in under 48 hours. And right now our kitchen has an empty hole in it. And the best I could get was an answering machine at the actual Best Buy where we bought this from. which I will say was a lot of my experience previously.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
It's like an outlet, which is not a thing that's very common, but it's like a Best Buy outlet store, so they don't have a full staff. They don't always answer the phone. They're always kind of short staff.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And then what, it's a Lowe's? Worst buy? It's only an okay buy. They got me. Oh, that was the other thing. The one thing about the guy on the phone, he was great. But after a while, I talked to him and I was like, yeah, it's broken. And it's, you know, we need to fix that. We need an exchange. They tried to charge us for delivery after all of that.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
mark just grabs a real piece of paper like never mind i'm getting the points out here no i mean that's true that's fair it it requires electricity but once it's done been electrified then it is written physically it's pretty much counts yeah i don't know how it remembers each time but i guess it's just all instructions for the whatever magnets are happening there yeah it must just like save whatever the last screen was and then in the ink goes back where it's supposed to go
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And I was like, please come fix like either fix or take this broken ass fridge. And he was like, OK, and that'll be 120 bucks for delivery and disposal of a fridge. And I was like, uh, try again. And he thought about it for a second and he didn't even say anything. He was like, oh yeah, can you hold a sec? I'm going to go talk to my manager. But otherwise, he was great.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
But they tried to charge us for delivery for the fucking fridge. Well, to be fair, they got to deliver another one, man. Well, imagine if they charged me for delivery to not deliver anything this morning at my house. The thing is, it's not over.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I'm still living with the sword hanging over my head because we found a place, a local place, not a big box place, that had the fridge that we want and they could deliver it for...
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
relatively expensive fee but for still actually a really good deal on the fridge overall they could deliver it tomorrow the wednesday before thanksgiving so we had another podcast episode tomorrow then i still have an empty hole and we might have a fridge but also we don't and i have i literally just don't even have hope that it's gonna happen like we left that store and i was like
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
better find the next store we're gonna try and buy a fridge from there's no way these guys are gonna come through like fucking dumb question basement fridge probably can't hold what you needed to hold we we are like very stocked like the freezer probably couldn't hold another anything and the fridge is like very full it's one of those where everyone you know people show up on thanksgiving at least in our family everyone's gonna show up with like a dish that they brought right like you're gonna bring and they're gonna be like oh stick this in the fridge and it's like
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
But also it means to cook anything. I'm about to have to cook a whole shitload of food. I have to go up and down to the basement, which is very first world problem. But it's just like an extra pain in the ass, right? I'm cooking food for 14 people. It's not a thing I do a lot. Well, 16. Molinari coming too. I mean, they didn't invite us, but...
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Uh, but anyway, this was not nearly the hilarious, uh, calamity that the first time was, but why the fuck can't I just buy a fridge? If the one comes tomorrow and it's good, that's going to be the fourth fridge that I've bought in eight years. That's way too many.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Oh, man, you could have gotten the segway point. You were so close. You were so close. Can't believe you didn't get that. Oh, you're going to chuck it over. It's going to be so perfect. Yes. Yes.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Anything that I have been buying a lot of. Any single thing that I was doing a lot of lately.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
No, not lately, man. Anyway, Bob, that was great. I want to know, the customer service, when the fridge didn't work, did he go, oh no, or did he go, oh no, that's terrible.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
No, I didn't get Bill Hader on the phone when I called. that he was he seemed sincere but he might have just been a good actor because i'm thinking if it was a fan and they knew you they're like content potential oh my oh yeah we'll get you a fridge all right anyway uh best buy and i are off forever now which is sad because i used to like best buy that's one of my favorite places to go i'm done
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
It also could be and I'm probably going to head off a lot of people on the subreddit. There's a thing about refrigerators when when that new one was installed, did they have to turn it sideways and get it up over like all the counters and stuff?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
No, that's the thing. Yeah, because I know refrigerant has to like settle. And when you buy like mini fridges and stuff, you have to like set them upright and let them settle for like 24 hours before you turn them on. No, this fridge was shipped upright. It went upright straight in our big wide front door.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And then there's literally like an eight foot wide path all the way straight to where it went. So there was no shenanigans. And the one we did have to do acrobatics with works fine. Worked immediately. Didn't even think about that when we did that. Eight foot path. So you have what, like six side yards now? How rich are you? That's all inside, baby. I live in Ohio. We got everything.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
If we had a big enough garage, I would rather have a garage fridge, but we don't have that kind of garage.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I have the strongest urge to dig into the ground to make a basement. I yearn for a basement. They're not out here.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
It really freaks out about the color, but I think that's got to be a very particular process to do that. Not sponsored by this thing. That's why I didn't say what the name of it was. But if you pay me many, many dollars, I will say the name of this out loud and happily too.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
See, I don't know if that's true because like earthquakes are an issue. But at the same time, if you got a house on the ground, why can't you have a house below the ground as well?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I'm like, yeah, I've always wondered there must be a way to construct a basement that would still be earthquake like certified or whatever. Maybe it's more expensive.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I don't know. But there's that tunnel lady, right? And her only issue was that she publicized it and made videos of it. If I just start digging, who's going to know? Nobody.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
i've got no windows just dirt and walls i have no windows just ghosts did you ever figure out what that was i did figure out what that was actually so i can't see it from here but so i'm in i'm on like the basement's divided with like a half wall so i'm kind of in a part of the basement but on the other side of the basement is like the normal basement stuff it's like there's some couches there's a tv there's a fridge the only fridge
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
For whatever reason, the TV had turned itself on to a photo slideshow. So and it was doing this thing where it was like sliding them around in a grid. So it literally was the reflection of people in pictures from across the entire basement moving back and forth and just getting caught randomly on this corner of the reflective TV thing behind me. But I stood up.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I can't see that at all from my entire office because I stood up during that episode and looked and didn't put together TV slideshow pictures. All right. Well, mystery solved. I mean, it's ghosts.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Ghosts. Good, good, good. So we're going to move on to the meat of the episode and wait, you got something else.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
We're kind of doing something here. Can you play that over the internet? Could we do an episode where we just play Hanabi? Tabletop Sam might have it.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Yeah, that's true. They might. So the reason that there was a potential segue point is because I was going to give anything for like anything that I've been buying a lot of and or having problems with. Lens! Could have been, but it's too late now. A segue. This is either going to be Bob's Fridge Part 2, or it's going to be called Hyperfixation Station. I've got sad, sad news, guys.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I don't know if they have any left because I get about 19 ads for that thing on my Instagram every single day. It's like the only ad I get on Instagram. They really think I need to take a lot of e-ink notes. You'll cave. I mean, I always do. Like I'm not buying stuff that I see repeatedly on the internet, please.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I am out of hyperfixations. Ooh. I've been able to keep up a chain of focus on random things that I go way too deep into for almost a year and a half now. But right now, I don't need to buy any more lenses. My render farm is working. All the computer parts that I've got actually go together, minus some errors here and there.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
But honestly, the actual obsession that I had for it has kind of gone away. Cameras, I got the camera I need. I don't need an upgrade for many years. You know, computer stuff. Yeah, I got a few issues, but I'm running them into the ground anyway. So it's like I'm going for it. I have nothing in my life that I can fixate upon.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
So I need to turn to my friends to come up with potential future hyper fixations that I am going to become enamored with, that I will become obsessive with. I will spend thousands of
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
upon I will talk to you guys endlessly about this is your chance to kind of guide the next six months of my life maybe one maybe a few weeks maybe a couple days I don't not sure guide it in a way that you can accept what I'm talking about and what that obsession is the person who I pick the obsession of or listing out I will get points for that and I'm going to let you think about it because I have never had to pee so bad in my life I might become obsessed about
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I want him to start to collect Heelys. I have no idea why, but just to become really hyper-focused on Heelys.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
He's just in fucking different casts every week. Breaks don't work. Wait, maybe we were doing this wrong. What would we like to hear about? Oh, that's true. Hey, man.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Listen, you can't make handshake deals because I'm the judge and whatever you did, I hereby irrevocably revert. Do it.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
We didn't make any handshake deals, Mark. All right, that's good. I like that. I like that. Then why were you so suspicious when I came back?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Oh, you mean e-ink. Wait, I'm giving you minus one. Okay, what do I say?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I wasn't. I literally said, oh, hello, or whatever I said. I was just, that's how I greet people. And I'm always suspicious. It's because he's bald.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
everywhere no that's it so let's address that yeah my mailman's like congrats on the pregnancy what the fuck's happening dude i don't even know so there i was i was doing a i'm back stream and there i was talking about you know i said like yeah i'll have something to say at the end uh some fun stuff but anyway so my uncle passed away and yada yada i was talking about that and then chat was just like
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
you're pregnant male pregnancy pregnant and i'm still talking about like ignore for a little bit and i'm and it just catches on and i'm like yeah i was real sad you know but you know taking care of the family and being there it was good pregnancy pregnant i told them that like all right anybody who's into m preg is cringe and i i called them out on that i was like and that didn't stop them and so i was basically like
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
hey i heard that you congrats on the pregnancy i said like oh no no not me it's wade so it was annoying you and you couldn't stop it so you deflected it to us oh i'm sorry i was talking about a very personal thing and they wouldn't stop talking about pregnancy so i diverted them i diverted the flow oh we've all lost uncles man but this
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Look, I needed to, I Tai Chi'd it away. And look, you can Tai Chi it to someone else. Yeah, no, it's not me. Yeah, now we're and impreg friends. It's gotten worse. Look, it's just the way it is. If they want to be cringe, you got to just point the cringe somewhere else.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
What I'm hearing is your friend sent you a lot of viewers to your Twitch stream and you're just moaning about it and complaining. I don't want those little shits. Why don't you wanna, why don't you wanna black less pregnant, Wade? You got an announcement coming that you don't wanna, you wanna be able to talk about? What you doing?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Because E is pronounced A and I is pronounced E. So A-ink. Sometimes E's are pronounced A's in English too. I don't care about English. I want to give you points if you said that in Spanish right then and there, that would have been, that would have been worth something. But as it is right now, that's not worth any points.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
He's just lying. He's covering. So you're into feeding. I get it.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Well, anyway. All right. Back to the topic at hand. Oh, yeah. We got to help you with shit. Now that Wade's lost himself another point. Oh, eat my ass. Take another. I don't know what to do. I mean, I hurt me.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Okay, we'll get to it later. I'll hold off on that. Wade, you've gone first enough. We're going to let Bob take a turn.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
All right, my turn. All right. All right, I have one. I can't let go because it's ridiculous. They're just expensive. Are you familiar with Metmo? Metal in motion, I think is what that stands for. Metmo. It's a company that makes finely machined metal kerjiggers. They make pens, a screwdriver type thing.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
The things that they make that I'm interested in the most is they make these like fidget toys where it's like such a precisely machined piece of metal. It's just two pieces of metal. One fits inside the other, but it's like almost an airtight seal. The one I really like is called the Piston Piston. which is I think one of their new ones.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And it's literally just a piece of metal that slides into another piece of metal, but it's like airtight. Like literally it's like there's a spring in there, but it's just air pressure. Their stuff is ridiculously expensive for what it is. Cause it's just, you could buy like a $2 fidget spinner to get a similar type of fidgety enjoyment.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
But there's just something about like a perfectly machined piece of brass with the knurling and the it just looks so satisfying. And they only have a small roster of products. But even the one they make one that's just like a pen that has like threads on it. So you can it just looks so cool.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
it looks so cool i just want to see how satisfying that is okay this is this is a great start uh the way you're being crushed this is awesome the cool thing that this reminds me of is like water cooling the fun thing about water cooling parts is that there's so many little different parts that also go into different little things i would love a larger ecosystem with this but i do love this i've never heard of this at all and i'm shocked but this is super cool i don't have no concept of how big this company is but it's a it's a
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Company in the UK, it's just, I can't let it go. I stare at their website and I'm like, oh, but it's expensive. Oh, but I need to see what that's like. God.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
God, yeah. The tool bundle alone, just two tools, like a wrench and a screwdriver, $262. Oh. The pen is like 120 bucks.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Oh, the the cube one is three hundred and twenty dollars. It's a steel cube that has two inserts like this is why I don't have one. But also, I just can't stop staring at it. Three hundred and twenty. Did you say that already? Three hundred and twenty dollars for the whole thing. The Mark III steel metmo cube. They literally do limited drops and sell out every single time. They never have stock.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Engineering of that precision is very difficult to do. So I do understand the level of precision that that has to fit into each other. And they definitely don't carve it out of the same thing. They carve it from two separate sources and then carve it into each other.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
So you need that precision twice because if you cut it out of the thing that it's in, even with a laser, you're going to ablate away too much so that it wouldn't fit like that. You have to machine it from the cube and then you have to machine the two parts and you have to machine the holes. It's difficult to do, not impossible, but yeah, even then it shouldn't be that expensive.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
The cube is specifically is made using some technique called advanced wire EDM, which I have no idea what the fuck that is. Some kind of electronic dance music. Yeah, that's it. But apparently it requires a lot of something that costs an insane amount of money because it's just so fucking expensive.
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But anyway, that's an interesting one because I feel like that's one where it's like a lot of hyper fixations. It's like, oh, there's a lot of stuff to buy. There's like little bits. And so you buy like little chunks here or you find a little thing.
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This is one for me where it's like, I don't know if I'm ever going to buy one, but I still I like there's a new when there's a new video that comes out on someone playing with a thing. I'm like, oh, I got to see. I got to see.
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It's not a direction I would have ever thought of. So originality is definitely there. I'm not sure how much it costs, but you know, do they have refurbished dinosaur bones?
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Oh yeah. I prefer barbecue sauce on the titties. Anyway, I saw this, I saw this headline. This is not going into small talk or the episode is saw it. Trump's NATO pick used to work for company offering a quote, masculine toilet for well-endowed men. And I know you. Good news, guys. I know we've all suffered the problem.
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I just want the rush. They're not for display. It's just for me. I want the rush of it.
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okay you can get on this website you can get an articulated hadrosaur caudal vertebrae from montana a fossil iguanodon dinosaur sacrum you can get the sacrum of a dinosaur it's like exodia man you can get the whole set and build one and when you get the whole set it comes to life and it'll destroy your enemies Yeah, no, you can get a sauropod metacarpal hand bone, which is 14 inches long.
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Good Lord. Tyrannosaur phalanx bone. Wow. This is the real deal. You can definitely get it. Oh, OK. This was this is a very good suggestion because it goes deep. It's something very niche and it would be entirely for my own personal gain. And I wouldn't share it with anybody that I would have loved as a kid to have access to real dinosaur bones. It'd be so cool. All right.
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I mean one of these is gonna be my next hyper fixation. So this is this is a this is a good is a good option I do have to say though. It's a lot of teeth a lot of vertebrae.
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All right. Well, thank you. That's a, that's a, that's a great suggestion.
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For just the tooth? Just one pristine three inch tooth. God dang.
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I mean, the sacrum costs $5,000, so the butt bone of this thing... I don't think my ass is worth that much. Put it up for auction.
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Listeners may bid on the right to hear our ass, but they may not bid on the right to see it. They're separate rights. Very separate. It's just like, oh, this is like mineral rights and oil rights. And it's complicated. Wouldn't understand.
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A single vertebra can cost anywhere between $7.55, probably lower than that, to $1,345. Collecting the whole set's going to be tough.
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I'm sure it's not as easy, and I don't think it's easy, but I'm sure it's not this simple. You know what it sounds like to me? Is there good business in making really accurate replica fossils? I mean, is that your suggestion for hyperfixation? How to con?
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Look, who really gets hurt? They get to own the bones of the creature they love, I guess, or whatever that is. And you just make a little money off of a person who was going to spend that money anyway. And, you know, so what if it's just paper mache and a little watercolors? Same difference.
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Dick's so huge, just literally dunked in the water every time you are standing to pee. When it sits down, you know, it could get lost in the drinks.
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Now the Mona Lucy is the most valuable one. How many NFTs can we make that are just Mona Lisa puns? I want a risque one that's called the Mona Lisa. I got the Moana Lisa, the Hawaiian version.
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I want a Simpsons themed one that's called the Moan Lisa. I got one that's actually just the background only. It's a No Mo Lisa.
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I've got one that's just a girl cutting to the front of the line called the Gnome Lisa. No.
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Okay, but Bob, what's your official new hyper fixation for me? I've got just the thing for you.
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It's not expensive like the ones we've been talking about. It's still probably for what it is. It probably is a little pricey, but it's very cool. Come with me on this one.
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i'm ready marbles not just marbles mark have you seen marbula one i have and i was hoping you were gonna go there because i actually know what you're talking about dude marble yellow one is one of my favorite youtube series youtube.com slash gels marble runs i think
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is that's the people who originate and make, because their content gets stolen everywhere and put on TikTok and everywhere in the world. But I think this is the place it comes from. They have a bunch of different series, but the Marbula One series is by far my favorite. They have teams. They have cheering sections. They have different raceways.
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It's really dangerous if you accidentally bump the flusher while you're sitting down. Tell you what. Yeah, I had to modify a garden hose crank wheel to wheel it all back up. And now I don't have to fear for that on the toilet.
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The number of things that you could do with just collecting different types of marble runs and then putting them together in different configurations. And then the way they produce the content. They have like action shots. They'll have like a camera around a corner. And as the leaders are coming, they do the old like, the old Neil deGrasse Tyson. It's just a meme of just Neil deGrasse Tyson.
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He's giving an interview and he's answering some question about, but he just goes...
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It's like, it's just a meme that gets used a lot. No, I, I do know about this and I know there's a lot of knockoff ones, but they have announcers like calling them. They have trackers of all the thing. They're really well produced and they're captivating to watch. It's kind of like the, uh, subway surfers in the side of content, but it's, it's subway surfers itself.
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Me and Amy, we've watched it before and we've been like, green's going to win. No way. Striped red. Is it all the way? Really entertaining.
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I really appreciate the crowd. They have shots of the crowds and the different fan sections and they actually stop motion animate them. And if you look like each marble in the crowd is moved slightly. So like it's a real they're cheering and the signs go up and down. And I just every time I watch those, I'll get in rabbit holes where I'll watch just like a bunch all at once.
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buy some stuff i could probably have my own marbula one my own world i think they 3d print uh some of these raceways i'm looking the latest videos and i noticed some of the obstacles are really interesting they're like little i think they do because they make they like make new ones and update them and i don't think they're all like production things i think that they they sort of craft their own little world so is my hyper fixation getting into like making a competitor marble run
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Well, I think it starts with investing in buying some entry-level stuff, but it leads to a room filled with two dozen 3D printers constantly pumping out your new concept for your newest marble-run customization obstacle that you're...
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like it it leads down a lot of sort of ancillary fixation paths it does i won't give you points for all those accessories just yet but it's a it's that is a clever strategy to get me down those paths i'm gonna definitely marbula one no i can't give you all a 3d printing wait steal 3d printing right from them i mean this is maybe close but not quite 3d printing because i'm not gonna do that he's literally offering you points nope not taking them it's a trick
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like after they've been in the battle, kind of crushed up. Who do you think he is?
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I don't see a lot about it winning, but it has some interesting stories.
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You're right. I mean, this is one I could. It's definitely an interesting hyper fixation because it taps into like my engineering side. I want to build them, tinker with them. There's a lot to do. Battle them. All right. No, I'll count that. All right. Bob, are you going to fall for the 3D printing trap?
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Listen, Mark, I don't know if you've seen this device that I have sitting behind me in my room here.
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I don't know if you're familiar, but that is a 3D printer. You know what you can 3D print, Mark? Anything you can imagine. Water cooling components? Almost definitely. Marble runs for Morbula 1? Definitely. Dinosaur bones? Oh.
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I know why you've had all those water problems, Wade. Why do you think I got the power flush? Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I think this toilet was already for sale. Actually, probably the company's shutting down because he's going to go work for NATO now.
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100 battle bot parts yes you know in all honesty 3d printing is probably something i will become hyper fixated on in the future it seems like a thing you'd really enjoy i have a 3d printer amy uses it a lot more than i do it's currently uh broken because it clogged up like i it's it's the one that bamboo lab sent me uh that i begged for basically and it was like Please send me one. And they did.
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And it's great. But it's like a pre Kickstarter version of it. It's not even like the production one. So they've made modifications to the print head like they've reinforced and upgraded and they sell an upgrade kit. And I have it. I just haven't actually taken the time to go do it. So new head breaks printer. I'm nodding as if I understand the reference.
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I don't actually, but I'm like, yeah, you don't know the vine of no head.
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We should know it because Wade exclusively made that reference for quite a long time. I know what you're talking about.
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But yes, 3D printing. And especially because I haven't checked in on the latest advancements in 3D printing. So there probably is a whole new world. That's some crazy stuff. It's definitely getting more and more intense.
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And we all, I think we all know that like the future of manufacturing probably lies in 3D printing advances because there's certain things that you can do with 3D printing that you just cannot do with normal, like reductive processes instead of an additive process. So it's like, it's very, it's very, very interesting. 3D, I'll give you the 3D printing points.
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I don't know a lot about the tech, but I do know my current favorite form of 3D printing is carbon powder sinter printing. Basically, there's a bed of like carbon fiber dust and then a laser fires into it and sinters it one layer of dust at a time. And that's how it 3D prints. And you end up with a 3D printed carbon fiber part.
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it's cool as fuck because you could just have anything you want made out of carbon fiber and that's not an easy thing to get with traditional carbon fiber like laying and uh epoxying and stuff type methods that actually is something that i would really like because it does coincide with a lot of things that i want to do i bet they're probably crazy expensive i think the last
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time i checked in those sintering machines are like start at a hundred thousand dollars insanely expensive still very like cutting edge industrial they don't make a bamboo labs home center no i don't think so and it's like bamboo labs and things like it say they can do the carbon fiber like deposition printing but it's not the same it's it's very difficult clogs all the time and like
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Well, I think you still end up with different material properties at the end, right? The sintering is almost like you end up with like forged carpet as opposed to like layered, not even woven. But anyway, I don't know the details. I just I like it because it's cool stuff.
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Sounds like the kind of toilet where it's designed for in case your junk is too big, but also every time you sit on it, it makes a fake splashing noise just so that anyone with an earshot knows your penis slashing the water in the toilet, because that's how big it is. My secret splash button. I sit down, a voice goes like, Whoa there, big guy.
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i honestly this might be the one that i do obsess about because it seems pretty cool and there's a lot of people in it as a hobby and as like a future of of yada yada but you know it was right there way you had it it's okay i got a better one you ever look around online you just see something like oh that's really cool i wish i had that have you heard of 2d printing you get a printer and paper
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That's true. You know what? I think they really have mastered 2D printing at this point.
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My brother did that for a while. It actually does seem kind of fun. Actually, though, you might be onto something because that's the original 3D printing, if you think about it. And the 3D printers right up here and right in here. And what do I love to do? I love hidden things. I like heat. I don't like heat, actually. But I love air conditioning.
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If I have it when I'm working on the heat, it'll feel even better because of the I'm hot. And then I'm like, oh, the relief. It's like a sauna.
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Yeah, I'm not going to lie. I've thought about that before. When I was a teenager, my dad built muzzleloader rifles. So he worked with someone that had a garage blacksmithing setup. He forged the barrels and had a big drill press to bore out the long barrels for muzzleloader rifles and had some woodworking things. I loved that workshop. I think everyone... Everyone yearns for the garage workshop.
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I don't know about blacksmithing, but Amy has like a big kiln and those things are get up to like basically blacksmith forge temperatures. And so the idea of having that in your garage and or in a workshop that you have is not crazy. It's it's not crazy. And it's really actually kind of cool.
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The idea of just like being able to do that shit, working with metal and the same thing with 3D printing is like the big barrier of accessibility, like being able to make things out of metal, having a big CNC machine, you know, having metal 3D printers and stuff like that. They're huge barriers to entry. Forging metal in general is still like a crazy.
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We were just watching a video the other night about this big metal fabrication factory and smelter in Korea and watching all this stuff. There was some crazy shit. I thought it was like they were opening up a portal to hell because they were going to have the big thing. They put all the scrap metal in. They light the furnace.
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And then they start sticking this massive, like, telephone pole-sized pillar in it. And it's, like, shooting light as if there is a portal. Like, Stargate Atlantis opened up inside there. And it's just like the ceiling is just... It was insane, the amount of energy that goes into it. You couldn't have that in your home. But blacksmithing, I'm going to put it on there. That's a good one.
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And I think we're going to close with that suggestion. My future hyperfixation is in this list. I have Vorpreg on here, but that's a minus point. It's still on there.
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If we're spinning a wheel, that has to be on the wheel. And 2D printers use ink, not ink.
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Bob, you got points for Battle Fridge Part 2, Big Fridge Sale, God's Hour, Metmo, Marbula 1, and 3D printing. You got points for all those. Wade, you got points for Flush Job, Westchester Hanabi, Fucking Dinosaurs, Not Falling For It points, Battle Bot, and Blacksmithing. So if you count up just the additive points, you're
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i don't know if i have a big enough toilet for you it's got a whole soundboard to make sure every time you're in the bathroom it's masculine enough it's actually a toilet seat cover as well you take it with you in the airport bathroom so everyone knows come through okay enough of that that's all small talk how you guys doing or big talk i need to talk about refrigerators oh
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neck and neck yes however wait you you lost a point for ank you lost a point for ink you lost a point for vorpreg even though that's on the list of hyper fixation that is um which you might choose i feel like if he chooses it you should get that point back i should yeah i'll give i'll give a bonus point to one i pick and if you've been to the score
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Yeah, let's see. All right, so we got Metmo. I don't think that has the depth required, so I'm checking that out. Vorpreg, I'm just going to check that out.
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No, you did not say that. Wade's just trying to harvest a win out of an absolute tragedy right now. All right, let me put a wheel on there. Oh, boy. Okay, well. All right.
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that plus one point will make all the difference for me wade loses by over double score wheel all right so i'm gonna share the wheel here and this will be my hyper fixation from here on till forever okay i know which one i'm really really hoping for
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all right are you ready here we go please no oh oh oh the most expensive one battle bot well 3d printing depending on how far you go yeah they all could be pretty expensive i gotta admit i am extremely not excited about battle bots yeah me either free spin all right hold on
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BattleBots is fucking cool. All right, never mind. Oh, yes! Yes! All right, well, it's the second one. You have to choose it. You only get one video. That's the episode. Bob, I agree. Thank you, everyone. This is the only condition under which I will accept Wade winning.
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All right, well, even though technically I picked two of Wade's things, so he gets a point for each one I picked, that still doesn't put you up ahead, Wade.
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I'm going to be talking about my passion in every episode of Small Talk from here on out. You're welcome, everybody. Thank you, Wade. But congratulations, Bob. By one point, you have eked out the win. Wade, how do you feel about this loss?
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Look, the fridge is going to come tomorrow. Nothing bad can happen. Third fridge is the charm.
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It's going to be nude on Thanksgiving. I would be like, maybe fridges are supposed to be 48 degrees inside. Maybe I think wrong things about fridges. This must be how fridge.
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No, this is the new food safety standard. It's still pretty safe. All right, Bob, what's your winner speech? Oh, I was really honestly hoping it would be Morbula 1, Marbula 1, just because I enjoy that very much. And I was hoping the next time like we like I come over to your house, you have like a whole room that's just like marble runs. And we could just do that instead of whatever.
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Probably I was coming over to do like film a podcast or something. We just do. So feel free to do that. And also there's a relatively decent chance I might do that because James would probably enjoy it as much or more than I do. No Marbula one in this house, but we'll see. I just someday I just hope to have access to some of that. It's just exciting. It's an exciting future.
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That's good to know. Thank you, everybody. And thank you for your suggestions, Bob and Wade. The luck of the dice has dictated my future. But hey, you know, it'll turn over in a few months. I'll be over whatever that is. And then I'll be on to the next thing. And I've got a list of things to be on to next.
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In all honesty, it's probably going to be 3D printing because now that you reminded me about it, Bob, I'm looking up the new advancements and I'm like...
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I thought you were just going to say, I don't have anything at all. What do you have? You've got gold.
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there's really cool home resin printers now that you can do lots and lots and lots of stuff and then you cure them in uv and then they're they're basically you know solid as steel uh john uh my buddy john he is obsessed with like metal sintering he's like yearns for the day but those i think are a little too
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Oh, they're pricey and dangerous because the metal powder, if you breathe it in, you're going to get lung death. It's very bad. All right. Thank you. Follow the podcast. Be sure to do that or else or else this podcast will fail. And then all of these laughs will be lost to the ether forever and ever. If you don't follow it, we die. Anyway, bye. Podcast out.
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We'll see about that. I... Oh, no. I'm not supposed to use this mug. Why not? This is Amy's mug.
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Just blow this mug up. I've seen you already take several drinks from that. You carried it all the way into your office.
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Did you sincerely just realize that it's... I just realized it because I pulled it straight out of the dishwasher and flipped it around and I was in such a hurry to like, okay, I need coffee. I need to get in here. I only looked at it right now.
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She's not gonna be, like, mad or anything, but it's just... I mean, you just, when you're done, just go wash it and stick it back in the, where it goes, and it'll be fine. That's why I'm not allowed to use her mugs.
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Oh, of course. Yeah. You got to season it with like old cream. You got to season your coffee cups. It's time for Bob's fridge part two, which will be the name of this episode. Whether or not I actually have a topic. Yeah.
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I'm writing a decorative distractible score at the top. With all your colors? I'm trying to. Hey, what's up guys? I'm not looking at the camera because I don't care about the viewers. It's the listeners that really earn my heart. You're not looking at them either. I'm looking in their souls and I don't like what I'm seeing. Why you gotta come back to the viewers?
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Two weeks ago, we live in Ohio, which means we have a basement fridge. And two weeks ago, our basement fridge, Mandy, I think Mandy went to get ice cream and she grabbed it. You know, ice cream is hard when it's frozen. She literally grabbed it. It was like slosh, squish. It weren't cold no more.
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The freezer was more of a refrigerator and the refrigerator was just a very small room in the basement. So we were like, ah, let's get a new fridge. Damn it. Because we had Thanksgiving coming up. This was two weeks ago. So we got time. We got time. We'll go and we'll pick one out. And we were like, you know what? We have some complaints about our upstairs, our main fridge in our kitchen.
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It's fine. But there are a couple of things we wish were different. What if instead of getting just like a cheapo one for the basement, if we get ourselves the one we are dreaming of for the kitchen and then move the kitchen one downstairs, that'll be fine. Great move. Great move. Yeah. Turns out the one we actually want was really expensive.
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And we looked at it and we were kind of like, ooh, how badly do we want that? Turns out you can buy refrigerators that have been returned. We found an open box refrigerator that was over $1,000 off. It was almost half price of what the fancy, like top of the line, bougie, ridiculous, you know, unnecessarily cool fridge was. And we were like, oh.
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that it had a dent it was from san francisco right someone's side yard it had a dent on the back oh and it was listed it had like a couple dents where you couldn't see them and it was like oh and it doesn't come with documentation and i was like i don't read those anyway that's fine that's just less shit that will be piled in that one cabinet where i put all the manuals i've never read for all the things we own but anyway we're like we'll
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this is just a bargain and it works. And we looked and it was documented as working. And we asked the guy and he was like, yeah, it's out here. It works. Should work. Don't worry about that. And we were like, we won't. And so we ordered it to be delivered last Friday. And it was. Oh, there's a thing that happened before that. So refrigerators, we're moving them.
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Turns out when people deliver refrigerators, they don't move ones up and down and all over the fuck. So we had to pay guys to come before we got the new one to switch the broken one to the upstairs, whatever. If you ever design a kitchen, you have to design the opening of the kitchen so that it's as wide as a refrigerator is. Can I just say that? I didn't even think I measured doors.
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Well, I, Mandy thought to do this. Mandy measured doors. We measured hallways. We measured everywhere. We were like, yeah, all these places where a fridge might not, whatever. And we measured and it just fit. I never once imagined I should measure the kitchen that the fridge was in to see if it would fit.
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So me and the two guys we hired had to physically pick up the entire fridge and carry it beneath the lights, but above the countertop and between the wall, like it fit exact. It was like a, like a 3d puzzle. It fit in one orientation at one height. And, uh, we still scratched the absolute fuck out of the corner of the wall. And I'm going to have to go ahead and repaint that. But I was helping.
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The grass is greener where you can see grass. The ass is greener on the other side. He's right about that. Distractible is a show that you need. It's not the show you deserve. It's a show you get. We have destroyed all other podcasts. We're the only one left. I'm sorry and you're welcome. I am your host today because that's how it works. My name is Markiplier. I judge things. These guys' things.
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And honestly, those guys were really chill. They did a great job and they were very helpful. The first fridge comes. And this whole time, Mandy and I are like, oh, my God, fucking fridge delivery. We didn't get it from Lowe's. Tell you that much. And spoiler alert, we're not getting any more from this new place either ever for the rest of our lives. You're on a fridge blacklist, man.
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Literally, I'm running out of places to buy fridges from. But so the whole time leading up to the fridge loop where we were like, there's no way it's going to go wrong, right? Like they can't mess it up. They have to bring it in the door and go 20 feet. The kitchen's right there. They couldn't possibly fuck up the delivery.
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Aside from the fact that apparently they deliver fridges before God himself wakes up. It actually did go fine. I knew it would happen. But when you order, we ordered the fridge and they were like, OK, well, we don't know what time until like the day before the send you a message. But your your delivery window is between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. So, of course, our fridge was delivered at 630 a.m.
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Because why the fuck wouldn't it be? I wouldn't be so mad if that was the only time I had to wake up before 630 a.m. for a refrigerator. We'll get to that. Anyway, we're dreading this. It happens and the guys are actually awesome. They take the old one. No problemo. They bring the new one in. Nothing in the house is destroyed. The fridge is not dented or it's great. It takes literally 20 minutes.
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between when they got there and I opened the door and they're like, okay, sir, looks like it's all set up and they leave. And I just look around. I'm like, okay, we did it. Great. The fridge is on. You can feel it's like cold air is coming out. It's like, yeah. Oh my God. Okay. And literally like I shouldn't have unclenched because I internally, I was like, we didn't happen again. We've made it.
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yeah must have gave its disease to the new one as they pass going out the door because it was an open box fridge but it was literally like a brand new fridge that someone had delivered and then returned i'm gonna guess because it didn't work but they had it look brand new like it had tape from the factory on it but literally plugged in got cold and and like it was getting cold and getting cold but then it reached a point where it stopped and we're like that feels kind of like a fridge in a freezer
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And I was like, I have, I have thermometers and the other one in the base, we'll get some thermometers. And I like put them in there and they have like zones on the thermometer. And one of them says not safe. And the other one says refrigerator, but, and the needle got right into the bottom quarter of that, not safe. And then stayed right there and left.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Literally for 36 straight hours, it was like, okay, don't open the fridge. Give it a fighting chance. Let it cool down. Okay, it's been a couple hours. Open the fridge. The thermometer is still right there. Like, ding, ding, ding. Is it broken? What if we move them around?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Well, we bought digital fridge thermometers, wireless fridge thermometers, so we could monitor the temperature without having to open it. Because if you open it, it lets all the coldness out. Two straight days of fucking obsessively just being like, what temperature is it now? Oh, that's not cold enough.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
there was like a slow march down the path of sadness because in the beginning we're like well it's only been six hours it's only been like 10 hours 12 hours maybe it just needs more taste it's like a energy efficient fridge maybe it takes it's only been 30 hours how long do fridges take to get cold it's only been two days maybe it needs like a week how long do we let this go on for
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
We give up hope, right? We got this from Best Buy. I'm just going to throw that out there. This is from Best Buy, this experience. Because we were like, not Lowe's, Best Buy. Don't buy their fridges. Anyway, I call and I'm like, this is happening. It's happening again. And I call and I expect the guy to just be like, oh, I don't know.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I call and the guy's like, oh man, no, that's really terrible, sir. No, look, yeah, no. Well, let's set up an exchange. I think we can have a fridge out to you in the next couple days, which will still be before Thanksgiving, which was supposed to be today, this morning at God's hour. And he was great.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And the whole time I asked him like a dozen times, I was like, okay, and you're just going to send us a brand new one, right? And we'll have to pay the price difference because we paid a steep discount on this one. Don't even care. We'll get the brand new one that way. And we know it'll work. And he was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it all set up. There'll be five, blah, blah, blah.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
The things that they bring me, I'm going to judge and then I'm going to put them... On my non-branded, I'm not talking about it, I'm just very happy to have it, score sheet. Digital score sheet. Is that against the rules?
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
All of this happens. I get it all sorted out. And the sense of dread fades away for about two days. The fridge still isn't working. Turns out it doesn't need four days to get cold. It just isn't going to get cold.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
He's got a point. That is true. Maybe we didn't give that first fridge its fighting chance, but they were going to just give us a brand new one. And we're like, good, because Thanksgiving is coming. And in a couple of days, we're going to have 14 people at our house expecting to eat mountains of food from which I got out of the refrigerator probably is the plan. So it's all good.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
And today is the day they were supposed to come take the broken one and give us the brand new one. And it's fucking 630 in the morning again, right, right inside our window of 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. They call before that and then they show up and they get to the door. I'm like, yes. All right. Hey, what's up? And the guy's like.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
all right so we're taking away a fridge today right and i look at him and i'm like yep and putting the new one in right he looks and does that thing where he's like and immediately sense of dread floods back in like the dam is broken and i am washed away in an eternal river of sadness fuck it and he looks right at me and he's like no we're just taking it oh
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
So there's like another truck or something. And he could tell I was immediately just on the verge of screaming. And I think just to avoid me getting mad at him, he was like, oh, yeah, no, they do that. Probably different truck. Not us truck. We'll just take the fridge and be out of here. And I was like, OK, well. well, man, I should probably call and check on that.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
I'm remembering a bylaw that might have been... Theoretically, it gets the rules, but I want you to enjoy things, so I'm not going to put up a fight.
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Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
Do you have a number I could call? And he gives me the number and I call. And while they're taking the fridge, I'm like on the phone with the customer support people getting increasingly enraged. And the conclusion from the phone people is, oh, no, sir, we just have a return on the books for you today. We're just taking that back and we're going to just issue you a refund, right?
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
they're a good tournament team like they're traditionally they're a good tournament team but what was their seed this year they were an eight seed it's a bold strategy but there's a chance no mark how's your bracket oh man if i did one this year well i've done one for the past few years and i've done it completely by random and each time i've beaten tyler's bracket I'm not lying. Multiple times.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I can't remember if it's every time. I'll bet that goes over well. But yeah, I just purely by random chance. And I don't just win. I crush. I crush him in points. Just absolutely destroy.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Oh. Where'd he go? He's gone. Honorable. How many times have I started a rumor that Tyler's dead on this podcast? At least one now. I forget where... This is all a delay because I forgot where he's going. He told me many times, but he's not here. I know where he was until the middle of the night last night.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
We need to get to the bottom of this ASAP. If we find out where he is by the end of the episode, do we get a point?
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Do I want the points or the sugar? All right, let's say we can't just text him directly. That would be cheating.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
You're assuming that when I was in Cincinnati, I actually went out and did things.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I was a real, real, real, whatever you call someone that goes out and does things. I was a real one of those. A real Mark. That's what I call it. Leaving a Mark.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Yeah, yeah. King's Island, it's basically a theme park. It lost a lot of theming back after the Paramount days ended. But now they have Snoopyland? Do they have Snoopy? Is there Snoopy there?
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
And then they have, I haven't been there in a bit, but they have not the Phantom Menace, the, the, the fan.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
i love that land at king's island is it called just the phantom they have danny phantom the ride is it a coaster are you talking about like the phantom theater which is no no it's the one they built after the son of beast broke down which was the tallest fastest and only looping wooden roller coaster it
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Yeah, it's supposed to be like the ghost of the son of beast. So the beast over in the other side of the park mourns the loss of its son and has to go over and visit the haunted ghost that is the remnants. There's like a gravestone of the son of beast outside of the ride. I didn't know there was lore. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
But now the son of beast was plagued by problems from its inception. Nothing. Nothing good came out of that roller coaster. Many people had like whiplash and just shaken up spine syndrome. You know, that syndrome.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Big blowy, big safe. You know, I could just have a leaf blower and you could close your eyes and I could just blast you in the face. You know the kid where there's like a video of a mom with their baby and they're like on a chair and they're watching a video of a roller coaster and the mom is like I can do that for you.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Honestly, I didn't notice a difference. I would have to have an A-B comparison. I don't have...
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
mural all over the wall well i guess i can't say that one as an idea now no one's so obvious mark shut up it's not that all right fine what was that your idea though was that your i was gonna say that yeah there's it's it's uh you know but whatever there's the ohio river there is you like water get in there start this motion
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I would love to have a comparison of like seeing what the river looked like before. people came around and started building big fire generating facilities, aiming their poop tubes into the river, rooting their feces down in there.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
If, if, If the Ohio's not clean, I wouldn't assume that. Apparently, it's not great. Not advised to swim or recreation in there because of bacteria, algae blooms, and general contamination, though some sections are monitored and may be safe at times. It doesn't seem...
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
No, we're in the endarkenment era. But anyway, so yeah, there's that. Which is weird because not many people know this, but Cincinnati actually has some of the cleanest drinking water in the country. I don't know if that's the case anymore. It was when I was growing up. That's surprising. I don't know what they...
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I remember there was this joke on the Colbert Report where he was making his own bottled water and he was touring around the country being like, we filled this glacier and then this spring and they went all around the country and they said, and we finish it off with a little dollop of Cincinnati tap water. And everyone in the crowd went, eww! But it was one of the cleanest, so they didn't know.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
They didn't know. Actually, I'm looking up the ranking right now, and I think Cincinnati's dropped quite a bit. Is it bad news? Well, it's not bad news, but instead of being up there, it's now 109th. Out of 50 states? Yeah. Yes, the great state of Cincinnati.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Small talk? Tired. I'm good. I have an update on my many hobbies.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
3D guns? Ammo farm? Where are we going? Look, it's about the render farm. It's been working delightfully, finally, after four floor air conditioners, two wall air conditioners, that sumbitch is actually staying at a steady temperature. But the harsh realities of operating a render farm... You built a freezer? It's not that cold, man, even with all this.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I mean, there's probably traces of decaf that I was drinking. You like the AI-generated stupid mug? This was a gift from one of our family members, and they didn't know it was AI. It's just stupid. It's a library. Sure, sure. Anyway, so, yeah, I haven't had caffeine for a long time, and I miss it. Do you feel the benefits yet, though, or still meh?
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
yeah i do i do think that it's generally more even i don't have that slump of energy and i never thought that it actually gave me energy and awakeness but on a day like today where i've only gotten like five hours of sleep last night because i've been i stayed up late working and yeah i just i really want it well i think it was socrates who said the uncaffeinated life is not worth living
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
They got a big fireplace. They got all this shit on the wall. It's beautiful. Sit down in these lovely wooden chairs. Ah, man, it's so decorative. Like, it's so decorative.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I just didn't like the description of shit on the wall. They make the best chicken and dumplings you've ever, ever eaten in your life. Just... Ah, so good. I order that sometimes with green beans, corn, extra dumplings, maybe, maybe biscuits with, like, some blackberry jam, you know. What is this magical place called, Mark? Ah, I barely remember the name. I only visited it once or twice.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Oh, okay, good. No, it's not. You stupid. Tell us about this Cincinnati place. God, what is that name? Oh, well, can't remember the name, but really good. Right outside of Milford, you get off the highway there. There's also a movie theater next to it. We should buy that. Thank you.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I woefully underestimated how much cooling was necessary. But I have another problem entirely. I got my power bill. Oh, no! Did the seven air conditioners raise it slightly? It's been up and down because we've been testing it, but we haven't been running it. So the past month has been the first time it's been like running every day, chugging, you know, beautiful renders. My power bill was $3,000.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I opened up that letter. You know how they show a bar graph of your, like, monthly usage? Yeah. It was like, oh, and it's trending up as I'm testing. And then this past month was just astronomically.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
But Kenwood Mall is great because it's central. And I think a city still wants that. There should be that because it's like people want to go there, number one, just because it's kind of nice to have this big building with a lot of little stores. It's fun to walk around and do that window shopping. It's a different experience. So people still want it. It's just they want less of them.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
There doesn't need to be five malls in a city limits when there can be one in the middle that people can go to. Admittedly, parking's hell. Kenwood is a nightmare of traffic.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I don't know what the power company thinks is going on at this place. You know, this place being a bathroom.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Even, like, for iPhones, they don't really do that anymore. I think the last event that probably that happened was for the Vision Pro, and that was just because it was a new thing. People wanted to try it, but they didn't even sell out of those, so...
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I mean, it is kind of nice, I guess, if you were an employer and you had a constant stream of semi-qualified people always on hand.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I imagine a lot of people are Apple employees because I believe there's an employee discount there.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Well, actually, I don't think they actually stop people from leaving because they're like, we track all of those devices. They're ours, so... That's true. Yeah.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
It's either one or the other because you go to Best Buy and you can't find a soul in there. It's hide and seek with the employees. You see one and they look at you and they go...
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
One of the things that I neglected about Cincinnati when I lived in it that a lot of people probably would overlook is there is a stupid amount of parks and they're too big.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
This man's planning to raid the Looney Tunes. I got a gun safe and they're like, open this safe. I'm like, all right, I'll open it. And just an avalanche of papers, you know, mask style with all the dollars coming out.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
That's not a problem really, but it's just even where I was growing up in Milford, like there's just park over here, park over here, just big field, you know, it's not even a park, but there's just a big open field here, woods there, stuff like that in the city, outside the city, there's parks everywhere. Like in Milford, you're talking about like Miami Meadows, which is the bigger park there.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
It's gigantic. It's too big. I didn't even realize how big it was when I was first there.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Yeah, so that's my update, and it's not going to go down much in the next few months.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
At least three, including Cracker Barrel. No, I was thinking of a different restaurant.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Mark, you win. Congratulations. Thank you. I feel like I did. Cincinnati a disservice. Me winning this episode is a shock, not only to me, but everyone in Cincinnati. As the one not in Cincinnati winning this episode about Tour Guide of Cincinnati, I feel like fate, it runs in strange ways. Maybe this is going to compel me to go back to Cincinnati once and for all. Probably not.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Just like with Blue Ash Chili, I always intend to go there, and I just end up going somewhere else. We just pick somewhere else to eat. Just pick somewhere else to live.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
They're going to think you're a render dealer and call you El Servo. I had this idea a long time ago before I started building it. A long time ago. It feels like a long time ago. Like a year ago. Because with the Mac Studios, Apple, Silicon, it's very power efficient. And I did some paper math that was like the power efficiency of this cost over a period of time.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
The cost of this computer going on eBay and finding random stuff. And the math... showed me a year ago that the power cost of the actual server grade stuff would be astronomically high. And I'm like, I must be doing my math wrong. That can't be right. And now here I am. My math was right. Congratulations.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Well, technically, it's saving me money. Technically, I think I'm deep. I think I'm deep in the red. I don't want to go and do the math. It would have been so much better if I just hired another company. Oh, man. Oh, man. You factor in maintenance cost, I'm sure you're going to be well into the green.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
well maintaining it i'm not hoping to do that i'm hoping that when it dies it dies and i will just because there's no company i can send it back to i've got it from ebay so and and it's not like i don't think i can sell it back again so you spent a year working on this getting it to work you installed 70 air conditioning units you're paying 3 000 a month and your idea is when it dies it dies
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I even now I'm like buying a whole a room full of Mac Studios might have been the better option.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
Very little. If I go by that one guy on Reddit, a thought of what I was going to do, which was shove Globersalt inside the computers and immerse them in it. So very little. Anyway, sorry, I got to weep a little bit here.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I never liked coconut in any other capacity than a Samoa. Samoa?
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
You've had decisions made before, so why is this different?
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
What a tautology. Can I comment on something? The listeners are going to weep because I'm going to mention another visual thing. But our shirt color combination is just very pleasant. It's very striking. It's more colorful than we usually are. And yet they match up quite nicely. I think that this is going to be maybe our best episode ever because of that.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
I got mine through Amazon. They just chucked it over the fence. I was so mad.
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Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
That was pretty funny. News out there is still depressing, so there's really nothing to say.
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Time and Stuff
I don't think I've meaningfully, yeah, I haven't meaningfully improved my max score. I have been, I've unlocked more decks and I've unlocked the challenge modes and I've been focusing on that a lot. So my max is still 36 million or whatever it was, but.
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Time and Stuff
not that i could tell i'm gonna be honest i've only actually beat one it doesn't seem like there's anything specific that you get but it might be like you unlock cards or or specific decks or something if you the one i beat i think might be the easiest one also so it is very fun it's it's oddly addicting and then like you have that hand that you think's going well and you come across the wrong thing you just start over you're like ah it was those jokers i'll get better jokers this time and you never do
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Time and Stuff
I'm always like, I need to focus on jokers and I fall into that trap. And then your success is entirely dictated by whatever random shitty jokers you get because you never get the good ones or the one that you want.
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Time and Stuff
That's probably the biggest part of my play style that's been changing is I, until the last few days, I just keep myself zeroed out. Every round I'm like, what can I buy? I gotta get a spend. I gotta get, yeah, I finally was like, hey, if you just don't spend all your money every time, you like get more and then you can do other stuff.
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Time and Stuff
I would say get it on your mobilist mobile device also, because it's fun on on computer and like it's nice, but I'm really happy I have it on my phone because I play that shit everywhere.
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Time and Stuff
I haven't actually played anymore since the last time you and I played together.
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Time and Stuff
That's kind of tedious, but kind of fun. You both Path of Exile-ing. Oh, God. i have about one tenth of the amount of time he has in it but it's very fun i'm at like 108 hours i like 12 i got 1300 1300 holy shit my power level is unmatched i do have an episode for today with the amount of time we have to chat about it's only fitting we talk about it the topic is time
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Time and Stuff
That is there a word for that feeling? When I when I think about the fact that the longer we're alive, the shorter fraction of your life ever like thing is like you're saying when your kid school feels like it lasts forever and then summer feels long and then you're back. It's good. It feels like every year feels like an eternity. I'm not even that old.
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Time and Stuff
Like, I hope I live to be much older than I am. And still, it's already like multiple years have passed. And I'll be like, it's 2024. For? Oh, what the fuck? The way that perspective changes, I feel a very certain way when I think about that because a lot of times it's unconscious. But I don't know if there's like a word for it.
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Time and Stuff
All my houses give me kisses on the way. I don't know what you're doing to your houses. We get into naked fist fights with bricks.
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Time and Stuff
It's like because it's not like sad or anything, but it's not like a positive feeling. I'm sure there is. I'm sure there's people in the comments right now like screaming at me. But do you guys get that feeling? Do you know that feeling I'm talking about?
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Time and Stuff
drawn together do you guys remember drawn together i remember it i didn't watch all of it they had some fairly crude ones i'm sure family guy has done that before you know yada yada yada concluding point good point mark all right i have a quiz i guess it's for mark because wade can't lose but uh so wade you talked about time dilation astronaut scott kelly spent 340 days in total on the international space station
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Time and Stuff
Because of this, because he was moving at such a high rate of speed orbiting the Earth, how much faster do you think time went for Scott Kelly? How much older do you think he is than, interesting fact, his actual twin brother who does exist and lives on Earth? Okay, so... 340 days, almost a full year on the International Space Station orbiting the Earth at 15, 5,000. How fast did those go?
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Time and Stuff
15 trillion miles an hour? Don't fact check me. Is he physically aging faster? Excuse me, Wade.
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Time and Stuff
Ha! When you said check this out, it sounded like you were in a 1930s phone call.
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Time and Stuff
Yeah, specifically the part about living under the lake was what got my attention, but... Don't go to Minnesota.
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Time and Stuff
No, I totally get the idea of like, oh, you have indicators physiologically that you could measure where it's like, oh, your heart health is very good or not or very bad. And you're actually cardiac wise. You're older than you should be or whatever. I don't know what measures these guys are using when they do this, but I can't. It's never that drastic.
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Time and Stuff
There's just no way that it's that drastic of a change. And I feel like it's cheating because the main thing that living underwater affects is probably like your blood oxygen saturation because you're living at pressure or something. It affects your red blood cell count, probably. I don't understand. That's temporary.
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Time and Stuff
That goes back to normal when you go back to normal pressure situations, I think.
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Time and Stuff
Older. Astronaut Scott Kelly aged an extra amount of time because he was traveling at such a high rate of speed orbiting on the space station for 340 days. The time moved more quickly. Slowly? God, I'm not smart enough for this. He aged slightly more than the people who were not orbiting on the space station. For him, relatively.
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Time and Stuff
Yeah, you're right. I just can't read. I'm literally looking at a Googled answer to this and I still got it wrong. How much after 340 days orbiting Earth, how much younger is he than his twin brother? 0.0001%. Sure. I don't know how to convert these things. How much percent of his life is five milliseconds?
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Time and Stuff
He is five milliseconds younger than his twin brother after almost a full year orbiting the Earth at 17 trillion miles an hour. And he's going to hold that over his twin for the rest of their lives.
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Time and Stuff
He jumped the bank and burst into flames as they were trying to come across the line.
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Time and Stuff
Yeah, the placenta followed him out and actually doused the flames pretty quickly, but the extent of his injuries was just too much for the triplet brother to... You're saying the placenta was cooked and ready to be shared among the viewers.
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Time and Stuff
Another interesting time fact that I didn't actually know until I started Googling things. You guys know that a jiffy is a formally defined length of time? We call them giffies.
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Time and Stuff
Man, I can't believe that didn't feel good for your eyes. It's unfathomable. Got my eyes.
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Time and Stuff
I don't think people who use in a jiffy use it correctly because it is officially defined in physics as the amount of time it takes light to travel one centimeter. Is Scott Manley a jiffy older or younger than his brother? He's several jiffies, I think, because a jiffy is thirty three point three picoseconds, which I'm pretty sure is the next step down from milliseconds, if not two steps.
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Time and Stuff
Imagine experiencing a jiffy lube. I would pay a lot more than I do if Jiffy Lube actually did do it in a Jiffy.
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Time and Stuff
We defied a pizza place that has like an ad that's like, we'll get your pizza to you in a Jiffy or it's free. I fucking bet. And then you order it and the pizza actually appears in front of you while you're still on the phone. And you're just like, fuck, I guess I owe you $20. I'll tip the guy.
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Time and Stuff
time what what a way what a way to frame it though like hey you're five milliseconds younger than me dick no i'm a billion jiffies younger than you you can't even count that many jiffies it might even be a trillion it's i i'm not 100 sure because it was 33 pico seconds to five milliseconds it might be a trillion i i don't know are picos big or small well it evolves into raichu so i don't know
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Time and Stuff
Oh, it's clearly possible. It's clearly... I don't even... We didn't even discuss it.
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Time and Stuff
I prefer to think of it by the Futurama model. which if you're not familiar with, I can explain quickly.
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Time and Stuff
For personal and emotional reasons, I prefer the Futurama model. There's an episode of Futurama where the professor invents a time travel device, but it only goes forward in time, and it just has a lever, and you can just turn up how fast. If you're inside, you can fast forward through time, basically.
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Time and Stuff
And they, through some calamity and mishap, they accidentally just like slam that bitch on full fast forward and they end up way in the future. And they see a bunch of different future things that happen and they get to the end of time. Eventually at the near the end of the episode, they get to the end of time and it's just like nothingness.
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Time and Stuff
And it's like, we're going to see the universe die because it's the heat death. It's expanded so much that there's basically nothing anywhere that's meaningfully observable. And they're just like crack a beer and sit there. And then they watch it as it condenses back down. And then the big bang happens.
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Time and Stuff
And then they loop back around and they actually end up back in their correct time because it's just one big loop. But they're just a little higher.
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Time and Stuff
You might not even notice. I mean, you will die, but you might just sort of
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Time and Stuff
poof out of existence in a relatively painless experience aside from probably being terrifying on the way in or whatever has anybody done that then live to talk about it other than matthew mcconaughey no came back out he's like i found a lincoln in the black hole cooper what are you doing in the black hole i'm just living man l-i-v-i-n
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Time and Stuff
Yeah, those stupid fucking commercials. Eating food. I love eating food. E-A-T-I-N. Those are the dumbest commercials. They always make me laugh. I like all... They don't make me laugh. They make me angry. I like all the things in them. I like the food. I like the football. But McConaughey is fine. He's a good actor. He's fine. Stupidest commercial idea ever. I'm just eating rice.
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Time and Stuff
Is that a character thing for Makani? He just spells everything. That's all I know from your interpretation. All right. Thanks so much for having me on your show, Stephen Colbert. I just got to go. J-U-S-T-G-O-T-T-A-G-O. I thought you were spelled out. I just got a G-A-C-K-O-F-F. I got to go. I would never do that. N-E-V-E-R-D-O-T-H-A-T.
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Time and Stuff
What are the rules on how many words you have to spell, Matthew? Well, it's really more of a feeling. F-E-E-L-I-N.
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What you need, along with your mini blower, is a mini vacuum. And so you can just like, and hold one and do one and it'll be a hole. I really blasted dust straight into my eyeballs.
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Well, he strikes me as more of a listener. L-I-S-T-N-E-R. No, there's another E in there. I lost again!
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spelling bees you know he takes they had to do when he was filming interstellar because he just kept spelling every line there's actually some trimmed edits there at the end of every take he just spelled out something the director's like god damn it is that a joke tars t-a-r-s damn it murph murph m-u-r-p-h Oh, man, I hope that's a thing that happens that we're just not privy to as normal humans.
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Time and Stuff
This is unrelated, except physics is kind of related. Have you guys seen the clip of some people watching Oppenheimer in a theater? And it's like way after it has been out. So there's like a handful of people. And it gets to that point in the movie where they're detonating the first nuclear bomb. Spoilers. And in the movie, it's very dramatic. And they're like 10.
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nine they count down and it gets to the moment zero click and then the movie goes dead silent and the whole explosion everything is like silence there's there's this clip that goes it gets to the zero and right as the button is pushed and the silence hits someone just goes And the whole five guys in the theater are just like, nice, nice. Oh, yeah.
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It makes me upset that I find it so funny, but I will laugh that every single time it comes up anywhere on my phone, on social media. It's always worth it.
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Dude, imagine if everyone survives but the guy who farted because he kind of deserved it. He deserved to survive. You fart when a nuclear bomb's going off, you get what you get. That was the rules. The guys who were there at the original Trinity detonation, they were like, don't look at it except through this glass and don't fart till it's over. God's sake, kill us all.
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There's your 3D glasses and your fart diaper. Enjoy Oppenheimer. It's a genius of our time.
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Mark, I just want to circle back to something. Is that still Amy's mug you're using? Oh, God. What?
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I couldn't remember what it was last time, but it just had the vibe of like that would be Amy's mug.
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I think we have a pretty competitive race, except for one time I lost 10 wins arbitrarily, and so I'm forever behind you guys now.
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One of the Christmas presents I did get is an instant camera. It's not a Polaroid. I was trying to not say Polaroid, but it's an Instax. It's one of those where you snap it and it poops out the little thing and then the picture develops.
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I think technically Wade has the most wins by maybe two or three, but I think I'm way behind because I lost a whole bunch all at once during some sort of mishap that happened. So feel free to do that, Mark. I will happily... Take a commanding lead.
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Time and Stuff
Well, starting off this year strong, just like I started the last year. I am undefeated and I will remain thusly. D-H-U-S-L-Y. No loser speeches in 2025, just like I didn't give a single loser speech, as I recall, in 2024. And it feels good. Feels about the same because I've been winning, stay winning. But let's keep going.
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uh anyway those are awesome and i love them they're adorable you immediately have a little keepsake you can take pictures of people and give the pictures to those people highly recommend i'm like so late on this that it's it was cool and then it wasn't and then it was cool again and it's already not cool and i'm just getting in on this but we've been doing that since polaroids yeah yeah i think it's cool i'm really proud of you man
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I'm not sponsored. It's not the first device, but it is close. I think I have the first device.
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I think knife people might disown me on this one. I I've come to a realization lately that the only thing, the only knife you need, if you want it just to like a knife that for the, for what you're talking about, you should get a utility knife. I have a utility knife. Yeah, I think it's upstairs. I have a folding utility knife. It folds in half just like that one.
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So the one half is just the handle and the other half is the part that holds the little razor blade thing. This is the best knife I've ever owned. It's always sharp. If it's not sharp, literally the one I have, the handle holds replacement blades. So I can on the fly just be like, oh, this blade's done. Boop, fresh blade. And you're not afraid of breaking it, right? Like those blades are thin.
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But if you snap a blade off in your utility knife, you're like, ah, whatever. You put a new one in. You're not like, oh, I'm going to break the tip off this nice knife I got. I cannot recommend highly enough a collapsible utility knife that has extra blades in the handle. Buy like three of those and leave them in your workspaces or wherever you want them. I usually have one on my desk here.
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I don't know where I went. I guess I have a Leatherman on my desk, so that's why I don't. I'd rather have a utility knife because the Leatherman is fine, but it's kind of a crappy knife, honestly. You could buy them on Amazon for super cheap. You could go to any hardware store and they'll have the collapsible ones now. Like, it's just so good.
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That's a knife pen. The pop-up, because it goes... It doesn't pop up? What the hell kind of X-Acto knife are you using? Is X-Acto the right word? X-Acto knives are the ones where it's a little pen looking stick and you put a cap on it because it has a tiny little triangular blade on the tip and it's for like... Oh, that's not what I'm talking about then.
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Oh, you're talking about like a box cutter, like a sliding action box cutter. Yeah, box cutter. Those are called box cutters, which is the exact same thing I was talking about in a different shape. I am not a knife guy. Knife guys, come get us.
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My buddies in college, two of my best friends, lived room together freshman year of college, and they went to Purdue University. And one of them was in, I forget what his major was, but he's doing something where he had to build like architectural models. which involves cutting a lot of foam core board and like gluing building, you know, building little buildings and whatever.
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And so he had an exacto knife. He's like on the floor of their dorm room doing some homework project. And my other buddy was fucking around and like, I don't know why, but lunged at him. And my friend's response was using an exacto knife was to just go, ah, stabbed him with an exacto knife, like really bad at his thigh in the middle of the night in their dorm room.
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good it was fine it was fine he survived but uh funny stuff you know funny stuff if they had mark's blower they could have kept the blood in yeah you stick that's what you want you want to blow a bunch of air bubbles in there find the find the biggest artery that's exposed and just poop and then inflate that mother.
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I don't know how relatable this was, but it feels relatable to me. I've been thinking about 3D printing a lot since we talked about it. And in my head, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm getting back into it, too. What I've done is look online at a bunch of new kinds of filament and look at the software and look at models.
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I haven't done any physically tangible anything to actually get anywhere closer to 3D printing because I need to clean the print bed and calibrate the thing. But in my head, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm doing it, too.
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Oh, busy. I cook. You know what? I learned this holidays, guys. I like cooking food for people. You just don't like storing it in a cold box. No, we got the fridges all sorted out. It's going to be at least 18 months till we have to buy another fridge. I'm going to enjoy the peace while it lasts. How many fridges are you guys buying a year?
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I will literally put it in my scene. I will have a 3D printer actively printing while we record.
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If you had a soldering iron and LEDs and a little bit of know-how, you could 3D print some kind of housing and solder up an LED array and you could make your own light bulb.
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That's interesting. Oh! Does it turn into an infinite explosion like it did in that one Minecraft mod? I mean, pretty much.
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If you already have a light bulb in the place where you want the light bulb, you already have a socket. You could use, you could salvage parts from the light bulb that was burned out. So you could just use that socket for the rest of your life and keep, you know, printing new. Well, you'd still be wasting the plastic, I guess, theoretically.
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Not win-ventions? There's just one. It's fine. All right, I've got one actually that's real, and you're going to love the name. You're going to love the name. You'll understand why this sold.
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What is Radithor? Okay, Radithor is a patented medicine from 1932. No, 1918 is when it was introduced. Radithor by William J.A. Bailey. His biggest commercial success. Sold 400,000 bottles between 1925 and 1930. It's a lot of Radithor. Oh, it's so much Radithor. People were buying it left and right. It was curing all kinds of ales for everybody. William J.A. Bailey, a dropout from Harvard College.
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Not a doctor, just so we all know. advertised it as, quote, a cure for the living dead. Wow. It cures zombieism? Oh, yeah. As well as perpetual sunshine in a bottle. It cures sunshine or it gives you sunshine? It's perpetual sunshine.
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Anyway, so it was all ruined by someone named Eben Byers who, you know, actually graduated from college, Yale. Boring. They drank 1,400 bottles of Radithor beginning in 1927 and stayed alive and healthy until the ripe old age of 1932. They were that old? Well, yeah. Well, I mean, he died in 1932.
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He's still alive right now. What a strange, you know, unrelated things about his death. You know, he had his jaw removed before he died. Probably unrelated. And also he was buried in a lead-lined coffin.
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Well, I mean, probably is probably something. He was a weirdo. You know, he died for mysteriously. And also his corpse had the like equivalent radio radioactivity of about four thousand four hundred bananas, which is, you know, putting in perspective, that's not that bad.
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Yeah, I know, right? I might actually be misreading that entirely, but his body was radioactive. Turns out Radithor was a patented medicine with distilled water containing one microcurie of radium-226 and radium-228. Hmm.
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Yeah, we just don't have enough data. I mean, it would definitely kill all the things in you. Yeah, well, I mean, he sold 400,000 bottles of this, and this one guy drank 1,400 of them. That's quite a lot. Yeah. They're half-ounce bottles, so he only drank 700 ounces.
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yeah um it's good here uh still busy as usual but finally getting back in the swing of the youtube uh thing which you know i have been uh caught out of practice for a while but i'm getting into it because i just oh man i miss just having to worry about that
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was he teaching like treating like five hour energy he's like oh yawned must need another bottle of ratathor it kind of looks like a five hour energy bottle wait let me show you let me show you a picture of this is actually um it looks suspiciously similar to uh a five hour energy bottle like a yield five hour energy yield five hour it's triple distilled
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Yeah, of course not. Mesothorium? That's good stuff. Alright, anyway, so that's an invention. I won't say it's bad.
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Oh, I see it. I found it. Yeah. That's... Oh, wow. Ooh. Classy. That is classy.
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I have a couple. I'm trying just to determine which one's the weirdest. That's not terribly weird. Why would you say that? It's unusual. Oh, while I figure this one out, I just remembered one that I actually know about. Did you know about the testing of one of the earliest parachutes? No. No, I don't think so.
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So this is before the parachute was perfected, but I think we owe a lot to Franz Reichelt, Austro-Hungarian-born guy, who unfortunately passed away in 1912 at the age of 33, so really not terribly that old. But he really, really, really wanted to make the parachute work. And lo and behold, he actually got permission by the French government to test his parachute off of the Eiffel Tower.
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There is video of this guy testing his parachute. It was filmed both from the top of when he jumped off and the bottom when he landed safely.
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He landed, so it goes, he, at 8.22 a.m., observed by a crowd of about 30 journalists and curious onlookers, Reichelt readied himself facing towards the Seine River on a stool placed on a restaurant table next to the interior guardrail of the tower's first deck, a little more than 187 feet above ground, 57 meters.
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After adjusting his apparatus with the assistance of his friends and checking the wind direction by throwing a piece of paper taken from a small book, he placed one foot on the guardrail, hesitated for about 40 seconds, then leapt outwards. According to Le Figaro, he was calm and smiling just before he jumped through his 40 seconds of hesitation.
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His parachute opened only about halfway, folded around him almost immediately, and he fell for a few seconds before striking the frozen soil at the foot of the tower. Ooh. How is he now? Well, he was already dead by the time onlookers rushed to his body. Okay. I mean, big mistake doing this in the middle of winter when things were frozen.
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I do this. Mentioned an autopsy concluded that Reichelt died of a heart attack during his fall.
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oh no so he would have survived he would have made it he's just too scared anyway so yeah uh that was the one of the earliest um parachutes we don't know if it's the earliest so maybe in human history people were trying different things probably uh the depth of the crater he left was about 15 centimeters or 5.9 inches if anyone was yamchad I think maybe, actually.
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Hmm. Tell Jenkins we need the prototype by tomorrow. Ah, yes, sir. I'll get to that right now. Like, what the fuck? It's just guys yelling into tubes running around the whole factory.
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That's what I've always said. It's nice. I mean, multiplayer is good for every once in a while, but, you know, sometimes just... I hate solo content.
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He just couldn't get away from his desk. Man, I bet there was like plans for inner city tubes just going everywhere. It was like, we can make this happen.
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Man, if we weren't, you know, in a universe where electricity worked, I wonder how far people would push technology like this, you know? That's what steampunk's all about, is like, things just can't progress any farther than that. So this is just reality. It's the pinnacle. And it's great. I think.
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i okay so there's an inventor that i think we've talked a little bit about his name is thomas midgley jr right so this guy he's the guy that was like we should add lead to gasoline we should make these uh chlorofluorocarbons that cause the hole in the ozone right but and you'd think those would be you know inventions to leave a legacy behind
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Like he's often known as like one of the most destructive people to ever live on humanity as a whole. Right. Uh, did terrible things, you know, with the lead gasoline and, and, The atom bomb, lead ozone guy. I mean, look, if you want to go by the numbers, there's actually math behind it of the amount of destruction.
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Also, I think he pioneered the use of Freon, which I think is more safe for, you know, like for Draco. Yeah, Freon very bad. We like freedom on. But his own invention that he made Because he had polio, right? So he got polio at 51. So he invented a series of ropes and pulleys to lift himself out of bed.
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But on November 2nd, 1944, at the age of 55, he was found dead in his home because he had been killed by his own device after he became entangled in it and died of strangulation. He should have known. Don't invent anything else.
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Yeah, he's up there. He's definitely up there. His name will live on in infamy. What was it? I don't remember. All right. Thomas. No, Thomas Midgley Jr.
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Uh, there was a guy... Well, okay, I was gonna say this one, but I read right now that he didn't invent it. So Jimmy Heseldon owned Segway, and his Segway went off a cliff and he died. But he didn't invent it, so I don't think that that counts. I will say there is a guy named Valerian Abakovsky who invented what he called the Aero Wagon. I mean, it just looks awesome.
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Let me show you a picture of this. This thing actually looks kind of, kind of, kind of awesome. It's, it's a rail car with an aircraft engine in it and propellers on the front? I can't tell, you know, I look at these pictures nowadays, and I'm like, I don't know if this is an AI-generated picture, because you never know. But this is on Wikipedia, so who knows? I think it's real.
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But the story is as follows. Oh, man, look at a picture of this guy. Again, wait, I'm going to show you a picture. Again, looks, some don't look right about it.
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He's a crooked man. He's a crooked man, but he was trying to revolutionize things because he made the Aero Wagon, which was an experimental high-speed rail car fitted with an airplane engine and propeller propulsion originally invented to carry Soviet officials, specifically Soviet officials.
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In 1921, July 24th, he and a group of communists, led by Soviet politician Fyodor Sergeyev, took the air wagon from Moscow to the Tula colonies to test it. Abakovsky was on board, and they successfully arrived in Tula. On the return route to Moscow, however, the air wagon derailed at high speed, killing seven of the 22 on board. Damn. Including... This is a suspicious list.
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A Bulgarian delegate, an Australian delegate, a German delegate, a British delegate, Fyodor Sergeyev, the guy earlier before, not the inventor, another German delegate, and the inventor himself. It's a strangely not Russian list of people that died in this incident, but I'm not saying anything about that. But he invented that. It crashed, and they never did it again.
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The last chemical fire grenades. I like it. I think I've actually heard of this before. I didn't know it was bad.
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I mean, legitimately, there's a modern one of this. I have a video of it right now.
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They had the right idea that just the wrong execution because here is the modern version of it It is literally it looks just like you're talking about a ball. Boom.
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You're supposed to throw it into the fire. I believe I've seen another video of it. Firefighting grenade. And it actually does seem kind of effective. Oh, here we go. Here's another one. Let me... Oh, this video is so good. Alright, so you throw it in and POOM! Oh! I like that! I know, right? Oh, I want to buy one! Give me 20!
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Tape two to his hands. So he's always holding them. Can't start a fire if you don't have your hands. I like the idea.
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i i honestly do think it's kind of a an interesting idea um it's guaranteed to spread whatever fire retardant that it has in it in a in an area and also it doesn't mean you need to get close to it but yeah bad arms bad throwing not great if you're trying to do that so leave it to the train throwers uh i have one and it's it might be too soon but ocean gate Okay.
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So two years ago, a man by the name of Richard Stockton Rush III, co-founder and chief executive officer of Ocean Gate, a deep sea exploration company, or I'm thinking it was, you know, went down in his... submarine that he made out of carbon fiber composites. And I actually watched a video of exactly where it went wrong.
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Because when the carbon fiber was wrapped... I mean, it's not a good idea anyway to use these materials. There's a reason... Not to. Because carbon fiber, while being very strong for its weight, has problems with, you know, over time. But not only that, apparently when they made it and they wrapped it, they actually just ground down any imperfections in it before they added another layer.
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So with carbon fiber... It's continuous strands of carbon. It's very strong that way, but it's one thin strand. So they weave a lot of it together to cover an area. So it's not one unified thing, but they will put epoxy on it or resins, and they'll build strength that way. But if you grind it down, you cut those fibers where you're grinding it, so those are no longer together.
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So when they layered it, it didn't matter how many layers they had. Eventually, they had points of failure through the entirety of the hull. That was one of the many reasons why it failed. the only silver line to this is the death was so quick. None of them could even, it's not that they didn't feel it. They didn't even register it in their brain that it happened.
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It's about the quickest way you could go possibly in anything. So, you know, it's not good, but you know, at least there's that. Um, but he did invent it and it's not a good idea to do that. And he's quoted his legacy is this quote, I think in a nutshell, um, You know, at some point, safety is just pure waste.
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I mean, if you just want to be safe, don't get out of bed, don't get in your car, don't do anything. At some point, you're going to take some risk, and it really is a risk-reward question. I think I can do this just as safely by breaking the rules. So there's that. It's truly unfortunate what happened, especially the other people that were on board for it, that put their trust in it.
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It's just bad across the board. But yeah, that was an invention. Oof. Oof indeed.
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I don't see why you couldn't. But also, I don't see why you couldn't just get a UV lamp in general and sit on it. It would probably work. The armpits would be tougher, so it makes sense that they made these for the armpits.
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Whole-flashin'. Old-fashioned whole-flashin'. I got another one. These just get progressively more sad. Well, not progressively. They're all just sad. You decide what's sad or not. There was a guy named Carol Suchek. So he was a stuntman. from Czech. Uh, he went over to Niagara Falls in a barrel in 1984. He lived from that attempt, um, or not attempt. He did it.
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He said, uh, he wore, he was in a barrel that said on it last to the Niagara Daredevils, 1984, it's not whether you fail or triumph, it's that you keep your word. and at least try. It rolled over the Niagara River, it made it, and it's totally fine. He emerged bleeding, but he was alive. He was fined $500, and then he was like, I'm gonna build an even better one.
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He got a taste of success, he decided to build another one, and he was going to test it during a stunt show in the Houston Astrodome over a tank of water. Everything probably was going to work just fine. However, on January 19th, 1985, while he was in the barrel, 180 feet above the floor of the Astrodome, the barrel was released prematurely and began spinning as it fell towards the floor.
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Instead of landing in the center of the tank of water, it hit the rim. of the tank. Foam pads, which had been placed at the bottom of the tank, had floated to the surface before it was released. Everything went wrong. He was still alive when he was cut from the barrel, but died shortly thereafter.
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And apparently, stuntman Evil Knievel had tried to persuade Suchik not to go through with it, calling it, quote, the most dangerous I've ever seen. So if Evil Knievel says not to do that, probably shouldn't do it.
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Honestly, this makes sense. I'm looking at a picture of it. I'm like, yeah, if they couldn't master gears or like the kind of chain to drive the back.
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It's just a scooter. It's a razor scooter, basically. But, you know, if they had just made a razor scooter, it would have made a lot more sense. This is what that does.
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that's a that's a modern reimagining of it where there's like you wear a harness and hang from the top of it and run underneath it bob you know you've just done you reminded me that i have not checked up on electric bike technology in a while i'm about to go down a rabbit hole again rabbit hole time that's no that's what i'm going to be talking about for the next few weeks don't you have one of those i do i do i just haven't been riding much because i haven't had much to go but you know maybe i should again
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Yeah, but I mean, that wasn't really the problem. I think I just, I had the crash, and then I went to somewhere to do something. Well, I mean, it wasn't a crash like it was bad and I was scarred for life. I just, I got hurt and my bike got beat up, and so I think I still need to fix it. I just haven't gotten around to it. I fell out of the habit, but I want to get back into it again.
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fun e-bikes are fun and only kind of as dangerous as motorcycles are oh yeah anyway have you guys heard of the brazen bull yes actually i like this this is a good it's a good direction the name sounds familiar i like the alliteration well you shouldn't uh so the brazen bull it's it's more of a legend than anything but it definitely is a thing that was made but the situation around its invention might be just you know a legend so it was made um
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Not good. No, yeah, problem. When we start talk like caveman. When we swing club. Me like range. Me like top. Golf. Football in hole. Me got new floral polo. Look good? I think match Chino is nice.
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in ancient Greece by Diodorus Sisulus? No, that's who, that's not the inventor, that's who is recounting the story, right? So it's basically a big bronze bowl, hollow inside, door on one side.
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And it was apparently, it was brought forward before the king or whatever, and the guy who invented it said, like, you put someone in there, light a fire underneath, and when they scream in agony, I've made the mouth like a trumpet that'll make their screams sound like a bull going, So the king said, wow, that's terrible. Why don't you test it out?
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And they shoved the inventor in there, and they lit it on fire, and he died, apparently. I like how on Wikipedia it says type, torture device, inventor, perilous of Athens, manufacturer, perilous of Athens. Available? No. Available? Amazon link. Currently sold out. Check back later. So there you have it. I don't know if they used it after that. I'm pretty sure they probably did.
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I have an audio recording of it right now. Play it, editors. Yep, there you have it.
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It's great. Honorary terrible thing to whoever invented, like, cave exploring. Terrible. Oh, yeah.
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What an idea. Man, the future was now. They'd always be in econ mode. I think that's all I got. I mean, they just get more hearsay. I'm not sure if they're real at this point.
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Still works. I thought it was like a black hole simulator. It's like, have you ever wanted to experience spaghettification in person? This will stretch you to infinity.
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Oh, come on. That could be either of us. You can't have happy without sad. You need to have the contrast. You need to have the contrast. And you can add it next time.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Yeah, the stuntman guy. The stuntman guy. Well, his barrel was fine, it's just the launching of the barrel didn't go so good.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
god damn it you gotta be fucking kidding me point for viewers what we gotta get some warm-up spins on this thing we gotta like get the rng going this is crazy there's no way well let me looking at the final score now that the viewers it was viewers right uh yeah yes it was
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Yeah, I think him being invited, I think I declare, wait, I declare if I win this, you get uninvited from golf. I don't think it's fair that you two get to have fun golfing, and I don't. I declare that's unfair. Not about winning the episode. It's just about going for golf.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Oh, thank God. All right, fine. Heads is good for you? I don't remember which one's which. No, tails. Wait, no. Yeah, heads is good for me.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
These rules make so much sense. They just play themselves out. I'm going to make an episode that's just coin flip the episode.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
I'm going to perfect that. People, when they get it, they're going to laugh so hard and they're going to be so excited. They're going to be like, wow, this was so worth it. And it's not even like the other ones were bad. They were great. They're very funny. But no, no, no. It's going to be nuts when I get this.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Yeah, I would say that I think we can all look at the brazen bull half full or half empty. Just because my inventions were all related to the death of their inventor and not just being a minor inconvenience or silly, I think, you know, I think, um, I think the results speak for themselves at how biased it was, but I don't have a coin to toss about it.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
I don't think that'll ever happen. I don't think that's, none of the cards.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
I don't have any. Plans are actively working right now. I don't know what you're talking about.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Which is strange, because I'm actually in this room probably the least. Not anymore, with all my recording I'm doing, with all the YouTubes that I'm handling.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
In other update nudes about the weirdness of the Apple business side of things, I've gone down a little farther because I had that custom store they made me, right? And so I reached out again because I was like, I just want... I've seen it. That's the thing. I've seen the basic business store. There is... A basic business store that's like the front page store that you get when you go to Apple.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
And I saw it once and then never again. And I don't know what's going on. Because also, I was trying to set up for like a... They call it like the Apple Business Manager. And so when you buy a computer, you can have it automatically...
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
you know set up itself as soon as it connects to the internet if it's connected to your to your business account it's useful if i'm trying to do that thing where i'm trying to test out if i'm going to render with them and i get a couple with them it'll automatically just like put all the software on there as soon as it connects the internet i don't have to go into it nothing i i couldn't use it with my apple
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
email i couldn't use it with another email that i i did with that i had to make a separate one that was not tied to my business account already even though i made my business account with the same one that i do with everything else i had to make a completely separate one and then i had to register for what's called a duns number you ever heard of a duns number it sounds like an impolite way of calling you a dunce without you knowing it
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
What's weird about it is, if you have a business, you have what's called an EIN, right? It's an Employer Identification Number. It's like, you know, the kind of social security number for your business. Well, the Dunn's number is from Dunn and Bradstreet. Oh, those guys. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Brooks and Dunn's.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Pretty much, it's basically just a separate organization that all these businesses go to to get a number for...
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Turns out businesses just can make businesses that don't have anything to do with anything else, but just being there for businesses to go through more hoops. You are a hoop maker. So a Dun & Bradstreet Duns number, D-U-N-S, is a unique nine digit identifier for businesses that is associated with a business's live business identity.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
the fuck does that mean why do i need this literally on the pages what is a dumb number and why do i need it says it may help evaluate potential partners seek new contracts apply for loans and so much more how how does it do that what does it do i just want to Anyway, so it's just, I see so much why I hated working in a cubicle in a business. I hate the way businesses run in general.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
I find it to be so infuriating, some of the arbitrarily stupid things that go on just for the sake of business, business, business. It's annoying, and I hate it.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Man, I mean, yeah, I don't know. It's you go to the about us page on Duns and Breasts. We actionable data to drive performance, accelerate growth, navigate risk and control costs with reliable data and insights to power business decisions for any organization of any size anywhere across the globe. What do you do? What do you do? They give you a number. Isn't it obvious? Oh, data.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Data to power the world's leading companies. Data that is unrivaled. Our data, best data ever. Look at our infographic. I'm looking at their infographic. Oh, man. Go on.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
This is one of those things where it's like, is this a scam? it seems like a scam because it's like it says 200 million trade payment experiences with 2b updates monthly what does that mean 1.4 billion match points what 153 million linked records in a family tree Great. 26 million supply chain illumination on 26 million companies. What?
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Tier N includes 82 million direct suppliers relationships, 35 million T1, T2, and T3 relationships. The fuck are you talking about? What do you do?
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
So you still can't buy a phone? No, I still haven't done anything, because I'm at a loss every single second that I'm trying to explore any of this stuff.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? That's what Uber is all about.
Distractible
Weird (Part 4)
Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours. Uber, on our way to your house, Wade.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Ja, weißt du was? Just to help my buddy Mark along, I'll give him in sheath.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
So like here in Cincinnati, there's a lake called East Fort. Fort? East Fork.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
What are we doing? Mark and I both had our own paths. We did not cooperate. I went toward light beer. He went to Sabertooth.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
No, I was gonna clear that, I was gonna say kill in the bill, you know?
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Mehr als 15 Minuten. Du und ich hatten beide fünf Worte. Wir waren so, das wird da kommen. Das wird da kommen. Wir sind nicht so nah gekommen.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Auf der linken Seite des Bildes haben wir eine Hand mit einer Schlaufe, die über die Rüste gerollt ist. Wir haben einen schönen blauen Himmel, leichte Flügel. Die Hand scheint einen Stick mit einem Akorn aufzuhalten. Wahrscheinlich ein Chessnut. Auf der anderen Seite... We have a gentleman with a black bowler hat, I think they're called. Wearing a green jacket on the outside.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Lift up. Maybe off was the word I was trying to say. I was like, there's something that just starts with lift. What is it? Lift up. Lift up. That's it.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Er hat gespielt, ich habe gejagt, aber er hat gespielt. Ja, wir gehen, Mann.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
I feel that way every time you give me what we're doing. Granted, I don't know how I'm landing this, so I hope it doesn't come down to me.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Ich stehe immer noch in meinem Helikopter, um zu sehen, wie ein Elefant landen kann. Oh Mann, aber es war genau da, Mann, es war genau da. Es war sicherlich wahrscheinlich. Okay, okay, ähm, nein, ich kann es nicht. Was willst du sagen?
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Where did this great plan of yours bring you, Mark? Back to me. Offload. I'm heading right toward elephant.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Looks like the inside is yellow. It's kind of a leprechaun-y look. The man is an older gentleman with grey hair, some grey eyebrows. He's holding his left hand up to admit he cheated. And his right hand is wrapped up on what looks like a chestnut balloon string.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
End of the show. End of the show. End of the show. Joe Elephant.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Ich habe es sofort, als du gesagt hast, Show, aber ich wollte, dass du squirmst.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
The only one I had was Blue Elephant, which is like the dude from Star Wars. Blue Elephant? What? Yeah, the Blue Elephant guy who plays like the keyboard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Robot Chicken had a whole thing, like they did a song where like fucking one of the NSYNC guys came on, not actually, but was like singing about being a blue elephant.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Like his whole shtick was he was a blue elephant. So I was like, Dude, they must both be thinking, blue elephant, that's the one.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Er ist nicht falsch, das ist sie. Ich habe sie gesehen. Ihr Name war drauf.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Wade geht zuerst. Großartig. Cloud. So viele Dinge, die folgen. Cloud in the Sky.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
I don't know why my brain doesn't go for the words that you can connect. It's like, I need to get the foot. Because foots are connected to shoes.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
See if you can get there any faster, viewing and listening audience.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
What, did you forget sheath into east was a thing? Sheath into east.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Yeah, I thought we were talking about, I didn't know we were talking about Cheesers. Oh, he had steel Cheesers?
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
You know what people will always remember this for, other than maybe Mabunil, which I hope they do, is sheath and de east.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Oh, believe me, I would have never thought of sheath and de east. I still don't know what the fuck it means, but I'm glad it worked.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Alright, I won. I feel like crap, but you know, I had some good laughs, some good moments. And I'm gonna probably pass out for a little while after this. But it was a good time, good game. I wanna play this again. I want all three of us to somehow play it together. I don't know, but great episode, Bob, Mark, you and I. Like we were reading each other's sentences.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
I can't tell you the number of times I've walked by a Scottish construction site and just heard them whistle and go, Bald! The bald calling. I'm glad it's coming to an end.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Great article, man. That was a good find. I'm glad that my kind is finally getting the recognition and treatment we deserve.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Oh, you know what? You know what I was gonna bring up? I forgot. Last episode, somehow this completely slipped my mind. We were talking about cringe stuff.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Yeah, man. That one. But I thought of a cringe moment that happened to me in front of you two.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
I think we were doing the tour. I think we were doing the You're Welcome Tour. It could have been a convention. I don't remember exactly the specifics. But we were walking from either the convention center or the show center to a hotel. We came across some fans. Und da war ein Typ in einem Rollstuhl und zwei andere Leute mit ihm. Und sie kamen auf und sagten, hey, könnt ihr signen?
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Er war so, ja, warte, kannst du mein Arm signen? Ich war so, ja, klar. Also habe ich ein Sharpie genommen. Und direkt am Herzen seines Elbens habe ich meinen Namen gesignet. Und wahrscheinlich war die Teil der Gespräche, die ich verpasst habe, dass er all diese Tattoos auf seinem Arm bekommen würde. Ahhhh. Als ich seinen Bein gesignet habe, hat er mich so traurig geschaut.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Ich dachte mir, das wird so viel schmerzen. Und ich dachte mir, was? Der Sharpie? Ich hatte keine Ahnung, dass der Mann diesen Tattoos bekommen wird.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Well, you know the second one we have to charge 50 grand. The first one's free, but the second one we gotta charge a lot of money.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
But yeah, I remember just that feeling of like him looking sad. I was so proud. I was like, dude, that came out really well. I should sign bones more often. It's a nice tight surface where the W looks great. One of my better signatures. And he just looked so sad.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
You all looked at me like I was the biggest asshole. You're like, dude, why would you sign that? I was like, I didn't know he was going to get tattooed. I missed that part of the conversation.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Yeah, I recalled that after the episode. I was like, oh, I forgot that one. If you're still watching after all these years, I'm so sorry.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
I'd do it again, but like this time it would be intentional. Intentful? Intentional is a word.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Alright, we got Joey Chestnut on my mind or whatever the hell the thing. Joey Chestnut?
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
Can we start from the top with describing the picture? It's too late now.
Distractible
Definitely Real Things
That makes more sense than the weird metal rod Wolverine claw I was picturing.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
I was, you know, you know, it was amazing in the beginning was you couldn't shoot the body portion and the face portion at the same time. So I was locked down. You literally could not move your head and they would capture your facial gestures in this orb. And you couldn't move your head. And I'm such a physical actor and it's all connected, you know.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And I just found that to be incredibly difficult and even frustrating. And as the technology moved along and I was developing it with them. I was telling them my experience. I was, you know, saying this would be better if we could do this. And they're like, oh, yeah, we're working on that. To now where I can walk on a set in my motion capture suit, I could play with the other actors.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
I could pick up props. I could do everything that you were not allowed to do in the beginning. And it's just taken this huge technological leap.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, my God. I mean, I wasn't well-known in comparison. It was a radical change in every way that I live publicly. I do lament the loss of being able to observe the world without it observing me back or being the one observed. But, you know, it's like everything. It's a blessing and it's a curse at once.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
It can. I have developed this incredible way. If I'm by myself, I could pretty much disappear. Especially in New York. No one looks at each other in New York. We're so on top of each other that Everyone wants to give each other their space and they want their space in an emotional sense. And so that means not looking people in the face or the eyes.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
You know, you'd be on the subway and there's 100 people there and not one person's, you know, unless they know each other or they're a tourist, is looking at anybody else.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
I'll do that. I'll wear such a ridiculous hat. My glasses are so ridiculous that people are embarrassed to look at me. It's like a camouflage of unsightliness.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, days. And, you know, we became friends. And I asked if it was okay for him to be with us while we were shooting. And obviously he's so invested in it. He was actually a filmmaker first. He went to AFI in the screenwriting program. Yeah. And he just became this invaluable reference for all of us. But I went to the Globe the first day.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
I had my phone camera and I had my notepad and I just said, hey, I'd really just like to sit down and watch you work and watch you work the phones and just watch you do what you do. And if you don't mind, I'd like to shoot a little bit of it and And he's like, OK, I'm not really used to that. I'm usually the one who's doing the questions and, you know, the recording. But, yeah, OK.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And it's funny because I know what this process is now. Yeah. And people, they come to you and they're nervous and they're afraid in a way. And then they start to slowly get to know you and they start to open up and they feel safe and they realize that you're just there trying to do right by them. And eventually they show you who they are. But Mike didn't take very long.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And, you know, I saw him working those phones and he had a little bit of a temper sometimes too, which I also just loved, you know. And after that, we usually have to have a drink with somebody for really for them to feel safe with you. That's what I found. And after you have a drink with them, all of a sudden... It's like, okay, we shared the wine, we broke the bread, but we can be real.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Certain people have tension in their bodies in certain places, and it makes them move a certain way. Mike had a sort of... like a tension in his solar plexus area. And it sort of tilts his pelvis forward a little bit. And it's just a subtle thing.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
But the physical work that I've learned how to do was, if you could start picking up some physical qualities of a person, it actually starts to inform a lot about them. And there's a toughness about someone who's holding their pelvis. I mean, you know, where they're holding their solar plexus like that, you know, it's someone who's like protecting something and it makes you walk a certain way.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And it sort of pulls down on your spine, your vocal cords in a certain way. And if you can just listen to that a little bit, you start to get something about the person. And, yeah, so for Mike it was that, you know. These little things, I don't know what it is, but when I'm watching someone, I'm like, oh, that's really interesting. I want to try to assume some of that.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
But I also found when you start doing that, there's an inner quality that starts to come into view. Well, I think that's really interesting. Okay, good. I mean, sometimes I start talking about this and people like literally glaze over. They're like, uh, pelvic? Okay.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Yes, it was a very interesting household, religiously speaking. My family was Italian Catholics, very Catholic, my grandparents. Then my mom and her mother became evangelicals in the First Assembly of God, Pentecostal, Jimmy Swaggart era. And my dad split off completely in a whole other direction into the Baha'i faith. And so, you know, you're in the family and everyone's participating.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Well, you know, I hadn't really played anything like this, and I hadn't done an accent. I hadn't really done any kind of a period piece yet. And, you know, you sort of, you have a career going and you sort of get a brand and mistakenly you start to believe maybe that's who you are, that's how the world wants to see you. And, yeah. And I really wanted to be great in a Yergos Lanthimos movie.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
No, no, no. You know, there was a first assembly of God in Kenosha, Wisconsin at the time. And my grandmother was a member of it. And, you know, these different evangelical preachers would, you know, sort of tour the And he was the star of that at that time. He was, you know, he was their, you know, Elvis of evangelicals. And it was music. I mean, it was it was a pretty lively experience.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And so my grandmother for her birthday asked me to be saved. And I was like, saved from what? I'm like, I'm eight. I haven't even gotten to do anything yet, really. And it was like, no, you were born. I mean, the second you come through the birth canal, you've sinned. That's the original sin. And I'm like, oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, makes sense to me.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
But I was like, yeah, I'll do whatever you want, Grandma, you know? So what was that like? Did everyone sort of line up? Yeah, so they bring the kids down. It was a special moment. We're like, okay, we're going to bring the children down, you know? And so I'm walking down there. I was like, I want to be saved. I mean, I don't want to go to hell. I certainly don't, you know, like that would suck.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And it's going to make my grandma happy. But man, this is so intense down here. And he's so sweaty and everyone's like talking in different languages. And it was so I got down there. And we're lined up and they're going, you know, each kid's getting preyed on from kid to kid and they're falling down or, you know, people are falling over and it wasn't happening. And I was like, I'm not feeling it.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And then finally I was like, oh man, I'm not going to be the one who's like, doesn't get Jesus today. I'm like, no, not me. And I just kind of went with it, you know?
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, God, I felt so ashamed. Yeah. Are you kidding me? I was like, I didn't feel anything. Like, I was supposed to. Everyone here is, like, feeling so much, and I didn't feel anything. And, you know, I went back up there. And she's like, how was it? I was like, oh, it was really good, you know. She's like, did you feel it? I was like, yeah, yeah, I felt it, yeah.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And, man, I mean, what that sets up in you at so early an age is so difficult for your ongoing relationship. It just became this thing that was always there that I didn't understand. Now I do, but I didn't then. And it was just a shameful feeling.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
No, no. I sucked. I wanted to be an actor. from very early on I just didn't know what acting really was you know I had already found myself performing I found myself you know doing skits from the Three Stooges you know doing slapstick pretending I was Charlie Chaplin like I was doing all that but there was no culture for that in you know in my family we were They were house painters.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Then they became construction painters. They were business people. They were very serious about making money. And there wasn't a lot of room for this kind of being a dreamer. So it just wasn't anything that was a possibility to me. My senior year of high school, I dropped out of wrestling. I was an avid wrestler. And I dropped out of wrestling to join...
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And so I said to him, it's ridiculous now, but I said to him, Yergos, I want to work with you. I love you. I don't want to suck in your movie. And I don't know if I'm the right guy for this, you know? So did he have to convince you? It didn't take very much. He just laughed at me. He's just like, you're him. And he just refused to even entertain my trepidation.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
the drama department because i'd walk by the drama department and they'd all be wrestling on the ground just like us but it was like 10 girls and two guys and you know i was like why am i not doing that wrestling you know and so i um and i went in there and i was just like
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
thrilled by it, how emotionally open it was and diverse and accepting and silly and, you know, everything you couldn't be as a young man, you know. And one of the kids in play broke his arm and my teacher, Nancy Curtis, who was like this great theater teacher in the middle of Virginia Beach, like really great. She came to me and said, I want you to replace Scott. And I said, you do?
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And she's like, yeah. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I could do it. She's like, I think you could do it. And so I did it. And I did the first scene. And I was basically just ripping off Peter Falk and Columbo. And I did the first scene. And I got a big laugh. And I said, oh, my God, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. This is amazing.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
It was like that feedback that you got. Yes, that that relationship, you know, it's like it was it was just magical because not only did I get to laugh, but I knew everything. I knew the laugh was coming. I, I felt this communication with the audience and it was telling me what it was asking for. And then it was responding with the laugh or the silence or whatever. And I went to Nancy afterwards.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
I said, um, Mrs. Curtis. Yes, Mark. Uh, Do you think it's too late for me to become an actor? I mean, I'm already 18. She's just like, no, Mark, I don't think it's too late. Yes, I think you can become an actor.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, it's horrible. I mean, I was a jock. I was a surfer. I was a skater. I was in a punk band. I was as much a dude as you could possibly be. But I also just had this other thing that I wanted to try.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Well, my family moved to San Diego the day after I graduated from high school. And, you know, all my friends had gotten into colleges. I didn't get into any colleges. I was a terrible student. I didn't even really apply to that many. And I ended up in San Diego, and I didn't have a plan.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And, you know, through a whole fantastical set of circumstances, I heard about the Stella Adler Conservatory in Los Angeles. That was like two hours away.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Yeah, she was there, but I had the good fortune of walking into the school, and there was a woman there, Joanne Linville, who I recognized immediately as the Romulan commander of Star Trek. And she said, what are you doing here? And I said, I don't have an audition. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have any real training, but I want to spend my life...
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
being an actor and she said well darling you've come to the right place and she really took me under her wing And I wasn't good in the beginning. And it took me a long time. You know who I was in class with who was amazing was Benicio Del Toro. Like, literally, the second he walked in, he was amazing. And I looked at him. I was like, oh, my God, I'll never be that guy. And...
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Yeah, it took me a long time and a lot of auditions before I started to figure out what I was doing.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, my God. It was such a blast. It was so freeing and... You don't realize where a certain role is going to take you. They all take you on kind of a journey. And they all sort of, if you let them, talk to some part of you, somewhere you are, somewhere you want to be, or something that's maybe on your mind subconsciously. And it was really about just being free.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
He was so many people that I knew growing up. And he just felt so close to me. I read it and I said, I have to play this. There's no one else in the world that could play this. And I got to somehow convince Kenny of that, who at the time was really... Because of financial reasons and the way movies are made, he was dead set on getting a star to do it. And I wasn't that.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
But I just was so moved by it. And I felt, I got to play this. There's no one else. You begged to get the role. Basically, I mean, Kenny was like, I can't use you. you know, you don't look anything like Laura Linney. She's the one we're going to cast. And I was just like, just let me come in for an audition, man. You know, we're like, I'm your, I'm a good friend.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And, you know, and, and he's like, fine, just don't stick your manager on me. And I was like, fine, I won't, you know? And so, but he said, okay, you know, the casting's closed. We're going to go to another actor on Monday and, So just come to the production office and I'll tape you myself and I'll read the sides with you. I was like, thank you. And I went in there and
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Man, I knew I had to be better than if I even ever got the part. And so I worked on it, and I worked on it, and I worked on it, and I knew it, and I went in there, and I already knew I had nothing to lose, so I was so free. And we read the first scene. He's holding the camera in one hand and reading the lines in the other, right? And after the first scene, he's like... It was really good.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
He was unhappy about that. Yeah, it wasn't joy. He's like, all right, let's read the next one. And I did that and he's like, oh, that was really good. You'd be really good in this part. And slowly but surely I won him over.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, I don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't get that role.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Oh, for sure. To this day, I'm still waiting for the piano to fall. But that was particularly difficult because I was just starting a family. I'd just bought a house based on this next big job that was coming, which was with M. Night Shyamalan in Signs, co-starring with Mel Gibson. I mean, it was just like this explosion from that movie. And I was the hot guy. And it was all before me.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And it was everything that I'd ever dreamed of. And I'd reached it. I was 33. And... It was gone like that. And I woke up and my face was paralyzed. And they didn't know if it was ever going to come back. And I couldn't even close my eye. And I looked terrible. And I have a baby at home. And my whole life was trying to get to that moment. And it seemed pretty much like it was over.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And whatever feeling I had about God at that moment, let me tell you, we had a talking to. Like, I couldn't be more pissed at anything than I was at that moment to whatever, if there is or if there isn't a deity, you know, which is probably a common feeling people have.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
When it all comes crashing down around you, you sort of – you do become a believer for a moment, you know, like, please, please, please, please, please, please, please don't let the plane crash. Please. I'll go to church. You know, you know, you're, it's amazing how many people, when the plane's going down, you see praying around you, you know?
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Um, but, uh, that was a real test of faith, um, that I didn't really pass. I was, you know, I was like, this can't be happening. Um, But of course, it is happening and it was happening. But I'll tell you, it's probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Really? I learned so much from it. And I had the good version of it where my face did come back. So I lost everything.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
I went through that experience. which made me grateful. It made me, you know, it made me compassionate. It made me aware of loss. It made me aware of, you know, how fragile life is. It just gave me so many lessons. And at the end of the day, it didn't really cost me much except for the hearing in my left ear, which was the deal I made.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Hey, dude, if you're really there, please don't leave my son fatherless. Just take my left ear. Cool? Yeah. You got to be careful what deals you make. Yeah.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Thanks, Sam. It was a great interview. It was really, really a great interview. I appreciate it.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Yeah, it's, you know, even in the dramatic roles, I feel like I've always kind of had one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave, you know? It's like, I just, I see that as like the aesthetic that I want to, you know, that is my North Star, if I could find a way of doing it. But to just do... All-out comedy that's so physical.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And that pratfall is such an interesting thing because, you know, in comedy, what I find is that you have to be very open to play. And it's not an inner thing. It's this open thing and it happens in this kind of special space that's outside yourself. And so you have to be very open and aware and ready to grab whatever's being given to you and then play with it.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And that pratfall, I think it's the one you're talking about when I come up the stairs.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
That was an accident. Oh, it was? Yes. But that's the thing. If you're in the flow of comedy, the accidents are the gold. Those are the gifts from God. There's another moment in the movie where Duncan farts when Max McCandless comes in to confront him, right? And that was like the acting gods just filled my belly with gas. And I was like, here we go. And poor Rami looked at me.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
He was so outraged and humiliated. And it was just the perfect... It was like, oh, we're into the scene. And it was literally that one take was the take that Yorgos used. But I guess why I'm telling you that is like... Great comedy is something that happens spontaneously and is playful. The same thing happens with drama. But people are so much more well-behaved around drama.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
So those moments, I can't lift my butt up and let one rip in Spotlight or Foxcatcher. Maybe Foxcatcher, but nowhere else.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Yeah, I mean, it's such an interesting character in that way because he wants to project himself as the freewheeling, free-loving, libertine centralist. But really, at his core, he's incredibly conventional. He's very conventional in his idea of a man's place in the world and a woman's place in the world.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
And we see somebody whose whole projection of his personality comes undone when those concepts are really put to test by love.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Whatever she strikes in him that he supposes is love. Whatever version of love he can get closest to. And we see that he's actually incredibly fragile. And he's actually incredibly needy. And he's actually incredibly vulnerable sometimes.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
The only time you want to do that kind of scene is if it's for comedy. It's just so horrible and awkward. And it's so horrible and awkward for everybody else. And then you add in the intimacy coordinator who's like literally giving you the thumbs up from behind the camera, you know, or giving you notes on your technique. So... We knew that was going to be a montage.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
At one point we were talking about trying to do every position in the Kama Sutra. Yeah. but there's like 110 now. I think they, you know, when you see that, yeah, when you see the helicopter or the, um, you know, the, the, the rowboat, you know, you're like, okay, they didn't come up with that in a Kama Sutra time, you know?
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Um, but it's, yeah, to do that and to have in mind the comedy, there's a lot, you could do a lot of comedy with sex scenes, you know what I mean? They're already like kind of comic just by themselves. Um,
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
Honestly, not in my wildest dreams did I ever see myself coming from, you know, You Can Count on Me or even a romantic comedy, 13 Going on 30 or In the Cut to doing a superhero movie. But, you know, you mentioned Robert, Robert. Robert revolutionized the sort of tentpole studio film and really the industry by his performance in Iron Man. And they took a big swing with him and it really paid off.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
But what Robert did was he created a space for really complex indie actors to come into these big spectacle films and and ground them in really wonderful character work.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
It's the man-canceling suit. It makes you look big everywhere you want to look small and small everywhere you want to look big. It's the most humiliating thing in the world. I had a little loincloth made for it at one point as the years went on because it's just so not modest. And so it's the most vulnerable thing in the world. As an actor, you learn to love a costume.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
You learn to hide behind props. You learn to... sink into a set and and lose yourself in the world but when you're in green screen and you know it's just you and you're naked and it's all your imagination you have to put things there that aren't there you have to play off people that aren't there You have to use props that aren't there. This is in the beginning. It's changed quite a bit now.
Fresh Air
Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
But you know what I found? All the theater training that I had, you walk onto a stage and you're in a black box, basically. You have to really develop your imagination to make that place a forest or a castle or, you know, a desolate landscape and, you know, Samuel Beckett's mind of nowhere and no place. and make that real and something that you can live off of.
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Mark Ruffalo Hates The Hulk Suit
So in a lot of ways, this ancient technology that I'd been so versed in actually was the best preparation for this new modern thing that was happening.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Now, I got a call from my agent because I've got good news and bad news. The good news is they want you on The Simpsons, which I adored at the time and was dying to get on. The bad news is... You're playing yourself. No, because that's the rub. You know, I've done things like, you know, they asked me to be on Big Bang Theory. And I thought, oh, good.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I could play like, I don't know, Leonard's father or, you know, somebody integrated into the series that you hadn't seen. And they said, no, they want you to play yourself, which is hard because you have to then think, well, wait a minute, who am I? I mean, when you're playing a character, you don't have to take responsibility for anything that you say or do.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Here, you'd have to say, would I really say that? Anyway, it's not as much fun. But at least on Simpsons, I said, guys, you got to let me do something else besides myself. And so they let me play. I think his name was Lavelle. You lot are the lousiest bunch of recruits I've ever seen. I was playing a southern police officer guy that was training these guys. You know, I loved it.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yes. The cattle call I eventually went to were actors from the ages of, like, 16 through 35, because they were looking at both Luke and Han Solo. There was no script. You just met with Brian De Palma, who was casting Carrie, and sitting right next to him was George, who was casting Star Wars. And there was no information. I mean... They just said, tell us a little bit about yourself, and I did.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And after a few minutes, they said, okay, thank you. I mean, it's what they call a cattle call, where there are hundreds of people there. And you don't read for them. They don't talk about Carrie. They don't talk about Star Wars. They're just getting a feel for whether you're right for something. So I didn't get called back on...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
But I did get called back on Star Wars and eventually did a videotaped screen test. Harrison played Han Solo. And we only got about eight pages. I didn't read the whole script until I was given the part. And that's something I'll never forget. Sitting down and reading that script and knowing that I had been cast. And even without John Williams' music or the special effects or anything, it read...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Like a dream. But it was hell at the audition because I'm trying to figure out. I said, Harrison, you worked with George on American Graffiti. Is this like a send-up? Is this like a parody of Flash Gordon? He said, hey, kid, let's just get it done, all right? So he was no help whatsoever. Same with George. George asked him the same questions. Is this like a Mel Brooks version, like a send-up?
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And he went, well, let's just do it and we'll talk about it later. Translation is let's just do it and we'll never talk about it later. George doesn't want to talk about backstory or motivation or all that. I mean, he's a real movie maker in the sense that he only really comes alive in the editing room. He just wants to get on film, whatever it is you're working on that particular day.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
He doesn't want to hear about backstory and all that stuff, that actor-y stuff. Right.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Because first of all, I mean – It wasn't that dry, serious, antiseptic science fiction. This was just, you know, it reminded me of Wizard of Oz with the gender switch. Instead of Dorothy getting away from Kansas and meeting all these fantastic creatures, it's Luke trying to get away from the farm and having his worlds altered forever. So that's what I saw. I saw it more the...
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And it was funny as hell. I mean, these robots are arguing over whose fault it is. I could tell I was the straight man to the robots. But to tell you the truth, too, between that screen test, months went by. I mean, I just assumed I didn't get it. And then when my agent said, oh, you got it, and they're sending the script over, I'd forgotten what character I played.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Some math, math that's called statistics or probability, it could tell you stuff about your future. It could tell you, for example, you're more likely to be drafted by a major league sports team than to make a real living as a dancer. The world loves dancers, it truly does. But it needs accountants, so there's much more demand, so there's much more opportunity.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Because I figured in the test I did with Harrison in the cockpit, he was the leading man. I seemed to be his annoying sidekick. So when I read it, the title page said, The Adventures of Luke Starkiller as Taken from the Journal of the Wills, Saga No. 1, The Star Wars. And I thought, oh, well, I don't remember, but I guess Harrison's Luke.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And I start reading it, and very quickly I realize, oh, wait a minute. This is through the eyes of a teenager. I must be Luke. And it was very surprising to me.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And by the way, I haven't heard that since I saw the movie. See, I see the movies once or twice, but I never go back and watch them again. So what's it like hearing that? Well, I'm reminded of all of it. And for instance, in 1997 is when he put out the special editions and re-released them in the theater. So when Lucasfilm called and told me that, I said, oh, I'd love a copy.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And when my kids heard about that, they said, you're not going to go see it? I said, no, I've seen it. And I said, by the way, you've seen it more than I have on home video. I mean, they'd watch it four or five times a week. And they said, yes, but we've never seen it on the big screen. I went, oh, now that's really important to me. So I took them to each one.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I took them to the first one, to Empire and to Jedi in a theater. And that was in 1997. I haven't seen them since. No. You know, I have to deal with sort of disconnect because the fans, it's very much in the present and the future because it's an ongoing franchise.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
That when I looked at Yoda and he was manipulating him, I totally believed he was real. I mean, a lot of times they would bury him out of sight underground. You know, he had an earpiece and I had an earpiece so I could hear what he was saying. But no. I just loved everything about Yoda, the talking backwards thing and just all of it.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And it was kind of lonely because I think the most just pure out fun I had working on the original trilogy was when Harrison, Carrie and I were all on the Death Star running around. It was all three of us together. It was so much fun. And We enjoyed each other's company. And then in Empire, I go away. I mean, I don't even get to keep C-3PO.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I keep R2, but I go off to Dagobah and, you know, there would be separate call sheets, you know. On the main call sheet was Kerry and Harrison, Peter Cushing, whoever it might be. And then on my call sheet, I was the only human being. It was actor, Mark Hamill, role, Luke. And then it was puppets, lizards, snakes. It was all props.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I know that might hurt, but it's the truth. Math is truth. It won't lie to you. It doesn't factor in your preferences. It's pure that way. Math can do a lot of things. Math can be art. But it can't lie. So take another run at those two because, Chuck, you are good.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Well, I guess. I mean, I didn't let it overwhelm me. Milos Forman asked me to come in and read because he was cast in Costanza. And so various actors would come, you know, female actors would come in and read the role. And after, I don't know, four or five auditions, I said, you know, Milos, I've done this role. I did the first national tour and then I did it on Broadway.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Any chance that you consider me? And he said, no, no, no. No one is to be believing that the Luke Skywalker is the Mozart. And I thought, well, at least, you know, he's forthcoming about that. And I love the movie. And, you know, I didn't resent it. It's just that's just that's life.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Absolutely. Now, originally I went to New York and did theater because I knew I could do – I wanted to get character parts and be seen in a way that people would not expect to see me. And I did that. I lived there, I don't know, from 79 to around 92, I was doing theater. But when I came back and heard that they were casting the Joker and I looked at the talent involved.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
This wasn't going to be the Saturday morning Super Friends. This was going to be written in a way that wrote up to kids. So I said, I really want to get in on this. But it just so happens that they cast a Joker and decided to go another way. So they'd already filmed three episodes, I think three, maybe four, with the original actor. And when I went in to audition...
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
you had to match the lip flaps, you know, which is almost a different skill.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Listen, voiceover saved my life. When I got into it, I thought, where have this been all this time? I mean, first of all... A character actor is defined by the fact that you don't see the actor. You see just the character. Well, voiceover does that for everyone because you don't see the actor. And what I'm telling you is since they cast with their ears, not their eyes, you get to play...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
A huge range of characters that you wouldn't get to play because you're not physically right. You know, I could play six foot two mafia enforcers. I could play a German professor. I mean, it's just a dream come true. in terms of using their imagination. If you can match the voice to what he looks like, you're home free. And I just thought, this is spectacular. I mean, it's the ultimate...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
in terms of you don't have to memorize. You can just read all the lines. They don't care how you look. You can show up looking like hell. I said I would be good never being on camera again. In fact, this might be better because you don't have to age on camera. I'm always shocked when I see myself. I go, wow, am I old?
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And then back to a cameo in the third one.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Well, my initial reaction is that we shouldn't do it. I mean, you can never go home again. And I was sure, I said, Harrison's not going to do it. You know, he's got so much going on and, you know, he gets frustrated when those movies are brought up so often. So I said, I know he's not going to do it.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
But when I read in the press that he'd signed to do it, I thought, oh, my God, I've just been drafted. Because if I say no and Harrison and Kerry come back, I'll be the most hated man in nerddom. So I thought maybe it's fate. Maybe I should go back. So I did.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Well, I don't know whether it was a phone call or an email saying, I'm doing a movie based on a Stephen King novella, and I think there's something that would be good for you. So I immediately ordered it on Amazon. It's in a collection called If It Bleeds. There's three stories. I was expecting some sort of epic, supernatural, you know, horror epic movie. And I was just...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I'm sorry. I know. I know you are.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yeah, she came to see a Broadway show of mine, and in the playbill in my bio, I listed all my theater credits, and at the end said, he's also known for a series of popular space movies. And she goes, what's the deal? How come you don't mention Star Wars? And I said, well, I want to focus the show that I have, a resume that includes extensive theater credits. And she said, hey...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Get over yourself. You're Luke Skywalker. I'm Princess Leia. Embrace it. And I kind of saw what she meant, you know, because you say to yourself, what territory do I occupy that no one else does? So she was someone that, you know, sort of put it in perspective for me.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And like I said earlier, you know, the disconnect between the current fans and myself is that for me, I had my time and I appreciate it. And I'm always grateful for George for letting me be a part of it. But it's over. I mean, as an actor, you finish the job, you go on to the next job. You don't hang on to that. the prior job.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
So I always have to really make an adjustment when I'm talking to fans where it's very much in the present. It's very much about the future, which is fine. You know, I mean, if it weren't for the fans, I wouldn't be here. And so I'm grateful to them. They know details I have never heard of.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Somebody was asking me about, well, when you went to the Wookie's home planet, I said, wait a minute, did we, did we go to the Wookie's home planet? I Oh, well, and they'll tell me what novel it was in. And I don't read any of the supplemental material. Like I say, it was an important part of my life that's now over.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And it never will be. So I've accepted that as well, you know.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
astonished at how atypical it was for Stephen King and how Mike had never done anything quite like this. So, you know, I mean, Stephen King has done Green Mile and The Body and Shawshank Redemption. He's pretty versatile, but nonetheless, he still is. They're both very versatile, but you would just assume that, you know, the two of them together, that's what they would come up with.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
But, I mean, I was delighted. I started reading this thing, and it's told in reverse order, as you say. And I had to tell the producers. I said, you know, I don't know how well I'm going to do when I'm supposed to go out and promote this thing, because how do you describe the indescribable? My advice to people is to just go. Go unprepared.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Don't read reviews because there are elements that you recognize from Stephen King, you know, apocalyptic themes, a haunted room. But that's not the focus of the picture. It's about the impact on one person's life and, I don't know, just the nature of living.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yes, yes. I grew that thing. And when I found out I was going to do it, I just stopped trimming it. And when I sat down – now, makeup and hair are critical collaborators. Makeup, hair, and wardrobe. And I said, just take all the color out of my hair. I want to have white hair. And they whitened out the mustache.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And when I selected the rimless glasses and put them on, I looked in the mirror and went, oh, my God, I'm Geppetto. I look just like the Disney version of Geppetto and Pinocchio.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Are you kidding? Yeah. I'm the middle of seven children, career naval officer. And they thought I was nuts. They said, you can't be in show business. We don't know anybody in show business. We don't know anybody who knows anybody. It's just ridiculous. You've got to get your... So, you know, you could be a teacher, you know, you could teach drama.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
No, I wasn't encouraged at all until my senior year in high school. My father got transferred to Japan. I went to Yokohama High School and. The drama teacher recognized my passion because I had, for the first time, gone to Broadway and seen several Broadway shows. I tagged along with my father on a business trip. We were living in Virginia.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
When he went to New York, twice I went and saw Broadway shows. And see, the thing is, I knew in my soul very early on, I mean, like grade school, that I wanted to be in this business. I didn't know if I was going to be an actor, but the two examples I always remember are seeing the original black and white King Kong and just being blown away, not knowing how they made dinosaurs come to life.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I just thought... Somebody goes to work and makes these things happen. You know, I want a job where I bring a gorilla and dinosaurs to life. If I can't do it myself, I could certainly be an assistant. So I was really into that. And there was a Walt Disney program that had Clarence Nash this distinguished gentleman with white hair, step up to the microphone, and he was the voice of Donald Duck.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Now, I was probably either in kindergarten or first grade when I saw that. It never occurred to me, well, of course, there's got to be people doing the voices of Daffy Duck and Bullwinkle and all of that. And it really motivated me. I mean, I went to... When I go to record stores, I go to the children's album section and look on the back of, say, a Rocky and Bullwinkle album.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I go, oh, Paul Freese, June Foray, Dawes Butler, you know.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yes, yes, because I thought, wow. I would love to be in that business. Now, the Walt Disney program was the only one on television that showed you behind the scenes how movies were made. So it made it much more real to me. You saw the camera crew and the construction work and the wardrobe and the caterers. So, I mean, as much as I was discouraged, I thought, you know, well, I'm not a bad cook.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
If I can't be a director or an actor, I could always cater. You'll get there some way. Yeah, I'll get there some way because I don't have to be in the show, but I want to be near the show. Now, mind you, this is all kept to myself because I had four sisters and two brothers that would have ridiculed me endlessly if I had been forthcoming about my intentions. But I was always that kind of...
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
drawn that way. I put on puppet shows. I had a Jerry Mahoney ventriloquist dummy. Oh, yes. That was instructional in and of itself. I hosted a talent show in the sixth grade with my dummy, and as most people realize... You don't have to take responsibility for anything the dummy says.
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To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
So you could be highly critical of teachers and the cafeteria food or you just say outrageous things and blame it on the dummy. And it was very empowering to get laughter. I realized this is what I want to do. I like being up in front of people and I love getting laughter.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yes. I don't even remember Oakland. I was probably six, seven weeks when we moved. I went to nine different schools in 12 years. I was perpetually the new kid. There were advantages because I would say, OK, we're moving. What did I not like about myself where I am now? How can I improve? How can I change my friends or whatever?
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yeah. I mean, I envied my cousin and many of my relatives who grew up in the same house from kindergarten to graduating high school. And some of them went away to college. Some of them went to college where they still stayed at home, which was – I envied that at the time. But – I look back and I think maybe going – because since it's the Navy, you never are in Middle America.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
It's coast to coast to coast to coast because you have to be – You're water. There you go. So I would go from San Diego to Virginia to San Jose to – Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh. And, you know, you got a great overview of how different people are. I mean, I remember making the mistakes of wearing powder blue corduroy Levi's, which was very acceptable in Southern California to an East Coast school.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And they were like, Hey, look who it is. It's Surfer Joe over here. You know, I became known as Surfer Joe. You're a pariah. Yes, exactly. Or at least mockable.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yeah, to a certain extent. I mean, I know that, for instance, when we went to Japan, you rode the school bus for an hour because the high school was an hour away. And the jocks and the cool kids had the back of the bus. And the less popular and the nerds sat up front, which is where I sat.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
But one thing I noticed is I could get out of a bully's scrutiny or being put on the spot by a jock by making them laugh. So I did impressions, you know. I remember doing, you know, holy, holy donut, Batman. Relax, young chum. I would do, you know, Adam West and Burt Ward. And, you know, it was fresh in their minds, even though it wasn't on in Japan.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
And I was immediately invited to the back of the bus to be sort of the jester for the jocks and the cool kids. But, yeah. Yeah, that's a very powerful tool. And self-deprecating humor really is winning when you can make fun of yourself.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Yeah, exactly. Preemptively attacking your own weaknesses.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
Oh, I'm sure. Because once you get in front of a crowd and you get the reinforcement of laughter that they're getting the jokes, it's very empowering. I mean, I was a huge Marx Brothers fan, huge Laurel and Hardy fan, so I'd go read books about them or I'd look up reviews of...
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
When the Marx Brothers were on Broadway, I'd get microfiche and look up New York Times reviews and try to make it more real for myself. And so that was sort of my focus. And I was doing – if I didn't get a part in the school play, I would still – I'd do props or I'd work in the lighting booth or – make posters, whatever. I mean... You just wanted to be part of it. Of course.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
I mean, like I said before, I don't have to be in the show. I want to be near the show. And I was so serious about it. Towards the end, I looked at, you know, from 8 to 3 p.m. as just things that got in the way before the main reason I was there was rehearsal. Mm-hmm. You know, that's all I looked at, you know, and I kept my grades up.
Fresh Air
To Shed Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill Turned To Voiceover Work
But what I'm saying, my focus was totally on being in show business.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Some math, math that's called statistics or probability, it can tell you stuff about your future. It could tell you, for example, you're more likely to be drafted by a major league sports team than to make a real living as a dancer. The world loves dancers. It truly does. But it needs accountants, so there's much more demand, so there's much more opportunity.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
I know that might hurt, but it's the truth. Math is truth. It won't lie to you. It doesn't factor in your preferences. It's pure that way. Math can do a lot of things. Math can be art. but it can't lie. So take another run at those two, because Chuckle, you are good.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Well, I don't know whether it was a phone call or an email saying, I'm doing a movie based on a Stephen King novella, and I think there's something that would be good for you. So I immediately ordered it on Amazon. It's in a collection called If It Bleeds. There's three stories. I was expecting some sort of epic, supernatural, you know, horror epic movie. And I was just...
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
astonished at how atypical it was for Stephen King and how Mike had never done anything quite like this. So, you know, I mean, Stephen King has done Green Mile and The Body and Shawshank Redemption. He's pretty versatile, but nonetheless, he still is. They're both very versatile, but you would just assume that, you know, the two of them together, that's what they would come up with.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
But, I mean, I was delighted. I started reading this thing, and it's told in reverse order, as you say. And I had to tell the producers. I said, you know, I don't know how well I'm going to do when I'm supposed to go out and promote this thing, because how do you describe the indescribable? My advice to people is to just go. Go unprepared.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Don't read reviews because there are elements that you recognize from Stephen King, you know, apocalyptic themes, a haunted room. But that's not the focus of the picture. It's about the impact on one person's life and, I don't know, just the nature of living.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Yes, yes. I grew that thing. And when I found out I was going to do it, I just stopped trimming it. And when I sat down – now, makeup and hair are critical collaborators. Makeup, hair, and wardrobe. And I said, just take all the color out of my hair. I want to have white hair. And they whitened out the mustache.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
And when I selected the rimless glasses and put them on, I looked in the mirror and went, oh, my God, I'm Geppetto. I look just like the Disney version of Geppetto and Pinocchio.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Are you kidding? Yeah. I'm the middle of seven children, career naval officer. And they thought I was nuts. They said, you can't be in show business. We don't know anybody in show business. We don't know anybody who knows anybody. It's just ridiculous. You've got to get your degree so you could be a teacher. You could teach drama. No, I wasn't encouraged at all until –
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
My senior year in high school, my father got transferred to Japan. I went to Yokohama High School, and the drama teacher recognized my passion because I had, for the first time, gone to Broadway and seen several Broadway shows. I tagged along with my Father, on a business trip, we were living in Virginia. When he went to New York, twice I went and saw Broadway shows.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
And see, the thing is, I knew in my soul very early on. I mean, like grade school. that I wanted to be in this business. I didn't know if I was going to be an actor, but the two examples I always remember are seeing the original black and white King Kong and just being blown away, not knowing how they made dinosaurs come to life. I just thought...
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Somebody goes to work and makes these things happen. You know, I want a job where I bring a gorilla and dinosaurs to life. If I can't do it myself, I could certainly be an assistant. So I was really into that. There was a Walt Disney program that had Clarence Nash, this distinguished gentleman with white hair, step up to the microphone, and he was the voice of Donald Duck.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Now, I was probably either in kindergarten or first grade when I saw that. It never occurred to me, well, of course, there's got to be people doing the voices of Daffy Duck and Bullwinkle and all of that. And it really motivated me. I mean, I went to... When I go to record stores, I go to the children's album section and look on the back of, say, a Rocky and Bullwinkle album.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
I go, oh, Paul Freese, June Foray, Dawes Butler, you know.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Yes, yes, because I thought, wow. I would love to be in that business. Now, the Walt Disney program was the only one on television that showed you behind the scenes how movies were made. So it made it much more real to me. You saw the camera crew and the construction work and the wardrobe and the caterers. So, I mean, as much as I was discouraged, I thought, you know, well, I'm not a bad cook.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
If I can't be a director or an actor, I could always cater. You'll get there some way. Yeah, I'll get there some way because I don't have to be in the show, but I want to be near the show. Now, mind you, this is all kept to myself because I had four sisters and two brothers that would have ridiculed me endlessly if I had been forthcoming about my intentions. But I was always that kind of...
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Drawn that way. I put on puppet shows. I had a Jerry Mahoney ventriloquist dummy. Oh, yes. That was instructional in and of itself. I hosted a talent show in the sixth grade with my dummy. And as most people realize... You don't have to take responsibility for anything the dummy says.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
So you could be highly critical of teachers and the cafeteria food or you just say outrageous things and blame it on the dummy. And it was very empowering to get laughter. I realized this is what I want to do. I like being up in front of people and I love getting laughter.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Now, I got a call from my agent because I've got good news and bad news. The good news is they want you on The Simpsons, which I adored at the time and was dying to get on. The bad news is... You're playing yourself. No, because that's the rub. You know, I've done things like, you know, they asked me to be on Big Bang Theory. And I thought, oh, good.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
I could play like, I don't know, Leonard's father or, you know, somebody integrated into the series that you hadn't seen. And they said, no, they want you to play yourself, which is hard because you have to then think, well, wait a minute, who am I? I mean, when you're playing a character, you don't have to take responsibility for anything that you say or do.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Here, you'd have to say, would I really say that? Anyway, it's not as much fun. But at least on Simpsons, I said, guys, you got to let me do something else besides myself. And so they let me play. I think his name was Lavelle.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
I was playing a Southern police officer guy that was training these guys. You know, I loved it. I mean, it was so much fun.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Yes. The cattle call I eventually went to were actors from the ages of, like, 16 through 35, because they were looking at both Luke and Han Solo. There was no script. You just met with... Brian De Palma was casting Carrie, and sitting right next to him was George, who was casting Star Wars. And there was no information. I mean... They just said, tell us a little bit about yourself, and I did.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
And after a few minutes, they said, okay, thank you. I mean, it's what they call a cattle call, where there are hundreds of people there. And you don't read for them. They don't talk about Carrie. They don't talk about Star Wars. They're just getting a feel for whether you're right for something. So I didn't get called back on...
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
But I did get a call back on Star Wars and eventually did a videotaped screen test. Harrison played Han Solo. And we only got about eight pages. I didn't read the whole script until I was given the part. And that's something I'll never forget. Sitting down and reading that script and knowing that I had been cast. And even without John Williams' music or the special effects or anything, it read...
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Like a dream. But it was hell at the audition because I'm trying to figure out. I said, Harrison, you worked with George on American Graffiti. Is this like a send-up? Is this like a parody of Flash Gordon? He said, hey, kid, let's just get it done, all right? So he was no help whatsoever. Same with George. George asked him the same questions. Is this like a Mel Brooks version, like a send-up?
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
And he went, well, let's just do it and we'll talk about it later. Translation is let's just do it and we'll never talk about it later. George doesn't want to talk about backstory or motivation or all that. I mean, he's a real movie maker in the sense that he only really comes alive in the editing room. He just wants to get on film, whatever it is you're working on that particular day.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
He doesn't want to hear about backstory and all that stuff, that actor-y stuff.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
Look, Frank Oz is so good. That when I looked at Yoda and he was manipulating him, I totally believed he was real. I mean, a lot of times they would bury him out of sight underground. You know, he had an earpiece and I had an earpiece so I could hear what he was saying. But no. I just loved everything about Yoda, uh, the, the talking backwards thing and just all of it.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
And, uh, it was kind of lonely cause I think the most just pure out fun I had working on the original trilogy was when Harrison, Carrie and I were all on the Death Star running around. Uh, it was all three of us together. It was so much fun and we enjoyed each other's company. And, uh, Then in Empire, I go away. I mean I don't even get to keep C-3PO.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
I keep R2 but I go off to Dagobah and there would be separate call sheets. On the main call sheet was Kerry and Harrison, Peter Cushing, whoever it might be. And then on my call sheet, I was the only human being. It was actor Mark Hamill, role Luke, and then it was puppets, lizards, snakes. It was all props.
Fresh Air
Best Of: The Innovation Of 'I Love Lucy' / Mark Hamill
I said, Harrison, you worked with George on American Graffiti. Is this like a parody of Flash Gordon? He said, hey, kid, let's just get it done, all right? So he was no help whatsoever.
Fresh Air
'Adolescence' Co-Creator/Actor Asks Not Whodunnit, But Why
Never even been in a police station before. You'll be fine.
Fresh Air
For 'Severance' Star Adam Scott, Work & Life Can't Be Separated
Chris, honestly, I'm great. I'm just exploring whatever fun activity pops into my brain. But check this out. I'm teaching myself how to do claymation videos.
Fresh Air
For 'Severance' Star Adam Scott, Work & Life Can't Be Separated
Did you have to tell her parents that she was dead?
Fresh Air
For 'Severance' Star Adam Scott, Work & Life Can't Be Separated
Let me ask you this, Bob. Why wait two years? Well, I've got to make more money. Okay, well, look, I hear you. Believe me. But what if I were to tell you that I could sell this house for 30% above market right now? That'd be great. Yeah. Could you do it? In a heartbeat, Robbie. You know what? I'd even do it for four-fifths commission. Oh, that'd be fantastic. Yeah. That'd be fantastic. Yeah.
Fresh Air
For 'Severance' Star Adam Scott, Work & Life Can't Be Separated
No, it would be kick-ass, bro. Oh, man. Right there. Oh.
Fresh Air
For 'Severance' Star Adam Scott, Work & Life Can't Be Separated
I dabbled. Are you a... A professional waiter?
Fresh Air
For 'Severance' Star Adam Scott, Work & Life Can't Be Separated
Well, you remember me from anything else?
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
So it was first lockdown, I'd say June or July, and I get a phone call from this unknown number. And it's this woman, this sort of Spanish, Latin-sounding woman, saying, my husband's asked me to call you.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
I was like, yeah. And then alarm bells started going off. Because I remember being at school at this time. And there being all these rumours. And we all kind of knew that something was going on. But we didn't know for sure.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
You either did well in your exams at Christ's College or they weren't interested. They just wrote you off? They wrote you off completely. I mean, they wrote me off completely and they wrote him off completely.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
And he was saying, look, if I got you to a police station, would you talk? I said, look, if I remembered anything... that wasn't an embellished memory, then absolutely. But I can't guarantee my memories for you. But I do know what happened to you was wrong.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
You know, everyone knew it. But, you know, the culture at that time was not a problem. It's not really a big, it's not a big deal. Were you all like, you'd all have fantasies about her? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Still do. No. But, look, I was talking to one of our friends, who will remain nameless. He was saying, what good is it? It happened so long ago and she was quite fit.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
Yeah. But anyway, I think the bottom line is, there are two camps. There's the, yes, it was really wrong that it happened. And there's the, uh, hello? He got to basically shtup this gorgeous woman.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
I think what you'll find if you do interview people, ex-Christ College boys, ex-teachers, they'll be like, oh, 40 years ago, let it go, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, there are teachers out there who are probably in their late 60s, mid-70s, who you would be able to talk to. Whether or not they would want to, you know, I don't know, but I...
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
Hello, how are you? My name is Monty and I like golf.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
Me, Ricky, Tom, Zach, that lot. You know, we'd be out on the streets. You've met him. You've met him.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
He used to wear this quite sort of Tony Soprano leather jacket up to the elbows. Pull the sleeves up to the elbows. Hair greased, you know, greased down.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
No, I mean, it wasn't, you know, like we were, you know, it was the mid-80s, late 80s. Spotty teenagers. Spots, greasy hair, you know, dodgy school shoes, you know, we just... You had a crimped fringe. I had a crimped fringe, yeah, but I was quite cool. You were quite cool. Do you know what I mean? Like, Arnott were sort of quite cool, but then... At least we thought we were.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
We have on the telephone now Mrs Thatcher. Hello, good morning.
Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates
Gareth | Lucky Boy Ep1
And you don't believe me either, do you? But best mate, see how much heroin you can find among that lot.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
So tomorrow is actually going to be eight months. Wow, dude.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Yeah, it really did. Sobriety date was September 1st is September 1st. Yeah. So yeah, tomorrow's tomorrow's the eight month mark.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Yeah, I started listening to Mind Pump in 2017, I believe. And it was pretty consistent. I actually started with the very first episode that was available on Spotify and eventually caught up to you guys. I wasn't listening as much at the time, but I was at work and I just needed something to throw on. And I picked a random episode and it was when you had Ben and Tom on.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Oh, so that was consistently almost daily early on. I felt better and better every day. I mean, it was bad physically. I mean, I couldn't even really eat early on. It was bad because it hurt. I was poisoning myself every single day. It got to the point where my body was rejecting stuff that it needed. So early on, that was the big stuff, being able to eat normal again.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
just the difference of uh being hydrated again was a huge difference um and then uh the like mentally uh emotionally spiritually that kind of stuff that that happened over a course of months I mean honestly I don't I don't think that's done yet I feel like I'm still hitting milestones uh just as far as how I feel in all those other aspects physically I'm doing great right now but um
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
But, yeah, I'm regularly noticing that there's differences. It's good.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
I – had a moment of clarity. I really looked at my situation and the direction I was going. And it occurred to me that, um, that was, that was going to be it there. I was either going to end up quitting on my own. I was going to end up in prison or I was going to end up in the ground. And that, those were the, those were the only finish lines I could see. And, um, it, it, It was scary.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
That was a really, really scary realization to have. And even then, that wasn't enough. I mean, I listened to the episode where you had Ben and Tom on probably four or five times. I emailed Rock Recovery and heard back from them. I was offered the slot here. And even then, it took my family, it took four or five really close friends of mine to...
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Give me the push I needed to commit to it even after that realization because it's a big step. It's a scary thing. It requires humility to get to the point where you can openly admit that you need help and that you can't handle your situation anymore.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Honestly, the biggest thing was, for me, I felt like I had dug the hole too deep. Something that I've heard a lot since I've been here is if you find that you've dug yourself into a hole, the first thing you need to do is stop digging. And I felt like I kind of had stopped digging to some degree, but I really felt like it was just... too deep and that I wasn't going to get out of it.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
And honestly, I probably wouldn't have on my own, but I wasn't sure if I could get there even with the help. It was... And then on top of that, the humility of having to say, I need help with this. I cannot do this on my own. There's a lot of pride involved. There's ego involved. It requires a lot. It's a big step just to get to that point where you can accept the help.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Oh, absolutely. So they mentioned when they were on the podcast that they do take the health and fitness side of things here pretty seriously. And I was looking forward to that because it is something that I've been involved with to a pretty deep degree at different times in my life. I did not realize how much that would play a role in how I felt while I was here. It is... It's therapeutic.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
There's no other word for it. I physically felt better. I felt stronger. Hitting milestones on my squat that I haven't hit in a couple of years, that was motivating. It felt good. It affected how I felt about myself. I really underestimated how much that would play a role in how I felt. Yeah.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Oh, yeah, absolutely. So there were like group workouts that you're able to do a couple of times. I think three times a week we were able to do if you wanted to. And then you have access to the gym. You have a free membership. I had a free membership while I was here. So it's a lot of it is on you to take advantage of it, though. Like I've you. It's not handed to you.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
You are given all the tools that you need and it's up to you to make the most of it. And honestly, the only really... the only real regret that I have from being here is I know I could have done better with some of that and taken advantage of some more, some more resources that were given to me. But I mean, that's, you know, hindsight, but.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you. It has been a lot of single steps, and there have been a couple of times where I've kind of turned around and looked at where I started and where I'm at, and I can't believe how it added up. Things are going really well. I've got myself under control. My life is headed in a good direction.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
I landed a job doing something that I never probably would have gotten into if I didn't come down here. And I love what I do. I'm wrapping cars now.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Yeah, I do as well. And I wanted to put it out there too. If anybody's considering coming down here and they do have questions that they want to talk about it, I'm reachable. I can put my email out there if they want, if you guys want. It's mark, M-A-R-K dot Mahan, M-A-H-O-N 89 at Gmail. If anybody has questions, anybody wants to talk about any of this, I'm more than happy to do so.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
I was very skeptical coming into it, but I'm a huge supporter and proponent of doing this. It's easily the best decision I've made. Great job, man.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Yeah, absolutely. I thank you. All right. We'll be in touch. Sounds good. Take care guys.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Yeah.
Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2593: Six Weird Lifts That Make You Strong AF & More (Listener Coaching)
Ooh.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Thank you for calling PMS Services. May I have the account number you are calling about?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
I'm good, and you?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Thank you for the account number. Thank you for calling LAFD. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to today?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
My name is Mark. Give me your ID. Hi, Mark. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. May I call you by your first name?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Okay. Thank you, Nicole. Nicole, may I have a good phone number in case we get disconnected?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Got a landline or cell phone?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
And mailing address?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
All right. And thank you for that. Thank you for verifying that. And how can I help you today? I received a bill for $2,000 for my ambulance service. Okay. Provided on 8-15-23. Do you know if that's been submitted to insurance?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
okay let me take a look here okay the claim was filed to your insurance on october 19th of this year we have to allow about eight weeks for processing so that should come back right before christmas by december 19th okay so i don't know anything right now right now as far as only no because we're processing with your insurance And we'll know more around December 19th or after.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
That, I don't know. Your insurance can give you more insight into that. Normally, I can tell you they pay 80%, but that's going to be about the best that we can do on our end.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Okay. On that, that's a little more bark than bite. They do that to make you do just what you did today, give us a call. That's the first of three, so you're going to get two more. Okay? May I make a suggestion for you, Nicole? Please do. Okay. Enjoy your Thanksgiving. and check back with us before Christmas and we'll let you know what's going on with the account.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Well, just to get you to call in, you know, they do that with billing. You know, could the account go to collections? Yeah, but You know, we just got, just got the insurance. That's your first invoice. So no, you're not, you're not going to collection that fast. No.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
No, you're not going to keep getting scared. It takes eight weeks. So we won't know anything until right before Christmas.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
You can call them. They can let you know where they are in processing.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
I mean, if you felt like you needed to dispute, yes.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Okay. You'd have to put that in writing and fax that in.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
If you don't, if you don't, okay, well, they prefer us to tell facts first. Um, I can give you an email where you can send it.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Okay, yes, ma'am. Let me know when you're ready.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Okay, just say when you explain it to me, explain it in the in the body.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
Okay, anything else I could do today?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How Nicole Negotiated Medical Debt: Listen and Learn!
No, we still haven't submitted to the insurance. I mean, it's already been submitted to the insurance on the 19th.
No Dunks
Why The Knicks Fired Tom Thibodeau, New Magic Jerseys, Giannis-Raptors Trade Rumors
Er wurde von dem verurteilt. Er wurde von dem verurteilt.
No Dunks
Why The Knicks Fired Tom Thibodeau, New Magic Jerseys, Giannis-Raptors Trade Rumors
Oh, ja, wir sahen eine Frau, die sich in einem vollen, gelben Outfit trägt. Mit einem Hat. Mit einem Hat. Und wir haben definitiv einige Smoking-Referenzen gemacht.
No Dunks
The Sixers Are A Mess, Dyson Daniels' Nicknames & What's Wrong With Haliburton?
Ich bin völlig blind. Manchmal habe ich das Gefühl, meine Tage und Nächte sind auf den Kopf gestellt, weil ich Schwierigkeiten habe, nachts zu schlafen und tagsüber wach zu bleiben. Ich leide unter 924, einer seltenen Schlaf-Wach-Rhythmusstörung, die viele völlig blinde Menschen betrifft. Möchtest du mehr über diese Erkrankung in Verbindung mit völliger Erblindung erfahren?
No Dunks
The Sixers Are A Mess, Dyson Daniels' Nicknames & What's Wrong With Haliburton?
Rufe kostenfrei an unter 0800 24 24 008.
No Dunks
The Sixers Are A Mess, Dyson Daniels' Nicknames & What's Wrong With Haliburton?
Ich bin völlig blind. Manchmal habe ich das Gefühl, meine Tage und Nächte sind auf den Kopf gestellt, weil ich Schwierigkeiten habe, nachts zu schlafen und tagsüber wach zu bleiben. Ich leide unter 924, einer seltenen Schlaf-Wach-Rhythmusstörung, die viele völlig blinde Menschen betrifft. Möchtest du mehr über diese Erkrankung in Verbindung mit völliger Erblindung erfahren?
No Dunks
The Sixers Are A Mess, Dyson Daniels' Nicknames & What's Wrong With Haliburton?
Rufe kostenfrei an unter 0800 24 24 008.
No Dunks
2025 NBA Finals Preview | Thunder-Pacers Key Matchups, X-Factors, Predictions
This is Mark Swift. Welcome to Day 6. Black Fern 900. I've been up 145 hours and I just learned that my humanoid cactus friend Obsidian is in fact not real. I lost my toenails and my nipples and my butthole. Got my coach on standby who is also hallucinating. I got a little bit of pee-pee left, one cashew and really big eyes. Oh! Big cat! Ah! Ah!
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Sure, but you have millions of people across the country counting on you. Okay, tell me about Lou.
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Oh, ich habe viele Schmerzen, die ich dir heute geben soll. Um Vani J, wenn du tausende Stunden von diesen beiden Yahoo's hören willst, kannst du das auf patreon.com slash nobody's listening right.
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Yes, a playdate brought two croissants over and holy shit, they are so good.
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Sie hat gesagt, sie hat mir darüber gesprochen, als ob ich es wissen sollte. Okay. Sie sagt, oh, du weißt, du musst ein paar Tage vorher bestellen. Und ich war so, was? Und dann ist es in Burbank oder irgendwo in Studio City und du bestellst vor dem Zeitpunkt. Und ich hatte nur einen Biss davon und ich war so, ich bin verbunden. Und dann hatte ich es nicht seitdem. Das war viele, viele Monate her.
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You got an almond croissant, chocolate, these little almond financiers. That sounds right. Some tarts. Oh, it was so good.
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So all of those people had put orders in two days ahead of time?
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Thank God. Now, that was a risky move. And I know that you don't hesitate to ask those types of questions. But sometimes those questions can be met with, yeah. That's very true. Get in fucking line. You're not entitled to some other special line. Well... Das ist interessant. Ist das ein schönes Gebäude? Wie fühlt es sich an?
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Gehst du da drinnen oder ist es wie ein Fenster im Store?
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Oh, you're asking all sorts of questions all over the place.
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Yeah. Okay. I'm dragon ass today. So I thought maybe dragon ass. You don't hear a lot of dragon ass these days. Is that giving you the ick?
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Wow. And when you say he looks so famous, he just has a quality about him, a confidence?
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Okay, there's another thing I want to bring back, full throttle.
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So this is interesting, because there was this place in Pasadena that was a French place that had really good French pastries.
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I feel like the owner wanted to be like Lou. Und ich glaube nicht, dass er diesen magischen Es-Faktor hatte. Ja. Den du in der Pastry-Game brauchst.
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Weißt du, was ich meine? Glaubst du, du wirst jemals einen Hügel bekommen?
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I mean, it's so French also. Like you have to know when they're open and you have to be cool if it's not open. And you can't expect, like, you're lucky to be there.
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We don't have wares. Like what are we going to do? You and I, I think you could fake it and you could really find your niche. If you had like a donut spot and, you know, put a little, invested a little more in your clothes.
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I really want to bring back, go make some fudge.
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169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Literally yesterday I was just in a good mood. It wasn't even like, I mean, there was nothing spectacular or standout.
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But I want to really try to channel a little bit more of Lou.
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It's very authentic. Can I read that thing that I took a picture of? Oh, it's a screenshot of my phone, so I don't know if I can access it. Oh, I can. This astrologer, I guess this is on threads, I don't know how I got here, don't ask, but her name is Katrin Kells. Mm-hmm. Ja, ja, ja. Ja. You talk fast, love hard and charm like it's second nature.
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You want independence and partnership, truth and diplomacy. You're curious about everything and everyone. You're here to keep things interesting and call people in without missing a beat. Now, the only word I would change in this is out. You call people out without missing a beat.
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Aber das summarisiert dich wirklich. Interessant.
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169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Es gibt viel zu erfahren. We wanted to give a huge thanks to this week's sponsor, Brooklyn Bedding.
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Look, we all know how quickly our kids are growing out of their clothes, but not many people talking about when your kids grow out of their mattresses. The place they spend so much time. You know the ones that you bought with their twin bed thinking they could basically sleep on a hay pallet.
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Well, that time arrived for us recently when our 11-year-old was having not great night's sleeps, which of course leads to cranky days and less focus at school and when they're toiling away on the farm. Well, enter Brooklyn Bedding. We ordered her a plush, beautiful new mattress, which was a huge upgrade from the flimsy memory foam jobber we had in her twin bed for years.
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And the quality was shocking, especially because it did not break the bank. I kind of felt guilty when the mattress arrived. Did you see her, how she lit up? And she was like, is this for me?
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My guilt that we'd not taken her mattress needs seriously was assuaged, knowing that now not only would she be sleeping much better, which she has been, she loves her mattress, but Brooklyn Bedding is free of fiberglass, which, as we all know, is harmful for your health. Und wie bei anderen Mattress-Branden, versichern sie, dass ihr gesamtes Facilität frei von Fiberglas ist.
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Also, wenn ihr wie wir und eure Kinder verbessern müsst, um ihre Schlafhygiene ernst zu machen, wisst ihr, dass ihr auf der Brooklyn Bedding Mattress für bis zu 120 Nachts schlafen könnt. Und wenn ihr es nicht so liebt, wie wir es tun, wisst ihr was? They will help you return it or pick out a different one.
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So go to brooklynbetting.com and use our promo code NLR at checkout to get 30% off site-wide. This offer is not available anywhere else. You have to use our code specifically on the very last page of checkout to get this discount. That's brooklynbetting.com and use our code NLR for 30% off site-wide. brooklynbetting.com, promo code NLR.
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You just gotta get through it. It's more of the same shit.
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Ja, ich bin, und ich mag es, und ich studiere es jetzt. Ich fühle mich, als ob ich mehr lerne, also ist es für mich ein bisschen spannend, als ob ich Dinge auf einem tieferen Niveau verstehe.
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I did realize today, this morning, that like given kind of our creative endeavors and stuff and life and finances and everything, I do need to keep writing. I do need to keep pursuing with gusto my writing career. And I am writing something right now, which I'm very excited.
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Yeah. But I need to get back into the routine of that. And I have an idea. I want to develop like... Not only, I'm not saying it like I have to, that's a half joke.
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Well, astrology and like other stuff. Here's the thing is, you know, it's been kind of a mental shift and I needed a break from the development and the writing stuff because it had kind of...
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broken you broken me is the word um but i needed to be broken yeah i really do i feel like i'm in a better place because of it in many ways yeah and now i feel like i can follow like the next exciting thing creatively and also yes i'm an adult and have responsibility so it needs to be creative and something that could be financially uh Ja. Ja.
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No, it's just the first thing I see when I go to pick an emoji. You know, it sets aside the ones that you use the most often. If I'm just looking for a laughing thing, there it is. And I must have used it somewhere along the way. And I guess it's now become my go-to.
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Aber die Astrologie ist während dieser Zeit für mich ein großer Ausgang. Und mehr als nur... Ich bin so weit über die... Oh, mein tägliches Horoskop. Ich lese eigentlich keinen täglichen Horoskop überhaupt. Weil ich so über das... Nein. I think it's great, but I'm really fascinated by the kind of deeper meaning behind all of it. So I know it seems crazy.
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It's almost less about, I mean, there definitely is a part of it is like, what's coming down the pipeline for me? And it's more about learning about this thing.
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Well, the thing that I'm learning is it's so open, just like anything, it's so open to interpretation. And each of us, when we're born, our charts are basically... Ja. Mhm. Ja. Ja. Ja.
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Ich bin auf ein paar Reddit-Threads und zum Beispiel der Tag, an dem der Pope gestorben ist, werden Leute Analysen von seinem Chart machen, der Tag, an dem er gestorben ist und wo die anderen Planeten sind, wie die transizierenden Planeten. Das ist wirklich interessant für mich, fast wie im Hinterkopf für spezielle Menschen. Das ist wirklich interessant.
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Croissant. Croissant, okay. Croissant is fucking insane. Wir brauchen alle fünf von ihnen.
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Anyway, I find it all fascinating. I am well aware it is a huge waste of time, but it is an escape for me. And I think during this time when I've needed kind of a mental break, and I'm not that into like TV right now, or I don't know. I used to normally be like, I'm watching movies or Golden Girls reruns or something. I'd rather like kind of learn about this stuff.
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And I find it, I still take it all with a grain of salt, I mean.
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But I do need to get back to routine and structure.
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Can we talk about Well, actually, you know what I wanted to say? One quick last thing about Mahjong. Yeah. So, in my Mahjong group, we've been playing probably about eight, nine months, I would say.
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No. Sometimes it's nice to change it up. Now, I can't search your phone right now because... By the way, you use prayer hands all wrong.
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And I mentioned that I was hoping to get a set for Mother's Day. Yeah. And people were like, you don't have a set?
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Aber etwas, was ich über die lehnen finanziellen Zeiten geredet haben wollte, und ich weiß, dass wir so glücklich und glücklich sind, und diese lehnen Zeiten sind noch immer sehr okay für uns und relativ komfortabel, aber einfach zurückzutreten auf diese Art von Dingen, die ich normalerweise nur bei mir selbst ohne zweite Gedanken hätte. Oh, ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja.
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And so this Mahjong set that you bought me, which is so beautiful. It has gold koi fish etched into this like sapphire blue tiles. And it's just stunning. You know, Christmas, of course, you get excited. But now Christmas for me is mostly getting excited about the kids being excited.
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Which is such a delight. Like that's my favorite thing in the world is seeing like the morning of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was a gift that I thought I was going to get a set, but I thought it was just going to be a regular standard set, which I would have been happy with. I felt like a joy about this gift that I haven't felt like I can't remember the last time I felt that way.
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That's amazing. And it was like, I finally have it. It's so gorgeous. I know the hours and hours of joy I'm going to get out of it. And it was like a childlike feeling of, I have this. Now, those things are always fleeting and you always think certain things are going to make your life better. But I hadn't experienced that in so long. I had almost forgotten what it felt like.
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Sometimes you use it in a way that just doesn't make sense. And it is like, God bless you, kind of thank you. It has a spiritual element to it.
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I don't know. Do we know that they're locked from the inside?
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Let's truly. Let's be authentic in our reporting.
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Yes, that is such a different situation. Can I talk about something? Was it on Mother's Day or the day after Mother's Day? So the home I consider myself to have grown up in in St.
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Which I have tried multiple times to go visit and multiple times was told no.
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Okay, so the house I lived in from when I was 10 to 18 in St. Louis. And my parents moved when I was 18 to California. And the house they lived in there, I also feel a connection to, but for very different reasons. But this is where I grew up and have family memories and best friendships and all of that stuff.
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Und ich würde sagen, in den letzten 20, wahrscheinlich 15 bis 20 Jahren, zwei oder drei Mal in den Jahren, als ich zurück nach St. Louis ging, fühle ich mich, als ich das erste Mal da war und die Person, die dort lebte, kleine Kinder hatte und meinte, oh, meine Kinder schlafen.
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Dann ging ich wieder zurück und ich fühle mich, es war wie, bist du nicht vorher gekommen?
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And also, the person's body language was blocking me from, you know... Well, it is...
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kind of weird especially in this day and age maybe 30 40 years ago but yeah it seemed if someone came to our house now and said that i'd be like i need to see some receipts i need to see a picture i would have a conversation but it's also like it's me now i don't mean to like profile someone but i agree i would i would want i would be like oh that's so interesting you know i'm not sure if now's a good time like um
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Can I ask you a few questions? I'm just a little reticent to have kind of a stranger come in, blah, blah, blah. So I totally get it. And I understand people are private. We're actually very private. I don't like just random people coming to our door, obviously. So I understand in some ways, but also just as a person who... I also love that stuff. I mean, like being able... I don't know.
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I think it would be really neat if the kind of original owner's granddaughter came here and was like, I spent my childhood in this home, could I come inside and see it? So I never got to see it, which was fine, but because she was so like, get the fuck out.
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Ich dachte mir, was ist in diesem Haus los? Wie ist es? Ist es wirklich anders? Und ich habe mir gedacht, wie es aufgebaut wurde. Es war ein altes Haus. Es ist wunderschön, so schmerzhaft. Aber nicht so, wie Häuser heute aufgebaut werden. Es hat diese kleine Küche in einer Kante des Hauses. Es ist einfach, ich weiß nicht, es ist eine andere Situation. Well, it's on the market.
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I'm not like, I mean, I am easily swayed usually, but it's not like an emoji land. I will say... Oh, what will you say? I want to start using GIFs more often.
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And so after, you know, 26 years, I got to see the inside of the house online and it's so the same. I mean, it was shocking and my childhood best friend sent it to me. Und ich öffne es und ich bin so, erstens, ich weiß nicht, warum, das ist in beiden ihrer Häuser, aber meine Moms Wallpaper sind noch da. Ja.
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Die Küche ist genau das gleiche, wie der Fridge hatte diesen kleinen Tray, den du runterfliegst und du kannst Jusse drauflegen, um deine Jusse zu rühren. Ich meine... Es ist verrückt, das Fridge ist immer noch am Rocken. Und es war wirklich, nicht überraschend, ich hatte eine sehr emotionale Reaktion darauf, es zu sehen. Du hast gesagt, sollen wir nach St. Louis gehen?
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Und die Antwort ist nein. Es ist nicht für uns, das ist für einen anderen Teil meines Lebens, aber es ist sehr cool zu sehen, And I don't have any takeaways here. I'm just like, wanted to share this.
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I wonder like, you know, obviously it's the emotion of my parents being there and like growing up, I don't know, like good memories.
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But I'm also curious about how nostalgic am I without my dead parents? Oh, okay.
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Like, and there's this little den that has like very specific wallpaper that I'm like, that's crazy. Yeah, I think you're right. And it does seem like it's frozen in time.
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I should, so I can like study them. But it is, yeah, but it also brought up something interesting, which is, like, memories being attached to a place or a smell. I mean, there's this specific smell of, like, soap that reminds me so strongly of my grandmother Bubba's house, you know. But I lived in that house for 18 years. I, like... Es ist so verrückt, dass ich das glaube. Ja, genau.
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We might have to stop this podcast. No, I am excited to do the podcast. The reason I said I am excited is usually this podcast gives me energy and kind of puts a pep in my step. I don't know what's going on, but I cannot. I've had so much coffee. I cannot like get my shit going today.
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Yeah, I'm like, I vaguely, I remember being with my dog and playing with my dog a lot. I remember like... Christmases, you know, I have kind of these paintings frozen in time of like that, what we were up to.
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You know, what are we getting right? What are we getting wrong? That's why, exactly. And I think, you know, my sister and I always joke about how our memories can be so different. And we have no kind of judge to call it because the other people who are there are gone usually. So you just have to trust whatever your memory is. But there are definitely times I'm like, was that right?
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Yeah, you know, you question that. But I do think Ja, genau. Yeah, I get that. Oh, I don't know. Yeah. Ja. Ja. But happiness, I think, is like a different feeling and it's like, celebrate it when it comes along.
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For me, for example, Mother's Day, I felt this like real sense of happiness, but it was because it was this extraordinary day where I was being catered to and, you know, all of my like... But that doesn't always mean that you can sit into that moment.
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Das ist, weil ich denke, dass du sowohl etwas aus dem Vergangenen als auch aus dem Zukunftsleben verwendest. Es ist sehr selten, dass unsere aktuellen, literally physischen Momente, ich spreche darüber mit unseren Kindern, wenn sie Probleme mit Angst haben oder so etwas wie das. Well, get a book, you know, cozy up and think to yourself, I'm cozy right now with my blanket and my lovey or whatever.
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Both. On my walk. You know, the walk's like a bright part of my day. It's such a great way to start the day. And I love it. And it's one of the things that if I don't do, I genuinely miss it. It doesn't feel like a chore to me at all. It's like a treat.
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And I get to read this book and go to this imaginary place that I love or whatever it is. That's your present reality. And like anything outside of that doesn't really truly matter. It's harder as adults and we have responsibilities and stuff. You can't just live your life alone. Du musst in gewissen Fällen durch das Leben weitergehen. Natürlich. Aber, ich weiß nicht.
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Ja, ja, ja. Ja. Ja, genau. What are we all doing?
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His daddy did it. His daddy. No, I think that we are kind of, I mean, similar in the way though that you look at, if you really bring awe into the picture, which to me awe is so connected to what we're talking about being present. But like, look at a cucumber or pineapple or whatever. Okay. Okay. You need to.
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And this morning here, I like, I didn't make it through my walk.
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Whatever neural network has connected pineapple to the lifestyle, you need to chop that neuron apart. Pineapples are a wonderful fruit.
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So, and you look at it with awe, like this plant... Ja. Ja. Ja. But we also learned, and I mean, I'm such an idiot, of course this is true, our universe isn't going to last forever. In fact, it might last a lot less long than we thought.
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Yeah. Like, humanity, that's... If you have the thought of, of course, there are other life forms similar-ish enough to us out there with brains and... Oder vielleicht sind wir so primitive Modelle von dem, was das ist, dass es andere Orte gibt, wo die menschliche Technik so weit über das ist, was wir uns vorstellen können. Aber wenn dieses Universum vorbei geht, ist das es?
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You hit the eject button early? I eject early. And I just wanted to get back to do what? I don't know.
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An hour. It's an hour. Usually, yeah, 45 to an hour.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Probably, I aired on the side of like a 40-minute. Okay. 40-minuter. But I wanted to eject and I was like, I'm not going to eject.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Well, an eyeglasses man might be like an eyeglasses store. I went to the eye doctor.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
But I wanted to ask you... And then today you have this dark aura around you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Just the vibes. I said that. I said the vibes in this house. It was the kids coming back and just one kid in particular was having big feelings and it was frustrating.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Because, okay. You yesterday were having a rougher day.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
And emotionally and physically, I would say you felt kind of low. And I'm wondering if I fucking got that from you today. Yeah. But you really wanted to play Mahjong.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Neither here nor there, but it finally manifested on Mother's Day. And you got them, they were incredible, got this beautiful Mahjong set. I taught everyone Mahjong, we played it multiple times. I do want to circle back to that, because I have a fear related to Mahjong, but you've got the bug.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Ja, ich sehe es in deinen Augen. Du bist aufgehoben. Und du hast gestern gesagt, ich will heute Abend Mahjong spielen. Das ist das Ding. Also, als ich von der Schule nach Hause kam, habe ich den Kindern gesagt. Und?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Oh, sehr interessant. But I shouldn't have said anything because I think when you're a nine-year-old, let's say, and you're like, oh, this adult needs me to support them emotionally, what that immediately, then this kid was like not having it. It put them in a bad mood. And I understand that. It's not their duty to... I thought it was going to be more fun.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Like, so we're going to play Mahjong tonight and, you know... Aber weiß, dass das passiert.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
I do that not infrequently, though. I'm like, guys, daddies...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Because I don't ever throw, I so rarely throw you under the bus like that. I don't think of it as throwing you under the bus. I think of it as an honestly sweet thing. We're collectively all going to work together to make this a better situation for daddies.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
I'm not playing a card. You're acting like I'm saying, and it's something that I do for all of us, like, we all work together as a unit to kind of Not all the time, but like it's... But it makes, I mean, we're like a little team working together. And I want to teach them to be respectful.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Well, yeah, I've seen you do that. I've heard you do that. So I'm not doing it every day or anything. It's every once in a while. And yesterday was one of them. I wanted them to have preparation and wrap their heads around Mahjong is our future. But I think I should have kept it more light and fun. Like, so we're going to have dinner and then we're going to play Mahjong. Everyone's happy. But...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
I think our kid was already having big feelings and then I think to think that they have to, you know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Hold space for daddy's feelings. Yeah. Interesting. Not good. I mean, last night, one of our kids did start crying when we said we're going to play another game of Mush. Like, we gotta take it easy. But I'm scared.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
I think let's just chill out about it. Let's make it a fun thing. I can teach you. We can play three-player games. It's not as fun, but it exists.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
You know what, if this is like our problem and what we're worried about, life is pretty good. I'm just like, you don't need to stress out about it or get bummed out about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
So crazy that they put that all on a button. Oh Gott, heute wird es lustig werden. Ich kann sagen, wir sind auf den Räumen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
Anyway, I was a threat in Mahjong. I won the vast majority of games that I played. Maybe not vast, but the majority. I went to a Mahjong weekend where I won with one whole day less. I was there 50% of the time and I won the most games of everyone. Cool. The 2025 card, I have won barely any. I went and played with St. Monica the other night. And her lovely friends didn't win.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
169 - Go Make Some Fudge
One of them was learning how to play. That's tough stuff. I won one game with our family so far. That's it. Our kids have each won one. You've won twice. What's happening to me?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Because the window is like, they're just open. Yeah, I know. They are just fully. Mine's on the corner by the bridge. So, like, if someone's walking across the bridge or, like, you guys are playing cornhole. After I got out of the shower, I was watching you guys naked, butt naked, playing cornhole.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
It happens. It's all good. I can respect the cop out, though.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yesterday, I threw my knee out in the pool.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yeah, Chad. So y'all know me. We'll get the feet wet, bullshit a little bit. I said, you know what? Fuck it. Let me go in there with Zen. I'm in there, and I fucked up my knee a minute ago, but I just never got it checked out or anything. Bro, I'm kicking, and I must have kicked, like, sideways or something. I just felt the pop. And I'm like, ugh.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yeah, that's where we got back from dinner.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
You got to go get that shit looked at. I know, man. It sucks. But, yeah, no more pool for me for the weekend because if we were in, The ocean or that right there. I could have potentially drowned. I only had one leg.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I'm going to be honest. If I start going under, we can't be attached. You're just going to have to let me go. Drift away.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
If I'm drowning, I'm going to start pulling you under. You don't want that. You just swim away. Oh, yeah. He's going to be panicking.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Would you take a picture of one or would you be scared if it just walked up? What? What? Are you crazy? I'm not fucking with that.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I mean, bro, it's not going to just start chasing.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
No, they are quick. I know that.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
That's how I feel the last time I came here. It kind of put me in, like, a weird... Like, what the fuck? What's going on here? Like, is this real life?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Here's my only request. Literally my only request. Is that we have a private bathroom.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yo, I'd be fucking tweaking. We got to get five big booms on the watch party from them.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
GeoGuessr is the biggest tournament there.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Oh, people that exactly know.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I'm going to watch it there, though.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
We can watch party while we're there on downtime. GeoGuessr Major. Go up to GeoGuessr Major.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yeah, probably $400. I think so. I thought it was $250 for the old Team Pass. Was it?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Take it for granted as it goes on.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
No, he's not. I don't think he is now. Wait, it flipped again? I think so. Go to Beans' Twitter. I think I saw some shit this morning, unless I was half asleep. Wait, what?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
And then, look. Wait, he's not playing again? Watch. Click this. Click his tweet early.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I feel bad for them for that. I ain't going to lie.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
He's not going to get Beans' spot, but he can take someone else's out there. Hypothetically, though. And this is. In the league.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
You can't do that. Winning third. Can't do that.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
We always talk about the fucking— And this guy drops a 1.5. I know, but we always talk about the honeymoon phase and shit like that, bro.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I mean, it was their decision, you know? So, like, fuck. I mean, if they would have played better, they wouldn't have had Thieves. But shit, they made a change for a reason. And now, fuck. Dude, Surge phase. I mean, it's going to be tough. They never said the road was going to be easy.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I actually play off a program where I can use Sound EQ on the PS5. Oh, really?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Loving it. He said, yo, one of the SD kids said, yo, Bose, no one sauced you up yet? I said, what? He was like, I'll put you on the sauce. He put you on? Yeah.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
That's free intelligence. I'm telling you, you can fucking hear someone across the map.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
You got to check it out.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Big day. Big day. First day of the major, ladies and gentlemen, live from Miami.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
And not only that, they can lose two maps in a row and you still have to play them like... Don't let up. Yeah, like 0-0. They will come back and beat you. Now they win a search or they win a control.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Oh, yeah. I would say Miami too.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I mean, it's their home event too. I mean, all the cards are laid out right for him.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I didn't even peep the venue, to be honest.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
It should be. It's Miami. It better be. If not, we might be in trouble.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
That's my favorite. That's almost one of my favorite parts. I want to see him talk shit. Me too. I want to hear that shit too.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
The energy was crazy. I'm not going to lie. Inside the building is pretty crazy.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I can't argue the facts.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Number two. People say they can't watch baseball live like a normal baseball game. I can do that with ease.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
They were out the night before.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
you know we're doing our thing yeah and then it's not like we're just sitting there but playoffs playoffs playoffs i'm like that with everything though what but that's why that's why yeah that's why i kind of picked up the nba as i stopped watching baseball or you're big on nba i started watching boxing once i fell off baseball shit like that it sucks like i was the same exact way with the yankees he once jeter went and it was just like i kind of like my love for
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Because this team is now... He's friends with Mitch. Mitch Marner. He's one of his great friends.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
The hell just ran across the backyard, Pop?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yeah, I just saw something run across.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Absolutely. Make sure to tune in.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Trying to turn it up another notch.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
I think that's very important. That's the only thing I'm worried about is that regardless if Breach falls to us first map, They're pretty good in search. They have a good search roster. They hit shit out together. I know Purge is at S&D. Yeah, they're always working together. So it's like, I think if we want to beat these guys, we need to guarantee, obviously, take a respawn.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
But I think we need to win our searches.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
But if we beat, like, Phaser Surge, then it's like, oh, shit.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
We got to hope Snoop is playing a little slower than what he does.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
That's the thing, though, is, like, Search players, as AR players, they can have the knowledge, but they're not really in the mix as much as Shotzi and Hook are on the map. All we need to do is just be directing them. Like, you have Shotzi and Hook, bro?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
That sounds so lovely. Yeah. He play calls. That sounds lovely.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Top four teams should be happy with that based on recent events. Okay, we got top four.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
It looked like Matt was kind of getting emotional at the end. I was like, damn, I don't think I've ever seen him. Yeah, they've been silver surfing, bro. Like, I'm like, damn. That had to have felt so good. To see Matt even get like after all the times he's won. To see a mean lap much to someone like that is just kind of inspiring.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
We're just being tested. That's so fire. He's a goat for that. That's so fire. I know Matt was like, holy shit, I'm about to fucking fry. Matt was like, what the fuck? He just inspired me. Yeah, that shit was hard.
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Oh, yeah, the double teammate?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Yeah, we reverse swept them, right?
OpTic Podcast
Our $7,000,000 Watch Party House! | The OpTic Podcast Ep. 222
Absurdly full. And, bro, everything was fucking good. And I ain't going to lie, chat. I'm the type of guy that doesn't eat certain shit. Like, even that tartare right there, I was like, eh. No, you had to try that. That toast was phenomenal.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
And so she's been getting healthy, I mean, making her breakfast and the family and flossing for my daughter and my son is starting to talk and everything's going so, so well.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I do need to know what happened tonight so I can understand what I see at the house. Okay. So we'll go on into that. All right. Okay, so I'll focus on tonight. So she came home at like 5.15.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
We were trying to have like a romantic night, like a together night. And so I drew a bath for us. And so I was in there and I was putting Despacito, the music, on. on my cell phone. So by the time my wife came, she was pretty excited, I guess, or laughing or whatever. Then she put her clothes and other clothes downstairs in the wash. Came back upstairs, and then we kind of hung out in the bathtub.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
We cut her nails, her toenails. I washed her hair. I was kind of massaging her and stuff. We just had a beautiful evening, just a very, I don't know, like a positive evening. It wasn't necessarily going through sex or anything like that either. It was sort of just to be happy, you know. The past eight months was really stressful and difficult with the bills, with everything.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Now I have a job and a house we like. We just bought a bedroom set for Max. Like everything is coming together. Everything's so wonderful.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I'm always too hot in bathtubs, so she likes to stay longer. So I got out, and I went to bed, essentially. And I take sleeping pills and the Raspan for anxiety. I've had to do this since my deployment. And so, anyway, so I slept. What do you take to sleep? Simply Sleep. So it's over-the-counter? Yeah, I take three of those. I'm trying to lower the amounts I take. I used to take four.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I never want to be the person to have to tell somebody this. Mark, your wife has passed away.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I'm going to have the officer outside the room call a counselor. Would you be able to talk to a counselor? Would that be helpful? I can talk to you, man. All right. We'll keep talking, but I want somebody here that has good resources for you, okay? So I'm going to have them come, and you can talk to me if you want.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
All of a sudden I woke up, which is surprising because usually when I take the pills and stuff, I wake up later, like 1 o'clock maybe or something, 2 o'clock. It's kind of a pattern, like a cycle. And this time it was something different. I kind of woke up. Which bed were you in? Upstairs. And I was kind of listening, and I could hear the TV still playing downstairs.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
And I said there was still a light bathroom and something like that. She's still in the bathroom, so I was gonna tell her to come over. And I tried to open the door, and I couldn't. Something was blocking it, and I pushed. And I can fucking see her feet. I see her feet are like really white. And so I call out for her. I'm like, what the fuck, Sherry? And finally a push. I had to push quite a bit.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
And it was like pushing her body, like with a door. Like her legs were going sideways.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
And then I noticed her head. It looked fucked up. It was blood. And she had like hematomas and stuff. And I recognized that. Was she face down or she was on her back? She was on her back. And was her head towards the door or feet towards the door? The feet were towards the door. The feet were blocking the legs. The feet were blocking. And so I moved. I don't know because I did push her.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
So I'm not sure how she was originally. Like we were thinking. You said you saw hematomas. Where were they? Yeah. The first thing I noticed was the blood on that leg. Mark said there was a sharp, dangerous corner between the bathtub and the sink.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
And I noticed the blood all over that fucking thing. And anyways, I freaked out. I fucking called her name. And I slipped. It was like slippery. You went in though? Yeah, I went in there and Were you wearing any clothes or were you naked? I was, I think I was wearing these clothes. I was wearing these clothes. And I did the, I'm CPR certified and stuff, you know.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
So I did the, I was observed, listening, all that stuff. It didn't look good. The face color, this coloration there, the patches. And she didn't look good. And I freaked out. I noticed her lungs weren't moving. I immediately called 911.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Yeah, I don't remember the rest, honestly. I don't know. only to do like mouth to mouth, but I knew that was not, it was too far for that. I could tell like it was blood and like it was purple and stuff. So did you ever do the mouth to mouth? No, no, sir. Okay. No, sir.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Um, but did you ever do any compressions? No, sir. Okay, so you just, you just evaluated? I did. I did. And I did touch her. I did touch her. You've been through the same military training? Exactly. I did the arteries and all that stuff, like the legs. So you checked her pulse? Yes, sir. You listened, listened and feel for writing and stuff like that? I could tell she slipped.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I mean, it looked like she fucking slipped in that son of a bitch corner. So, the tub was not overflowing. Mark did not do chest compressions or try CPR on his wife.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Okay, and what's going on there tonight? There are children in the house. I think I just found my wife. She's not breathing. I believe she's in the bathroom. And there's water and soap everywhere. And there's blood. I think there's a big hematoma. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My children. My children.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Take a deep breath for me, okay? I need to have a clear understanding of exactly what's going on. I have... Okay. I just found my wife. Okay. Sorry. She's in the water. I'm in... I'm in shock. Okay. Okay. All right. I understand, sir. I'm going to work with you, okay? Okay. Okay. My wife is on the bathroom floor, unresponsive. Look, I'm EMT certified. I am in the military. Okay.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I'm a soldier, so I am used to this. But not with my wife. And she's unresponsive. Okay. Can you do me a favor? Let's start CPR, okay? How old is your wife?
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Was she underwater or how did this happen, do you know? We were taking a bath early in the day and I left during the bathtub and went to sleep. And I woke up, and she wasn't next to me, so I went to check for her, and I couldn't open the bathroom door, and her legs were in the way, and they were really pale.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I want to wake up, man. Just fucking make me wake up, please. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God, her father, her brother.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Okay. Alright, so, my understanding is you were with her earlier, you guys were in the bath, you went to take a nap, and then you came back, and she is not responsive to you. Right. So do me a favor, let's get her flat on her back. What? She's in her back. She's in her back. She's in her back.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
She hit a fucking corner. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She fucking slipped and fell.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
The children in the house, however, please don't fucking traumatize them, okay?
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I don't want them to be traumatized. I don't want them to be traumatized. Maybe have them leave the room and then you can... They're not here. They're sleeping. They're sleeping. They're sleeping. We're all sleeping. Okay.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Do me a favor. Get the heel of your hand in the center of her chest. Put your other hand on top and let's start CPR, okay? Sir, she's purple. She's fucking... I'm telling you, I know what that looks like. I'm an Afghanistan war veteran, okay? Okay. All right. She's gone, sir.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I'll tell you what, let me get your name and see if they ever step outside so that you can talk to the medics, okay? Okay, okay, okay. All right, sir, let me get your name. Don't go with fucking sirens glaring, okay? I don't want my kids to be fucking traumatized, okay? Okay, what is your name? Mark Erickson, sorry. Oh, my God. Okay. May I call 203-645-7588? Yes.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
May I cover her with a, she's naked. May I cover her? Let's not do that. Let's let medics get there. I don't want my children to fight her like this. Okay. Well, you sit there in bed, right? No, I'm not. Okay, I thought you said they were in bed. They're in bed. I'm sorry. They're in bed. They're in bed. Okay, perfect. Okay. So do me a favor. Fuck, I'm losing it. I'm sorry. I'm losing it.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
I understand. Take a deep breath. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go outside. I got it. Talk to the medics, okay? Go outside? Okay, I'm going outside. Okay, perfect. They're almost on scene for you. Okay.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
This is a digital recorder. You mind if I run it while we're talking? That way I don't have to take so many notes.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Why don't we start with a general history of your family and what's been going on in your life and stuff like that. Okay. I met my wife in Wisconsin when I was attending law school.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Ever since we've been together, through the military, I'm a judge advocate in Boyd Branch Army. We went to live in Hawaii together. Our daughter was born there. She was born... At the same time, the tsunami was hitting the island. So the whole time, there was, like, the alarms going off. Oh, my. And you had contractions and stuff, so. Born in Army Hospital?
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
So Maddie was 14 months old. I deployed for seven months. It felt a lot longer. Anyways, very strong experience. But my wife was there throughout. I came back and we worked together and tried to buy a house in Hawaii. It didn't work out. We moved to a different place. Anyways, we traveled. We went to the big island with my cousin from Spain that came to visit.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
We went to Japan where my daughter was treated like a star. a little blonde girl and stuff. I mean, the Japanese are such cute people and stuff. And then it was approached by, so it was aviation, helicopters, so it was approached by a Sikorsky attorney offering me a job in civilian. So I went through reserves and then we moved to Connecticut. We were there for about a year and a half, 15 months.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
All the while, Mark was thriving in his Army career and working his way up to major. Sherry had gotten her degree in social work and was pursuing her own talents and income.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Yeah, and then for the remainder of the year, I've been unemployed in the civilian side. So I've been... Is that this year? This year, yes, sir. And I was just offered a job in Kentucky. Great job, super happy. Finally, after all these months, my wife really stepped up. I mean, she was the breadwinner. Anyways, we found a home together that we liked.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
We got new furniture for Max because his furniture is kind of, I don't know if you saw it, but- Your son? My son. Okay, how old is he? 18 months. 18 months.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Anyways, everything's been going great. I've been selected for major, BTC, below the zone. I'm ranked really high, I think, among my... I haven't had the appraisal yet, but I think I'll do really well. She's been, like, super supportive, like, moving to Kentucky. She likes the job she has here, but she's been supportive. Like, she knows we have to pay off our debts and everything.
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
Like, it's very positive and strong, and it's a good school for Maddie. And Matt is starting to talk. He said, good morning. Back to my wife who's supportive. Do we have a routine and stuff? Like, it's beautiful. Anyways, and so...
Sword and Scale
Episode 294
And yesterday she had a headache, and so she has heart issues, she has vision issues, she had a piercing headache. Anyways, so yeah, so yesterday she wasn't feeling too good. And then I've been juicing, you know, the juicer, liquid diet, whatever the Australian do, you know, like I've been doing all that stuff, you know.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I was looking at her and I was just thinking, she's so evil. Why do you think she's evil? Because she turned on me. She lied to me. She broke my heart.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
We were supposed to be with each other forever. We were supposed to move in the apartment. She backstabbed me and betrayed me. It seemed like she guessed she had planned the whole time and she... ended up using me, I guess. You know, it was hurtful. How could she do that to me on the day she graduates? I'm just a very unstable person. I just float from one place to another.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
You know, I just, I can't control my emotions. It's hard being bipolar because your emotions go this way and they go that way. Like, you know, I'm good, I'm good, I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm good, I'm good, I'm bad, I'm bad. But I know I'm absolutely freaking nuts because every time I am. What did you use? I don't know. I used a hammer. I didn't want to do it. I really didn't. I just... I sang it.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
It's the voices. Do it, do it, do it, do it. And I'd walk up, put the hammer close to her head, and I'd walk away, and then close my eyes, and I just did it.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
Was there anything special about it, or anything? No. It was spontaneous. I hate knives. I don't want her to scream in front of my kid. I don't want to see my kid hacking her to death.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I knew she was going to die because I could see the gashes and the blood in her head. I could see a piece of brain sticking out and shit. So, you know, she made noise and I'm like, Adrian, she's snoring, turn around, go back to sleep. And I pulled her out very quickly. I remember pulling her out very quickly and then I had to strangle her to put her out of her misery.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
And I did it very quick. I did it very quick and I was very slick. And I said something to her, but I'd rather not say it.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I'll say it because I don't give a fuck. I'm going electric chair anyways. I said, you tore my heart out and you destroyed our family. Because that's all I wanted was us to be together.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I mean, basically, I supported her for 10 years while she went to medical school and, you know, and, you know, paid all the bills and everything, you know. And then, you know, once I lost my job and everything, things started to get very sour again. And then she ended up graduating school. She was, you know, she became a doctor.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
The day that she graduated, she didn't come up, hug or kiss me or anything. She went directly to her friends. She completely ignored me and blew me off. And I was just heartbroken by that because we were so close. Like, she's like, I don't want you anymore. You're stupid. You're an idiot. Like she would always undermine me and everything. I just don't, I was like completely blindsided by it.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I just, the last few days I've been pacing, I can't concentrate. I have the devil inside my head, you know. Like, I'm just, I'm just, like, kill her, kill her, like, kill her. She's going to leave you. I don't want her to leave me. I love her. I'd rather have her dead than her leave me.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
You know, I looked at her phone and she's talking to another guy and she's cheating on me. How do you know she's cheating on you? Oh, gosh, like, sweetie and, you know, all the, you know, all blushing, you know what I mean?
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
Oh, I felt angry. Okay. And this voice is in my head. It's time, it's time, it's time. Say it. It's time.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I see a lot of black. I see a lot of shadows. I see it's coming towards me. I see black crows. That is all I wanted was just a family. That's all I wanted. I'm 42 years old. I don't have another chance at a family. That's all I wanted. I didn't want to lose her. She's so mean to me. She's so mean to me. If she can't have a family with me, she cannot have a family with anybody else, and that's it.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
She betrayed me. You don't sit there with somebody for 11 years, married for nine years, have a child and a family. Let me support her. I supported her, I'm so proud of her. Every time I talk to everyone, I'm like, my wife's gonna be a doctor. She had a beautiful future in front of her, but that beautiful future was supposed to be with me.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I killed her. That's it. That's it. There's nothing afterwards. I deserve to go to penitentiary. You know, it's the hardest motherfuckers on earth. They'll probably beat the shit out of me and rape me. But I deserve that. I don't give a fuck. You know what? You reap what you sold, you know?
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I get to the bathroom. I just want to say to my son, I go, Adrian, I love you. I got to go. And he's like, Daddy, where are you going? Like, you know, he doesn't know. He doesn't know a thing. You know, he didn't know what happened, you know. And I'm like, I love you. He's like, I love you too, Daddy. Bye-bye. That's the last time I'll ever see him.
Sword and Scale
Episode 292
I want to tell you that... I feel so, so bad for my son. I feel horrible that I committed this crime. I did not want her to destroy my family. She ripped apart my heart, but I'm the one that destroyed it. Kill me.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 6: Behind the Facade
Good morning, guys. Anybody hungry? Chaplain Mark is back.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 6: Behind the Facade
Here's something that you get for yourself later. How are you doing otherwise? Good, good, good. What can we pray for?
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 6: Behind the Facade
And the rest is history, as they say.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 1: You Build We Burn
It was within a mile or so of where I lived on McDowell Mountains.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 1: You Build We Burn
We couldn't really figure out what the cause of it was.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 1: You Build We Burn
I remember one time running by there with Mark, and we just stopped and looked at the house at how it had burned down, and there was just nothing there.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 1: You Build We Burn
It's just a rocky mountain trail that weaves and twists and turns and goes up and down, and we ran by that one regularly.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 1: You Build We Burn
It was much bigger than anything else in the neighborhood, and it was encroaching on the desert.
The Binge Crimes: Finding Mom's Killer
The Arsonist Next Door | 1: You Build We Burn
Phoenix is just a large, growing city that was eating up the deserts.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: Tony's Bad Mood
Well, hold on, like, why did you think you were gonna have video game time? Yeah, that's a good question.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: Tony's Bad Mood
I don't want to play this game with Jeremy. Zaz, you go. I think I'm kind of in that area too. Man, if you play me some Boys to Men, and then you give me some Motown Philly, I'm in a great mood.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: Tony's Bad Mood
Du darfst nicht sitzen, ohne dass du ein Klipper-Fan bist.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: Tony's Bad Mood
He made 1.6 last year with the Jets.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
Don Levitard. My wife says this is a sexy voice. It really is. Yeah. I'm hard. Thank you. Wow. Stugatz. So am I, actually. I don't know why. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
No, not in Miami, for sure. For one thing, everybody is swallowed by the shadow of Messi. If you're playing for Inter-Miami, I don't care who you are, and now they're talking about getting the Belgian midfielder from Man United.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
I only do one mock draft, by the way. I don't do mock draft .5.0, 6.0. Come on. One mock draft is enough. We all love mock drafts. Second draft, second biggest day in the NFL behind the Super Bowl. Let me ask you a question.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
He hasn't done his research yet. I think Travis Hunter right now, but I'm still in mid-research. Let me ask you this. He didn't answer the other one.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
He's evading the jury.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
Do you agree with what I think is fairly common thinking that if this were last year's draft, Cam Ward and Shador Sanders would probably be the fifth and sixth rated quarterbacks. And therefore, they're going to be overdrafted this year simply because they're the best available quarterbacks, not because they really deserve to be one and five or whatever.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
Or Man City, right.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
All-time. All-time. All-time, right.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Stick-and-Pickin' with Dane Brugler
But yeah, now that you mention it, maybe I should check into that. Is that hyphenated? I'm just curious. Stick and pick. Or no hyphens.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
Our interview with Jordan Schultz made me think, did you ever have aspirations of being a performer? I'm certain he did. You were young. You still can.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
I don't think this is unique to us. I think a lot of kids at age 3 and 4 dance for their families.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
Ich erinnere mich immer an We Didn't Start the Fire von Billy Joel. Nana und Pop wären auf dem Kühlschrank und Michael und ich wären im Raum und würden mit dem Lied tanzen. Wie würdest du tanzen? Manchmal wäre Michael in einem Hämper und ich wäre auf dem Kühlschrank. Ich würde den Hämper aufschlagen und dann würde ich tanzen. Und dann würde Michael aus dem Hämper kommen. Choreografiert?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
Nein, nicht so detailliert. Das ist ein langer Intro. Das ist zu lang. Das sind 45 Sekunden von dem, was Jeremy macht.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
All I remember you telling me as a kid, like something you wanted to be when you grew up, was a bus driver, because you liked the idea of driving a big wheel.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
Was wird Gracelyn zu dir nennen, wenn sie in ihren 40er-Jahren ist? Wenn sie sagt, du bist Wild Greg oder so?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: The Commissioner of Nicknames
Das ist sehr seltsam. We're on the air. Yeah, Greg. I didn't know. What do I know? Nobody alerts me. Dad, we want to give you a space here. This is the post-game show. You're leaving us for the week here. Right on. Talk to us. What did we not get to today that you wanted to get to?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Messiah at The Elbo Room
Don LaGrecker, by the way, would be that person.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Messiah at The Elbo Room
Like right now. I had to sit with 8-1.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Messiah at The Elbo Room
I've been on a plane for 72 hours. I feel bad.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Messiah at The Elbo Room
And let's not make this just a one-man team. They still have Leon Dreisaitl and Zach Hyman on that team, too.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Die Boost Mobile-Netzwerk, zusammen mit unseren Roaming-Partnern, beträgt 99% der US-Population. 5G-Fähigkeiten sind in allen Bereichen nicht vorhanden.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Mark's Wife Emmy
Hello. No, it's not Pitbull. My name is Mark Alexan, and I would like to enter the contest. But it's not about what you can do for me. It's what I can do for you. If selected, I will give Stugatz this 1980s starting lineup Mark Gastineau figure. Also, I'll give the crew this Fruitopia. And most importantly, you guys can have my wife's Emmy. I didn't win it, but you guys can have it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
I like the cut of your chin. You've realized you're not man enough. You need man 101 in your life. It takes a real man to realize he made a mistake. But an even bigger one to realize that mistakes are the domain of the loser. They're called mistakes, not Mr. Stakes. Trade in that Hyundai Sonata, get yourself a Chevy Silverado, and drive your Keeser to Mark Schlares Man 101.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
And when you think you've arrived, you haven't. We trick Google Maps into thinking we're located somewhere we ain't. Why? Because here at Man 101, we'll always make you go that extra mile. Mark Schlares Man 101. You're welcome. Mark Schlerus Man 101 features an all-star cast of instructors to help you get the results you need.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
Tony Burselli's history class will show you that Rome could have actually been built in a day if those lazy Italians just had some elbow grease. And Warren Sapp's finance class will teach your mouth not to write checks your ass can't cash.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
We're not savages, though. We'll even allow you to recharge your batteries in our world-class spa. You've heard of saunas and mud masks? We kind of have that. Only we lock you up in Texas Tech's equipment room and just put your hand in the dirt. And remember, each day ends with Mr. Schlereth chewing you up and spitting you out. So sign up right now for Mark Schlereth's Man 101.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
The price is whatever you can afford, as long as you put your money where your mouth is. Enroll now and get two free tickets to the gun show, which just means you get to look at Brian McCann doing some arm curls so long as you don't look him in the eye. Mark Schlereth's Man 101. You're welcome. You ever watch the combine?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
All these so-called football players prancing around in their skivvies, worried about being aerodynamic and clocking a good 40? Here at Mark's Laris Man 101, the only sports where we hand you is a hard hat and a lunch pail. Protein shakes. We don't drink shakes. Why? Because we already got the best damn blenders on earth. Our jaws. Butch up. I know life has its ups and downs.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 11
They're called squats. Now drop and give me 20. Mark Schlerus Man 101. You're welcome.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
She's extremely uncomfortable. She's devastated. You've broken 10 years of trust and love from our family. We just can't believe this is even happening.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Yeah. So, and he was receptive to it. He understood. I said, you know, it's up to you to tell her, you know, your wife, how, you know, why you can't come over or why you shouldn't come over. Um, initially that's, that was what I told him. And, uh, now he controls that narrative, but, you know, talking to my wife more, we're like, I really feel horrible, uh,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
knowing that she has no idea she's kind of a stooge here what's going on and you know they're they're he is such a religious church going leads ministry and charity this guy i mean he was a picture perfect just model for a christian man too which adds to the the complete just blowing our minds that this happens just unbelievable so now it's like well
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Should we be honest with our nanny and tell her what happened? Yes, you have to. Knowing that she's currently undergoing so much stress and stage four medical treatments and completely shattering her world.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Maybe. Yeah, she's very, very undying optimist, the most positive person you could ever meet.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Yeah, so I'm not sure if that's because she really just sees the best in everything and she's oblivious to some of that. But she has to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Yeah. So... How do we even... go about that conversation that just my wife to her. And then no, it's both of you. It's a complete shock to her. How do we handle that?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
And we've also recommended her to others and friends of ours that they also sit for too. And I'm just like, boy, I feel like there's some liability with at least knowing that this behavior is there. I don't know if I should extend to others or just completely keep within a family as our own issue. Because it could just be an obsession with my wife and that could be where it ends. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
She's made it pretty clear that she definitely doesn't want her to feel like she can't come over.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Okay, and luckily her time is now reduced a bit because our kids are older and we have school. Sure, of course. So it's not full-time, so it wouldn't be a giant impact, which makes me feel a bit better, too, if she chooses not to keep coming.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Yeah, I'm just hoping it's not a complete blindside. And if it is, I'm just like, boy, with what she's already going through, I feel so bad because she doesn't have a lot of options or money. Well, and let me tell you this.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
I told him I'm not going to tell her you can, but then I was like, well, crap, now he controls the whole narrative, which also kind of worried me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
The front door was open, and he asked to speak outside. We caught the first part on the ring camera. We have the recording. It's just of him saying, hey, come talk to me. Right as the door closes, hey, I wanted to, and then it cuts out. So she knew that it's by motion, so she kept trying to move on the front porch to make it record.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Unfortunately, it didn't, because she was like, oh, my God, she wanted that unrecorded. But at least the first part with him asked her to come talk in private. That is recorded and captured.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Thanks for taking my call. I'm okay. Thank you. I appreciate you taking my call.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
My question is, do we tell our nanny that her husband propositioned my wife?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
Yeah. Tell me about what happened, man. So some quick background. We've had a nanny for about 10 years now. She helped raise both our children. Oh, so she's not a nanny. She's a family member. She became family. Her husband and both have become family to us over 10 years. They have no kids of their own. So our kids basically, of course, became their kids too.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
So that's all our kids know is them for sitting them. And they've been a huge part of their lives and ours. And it's been great for 10 years. And they're a huge help for us. To sprinkle in some other context, she is currently battling stage four cancer and she hasn't for the past year. Yep. Cause why not?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
She beat it about five years ago, once before, and then it came back and now it's stage four and she is a strong woman and she's fighting again. So we have all the hope in the world for her and she's got a lot of strength. So we're, we're rooting for her and she's doing great. And she never, never stopped working through that time. She, was watching the kids, never had issues, still showing up.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
He would often help her and come as a support for her, her husband, to help with the kids when she was tired or sick. So it was still amazing watching those two also help together. So that's been great until, of course, just recently, as you could tell from the question. So a few weeks back, there was a short gap in time. She couldn't watch her kids, so he volunteered.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
to fill about a one-hour gap that we had in our schedules, which he's done before, and it works out great. So he was there when my wife got home to take over, and he asked to speak to her in private, which she did outside with him, thinking that one of the kids may be in trouble.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
But he proceeded to tell her how gorgeous she was, not just beautiful, but gorgeous, and that he sees how she looks at him. Just completely shocked and mortified my wife, and she was basically stunned. And she said no.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
That's the first thing she said. I'm not sure what you thought I was looking at you like, but that's not at all what I want. Happily married, and you need to think of your poor wife right now, what she's going through. I can't believe you even asked me that. Um, he then said, you know, you know, I can be discreet. I've been in the military.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
I've been discreet before and just completely blew her mind as to what he was telling her just in shock. Right. So she called me and told me I left my work engagement and came right home and talked to her. Cause she was in shock and just very uncomfortable. She was very upset. So I asked him to talk to me, and he did.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Our Nanny’s Husband Hit on My Wife
The next day, we spoke, and I made it very clear and drew a boundary that I said, hey, here's what happened. He did not deny it. He said, yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't have acted. I feel dumb now. I said, well, you feel dumb because you got shot down. But just so you know, you are not welcome at my house anymore. My wife doesn't want to see you anymore.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Wowzers. And one of my family members has met her and talked to her. And she does not want to meet me at this moment. Okay. And maybe never will. And I was just wondering how, you know, I might get through this if she doesn't. Because, you know, I really hate to bother anybody in the world hating me, you know, or not liking me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Kind of a struggle. Who's the mother? Just one of those 19, 20 year ago, one night stand quick things, you know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Well, you know, my regular life, I feel pretty good. I have nothing, you know, nothing to complain about that. But, you know, just thought of somebody, you know, thinking that I might be a bad person, you know, and not want to have anything to do with me because... Something somebody else might have, you know, said to them, you know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Oh, my goodness. You had no idea? Wow, sirs.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Well, I do, because when I found out, you know, I felt like there was a piece, something missing for years. Yeah. And I felt it, but I didn't know what it was. And as soon as I found out, I promise you, I felt it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
No, I haven't. I don't know how to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
But, you know, I've done some digging and talked to other people. I do know where she's at, but I don't want to feel like, I don't want to know. Listen, bro. The stalkerish thing. You're her dad. Just reach out to somebody out of nowhere, you know, hey, I'm your dad.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
You don't believe that? I don't believe they're talking.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Yes, I do. Like I said, I know where she's at. I've looked. I would start with a letter. But I do not have an address to send it to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
I don't know exactly where she lives.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Okay, so you don't think you believe I need to reach out and not be scared to do it? Bro, this is your daughter.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Right, man. That's nothing. I just don't know how to do it. Lead with that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Oh, I know the date. I know where it happened. I put that in there.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Well, that's what I needed to hear. I just needed a little push. What are you nervous about, man? Man, I'm always nervous about everything. How come? And I worry my whole life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Well, I've got a 22-year-old son and another daughter that's 27. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Oh, I tell them all the time how much I love them. They have no doubt how much I love them. Okay. My grandkids and... Do they know about this other person? Yes, they do know. What'd they say?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Well, that's what I needed to hear. Thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Just Found Out I Have a 27-Year-Old Daughter
Well, I recently found out through a family member who got to digging in the ancestries and 23 and me and stuff like that that I have a 28-year-old daughter that I've never met.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
I don't really like to bring it up with her. I guess I don't want to disappoint her with how I feel about religion. I don't use religion much. as much in my everyday life as she does. And she, I wouldn't say she tries to force her religion on me. She tries to, I guess, in her mind, she's trying to open my mind to religion more.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
And it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable, and I really don't want to tell her that, you know, I don't feel the same way about it as you do, because I really don't want to disappoint her or hurt her feelings.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
Well... I grew up, I call it, I grew up as a part-time Catholic, you know, Easter and Christmas. Sure. You know, my father, he basically went just to socialize, basically. She grew up in a Pentecostal holiness, if that'll tell you anything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
So, yeah, she was, you know, jumped down the aisle speaking in tongues the whole nine yards, and, you know, we just don't see eye to eye on that stuff, and, you know, she'll start asking me questions about my faith or, you know, like getting baptized or have I, you know, brought God in my life? Have I made Jesus my, you know, savior? And I don't know how to answer that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
And she'll like quiz me sometimes on theology, I guess. And it just kind of makes me feel uncomfortable. And I really don't know how to tell her, babe, you know, I, this isn't, you know, I guess I go along to get along right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
Uh, well, music. Okay. Um, you know, we have different, she listens to Caleb all the time and, um, No offense to the listeners out there, I think K-Love music is rather cheesy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
Oh, I'm a child of the 80s, man. Iron Maiden, the Ramones. I would hug you if you were sitting here right now. Well, truth be told, I was watching one of your episodes the other day, and I saw the Monsters of Metal album behind you. I have that exact album.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
I have to vet movies for her. Okay. You know, she gets real uncomfortable with sex scenes, nudity, profanity.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
Gosh, we're pretty open about everything, honestly.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
She's trying to open my mind to religion more. It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable and I really don't want to tell her. I don't feel the same way about it as you do because I really don't want to disappoint her or hurt her feelings.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
I think she wants me. to live with her eternally. There you go. Yeah. And she does, I guess she does fear for my, quote unquote, mortal soul.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
I know I can't, you know, I feel the love when she tells me this stuff. Yeah. You know, and it's funny because, you know, we both get up early in the morning to get ready for work, and she does her daily devotion in the morning, and I'm just down there watching YouTube videos. You know?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
Right? Yeah, I want to be around as long as I possibly can with her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?
Let me preface my question by saying I love... My wife and I, we've been married for 10 years. I love her just as much now as I ever did. Matter of fact, I tell people I won the wife lottery when I met this woman. Gross, Mark. I know, I know. We've been married 10 years. We're both in our mid-50s. She is 56. I'm 53. Okay. My question is... We differ on religion.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Oh, just relaxing at home and enjoying a day off of work.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
So, yeah, I've... been wrestling with a couple of things here over the last couple of weeks, just trying to find that right balance of work and family time. And, uh, we have a seven month old daughter and welcome to it. I love her to death, man. It's one of the best things I've ever been doing in my life really. And, uh,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
honestly, it's, I'm trying to figure out if this is, if I, if it's really the time for me to step into a role where I'm able to be home a lot more and help, uh, my wife, uh, raise our daughter. And, um, and it's just, you know, honestly, this job that I'm doing right now, it just took me a lot of hours away from home. And it's, Kind of beating me up mentally, physically every now and then.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Somewhat. So I do have a little bit of experience in the financial background. Before this job, I worked at a bank for a few years. Had regular hours, obviously, and I was treated real well. uh, basically the reason I moved to this role was something, it was something I was, uh, basically trained to do and, uh, basically went to, and actually went to school for it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And do you like playing golf? I enjoy it. I don't play very much right now just with how crazy work is. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Honestly, how I looked at it in the last week was... um, came home after a rough day and I, I, we, we're in a, we're good marriage wise, but then sometimes we get into the habit of, uh, taking out frustration and kind of snapping at each other just because of a long day at work. And then we, we talked through it and, uh, we're good otherwise with that. And we've, uh,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
One of the good things about our marriage is that we don't yell at each other. If we feel like there's something going on, we actually sit down, talk it out very calmly, give each other a lot of room to air out their frustrations or anything, and then we can do it very calmly and very respectfully, at least.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Because... So part of me is a little fearful of not being home. What are you afraid of? So... my wife, she was also grew up in a house where her dad was not present as much because he was working very often. He was, he traveled for work and everything. And she went through that, uh, that time in her life and seeing her mom, uh, kind of having to raise her and her brother on her own a little bit.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I don't want to have. And also with my wife's work, uh, she also has, uh, has her crazy busy times, late nights and everything. And it would be a lot better balance for us. Um, because our busy times actually kind of overlap a little bit and it gets a little, and she, is she telling you to move?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Am I off? No. You're actually... I've wrestled with this before and... And it's tough because I've seen it both ways of where having the life at home, having that time with family, being able to take care of things around the house, and just able to having a life outside of work. But then also trying to find that
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And listening to your show and everything I've seen, some of the other stuff that you've discussed of trying to find that passion, that's kind of what drove me to golf in the first place when I was younger, was the passion for it. And some of the things that you've said in the past, it's kind of interesting how that has...
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
kind of crept in my mind of where you don't have to be passionate about something to do it for a long amount of time. I'm trying to figure out what would be if... Because honestly, right now, what I love doing more than anything, what I feel like my... First and highest purpose right now is to be a father and be a husband that is present and able to help at home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And working 60 hours a week sometimes does not. It just gets in the way of that.
The Five
The Five 05-28-2025
Thank you for taking the quiz. Listen to The Five ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
The Five
The Five 05-28-2025
The emails and texts I get from my Democratic sources, as I said before, the Trump administration's over. And it's just a bankrupt, you know, corrupt mess. And he's already a failed president and he's not getting anything done. They're back to a Schiffian, Adam Schiffian and Heather Cox Richardson point of view, which is everything Trump does is an epic disaster.
The Five
The Five 05-28-2025
And and that the American people will turn on him and Republicans in the midterms because he's impolite.
The Five
The Five 05-20-2025
There were plenty of days in public when he when he was not the best Biden ever.
The Five
The Five 05-20-2025
Listen to the all-new Bret Baier podcast featuring Common Ground, in-depth talks with lawmakers from opposite sides of the aisle, along with all your Bret Baier favorites like his all-star panel and much more. Available now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to The Five ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
That nighttime fucking shit. That slamming door shit that hits out like that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Oh, you got sleep through it? I sleep through everything. I can't sleep through that slamming door shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
For real? You crazy? The stomps? All of that shit. Nah, not me, nigga. Yo, hey! Turn that shit down, bro.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Talk about this on your pod, nigga. You bitch ass nigga. I told you God ain't done with you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He can get your number. You know when he got your number. He gonna get your number. He's one of them niggas that gets anybody's number. By hook or crook.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
It burn. It hurt when it did. Go back and finish. No, they numbed his ass all up. So it's just like half bald? He was making jokes with the lady, you know what I mean?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I'm on that podcast, you know what I mean? Yeah, nigga Joe with his leg.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
A quick four, y'all. Me and you, and her and her. That's two on two. Hey! Okay, Blue.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
What's wrong with you, nigga? Old last man named Ish. Act like it. Yo, I can get you right now, Ish. I said that, yo. There you go. Get in your bag.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Indeed. Yeah, dedicated to our significant others. That's right.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Joe, shut your ass if we get you right now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
In your head is four bars. Let's get married on the beach. Girl, yeah, you took me off the streets. Come on, Freeze. Huh?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
What I mean is that I've noticed that when my wife come in, the times that she wants to communicate with me is during the times I'm doing something. So I'm typing some shit, deep type too. Let me ask you a question. So in my mind, it's like, what can I say?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Why would you say that? Yo, I didn't understand. That's so rude. That was rude. That's not true, nigga.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
These people that they're referring to are workers, co-workers, and they work. You know what I mean? Nothing salacious happened. My wife comes first before any of that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
That is factual. You went deep. That is factual. You just got to. You got to. And you'll know when next time is coming around. So you really got to when you get married. You're like, look, it ain't worth it. Yeah. Dead. You get quiet when we talk about our girls. Girl talk? That's what I like about you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You pulled that too. You put that in the air. I did.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
But on the internet, again, he just, I don't know what the fuck. I don't know how you do it, Mark.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You said turn the oven on at one point. No, yes, you did. At first, y'all said that first.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You feel like he'll come over. Yeah, you come over that way.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I thought he did. Why do you think that? Let me finish. Let me finish.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He got words. He pulled his words out. Shout out to Mendisa. No, I'm just saying I believe what I say. That's my guy, man. Yeah, I believe this shit. You know, we just see it different.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Oh, shit. Not nobody. Sure to get your niggas? I'll take both of y'all. Oh!
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I know you're talking about the two big doors.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
German Shepherds are clever, nigga. Watch your fucking mouth.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Right, let's see. Because you did call me from some bullshit. I'm sorry. I'm like, yo, Ish, hello? Hello?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Did you climb the gate and jump down or try to slide down the gate? There's two types of jumps.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
No, I didn't know. Hold on. But when I saw the progress report, it says the grades wasn't good. But then when I emailed the teachers, they said that he improved. So it was a little, because I was mad. And then this morning, like 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning, I started getting emails. And I said, oh. And I had to set in the screenshot.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And I felt a little bad, too, Parks. Why? Because I got to send the bad email in the family group chat. And now I got to send the good one. I felt crazy. Like, holy shit. He was saying, I'm doing good in other classes. You ain't believing. No, I didn't. I didn't. Yeah, you should be lying. Yeah. So that was my week, my weekend, and then my son's birthday. Nigga, say something, nigga.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I'm playing with niggas' kids, but niggas fuck you up in here, yo.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
His consulting bag is lit. Yeah, I know. How you find the time to consult, though? You do it in the car? You be doing it in weird places. Usually, niggas consult in their house or in their office. You want to go. You on the go. Got the mobile office.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
For some reason, I thought border different.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yo. No, that's funny. You good? You good? Let the nigga tell the rest of the story, man.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Why you go to the club with the bike on? Why you ain't just get like a crutch or a cane or something?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
They took your bike for you. That's why I know you can have a bike in there. You valeted the car and valeted the bike. Yo, I ain't gonna lie. I'm coming in with you one day. Look at his face. Look at his face.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Jesus' New Testament. I forgot. Look at this heathen. All right, what else we got? What else we got? George Foreman, y'all, let's talk about, just for a second, we should at least acknowledge the passing of George Foreman. Absolutely. That was a heavy loss for the boxing community and for a lot of other people, man. He was a legend, like a real life.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
There's a generation of people that know him as... The oven man. The grills. The grills, yeah. Even though he ain't own the company at the end. I need that. Yeah, he sold that joint in 99. But... $438 million.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He did just fine. Take these grills. Yo, for real. But George Foreman, to me, is such an interesting dude just because of his journey.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Grill issues aside, in addition to making the shitty grill, he won an Olympic gold medal in boxing at 18. Two-time heavyweight champion. Was known, of course, with Muhammad Ali in the Rumble in the Jungle. I think that was 74. He was a legendary boxer, considered one of the heaviest hitters of all time. And that didn't go away, even when he came back the last time to box. Sure did.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
But the thing that matters to me about George Foreman is, like, a reminder of what life can be. Like, you can literally go from the villain to the hero. And in the 1960s, he was a monster. He was, like, considered, like, evil, especially against Muhammad Ali and others. He was the person that nobody wanted to promote, nobody liked. They said the fans wouldn't like him.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
A fence is a fence, nigga. No, I'm saying 10, you should be able to claim it. It's the same shit. It's the same thing. Mark, Mark. Was it the red one or the black one with the spikes?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He couldn't sell a product because they said he just didn't have the right personality for it. By the time he died, he might be, other than Muhammad Ali, the friendliest, happiest, most loved boxer in American history. He went from the villain to the hero. He went from an orphan to a boxer to a champion to a minister. You can do and be anything in the world.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
If time will wait it out, if you do the work, you can be anything you want. And so for me, that's the Foreman legacy.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
So, like, for example, we used to have, like, around starting in, like, 2010, we had Harry Belafonte. We had Jesse Jackson. We had Minister Farrakhan. We had, you know, anybody that was over a certain age.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
So like when somebody like Kobe, rest in peace, passed away, we didn't have anything because you couldn't foresee that. But for the older people, we definitely had them locked in. It makes sense, right? Well, Harry Belafonte, we had interviews locked up, all that stuff. But then there were some young rappers, because I thought about it because you said rappers. There were rappers who we thought...
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
We're living on the edge that we cared about and loved, and we got worried. When Wayne was having some of the health issues, we made one for him.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And so this generation, just know that there are people in place that are looking at some of these artists out there like we don't know how long they're going to have to make it, if they're on drugs, if they're dealing with gang violence, all these kinds of things. News outlets are waiting.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
No, but your opinion is to think that something that somebody says is crazy. I think he's pandering. No, I don't think he's pandering. Everybody don't see eye to eye freeze. And he lying right now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P PG seg già già già grà già già già grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà ,,,,,,,,.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And then webbing them around. My world just changed drastically. I remember I started doing good in Van Buren. Not Van Buren, Murray Bertram. Hmm. My father is at school by the bridge.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yeah, I was doing good. My mother took me. That's some hating shit, though. And she don't like that. She don't get mad and curse me out. But my father would be right. I agree. Like, you saw her. I was doing bad. You sent me over there. I was doing good. And you took me back. And her reason to my dad is like, no, you told me to take him back because he was joining the Chris.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
My father said, nigga, they have a big argument. I would never tell you that. I like their arguments. That shit fly. But I gave up a lot of trouble, so I feel bad even talking about it. Too much.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Since we was on the sports tip, did y'all see this? Since we're talking about the sports tip, did y'all see this video of this coach? He came out of retirement to coach girls basketball, women's basketball, whatever. White power.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And he was disciplining his players, and he just yanked a ponytail. Hey, man. He just yanked a ponytail. I saw the video. The old school coach is crazy. He yanked the white girl's ponytail.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about like stepping on them violent situations.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Did he apologize? No, that nigga didn't apologize. He should apologize, right? I'm sorry, coach. What? That shit was normal.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yeah, they did. They understood and, oh, it's just a coach. Don't worry about it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I'm all right. You were ice now. This nigga missed the whole fucking moment. You ever let him come back and be a factor? Last year, I was three times part of the moment. And on top of that, I don't subject to their theories. To their voting system, right? Shout out to them. I don't fuck with them. Nigga, and I stand on that. Shout out to them motherfuckers.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yeah, let's talk about you getting slapped now. Salute to the fans.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Well, they tried to, and I had to fight with one of them, nigga, in the street in the snow. And then when I had to fight, him and Marv jumped me on Dunkirk, nigga. I always fought back. It's documented.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Ribs broke. But one thing everybody say about you is that you were consistent.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Grass whooping your ass. I'm fucked up right now, yeah. You too? Nigga, our whole face fucked up. I can't breathe.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You didn't look fucked up last night, man. Some pollen pussy show, nigga.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
What? Yes, girls talk. And y'all listen? Y'all be entertaining conversations? Bro, y'all talking to him, motherfucker.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Nigga, you supposed to move on from the topic. Right.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You still hurting. I see you saying dwell on a combo. I laugh. I laugh. He be like, how small? I would never have a combo.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Tell me. Niggas turn to journalists and shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Nigga, Kanye said in his motherfucking monkey that- Hey, yo, now I think that- I kind of believe you when you said that a nigga might have got a BBL, nigga. Like, get in his car. You said- Kanye Wildin.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
It's supposed to come on at 10 a.m., 10 p.m. Oh, okay. But it was Sex Night in the Hill House. And I was like, you know what? These nights, when you're married, these things don't come across as often as you might think. Sex Night in the Hill House. That's what I did?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I'm telling you, nigga. When I started, you keep cutting me off. And that's my problem.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You consistently do it. Them niggas talk. You look, oh, what you say, Dr. Mark? Flip talk. Do that again.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yeah. Your worst enemy is who, your uncle? You kidding me? My name ain't Ish.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
What's your Muslim name? My worst enemy... Dude tried to stab me. He still around?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He still around. I seen him... That, about two years ago in Philly. Did he try to stab you again? Nah, he didn't see me. Oh, you hid from that. You made sure that nigga didn't see you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yo, wait there, nigga, play dead. What are you doing?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Free, that's the doctor. See? He's in my life. He said play dead. You fucking hooligan. He's in my living.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Watch out my ass. I ain't never been smacked.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
We got into a fight. The fight ended however it ended. I think I got the best of him. The next time I saw him, he tried to stab me. And then after that, to me, after it was over, it was over. I started thinking... A year and a half later? I wouldn't even think about it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
That's what I'm saying. It's another reason I tell you off air, but. You pop this baby mama. Yeah, I was going to say, it's a chick in there somewhere. That's a chick down in there somewhere. Oh, it wasn't his baby mama, it was just his girl. It had nothing to do with a woman. What, taxes, nigga? You was doing your taxes shit again? It had nothing to do. I'll tell you off air.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
It ain't that deep, but. Okay. Yeah, and after that, yeah, you know. I'm sure it's done now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
It go down anywhere, nigga. That's the worst enemy. They don't give a fuck. I mean, they may make you pass if you with your children and your family, but it's on.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And they didn't hurt you that much? I mean, like physically. Did they physically hurt you? No, nigga.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And not willing to... Make amends with people if it's not that bad.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I hear you. You a good dude, too. I try to learn. Learn how to forgive, nigga. Forgive and love shit, because a lot of times it should be misunderstood over something light, something small.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Money, even if it's money or something like that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
we still think you're masculine you can hug
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Oh, shit. Just remember that, Joe. Nigga, real quick. My wife just pressed me about that, too. Nigga, I cut my hair. Just because I cut my hair short, you trying to say you're not...
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He always trying to distract and deflect when it comes to talking about love. We love you, bro. I love you, nigga. You know what I'm saying?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You're uncomfortable around love. What are things that could be, what are things that happen to you that no one could come back from? In your mind. Hugs. Is it money? Money, family.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
But is the fuck shit clear as day? Because the person could feel like you should be held accountable as well.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I know what time that means. I am breaking. I'm not breaking shit down. I agree only to an extent.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Flip is saying something. A lot of times, a lot of things that I did to people, it weighed on me, nigga. So I went on an apology tour, nigga. I made right with a lot of the Flip the Network people, just a lot of people that I wronged. Even if they wronged me, I looked at my part that I played in it and said, yo, I apologize for that shit. I apologize how I made you feel.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I apologize for even putting you in a position. Regardless if it's clear as day that they were wrong, I have to clear my soul. Gotcha. Me. Now, Ice, it sounds like you're different. Are you saying even if they did that, at some point they still did that?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
It was something in the air. That's why he's watching night school. I know, exactly. Pollen was in the air.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
No, I didn't. I'm just saying. Me neither. Me neither. I never went back to that. Go back to it and listen to it now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I changed it already. That's a fact. No, I'm with y'all.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
You're not married. You're running away from marriage. When you get married, nigga, you can talk. You're not married. Get him, Flip. Get him. Yo, put that thing away. It's the niggas that's married that's talking about it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Next year around this time, second quarter, you're going to be smiling like a motherfucker.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
,,,,,, in P P P P P P P P P ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P Gobra gener laст gener sol grст gener sol gruw gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair gi hair g hair gi hair gi hair gi hair g h h in a in a in a in h in h in h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h in P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
He helped you out. Come on. He helped you out. He said it wasn't corporate. He just had a time. He was assistant to the regional manager.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
And that's the problem. The American Mall has failed.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Don't try to circumvent and go to... This nigga's a nutcase, yo. Keep that ass. It's just so gross. All right, yo, you bring it up.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I seen it before it happened, boy. He made you, nigga. He made you, nigga. You know what I mean? He made you. He played you. He made you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I'm not, I'm just, it changes. You're a porn star.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yo, this nigga's was, yo, yo, bro, what is wrong with you, yo?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
World War II. World War II happens in 1939 after the rise of Nazis. Yeah, yeah. After the rise of Nazis. And World War I was what? 1914 to 1918. That was over a few things, but part of it was the... Invasion, right?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Oh, never mind. Don't do that. I'm not knocking the surface. No, no, my cousin got killed in the military. He got shot in the neck. He did. No, what? No. Let's not laugh at this. You got to acknowledge some shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
This is a traumatic issue for Fliss. I think we should mock it. It's not traumatic. My cousin got killed in Iraq.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Yo, take a mental health day, man. I promise y'all. It's not Memorial Day yet. Y'all don't have to say nothing else. I'm like, ish, nigga. I take 15 mental health day, nigga. There you go. You going to give me one? As long as I still get my spanky, I'm good.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Shut up. Don't talk about it. All right, let me see.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I am the people. You be for the women. Ladies. You know, women are people. Let me tell you something. Oh, shit. Let me tell you something. Get out of there, Flip. I don't give a fuck. They can attack me. I want that. It's the only nigga that don't like it. You don't either. Why? Tell me what to say right now. I'll say it for you, nigga. And I'm standing there, nigga.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
I make me, too. Oh, yeah. Cool as fuck, too. Share with the world, Ish.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
It's dirty. You know where the orange be at? You eat the beer?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
Y'all be trying to get niggas in trouble over here. What's up with y'all? And he had the bike to the side.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 811 | "Blood In the Water"
That should be the episode cover. Look at the bike, yo.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah. Rolling Stone is usually pretty credible with vetting sources. That's what I'll say. Usually. Usually. And I don't have any reason to think it's not real. But who knows? They released it and he's on audio. acknowledging that he aggressed, that's the language he used, his former girlfriend.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And she said, you, she named like three things he did, like you grabbed me, you choked me, all these things, and he was like, that was all covered under aggressed. Which is a little bit of a snarky take where you're apologizing for being violent to somebody. And for a lot of people, that was not a smoking gun. Confirmation?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, but confirmation of what he'd been accused of, and a lot of people had been running for him saying he didn't do anything He's innocent. He's being framed. He sort of understated what he did, and this audio kind of changes that. The timing of it is interesting to me. Yes, I'm saying. The why of it is interesting.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, right. So I wonder if somebody said, look, I have this trump card, and I'm going to wait until he's revived again to do it. Because if you dump that all at once— he can then recover from it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That part I don't know. I didn't see a source or like an allegation of a source, so I don't know. But I'm genuinely curious about the timing of it. But regardless of the timing of it, if he did it, people have a right to play that card whenever they want. So I'm not defending it, but it is interesting to think about the strategic nature of maybe the release.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
There's some people in Hollywood who don't want Jonathan Majors to win, whether you agree with him or not. It's true. It's been very clear. I've heard this on camera, and I've heard this behind the scenes. There are people who feel very strongly about him, honestly, in ways that they don't about other actors personally. or producers who have done similar things or worse things.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So I'm curious to know the why of that as well. What's the reason, yeah. And I don't think it's just him being black. I mean, that's part of it. But I know even black people who have been able to recover from it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And I've seen both. I've seen people who just walk with dignity and have a commitment to what they want.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Right. But I've also worked with assholes. I mean, I could tell you... I mean, just a good example is VH1. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Worked with. Nobody appears like that, honestly. I mean... Most everybody here is great. And those who aren't, God is still working on them.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
You trying to put that on us or your homegirl? I said us. Us. We don't say that. Other people have said it to us. I was the last one to use the phrase. And I meant to use it to double up on it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's really like, I was thinking about VH1, where when I would work, particularly on certain reality shows where I could see a lot of the cast was dope, and some people who on camera were called hard to work with, behind the scenes they really were hard to work with. You can always tell by who the camera people fuck with.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
When the camera people be like, yo, fuck him.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That's always a very good, I always believe them. Because that's who will get the brunt of the bad behavior. And so I don't know if Jonathan Majors is good to work with, easy to work with, or hard to work with, but that narrative is probably connected to somebody feeling strongly about him, and that could play into this.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So I don't know, but I do know that this timing isn't good for Jonathan Majors.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's all about reminding the public of why they shouldn't like you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Care, then it's over. He's able to finally move on and not have this thing hanging behind him. Because he may have known that audio was there the whole time and be constantly afraid of when it's going to get released. And I'm not trying to cape for Jonathan Majors. Again, whatever he did, he should have accountability.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Right, exactly. And that's actually the problem. He should be held accountable. He should, whatever. But it seems to me he has been held accountable.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, but if somebody lost a parent and had to deal with that, that very thing, I mean, you could see how that would be a trigger point.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, but that's why somebody will be tight. And what about you?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Hold on, let me get that in. Me? Yeah. I'm sure I am too. I would apologize too, but I would understand why somebody would be tight with me.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
This is the most immature cast in the world.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And I thought that was a great apology, man. One of the best I ever heard. Seriously. It was.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It was sincere. It was from the heart. It was beautiful. It's true. Accepted accountability. That was wonderful.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I thought she was right. You gotta do that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I don't have the, it was soon after, but I don't have the exact date or time table, like how far after, but yeah. I mean, because sometimes saying I aggress allows you to gloss over what you actually did. Got it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That was a slam, buddy. Coming back soon. I'm going old school. This is the 30th anniversary of The Roots' Do You Want More album. Okay. I'm coming with Solid Treatment. Regular version? Hey!
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So it is, baby. Get into the bag. My wife out of town. I sent her up for a retreat, a little spa for five days. So I'm rocking solo with me and the boy. Got it, got it, got it. Got it. That sounds like a good time. How you doing?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I could live state, huh? Nah, none of that New York shit, though. Maybe Pace. Oh, my God. Hilarious. Shout out to Pace. That was a shot. Wow, man. That was a shot. No disrespect to Pace.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
What do you think about that? I think it's a beautiful day outside. It is a beautiful day. I love you, Mel. How you doing today? You good?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Love you, Flip. How you doing, brother? I'm doing well. I'm doing well.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I went to a middle school basketball game. That was it. I may have been warned once to not yell at the refs. They were asking for it. The refs? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you just can't not call a walk. They were in middle school. I'm sorry. They were nine.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, but you got to call them both. He didn't call me in the middle of the game. I was like, yo, I'm at the game. These refs are fucking up. He's like, don't get kicked out of a little kid game. I didn't get kicked out, per se. That would be embarrassing. But I did get a warning. I got a stern warning.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
My thing is just call a double dribble. No. No. They're not. They can barely handle the ball.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
We was jumping up and down, screaming. My man ran out the door. You know what I mean? When the game gets tight. It's fun. It's fun to watch.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Signs in the pom-poms and all that stuff. Act a full ass out there. Yeah. Only me. Get them a little nervous. Just a little.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
What's important? We're talking about living and dying. You came in here and had me think Mariah Carey was dead. Oh, my God. You made my heart stop.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Is that a bad place to start? I'm rolling. No, let's go. He's like, all this shit was on the board. First of all, all y'all was somber. He wearing black, you wearing black, you wearing black. I'm thinking I missed some shit because I had some emergency today. I come in, you're like, write the Mariah tribute on the board. I'm thinking Mariah died or got hit by a bus or something.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's not just you. It's everybody. I get it. Yeah, but you don't help.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
A lot of hate. You asked me what I thought about that. I had a chance. Because I said, damn. I said, I didn't know I had a shot all that time.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
My agent, my lawyer, my attorneys. So, get with the home team, baby. Oh, really? So you only, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That means she's too old or she's not in the condition she would be to meet Ian's standards of sex. She's not prime no more. With superstars. And Joe said, which sounds ridiculous now as it did before.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
OK, OK, OK. When I was single, I liked my chances with just about everybody. There we go. There we go. With a very small list. Big Mark. Talk that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Stop it. No, no. Let me put that. We're just lying. No, no, no. That's not what I mean.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I never saw that. No, that's not what I mean. I mean, like, I've been friends with two people that she's dated. Pretty good friends with one of them. Got it. She's in the category of, like, that's my man's girl. So I just didn't think about, like, having a shot. I mean, she's. I don't think about having a shot.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
You have to call your friends out when they're lying. How do you know he's lying? Because I've never hung out with Ian one day in my life, and I guarantee you he's had at least three nights. A very unmemorable, regrettable. Fuck mid. I ain't talking about mid. Below mid. Reggie.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
No, I think you should. I think you absolutely should.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I think you should have a black lawyer. Why don't you have a black lawyer?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
What are you talking about? Don't call double dribble.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It just worked out that way. Same thing. Honestly, it just worked out that way. When I went into William Morris' endeavor, I would have happily... Don't be shouting at your people.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yes. And then Corey was like, well, that's Luther. And it's also personal. They're friends anyway.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
She might have liked it. It's hard to hear somebody else do your song. You know what I mean? And always love it. You know what I mean? I've seen people do Aretha. Aretha keeps a steady face. Yeah, she be tight. But Aretha's just like Prince. Madonna did that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Right. Some tributes are good. Obviously, Bob Marley wasn't allowed for his tribute, but the Rita Marley, the I-Tree, all of them loved it. Some of the renditions, they loved Lauren doing Turn Your Lights Down Low. Yes, they did, yes. They loved Erica and Ziggy Marley doing their joint. They loved Queen Latifah doing No More Trouble. There's some people who did it well.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I bought mine, so it don't matter. Huh? That's what I heard.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I've seen Fantasia do it. Fantasia did Patti well.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And that's like her niece. Again, that's a love thing. Also, she's got that register.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, and they both like to holler. They both hit notes but holler. It's a style thing. It's a good fit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Janelle Monáe was in a bunch of them. Yeah. She just has to do it. I think you guys got to have an ear for what sounds like. Remember when... Look, we hot about this. Remember when Babyface did his Tiny Desk and he had people sing the songs that he wrote? He didn't match stars. He matched voices. Yeah, he did. So he had Shantae Moore singing Superwoman. So that was perfect.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
She might have even improved on the Karen White version. I love Karen White's version, right? They had somebody do Can We Talk? They had Tank sing. Tank can sing his fucking face off. Tank can sing anybody under the table. Tank should be doing these tributes. Get the voices that match.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I do have a black doctor. I have a black woman doctor and a black woman dentist. Oh, yeah. Big choice.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Even if they're not the hottest name at the top of the billboard right today, get legends or get people who can sing great.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But Joe, you never answered your own question. Which was? Who would get you on the ground crying the way you said I was for Mariah? If somebody died.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Oh, we never even got to that point. Who would be the people that would get y'all doing that?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
The people who are crying for Luther and for even Michael, like... They were younger. Michael was younger than Mariah is now, right?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, Michael's 50. Mariah got to be in the mid-50s.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Boy, first of all, just like you, remember you said in sixth grade you got Vision of Love, from there to the Emancipation. I don't know anything after Emancipation and Mimi, but I was grown as hell when that came out. So from there to there, I had every album. I used to love that Dream Lovin' video. And if you stopped a career, that's a classic. She's 55, not 57. That's a classic career.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Classic career, regardless. Yeah, but as a kid, I had a crush on Mariah. I mean, legend, not classic, but legacy. Yeah, she's the top of the top. I mean, for me, it would be her, Janet Jackson. There's a few people that would get me upset. Janet Jackson, I get. Yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But that's very different from 78. Understand what I mean? I'm saying the same. It's like in the NBA, right? Janet? No more either.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
In NBA, some people are max contract people, right? LeBron's a max guy. AD is a max guy. They not the same, but they both in that same top tier. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying that when I talk about Mariah and I talk about Janet, there's a top tier of people who I would be fucked up if they die. That don't mean they all the same in that same tier. Got it, got it, got it. That's all I'm saying.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And this is where Joe is full of shit. Last episode of Patreon said he was in his mirror with a hairbrush singing Vision of Love and Someday in sixth grade. Yeah, that's the shit that should have you crying.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Which one was it? I said it was Love Takes Time. Love Takes Time. Oh, yeah, if you singing that, yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I'm with you, but... Anthony Bourdain... I mean... I just... I didn't see what was going on. I mean... I knew Anthony Bourdain. We worked together. We shared desk space sometimes. I didn't cry. Flex if you want to. No, no, I'm not flexing. I'm just saying, like... It was the suddenness of it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Thank you. I wasn't devastated. I was sad, though. I was sad.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Anthony Bourdain was sad to me because of how he died.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Prince... Really? Who would fuck you up? One? Yeah, like a big kid. Larry Davidson? Like the way I had that Mariah moment. You said Larry Davidson? Hov. I got a list.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
See, I don't even look at their faces. Mark, Mark, Mark. Not today, Mark. He's a happily married man. Not today, Mark.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
When I'm looking for a doctor, I don't look to see if she bad or not, because like that... Yes, you do. Nah. Yes, you do. Not for a doctor. Yes, you do.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Hard to tell with a little sweepy sweep. Yeah, that sweepy sweep is fucking it up. No, that nigga is saying who's in the streets in the song.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
He's saying who's in the streets. It sounds a little like a cruise to me, too. I hear what you're saying.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
He's fucking up the plan right now. Paul George, we're trying to be losing now, and now they want to win. Actually, you know what?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That would be amazing. That's so interesting.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, I know. Rather than having his house destroyed, he would rather get beat up. The choice is between getting your ass beat and getting your house...
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, when I get to the office. Meaning you have like a vascular reaction? I'm not choosing her based on that, but when I get there, I notice, yeah. Okay, yeah. But I ain't looking for, whereas there are some jobs where I want to know how they look.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Thank you, man. There's Alice and Betty. Alice beat Betty's ass. Betty then went to Alice's house and tore it down. Do you want to be Alice or do you want to be Betty?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Hold on. There are seven people in this room. We all understand it. Is it possible we're on the right side of this?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
You're being willful here, too. Seven people did not agree. Three did. Raise your hand if you agree that what he's saying makes sense, whether you agree with him or not. It makes sense now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Rasputia. No, nigga. Wow. You know how she look. But certain jobs you do care. You want your agent to be attractive.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I love that special. I need to watch it. I love that special.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, for sure. I didn't know you could do that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
If I don't know them, it's like a day, a day or two. And then the funeral.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I told you I knew, so I was upset. I'm still upset about it. But like Michael Jackson, it was more like that day. Then I anchored the funeral and I cried. Like during the funeral, when Stevie started singing. Stevie sang I Never Dreamed You Leave It in the summer. We was all fucked up. Can you pull that mic close to you? Oh, I'm sorry. You ain't but 5'4". Get close to the damn mic.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, something like that. A lot of times it would be the tragedy of it. Don't be that the person meant that much to you. You know what I mean? It'd be like, Kobe, even if you didn't love basketball and you didn't know him, it's still something about somebody at that age dying and messing your head up. Same thing with Michael Jackson for me.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That was a good one. I didn't cry. Damn, I didn't cry for that one. Now that you mention it. I was at a funeral too. I didn't cry, but I was sad. You went to a lot of funerals. Now I feel like an asshole. Yeah, I probably shouldn't. Mark be trying to get booked at niggas' funerals.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
to speak i was trying which means right you know as a journalist you gotta go i go to a lot of funerals to cover them and then i end up just going and staying so like we went i went to south africa for his it was it was it was amazing you know it was so amazing you almost didn't have time to be sad because there's so much partying and so much traveling and all of that stuff it wasn't he laid in state so you went to like 12 cities like to follow him be dead but anyway yo thank god for technology
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Oh, yeah. That happened to me. And spend some money. I was not in my family. My sister died. I think I was in one picture. No, I was in no pictures, as a matter of fact. They had cousins, aunties, fucking tutors.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I like seeing it before it starts. Yeah, yeah, the wake. So like when my dad died, the night before you go, you look at him, you know, say your goodbyes or whatever. The next day, I don't feel the need to see him again.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Oh, hell no. Yeah, you just don't get to see them. To me, you just don't get to see them. I mean, some people like to kiss the body goodbye and all of that stuff.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's called made, though. You know about it, right, man? Mm-hmm. If you're in misery, I think people are right to die with dignity. I think people should make their own choices. We got to get a call.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's their life. It's their life. They're the one in pain.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I'm selfish. Stay in excruciating pain so that I can get that for me one time.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
He's like, I get paid for episodes. I'm not leaving here until Wednesday morning.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Y'all don't go getting out. The only thing I would say, on a serious note... On a serious note, though, as you think about... And I'm only saying it because we talked about this, like... Sometimes people, elderly people get depressed and they don't know what they want or they think they want one thing and they want something else.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Terminal patients is one thing and I think people have a right to die with dignity. But I know like with my father, they told us he was dying. They said he got a couple weeks, you know, just stop feeding him. Huh? Wait, what? Yeah, they said like the feed, because he didn't, basically he didn't want to eat anymore. And so they said... You can put it through a feeding tube or not.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And so I said, my other brothers bounced. They were left. They didn't want to do it. They had me do it. I'm the youngest. And I said, hey, do you want to? You're going to throw in Frasier. Yo, Frasier.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yo, Frasier's like, hey, you got this. So I went and I was like, yo, do you want us to keep doing the feeding tube or not? And he was like, I think I'm okay if I don't have the feeding tube. And I said, I won't be upset with you. I won't be hurt if you're ready to go. If you don't want the feeding tube, it's okay. He said, let him go.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
About two days later, as we were starting to do that, the doctor said, let's give him one more thing for his appetite. It's an appetite inducer, but it's also antidepressant. He took it and it turned out after he took the appetite inducer, not only did he want to eat, but he felt better and didn't want to die anymore. I came back two weeks later because I traveled to San Antonio. I was on standby.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I came back two weeks later and we had moved into a transitional home because my mom didn't want to die at home. And... he was fucking up two plates of food. He was killing it. And he had gained like 10, 15 pounds. He looked like himself again. And it was the fact that the appetite inducer was actually also anti-depressant.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I found out that a lot of elderly people are depressed and will be like, fuck it, like let me go. Because of the mood they're in. That's not negating what you're saying, which is when you're terminally ill and you're in pain, that's different. My dad was just depressed. And knowing the difference between those two things is important.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Oh, man. All right. What do you got for us? We waiting on him. Sometime you got to double up on him. That was a really good excuse. I was impressed. You try to put it on us, though. I got to get him. That was nigga level of.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I'm telling y'all now in front of everybody, don't do that shit for me. Keep me alive no matter what.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Nigga, hook me to the car charger. I don't give a fuck what you got to do to figure out how to keep me alive. I don't care if I'm in pain. They'll figure something out. They'll find something new. It's not for me, but I respect everybody else's wishes.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I want to be a burden. These niggas been a burden on me a long time.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Look, baby, sometimes I just got double up on you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But it's scary out there. I could go for a Drake album if he's just rapping. I hate the singing shit, but if he actually is just spitting bars, I could go for a Drake album.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And you don't think this UMG lawsuit is going to hem that up at all? It doesn't have to. Yeah, he'll find a way.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
As of now, no. I have kind of clocked out of this as well. Got it. I think UMG's game was to get this dismissed out of hand early, and they didn't dismiss it. It's still moving forward. Yeah. But I still think that it's not going to, I don't know if he'll be successful.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It doesn't seem like he's going to be successful based on what the legal expert, I'm not a legal expert, but that's what they're saying.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
No, I was shaking my head at how niggas always think somebody didn't do it. Yeah, when y'all say... Hey, I'm sorry. I like that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So he might have actually executed it, you're saying, but just might not have been his plan. He's like a useful idiot. He was a tool.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Because early on, people were saying, oh, that wasn't really him. Like, he wasn't the guy. Like, it was a mistaken identity. All this crazy, like, scandal shit. And I'm like, I don't believe that. I think he did just what it looked like. He pulled out a gun and shot somebody on broad daylight. And then got on a city bike and left. Mm-hmm. And went to McDonald's. Exactly.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I get confused. I don't remember, to be honest.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I'm more suspicious of that one. I think he did it too, but I'm more suspicious of that one.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Oh, shit. I feel like a lot of people feel that way because of how he looks.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
What else is important, unimportant? What were we just talking about? Some good news for all of y'all. If you're thinking about sending your kids to Harvard, it's now free. Well, y'all make too much money, but it's free for anybody who makes under $200,000. Any families that make under $200,000 a year, your children now have free tuition at Harvard. What's the catch?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
If you can get in. Oh, shit. Shade. A little bit. A fucking little bit. Wow. Wow. Not to you. Not to you, Mel. I'm saying, somebody asked, what's the catch? That's the catch. Yeah, that's the catch. It's not like more people can get. They ain't accepting you niggas. Right. Most people who get into Harvard already make more than $200,000. Yes. There's a class component to it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So it doesn't really make Harvard that much more accessible.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, like rich people get into Harvard more than poor people. Poor people rarely get into Harvard. So it's not like they lowered the bar. And it's interesting because the right-wingers On the internet last night and all on TV, we're talking about this is awful. This is more DEI. This is letting unworthy people. It doesn't change the standards at Harvard. If you can get into Harvard, you can go.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It just means poor people don't have to pay, which I think is a great thing. I think it's great, too. I just would like to see the numbers. I just think we need to not do it at Harvard because who gives a fuck? I mean, do it at the state college. Do it at the local college. Do it at a place where people are actually getting in. Don't do it at a place where Harvard only lets in 3% of all applicants.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So, who cares? There might be 10 poor people who get a free ride now. That's all. If that. If that. This is just a headline to sound good. Right. That's it, yeah. Yeah, it sounds good. That's it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But it don't do shit for you. And nobody who was going to Harvard, who wasn't going to Harvard, is now going to Harvard.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
who's how many what percent is that gonna apply to again almost nobody and again to your point if you make 125 and you get in free but you gotta pay room and board room and board is a lot of fucking money it is so you still gotta come up with cash out of pocket so it's tough so anyways it's an interesting announcement but I want y'all to just look underneath the headline and realize it doesn't mean much we should be fighting for free public education for everybody agreed and you know they ain't doing that all right
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get out of there. You feel what? I'm learning when to pivot.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
What's the name we got good again? I assume that was Night Two.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That's what I want to see. Night One sounds amazing. I'm old. I want Night Two. I mean, the big time is I want to see all that too, but I just feel like I've seen them do their reunion thing now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's unethical. I mean, here's my thing. If you and I sign a deal and it's a bad deal, you just got to hold that L, right? But what I'm hearing her say and other artists say is sometimes they're dishonest even in the context of the deal we signed. Like they actually don't do what they say they're going to do.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And it's only when we do forensic accounting, it's only when we dig deeper that we realize they didn't give us the money. But the problem is the artist is so broke, they can't afford to fight for the thing they actually deserve. I'm with you. If you sign a bad deal and you don't like the deal, yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But what I hear a lot of artists say is that these labels are stealing their money and they know we don't have enough money to prove it. That's the part I think is fucked up.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Both can be true, though, right? I mean, like, you made a bad choice, but it's still predatory.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That's all I'm saying. It's a predatory system. It is. They go to people who don't have many choices.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And they pray on your desperation and lack of knowledge. I remember, I wasn't here, but I remember watching when Jadakiss was here with his father and Jawan, and they were talking about this.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Interestingly enough, he ended up with a bad boy deal that ended up being tracked. Even after that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And it turned out to be a bad deal. The problem is for me, some people don't have that knowledge and just make their own choice. A lot of people take that first deal not knowing any better. And that's what I have issue. If everybody ended up in that second deal, that's on you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So I guess that's what I'm saying. I hate that people are making bad choices, but I do got smoke for the companies, too, because they could not do that, and they could still make a lot of money without fucking everybody over.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But there's a huge gap between exploiting the shit out of everybody and making deals so generous that your company can't sustain itself. There's a middle ground. I agree. Even just like slightly fucked up.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But it's also not about being smart. This is what I say. If, just to use Joe's example, if Joe came in here and paid all of us exactly half of what he pays, whatever that number is, right? A lot of us, a lot of us, that would be fucked up. But a lot of us might be in a position where we can't leave.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And he can just say that's business. Let me ask you a question.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
MC Hammer buying 30 cars and a whole lot of dancers, right? That's generosity. A company not exploiting you is not, Universal is not being generous by paying people what they owe or by not extracting all the labor from somebody and giving them just the slightest amount to keep them on board. That's not generosity.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And I think part of how the system is fucked up is we act like they're doing us a favor by paying us what's ours.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
We use a lot of words wrong. I just... I make a list and every once in a while. And that's fucked up. I feel like once a month I'll intervene. You're not down to help us? Like today's word is y'all say willfully obtuse all the time. Obtuse means to be willfully sort of not understanding. It's redundant to say willfully obtuse. But everybody says it all the time. It drives me crazy.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I don't want to compare that to generosity. I don't want to compare Universal to the rapper who just came out to projects and is buying all his homies chains. That ain't the same shit. You know what I'm saying? They owe us. They owe us. I'm saying us like corporations owe everyday people. They do. Yeah. So to me, that's the difference.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, nah, it don't. But that's what he's been doing the whole time.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I think he's not. I mean, it could be. I think that's true, and I think he's not well, and he just does shit. I remember he was on Drink Champs calling Diddy a fed, and fuck Diddy, and tweeting crazy shit about Diddy. And then just last night, he's on Instagram telling them that he's like a father to him.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's wild. And then, you know, Diddy called him last night or the last day or two, and Shea Room had an exclusive on it, and they played the whole audio call. Wow. And it's weird. First of all, I think Puff called Ye because he wanted to talk to Ye. I don't think Puff knew that Ye was going to be putting it on the internet.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Like, I can't imagine calling somebody from prison, being this private, not doing no interviews, and suddenly wanting my whole conversation in public.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Word. Nah, I wouldn't say nothing to him. And Puff didn't say nothing to him. Crazy. But he was just talking to him, clearly in what seemed like a private moment. And he was trying to give Ye this pep talk. He was like, you know, the system is wicked, wicked, wicked. That's the only thing he said about himself. Kind of like, as if the wicked system is why he's in jail.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
As if, like, he did nothing wrong and it's just a wicked system. But then on top of that, he was trying to give Ye the pep talk. Like, you got to get back on stage. We need you rocking mics again. We need you cutting samples again. I need the old Ye back. And Ye was just like, yes, sir. He was very, like, deferential and, like,
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
mature in the conversation and then he was like you've been like a father to me even before I met you you raised me you know and it was all it was like a love fest with Puff and then on Twitter he's doing the opposite he's tearing down Kim he's tearing down Jim Jones he's tearing down all these people so I it seems like he's on another rant like Flip said and I don't know if it's because the album is out if it's a mental health thing if it's all the above I don't know but I ain't gonna lie sometimes it gets addictive I can't stop watching I'm the opposite I don't wanna watch it again complete opposite
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Because you up already, so you feel like he trying to like. Did he say that when he was a billionaire? Yeah, two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. God ain't finished your broke ass.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah. If you're fighting to get your kid on Diddy's album... That's crazy. I feel like that's a sign right there that you're not capable of making good choices.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I would approve the vote. But the point is, I think she has a right to say, as a parent, I don't think that's a good look.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Her and Ye going back. And then Ye also was making it like a race thing, too. Like, now a white woman is controlling.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Isn't this... First, he needs to knock off that white woman shit. First of all, when he was with her... Yeah, you married her. Right. First of all, she wasn't white when you was fucking her, right? Right. Well... No, no, no. He wasn't claiming her as white.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
The claim wasn't that she was white. You know how black people are. She's Italian. She's Armenian. They find all kinds of shit to say she ain't white. Now, obviously, he ain't fucking with her. She white again. Yes, nigga. But also, you made a choice. If you choose to have a child with a white woman, then yes, a white woman is going to control what your children do. That's the choice you made.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
There's a lot of different things we can find depressing in here. You pivoted this story you were about to tell us something about.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That was beautiful. I didn't think so. I'm just... I'm trying new ways to rap. I'm trying some new techniques. How was that one?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That was beautiful. Workshopping some things, yeah. Yeah. All right, you got it. I don't want to drain your life. You got it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I put hope in it. I mean, I agree with y'all on the kids in the future. But I also, like, I think part of why I was an activist and part of why I do the work I do is because I actually believe the world can be better than we found it. Against all evidence to the contrary. Because the world looks like it's going to be fucked up and it's only going to get worse. But I've seen struggles get won.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I mean, just in the last 10 years, or the last 20 years, you've seen marriage equality. People thought that would never happen. It could be something as simple as legalizing weed. I remember when people said that could never happen, and now you can buy weed everywhere. The world can be so different in 24 hours or 12 months or 20.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So I always look to the victories and be like, we could change some other shit. We could change so people could get housing. We could change so people could get healthcare. We could change so people aren't oppressed anymore. People could get their land back. We could do shit if we organize. That's my hope. I don't always act on the hope.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Sometimes I get caught up in the day-to-day just wanting to eat or hope my team makes the playoffs or hope that so-and-so is... I hope that Aaron Rodgers don't come to the Steelers.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah, that ain't... I got hope, goddammit. Yeah, that's a good hope. But, like, there's other shit we can hope for. So, like, that's what keeps me energized. That's what keeps me going.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And the work fuels the hope. Like the more you work, the more you be like, oh, this shit is winnable. Like this is a winnable fight. It's a hard fight, but it's a winnable fight. That's why we say hope and not optimism. Optimism is just like everything's going to be all right. It'll just work out. Hope is against the odds. And you got to be engaged in that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And you got to actually know it's fucked up. The odds are against me, but I can still win.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That's the regret. That is regret. But the nostalgia part is sometimes thinking the past was better than it was. Like really remembering, oh, back then everything was fine. Everything probably wasn't fine.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Sometimes when you do enough trash shit on your own, you can't worry that much about what somebody else is doing. Sam Cooke did a lot of trash shit. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't know that. Read Aretha Franklin's biography. That's all I'm going to say.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I'll just say Sam Cooke, and it wasn't just him. First of all, the R&B circuit and the gospel circuit were two of the freakiest places ever. The gospel circuit was like, they was orgies and all kinds of shit, right? That's still kind of true about the gospel. Is this Aretha's book? Yeah, read David Rich's book on Aretha. That's even better. That's the one that has all the good shit in it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Send me the link. I'll send you the link. But Ruth Frank had a baby at 12, not by Sam Quick, but by somebody else. But Sam was getting down with a lot of R&B singers when they were 13, 14, 15 years old. So that's part of why he ain't noticed what was going on in his own household. Oh. Yeah, I don't know about that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
And it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. They was nasty back then, man. Fair. And we'll make songs about it. That's the ill part. Remember Roberta Flack's song, Jessie? You know it's for Jesse Jackson. No, I did not. Jesse come home. This bed is one. Yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Fuck that. No, he said Roberta told him that. I asked if that was true. Roberta told him. I read it and then I asked if it was true. I don't mind saying it since she's passed away. Rest in peace.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
He was getting away from that Dr. King. But to your point, you know who one of Jesse's background singers was in the 70s? I mean, who Roberta's background singers was in the 70s and 80s? One of Jesse's daughters. Same thing, it's a lot of... Cross-pollinating. Yeah, cross-pollinating. That's a good word.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It's all after. Anything you know about Jesse Jackson is probably after. Because King died in 68. This was 70, whatever.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But I said I wouldn't say anything about it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Healing your lips? Oh, but that's different.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Yeah. Jesse was a mentor. The first time I went to Africa was with Jesse Jackson. He took me to Africa. So if you knew anything, you wouldn't kick his back in right now?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
But there's nothing to know because he's been perfect except for the public scandals. Oh. Yep.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
He had a boat. No boats, no islands, nothing. I'm good.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
It was a couple reasons. Part of it was in the middle of... We weren't allowed to go. It was basketball season. We weren't allowed to go. And also, it was... I had some... ideological issues with it, you know what I mean, at the time. I wish I had gone now, in retrospect. I wish I had gone.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I still had the same issues. The issues I did, I have now, but I would have gone just to be part of history. Okay, so you still ain't fucking with it? A million people marching against it. Like, marches are supposed to be... Marches is supposed to be for a thing, right? The March on Washington was the March on Washington for jobs and freedom. You know what I'm saying? In 63.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Like you march and protest a system. To me, you march against your oppressor. You march against a power structure. I didn't like the idea of a million black men getting together to march against themselves. For me, I thought that I would have marched for structural things. I would have marched for systemic things. I would have been fighting for power.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
I understood Farrakhan's argument, and I don't think he's wrong. I just would have organized the march differently.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
No, I've expressed that to him directly. Ooh. And, um... No, it's not flat. It's not flat. I told him.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Very impressive. Make sure that you're clear. Yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Shout out to everybody who was a part of Million Man March.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
So you would have organized it differently, would you say? Yeah. Yeah, I would have organized it differently. But I love the idea of us coming together in a spirit of love and tradition. I mean, to get a million people, a million plus on that mall was amazing. That's nice, bro. It was a beautiful sight. Holy shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Let me depress y'all and then jump out. You double-dutch with seriousness. Do you have any hope, guys? And then we're like, no. And he's like, this is too fucking depressing. Yeah, then you crack jokes. Yeah, that's bipolar.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
That's the most embarrassing thing that could probably happen, other than actually shitting on yourself.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 809 | "Willfully Obtuse"
Would you be humiliated from that? From what? Throwing up like that?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
Gender wars. We wouldn't have made it in 10 years without gender wars. Let's give it up for gender wars. Come on.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
She's so doofy. She gonna walk right into the trick.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
I was aiming way too. You see what I mean? Ryan Reynolds.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
Hold up. I ain't going to hold you, boy. Nah. I farted. That nigga shit. Nah. That's what he just said.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
It's a good soundtrack, by the way. That nigga heard one little soundtrack, and every week we got to hear some. Come on, drop some freeway shit for Philly.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
I'm telling you, lady. Mel, stop. Lady. Mel, please. Nah, for real, because you're going to try and do some funny shit right now.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
Yo, can I get some more cups? Everybody in the room, toast, man. Hey, yo, yeah, yeah. Everybody come in the middle.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
I feel like I need to be at least on the mic because it's a whole new production.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
All right, we wait. Let him on it. Yeah, all right. He used to be a bottle girl. All right. My nigga, he used to be a bottle dude. Bottle boy. Bottle boy. Wait, what was the name of Roy's shit? Bel Air? You know what that Bel Air Rose is?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
All right, Dan. Hey, it's me. That shit all right. I think I get better because all my geeks stay dirty like a project.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
We'll chill it. We'll chill it for you. For a couple hours. We'll chill it, and then you chill.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
Y'all ain't go in there and kill Joe that he was wrong about the settlers. What do you want me to say?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
Let's see this bitch drag. Let's see you carry this one. Oh, man, I'm horrible.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
All right, I'm going to go get me a little water to celebrate.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
. . . . ., the, P. P. P. P. P. P. P.實, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, Little I. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
Yo, y'all make it just be all right. All right. It ain't chicken meat. It ain't chicken meat at all. We're moving on. All right, Mark. Hey, you got your answer? Yes.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 801 | "0-5 Zone"
The people, nigga. The people. They pulled me to the side this morning. He don't listen for shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You have to. But I'd definitely tell my daughter.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Then I went home. You can take him to Dayflip. You can take him to Dayflip.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm going to be the adult in the room for a minute and say that we have created some tension in the room. How? How? Y'all seem bothered by this.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
They ain't paying me no money. You look irritated. I'm bothered by it. He texted his daughter and shit. He ain't paying me no money.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Okay, then we good. Yeah, we're great. I promise. You look irritated. I am. Hey, listen.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
But you know what it is? A lot of times dudes be more hype about, like, no dude that I know is that upset about their son getting in some wild shit. Crazy.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
But, like, nobody's like, oh, my son's 15 eating pussy. Right. Yes, sir. No, I'm just saying, a lot of people don't. I'm not saying they write it wrong.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You always make it gay. We don't care. If he's gay, he's gay.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
A lot of niggas feel that way. It just takes a special kind of person to write that shit on paper, especially when the whole world going to see it. Because your kid is going to see that later, too, that you didn't want that. Just do it old school and don't show up. Just do it like everybody else's old man did. I'll be there at 15.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm sorry, I'm thinking four months pregnant, forgive me. Yeah, no, four months old. I mean, she had a moment to make that choice. Right. Yeah, she could still make that choice. Even with the child in, she can make that choice. Adoption, foster. I got you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Y'all can... No, no, I agree with you that I think it's cowardly. I don't like the idea of abandoning your kids. I think no matter what the situation is, you got to be there once the kid is here. You just got to make that choice. But I agree with you that I don't think it's necessarily immaturity per se. I think just some people are fucked up. Yeah, some people just feel that way.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah, and they're just fucked up people. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yo, he was intense. I was like, yo, you want to switch? He was like, no. I will not switch. I was like, hold on.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
This don't take much to be a black. If he had just showed up to like one skate party.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah, after the fifth bucket, I was like, hey, let's switch. He was like, no. Then you switch.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
That's when they blame moms. They blame the moms. Sometimes it do be the mom.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I think that's muttish. Why would you do that? I just don't understand why somebody would do that.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
No, hyphenated I can understand. Did he hyphenate or did he just take her name?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Oh, hyphenate I respect. I'm fine with hyphenating it. Still a pussy. I wouldn't do it, but I respect it. Still a pussy. What's wrong with hyphenating? Be a man.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I could live with that too. Like, I think hyphenating it My personal belief is just keep your name. I don't own you. You know what I mean? My wife has her name. I got my name. I'm good with that. But I know people who say, as a family, we want to be able to walk in. For women, a lot of times... Well, your wife didn't take your name.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah. And also, you know, and then there's the Latin American thing where, you know, you have different names and, like, naming is different, you know? But... No, I don't know. Yeah, it's like, so... A lot of times kids will take both names of the parents, you know what I mean? And then as you go down the line, then one name gets knocked off and the next name comes on.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
So that's a way of acknowledging both parents. So it's not this thing where just like the dad's name takes over everybody's identity.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I save it for financial abuse and sex. Except for after the game the other day. Your son got your last name off? He hyphenated. He has both of our names. And my daughters have the same thing. They all hyphenated with their moms. And I'm good with that. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need that. But I know people who say, like, as a family unit, we all want to have the same last name.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I thought that I was going to bring that up. I wasn't sure if that's... That's not Hove's Hove. Wait, so he's Carter Knowles? Knowles Carter.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
And... So, shout out to him. I think that's dope. Well, it's... I think hyphenated. Mel, would you want your husband to hyphenate?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I want to hear your stance. Mel, let them get their 1v1.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
For me, it's about just what flows better. You know what I mean? And things like that. Like, if your name is Krzyzewski and the other one is Smith, like, Krzyzewski-Smith might just flow better than Smith. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how I would think about it. To me, it's not who got more money or who's more dominant. It's just what's gonna flow better.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Five. You might have more than five. No, no, no. At the point where I asked him to switch, I said, switch, I'll take him. He was like, no, I got him.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Let me see. And Mel, would you feel okay with your... Oh, this is Zoe shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
She's big. Mel, you said what? Huh? Okay. Okay, with dude taking your name, would it be y'all say separate? Like is he Michael Smith?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Do you think it's possible to be an alpha man and take your name? You like alpha men?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You like alpha men? You can't walk. You can't get up.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You really don't. Nigga, he had eight. Joe had eight points. Yeah. He had eight or nine points.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
But is it possible to think about things, saying I like tradition, but say some traditions just aren't good anymore?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Seven of them were on the R&B singer. Oh, no. Y'all not going to do that. Let E, wait for E to get here. I'm going to be here for Patreon. That's all. I'm saving my... No, it was so much. We all, you know, it was a lot of fun.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Let's go big-ish. I hear that. Should I say mock? Smoke mail. Smoke. Smoking on that mail pack.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Antiquation. Here's the thing that I think Ish is right about. I think that women, I can't speak for you personally, But there are women who will say that they don't want tradition and traditional gender roles, but there are moments where they want what they call a benevolent patriarchy. Like, you still want the door held for you. Let's go.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Manners. Why wouldn't manners also include you holding the door for me?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I don't disagree with you. But let's say hypothetically I wasn't married and you and I went on a date. Actually, let me not use me. Let's say you and gentlemen. Don't use me. Don't use me. No, you. Use you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Use you. Okay, so hypothetically, you and I go on a date. I suspect that if I didn't open the doors for you... You'd judge me. At the end of the date, you said... And I just let the door close. Or if I didn't pick up the check. Okay. Right? That there would be a thing of, yo, what kind of dude... Butter in the pan. Because there's an expectation of what I'm supposed to do. The fire are hot too.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
No, I mean, we're just talking. Y'all clear out. So when I hear you say chivalry, even chivalry are expectations of what manners look like that are gendered. Because chivalry is me opening the door for you. It's not you opening the door for me.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
So I think sometimes when we say we're traditional or we're non-traditional, to Isha's point, we are picking and choosing. I'm okay with picking and choosing. But I think we have to sometimes be more self-aware about how invested in some of those patriarchal traditions we are, especially when they benefit us.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Are we going to commit to doing this once a quarter, once a month, once every other month?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
We'll play better if we play more. That's true.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
. . . . ., the, P P P P P P P P P P,實,c,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g Little E I E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E emר
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I've never been a paintball guy. I love paintball. Why don't you pick the activities so you would be included? Why don't you pick the activities?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
And I think they've learned a lesson, too. I mean, you look at Al Franken, for example, you know, powerful senator in Minnesota. He stepped away for a very small charge relative to what some of these other Republicans have been accused of. I'm not defending what Al Franken did. I don't even know what Al Franken did exactly because I just don't remember.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
But I do know that I think Democrats have learned a lesson that they're playing by two different rules. They keep stepping aside. Republicans be like, yeah, I pulled my dick out. I don't care. I'm running again. And you vote for me. And they do. And I jerked it. Right.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah. So Andrew Cuomo might be the return of some courage for them. You know what I mean? Even though I don't like him, you know, I hate Eric Adams, so I'll take it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
On the campaign. Oh, my God. And in the primary, too. Yeah. And in New York primary. Because you really get a good primary challenge. Cuomo's a New Yorker, B. Yes.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah, he was a plurality man. Niggas was like, eh? Yeah. He's somebody that was like, all right, of all these people, he's the least, he's the one we hate the least. Yeah. Whereas Andrew Cuomo, people stand up for and want.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Jay, all of them. And Hope at the time. Yeah. Angie, all of them.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I've never done that before. I can shoot pool. I don't know if there's no axe.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I've done the axe. I can't shoot pool. And I'm trash in pool. I'm trash.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You already know. One week ain't gonna throw us off.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You got to reevaluate. You can't have your 1996, 2006 mind, because your body still thinks it's that. Like, my body still thinks it's 96. For, like, bursts of speed, and then it's over. Then you be like, nigga, you can't play no more. I could have killed Mark, ass.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
You gotta rock, nigga. Mine is in honor of Angie Stone. You know, after she left the sequence, she joined Vertical Hole, so I got a track from Vertical Hole called Seems You're Much Too Busy.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I was scared to shoot it. I bricked the cards again. I'm going to try to just pass. I'm going to beat my man and pass the ball.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
There we go. I just couldn't imagine 60 years. We all do that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm happy at home. Shout out to you, baby. I love you.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
We got to break this shit down to Patreon, man. I heard some things. What'd you heard? I just heard that there was plenty of rain in that cloud.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
That's right. I did go out to dinner Sunday night. I did go out to dinner, and I felt every minute of that. I'm talking about getting out the car, getting into the car, sitting. Oh, yeah, no. We went to some steakhouse in Montclair. That shit was like, man, I couldn't pick up the fork. My eyes was hurt. Everything was hurt. Lord.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Did your wife know just how much pain your body was in, or did you try to tough it out? I got a pretty high pain threshold because I'm always getting injured from shit. You know what I mean? And so she heard me say that we might try this again. That picture I sent you of us on the ground, she took that picture. She didn't send that to commemorate it. She was like, stop, nigga, stop.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
She was like, this is what y'all look like. Whenever y'all think about doing this shit again, look at this picture. Your wife is right. Let this be your go-to. Exactly. I ain't going to listen to it. We ain't going to listen to it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm going to learn how to swim. Fuck this. Yo, if you want to take a group class, because I've tried to learn how to swim like four times. You can't swim, bro? You can't be that surprised. A little surprised. That's racist. I don't know. How many of y'all can swim? Show of hands. Who can swim? I'm just going to draw a melanin. So immigrants can swim. Oh, shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I meet a lot of Jamaicans, a lot of West Indies.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I took my daughter to swim lessons from age six months to about 12. She took swim lessons. She's a lifeguard. She could do all that. I tried to do the lessons. It didn't work. Do you panic when you get in the water? Do you panic?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Can I say something about Angie Stone? Sure, go ahead. Angie Stone. First of all, rest in peace, Angie Stone. She's one of those people who... Oh, wait, hold on. You're about to be serious. At least let the hook go. Oh, sorry. All right, hold on.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
all right that's all i need all right all right back to the legend yeah legendary angie stone neo soul legend all that real i didn't know her well but i knew her well enough you know i knew her to speak interviewed a bunch of times real good people one of the few people that when they die everybody has good things to say and doesn't have to lie or doesn't have to remain silent but the thing that i want to say about angie stone i think is important is that a lot of people only think about her as a neo soul goddess
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
and they forget that she is a hip-hop pioneer. As much as, you know, No Rain In This Cloud and all the songs that came out when she made that album in 99, which is great, she's part of Sequence. You know, and Sequence, you know, when hip hop is really moving, when we move from disco to hip hop and you start to hear hip hop as a party sound, she's the voice of that. She's the soundtrack.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Her and the other two sisters are the voice of that. Sequence is a hip hop pioneering group. They were the second act sign of Sugar Hill Records. They were major hip hop act. And when we do the hip hop commemorations and the 50th anniversary, sometimes we leave out Angie Stone and we leave out Angie B at the time and we leave out Sequence.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm just saying, as we remember her, let's really write her in the history and not just in the R&B. That's it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I agree. That was very well said. I'm good at the talking job.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah. Yesterday's the rough one. Second day's the worst. Yeah, second day. Nah, my Sunday was bad. I couldn't walk.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
It's a little different, but here's the difference.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Her husband was like where you are. I was about to say her husband wasn't right there. Right. I'm sorry.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
But she turned to him and said, you know, I got to do this right. And didn't really wait for it, yes.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm not saying one is better or worse. I'm just saying they're different. Because I think it's a little... I couldn't walk up to... On stage, you could get caught up in the moment. But grabbing somebody... On a carpet. On a carpet. Pre-planned. Pre-planned in front of their spouse, to me, is a tougher sell. I wouldn't do either. I think you should kiss people with consent. She would have got slid.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
That's all I was thinking was like... I don't know what y'all talking about.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm saying that if you're on the carpet with your dude who happens to be an actor, hypothetically, old girl walks over, grips him up, and gives him a kiss, turns to you and says, you know I'm going to do this, right? Gives him a kiss. How do you react?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I was like... It's super her. Yeah. You fucked my head up with the... You put the emphasis on the wrong syllable. Wrong syllable, yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Jeans shorts is crazy. The answer is more. I think so. More. The answer is more.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Emphasis. You put the emphasis on the wrong syllable. Yeah, yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
One was the race thing. And two, some people was clowning because her husband was up there. He took her last name. So some people was making jokes about that on... Wait, see, I didn't. Now that team missed me. Her husband took...
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Marco. All I noticed is my wife sent it to me this morning. The balls on this lady. Your wife sent it to you? Yeah, and I was like, I don't know why you sent me this. His name was Marco Perego. Now he's Marco Saldana. Marco Perego. Okay, so she... Oh, so they both kind of prairie names.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
The green card goes faster. I don't know. Green cards go faster with Saldana.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah, what the fuck you talking about? The beef to me ain't shouldn't be with Zoe. And obviously, she's a proud Dominican. People say she doubled down on the Dominican part on the speech, too. Like, I'm the first Dominican to win this award, and hopefully there'll be others. And it's like, you're also black, right?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I thought I had an advantage because it was my second time playing.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
In five, right. I played a few weeks ago, you know. Yeah, no. I got to a point, I thought I was going to have the jump too because I shot on Friday.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'm just trying to get. She's a name. Fordham? Oh.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
And I'm not getting all heavy on her per se, but I understand why people feel a way, especially when these same people sometimes get black roles and they trade on blackness when it's convenient.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
She was a black girl. But she also played Nina Simone.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Because those are ethnicities and those are not races.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
All I'm saying is people can make choices about how they identify. I agree. And I'm not begging nobody to be black if they don't want to identify as black. I agree. However, if you're getting jobs, for example, no white woman would get a job playing Nina Simone. But they would say no white woman in 2025. I heard a rumor.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
My point is they let her get certain jobs. They let certain Latinos get certain jobs because at that moment they identify as black. Right. And then if you identify as black to get that job and then later on down the road, sadly, you throw the black away. I see why people feel frustrated. That's all I'm saying. If you don't be black, don't be black. But don't be don't be Nina Simone.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
So you don't have a white man being Malcolm X in a film?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
That ain't the same. Why is it not? Because a lot of America still thinks Moses is white and Cleopatra is white. That's different than playing somebody as a black person.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
And that's why I gave the Malcolm X example. When you know somebody's black, we would say no. So as we start to identify people by their races, I'm just saying, do we draw a line? But I had a whole other question about something different. Did Conan go too far with the Kendrick joke? The Kendrick Drake joke? That was hilarious. I thought it was hilarious, but some people felt a way.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
How'd you feel? Actually, let me ask you, because I know as a... I think that... As a what?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
And for those that don't know, the joke was that Kendrick said, I mean, that Conan said we're halfway halfway through the Oscars.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Right. Which I thought was a fucking hilarious joke. Just as a joke, I thought it was hilarious. I laughed.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
And honestly, that joke to me is as much about a criticism of Kendrick as it is a diss of Drake. It's like Kendrick is, it's a criticism that Kendrick keep doing this. Like, damn, they got another one? So I didn't see, I saw it as a balanced, funny, brilliant joke.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
So you didn't spend it, it's just the way you... No, I spent it. Oh, okay, okay.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Wait, five digits or five hundreds? Five digits. Oh, oh. Are you crazy? Five hundreds?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Wait, Ish, if you did six a day for one year, it would be 1,800. 49 years times 365 days.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
If you did six a day in one year, you would have done 1,800 already. 365 days a year. You're right, you're right.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
If you don't play ball, what they say is when you're young, you play ball to get in shape. Right. And when you get older, you have to get in shape to be able to play ball. Because when you hit your 40s, like, your skill diminishes with your lack of conditioning. So, like, you can't shoot if you don't have any legs. And mobility. Because your mobility.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah. Oh, you don't say. That's actually the... I didn't know that. I thought niggas just... That's literally the debate they was having two weeks ago. Oh, for real? Verbatim.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
That's great though, man. And you got a lot of insurance costs too, I'm sure. Huh?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I just don't want that to happen. Like some crazy unexpected shit could happen. Like a brawl could break out on set.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Next thing you know. I paid it two days ago. Okay. Solid. That's all. Damn, y'all get money up here.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Why is Paul George on the board? I just want to understand. Oh, man. Because Paul George, last week.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
He really said that. So the question for me, not to take it off of Paul George, because I think that's fair, is in general, should NBA players be allowed to have podcasts?
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Oh, that's not true. Draymond is winning. Draymond's winning, too. But for me, it's not about... Bron is winning. If you're winning, no one complains. If you're losing, people complain. But for me, and that's ultimately what it comes down to, right? As a fan or as an owner, that's the perception of it for me, as well as the effectiveness of it. The first question is, can you pod...
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
and be good at this. It's your job. And I don't know, some people can, some people can't. Before podcasts, Paul George was sitting out games. Before podcasts existed, he was fucking coming up short in playoffs. At least in a lot of people's minds. The numbers don't really show that, but whatever, right? It's the perception of it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
No, he didn't go. Who said that? No, he didn't go anymore, yo. He going to call you when he go again? Oh, boy. So if I can't give these tickets away, and Embiid is injured, Paul George ain't playing, and then I go to YouTube to type Paul George in to find out when he's going to play, and instead I got another episode of Podcast P, it just looks bad, and it's bad for business.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I'll give it to you right now if you want it.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I was going to... You'd be able to see them. You'd be able to see them. I was going to bring it to you in cash.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
As much money as I spend on season tickets, I actually see it as like, y'all are fucking with my money right now. I feel disrespected. I feel disrespected to watch somebody not play. I mean, when we went to the game, he was just sitting there chilling. Chilling. Yeah.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
To see that and then to watch you be on a podcast every day. Podcast is different than playing basketball. I get that. Clearly, we proved that this weekend. But at some point, you got to look like you're giving an effort. You know what I'm saying? As an owner, I think they should just make a rule.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Take a break. Yeah, I'm like six episodes behind y'all. Oh my God. Take a walk. Take a walk. Starbucks.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Yeah, that's a level of financial sophistication. And a desire to grow financially. A lot of these wealthy kids, like, they just want to spend. They just want to spend the rest of their life spending money.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
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The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
I was like, Corey's like, I ain't going nowhere.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Actually, I wasn't talking a lot of shit, but I was responding to him talking shit. You're the reason this is happening. No, no, that's not what happened, but... I'll let that go. It started with me and Ish saying something, and he said, y'all two can't play no ball. Let's go play ball. That's how it started.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Bad as hell. I do that too, though. I do the zoom in. You a feet guy? Yeah, yeah. It's important. What? It's important. I don't even know when they had feet.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
That's what y'all always say. Why would we get around our niggas? You don't say it without saying it. No, you say it. Y'all say that shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
What? I'm saying I picked, like, no, no, no. I picked him up.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
very next play I think was finished I was done that was all my energy for the rest of the day yo he was finished I was done for the next five possessions I was hollering like yo that's all I had then you start thinking like shit in my 20s I can do this every possession now I can't do that shit I can do that once a day it's over I do have a bit of bad news to report
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Right. God. Oh, my God. This is that other age shit, man. When we was young, our favorites got, like, killed in gunfire and random shit. Now they die from, like, health shit.
The Joe Budden Podcast
Episode 805 | "Support The Lie"
Damn. Send strength to them, to Raphael Sadiq and the rest of them.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Hey, I am struggling with getting my wife and I on the same page on getting out of debt. I've been an avid listener for you guys only about two months, but yeah, multiple times a day I'm trying to catch up on Spotify and I'm really buying in. I think Deloney says drinking the Kool-Aid. I want to go gazelle intense and really get after everything.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
And I got the every dollar I did our budget, and we have a lot of debt, and my wife is not as terrified about it as I am. I just needed some advice on how I want to get her to see things my way, but I'm smart enough to know that we have to see things the same way, not my way.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
I've said a couple things. She likes the message. She doesn't always like Dave's delivery. So it's hard to get her to follow through with it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Uh, yeah, probably. I think she ever heard a podcast, um, on the Bluetooth in my truck.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
I make good money. I'm a young man. I mean, I think I'm a young man. I'm 27. I make really good money, but it's paycheck to paycheck, and that's how my wife and I both grew up.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
I want to give my kids the life I didn't have.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
So she agrees. She wants to get out of debt. I've explained the snowball. She likes the process. She just doesn't have the same intensity.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
I have a long commute to work. And so you're just listening to, and I've seen the social media clips and I like what you say. So I started listening to the podcast. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
Yes, we're trying to get out of debt. Got about $250,000, including our mortgage and doctors and credit cards. And so we're working on that. And we're just wondering, I'm 51, wife's 48. So we know in the next 10, 15 years or so we'll retire. So is it still wise to hold off on investing and
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
Pause that and pay the debt because also we have an opportunity that if we can sell our house, we can move on to some family land and put a trailer there to cut down on costs. So just didn't know what the best plan is.
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
Oh, it's close to 60%. We've already done that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
About $240,250, something like that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
Well, it's about $180,000. I'm not good with math. I'll stop there.
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
uh credit cards uh a personal loan and medical bills okay tell me how much the credit cards are tell me how much the personal loans are and tell me how much the medicals are uh the credit cards are they're probably close to twenty thousand okay then that personal loan personal loans uh probably about twenty three thousand okay and then that medical debt i don't have an exact number on the medical day because i just figured it all up this one
The Ramsey Show
You Can Build Wealth No Matter Where You Are in Life
Probably about $3,000, $2,600, $2,600 plus $3,000, so about $56,000. Okay, good.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
My net worth is $2.1 million, and then I have a business that's probably worth $400,000, so $2.1, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
Yep. Real estate, $1.7 million. Retirement, $305,000. Cash, $100,000.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
Best year working income would be about $225,000. Worst year was probably $20,000. Got you.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
I now own a training company, but for years I actually worked as a safety professional in manufacturing.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
I do. I have an undergraduate degree and an MBA. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
You know, what helped me was following my very strategic around following net worth, not income. So it's just you win the month or the day or the year. And so when I started doing that, that was probably the biggest thing. You know, that's what I would tell people.
The Ramsey Show
Small Changes Now Mean Big Wins Later
Yeah, focus on your net worth on a weekly, monthly, yearly basis, not on your income.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
Appreciate it. Sure. What's up? So I'm 21 years old. I have a baby on the way.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
When's it due? July 14th. Awesome, man. Good for you. Thank you. I have my own business in pet care. I'm a dog trainer. And I am $300,000 in debt. From what? So my question is... So my question is, do I focus on expanding the business, hiring and trying to be able to make the business self-running so I could be as present of a dad as possible or focus on paying off debts?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
So we started mobile. So I started the business when I was 19, doing it mobile, kept costs low, did it out of my truck. And then as we expanded, we decided that we needed a facility. So we rented and then kind of renovated a 4,000 square foot facility. That was in April of last year. So I took a home equity line of credit loan from my dad, which I know now from listening to you guys is a no-no.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
Our lowest package is $33.75, and our most expensive package is $8,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
So the home equity line of credit, the total of it was $225,000. And then we used some of that to do employee salaries when we first moved in. We did a lot of that for renovations and then also into marketing. Then we have $30,000 for a van that we use. Are you profitable? Yeah, so last year we did $300,000 in sales. $40,000 of that was profit for our first year.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
So our total overhead per month is $17,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
So do I focus on expanding the business? No. Hiring, trying?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
So what I figured while going through the process of it, like I believe that the total cost of re of renovations alone that we did was between like 15, 65,000. Um, but, The goal was to then extend our lease once that five years was up.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Is Hard but Being Broke Is Harder
No, no, no. I didn't pay myself out of loan. We had employees. We had up to three at one point. Um, but then in October we got pretty slow. So I let everyone go, went down to just, uh, me working. Uh, and then you have a $40,000 a year job that you own.
The Ramsey Show
Quit Letting Broke People Give You Financial Advice!
Hi, Dave. Hi, Jade. Thank you for taking my call. Sure.
The Ramsey Show
Quit Letting Broke People Give You Financial Advice!
So my wife and I have done a wonderful job at saving and investing. You know, depending upon the age that we retire at, I don't think it's unrealistic that we could end up with a nest egg of between $8 and $12 million. Well done, sir. Touchdown. Thank you. Thank you. So my question is... We're a Christian family. We have four younger, wonderful daughters between the ages of 7 and 13 right now.
The Ramsey Show
Quit Letting Broke People Give You Financial Advice!
And I want to know what you feel is appropriate to leave behind as an inheritance, because we're conscious of what the Bible says about money, and we don't want to spoil our children or teach them to rely on money as opposed to relying on God for their needs.
The Ramsey Show
Quit Letting Broke People Give You Financial Advice!
uh you know going for forward after we pass do you not think it's possible to teach them that and with having built that character that they're then able to own this wealth like you are able to own this wealth well i'm i'm not saying that at all i just you know i never had a nest egg like that passed to me no i know and so you know but do you think the only way to learn it is to start out broke
The Ramsey Show
Quit Letting Broke People Give You Financial Advice!
Totally agree with you. I just didn't know if there was maybe a line that maybe... you might cross over like that's too much or something like that.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
So I've been listening to you guys every morning, um, on my way to work on, on the, um, satellite radio, like the car. And, um, I just, I got into a mess here. I make about 125,000 a year. And, um, last year I made 125 and then I got a bonus of like 70,000 last year too. And, um, And then right now, I don't have anything in my savings. I don't have anything in my checkings. I'm broke.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
I'm paying my very minimums on my credit card. I got about 27 credit cards. I pay the minimum, and it's like every day I'm paying the minimum on one of those cards, and it's like I miss a card once. One month, I forgot I had one, so I'm writing them in my calendar. So every day in my calendar is filled with a minimum payment that I've got to pay to a credit card company.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
I don't know. I really don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what I do.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Grocery store. Yeah, eating out, grocery store.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Buying things. Buying too many things, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
No sports betting. No sports betting. I don't do any sports betting.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
No. Marijuana, if that's considered, you know, just self-medicating, just trying to get out of debt, you know, maybe that. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Yes, sir. Why wouldn't you do that? I mean, I hear you say it all the time, cut them up. I mean, so what do you mean? Like, literally cut them up?
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
I have a vehicle, $18,000. I bought one of those car vending machines online.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
No, just helping my wife I'm separated from, helping her and the kids.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
So I have racked up a little bit of debt since I've been 18. I'm currently in about $26,000 worth of debt. My income's at $52,000. Possibly my girlfriend of about seven years are possibly considering a baby in the next year. Although she has a car loan on top of all my debt that has about $14,000 on it. I'm just looking for the best advice on how to take all of this.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
We were thinking just the current situation, although— Marriage, that would be one thing. We've been together for a while. We've talked about it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
She brought it up, but I will say it is more of an equal excitement thing.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
We've had our issues in the past. Well, we worked it out. How long have you been with this girl?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
Yeah, I definitely agree. I just finished. I listened to the Total Money Makeover earlier this morning at work, actually. Good. I was able to.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
No, that's the thing. I don't have any money saved. I was looking to start the Baby Step 1 to save the $1,000. Although I got an email today from Chrysler Capital wanting me to call them, so I did. And they're offering me a payout. for an old auto loan that I have.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
The loan for that, it's owed about $13,000 left on it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
They're offering a $500, $600 payout, but it has to be paid by the 30th of this month.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
No, the car was worth almost $10,000, but the engine went bad, so I told them to just take it back. This was a couple years ago now.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
I actually asked them to mail me a piece of paper stating that before I gave them any money because I didn't want to send them money that would not be true.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
Yeah, I... I put a, I made out of the budget and I can, with this budget, I can pay it on the 22nd.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
My next smallest debt would be my CDL school that I just I just got.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action
Um. If I can pay it off in six months, they say $6,000. If not, it'll be $250 a month until it's at like $10,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
Hey, good afternoon. My wife and I created an LLC and basically for any business ventures that we wanted to take and also prep for like another endeavor after I retire from the fire service. And so we are wanting to add our daughters to our LLC that we created. So instead of having them as employees for this business, they'll be owners.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
I can save costs for the business and my daughters, more money for investments, more money for inheritance. How big of a business is this? I'm just starting it out right now. So it's just at the ground level. And I'm just trying to prevent getting taxed to death. We're in the state of Washington, and the governor and everybody else wants to tax us to death.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
So I have my view of, yeah, this sounds pretty great. I think it'll work. I've taken considerations of, okay, how much, what percentage would they own or have in the LLC situation? But, of course, it's just my view. I'm curious what your views are, what your concerns that you see might happen in the future.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
Um, having ownership in it. I mean, one of the main concerns is like, I went to a workshop yesterday and the state brought in all the different like department of revenues, et cetera, uh, uh, secretary of state. Um, so the, the one thing that I'm trying to prevent is, uh, it's like, you don't know if social security is going to be there.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
So I want to try and eliminate them having to pay social security if possible. Um, uh, 22, 22, and 20.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
I haven't talked to them yet. I've talked to my wife about adding them, but I'm just trying to get all the answers to any possible questions before we even offer this up.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
They have the desire. They want to work the business.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
So I'm just trying to prevent us, like, paying too much in, like, Social Security, unemployment, L&I, and, of course, the mandatory long-term care tax that the state has imposed. Okay. And, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
This is an idea that I came up with myself and just taking a look at.
The Ramsey Show
Hard Decisions Today Bring Freedom Tomorrow
Going in, flushing tankless water heaters. Not everybody knows that tankless water heaters need to be serviced, flushed annually.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
My wife's car is worth about $45,000, and my car is worth about $15,000, daily drivers.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
So, I don't know, yeah, probably $60,000 I have total tied up in cars right now.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
У меня также 15 000 долларов в налоге и 27 000 в зарплате. Дело в том, что мне кажется, что я не очень intentional с моими деньгами, потому что я живу с отцом, поэтому мне кажется, что я еще как-то как 18-летний, потому что я думаю, что это нормально. Я беру свои кредитные карты каждый месяц, но я использую их так много,
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я думала, что я должен просто уйти, чтобы быть более серьезным и независимым с моими деньгами. Но часть из меня не хочет уйти сейчас, потому что не было даже года, когда моя мама умерла.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мой отец и я оба верили, что она будет лучше. К сожалению, это не было планировано Богом. Но я просто не знаю, потому что мой отец никогда не жил сам. У него было семь братов и сестры, которые поехали в армию, а потом он и моя мама женились, когда они были в армии. Это сложно, потому что я не хочу просто оставить его без кого-либо.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да. Потому что я получила аппетит EveryDollar, и я смотрю на свои зарплаты, и я думаю, боже мой, девушка, ты неровная с денег.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, он приходит в церковь каждый субботник со своей отцом, а также я попросила его прийти в GriefShare в местной церкви, и я пытаюсь улучшить обучение, как он сказал, он, наверное, должен. Да, да.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
So at the beginning of this call, Sharon, you mentioned that he is more the one that's controlling all the finances.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Does that mean, do you have a debit card to your account that you share with him and you go and buy the costumes for the kids?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
$12,500 for the one, and then the other one is a total of $13,000.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
And does your wife work outside the home at all?
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Kind of, yeah. So I know how you guys say to jumpstart and go and pay off one bill and then do a snowball and go after the next bill. So a friend offered to pay off my small loan that I have.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Well, no. Those loans that I took out on my 401k, I have two loans on my 401k that I took out and how much are they um let's see one is one is like 19 000 and the other is like 3 000. okay so is that your all of your loans and debt to be clear you don't have any credit card debt no car debt just the 401k loans i would not put money between you and yet another relationship
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
This guy is probably one of the most godliest people I've ever met in my life.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
No, I am... How much could you throw at it? I am... I am so broke that I can't do hardly anything. What I'm doing right now is I anticipated... having to owe like $8,883 on the taxes from last year that is in debt and the negotiation.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Hi. I friended somebody on Facebook who I thought was NASCAR driver Denny Hamlin, and we developed a friendship, and it quickly turned financial, and I thought it was Denny Hamlin, and it came all about my money and I ended up doing like six quantity $500 gift cards. And I was told that he had a briefcase stuck in customs and his documentation to get it inside the United States expired.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
So I ended up doing a withdrawal on my 401k and killed my IBM 401k. And then it kept being held in customs, and I ended up doing more loans on my other Global Foundries 401k, and I lost like $100,000. Oh, man. I'm sorry, dude.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Um... It was later on. This happened like February. It started February of last year, and it started out with like five or six $500 gift cards. And from there, it went to him saying his documentation to get his stuff inside the U.S. expired and
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
then it went to his bank was dragging his feet and he needed to have me do another loan and i just how did you send all this money it was by a cashier's check and i sent it to um place in i believe in virginia in virginia and i had the police no it was in arkansas sorry arkansas And I had the police in Arkansas looking at it. I called the U.S. Secret Service. I called the FBI.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
I called the state police. I called the Berry Police. And you name it, I called it. And one by one, everybody just left me. And my lawyer said that I needed to have a different type of lawyer. My lawyer was helping me out for quite a while. And then my other lawyer has not really gotten back in touch with me. So...
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
I just barely looked at my 401k and I thought that I had, I thought originally it was like 200,000, which to me was all right concern. It's just me because I'm divorced. How old are you? I am 54. Okay. And I looked at my balance as of today, and it was $146,321. So it's not $100,000 like I thought it was. It's $146,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
No. The only thing I do, I pay $1,000 for rent, and that's heat, hot water, utilities, trash, recycle. And then I pay... $60 for phone and then I paid like $50 a month for Wi-Fi and that's it.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
I make about $60,000 a year. My pay per hour is $24.71.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
I'm scared and I'm fearful and I'm wondering what to do.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
finances, worrying how I'm going to afford things, what happens when I need a car, how do I get my money back that I lost.