Mark Manson

So it's like in your head, you're 10 out of 10 expressive.

And in her head, you're like a three out of 10.

What else could a woman want?

No, I get it.

I get it.

Heart emojis aren't enough for them.

Well, I guess this is, I mean, this is a perfect segue into our next section, which is about relationship as adaptation machines.

I mean, we talked about in the emotions episode how humans co-regulate each other.

And also our identities, right?

How we identify ourselves and our egos are also mutually defined.

None of us define who we are in a vacuum.

We largely define ourselves relative to the people around us.

And it is those social relationships that kind of add, like create the raw material for us to like define who we are and how we see ourselves.

So it makes sense that

One of the most effective ways to alter adaptations is to put yourself in relationships with people who maybe have more functional adaptations than you, who perhaps can spot some maladaptive adaptations in you.

I mean, there's a real healing power to relationships.

Relationships can also be destructive in this sense.

So like, you know, you could almost define a toxic relationship as a relationship that amplifies your unhealthy adaptations or itself becomes an unhealthy adaptation.

between you and the world.

relationships are so powerful because it is one of the few places that you are able to catch all three of the cognitive the behavioral and the emotional simultaneously if you and i hang out for a weekend and i do something annoying and you're like dude that's annoying i'll be like oh