Mark Manson

But then I think that progress like opened me up to when I was with her to at least stick around long enough that it, it, it started challenging some of those other underlying beliefs.

Right.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, maybe, yeah, maybe, uh,

Maybe I'm, I am capable of this.

Maybe I like, maybe this is okay.

But I would say those, those beliefs fell away slowly over the course of years with her.

The other thing that fell away too, I had a bad tendency in my earlier relationships of just sabotaging things.

I was definitely that guy who would like start a fight over like something very stupid.

And I did it unconsciously, but I think what it was is it was kind of a triggered avoidant reaction, right?

I totally do this too, yeah.

Right.

Or yeah.

And the worst thing is, is that it tended to happen at like the most intimate moments.

And, um, and I remember actually, so Fernanda, it was one of her birthdays.

I planned a whole day for her.

It was an amazing day.

We were dating.

We had been together for, I think two or three years.