Mark Manson

amazing day together, and she was so happy, and we went to this, like, nice sushi dinner, and I don't remember what, but I just started being such a fucking asshole.

Yeah, okay.

For no reason.

I've done this before, yeah.

For no reason.

And it's, you know, it took me years to realize that, like, that was an adaptation that was stuck.

But the fact that it makes you want to puke.

It probably means it's true.

And it is motivating a lot of this, which unfortunately that's the way it usually works.

Probably the most useful thing for me is I just...

and i was kind of in a similar place when i met fernanda that like i was aware i had this i knew i still had it but i was also like i kind of don't want to have this and i remember with her i just made an agreement with myself because like with my ex before her i just like i was such a shitty boyfriend

And so with her, I was like, it's okay if it ends, but just make sure it ends for a good reason.

Like, don't, don't be a shithead.

Again, and it was behavior, right?

So it was like, I still felt a lot of the things that I used to feel in my old relationships.

I still had a lot of thoughts and beliefs that I had in previous relationships.

I still, there were still times I wanted to break up with her for no reason and go party and sleep with a bunch of girls randomly.

But like,

i had an agreement with myself of like just don't this up for a dumb reason like you can break up with her but it has to be for a legitimate reason and putting that constraint on myself i guess just like eventually made me stop yeah being such a wuss

And it comes back to like the relative definitions, right?