Mark Groves

And you're like, man, and you maybe go on dates and someone texts you when they say they're going to. And you're like, what? This is kind of weird. This is boring. Yeah, exactly. When you get regulated, you'll see that reliability is the hottest shit ever. But what happens to the system is that as it reorganizes, so if I've never laid a boundary, the first time I lay a boundary is a Hail Mary.

And you're like, man, and you maybe go on dates and someone texts you when they say they're going to. And you're like, what? This is kind of weird. This is boring. Yeah, exactly. When you get regulated, you'll see that reliability is the hottest shit ever. But what happens to the system is that as it reorganizes, so if I've never laid a boundary, the first time I lay a boundary is a Hail Mary.

It's like, because boundaries feed self-worth and boundaries also come from self-worth. But if the first time we've ever laid a boundary, there's an absence of the worst. So the first one is like, I think I got this. And then that's why you need people around you are like, you got this, like we're holding strong.

It's like, because boundaries feed self-worth and boundaries also come from self-worth. But if the first time we've ever laid a boundary, there's an absence of the worst. So the first one is like, I think I got this. And then that's why you need people around you are like, you got this, like we're holding strong.

It's like, because boundaries feed self-worth and boundaries also come from self-worth. But if the first time we've ever laid a boundary, there's an absence of the worst. So the first one is like, I think I got this. And then that's why you need people around you are like, you got this, like we're holding strong.

And the old way of thinking is if they don't like my boundary, then the boundary wasn't good. No. You have to like your boundary. No one else has to like your boundary. And them not liking it doesn't mean the boundary is not awesome. It could be the best boundary in the world.

And the old way of thinking is if they don't like my boundary, then the boundary wasn't good. No. You have to like your boundary. No one else has to like your boundary. And them not liking it doesn't mean the boundary is not awesome. It could be the best boundary in the world.

And the old way of thinking is if they don't like my boundary, then the boundary wasn't good. No. You have to like your boundary. No one else has to like your boundary. And them not liking it doesn't mean the boundary is not awesome. It could be the best boundary in the world.

And I say for people who don't have boundaries that often the first things you actually need are walls because that actually delineates a self. When we've been so enmeshed in other people's experiences, we actually need to separate ourselves to discover who we are. And so actually taking space from family of origin

And I say for people who don't have boundaries that often the first things you actually need are walls because that actually delineates a self. When we've been so enmeshed in other people's experiences, we actually need to separate ourselves to discover who we are. And so actually taking space from family of origin

And I say for people who don't have boundaries that often the first things you actually need are walls because that actually delineates a self. When we've been so enmeshed in other people's experiences, we actually need to separate ourselves to discover who we are. And so actually taking space from family of origin

like parents, people who really trigger us is actually necessary in order to be like, oh, like I don't have to be in relationship with all these, they're almost like tentacles or hooks. Yeah.

like parents, people who really trigger us is actually necessary in order to be like, oh, like I don't have to be in relationship with all these, they're almost like tentacles or hooks. Yeah.

like parents, people who really trigger us is actually necessary in order to be like, oh, like I don't have to be in relationship with all these, they're almost like tentacles or hooks. Yeah.

Yeah, and it might not even be possible.

Yeah, and it might not even be possible.

Yeah, and it might not even be possible.

Yeah, boundaries have to have consequences. Otherwise, they're just suggestions. You know, like, And people who are boundary bulldozers, they know you're suggesting. They're going to test you. You know, it's Harriet Lerner who talks about, like, they do a change-back move. So as soon as you, like, do something, they try to get you to change back by doing something else.

Yeah, boundaries have to have consequences. Otherwise, they're just suggestions. You know, like, And people who are boundary bulldozers, they know you're suggesting. They're going to test you. You know, it's Harriet Lerner who talks about, like, they do a change-back move. So as soon as you, like, do something, they try to get you to change back by doing something else.

Yeah, boundaries have to have consequences. Otherwise, they're just suggestions. You know, like, And people who are boundary bulldozers, they know you're suggesting. They're going to test you. You know, it's Harriet Lerner who talks about, like, they do a change-back move. So as soon as you, like, do something, they try to get you to change back by doing something else.