Mark Manson

I will ruin your dinner party if you let me.

So a number of female friends of mine have been really into astrology and I just fucking rain on their parade because this is why this is actually not helpful.

Labels matter.

when you label yourself something, you will start looking for evidence that that label is true.

And this is why shame is so damaging, right?

So when you label yourself as an unlovable or an unworthy person, you will unconsciously start seeking out relationships that confirm that perception of yourself.

So if you take some test and the test is like, you're a very sensing person who like,

needs to work with your hands, you're going to start looking for confirmation of that in the world, whether or not it's true.

And if it's not true, then you're going to bump into a lot of friction in the things that you pursue and the things that you try to do.

And this is why

Accuracy around our traits is just so important because traits can't really be changed.

You have to be accurate about them.

The most important thing is the accuracy.

Because if you're inaccurate about a trait, if you become convinced that you say you are very extroverted when you are actually very introverted, then you are going to spend your life fighting your own introversion and creating tons of unnecessary struggle and frustration for yourself.

So there's a reason bogus personality tests have survived for decades without scientific support.

I mean, they're fun.

They're almost always flattering.

They tell us something that feels true, but also like isn't necessarily verifiable or like not really debatable.

There's no like friction or tension of like trying to like...

you know, actually understand if it's accurate or not.