Mary Beth Chapman

That was my... I was very, very mad for a long, long time.

And I still can get mad when I think about it.

But I...

I think for a mom, we do very, very grieving very differently, grieving very publicly.

I immediately had a child I was not going to lose, extremely worried about, and your other children, right?

And so it was a fatal blow, we feel like, from the enemy to go, I don't like what this family is about.

I don't like what this family is doing.

And I'm just going to try to take them out.

That's how I kind of viewed it.

And I was mad at God because he didn't protect us.

Like, you could have stopped it.

This could have not happened.

And the whys and the blame, all of it.

You name it, it happened.

Yeah, all of it.

I don't know that we ever, I don't know that we ever were able to say, I can't believe you're not over it yet because we're not over it.

You know what I mean?

No, you don't ever get over it, but it's like, you know, it's just like, I can't keep you just sitting there.

We've got to keep moving forward.

And I think as a mother, I can't believe you're laughing.