Mark Manson

It's not that they're gone.

You still feel them down there, but it's just very mild.

It's like the volume knob's been turned way down, and there's all this new emotional machinery that's been built on top of it.

We'll call this segment off the rails with Drew Bernie.

This is all your female fans in the comments have noticed.

But you don't know what to do with it.

And it's like, I would give yourself more credit as well, because like you changed the behavior, but you didn't actually change.

change the adaptation, right?

Like we're going to get to this, but you know, behavior is the entry point.

It is that change in behavior that has even opened you up to be able to talk about this and think about this in the first place, because it was prior to that behavior.

You weren't even, this was not even a discussion that in and of itself is a certain amount of progress.

But I mean, this is,

this is the difficult part with adaptations in general, especially the deep seated ones and the emotional ones.

Like they're not changed in months.

They're not changed even in year, like some deeper seated ones like this.

I mean, it is years and years and years and years and years to like actually get to the other side.

I was pretty avoidant when I was younger.

And I remember, I mean, even up until...

second year i was with my wife like i had this belief this operating assumption that like i was never gonna get married every relationship was temporary um and be be ready to leave at any moment when it's necessary right and it just seemed like in my ex-girlfriends like they got it way worse than my wife did by the time i got to my wife i kind of realized i'm like no i actually like i like having a girlfriend and i should probably not be a fucking deadbeat you know when i'm with them

So that was progress.